How do I move on from rejection and not let it affect my self-worth?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 เม.ย. 2018
- Viewer Lola writes, “Hi Susan! How do you move on from rejection and not let it affect your self worth?” Though your ego is bruised, one person doesn’t determine your worth. Here’s how to process what occurred and move forward.
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Guys that rejected me in the past...when I see who they stay with, who they marry, who they cheat them with...it becomes perfectly clear why they did not chose me.
What is the common denominator that those women all possess?
@@AyesheIsAlwaysLovely They are superficial, can endure and produce drama over longer periods of times, have no integrity in terms of their "yes" and "no", ready to suffer in order to keep a man, and imho have no overall self-respect. They will stay frustrated in a problem that is a deal breaker for long periods, until the same problem that was there in the beginning breaks the relationship. I just can't do that. As soon as I am sure the problem that is a deal breaker won't ever be solved, I am 100% ready to walk away, the sooner the better. And men don't stay with women who are ready to walk away, at least not the men I have met so far. It is too uncertain.
@@AyesheIsAlwaysLovely Love your screenname. I'm working on living what your SN suggest.
@@stardustastrology6618 you sound like the kind of woman any man should desire👍👍💖
love this comment.
" the partner what we meet is only capable of expressing love & connecting to the level of their own depth" AMAZING video SUSAN
So true. I did this last time and now I am fearful of getting hurt again!
this is the most perfect and accurate statement....so many broken and incomplete people willing to hurt others cause they don't know any better.
I wrote that line and several others down. Wow. This has been an eye opening video. Thank you Susan!!!
Wow Susan......you are full of gems....completely timely for me right now.....when we know own our worth, the battle is won....❤
@@IndieAnnieJones1 you must mean my ex boyfriend he never knew what he wanted but I did
Watching this because I have all these terrible thoughts because I was rejected by somebody I truly cared for. My mind tricks me into thinking I‘m not good enough & not lovable. I know it‘s not true, but I know I have to work on my self love now.
I'm going through the exact same thing right now. It hits me hardest in the mornings. Feeling loneliness like that is the worst feeling. It feels like everyone you love and care about doesn't feel like that towards yourself. I just started something where every morning when I'm getting ready, I look in the mirror and I say 10 nice things about myself to myself in the mirror. Over time, as letting people know how I'm feeling has helped me a lot.
Same situation here. Rejection when you really care for the person hurts, but we have to remember this is temporary!
Don't look for validation from someone else unless that someone else is worthy of validating you.
Many times rejection can be a matter of poor timing. Someone may choose a match who seems perfect in every way but that person hasn't recovered from a previous relationship. One person is looking for a real relationship and the other is looking for a bandaid and quickly moves on.
Yup, a 100% and it hurts to see them then meeting someone else down the line a few month after you've split who they introduce to their friends and family and go on holiday with them. all the things they denied you... Onwards and upwards.
Yes I've felt that before. Except I needed the band-aid and I wasn't the one who moved on but after they left and moved on I still wanted that person, for personal intimate reasons she didn't even know I looked up to her.
Metalpazallteway After getting to know you for a while, it's very possible she felt like a band aid & wasn't getting what she wanted or needed in your relationship & moved on. Nobody wants to feel like someone's bandaid for a broken heart.....Or perhaps it had nothing to do with that and it was something else - personality differences, lifestyle differences, etc.
G R Her excuse was she was Gay after a second phone call. But I don't buy it because she was too quiet and never really shared her inner thoughts and emotions because I and her were too coward to break the ice every so often, every time after we would physically see each other after soccer practice 3 time's a week, we decided not to text and really it was me because after a gloomy past I never wanted to accept a text message or phone call just one on one encounters. I knew she wanted that part in the relationship but I couldn't bare the thought in the relationship if the relationship did progress after a month. It was my stupid pride but I guess Justice is served.
G R But ironically I asked her out one day a week before the sudden ghosting/ breakup and she accepted a date to go bowling. Whilst she was in some other activity's during the week. She also said she liked to drink and I'm not a fan of it. So you're probably right.
Self worth comes from within not from outside us. When one door closes another one opens to find someone more compatible, so go through that open door. Great video Susan!
CW, wise words. Thank you!
Or one can learn to embrace being free and enjoy being single for life. Many have done so. Both are healthy choices. ^_^
Another door opens and there's nobody there.
@@sagstarExactly or many new doors open and there are no one better there either 😅😢
For me, I think I struggle with accepting people as they are versus the image I paint them to be in my head. I'm a dreamer, so I always see people for what they could be and not what they are. And when my feelings are being over looked and neglected, I always manage to make excuses for the person doing the neglecting; "oh, they're so stressed" or "they're having a hard time". But I don't need to take on someones confusion and problems. I am not anyone's punching bag. I am not here to be leaned on but then deserted when I need someone to lean on. It's unfair and I'm doing myself a disservice when I allow that treatment.
I know exactly where you are coming from! I feel the same way!!!! I give people too much credit sometimes and love can definitely blind you to their faults!
I'm the same way.
Can totally relate to this !! Just keep in mind that you are only seeing them as a good person because you are one yourself :)
I can relate ....I was made to belive that if I don't accept them as they are I should rather question my love for them while my basic needs to be loved , priortised , sentimental understanding and exchange and longing for were made to be as if bookish and also pushing them and making them to change knowing they have alot on their hands but the truth was they lacked such feelings and didn't even loved me, the only use of me was emotional support for them and nothing for me I was so severely gaslighted I started doubting my self regarding just about anything and I had made my habbit to think for them and not be too demanding for the basic things in a relationship and in the end not only was I kicked out I was made to feel the relationship was not right itself and I was partially blamed for it while I kept pouring and pouring my self , fixing things trying to make them work but in the end I was basically being cheated on and they were not even devoted or serious
True.
I handle rejection better now than i did when i was youger. Im a writer, im used to being declined. Rejection doesnt hurt as much if you. Have a strong sense of self. If a person doesnt want you, then theyre missing out. Let it roll off your back and move on to the next one.
Awesome! Yes. I am finally coming around to this conclusion.
So true LA Poet!
If they reject and move on, they are not missing anything. They have let the water roll off their back and move onto the next one or embrace their freedom.
What if the next one and the next one rejects you ????
It also very much depends on HOW you were rejected and for HOW LONG you have been dating the person. Nowadays people discard and dismiss, which is cruel and unnecessary behavior....and very hurtful and can be very damaging regardless if you have high self worth or not.
YES!
Oh tnt, how true how true. I can't believe someone I cared enough about to share my bed with discarded me so casually and with such cool dispatch.
Really though! That's heavily been my Experience.
@@joybartlett379 I can totally relate.
Yes ☹😟
Truly great advice. I know I am worthy of a genuinely great relationship. I've been on both sides of the rejection card. I've stopped looking. Just working on being the best person that I can be. Someday the right lady will find me.
That’s right 🙏
I was recently rejected by a woman, whom I had spent several months crushing on. I was hurt, but I was relieved she had turned me down. She was sending me mixed messages and I wasn't getting a good vibe from her. I took her rejection on the chin and just moved on. There's other fish in the sea. Just look and be patient.
POETIK WARRIOR just happened to me too. Same situation. She just talked to me as a quick fix then went and got a boyfriend just like that. I didn’t make the cut. Oh well I’ll move on to the next.
Thanks,needed to hear this.
It's hard to find mutual feelings. I've been rejected. I've also rejected. Just enjoy being you because someone will see your happy energy and fall in love.
Rejection is apart of life. We all experience it. Just take a step back look at urself and move on. Life is good.
Spot on! Don't sweat the people that can't play on your level.
It's not just about self-worth for me it's about heartbreak and discouragement. I feel like I'll never find someone who is going to stay. I don't like dating. I don't want to "learn" from relationships. I just want to find someone on the Earth to be with and grow the relationship. I feel like people get married, grow and love each other for years...and I get dumped by the person I love and can't do anything about it. I'm just alone and unloved. It was fine for awhile now I just really don't want to experience rejection anymore.
1) Making right partner choices & 2) knowing your own self worth first. Wow. So bang on. Love your videos. Its like a friend is talking to you - honest, clear and upfront.
Self-worth is determined by us! True.
I've known rejection from the age of four to the ripe old age of 75.......the hurt never goes away but you learn to live with it.
I was in floods of tears up until 7 minutes ago when I accidentally stumbled across this video and heard my name, it was as though this message was for me and I truly needed to hear it. Thank you so much.
From Lola (not the same Lola who wrote in)
3 years back, I proposed a girl and she rejected. Not only she rejected but humiliated me because of my looks, financial situation, job, etc... I was devastated and heartbroken for two years thinking something is wrong with me. However, after viewing Susan videos on dating and how to increase my self esteem/worth, I realised, I've suffered for no reason. Now, I am very good at handling rejections. I don't tolerate any BS. If I see any red flags, bye bye, go waste someone else time. Not mine.
“The partner that we meet is only capable of expressing love and connecting to the level of their own depth” so sad when the person needed so much love that the didn’t believe they deserved. But refreshing to realise your heart should be saved for someone who can fully reciprocate the love you have
It makes so much sense. I was doubting myself when I was rejected by a man. After spending some time to get to know myself more, I know it's nothing to do with my self worth, just he couldn't provide what I needed.
Damn Susan, I’m watching this at 4am and this has made me feel so much better.... I had been overthinking this for a few days now, it finally makes sense.
You are like an older sister to me. Thank you for all your guidance and advice.
Really helpful video! It makes so much sense to make sure we are “fishing in the right pond”; and that we have no control over the other person’s level/understanding of love.
i would give a prostitute the respect of keeping my mouth shut about any affections of love she may have given to me even after i had paid her for it
Wow, what a phenomenal response! You’re so well spoken and the way you articulate and just break things down make it completely impossible to not interrupt everything you’re saying. Thank you kindly for this video ♥️
Susan, you are a breath of fresh air and inspiration. You always find a way to make it easy for us to understand these tools and for that I am so incredibly grateful. You’re a star!!! 🌟
Omg that comment is what I needed to hear - I so needed to watch this video right now thank you so much Susan for helping me feel better at such a difficult time in my life ... hope you do more videos on self love and self worth ...
This is such a powerful wake up call. I am still in pain cuz my ego is hurting so much from rejections, which sometimes feels like the theme of my life. But I think it’s going to suck less day by day and I’m going to keep listening to this. Thank you so much.
Totally resonated with that. And the funny thing is that I knew all of it instinctually already, but hearing you saying it and validate my thoughts was a bit of a breakthrough. And a sigh of relief. Wow! Thank you so much. I really appreciate you sharing so generously with your advice. ❤️
Susan - I love your comments on self-worth specifically how we can't let other people and circumstances determine our self-worth BUT WE DO. And, for those of us who are codependents we DEFINITELY look for our self-worth from other people; if they approve of us or like us we can feel good about ourselves. I would LOVE IT if you would do a few videos on self-worth especially if you have been in a relationship with a passive aggressive person or a narcissist. Thanks and love your videos!!!
I was abruptly broken up with after 10 years. Your videos are helping me to live again. Thank you
Dear Susan I've been thru a lot and you are always a calm voice of reason, tyvm
Susan thank you after 5 months i passed my old narcissist grilfiend on the street in San Gabriel ca and i feel great i did not call her or text feeling really good it didn't really bug me at all thanks to you and your help your great. Its funny i bet she expects me to call. Ha no way have a great day
I love watching you. You’re riveting, not only in your intellect but your also your beauty. Thank you for the straight forward advice, it really helps and I mean that sincerely.
This message really resonated with me and is what I needed to hear. I’ve been combing the internet looking for something that could fit my specific pain and was giving up on finding something. Thank you so much, your effort is appreciated by this hopeless romantic!
This is amazing advice. Worth watching again and again! So therapeutic, valuable, practical and helpful. Thank you!
hi susan, i first found you on cast pod and found you to be so insightful. i was left via text an almost a4yr. relationship just like that. it was so devastating and talk about being so rejected and did not think i would survive this. its six months now, and i did need to cocoon for a bit there and listen to you til the wee hours of the morning. ou gave me hope and thankyou for that. still under construcgtion but geting stronger and more self awared then ever i know today i am not what happened to me and he does not determine my worth, besides someone who exits in that form is someone to run from and i know this now. thankyou for helping me pick up my broken pieces and begin rebuilding a better me
Thank you so much Susan, I have been having difficulties with processing the process of rejection. I appreciate you so much for making these videos. Greetings from Belgium!!
Your advice is so good, I am learning to see things in a whole different light. Thank you for sharing your insight and knowledge it's very much appreciated 😊
I am honestly so thankful for you and your videos Susan!! You help me so much
I just want to say that you are a wonderful, highly intelligent, beautiful woman, and you really know how to distill human nature for us to understand and recognize our potentials. You have given me insight into what love is after having possibly forgotten it for many years. Thank you so much.
Susan, you are a very sincere advisor and a lovely person. I agree with you. I used to have such low self worth and therefore allowed men to treat me badly. But now have self worth. If he does't want me, like me, that his view, and there is nothing wrong with me. I do believe attracting the right men and good attitudes, is about self worth.
I'm in England, UK. Thanks for reaching out.
Outstanding. I feel really comfortable about me. The other not ready or confused, conflicted as you say.
this video single handedly relieved me of soooo much stress. thank u
Thank you so much Susan🙏❤️ This was so straightforward and so necessary for me to hear! ❤️
Susan...you're definitely of the light.
Thank you for validating that it's not me...its that this person is not at my level ready. Just move on to the next one!
Best video ever in helping me to move forward from rejection. Thank you 🙏
Oh my god this is exactly what I needed to see. I feel so much better.
Great video as always Susan, all the best to you 🍓
This video is literally GOLD. Wow. Thank you SO much!
Wise words as always Susan 🙌
Thank you. Clear yet heartwarming advice.
Thank God you exist Susan!
I want to hear more videos from you on rejection! Such a healthy perspective
Great answer and explanation. Pure gold
What a fantastic video. Thank you so much, Susan!
That's so Great. Thank you, you are saving lives
This is SO good, Susan. Thank you!
The video that I have needed to see!!! I see much more clearly now.
Needed this today so much.. Thank you and love you Susan.
Great advice. This message got me going today. Thank you Susan!
That was so relevant and informative for me. Thank you so much 💛
You are on fire Susan! This video is great. Thanks for being so awesome. xx
Thanks Sandy.
Min 4:33 -5:15 just blew my mind. Thank you for you life changing, smart, deep loving words. You did my day ❤️🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻❤️
Beautiful words, such wisdom, so helpful
Thanks 😀
Thank you so much Susan! You just completely changed my mentality
That is such good advice... Definitely hits home after a recent breakup 💔!
Thank you Susan, for sharing all your work and insight! xoxo
Great video, thanks Susan.
So true, Susan - you're amazing!!!
Thank you. This video explains so much. It’s helped me find myself
Thank you for your words Susan ❤️
I'm so glad I found your channel, you're helping me so much. Thank you x
Thank you so much for your talks they always leave me smiling and feeling uplifted x
Nina Curran,You got a lovely smile 😊
perfect timing thank you!!
Another great video, thank you!
But there's rejection and then there's REJECTION. Took me 3 years of counseling and reflection to get over my divorce. Your videos are the final tweak I've been needing! 😊
sunclover,You are beautiful 🌷🌷,you only need a good man in your life!
Thank you for the amazing professional advice 👍🏻
Thank you, Susan❤️
When I hear your words, I think, it's so easy. The idea of failing is only in our mind, because we are surching for something, where we can't get it.
I learned a lot about looking at situations in that way, you describe, by working with nonviolant communication/Marshall B. Rosenberg.
It was so good to hear your video today, it remebered me, but it's not easy. I'm in a friendship with a man, but I would like to have a relationship with him.
He told me a year ago that he doesn't want this.
I am asking myself now why did I choose him?
Thanks so much, Susan!
Margret
That was so wise! Loved this! ❤️🥰
By the way, I commented just *before* you said that your viewers are intelligent and amazing. Thanks for complimenting me before you got to know me.
I liked it before even watching... Such an important topic thanks Susan ❤
Micheline Azar I did, too!!!!! :-)
Thanks Micheline!
great message
Great advice for any rejection
You are so right, Susan Winter, Ever word you said Is the truth, Like no one can tell
Us our worth,and I mean no one,but GOD and this trying to get in to people's mind you can not do that either, and be sides, I was the one
That Reject him, he didn't
Reject me, I'm the one that
Walked away, our lifestyles
Didn't match at all, I'm over
Him, he's in my passed where he will stay, but I will
Make my own mind up who
I date and who I will not date,
I'm happy now, and my lift
Will go on, Thank you Susan
Keep the good going,
The choice you make really matters !!!
4:33 Thank you for this! I needed it.
Thank you! I really needed to hear this.
This is awesome 👏 info
Brings great clarity
Thank you 😊
Amazing message.. thank you
Thank you. Hurting, and this helps a lot.
Thank you susan i needed to hear that
Great video thank you for sharing your wisdom
You are really helping me. Thank you ! I appreciate you!
Love your videos!!!
Susan this was fantastic advice!!!!
I find your videos really helpful and reassuring
You’re brilliant! Thank you 🙏