Okay so as a French person, I disagree with most things that were said in this video. If my boyfriend/husband commented on the way I clean up the house or the way I dress, that would be totally inappropriate. It would also be inappropriate for my mother in law to comment about my weight. And while it is true we don't celebrate graduations very much, a little "congrats" wouldn't have hurt.
Sorry but most of the things you say aren't cultural at all . Just your boyfriends aren't really considerate towards you .. I'm french so obviously I dated a lot of French boys but Scots, Finns, Swiss, Koreans etc as well. And I still don't think it has anything to do with your origin . Some are assholes or impolite , some are not , period . :)
To me, there is still something cultural in her observations. We live in the land of gallantry and love, and women here enjoys an extremely idealized glamorous image. I interpret these small criticisms from men as a way of bringing them down to earth in some way, and of overcoming the idealization that prevents the authentic relationship between two beings. It can also be a strategy for the man to show the woman that she must not take him for granted, and that she must continue to make efforts to please him. I was on a pretty popular TH-cam channel about seduction, and the TH-camr responded to one of my comments by saying that a man should "avoid complimenting" a woman she's trying to seduce. However, it depends on the degree of criticism and how that criticism is formulated.
I think a lot of foreign guys from all over take advantage of the typical American girls that are swooned over an accent. Ladies! Stick to your expectations!
Cheap boyfriends! And on top of that, they have no respect for them! I have NEVER had to deal with ANY of my boyfriend's exes?? Wtf? They didn't "teach" you the good way, girl! I'm French, sorry if my English is bad, I was looking for an expression that means "teach you how to be respected". Don't get me wrong! You shouldn't have to see your boyfriend's exes! Not if it bothers you...You're free and you should show / tell him! If he wants to force his ex on you, run!! That's what I'd do! This is only MY opinion...For what it's worth 🙄
I lived right outside of Paris for a few months and had a French boyfriend at the time. He, too, was very direct with his opinions, but I didn't find any other French people like that. Well, except for his mother. However he gave me his opinions when I didn't ask for them, and they were never positive. It was always something like "are you really gonna wear that skirt?" or "it would be great if you would like to tone up your butt and thigh area" or on my last day in France, I had had really bad luck with atms so we'd been all around Paris trying to find one that worked and when we waited he said, out of the blue, "I'm only doing this for you because it's your last day". I don't think these are naturally French things, I just think he was an asshole.
yes, he was. No doubt about this. I wonder if they are more assholes in france though (I'm a french man, and I would'nt even think of saying the stuff they are talking about , the clothes, the cleaning, the quiche!) . I tend to think that maybe there is a certain cultural form of misogyny in France.
@@ricolebarbareful idem , je fais la bouffe parceque j'aime avoir le pouvoir là dessus, personne ne la fait bien comme j'aime :p mais surtout , les autres la font pas comme j'aime et trop lentement , ça me rend dingue. Bref je suis un chieur, quoi qu'il en soit, jamais , jamais ,jamais , je ne me permettrais de dénigrer un plat fait avec amour par ma moitié.
Are you guys serious? I am french and so is my bf and my exes. I always went to nice restaurants and had gift for valentine's day for example my boyfriend flew me to the canarie island for our first Valentine's day together. My bf always do big romantic gesture he litteraly still celebrates monthly anniversary with me (we are 4 years into this relationship)... Your boyfriends take advantage of you knowing they can blame it on the culture. The "are you going to wear that to work" 😂😂 Any french women I know would have given him a mental slap. This is very rude. Not cultural. 70% of what you said is absolutely not my experience with french men...
This is very good to know. I have recently started dating a French man but he has lived in the states for quite some time, so I not sure exactly how much to expect from the list. If he ever said I can see you still have some trouble cleaning etc- he would be in for a reckoning with God after I cleaned the whole house. Lol
@@symoneontheinternet they weren't. It's all relative. I think for example, dishonesty is way worse than appearing to be direct. Here in the US, you just shut it, the whole emperor's new clothes is getting us nowhere really, no one ever knows what the others are thinking, it's all very fake.
I'm French, and my boyfriend took me to wonderful restaurants. He washes our apartment every week, alone ! He never criticized my physical appearance.. even when I ask ! He just loves me without make-up in a beautiful dress. No problem with "exes" : Confidence is the key of a relationship ! You just didn't pick the right guys. I disagree with most things that were said in this video. If my boyfriend/husband commented on the way I clean up the house or the way I dress, that would be totally inappropriate.
Maybe you misunderstood some of the parts.. Because they re saying almost the same thing you re saying. As a french guy who lived in the US Know they re right. Tu réagirai comment si ton mec parisien te proposait pizza hut ou mac do pour la saint Valentin ? Pareil, les hommes français oui on a des avis sur la mode. Après il faut le faire avec tact. Pareii pour le sur maquillage
Interesting point of view, as a french man, i think that some of the men's comentary you are talking about are rude and inapropriate. The cultural argument don't excuse these comportements. Like when he says that you can keep this cloth but not the others. Or bein too honest and hurting. It's not normal. It's not because they're french. Those behaviours must be stoped and you can protest and contest them. Please do it :) so it's my opinion and you are free to disagree ^^ just wanted to share my thouhts with you. Bonne continuation :)
math peter: Salut 1 year after: Don't you think the men's comments may be somewhat expressing emotional affect by the american women's loudness, american lack of feeling, refinement, style which may hurt a cultural sensitive French man? I think their way of saying things were polite enough: "You have a tendency to... " And stripes of detergent is not so nice to look at, and he may not have realized that she worked that hard and had actually cleaned the whole home. If he had other things on his mind, he may not notice, I wouldn't. We didn't get to know the details, and I think these women seem just as narcissistic and less mature as some accuse the husbands to behave as. I am grateful when MY mum notices and comments on changes in my looks and health, it feels secure and helps me see myself from outside. hese couples might work at constructive communication of feelings, but I like a man who cares and has some opinions about the wife etc. My boyfriend in Champagne reacted against my military boots and wanted me to wear sth feminine as he took me out with his friends. I was travelling with a rucksack and could not carry too many sets of clothes. I found his feeling normal. The only thing i have against him is that he probably lied about his age. maybe afraid to put me off. I should have fitted better with one of his younger friends, but was taken in by his groundedness, maturity, manly certainty and self-confidence. Young and thoughtless, traumatized and inexperienced.
Happily married to a Frenchman for 6 years. He is completely the opposite to what you two describe. He is very romantic and most important, he is respectful. His mother and the rest of his family are polite and never said anything inappropriate to me. You are in sad relationships. This behavior is not cultural. They are just jerks.
Really funny and damn right ! As a french women, I see it from an other perspective that might explain a lot. 1. We have indeed the tendancy to appriciate "authentic" people and that might make us rude. We "try" to make prevail honesty (that include: no small talk with strangers to pretend that we do care, light makeup or you can be considered as a ... or have a lack of taste, something to hide and so on), respect (that means for instance not making too much noise in a restaurant e.g. typical US tourist :p *love you guys*), etc. 2. In more details, halloween and valentine's day are considered as they propably are: some commercial US new celebrations. Of course, the valentine's day seems more appriciate by french women than french men ! 3. We rarely celebrate graduation except if the graduate dude organises himself the party or... if he graduates from a prestigious institution/school. Otherwise, it's pretty commun for french to think that we must have a high degree, it's not a big deal. Most of the time, studies are paid by the goverment. It needs a little less commidment somehow... i mean: no need to work aside to pay your studies ;). 4. In general strangers are so ... excited about everything all the time ! That's like little girls with sparcling in there eyes. Really cute (from my point of view) !! But it seems cultural, not really natural for us (are we depressed :x?). 5. Finally, we have the inverse problem of yours. It's really hard emotionnally for us if we don't pay attention to that cultural differencies... Why ? Because when we meet a super sweet and nice stranger, speak a lot and spend some time ... we may think that he became our friend ! In reality, he is just nice with everyone and you mean nothing at all to him (was he hypocrite ?). If you think of him as a friend you'd do anything for him. But when you realise the gap between you, damn, it hurts. Specially when we live abroad, it's hard to make real good friends... I hope this glimpse of what we think and feel helps understand us a little better ;) Btw, I love your videos !
60% ça doit inclure ceux qui travaillent l'été, du coup c'est réaliste. Après y a des écoles/facs où tu vas trouver peu d'étudiants qui travaillent (souvent des trucs un peu prestigieux).
Sophie Lasfargeas , I so agree with the friendship part ! Sometimes you think you have a meaningful connection with a foreigner stranger, but he/she 's just acting overly nice all the time. I first thought that American/Canadian were fake people, but realized later that's their own way of being polite.
K K je n'ai connu que deux personnes qui travaillent pendant leurs études supérieures. Ça dépend aussi du temps libre si ce n'est pas du travail "alimentaire" mais plus pour de l'argent de poche. Dans mon école on avait peu le temps d'avoir un boulot à côté... 60% me paraît très exagéré
@@coridevine6351 It s a different perspective, that s all! But even for French, if you don't celebrate graduation... it's hard and a little bit insensitive yes ! And a few number of us likes to write and love poésie. But the majority dont practice poésie it's right ! So, there were French guys but not typical French guys, that s the point :)
Bravo les filles ! Vous avez plutôt bien mis le doigt sur les différences culturelles entre les anglo-saxons (je généralise, c'est plus simple) et les français. Je vis en Australie depuis 2 ans et la surexpression des sentiments et des émotions par les australiens me choque toujours autant. "OMG, that's amAAAzing!" Je trouve ce genre d'attitude superficielle voire forcée, même si je sais que ça ne l'est pas pour les anglo-saxons. Les français sont beaucoup plus pudiques concernants leurs émotions et leurs sentiments et de ce fait ils les expriment beaucoup moins. Le fait que les australiens ne soient pas directs me manque aussi parfois. C'est sympa au quotidien car moins "agressif", mais au final on ne sait jamais vraiment ce qu'ils pensent. Ils peuvent te dire que ta robe est magnifique juste pour être gentil alors qu'ils ne le pensent pas du tout, alors qu'un français n'aurait juste rien dit ou si tu lui demandes : "non j'aime pas du tout", "ça ne te met pas du tout en valeur". Ca ne fait pas forcément plaisir sur le coup mais au moins c'est sincère. Tout comme si un français dit qu'il aime quelque chose, il aime vraiment. Il ne fait pas semblant juste pour être poli (ça peut arriver mais ce n'est pas la mentalité de base). Pour ce qui est des célébrations : la Saint Valentin, c'est commercial !!! L'amour se prouve au quotidien, pas seulement le 14 février ! Et là on retrouve une grosse caractéristique de la culture anglo-saxonne hyper-consommatrice. Les français ne sont globalement pas (encore) hyper-consommateurs donc ce genre de fête a beaucoup moins d'impact en France. Tout comme Halloween...On fête en famille ou avec les amis très proches les évènements importants. On en revient à la pudeur des émotions des français qui va à l'encontre de l'hyper-expression des anglo-saxons (d'un point de vue français évidemment). Ce que je trouve marrant aussi, c'est que les anglo-saxons vont beaucoup plus facilement être dans le compliment, le rapport sympa à l'autre, mais ça reste très superficiel. Il est très difficile d'entrer dans une vraie conversation intime et profonde et de "copiner" avec les anglo-saxons. Ils vont être super sympa et agréables quand tu les rencontres, mais ça s'arrête là. Il n'y a rien derrière. Le français va être moins expressif de prime abord mais il va plus facilement s'ouvrir et lier une amitié. Pour ce qui est de l'esthétique... Grand débat ! D'un regard français, les 3 cm de fond de teint sur le visage, les sourcils ultra dessinés, les faux cils et les faux ongles colorés, ça fait très superficiel et c'est pas classe du tout... Les françaises savent s'apprêter tout en restant naturelles. Au moins il n'y a pas de mauvaise surprise au réveil ! Je pense que c'est lié à notre rapport beaucoup plus proche avec la nature en France. On attache beaucoup moins d'importance au paraître, mais aussi à ce que les autres pensent de nous. Concernant les ex, c'est très personne dépendant. Beaucoup de personnes qui se sont séparées ne restent pas du tout en contact en France... Le fait que l'on reste ami avec nos ex est loin d'être une généralité. Ca dépend juste des situations et des personnes. Tout ça pour dire que oui, bien que les pays anglo-saxons et la France soient des pays économiquement équivalents, il existe de grandes différences culturelles, qui ne se voient pas de prime abord, mais qui sont profondément ancrées en nous. Il n'y a pas un pays meilleur que l'autre, c'est juste différent. Il y a du bon et du mauvais des deux côtés ! ;-)
La meilleure explication sur les différences qui nous caractérisent entre Français et Anglo-saxons. Il y'a 20 ans déjà lorsque je vivais aux usa, j'avais été particulièrement été déçu de ce pays à cause de cet état d'esprit Américain. Tout est faux, tout est dans le paraitre, ils se fichent du fond tout ce qui compte c'est la forme, ce phénomène est palpable dans tous les domaines de la société américaine, politique, relations sociales et familiales et même au boulot. Paradoxalement c'est leur exubérance systématique pour tout qui renforce ce sentiment. Même si je dois reconnaitre que les relations avec un Français peuvent être compliquées, elles sont le mérite d'être franches et la plupart du temps sincères. nous nous fichons plus des conventions et des détails, peu importe d'offrir des chocolats pour la St-valentin si les 364 jours suivant on se fout de sa femme ou qu'on va rejoindre sa maitresse... Par ailleurs si le Français est sincère mais dur, il est aussi moins rancunier que beaucoup d'autre nationalités. Des Français peuvent se pourrir autours d'un repas de famille et se reparler quelques temps plus tard comme si rien ne c'était passé. Cela ajouté au fait que les Français ne sont pas aussi puritains sur la nudité fait que certains Français puissent garder contact avec un ou une ex.
Oui c'est tout à fait mon sentiment. Ça me rappelle la première vidéo, dans laquelle elle disait que les français sont des noix de coco, durs et distants de prime abord mais au top une fois la barrière passées ☺☺☺
Autant j'étais pas forcement d'accord avec un certains nombre de commentaires autant le tiens est particulièrement pertinent je trouve ! Et j'ai les mêmes opinions sur les points à débat. Rien que les sourcils, c'est tellement un no go pour moi, quand je vois une fille qui possède ces sourcils, exactement les mêmes, la même forme que la fille trois mètres plus loin, on dirait un peu un clan ou une secte, dont le signe distinctif c'est tout le monde les mêmes sourcils ! ^^
C'est ça ! J'ai cliqué sur la vidéo en mode "c'est bon je me fais une petite vidéo putaclique" et en fait je les ai trouvées très juste sur leur analyse, si bien que je m'y suis retrouvée en tant que Française. Après, en vivant à l'étranger, ce qui m'a vraiment sauté aux yeux et dont elles ne parlent pas (mais je n'ai pas encore vu la seconde vidéo) c'est la façon dont les Français aiment débattre de tout et de rien ! C'est terrible, il suffit à l'étranger qu'il y ait deux Français à la même soirée et ils sont capables de débattre de la couleur du mur tellement ils sont en manque de ce type d'échanges ! ahah
I'm french and moving abroad has lightened my mood, cut my arrogance and sneeky comments from 100% to 0.1% still trying harder. Sooo much more positivity about every day little things...
As a French girl I had the opposite experiences! French men are romantic and usually are very sweet and won't say what they think but will tell you compliments... I don't get how both of you could have so negative experiences with French guys
Tout les filles que j'ai connue on à un moment critiquées mes fringues, je les ai jamais considéré comme conne pour autant!! Parfois les critiques sont constructives et aide à faire avancer.
Hi, I'm french and I find yours guys particulary rude. I can't beleive it when I see how pretty you are. If I was your boyfriend I will be so romantic and do anything to keep pretty girls like you. In anycase my behaviour is not like you say, don't do a generality, or change guys they don't deserve you. Frenchies are not definetely like that, whe have a reputation to defender. Sorry for the mistakes
I'm an American living in France and I really enjoy that my French boyfriend is upfront with me. It makes the compliments more authentic even. To me, doing my makeup is just fun it's not for appearances as much as it is a ritual if that makes sense? He was completely willing to help me throw a little thanksgiving dinner and he knows that certain things are just important to my culture.
Why would you stop celebrating the special moments in your life because of the particular preferences of one man...? Who cares whether he celebrates the occasion or not? Carry on! It sounds like the pair of you have made A LOT of sacrifices for your french bfs. Both of your bfs sound like uber dominant types and I would suggest wrestling back some measure of control/balance in the relationship before it's too late. To me honest, you both sound a bit ridiculous...It's not the 1950's ;-)
If you pay attention to what was said, they were never prevented from doing anything. They were given feedback they could choose to ignore or they were expecting their bfs to behave like they would in their culture. Well that's not going to happen. You want to celebrate every little thing: go ahead. But don't force others to follow.
cid2mizar However, if your so really enjoys celebrating and you care about them, I think you would make some comprimises and celebrate on a few occasions just because that’s gonna make them happy and if you love someone, you want them to be happy, right? Obviously I’m not talking about celebrating every single little thing or doing extreme or expensive gestures, just showing your partner that you give a fuck about what they enjoy
1. French guys are generally romantic. (if not, change) 2. Pizza hut, really for Valentines Day ? 3. If your bf doesn't like what YOU like about yourself, he's a douch 4. We celebrate quite every week end, just to see friends and get drunk, that's why we don't celebrate as you do, because we do it all time, everything is an occasion to celebrate. 5. France is magic (not sure about this one) xx
Hugo Lmr no, French men are not romantic haha. We wish they were but that's just something chick flicks sold us. The pizza hut thing is a douchy move though...
Alors en tant que française, soit le mec n'est absolument pas romantique, soit beaucoup trop. La plupart des temps c'est aussi une question de génération.
Hugo Lmr "getting drunk" les weekends est une importation de la culture anglo-saxone que les millenials française pratiquent aujourd'hui , ma génération ne se bourrait la gueule que rarement (nouvel an, marriages, 'grosses' soirées), on buvait le soir et les w/e mais pas dans le but systématique de "get drunk".
apparently you're just dating jerks...that has nothing to do with the fact that they're french or not aha ;) My boyfriend (he is french) always accept me, whatever how much makeup I have on my face. Sometimes I wear a lot of makeup because I really like it and he compliments me about it, and when I don't wear any make up he says i'm as beautiful as usual. I'm always beautiful to him actually. :) Some staff are true, like we don't celebrate, or the fact that we say what we think, but in a couple relationship some men try to take care of the way they talk. For example I made a diner last week. I'm a very bad cooker, and the diner was really disgusting, even I, I didn't want to eat it. But he was trying to say nice things about the cheese, the dessert etc... lol And I'm really estonished about the behaviour of your men when you show your new cloths. They are really mean!
Wow you call their bfs jerks because they speak their mind to them instead of not caring enough to share their opinions? You are the one who sounds like a jerk here, to be fair.
I couldn't at all begin to imagine saying that my wife wore too much make-up and dressed like a 'tart.' And I'm very free with my wife and she values my opinion and I'm kind of a metrosexual. If I thought it was excessive, I'd probably expect my best female friend to have that conversation. It sounds like he is not surrounded by proper support in the friendship department. So, she's definitely dating a beta male. What kind of guy scolds a woman on make-up???
As a Frenchman, I think you both are pretty accurate, maybe except for the St Valentin day. This is THE day of the year when you HAVE to show you care for your gf / wife. So it's a nice gift, a fine dining, or a nice activity to do together (a spa session, a romantic week end..). But a Pizzat Hut? Girl, you need to make a point here with your husband. Be direct just like he is, and tell him about your frustration. Be more French :)
I disagree that Valentine's Day is THE day to show you care. You should care EVERY day some way or another. Regarding celebration Valentine's Day like many other holly days have become something very commercial and some people prefer other ways of celebrating that are more genuine and personal. The meeting or marriage anniversary are this kind of special occasion that has more meaning. But I agree that if you decide to celebrate, Pizza Hut is a big No (unless your first encounter was there and it has a special meaning to you). Please at least choose a true restaurant.
Disagree, Valentine's Day is THE day you do nothing special because you're supposed to be special everyday. Stay creative, that's healthy for your brain and for your relationship.
S. Calabrese I understood it's where SHE loves to go out to eat but he doesn't, so it is a special thing TO HER. But I'm not native English (nor French) speaker... and lazy to rewatch so I maybe got that wrong?
St Valentin day is just some over-consummer bullshit anyway. If you really love someone, you don't need to prove it with dinning or buying gifts and shit on St. V.
Wow, they sound a bit controlling. I’d be having serious words with my partner if he told me what to wear and criticised my cooking, make-up or how I cleaned the house!
Sarah M How its narcisistic to tell someone what you really think ??? Its just being honest lol are you serious ??? Im chocked that its really a bad thing for you seriously. If my girlfriend tell me she dont like the clothes i bought its ok because i hate hypocrite. Its not mean to being honest lol, same with make up if i dont like it i dont like it what you want me to do ? Because you will shut your mouth for 10years one day your girl/boyfriend will leave or you will leave just because of bad communication. My girlfriend is like my coach or my supporter, so she will tell me everything she think would make me a better man and same for me, its just love, its attention, honesty, realness. If we are at the gym and she tell me oh you should work on your thight i will love it because its a proof she care for me, its a proof she give a fuck about me. Its not negative if i say you could do better, its wanting the best for your partner ! Im schoked really, yall american are sensitive as fuck lol.
As a French woman, it's quite interesting to see a foreigner's point of view on French culture and habits of living. I just want to react on the last thing you girls said about exes. I guess it really depends on the type of person cause not every French man has his exes hanging around. In fact most people don't keep in touch with their exes unless they've had kids with them. Personally I've never met any of my boyfriend's exes, and there's no way on Earth I'd be okay with him staying friends with an ex.
From what you said, it sounds like your men are from Paris or nearby. Comparing all Parisian men to all French men is like comparing New Yorkers to all American men! Not really accurate, IMHO.
The issue with French men being too direct and not considerate of feelings may be part of French culture, but I think this may not particular to just the French. When I was young, I always prided myself in speaking honestly and directly. I never thought about how hurtful this could be. It wasn’t until after my divorce that I grew to reconsider my approach. I believe that men who behave this way may simply be young and immature. There are two things to consider when talking to someone. One is honesty, but the other is to convey your message with consideration of the other person’s feelings. When weighing these factors, not saying anything may be the best thing to do. Honesty should not trump the other person’s feelings. There are times when raw honesty is needed, but we still need to be careful.
I just learned that the French word franchement is where the English word frankly comes from, so it’s no wonder how the French way of speaking to each other has become a matter of cultural identity.
Hear, hear! Well said! I agree 100% - I think a lot of people who pride themselves on being and bustle at the idea of people being offended by their words are often young and don't take the time to consider feelings of anyone but themselves, or sometimes, don't value the feelings of others.
ladies, as a french woman, I can say that yes, we don't like holding big parties, I celebrated my own diplomas eating an ice cream or drinking a coffee with friends, an nothing more, because for us, it's not a big deal, just a step towards the next year of studies or the search for a job. I don't celebrate Chritmas nor saints because I'm an atheist ( and we're numerous in France) so it's not part of my familial culture. Some people do, it's really up to the individuals actually. Yes we are direct, because we tend to think that if someone ask for our opinion, he or she wants our opinion. So better be prepared to hear the truth and not a polite lie. But we act the same with our french friends, it's not only towards foreigners. BUT, for the man who says "ho you cleaned it's cool, but its poorly done" thats not something we will all say. For many french people, this cross the border between being frank and plain rudeness. Be assured that no matter his nationality, my answer to that will be something between "well, since you're such an expert at it,I promise not to get in your way anymore, I'll gladly let you do it for the rest of your life" or "say one more word and my foot will quickly get in touch with your buttocks" depending on my mood. Sorry that you had to hear something like this, we're not all rude like this 😓
Purple Velvet: De l'autre côté, elle semble trouver qu' avoir fait le ménage c' est "big deal". Attendre des compliments pour ça ? Être excitée d' avoir fait une chose et attendre un feedback ( positif), ça m' arrive lorsque je fais une chose très rarement. Et je souhaite que ce soit remarqué. Sinon...faire un plat pour tout, je ne sais pas (?). "Oh...dans dix jours ça va être ma fête !" Wow ! On se calme 😂
Wow, this was sure educational. I appreciate the effort you ladies made & the comments your listeners took the time to write. I learn a lot from them as well. My impression of French men ( from movie’s, books, TV etc) being an American , was totally wrong. So thankful I never had an opportunity to be attracted to one; I would have had my feelings hurt every day. Many people, especially in the southern states were raised with the saying “ if you have nothing good to say, then say nothing at all”. I try very hard to think positively of others. If I can truthfully find something complementary to say;I will, even to a stranger on the street. It will be heartfelt & not “ fake” as your French listener’s seem to think. I have never lived in another country & I am blown away on how different our cultures are. I can see how many misunderstandings could occur. Thanks for the lesson.
Some of those points really make it seems like they're assholes rather than French habits, because telling your gf how she should or shouldn't dress or how she handled cleaning is definitely not cool. The makeup point is rather true tho
I am french and I also lived abroad (London, Germany Switzerland Morocco etc..) and I totally disagree with what you are saying. When I lived in London with my English boyfriend he never celebrated my birthday or st valentine or Easter etc so I always was crying because I was thinking he did not love me but I realised his friends and family was similar and they treated me as a sensitive and romantic french woman ..So I disagree with what you are saying about french guys as they are much more romantic than English, Irish, German men. Please don't say things about french which are not true as I could do the same with other nationalities. Just admit and understand that it was YOUR own experiences and not all french are like what you describe. I am french and I can tell you that I was unhappy with foreigners because they never celebrated special days or occasions.
The problem is not marriage but the problem is the person you married. Many people miss this point. Marriage is good and if you invest in it, you will love it, so is not marriage that is bad, we have to get that straight, even if we get to meet 65 cows in marriage but it does not redefine marriage as a bad thing, but is the people who we meet that makes the atmosphere in it bad. The devil hates marriage, so if we do not discern and be very careful we will think that we got the it but it will be a bad chapter for us. Many woman just jump into marriage without actually discerning the guy, or really questioning if the guy has all the right qualities to be a good husband or not, mind you I don't talk about money, or status in life. Many ladies marry based on wrong things and some they just be charmed by things that does not say that the guy is a good husband material, then they end up with a monster at home. A guy who does not really have a good matured relationship with God will never love you like Christ loves the Church. It takes a praying man to build a warm home with you, not a preacher. Hi, I am single from India🇳🇪and looking for a seriously relationship Even when I was far away from You or close by signed because every my words writting by me and its now unbreakable the commitmented who will be never break In Jesus name. Its my phone number and email address +919634412325 richardelias89@yahoo.in
I'm French and dating a French. He doesn't care about my clothes or looks as long as I feel good, appreciates efforts even if he'll give direct feedback and we do celebrate every month/year anniversary and Valentine's day... Some guys are real angels too ❤️
Hey, I know this isn't the same because I live in Spain and my hubby is Spanish and I'm American, but I think that life is hard when you are a foreigner and your partner should be willing to go the extra mile to be understanding of you and make you feel that you matter. My husband makes me feel supported and loved. People here claim to be rude too but I don't let them walk all over me and say whatever they want about weight, my clothes, my people etc.. Your point of view matters too, and just because the people around you are all doing something doesn't make it right. If anything it's a valuable opportunity to teach them! I'm not willing to swallow my feelings just because I'm living in another culture and things are different and I don't recommend that anyone do it either, especially with such personal topics!
about the quiche, french men tend to think (and say sometime) "If you don't like the answer, don't ask the question". When my ex girl friend asked me if she became fat since we where together, she didn't like my answer :-)
I'm a French woman and think the same :) You still have the "that's not WHAT you said but HOW you said it" reply ... Sure, you wouldn't say anything if you didn't care but you can still be nice about it, or at least not as rude (because it felt rude to me) as "you got fat, you should eat soups"... As far as I'm concerned, if I get this kind of reply I won't be shy either, it's only fair.
You are right, and being honest is actually a way to show that you care. The answer is not always negative neither and when it's a positive feedback you know the person means it. When I ask my mom or my friends what they think of the clothes that I'm about to buy I'm actually happy when they say "don't bother, it doesn't suit you so well! You should go for the other one you tried before" instead of "wow looks fab honey!" and don't think a word of it! ;)
Seems like even without any question, some men always have some negative precisions to give. For free ! A sign of incredible generosity, indeed :) (at least, generous in one way)
Oops, your guys unfortunately don't represent guys in general here in France. They just sound a bit mean, you can't blame those flaws on their nationality because they aren't all like this, BY FAR
Samuel Louvet , ça peut aussi être le plat qui retient trop l'humidité. Ou parfois aussi si on ne la retire pas d'un plat, le fond devient tout mou. Bises.
Ou bien qu'elle a mis trop de lait/crème par rapport aux œufs. Nous on mesure naturellement, à l'œil, à force d'avoir vu nos parents les faire ; pour une étrangère le pif-au-mètre est nécessairement plus difficile...
Hi ! I must say that not everybody is comfortable with staying in touch with his/her ex-boyfriend/girlfriend. I'm a french guy and I couldn't be with a girl who is still in touch with her exes, for the reasons you said, like in my romantic state of mind, if two people got together, they just can't go back to nothingness or any kind of healthy friendship. And that kind of messing with exes sometimes hides secret sexual affaire and/or leads to getting together again when the official relationship breaks down. Well, just to say that this is not the same with every french guy ! and by the way, I liked this video ! really interesting !
I agree with you! I'm American, and it is not common here. Once you have been intimate with someone, it is hard to be "just friends". Jealousy would be a big problem. It may be OK if you live long distance. But if you are in a new relationship and you still hang out with exes, no! You have moved on. But how do you know the other person doesn't still have feelings? That's why for me.....if it's over, that's it!
I don’t trust in ex’s who want to be just friends. There are feelings still intact and there is always a motive behind not letting go. Unless the man has a kid with the woman that is obviously the exception, but limited contact and communication for the child only.
Being French and now living abroad and dating foreigners I got to realise that all of the above are true. I definitely got in trouble for forgetting 6-month anniversaries, I got in trouble for giving direct feedback to my friends, I got in trouble for basically everything you said.
Pizza Hut pour la Saint Valentin, il est radin. Au minimum un vrai restaurant (pas une chaine) avec un décor agréable, un cadeau est fortement recommandé.
As a French woman, this video and the comments alike just inspires me with : " Yeah, typical French machismo and assholism in general. ( and female obsession with being thin- kind of low scale anorexy, depriving yourself from food every day because being thin is compulsory, and preaching how natural all that is) I think French men are unfortunately often just not very respectful of what their wives and girlfriends feel , and like to impose their views and expect women to conform to what they think. Latin culture basiccally. I understand that for Anglo-saxon women, it might be shocking. Well actually it is. Not all French men are that way however. I know of a few who are not , and they wouldn't tell you that kind of behaviour is normal. But you have to find them , not that easy. In conclusion, to me it just shows how women are still just second -grade citizens in France, the subservience that's expected in public life , the lack of equality in terms of wages etc, is mirrored in the private life. Or the other way round. You can still find yourself at a party with friends, and the ones cooking and serving the food are still women, while the men remain seated the whole time and get on chatting pretending not to see the plates have to be changed... Still a long way to go...
"les hommes ne sont pas assez..." "Les hommes sont trop..." Par contre les femmes sont toujours parfaites c'est incroyable. Vous êtes tellement parfaites que vous ne vous remettez jamais en question. "Citoyens de seconde zone" HAHAHAHA . Jerry. Quand vous êtes payées moins cher que les hommes c'est un crime par contre quand la majorité des SDF sont des hommes la c'est tout à fait normal. Hehehe merci pour cette tranche de rigolade, ça me fascine toujours autant de voir que les femmes se considèrent comme la perfection à la surface de la terre.
Curieux de se plaindre de ses amis et de ses relations alors qu'on les choisis :) Si ma copine ou mes amis filles se sentaient dénigrer d'une quelconque manière avec moi j'ose espérer qu'elle se casserait rapidos. Faut choisir ses fréquentations les gars
Hello, I'm French, and I find your first boy friend rude for not celebrating your success. When my wife did get her exams, I was there for the ceremony so we could celebrate together. So that kind of behaviour is not "all french guys like". About Valentine's day...some celebrate it...lots find it a bit commercial and don't even care about it : that's my case, my wife knows and agrees with me. About the comment after you did some cleaning...well you just have a husband who is very careful about that very point. When my wife just tidy the house, I'm already glad and I don't care that the windows are not perfectly clean ;) About make up : completely agree although I can't say it's general in France. I know a lot of guys who will love girls with make up. I don't. About fashion, well, can't say : I hate fashion and I just don't care about it. If you look good, that's perfect ;) Good video overall ;)
On point for Direct Feedback. I just told my guy this morning I’ll go out for a run and he told me “I wasn’t asking for your time. Enjoy it.” I was hurt until I saw this. Thanks for sharing guys.
Not Even French why foud the exception i am French and for me i was shocked by your point of view Just 90% of video i says wtf why make 3-4 French like the exemple of all French guys i love Valentine's Day i always make my Best etc but the problem it's when man like me live why they good rules are romantic we are fucked hard and we suffer by they French girl etc so we are not expansive i can say hide compare to they other men Who are not like i have says before or we found à girl and we don't let her go away and want to finish live With her or Just the other way our population of good men and romantic decrease because a lot of men when we see stats prefer the suicid because a relationship was end etc.. 😢 we are here romantic French but we suffer in the shadow... and sure i hate makeup etc natural is the Best nothing else is better sorry for my english i think now your eyes bleed sorry
the english people is very jalous them france , and the englishman et tres alcoolique .. pas de lecons a recevoir des anglais .. dans n importe quel domaine d ailleurs
After spending years with someone the physical attraction might be gone but not the friendship so why not stay friends , unless you are unsure of yourself or your relation you shouldn't have any problems.
OH LA LA !!! vous faites un amalgames de vos rencontres les filles !! sans vouloir être disgracieux, tous les Français ne sont pas comme ceux que vous avez décrit !! Heureusement !!! Je ne me reconnais pas dans votre description....Pas de saint valentin ou partir à Pizza Hut...MDR !!! vous êtes tombés sur des fainéants de la fêtes...Bref, je vous souhaite le meilleur pour la suite mais vous devriez éviter de généraliser vos témoignages... A+
I think you guys were too much into the cliché. As a French who's live both in mainland France (Paris, Lille...) and in the Caribbean, this ultra romantic cliché is false. I mean there's romance but not more or less than in other cultures. Also, that notion that French girls are always well dressed up LOL. I mean most tourists will tend to go to Paris and would tend to stay in the centre -; and depending on where you go, yes you'd see some nicely dressed girls... and moving away from there, most girls are quite simply dressed in general. Yes most French guys aren't into girls being overdressed and baked up in make up. It gives the impression of someone being full of herself and to be honest it's just quite weird here. I personally think that this comes from Paris vs. the rest of France. Paris has given an image to the country that not many people share (fashion, lifestyle...) and factually, from my experience, a lot of French people are just not conceiving themselves in the cliché Parisian mold that France is known for. In the north of France for example, most girls will wear jeans and normal clothes casually. Some would still put heels obviously and other feminine stuffs but it never really "over the top" like certain girls I've seen in Paris chic areas. Don't forget that France cut the heads of kings and queens in the past (for instance in the French revolution in 1759) and has had quite a hard time reconsidering the opulence of royalty and the heritage that comes with it. It's also true we are extremely direct in our relationships with other people. We don't really like to turn around the pot. You can observe that regularly and many sociological studies have shown that. France is known for Voltaire or Montesquieu and are probably the best at sarcasm/irony. So most of times its not meant in a bad way but complaining about everything and nothing [even if it's meant to please] is a national sport here ^^ Any ways, I've been on many sides in France and my conclusion is that basically, the marketing cliché has worked well with Paris but simply does not reflect the reality of the country in terms of lifestyle by any means. We're just normal people like any others and while it can be flattering to be qualified as the most romantic people in the universe, that's just entirely subjective and depends on the personality of the person you fall with, where you are in France etc.
You are an African. Nothing you can do will ever change that. Go back to Africa, there's plenty of room for you there. Leave France--and all of Europe--for ethnic French and Europeans.
Z_Goombah dude you are dumb as hell. First off, I'm not african, I'm french and from the carribbean. Second, you need to shut the hell up with your racism. I'm French, I'm staying in France unless stated otherwise by the authorities. Now give me a break.
Strict boundaries lead the way for me so I cut all communications with exes and their family members. If we didn't work out, chances are you won't add value after the breakup. I choose to put that energy into my current love circle. I've never invited men to shop with me and usually don't encourage them to participate in female oriented activities. Certainly not style or body criticism because it forces them to focus on what is important to our future. I have a demanding career and simply won't put up with negativity at home. In return, I expect a strong leader and decision maker.
Yes I can really relate. On just the first few weeks of dating here in Vancouver, my Parisian man told me, "I think those sunglasses don't quite suit your face so well." Well! As a Canadian woman I was caught off guard but laughed it off. Later comments followed on my nail polish, and an occasional item or two made me sensitive and a bit hurt (and stubborn and digging in my heels, as you mentioned, ha!!). UNTIL-- I read a book on French vs American culture and it explained that they just do this as a "looking out for your best interests" kind of a thing. Gosh, it explained so much. ...Even now though I regret that I do think we misunderstand one another more than we might just due to cultural differences, and I find that a bit sad. I think I still take offense more than I might for example about how he says some things. However I'm learning to give it back to him with honest feedback eg "I think you need a haircut soon", or "hmmm, I'm not crazy about that jacket." And definitely, the two things I said looked poorly on him he threw away, (yay!) so I thought that was a win. Although still-- if someone likes something and are happy in it, shouldn't we just keep our mouth shut? (So Canadian of me. I felt guilty bringing it up. ). However... maybe that explains how fashion here has really slipped and too many wear sloppy outfits without any consideration, hahaha. None of us are keeping the other in line. ;) Oh- however he did say what a relief it was to be here in Vancouver and not to have to fit so much to the pressure that exists in Paris to be, or look a certain way. It's a bit more relaxed here; well generally. Some of us still care! ;) I also ended up in tears one night when he had returned home from travelling and I'd taken the trouble to do a shop for him while he napped and recovered, and then to make a meal. Because I'd expected appreciation for the effort and got a critique (well meaning though it was) instead, it was too much! Okay, so one of the dishes was an utter failure (so horrible I had to throw it out, -- okay wait, I threw it over the balcony to the squirrels below while blinking back angry tears, hahahahaha) I laugh now, but that stung at the time. And he was surprised it upset me. ;) And the other similarities: honest interest and critiques on my outfits, hairstyle and homewares, and because he has such an excellent sense of style (mostly) I can trust his opinion very well. He's a joy to go shopping with! And yes, he wears the cliche scarfs, and yes he smells really good, and knows his way easily around a boutique cheese shop. And has charm to spare. ;) I also love that he always carries my heavy bags for me. He is also-- the most selfish and carefree driver (it's so embarrassing here in Vancouver--- haha) and has no trouble nudging ahead when pedestrians should have the right of way, or shouting and insulting someone if they have done something he deems outrageous. I actually rolled down the window once and apologized to a pedestrian once!! Ahaha! My boyfriend of course was insulted. (I'm laughing). And it's true how the French just throw themselves into the beginning of a relationship, and are mortified that we sometimes lightly date a few people over coffees before we feel like we want to really date one person in earnest. Because N Americans, we need time to consider first! I think a compromise between the two is the best approach. And of course neither approach safeguards against possible future heartache, so I suppose both have merit. And now we are exes and he has started dating someone new. Fortunately although I am not French I subscribe to the "more friends the merrier" approach and I'm sure when I meet his new girlfriend I won't have a difficult time being friendly. (Hopefully). But of course it will be easier when I have a new boyfriend myself !! (Preferably another French). Yes there is something I fell in love with about these guys. But I'm sure you two know all about that! x
warmestglow , Thank you for sharing ! As a french man (Not freshman anymore hé hé ), I still think that there's a way to say things with a more diplomatique touch. I think it's important to say our truth but not to the expense of the others self. I also heard that in a relationship it is important not to take asomption about what the other's intention is or when he's not clearly saying things (Am I clear? ). I think it's better to find out as soon as possible to avoid misunderstandings. Hope it brings some insight here and not the opposit. Xx
Well, I think the difference is that the American will indeed "date", that is test the waters, while not considering s/he really in a relationship. After a while, s/he will decide to go for it or not. While the French will tend to enter quickly directly in a full blown relationship, and will expect that you're not seeing anybody else. But in fact, it's *still* a trial period, and that the relationship will continue isn't a given. Basically, it's a if you were tasting dishes. The American will tend to take a small bite of each, and think about which he prefers, then sit down for good and order the dish. The French will only try one dish, eat half of it, and then only decide if he likes it enough, or if he rather would have something else. Which is going to be a problem both ways. The French will expect much more and take things more seriously at an early stage of a relationship (the dating part), but on the other hand, past a certain point (when the relationship is "exclusive"), then it's the American who will expect much more, assuming that the issue is settled when it really isn't. Basically, the "trial period" for a Frenchman is somewhere in between what an American would consider "dating" and what he would consider "exclusive relationship", which is going to be confusing for both.
Yes Oliver; very well put and indeed that confusion does arise between the two! Although I would also have to add that from my (Vancouver) perspectice, a French man throws themselves body, heart and soul into a starting a relationship after a mere blink of an eye... and gives precious little consideration for the ideas of a) is he himself ready for a new relationship, b) do our values match, and c) what do I want to bring to the relationship and what qualities am I looking for in someone else? And sure, this does sound a bit boring, and like it might kill passion and joie de vivre, but---- to just throw yourself in is more of the approach I would have from 15 to 25 years old, where I would "trust fate" and just hope for the best in the men who were put in my path. I did precious little pre-qualifying for if these guys would suit my best interests or peace of mind. As a woman older than 25 and knowing myself a lot better I find now that to be much more selective about the beginning is worth the outcome. I mean, my 49 year old ex, (a Parisian) is now giving a new relationship a try with a new woman who lives thousands of miles away because "fate seems to have brought them together" so "maybe that means something, and maybe this is why I'm "meant" to pursue this long distance relationship". And okay great! That's very romantic. And hopeful.... And idealistic. Or just plain naive?? Haha, well to each their own. There is firstly no way of deliberately calculating at the beginning so that the relationship is guaranteed not to dissolve after a time, and it's true that the idea of a relationship is really to grow and enjoy and challenge and enhance your life... I'm not sure if all of them are meant to last our whole lives (which however is a topic for a whole other discussion). But yes, I'm not sure if there is more or less regret from French lovers or Canadian lovers depending on their approaches. Perhaps in the end it's an even race! ;) x
Oh, friends with the exes that's a big one here in the US too. Most men & women in the US are not tolerant of their partner still being friends with an ex. Especially if it got to the point of having sex in the previous relationship. Some think it's okay, but most believe that in the name of love you should never do that. It helps keep things very clear for both the ex but also the new partner what's what since it's common to still carry romantic feelings for an ex and if the relationship with the new partner hits a rough spot one could be tempted to go to their ex for comfort that can get complicated very fast, or the ex could offer it. I'm not friends with a single one of my exes and they have no interest in being friends with me either though each break up was amicable. It's understandable & pretty much respected here. Exes are a slippery slope so most of us in the US avoid being friends with them if possible. Blurring the lines on exes is something Americans are generally uncomfortable with. We don't always like labels & rules but some we like to keep so boundaries are clear to all involved and blurring them is more likely to lead to things becoming messy. If one cheats, most here will likely do so with an ex because they're familiar. If an ex said he wants to be friends, I'd think 'He doesn't want a relationship with me but wants to be friends? Oh, he must want me to be the piece on the side until he finds another woman to take my place.' They only ex we have to accept in the US is an ex one of you have a child with. Which is common in the US. So don't be surprised if you're dating an American and they get upset that your friends with even one ex. Some might be tolerant, others won't. Just saying. Enjoyed your video, warm regards.
As a french man (and I first have to apologise in advance for my poor english), I'm a little bit irritated with the way you depict our way of life and being. I certainly don't want to be rude, but I can't agree with some of the things you said. We french people don't celebrate as many things for sure, but we do celebrate a graduation (but you were right with the no gift argument). As for a Valentine's day, I would definitely do something to show my wife that I love her, some kind of a little show of affection, and I would make her dinner in a romantic ambiance, with music, candles etc etc. (in order to wipe any ambiguity, I've been married for 4 years, and we've been in a relationship for 14 years). I do agree on the other side that we french people might be quite direct and frank, but we also know when to be polite (I woudn't have tell you that your pie (was it ?) had something wrong, unless being told to be honest, because you made it in a good end.)
I disagree. You might celebrate a graduation, but have you ever seen in France a "prom" or graduation party that is even remotely as much of a big deal as they're in the USA? As for the rest, it varies depending on the person, but I at least am a counter-example to you wrt St-Valentine's day (which I frankly hate) and frankness (as someone put it, "if you don't want the answer, don't ask the question", and besides aren't we *supposed* to be open and honest with our partners?). Same wrt exes. Several people (not you) mentioned that it wasn't really normal to keep seeing them but I do, and personally, I would find a partner who would want me to stop seeing them unacceptably jealous and/or controlling.
You're right, even if we celebrate a graduation, it's not as a big deal as in America. I don't like and I don't dislike neither St-Valentine's day for it's commercial aspect, I just think it is a good occasion to be even nicer with our partner (if possible ^^). Concerning exes, I think it's not a problem to still see them as long as there are no ambiguity whatsoever about our feelings
I would say that the French, and most Europeans do not fall in to the trap of commercially generated artificial celebrations that do more to benefit restaurants and supermarkets. Same thing with the insincere practice of buying a second rate card for minor occasions. However, a lot of French people will sent a card wishing a happy new year.
Wow what sad relationships you guys have, its not all frenchmen in general that do those things, it just seems that you're men are probably not that into you, also not all french men keep they're ex's as friends for the most part when they do it's because they're still messing with each other behind you're back
So timely. I've been dating a French man for a year. Your experiences have basically mirrored my own. I have learned to minimize my expectations and also that things move at a different pace (s l o w e r...) when dating a French man, or at least mine. Looking forward to part two.
ElectricFeel , oh I remember dating an americain girl at the americain embassy in Canada. We went to a restaurant and after the meal, we walked a bit in Ottawa, then we kissed! She said that I was slow on the move! What a smack in the face. I felt so stupid. I then leart the hard way because she never got to see me again oops! Oh yes and also I invited her for the meal but she refused. That was another difference. I realised that the idea was to have sex, and she would have prefered me to come to her appartment and keep things simple. Ha ! I was 20 and as you guessed I'm french.
Robert BOIS cool story. However I was referring to the pacing and intensity of the relationship. For example, no big to do about Valentine's Day, when to cohabit, the whole hugging thing, etc.
ElectricFeel I guess that the pacing and intensity of the relationship must quite depend on the match of the couple. Like passion that last for 3 years for example, I think it is not related to having a french man.
Robert BOIS haha thats because she didnt wanna date u she wanted to bone and when you didnt go for the bait she probably felt rejected and like she was too forward...which she likely was.
My experience has been a little different! The French guys I’ve dated also didn’t celebrate every little thing, were also very direct with feedback, and had vocal opinions on my clothes. But they preferred just as much makeup as I usually wear, just less dramatic eyeliner and neutral toned eyeshadows. As for hair, they both preferred “natural looking” waves as opposed to my actual naturally curly hair. It’s so funny that you mention the ex situations. That’s something I also found to be quite true! Great video ladies, cheers x
When we meet people from another culture, it’s always hard to know what comes from his own personality, and what comes from his culture. I had this experience with a japanese girl. As a french guy, I think that some points in this video are true, but others are more relative to your experience than the french culture in general. - The fact of not celebrating much is true ! I love that about the american culture. The way you celebrate everything is awesome. - About being direct, it’s a nice way to talk about negativity (in my opinion). I don’t think people in the USA are more hypocrite than french people. I experienced hypocrism everyday in my life here. I think that french culture has a way to more stress out negative stuff than americans. But the truth is probably in the middle (between being direct and being negative) - About seing the exes, it’s absolutely not in the french culture, but probably more in the people you’ve met. From my experiences, we usually don’t keep seing the exes in France (unless you have no choice) - About comment on weight, i wouldn’t say everyone does that here in France, it’s still a minority of people, but indeed it would be more common than in the USA indeed.
I don't recognize myself in any things that you talk about. As many people says in comments the most of french guys are not like you describe us. Sorry for my enplish i hope you will understand after all. I respect women I'm romantic and my wife can wear what she want. I respect all difference of culture and i adapt myself. Good continuation girls
These are soo true! Wish I would have known this 10 years ago. Especially the stuff about direct feedback and fashion. I’m super sensitive and it’s hard to get over my husband telling me the salad had too much lemon, or my sister in law telling me my hair is “dry”! Or a friend saying he doesn’t like one of my tattoos! The directness is part of what I love about French culture, but it’s difficult when directed onto you 😂
Bonjour! Juste pour vous dire que certains des points que vous avez abordé ne sont pas des problèmes dû à la culture mais bien à vos hommes les filles. L’histoire de la st Valentin du diplôme et des ex qu’ils soient français ou non c’est pas ca le problème battez vous un peu parce que là y’a des raisons de le faire je suis française mon copain a grandi ici et jamais j’accepterais ça de sa part.
One point has made me wonder until I remembered something about french culture. We do not buy clothes to our girlfriend/wife because in France it is considered extremely rude to ask a woman about her weight or the size of her clothes. It is mostly considered a taboo subject. As much in fact as anything that is linked to woman intimacy (purse, drawers, etc)
Wow, quite accurate! If I can add something: if a french guy does not give you direct feedback, it might mean he just doesn't care. We start to be direct when it actually matters.
And it's not just about make-up. Again it's not 100% of us, but you can forget to shave your legs and arm pit for several weeks, normally we won't even notice.
I've got to say, as a frenchman, that French women do all mostly just wear jeans and black/gray, quite formless and conservative, and I don't find it very attractive. I personally like to see colours! and skirts! and yes seeing some skin sometimes is quite nice too IMO.
I'm a believer in less makeup. Perhaps a good followup video would be to do the same thing with the boyfriends. Find out what they wish they had known.
Rick Chollett or how about why thay seem to think its ok to not where deodorant? Pee uuuuuu and all the body hair thay are not into waxing 😝 yuck. And whats up with the showers its water it wont burn there skin.
Yeah, sure, we don't take showers nor we wipe our asses after going to the saint trinity of toilets - yeah, we love toilets too after eating our mighty baguette. But did you know that it is a survival skill? The more we are clean, the more critical minded people like you are coming to our smelly and sweaty beasts country, we would be too much in there, France is sooooo small after all 🙄 Cliché!
I just realised how much French I can be. Thank you very much for this direct and lovely feedback. Much appreciated! I don’t have any dating intentions in mind, but It’s shifting my perspective regarding my relationships in general. Being sincere is still a quality in my point of view, but « Je vais mettre de l’eau dans mon vin ». No doubt you understand what that means.
After reading the comments I’m surprised at other people’s reactions 😅 These are definitely things I have experienced and had to deal with as an anglophone dating a Frenchie. Mother in laws can always vary (I ditched the worst one 🤣) however from my personal experience I have noticed this behaviour in most French guys I know! Especially their opinion on clothes!! I just reply that I really don’t care, but that doesn’t stop me getting the remark in the first place, and his close friends do this too! (And then I start getting crazy with my fashion choices to wind them up / embarrass them in public 🤣)
Very interesting video. Being French and married to a Colombian woman for 14 years now and living in the US, I can definitely relate. There’s definitely a pattern of cultural habits like the fact that we don’t celebrate events/holidays as much as Americans, or Colombians for that matter, but I’d like to ponder this a little bit though. Writing birthday cards or cards in general is really the minimum I think. So what you say is true to a certain extend but not congratulating your significant one for a graduation for instance is just not normal. So that depends on the personality of the guy too, but I agree there’s a pattern here. Also, being very direct and criticizing is very very true! It’s very cultural, regardless of the gender. It’s the way French people work. We’re very direct, say things like we think they are. We think there’s always a way to improve and that we’re doing a favor in telling people what we think instead of saying “you look gorgeous” while you’re actually wearing the ugliest outfit you could possible choose out of your wardrobe LOL. That’s also a way for French people to be true to one another, while here in the US, we oftentimes find work or friend relationships to be a little fake and leads sometimes people to be flaky, which really, isn’t great at all. So sometimes this is a big disappointment. People are used to say that it’s hard to make friends in France, but once you become friends, it’s more likely to be a true friendship, while in the US it seems like you can easily make friends, but they’ll actually rarely become real friends. Finally, the thing with exes might be something with the people you dated, but I can assure you French people, or more specifically French guys, are not all like that at all. I strongly disagree on that point. Thanks for your video, that what a funny one!
One point stroke me, it's about exes. Most of the time, after a relationship, most girls prefer to cut all ties with their previous boyfriend. Your examples makes me think that you met guys with a wide group a friends that always see each others, and of course, in case of an old relationship, the two partners still see each other.
@NonStopParis What Thoses girls fail to understand is that not every people is the same. For example, some people won't celebrate Saint Valentin, while other not only celebrate this, but will celebrate the date they met for the first time.
And some guys will be excited to celebrate the date they met their concubine... and won't even speak about Valentine's Day because that's commercial horse shit ! C'est juste là pour te faire acheter des putains de chocolats et des bagues à prix d'or histoire de relancer ce putain de PIB au mois de fev... oups sorry. Yeah, everyone's different, and if you ask, I can write you a love letter... for 5€ only. Because I'm a romantic that way
Seriously I work with French men who speak English and the experience these 'girls' are having with the men they are with may be constructed because of socioeconomic class. Not all French men behave they way these women have prescribed them to be.
You're right about saying that it's not necessarily a 'french male' factor but French Culture, overall. For example, in the US, I think it's common for information to be sugar-coated so as to avoid offence, whereas in France (and other parts of the world) people find softening their opinions as a waist. I guess there are pros and cons in both -- to all their own! Great vid.
I come from a French Canadian culture and am married to a native Mexican. Every thing you guys said about American/New Zealander attitude reflects my husband. I, of course, reflect your French better halves’. I had to learn to “give in” into your culture because he just made such a big show about everything and I felt horrible not doing the same for him. As much as I try I can never top him. I do feel so spoiled. Do your guys like the attention?
I am french and I never stayed in contact with my exes, even though it did not end badly, because I personally don't feel like it. To me it's kind of weird. And a lot of my friends (girls and boys) don't talk anymore to their exes either. My boyfriend is spanish and on the other way it's exactly what is said in the video : the big group with some 20 friends that know each other since secondary school, hooking and breaking up with each other when they were younger. I try not to think about it too much, because although I know that now they are just friends, I still feel a little uncomfortable with this idea. So according to my own experience I would'nt say that keeping in touch with the exes is something necessarily connected to french culture.
Also, the natural beauty thing is hard for me! I like to get dolled up and experiment with makeup and style and I never want to be “boring” and look like all the other French girls.. but I tend to get some looks, for sure. That being said, it’s nice to feel I’m appreciated for natural beauty as well.
Hi Girls I think you have dated the worst kind of guys because there are some adorable French men who enjoy makeup and all of the efforts women make for themselves or for others. A guy who dares to comment on your cooking or on your outfit is a jerk no matter where he's from. Period. It's true that we French people don't celebrate lots of events but if you care about these sort of things the guy you date will care just to make you happy. And that is such bullshit to stay friends with your exes ! So please don't stereotype "French men" by associating this definition to a certain type of douchebags (from Paris I might add).
"And that is such bullshit to stay friends with your exes" well it is youre problem. If you can't understand that, you are not mature enought or you have an unhealthy relation with youre ex. The beauty of frienship is that it goes over old sentiments who does not exist. If my ex is still cool and funny, she's a friend. And not trust the one you love is not really a good way to love for me.
It's not about commenting. If you don't ask, then it's fine. If you're asking "do I look ok" or "is it good", you obviously expect an honest answer, not a lie to make you feel good.
I am a French girl and your video made me laugh so loud because you are RIGHT ahah we are like this and it sounds normal! Cultural gaps are always so funny
So interesting to listen to you girls, thanks for sharing your opinion on the matter. Bear in mind, that it's equality painful for French ( especially for girls) when you date somebody who is from that French praising culture such as Anglo-saxon to be a Godness whereas we are pretty down-to-earth generation today and you have that person going on and on about French being perfect at kissing, French smelling Dior even sweating at the gym, French shopping only Louis-Vuitton, French romantic, French eating only healthy stuff... It's so much pressure, I wish I was British/American/Aussie sometimes because nothing is expected from you as girl but just to be yourself
Peut-être que la pression, c'est toi-même qui te la mets par rapport aux attentes des autres. Si tu apprenais à t'en foutre, tu ferais un grand pas. Si tu sors avec un mec pour qui tu es un cliché ambulant, c'est que le problème ne vient pas de toi. S'il se trouve être déçu par la réalité que tu lui montres/expliques, c'est qu'il ne vaut pas la peine que tu perdes ton temps pour lui.
I'd just like to say as female English resident, born and bred in this country with English family heritage , there is still pressure. Maybe a different kind of pressure to what other nationalities are used to but to think English women are accepted just as they are is incorrect.
Some of these are so relatable! They do make very honest comments about the makeup (he once told me, when I wore a SLIGHTLY darker lipstick: what's all that... Paint... In your face?) and the clothes. They are also, I think, kinda judgy. Not speaking about boyfriends, just French people in general. Also, the ex thing is soo true, a French friend of mine always goes to the theater with his ex (they were together for 7 years) and to bars and stuff with his girlfriend AND friends he has hooked up with in the past and I don't know everyone is super chill about it...
Thanks for sharing! I have lived close to such people as you have just described and I would actually suggest that if you do not want a miserable life, if possible, just be more selective - they do not deserve you at all. God Bless you both, xoxo!
Hi! I'm from Switzerland, so I can relate to some of what you pinpointed here. So… Direct feedback: I liked this video… somehow. I think its main quality is the hints you give away, that kind of make a statement about how you are conscious that all of this is purely cultural and, in some instances, healthier than how things roll in the North American culture. I get a sense that, in a way, you know how shallow the American culture is. Whenever I watch one of your most famous shows that made their way through to Europe (Sex and the City, Big Bang Theory, How I met your Mother, you name it…) that dedicates a whole episode on the "annoying jealous girlfriend" or "overly territorial boyfriend" issues, or the "I was expecting you to [blablabla] and I'm so disappointed in you for not guessing and for being so not romantic" issue, I can't help but think: just how many people actually identify themselves with such idiotically behaving characters? Do these people realize, watching the show slumped on their couch, THEY are the laughing stock? (Truth be told, I really don't think these issues are exclusive to the North American culture… People behave just like that right at my doorstep. We just don't produce that many shows about it, AND most people wouldn't claim these behaviors to be a part of their culture. Rather, they would see it as a collateral damage of being human, something common, yet something you shouldn't be proud of, something that's not desireable.) Welp, talked a lot, didn't say much, but here I was :P Please keep up with not wearing so much make-up nor tart stuff ;) Oh, and your friend looks like she's having less fun in France… Maybe she needs a hug? Just a thought.
Now that's rich. I just finished watching The big bang theory, season 4, episode 18 and it was exactly about the mentioned issues (again, it's not the first)! Territorial love is so messed up from the start… Ugh. "Love"… Are we even certain that word means anything if one has to try and control who the "loved one" is friend with? Anyway, not the point of your video. But still…
I think that the less hair, less makeup section isn’t actually exactly what you said but related to the OH SO TRUE AND DISTURBING #2. In the sense that they will give you feedback which North Americans just won’t do because they might think you’ll take it personal. But no. 2 is hialrious and so true! Am Canadian and been dating a French guy for 5 yrs and can totally relate!
Love this video ❤️ part 2 please ! Coming from an Asian background, the down-with-the-exes is def a big shock for me and I still cannot get used to it.
蔡宜庭 , I'm a french person, I find it touchy to see an ex with my girlfriend/wife. I would avoid it as much as possible. It can fuel jalousy and other unhealthy feelings to my point of view. It could even be a sign that the guy has some narcistical issue.
Love your video :) but I'm french and don't agree with some of these points : about "ex", my boyfriend is really jealous and it's inconceivable to him that I spend time with my ex boyfriend. I'm more like "okay you do what ever you want and talk to who ever you want BUT you have to make your own limits. Go to the cinema with a girl... LOL don't try". And I agree with your point of view, I can't be "friend" with my ex, there will always have someting even if i'm not in love with him anymore, i can set up i'm his friend but in my head it's more complicated. (sorry for mistakes, please correct me)
C'est très intéressant comme témoignage car ce sont effectivement des différences culturelles auxquelles on ne penserait pas. Ces différences amènent à des conflits alors que chacun (français ou néo-zélandais/américains) croit être dans son bon droit. C'est donc une bonne chose d'avoir en tête ces différences de perception pour pouvoir s'adapter à l'autre. Merci pour la vidéo !
This is interesting. Until very recently, I was not particularly interested in France or the French until I stated tutoring a young Frenchwoman in English. We are not only building her English language skills, but I am beginning to see cultural aspects of the French like these you describe here that are quite appealing to me. Now it's time to formally study French and learn much more!
Je suis Belge et je tenais à approuver ce que vous avez dit sur le maquillage. Chaque fois que je vais en Angleterre (surtout là-bas), je trouve les filles vraiment beaucoup trop maquillées.. Je me doute bien que ça fait partie de votre culture mais sachez que si vous allez en France ou en Belgique, plus une fille sera maquillée, plus elle sera considérée comme 'superficielle'... C'est a dire, le genre de fille bonne pour une nuit mais qu'on assumerait jamais pour une vie entière... Une fille qui paraît belle naturellement attirera plus les envies. Merci pour cette vidéo très cool.
I've always been that kind of hopeless romantic that would write love letters, paying attention to what my girlfriend wants or thinks, yet I always end up getting dumped and that whole dating thing kind of eludes me now, to the point I've almost given up dating... From where I stand I'd say you're both dating perfect douchebags but I'm in a bad position to claim you're doing it wrong. It's a cultural thing in France to have high standards, but being mean and/or critical is frown upon and I can't quite grasp why you would let someone do that to you. I don't know any woman that would accept a date at Pizza Hut for Valentine's Day, even as a compromise. I do agree too much makeup kills the mood, but no man in their right mind should comment on how you dress or what you've done for them. I don't keep in touch with my exes that much either. I'm really confused after watching such videos and I feel like crap. I'm either doing it completely wrong or I'm not made for dating. Apparently you're only worth dating if you're also worth getting punched in the face.
Oh my god 😂😂😂😂 I am French, living in the U.K. and dating an English guy. Every single thing you said has been brought up at some point in our relationship, that is so funny 😂😂.
Hey, I just stumbled upon your video. Pretty interesting^^ I'm a french man myself, living in Quebec, and currently dating a girl from there. It's pretty interesting because I can see a bit of what you're talking about. For exemple, about being direct, that's something I always have to be careful, because she'll be doing something, and I'll make a critic about it and she'll take it very badly. Thing is, I still recognize what she did was great, and I say it to her, but it doesn't seem to matter as soon as I make one small comment... which is weird... But hey, at least I realize it's not just me^^
Actually, Valentine's day is an anglo-saxon tradition, in France we saw it mostly as a "wish cards seller invented celebration", it seems artificial to us.
Yes i agree it sounds so funny from a French perspective. But from an American point of view, missing her cultural things time to time... it makes sense
As a French Canadian young man who loves pizza I don't mind going to Pizza Hut or any other pizza place for Valentines day. Plus it's much cheaper to go their instead of going to a fancy restaurant that would cost you an arm and a leg to pay for it anyways. And I'm a pure blooded French Canadian with purely only French roots on both sides of my family. I love pizza so much that I could eat it every single day and never get tired of it and it could be from any pizza place but just as long it has my favorite toppings on it I would still eat it. Pizza is one of my all time favorite foods and I also used to work at Pizza Hut for a few months as a delivery driver and I got to eat so much free pizza every time we had an order they messed up on we got to eat that pizza for free and that was so good for me.
This is kinda funny because I generally agree with your videos about the French people (being one myself) but on the topic of men, except maybe for the last point which I also agree on, it feels like you guys both got involved with the type of guys that aren't... making any effort? xD Of course, maybe it's just the way that you summed it up in the video that's giving me this impression but as it turns out, Valentine's day is a big deal for many people around me, all French, so is any kind of celebration, be it gradutation, getting your driver's license, validating your semester, anything you want to celebrate really. Even when I have just a tough week, I can receive support through calls or messages from the people I'm closest to. It's a good thing that they can change apparently xD but maybe you guys ended up with dudes who initially didn't really know what it's supposed to be like to date girls and making a bit of an effort so that everyone can enjoy the great time. xDD
Okay so as a French person, I disagree with most things that were said in this video. If my boyfriend/husband commented on the way I clean up the house or the way I dress, that would be totally inappropriate. It would also be inappropriate for my mother in law to comment about my weight.
And while it is true we don't celebrate graduations very much, a little "congrats" wouldn't have hurt.
Elisa Ha Ha
Mother in law commented on her SON'S weight
Et tu sais pas écrire en francais ?
Sorry but most of the things you say aren't cultural at all . Just your boyfriends aren't really considerate towards you ..
I'm french so obviously I dated a lot of French boys but Scots, Finns, Swiss, Koreans etc as well. And I still don't think it has anything to do with your origin . Some are assholes or impolite , some are not , period . :)
@@WilliamLesourd if u have to add just joking to your joke it was probably a shit joke in the first place
This is actually good to read, because I was so repulsed by watching this. Glad to know these are bad generalizations and not true overall.
Agreed!!!!!!
To me, there is still something cultural in her observations. We live in the land of gallantry and love, and women here enjoys an extremely idealized glamorous image. I interpret these small criticisms from men as a way of bringing them down to earth in some way, and of overcoming the idealization that prevents the authentic relationship between two beings. It can also be a strategy for the man to show the woman that she must not take him for granted, and that she must continue to make efforts to please him.
I was on a pretty popular TH-cam channel about seduction, and the TH-camr responded to one of my comments by saying that a man should "avoid complimenting" a woman she's trying to seduce.
However, it depends on the degree of criticism and how that criticism is formulated.
It's also true that we are far less enthusiastic and warm people than American are.
Im' a french guy ..and a advice , change of men because they seem very rude and not very funny!!
i think their guys are CHEAP !
oui je trouves qu'ils ne représentent pas " le French Guy " ils ont juste pas l'air très sympa comme tu dis....
I think a lot of foreign guys from all over take advantage of the typical American girls that are swooned over an accent. Ladies! Stick to your expectations!
brenda mills You can’t date a couple French men and say they are all cheap. There’s cheap guys everywhere
Cheap boyfriends! And on top of that, they have no respect for them! I have NEVER had to deal with ANY of my boyfriend's exes?? Wtf?
They didn't "teach" you the good way, girl!
I'm French, sorry if my English is bad, I was looking for an expression that means "teach you how to be respected". Don't get me wrong! You shouldn't have to see your boyfriend's exes! Not if it bothers you...You're free and you should show / tell him! If he wants to force his ex on you, run!! That's what I'd do!
This is only MY opinion...For what it's worth 🙄
I lived right outside of Paris for a few months and had a French boyfriend at the time. He, too, was very direct with his opinions, but I didn't find any other French people like that. Well, except for his mother. However he gave me his opinions when I didn't ask for them, and they were never positive. It was always something like "are you really gonna wear that skirt?" or "it would be great if you would like to tone up your butt and thigh area" or on my last day in France, I had had really bad luck with atms so we'd been all around Paris trying to find one that worked and when we waited he said, out of the blue, "I'm only doing this for you because it's your last day".
I don't think these are naturally French things, I just think he was an asshole.
yes
yes, he was. No doubt about this. I wonder if they are more assholes in france though (I'm a french man, and I would'nt even think of saying the stuff they are talking about , the clothes, the cleaning, the quiche!) . I tend to think that maybe there is a certain cultural form of misogyny in France.
@@backintimealwyn5736 si si, la bouffe c'est important quand même, mais pour pas être emmerdé, c'est moi qui fais la bouffe ^^
@@ricolebarbareful idem , je fais la bouffe parceque j'aime avoir le pouvoir là dessus, personne ne la fait bien comme j'aime :p mais surtout , les autres la font pas comme j'aime et trop lentement , ça me rend dingue. Bref je suis un chieur, quoi qu'il en soit, jamais , jamais ,jamais , je ne me permettrais de dénigrer un plat fait avec amour par ma moitié.
Mon mec me sort que j'ai mal nettoyé l'appart pendant qu'il est sortit je l'envois voltiger jusqu'à mars ou pluton
Aurelie E Je croyais que les femmes appréciaient l'honnêteté ? 🤔
L'honnêteté par rapport aux sentiments ect .. pas sur le ménage on s'en fou un peu 😂
Aurelie E On fait jamais de demi-mesure nous :3
TheMorSkull01 ok alors faites le ménage les mecs si ça vous plait pas quand c'est nous😄
Mina Clian Faut bien vous laisser progresser 😉
Are you guys serious? I am french and so is my bf and my exes. I always went to nice restaurants and had gift for valentine's day for example my boyfriend flew me to the canarie island for our first Valentine's day together. My bf always do big romantic gesture he litteraly still celebrates monthly anniversary with me (we are 4 years into this relationship)... Your boyfriends take advantage of you knowing they can blame it on the culture. The "are you going to wear that to work" 😂😂 Any french women I know would have given him a mental slap. This is very rude. Not cultural. 70% of what you said is absolutely not my experience with french men...
Océane Cerdan yes they use the culture to be lazy its sad and a cop out. just find a decent Frenchy ..
This is very good to know. I have recently started dating a French man but he has lived in the states for quite some time, so I not sure exactly how much to expect from the list. If he ever said I can see you still have some trouble cleaning etc- he would be in for a reckoning with God after I cleaned the whole house. Lol
Océane Cerdan thank GOD! Honestly I felt like these guys were just rude/inconsiderate. Not just "French guys".
Océane Cerdan LOL
exactly what I went through dating different culture, just taking advantage. It was just HIM
@@symoneontheinternet they weren't. It's all relative. I think for example, dishonesty is way worse than appearing to be direct. Here in the US, you just shut it, the whole emperor's new clothes is getting us nowhere really, no one ever knows what the others are thinking, it's all very fake.
I'm French, and my boyfriend took me to wonderful restaurants. He washes our apartment every week, alone ! He never criticized my physical appearance.. even when I ask ! He just loves me without make-up in a beautiful dress. No problem with "exes" : Confidence is the key of a relationship !
You just didn't pick the right guys. I disagree with most things that were said in this video. If my boyfriend/husband commented on the way I clean up the house or the way I dress, that would be totally inappropriate.
Maybe you misunderstood some of the parts.. Because they re saying almost the same thing you re saying. As a french guy who lived in the US Know they re right. Tu réagirai comment si ton mec parisien te proposait pizza hut ou mac do pour la saint Valentin ? Pareil, les hommes français oui on a des avis sur la mode. Après il faut le faire avec tact. Pareii pour le sur maquillage
Encore une qui ne sait plus écrire en francais....
Interesting point of view, as a french man, i think that some of the men's comentary you are talking about are rude and inapropriate. The cultural argument don't excuse these comportements. Like when he says that you can keep this cloth but not the others. Or bein too honest and hurting. It's not normal. It's not because they're french. Those behaviours must be stoped and you can protest and contest them. Please do it :) so it's my opinion and you are free to disagree ^^ just wanted to share my thouhts with you.
Bonne continuation :)
math peter: Salut 1 year after: Don't you think the men's comments may be somewhat expressing emotional affect by the american women's loudness, american lack of feeling, refinement, style which may hurt a cultural sensitive French man? I think their way of saying things were polite enough: "You have a tendency to... " And stripes of detergent is not so nice to look at, and he may not have realized that she worked that hard and had actually cleaned the whole home. If he had other things on his mind, he may not notice, I wouldn't.
We didn't get to know the details, and I think these women seem just as narcissistic and less mature as some accuse the husbands to behave as.
I am grateful when MY mum notices and comments on changes in my looks and health, it feels secure and helps me see myself from outside.
hese couples might work at constructive communication of feelings, but I like a man who cares and has some opinions about the wife etc.
My boyfriend in Champagne reacted against my military boots and wanted me to wear sth feminine as he took me out with his friends. I was travelling with a rucksack and could not carry too many sets of clothes. I found his feeling normal. The only thing i have against him is that he probably lied about his age. maybe afraid to put me off. I should have fitted better with one of his younger friends, but was taken in by his groundedness, maturity, manly certainty and self-confidence. Young and thoughtless, traumatized and inexperienced.
Are french guys hot like u? Coz the 1 i chatted before is.
math peter Oui, merci!
Well said!
Totally agree with you
Happily married to a Frenchman for 6 years. He is completely the opposite to what you two describe. He is very romantic and most important, he is respectful. His mother and the rest of his family are polite and never said anything inappropriate to me.
You are in sad relationships. This behavior is not cultural. They are just jerks.
Really funny and damn right ! As a french women, I see it from an other perspective that might explain a lot.
1. We have indeed the tendancy to appriciate "authentic" people and that might make us rude. We "try" to make prevail honesty (that include: no small talk with strangers to pretend that we do care, light makeup or you can be considered as a ... or have a lack of taste, something to hide and so on), respect (that means for instance not making too much noise in a restaurant e.g. typical US tourist :p *love you guys*), etc.
2. In more details, halloween and valentine's day are considered as they propably are: some commercial US new celebrations. Of course, the valentine's day seems more appriciate by french women than french men !
3. We rarely celebrate graduation except if the graduate dude organises himself the party or... if he graduates from a prestigious institution/school. Otherwise, it's pretty commun for french to think that we must have a high degree, it's not a big deal. Most of the time, studies are paid by the goverment. It needs a little less commidment somehow... i mean: no need to work aside to pay your studies ;).
4. In general strangers are so ... excited about everything all the time ! That's like little girls with sparcling in there eyes. Really cute (from my point of view) !! But it seems cultural, not really natural for us (are we depressed :x?).
5. Finally, we have the inverse problem of yours. It's really hard emotionnally for us if we don't pay attention to that cultural differencies... Why ? Because when we meet a super sweet and nice stranger, speak a lot and spend some time ... we may think that he became our friend ! In reality, he is just nice with everyone and you mean nothing at all to him (was he hypocrite ?). If you think of him as a friend you'd do anything for him. But when you realise the gap between you, damn, it hurts. Specially when we live abroad, it's hard to make real good friends...
I hope this glimpse of what we think and feel helps understand us a little better ;)
Btw, I love your videos !
Sophie Lasfargeas je regrette mais 60% des étudiants travaillent. Je sais pas où tu vis, mais c'est pas la même France.
60% c'est beaucoup. Certains étudiants travaillent en effet mais à mon sens moins de la moitié des étudiants
60% ça doit inclure ceux qui travaillent l'été, du coup c'est réaliste. Après y a des écoles/facs où tu vas trouver peu d'étudiants qui travaillent (souvent des trucs un peu prestigieux).
Sophie Lasfargeas , I so agree with the friendship part ! Sometimes you think you have a meaningful connection with a foreigner stranger, but he/she 's just acting overly nice all the time. I first thought that American/Canadian were fake people, but realized later that's their own way of being polite.
K K je n'ai connu que deux personnes qui travaillent pendant leurs études supérieures. Ça dépend aussi du temps libre si ce n'est pas du travail "alimentaire" mais plus pour de l'argent de poche. Dans mon école on avait peu le temps d'avoir un boulot à côté... 60% me paraît très exagéré
As a french girl dating a french guy, I think we have better specimens available XD
Glad for this feedback. This video made me think they’re a bu ch of self absorbed insensitive arses.
@@coridevine6351 It s a different perspective, that s all! But even for French, if you don't celebrate graduation... it's hard and a little bit insensitive yes !
And a few number of us likes to write and love poésie. But the majority dont practice poésie it's right ! So, there were French guys but not typical French guys, that s the point :)
Bravo les filles ! Vous avez plutôt bien mis le doigt sur les différences culturelles entre les anglo-saxons (je généralise, c'est plus simple) et les français.
Je vis en Australie depuis 2 ans et la surexpression des sentiments et des émotions par les australiens me choque toujours autant. "OMG, that's amAAAzing!" Je trouve ce genre d'attitude superficielle voire forcée, même si je sais que ça ne l'est pas pour les anglo-saxons. Les français sont beaucoup plus pudiques concernants leurs émotions et leurs sentiments et de ce fait ils les expriment beaucoup moins.
Le fait que les australiens ne soient pas directs me manque aussi parfois. C'est sympa au quotidien car moins "agressif", mais au final on ne sait jamais vraiment ce qu'ils pensent. Ils peuvent te dire que ta robe est magnifique juste pour être gentil alors qu'ils ne le pensent pas du tout, alors qu'un français n'aurait juste rien dit ou si tu lui demandes : "non j'aime pas du tout", "ça ne te met pas du tout en valeur". Ca ne fait pas forcément plaisir sur le coup mais au moins c'est sincère. Tout comme si un français dit qu'il aime quelque chose, il aime vraiment. Il ne fait pas semblant juste pour être poli (ça peut arriver mais ce n'est pas la mentalité de base).
Pour ce qui est des célébrations : la Saint Valentin, c'est commercial !!! L'amour se prouve au quotidien, pas seulement le 14 février ! Et là on retrouve une grosse caractéristique de la culture anglo-saxonne hyper-consommatrice. Les français ne sont globalement pas (encore) hyper-consommateurs donc ce genre de fête a beaucoup moins d'impact en France. Tout comme Halloween...On fête en famille ou avec les amis très proches les évènements importants. On en revient à la pudeur des émotions des français qui va à l'encontre de l'hyper-expression des anglo-saxons (d'un point de vue français évidemment).
Ce que je trouve marrant aussi, c'est que les anglo-saxons vont beaucoup plus facilement être dans le compliment, le rapport sympa à l'autre, mais ça reste très superficiel. Il est très difficile d'entrer dans une vraie conversation intime et profonde et de "copiner" avec les anglo-saxons. Ils vont être super sympa et agréables quand tu les rencontres, mais ça s'arrête là. Il n'y a rien derrière. Le français va être moins expressif de prime abord mais il va plus facilement s'ouvrir et lier une amitié.
Pour ce qui est de l'esthétique... Grand débat ! D'un regard français, les 3 cm de fond de teint sur le visage, les sourcils ultra dessinés, les faux cils et les faux ongles colorés, ça fait très superficiel et c'est pas classe du tout... Les françaises savent s'apprêter tout en restant naturelles. Au moins il n'y a pas de mauvaise surprise au réveil !
Je pense que c'est lié à notre rapport beaucoup plus proche avec la nature en France. On attache beaucoup moins d'importance au paraître, mais aussi à ce que les autres pensent de nous.
Concernant les ex, c'est très personne dépendant. Beaucoup de personnes qui se sont séparées ne restent pas du tout en contact en France... Le fait que l'on reste ami avec nos ex est loin d'être une généralité. Ca dépend juste des situations et des personnes.
Tout ça pour dire que oui, bien que les pays anglo-saxons et la France soient des pays économiquement équivalents, il existe de grandes différences culturelles, qui ne se voient pas de prime abord, mais qui sont profondément ancrées en nous.
Il n'y a pas un pays meilleur que l'autre, c'est juste différent. Il y a du bon et du mauvais des deux côtés ! ;-)
La meilleure explication sur les différences qui nous caractérisent entre Français et Anglo-saxons.
Il y'a 20 ans déjà lorsque je vivais aux usa, j'avais été particulièrement été déçu de ce pays à cause de cet état d'esprit Américain.
Tout est faux, tout est dans le paraitre, ils se fichent du fond tout ce qui compte c'est la forme, ce phénomène est palpable dans tous les domaines de la société américaine, politique, relations sociales et familiales et même au boulot.
Paradoxalement c'est leur exubérance systématique pour tout qui renforce ce sentiment.
Même si je dois reconnaitre que les relations avec un Français peuvent être compliquées, elles sont le mérite d'être franches et la plupart du temps sincères.
nous nous fichons plus des conventions et des détails, peu importe d'offrir des chocolats pour la St-valentin si les 364 jours suivant on se fout de sa femme ou qu'on va rejoindre sa maitresse...
Par ailleurs si le Français est sincère mais dur, il est aussi moins rancunier que beaucoup d'autre nationalités. Des Français peuvent se pourrir autours d'un repas de famille et se reparler quelques temps plus tard comme si rien ne c'était passé. Cela ajouté au fait que les Français ne sont pas aussi puritains sur la nudité fait que certains Français puissent garder contact avec un ou une ex.
Oui c'est tout à fait mon sentiment. Ça me rappelle la première vidéo, dans laquelle elle disait que les français sont des noix de coco, durs et distants de prime abord mais au top une fois la barrière passées ☺☺☺
Autant j'étais pas forcement d'accord avec un certains nombre de commentaires autant le tiens est particulièrement pertinent je trouve ! Et j'ai les mêmes opinions sur les points à débat. Rien que les sourcils, c'est tellement un no go pour moi, quand je vois une fille qui possède ces sourcils, exactement les mêmes, la même forme que la fille trois mètres plus loin, on dirait un peu un clan ou une secte, dont le signe distinctif c'est tout le monde les mêmes sourcils ! ^^
C'est ça ! J'ai cliqué sur la vidéo en mode "c'est bon je me fais une petite vidéo putaclique" et en fait je les ai trouvées très juste sur leur analyse, si bien que je m'y suis retrouvée en tant que Française. Après, en vivant à l'étranger, ce qui m'a vraiment sauté aux yeux et dont elles ne parlent pas (mais je n'ai pas encore vu la seconde vidéo) c'est la façon dont les Français aiment débattre de tout et de rien ! C'est terrible, il suffit à l'étranger qu'il y ait deux Français à la même soirée et ils sont capables de débattre de la couleur du mur tellement ils sont en manque de ce type d'échanges ! ahah
N
I'm french and moving abroad has lightened my mood, cut my arrogance and sneeky comments from 100% to 0.1% still trying harder. Sooo much more positivity about every day little things...
Mari London
Yep c'est pas pour rien qu'on est les plus gros consommateurs d'antidépresseurs
davlmt les français les plus gros consommateurs d'antidépresseurs ? Faux, où t'as vu ça?
Bravo !
@@davlmt c'est faux la France n'est plus le pays le plus gros consomateurs d'anti dépresseurs depuis longtemps.
Magnifique !
As a French girl I had the opposite experiences! French men are romantic and usually are very sweet and won't say what they think but will tell you compliments... I don't get how both of you could have so negative experiences with French guys
Et une de plus....
un mec qui critique ta façon de t'habiller ou de faire le ménage alors qu'il ne bouge pas le petit doigt c'est pas un français, c'est juste un con.
Tout les filles que j'ai connue on à un moment critiquées mes fringues, je les ai jamais considéré comme conne pour autant!! Parfois les critiques sont constructives et aide à faire avancer.
askip une femme peut se permettre des trucs que les hommes ne peuvent pas :p
Il peut etre francais ET con...
Il peut etre francais ET con .... :)
bigseych parce que c'est pas la même chose ? :O
Hi, I'm french and I find yours guys particulary rude. I can't beleive it when I see how pretty you are. If I was your boyfriend I will be so romantic and do anything to keep pretty girls like you. In anycase my behaviour is not like you say, don't do a generality, or change guys they don't deserve you. Frenchies are not definetely like that, whe have a reputation to defender. Sorry for the mistakes
I'm an American living in France and I really enjoy that my French boyfriend is upfront with me. It makes the compliments more authentic even. To me, doing my makeup is just fun it's not for appearances as much as it is a ritual if that makes sense? He was completely willing to help me throw a little thanksgiving dinner and he knows that certain things are just important to my culture.
Why would you stop celebrating the special moments in your life because of the particular preferences of one man...? Who cares whether he celebrates the occasion or not? Carry on!
It sounds like the pair of you have made A LOT of sacrifices for your french bfs. Both of your bfs sound like uber dominant types and I would suggest wrestling back some measure of control/balance in the relationship before it's too late. To me honest, you both sound a bit ridiculous...It's not the 1950's ;-)
indirajane seriously, they sound like petty miserable men to be around.
If you pay attention to what was said, they were never prevented from doing anything. They were given feedback they could choose to ignore or they were expecting their bfs to behave like they would in their culture. Well that's not going to happen. You want to celebrate every little thing: go ahead. But don't force others to follow.
indirajane exactly, get a hold of your lives you dont have to be doormats . its really cringey
cid2mizar However, if your so really enjoys celebrating and you care about them, I think you would make some comprimises and celebrate on a few occasions just because that’s gonna make them happy and if you love someone, you want them to be happy, right? Obviously I’m not talking about celebrating every single little thing or doing extreme or expensive gestures, just showing your partner that you give a fuck about what they enjoy
1950s were the best
1. French guys are generally romantic. (if not, change)
2. Pizza hut, really for Valentines Day ?
3. If your bf doesn't like what YOU like about yourself, he's a douch
4. We celebrate quite every week end, just to see friends and get drunk, that's why we don't celebrate as you do, because we do it all time, everything is an occasion to celebrate.
5. France is magic (not sure about this one)
xx
Hugo Lmr no, French men are not romantic haha. We wish they were but that's just something chick flicks sold us. The pizza hut thing is a douchy move though...
Alors en tant que française, soit le mec n'est absolument pas romantique, soit beaucoup trop. La plupart des temps c'est aussi une question de génération.
Ludivine
The pizza hunt thing was HER choice not the bf's.
Hugo Lmr
"getting drunk" les weekends est une importation de la culture anglo-saxone que les millenials française pratiquent aujourd'hui
, ma génération ne se bourrait la gueule que rarement (nouvel an, marriages, 'grosses' soirées), on buvait le soir et les w/e mais pas dans le but systématique de "get drunk".
davlmt Tu rigoles ou quoi? Se bourrer la gueule fait partie de la culture française depuis des generations.
apparently you're just dating jerks...that has nothing to do with the fact that they're french or not aha ;) My boyfriend (he is french) always accept me, whatever how much makeup I have on my face. Sometimes I wear a lot of makeup because I really like it and he compliments me about it, and when I don't wear any make up he says i'm as beautiful as usual. I'm always beautiful to him actually. :)
Some staff are true, like we don't celebrate, or the fact that we say what we think, but in a couple relationship some men try to take care of the way they talk. For example I made a diner last week. I'm a very bad cooker, and the diner was really disgusting, even I, I didn't want to eat it. But he was trying to say nice things about the cheese, the dessert etc... lol
And I'm really estonished about the behaviour of your men when you show your new cloths. They are really mean!
Wow you call their bfs jerks because they speak their mind to them instead of not caring enough to share their opinions? You are the one who sounds like a jerk here, to be fair.
I couldn't at all begin to imagine saying that my wife wore too much make-up and dressed like a 'tart.' And I'm very free with my wife and she values my opinion and I'm kind of a metrosexual. If I thought it was excessive, I'd probably expect my best female friend to have that conversation. It sounds like he is not surrounded by proper support in the friendship department. So, she's definitely dating a beta male. What kind of guy scolds a woman on make-up???
As a Frenchman, I think you both are pretty accurate, maybe except for the St Valentin day. This is THE day of the year when you HAVE to show you care for your gf / wife. So it's a nice gift, a fine dining, or a nice activity to do together (a spa session, a romantic week end..). But a Pizzat Hut? Girl, you need to make a point here with your husband. Be direct just like he is, and tell him about your frustration. Be more French :)
I disagree that Valentine's Day is THE day to show you care. You should care EVERY day some way or another.
Regarding celebration Valentine's Day like many other holly days have become something very commercial and some people prefer other ways of celebrating that are more genuine and personal. The meeting or marriage anniversary are this kind of special occasion that has more meaning.
But I agree that if you decide to celebrate, Pizza Hut is a big No (unless your first encounter was there and it has a special meaning to you). Please at least choose a true restaurant.
Disagree, Valentine's Day is THE day you do nothing special because you're supposed to be special everyday. Stay creative, that's healthy for your brain and for your relationship.
S. Calabrese
I understood it's where SHE loves to go out to eat but he doesn't, so it is a special thing TO HER.
But I'm not native English (nor French) speaker... and lazy to rewatch so I maybe got that wrong?
St Valentin day is just some over-consummer bullshit anyway. If you really love someone, you don't need to prove it with dinning or buying gifts and shit on St. V.
you got that wright perfectly. He does that to please her cause je doesn't like pizza hut and she especially ask for it :)
Wow, they sound a bit controlling. I’d be having serious words with my partner if he told me what to wear and criticised my cooking, make-up or how I cleaned the house!
i've seen this "frenchman " behavior........i find it intolerable.......i would rather be alone....
I think those guys are basically narcissistic jerks
@@MissSarahGM I know. Five years and no ring?!?!
Sarah M How its narcisistic to tell someone what you really think ??? Its just being honest lol are you serious ??? Im chocked that its really a bad thing for you seriously. If my girlfriend tell me she dont like the clothes i bought its ok because i hate hypocrite. Its not mean to being honest lol, same with make up if i dont like it i dont like it what you want me to do ? Because you will shut your mouth for 10years one day your girl/boyfriend will leave or you will leave just because of bad communication.
My girlfriend is like my coach or my supporter, so she will tell me everything she think would make me a better man and same for me, its just love, its attention, honesty, realness. If we are at the gym and she tell me oh you should work on your thight i will love it because its a proof she care for me, its a proof she give a fuck about me. Its not negative if i say you could do better, its wanting the best for your partner !
Im schoked really, yall american are sensitive as fuck lol.
Tony Sanchez do u feel offended or addressed or why are u commenting this on every comment which says they seem to be narcissists??
As a French woman, it's quite interesting to see a foreigner's point of view on French culture and habits of living. I just want to react on the last thing you girls said about exes. I guess it really depends on the type of person cause not every French man has his exes hanging around. In fact most people don't keep in touch with their exes unless they've had kids with them. Personally I've never met any of my boyfriend's exes, and there's no way on Earth I'd be okay with him staying friends with an ex.
From what you said, it sounds like your men are from Paris or nearby. Comparing all Parisian men to all French men is like comparing New Yorkers to all American men! Not really accurate, IMHO.
I dated men in Nice. Sounds really on the spot to me.
Niels ? Robin ? Are you sure you're actually dating French guys ? :-)
Ha Ha je me suis fais la même réflexion !
Maybe Cuban... lol
🤣🤣😂👍 This comment section....
Pas des prénoms français du tout haha
The issue with French men being too direct and not considerate of feelings may be part of French culture, but I think this may not particular to just the French. When I was young, I always prided myself in speaking honestly and directly. I never thought about how hurtful this could be. It wasn’t until after my divorce that I grew to reconsider my approach. I believe that men who behave this way may simply be young and immature. There are two things to consider when talking to someone. One is honesty, but the other is to convey your message with consideration of the other person’s feelings. When weighing these factors, not saying anything may be the best thing to do. Honesty should not trump the other person’s feelings. There are times when raw honesty is needed, but we still need to be careful.
I just learned that the French word franchement is where the English word frankly comes from, so it’s no wonder how the French way of speaking to each other has become a matter of cultural identity.
we stan being self aware of ur mistakes, learning from them, then growing as a person
Hear, hear! Well said! I agree 100% - I think a lot of people who pride themselves on being and bustle at the idea of people being offended by their words are often young and don't take the time to consider feelings of anyone but themselves, or sometimes, don't value the feelings of others.
perfectly put, being honest and sincere doesn't mean being inconsiderate.
ladies, as a french woman, I can say that yes, we don't like holding big parties, I celebrated my own diplomas eating an ice cream or drinking a coffee with friends, an nothing more, because for us, it's not a big deal, just a step towards the next year of studies or the search for a job. I don't celebrate Chritmas nor saints because I'm an atheist ( and we're numerous in France) so it's not part of my familial culture. Some people do, it's really up to the individuals actually.
Yes we are direct, because we tend to think that if someone ask for our opinion, he or she wants our opinion. So better be prepared to hear the truth and not a polite lie. But we act the same with our french friends, it's not only towards foreigners.
BUT, for the man who says "ho you cleaned it's cool, but its poorly done" thats not something we will all say. For many french people, this cross the border between being frank and plain rudeness.
Be assured that no matter his nationality, my answer to that will be something between "well, since you're such an expert at it,I promise not to get in your way anymore, I'll gladly let you do it for the rest of your life" or "say one more word and my foot will quickly get in touch with your buttocks" depending on my mood.
Sorry that you had to hear something like this, we're not all rude like this 😓
Purple Velvet: De l'autre côté, elle semble trouver qu' avoir fait le ménage c' est "big deal". Attendre des compliments pour ça ? Être excitée d' avoir fait une chose et attendre un feedback ( positif), ça m' arrive lorsque je fais une chose très rarement. Et je souhaite que ce soit remarqué. Sinon...faire un plat pour tout, je ne sais pas (?). "Oh...dans dix jours ça va être ma fête !" Wow ! On se calme 😂
Wow, this was sure educational. I appreciate the effort you ladies made & the comments your listeners took the time to write. I learn a lot from them as well. My impression of French men ( from movie’s, books, TV etc) being an American , was totally wrong. So thankful I never had an opportunity to be attracted to one; I would have had my feelings hurt every day. Many people, especially in the southern states were raised with the saying “ if you have nothing good to say, then say nothing at all”. I try very hard to think positively of others. If I can truthfully find something complementary to say;I will, even to a stranger on the street. It will be heartfelt & not “ fake” as your French listener’s seem to think. I have never lived in another country & I am blown away on how different our cultures are. I can see how many misunderstandings could occur. Thanks for the lesson.
Some of those points really make it seems like they're assholes rather than French habits, because telling your gf how she should or shouldn't dress or how she handled cleaning is definitely not cool.
The makeup point is rather true tho
I am french and I also lived abroad (London, Germany Switzerland Morocco etc..) and I totally disagree with what you are saying. When I lived in London with my English boyfriend he never celebrated my birthday or st valentine or Easter etc so I always was crying because I was thinking he did not love me but I realised his friends and family was similar and they treated me as a sensitive and romantic french woman ..So I disagree with what you are saying about french guys as they are much more romantic than English, Irish, German men. Please don't say things about french which are not true as I could do the same with other nationalities. Just admit and understand that it was YOUR own experiences and not all french are like what you describe. I am french and I can tell you that I was unhappy with foreigners because they never celebrated special days or occasions.
The problem is not marriage but the problem is the person you married. Many people miss this point. Marriage is good and if you invest in it, you will love it, so is not marriage that is bad, we have to get that straight, even if we get to meet 65 cows in marriage but it does not redefine marriage as a bad thing, but is the people who we meet that makes the atmosphere in it bad. The devil hates marriage, so if we do not discern and be very careful we will think that we got the it but it will be a bad chapter for us. Many woman just jump into marriage without actually discerning the guy, or really questioning if the guy has all the right qualities to be a good husband or not, mind you I don't talk about money, or status in life. Many ladies marry based on wrong things and some they just be charmed by things that does not say that the guy is a good husband material, then they end up with a monster at home. A guy who does not really have a good matured relationship with God will never love you like Christ loves the Church. It takes a praying man to build a warm home with you, not a preacher. Hi, I am single from India🇳🇪and looking for a seriously relationship Even when I was far away from You or close by signed because every my words writting by me and its now unbreakable the commitmented who will be never break In Jesus name. Its my phone number and email address +919634412325 richardelias89@yahoo.in
I'm French and dating a French. He doesn't care about my clothes or looks as long as I feel good, appreciates efforts even if he'll give direct feedback and we do celebrate every month/year anniversary and Valentine's day... Some guys are real angels too ❤️
Yes I love Frenchs girls from my heart
Hey, I know this isn't the same because I live in Spain and my hubby is Spanish and I'm American, but I think that life is hard when you are a foreigner and your partner should be willing to go the extra mile to be understanding of you and make you feel that you matter. My husband makes me feel supported and loved. People here claim to be rude too but I don't let them walk all over me and say whatever they want about weight, my clothes, my people etc.. Your point of view matters too, and just because the people around you are all doing something doesn't make it right. If anything it's a valuable opportunity to teach them! I'm not willing to swallow my feelings just because I'm living in another culture and things are different and I don't recommend that anyone do it either, especially with such personal topics!
about the quiche, french men tend to think (and say sometime) "If you don't like the answer, don't ask the question". When my ex girl friend asked me if she became fat since we where together, she didn't like my answer :-)
I'm a French woman and think the same :) You still have the "that's not WHAT you said but HOW you said it" reply ... Sure, you wouldn't say anything if you didn't care but you can still be nice about it, or at least not as rude (because it felt rude to me) as "you got fat, you should eat soups"... As far as I'm concerned, if I get this kind of reply I won't be shy either, it's only fair.
It's not rude, it's frank.
You are right, and being honest is actually a way to show that you care. The answer is not always negative neither and when it's a positive feedback you know the person means it. When I ask my mom or my friends what they think of the clothes that I'm about to buy I'm actually happy when they say "don't bother, it doesn't suit you so well! You should go for the other one you tried before" instead of "wow looks fab honey!" and don't think a word of it! ;)
C'est bien français ça. J'ai toujours envie de dire la même chose: "Si t'aimes pas la réponse, ne pose pas la question". Ah, vous les filles...
Seems like even without any question, some men always have some negative precisions to give. For free !
A sign of incredible generosity, indeed :)
(at least, generous in one way)
Oops, your guys unfortunately don't represent guys in general here in France. They just sound a bit mean, you can't blame those flaws on their nationality because they aren't all like this, BY FAR
Yuck. If this represents French masculinity...that sounds like a shitty dating experience all around.
La quiche mouillé c'est peut être à cause de la crème fraiche allégée, ça devrait être interdit la crème fraiche allégée
Samuel Louvet , ça peut aussi être le plat qui retient trop l'humidité. Ou parfois aussi si on ne la retire pas d'un plat, le fond devient tout mou. Bises.
Ou bien qu'elle a mis trop de lait/crème par rapport aux œufs. Nous on mesure naturellement, à l'œil, à force d'avoir vu nos parents les faire ; pour une étrangère le pif-au-mètre est nécessairement plus difficile...
Toutes ces théories sont valides, mais n'oublions pas l'essentiel: La crème allégée, ça devrait être interdit!
on est d'accord
Et je te decerne le prix du meilleur com jamais écrit sur youtube ! ++++
Staying friend with exes is a personal, individual thing, it's not a french culture thing at all.
Same thing with boyfriend commenting your outfit !
Wow, all the guys you have dated seem really rude!
the day my boyfriend will say a thing about my clothes, he can just walk by the door, naked, and never come back. I swear !!! ahah
Hi ! I must say that not everybody is comfortable with staying in touch with his/her ex-boyfriend/girlfriend. I'm a french guy and I couldn't be with a girl who is still in touch with her exes, for the reasons you said, like in my romantic state of mind, if two people got together, they just can't go back to nothingness or any kind of healthy friendship. And that kind of messing with exes sometimes hides secret sexual affaire and/or leads to getting together again when the official relationship breaks down. Well, just to say that this is not the same with every french guy ! and by the way, I liked this video ! really interesting !
I agree with you! I'm American, and it is not common here. Once you have been intimate with someone, it is hard to be "just friends". Jealousy would be a big problem. It may be OK if you live long distance. But if you are in a new relationship and you still hang out with exes, no! You have moved on. But how do you know the other person doesn't still have feelings? That's why for me.....if it's over, that's it!
Chester Leaf : Thank you! I agree 100% ☺️
That's how it should be. I am from India, dating a French man in a long distance relationship.
Chester, your comment brings me some relief!!
I don’t trust in ex’s who want to be just friends. There are feelings still intact and there is always a motive behind not letting go. Unless the man has a kid with the woman that is obviously the exception, but limited contact and communication for the child only.
Being French and now living abroad and dating foreigners I got to realise that all of the above are true. I definitely got in trouble for forgetting 6-month anniversaries, I got in trouble for giving direct feedback to my friends, I got in trouble for basically everything you said.
Pizza Hut pour la Saint Valentin, il est radin. Au minimum un vrai restaurant (pas une chaine) avec un décor agréable, un cadeau est fortement recommandé.
C'est elle qui veut aller chez Pizza Hut. Quelle tristesse.
As a French woman, this video and the comments alike just inspires me with : " Yeah, typical French machismo and assholism in general. ( and female obsession with being thin- kind of low scale anorexy, depriving yourself from food every day because being thin is compulsory, and preaching how natural all that is) I think French men are unfortunately often just not very respectful of what their wives and girlfriends feel , and like to impose their views and expect women to conform to what they think. Latin culture basiccally. I understand that for Anglo-saxon women, it might be shocking. Well actually it is. Not all French men are that way however. I know of a few who are not , and they wouldn't tell you that kind of behaviour is normal. But you have to find them , not that easy. In conclusion, to me it just shows how women are still just second -grade citizens in France, the subservience that's expected in public life , the lack of equality in terms of wages etc, is mirrored in the private life. Or the other way round.
You can still find yourself at a party with friends, and the ones cooking and serving the food are still women, while the men remain seated the whole time and get on chatting pretending not to see the plates have to be changed... Still a long way to go...
Pinkdragonfly best comment!
"les hommes ne sont pas assez..." "Les hommes sont trop..." Par contre les femmes sont toujours parfaites c'est incroyable. Vous êtes tellement parfaites que vous ne vous remettez jamais en question.
"Citoyens de seconde zone" HAHAHAHA . Jerry.
Quand vous êtes payées moins cher que les hommes c'est un crime par contre quand la majorité des SDF sont des hommes la c'est tout à fait normal. Hehehe merci pour cette tranche de rigolade, ça me fascine toujours autant de voir que les femmes se considèrent comme la perfection à la surface de la terre.
Curieux de se plaindre de ses amis et de ses relations alors qu'on les choisis :) Si ma copine ou mes amis filles se sentaient dénigrer d'une quelconque manière avec moi j'ose espérer qu'elle se casserait rapidos.
Faut choisir ses fréquentations les gars
no
Hello, I'm French, and I find your first boy friend rude for not celebrating your success. When my wife did get her exams, I was there for the ceremony so we could celebrate together. So that kind of behaviour is not "all french guys like". About Valentine's day...some celebrate it...lots find it a bit commercial and don't even care about it : that's my case, my wife knows and agrees with me. About the comment after you did some cleaning...well you just have a husband who is very careful about that very point. When my wife just tidy the house, I'm already glad and I don't care that the windows are not perfectly clean ;) About make up : completely agree although I can't say it's general in France. I know a lot of guys who will love girls with make up. I don't. About fashion, well, can't say : I hate fashion and I just don't care about it. If you look good, that's perfect ;) Good video overall ;)
J
On point for Direct Feedback. I just told my guy this morning I’ll go out for a run and he told me “I wasn’t asking for your time. Enjoy it.” I was hurt until I saw this. Thanks for sharing guys.
I have a French boyfriend and he does nothing that you said in this video haha but good video anyway
Not Even French why foud the exception i am French and for me i was shocked by your point of view Just 90% of video i says wtf why make 3-4 French like the exemple of all French guys i love Valentine's Day i always make my Best etc but the problem it's when man like me live why they good rules are romantic we are fucked hard and we suffer by they French girl etc so we are not expansive i can say hide compare to they other men Who are not like i have says before or we found à girl and we don't let her go away and want to finish live With her or Just the other way our population of good men and romantic decrease because a lot of men when we see stats prefer the suicid because a relationship was end etc.. 😢 we are here romantic French but we suffer in the shadow... and sure i hate makeup etc natural is the Best nothing else is better
sorry for my english i think now your eyes bleed sorry
the english people is very jalous them france , and the englishman et tres alcoolique .. pas de lecons a recevoir des anglais .. dans n importe quel domaine d ailleurs
Not Even French mine doesn't do that as well but he has been in the Caribbean for a while which is where we live right now
Gia Megan same
After spending years with someone the physical attraction might be gone but not the friendship so why not stay friends , unless you are unsure of yourself or your relation you shouldn't have any problems.
OH LA LA !!! vous faites un amalgames de vos rencontres les filles !! sans vouloir être disgracieux, tous les Français ne sont pas comme ceux que vous avez décrit !! Heureusement !!!
Je ne me reconnais pas dans votre description....Pas de saint valentin ou partir à Pizza Hut...MDR !!! vous êtes tombés sur des fainéants de la fêtes...Bref, je vous souhaite le meilleur pour la suite mais vous devriez éviter de généraliser vos témoignages... A+
Entièrement ok
I think you guys were too much into the cliché. As a French who's live both in mainland France (Paris, Lille...) and in the Caribbean, this ultra romantic cliché is false. I mean there's romance but not more or less than in other cultures.
Also, that notion that French girls are always well dressed up LOL. I mean most tourists will tend to go to Paris and would tend to stay in the centre -; and depending on where you go, yes you'd see some nicely dressed girls... and moving away from there, most girls are quite simply dressed in general.
Yes most French guys aren't into girls being overdressed and baked up in make up. It gives the impression of someone being full of herself and to be honest it's just quite weird here. I personally think that this comes from Paris vs. the rest of France.
Paris has given an image to the country that not many people share (fashion, lifestyle...) and factually, from my experience, a lot of French people are just not conceiving themselves in the cliché Parisian mold that France is known for.
In the north of France for example, most girls will wear jeans and normal clothes casually. Some would still put heels obviously and other feminine stuffs but it never really "over the top" like certain girls I've seen in Paris chic areas.
Don't forget that France cut the heads of kings and queens in the past (for instance in the French revolution in 1759) and has had quite a hard time reconsidering the opulence of royalty and the heritage that comes with it.
It's also true we are extremely direct in our relationships with other people. We don't really like to turn around the pot. You can observe that regularly and many sociological studies have shown that.
France is known for Voltaire or Montesquieu and are probably the best at sarcasm/irony. So most of times its not meant in a bad way but complaining about everything and nothing [even if it's meant to please] is a national sport here ^^
Any ways, I've been on many sides in France and my conclusion is that basically, the marketing cliché has worked well with Paris but simply does not reflect the reality of the country in terms of lifestyle by any means.
We're just normal people like any others and while it can be flattering to be qualified as the most romantic people in the universe, that's just entirely subjective and depends on the personality of the person you fall with, where you are in France etc.
K. John ah kind of like how the USA is told to be the best place to live at. Ya you got free will, but Ima tell you, many people are leaving XD
You are an African. Nothing you can do will ever change that. Go back to Africa, there's plenty of room for you there. Leave France--and all of Europe--for ethnic French and Europeans.
What are you even on to ?
Z_Goombah dude you are dumb as hell. First off, I'm not african, I'm french and from the carribbean. Second, you need to shut the hell up with your racism. I'm French, I'm staying in France unless stated otherwise by the authorities. Now give me a break.
Z_Goombah you're a racist
Strict boundaries lead the way for me so I cut all communications with exes and their family members. If we didn't work out, chances are you won't add value after the breakup. I choose to put that energy into my current love circle. I've never invited men to shop with me and usually don't encourage them to participate in female oriented activities. Certainly not style or body criticism because it forces them to focus on what is important to our future. I have a demanding career and simply won't put up with negativity at home. In return, I expect a strong leader and decision maker.
Yes I can really relate. On just the first few weeks of dating here in Vancouver, my Parisian man told me, "I think those sunglasses don't quite suit your face so well." Well! As a Canadian woman I was caught off guard but laughed it off. Later comments followed on my nail polish, and an occasional item or two made me sensitive and a bit hurt (and stubborn and digging in my heels, as you mentioned, ha!!). UNTIL-- I read a book on French vs American culture and it explained that they just do this as a "looking out for your best interests" kind of a thing. Gosh, it explained so much.
...Even now though I regret that I do think we misunderstand one another more than we might just due to cultural differences, and I find that a bit sad. I think I still take offense more than I might for example about how he says some things. However I'm learning to give it back to him with honest feedback eg "I think you need a haircut soon", or "hmmm, I'm not crazy about that jacket." And definitely, the two things I said looked poorly on him he threw away, (yay!) so I thought that was a win. Although still-- if someone likes something and are happy in it, shouldn't we just keep our mouth shut? (So Canadian of me. I felt guilty bringing it up. ). However... maybe that explains how fashion here has really slipped and too many wear sloppy outfits without any consideration, hahaha. None of us are keeping the other in line. ;) Oh- however he did say what a relief it was to be here in Vancouver and not to have to fit so much to the pressure that exists in Paris to be, or look a certain way. It's a bit more relaxed here; well generally. Some of us still care! ;)
I also ended up in tears one night when he had returned home from travelling and I'd taken the trouble to do a shop for him while he napped and recovered, and then to make a meal. Because I'd expected appreciation for the effort and got a critique (well meaning though it was) instead, it was too much! Okay, so one of the dishes was an utter failure (so horrible I had to throw it out, -- okay wait, I threw it over the balcony to the squirrels below while blinking back angry tears, hahahahaha) I laugh now, but that stung at the time. And he was surprised it upset me. ;)
And the other similarities: honest interest and critiques on my outfits, hairstyle and homewares, and because he has such an excellent sense of style (mostly) I can trust his opinion very well. He's a joy to go shopping with! And yes, he wears the cliche scarfs, and yes he smells really good, and knows his way easily around a boutique cheese shop. And has charm to spare. ;) I also love that he always carries my heavy bags for me. He is also-- the most selfish and carefree driver (it's so embarrassing here in Vancouver--- haha) and has no trouble nudging ahead when pedestrians should have the right of way, or shouting and insulting someone if they have done something he deems outrageous. I actually rolled down the window once and apologized to a pedestrian once!! Ahaha! My boyfriend of course was insulted. (I'm laughing).
And it's true how the French just throw themselves into the beginning of a relationship, and are mortified that we sometimes lightly date a few people over coffees before we feel like we want to really date one person in earnest. Because N Americans, we need time to consider first! I think a compromise between the two is the best approach. And of course neither approach safeguards against possible future heartache, so I suppose both have merit.
And now we are exes and he has started dating someone new. Fortunately although I am not French I subscribe to the "more friends the merrier" approach and I'm sure when I meet his new girlfriend I won't have a difficult time being friendly. (Hopefully). But of course it will be easier when I have a new boyfriend myself !! (Preferably another French). Yes there is something I fell in love with about these guys. But I'm sure you two know all about that! x
warmestglow , Thank you for sharing ! As a french man (Not freshman anymore hé hé ), I still think that there's a way to say things with a more diplomatique touch. I think it's important to say our truth but not to the expense of the others self. I also heard that in a relationship it is important not to take asomption about what the other's intention is or when he's not clearly saying things (Am I clear? ). I think it's better to find out as soon as possible to avoid misunderstandings. Hope it brings some insight here and not the opposit. Xx
Well, I think the difference is that the American will indeed "date", that is test the waters, while not considering s/he really in a relationship. After a while, s/he will decide to go for it or not. While the French will tend to enter quickly directly in a full blown relationship, and will expect that you're not seeing anybody else. But in fact, it's *still* a trial period, and that the relationship will continue isn't a given. Basically, it's a if you were tasting dishes. The American will tend to take a small bite of each, and think about which he prefers, then sit down for good and order the dish. The French will only try one dish, eat half of it, and then only decide if he likes it enough, or if he rather would have something else.
Which is going to be a problem both ways. The French will expect much more and take things more seriously at an early stage of a relationship (the dating part), but on the other hand, past a certain point (when the relationship is "exclusive"), then it's the American who will expect much more, assuming that the issue is settled when it really isn't.
Basically, the "trial period" for a Frenchman is somewhere in between what an American would consider "dating" and what he would consider "exclusive relationship", which is going to be confusing for both.
olivier dastein wow great figure of speach ! What a clear way to put it! Brilliant !
Yes Oliver; very well put and indeed that confusion does arise between the two! Although I would also have to add that from my (Vancouver) perspectice, a French man throws themselves body, heart and soul into a starting a relationship after a mere blink of an eye... and gives precious little consideration for the ideas of a) is he himself ready for a new relationship, b) do our values match, and c) what do I want to bring to the relationship and what qualities am I looking for in someone else?
And sure, this does sound a bit boring, and like it might kill passion and joie de vivre, but---- to just throw yourself in is more of the approach I would have from 15 to 25 years old, where I would "trust fate" and just hope for the best in the men who were put in my path. I did precious little pre-qualifying for if these guys would suit my best interests or peace of mind. As a woman older than 25 and knowing myself a lot better I find now that to be much more selective about the beginning is worth the outcome. I mean, my 49 year old ex, (a Parisian) is now giving a new relationship a try with a new woman who lives thousands of miles away because "fate seems to have brought them together" so "maybe that means something, and maybe this is why I'm "meant" to pursue this long distance relationship". And okay great! That's very romantic. And hopeful.... And idealistic. Or just plain naive??
Haha, well to each their own. There is firstly no way of deliberately calculating at the beginning so that the relationship is guaranteed not to dissolve after a time, and it's true that the idea of a relationship is really to grow and enjoy and challenge and enhance your life... I'm not sure if all of them are meant to last our whole lives (which however is a topic for a whole other discussion). But yes, I'm not sure if there is more or less regret from French lovers or Canadian lovers depending on their approaches. Perhaps in the end it's an even race! ;) x
Oh, friends with the exes that's a big one here in the US too. Most men & women in the US are not tolerant of their partner still being friends with an ex. Especially if it got to the point of having sex in the previous relationship. Some think it's okay, but most believe that in the name of love you should never do that. It helps keep things very clear for both the ex but also the new partner what's what since it's common to still carry romantic feelings for an ex and if the relationship with the new partner hits a rough spot one could be tempted to go to their ex for comfort that can get complicated very fast, or the ex could offer it. I'm not friends with a single one of my exes and they have no interest in being friends with me either though each break up was amicable. It's understandable & pretty much respected here. Exes are a slippery slope so most of us in the US avoid being friends with them if possible. Blurring the lines on exes is something Americans are generally uncomfortable with. We don't always like labels & rules but some we like to keep so boundaries are clear to all involved and blurring them is more likely to lead to things becoming messy. If one cheats, most here will likely do so with an ex because they're familiar. If an ex said he wants to be friends, I'd think 'He doesn't want a relationship with me but wants to be friends? Oh, he must want me to be the piece on the side until he finds another woman to take my place.' They only ex we have to accept in the US is an ex one of you have a child with. Which is common in the US. So don't be surprised if you're dating an American and they get upset that your friends with even one ex. Some might be tolerant, others won't. Just saying. Enjoyed your video, warm regards.
As a french man (and I first have to apologise in advance for my poor english), I'm a little bit irritated with the way you depict our way of life and being. I certainly don't want to be rude, but I can't agree with some of the things you said. We french people don't celebrate as many things for sure, but we do celebrate a graduation (but you were right with the no gift argument).
As for a Valentine's day, I would definitely do something to show my wife that I love her, some kind of a little show of affection, and I would make her dinner in a romantic ambiance, with music, candles etc etc. (in order to wipe any ambiguity, I've been married for 4 years, and we've been in a relationship for 14 years).
I do agree on the other side that we french people might be quite direct and frank, but we also know when to be polite (I woudn't have tell you that your pie (was it ?) had something wrong, unless being told to be honest, because you made it in a good end.)
I disagree. You might celebrate a graduation, but have you ever seen in France a "prom" or graduation party that is even remotely as much of a big deal as they're in the USA? As for the rest, it varies depending on the person, but I at least am a counter-example to you wrt St-Valentine's day (which I frankly hate) and frankness (as someone put it, "if you don't want the answer, don't ask the question", and besides aren't we *supposed* to be open and honest with our partners?). Same wrt exes. Several people (not you) mentioned that it wasn't really normal to keep seeing them but I do, and personally, I would find a partner who would want me to stop seeing them unacceptably jealous and/or controlling.
You're right, even if we celebrate a graduation, it's not as a big deal as in America. I don't like and I don't dislike neither St-Valentine's day for it's commercial aspect, I just think it is a good occasion to be even nicer with our partner (if possible ^^). Concerning exes, I think it's not a problem to still see them as long as there are no ambiguity whatsoever about our feelings
I would say that the French, and most Europeans do not fall in to the trap of commercially generated artificial celebrations that do more to benefit restaurants and supermarkets.
Same thing with the insincere practice of buying a second rate card for minor occasions. However, a lot of French people will sent a card wishing a happy new year.
Wow what sad relationships you guys have, its not all frenchmen in general that do those things, it just seems that you're men are probably not that into you, also not all french men keep they're ex's as friends for the most part when they do it's because they're still messing with each other behind you're back
So timely. I've been dating a French man for a year. Your experiences have basically mirrored my own. I have learned to minimize my expectations and also that things move at a different pace (s l o w e r...) when dating a French man, or at least mine. Looking forward to part two.
ElectricFeel , oh I remember dating an americain girl at the americain embassy in Canada. We went to a restaurant and after the meal, we walked a bit in Ottawa, then we kissed! She said that I was slow on the move! What a smack in the face. I felt so stupid. I then leart the hard way because she never got to see me again oops! Oh yes and also I invited her for the meal but she refused. That was another difference. I realised that the idea was to have sex, and she would have prefered me to come to her appartment and keep things simple. Ha ! I was 20 and as you guessed I'm french.
Robert BOIS cool story. However I was referring to the pacing and intensity of the relationship. For example, no big to do about Valentine's Day, when to cohabit, the whole hugging thing, etc.
ElectricFeel I guess that the pacing and intensity of the relationship must quite depend on the match of the couple. Like passion that last for 3 years for example, I think it is not related to having a french man.
Robert BOIS haha thats because she didnt wanna date u she wanted to bone and when you didnt go for the bait she probably felt rejected and like she was too forward...which she likely was.
Miguel Marquez thanks, ha ha, yeah eventually I got the picture ... a wee bit too late. Bouaah ha ha!
My experience has been a little different! The French guys I’ve dated also didn’t celebrate every little thing, were also very direct with feedback, and had vocal opinions on my clothes. But they preferred just as much makeup as I usually wear, just less dramatic eyeliner and neutral toned eyeshadows. As for hair, they both preferred “natural looking” waves as opposed to my actual naturally curly hair.
It’s so funny that you mention the ex situations. That’s something I also found to be quite true!
Great video ladies, cheers x
When we meet people from another culture, it’s always hard to know what comes from his own personality, and what comes from his culture. I had this experience with a japanese girl.
As a french guy, I think that some points in this video are true, but others are more relative to your experience than the french culture in general.
- The fact of not celebrating much is true ! I love that about the american culture. The way you celebrate everything is awesome.
- About being direct, it’s a nice way to talk about negativity (in my opinion). I don’t think people in the USA are more hypocrite than french people. I experienced hypocrism everyday in my life here. I think that french culture has a way to more stress out negative stuff than americans. But the truth is probably in the middle (between being direct and being negative)
- About seing the exes, it’s absolutely not in the french culture, but probably more in the people you’ve met. From my experiences, we usually don’t keep seing the exes in France (unless you have no choice)
- About comment on weight, i wouldn’t say everyone does that here in France, it’s still a minority of people, but indeed it would be more common than in the USA indeed.
..
Have lived in France over 14 years, and #1 about about not celebrating holidays is 100 % percent accurate. Your videos are fantastic..!
I don't recognize myself in any things that you talk about. As many people says in comments the most of french guys are not like you describe us. Sorry for my enplish i hope you will understand after all. I respect women I'm romantic and my wife can wear what she want. I respect all difference of culture and i adapt myself. Good continuation girls
These are soo true! Wish I would have known this 10 years ago. Especially the stuff about direct feedback and fashion. I’m super sensitive and it’s hard to get over my husband telling me the salad had too much lemon, or my sister in law telling me my hair is “dry”! Or a friend saying he doesn’t like one of my tattoos! The directness is part of what I love about French culture, but it’s difficult when directed onto you 😂
Bonjour!
Juste pour vous dire que certains des points que vous avez abordé ne sont pas des problèmes dû à la culture mais bien à vos hommes les filles. L’histoire de la st Valentin du diplôme et des ex qu’ils soient français ou non c’est pas ca le problème battez vous un peu parce que là y’a des raisons de le faire je suis française mon copain a grandi ici et jamais j’accepterais ça de sa part.
One point has made me wonder until I remembered something about french culture. We do not buy clothes to our girlfriend/wife because in France it is considered extremely rude to ask a woman about her weight or the size of her clothes. It is mostly considered a taboo subject. As much in fact as anything that is linked to woman intimacy (purse, drawers, etc)
Wow, quite accurate! If I can add something: if a french guy does not give you direct feedback, it might mean he just doesn't care. We start to be direct when it actually matters.
And it's not just about make-up. Again it's not 100% of us, but you can forget to shave your legs and arm pit for several weeks, normally we won't even notice.
Nicolas Gondran 100% vrai !
I've got to say, as a frenchman, that French women do all mostly just wear jeans and black/gray, quite formless and conservative, and I don't find it very attractive. I personally like to see colours! and skirts! and yes seeing some skin sometimes is quite nice too IMO.
I'm a believer in less makeup. Perhaps a good followup video would be to do the same thing with the boyfriends. Find out what they wish they had known.
Rick Chollett You get to decide about your own makeup, not your girlfriend's.
Rick Chollett or how about why thay seem to think its ok to not where deodorant? Pee uuuuuu and all the body hair thay are not into waxing 😝 yuck. And whats up with the showers its water it wont burn there skin.
Yeah, sure, we don't take showers nor we wipe our asses after going to the saint trinity of toilets - yeah, we love toilets too after eating our mighty baguette.
But did you know that it is a survival skill? The more we are clean, the more critical minded people like you are coming to our smelly and sweaty beasts country, we would be too much in there, France is sooooo small after all 🙄
Cliché!
I just realised how much French I can be. Thank you very much for this direct and lovely feedback. Much appreciated! I don’t have any dating intentions in mind, but It’s shifting my perspective regarding my relationships in general. Being sincere is still a quality in my point of view, but « Je vais mettre de l’eau dans mon vin ». No doubt you understand what that means.
After reading the comments I’m surprised at other people’s reactions 😅 These are definitely things I have experienced and had to deal with as an anglophone dating a Frenchie. Mother in laws can always vary (I ditched the worst one 🤣) however from my personal experience I have noticed this behaviour in most French guys I know! Especially their opinion on clothes!! I just reply that I really don’t care, but that doesn’t stop me getting the remark in the first place, and his close friends do this too! (And then I start getting crazy with my fashion choices to wind them up / embarrass them in public 🤣)
Very interesting video. Being French and married to a Colombian woman for 14 years now and living in the US, I can definitely relate. There’s definitely a pattern of cultural habits like the fact that we don’t celebrate events/holidays as much as Americans, or Colombians for that matter, but I’d like to ponder this a little bit though. Writing birthday cards or cards in general is really the minimum I think. So what you say is true to a certain extend but not congratulating your significant one for a graduation for instance is just not normal. So that depends on the personality of the guy too, but I agree there’s a pattern here.
Also, being very direct and criticizing is very very true! It’s very cultural, regardless of the gender. It’s the way French people work. We’re very direct, say things like we think they are. We think there’s always a way to improve and that we’re doing a favor in telling people what we think instead of saying “you look gorgeous” while you’re actually wearing the ugliest outfit you could possible choose out of your wardrobe LOL. That’s also a way for French people to be true to one another, while here in the US, we oftentimes find work or friend relationships to be a little fake and leads sometimes people to be flaky, which really, isn’t great at all. So sometimes this is a big disappointment. People are used to say that it’s hard to make friends in France, but once you become friends, it’s more likely to be a true friendship, while in the US it seems like you can easily make friends, but they’ll actually rarely become real friends.
Finally, the thing with exes might be something with the people you dated, but I can assure you French people, or more specifically French guys, are not all like that at all. I strongly disagree on that point.
Thanks for your video, that what a funny one!
Wow, my experience was SO DIFFERENT to yours!!
NonStopParis like what ? :)
One point stroke me, it's about exes.
Most of the time, after a relationship, most girls prefer to cut all ties with their previous boyfriend.
Your examples makes me think that you met guys with a wide group a friends that always see each others, and of course, in case of an old relationship, the two partners still see each other.
sure, I'm french and many thing are not true forme....
@NonStopParis What Thoses girls fail to understand is that not every people is the same. For example, some people won't celebrate Saint Valentin, while other not only celebrate this, but will celebrate the date they met for the first time.
And some guys will be excited to celebrate the date they met their concubine... and won't even speak about Valentine's Day because that's commercial horse shit ! C'est juste là pour te faire acheter des putains de chocolats et des bagues à prix d'or histoire de relancer ce putain de PIB au mois de fev... oups sorry. Yeah, everyone's different, and if you ask, I can write you a love letter... for 5€ only. Because I'm a romantic that way
Seriously I work with French men who speak English and the experience these 'girls' are having with the men they are with may be constructed because of socioeconomic class. Not all French men behave they way these women have prescribed them to be.
i don't understand why people from other countries believe our men to be so romantic and with an obvious caring side and all.
Eusana Galilée Because they are!!! They’re so beautiful as well 😍 I also think the same for spaniards, Italians, and Portuguese people
they are dick heads
Eusana Galilée it's called cinema and literature. Cliché stereotypes about the French are reinforced.
When you'll see the average behaviour in some countries worldwide maybe you'll revise a little your judgement ;-) Everything's relative...
You're right about saying that it's not necessarily a 'french male' factor but French Culture, overall. For example, in the US, I think it's common for information to be sugar-coated so as to avoid offence, whereas in France (and other parts of the world) people find softening their opinions as a waist. I guess there are pros and cons in both -- to all their own! Great vid.
Can you do a version for guys, like have your forgeiner guy friends and have them express their opinion on French women
I come from a French Canadian culture and am married to a native Mexican. Every thing you guys said about American/New Zealander attitude reflects my husband. I, of course, reflect your French better halves’. I had to learn to “give in” into your culture because he just made such a big show about everything and I felt horrible not doing the same for him. As much as I try I can never top him. I do feel so spoiled. Do your guys like the attention?
Pizza Hut for Valentine's day ?! I'm french and I just think your man is rude !
So glad to find you guys!! I've been married to my Frenchman for about a year and it's fun to see people who have gone through similar things 😊
Not Even French USA! Arizona 😊
I am french and I never stayed in contact with my exes, even though it did not end badly, because I personally don't feel like it. To me it's kind of weird. And a lot of my friends (girls and boys) don't talk anymore to their exes either.
My boyfriend is spanish and on the other way it's exactly what is said in the video : the big group with some 20 friends that know each other since secondary school, hooking and breaking up with each other when they were younger. I try not to think about it too much, because although I know that now they are just friends, I still feel a little uncomfortable with this idea.
So according to my own experience I would'nt say that keeping in touch with the exes is something necessarily connected to french culture.
Also, the natural beauty thing is hard for me! I like to get dolled up and experiment with makeup and style and I never want to be “boring” and look like all the other French girls.. but I tend to get some looks, for sure. That being said, it’s nice to feel I’m appreciated for natural beauty as well.
Hi Girls
I think you have dated the worst kind of guys because there are some adorable French men who enjoy makeup and all of the efforts women make for themselves or for others. A guy who dares to comment on your cooking or on your outfit is a jerk no matter where he's from. Period. It's true that we French people don't celebrate lots of events but if you care about these sort of things the guy you date will care just to make you happy. And that is such bullshit to stay friends with your exes ! So please don't stereotype "French men" by associating this definition to a certain type of douchebags (from Paris I might add).
"And that is such bullshit to stay friends with your exes" well it is youre problem. If you can't understand that, you are not mature enought or you have an unhealthy relation with youre ex. The beauty of frienship is that it goes over old sentiments who does not exist. If my ex is still cool and funny, she's a friend. And not trust the one you love is not really a good way to love for me.
pariocean chicago and who are you to antagonize me like that? I don't need your opinion. If you have a comment to add, please do, but elsewhere.
na anglosaxon-style makeup is 100% shit
It's not about commenting. If you don't ask, then it's fine. If you're asking "do I look ok" or "is it good", you obviously expect an honest answer, not a lie to make you feel good.
ChicAmazingMuse didn't you just stereotype French people from your own experience?
:)))))
I am a French girl and your video made me laugh so loud because you are RIGHT ahah we are like this and it sounds normal! Cultural gaps are always so funny
So interesting to listen to you girls, thanks for sharing your opinion on the matter. Bear in mind, that it's equality painful for French ( especially for girls) when you date somebody who is from that French praising culture such as Anglo-saxon to be a Godness whereas we are pretty down-to-earth generation today and you have that person going on and on about French being perfect at kissing, French smelling Dior even sweating at the gym, French shopping only Louis-Vuitton, French romantic, French eating only healthy stuff... It's so much pressure, I wish I was British/American/Aussie sometimes because nothing is expected from you as girl but just to be yourself
Peut-être que la pression, c'est toi-même qui te la mets par rapport aux attentes des autres. Si tu apprenais à t'en foutre, tu ferais un grand pas. Si tu sors avec un mec pour qui tu es un cliché ambulant, c'est que le problème ne vient pas de toi. S'il se trouve être déçu par la réalité que tu lui montres/expliques, c'est qu'il ne vaut pas la peine que tu perdes ton temps pour lui.
I'd just like to say as female English resident, born and bred in this country with English family heritage , there is still pressure. Maybe a different kind of pressure to what other nationalities are used to but to think English women are accepted just as they are is incorrect.
Quite right!! The issue is personal nothing to do with others but still quite annoying those stereotypes... regardless if they are good or bad.
Some of these are so relatable! They do make very honest comments about the makeup (he once told me, when I wore a SLIGHTLY darker lipstick: what's all that... Paint... In your face?) and the clothes. They are also, I think, kinda judgy. Not speaking about boyfriends, just French people in general. Also, the ex thing is soo true, a French friend of mine always goes to the theater with his ex (they were together for 7 years) and to bars and stuff with his girlfriend AND friends he has hooked up with in the past and I don't know everyone is super chill about it...
French people are never happy seriously it's quite frustrating (i'm french)
Where do you live in France?
Thanks for sharing! I have lived close to such people as you have just described and I would actually suggest that if you do not want a miserable life, if possible, just be more selective - they do not deserve you at all. God Bless you both, xoxo!
Omg! so true! my mum when I come back from germany: "Oh my God! I ve sent you to Berlin as a model and you are back as Monserat Caballe!"
Hi! I'm from Switzerland, so I can relate to some of what you pinpointed here.
So… Direct feedback:
I liked this video… somehow. I think its main quality is the hints you give away, that kind of make a statement about how you are conscious that all of this is purely cultural and, in some instances, healthier than how things roll in the North American culture. I get a sense that, in a way, you know how shallow the American culture is.
Whenever I watch one of your most famous shows that made their way through to Europe (Sex and the City, Big Bang Theory, How I met your Mother, you name it…) that dedicates a whole episode on the "annoying jealous girlfriend" or "overly territorial boyfriend" issues, or the "I was expecting you to [blablabla] and I'm so disappointed in you for not guessing and for being so not romantic" issue, I can't help but think: just how many people actually identify themselves with such idiotically behaving characters? Do these people realize, watching the show slumped on their couch, THEY are the laughing stock? (Truth be told, I really don't think these issues are exclusive to the North American culture… People behave just like that right at my doorstep. We just don't produce that many shows about it, AND most people wouldn't claim these behaviors to be a part of their culture. Rather, they would see it as a collateral damage of being human, something common, yet something you shouldn't be proud of, something that's not desireable.)
Welp, talked a lot, didn't say much, but here I was :P
Please keep up with not wearing so much make-up nor tart stuff ;) Oh, and your friend looks like she's having less fun in France… Maybe she needs a hug? Just a thought.
Now that's rich. I just finished watching The big bang theory, season 4, episode 18 and it was exactly about the mentioned issues (again, it's not the first)!
Territorial love is so messed up from the start… Ugh. "Love"… Are we even certain that word means anything if one has to try and control who the "loved one" is friend with?
Anyway, not the point of your video. But still…
Hey girls you should ask yourself : Are you atracted towards jerks ? You should be a bit more selective.
I think that the less hair, less makeup section isn’t actually exactly what you said but related to the OH SO TRUE AND DISTURBING #2. In the sense that they will give you feedback which North Americans just won’t do because they might think you’ll take it personal. But no. 2 is hialrious and so true! Am Canadian and been dating a French guy for 5 yrs and can totally relate!
Love this video ❤️ part 2 please !
Coming from an Asian background, the down-with-the-exes is def a big shock for me and I still cannot get used to it.
蔡宜庭 , I'm a french person, I find it touchy to see an ex with my girlfriend/wife. I would avoid it as much as possible. It can fuel jalousy and other unhealthy feelings to my point of view. It could even be a sign that the guy has some narcistical issue.
Love your video :) but I'm french and don't agree with some of these points : about "ex", my boyfriend is really jealous and it's inconceivable to him that I spend time with my ex boyfriend. I'm more like "okay you do what ever you want and talk to who ever you want BUT you have to make your own limits. Go to the cinema with a girl... LOL don't try". And I agree with your point of view, I can't be "friend" with my ex, there will always have someting even if i'm not in love with him anymore, i can set up i'm his friend but in my head it's more complicated. (sorry for mistakes, please correct me)
C'est très intéressant comme témoignage car ce sont effectivement des différences culturelles auxquelles on ne penserait pas.
Ces différences amènent à des conflits alors que chacun (français ou néo-zélandais/américains) croit être dans son bon droit. C'est donc une bonne chose d'avoir en tête ces différences de perception pour pouvoir s'adapter à l'autre.
Merci pour la vidéo !
This is interesting. Until very recently, I was not particularly interested in France or the French until I stated tutoring a young Frenchwoman in English. We are not only building her English language skills, but I am beginning to see cultural aspects of the French like these you describe here that are quite appealing to me. Now it's time to formally study French and learn much more!
Je suis Belge et je tenais à approuver ce que vous avez dit sur le maquillage. Chaque fois que je vais en Angleterre (surtout là-bas), je trouve les filles vraiment beaucoup trop maquillées.. Je me doute bien que ça fait partie de votre culture mais sachez que si vous allez en France ou en Belgique, plus une fille sera maquillée, plus elle sera considérée comme 'superficielle'... C'est a dire, le genre de fille bonne pour une nuit mais qu'on assumerait jamais pour une vie entière...
Une fille qui paraît belle naturellement attirera plus les envies.
Merci pour cette vidéo très cool.
C'est bien pour ça que je suis contente d'avoir déménagé en Grande Bretagne où personne ne te juge sur tes vêtements et ton maquillage !
I am French, and that’s so interesting because all of that is totally true and I’d never notice until now !
I've always been that kind of hopeless romantic that would write love letters, paying attention to what my girlfriend wants or thinks, yet I always end up getting dumped and that whole dating thing kind of eludes me now, to the point I've almost given up dating... From where I stand I'd say you're both dating perfect douchebags but I'm in a bad position to claim you're doing it wrong. It's a cultural thing in France to have high standards, but being mean and/or critical is frown upon and I can't quite grasp why you would let someone do that to you. I don't know any woman that would accept a date at Pizza Hut for Valentine's Day, even as a compromise. I do agree too much makeup kills the mood, but no man in their right mind should comment on how you dress or what you've done for them. I don't keep in touch with my exes that much either. I'm really confused after watching such videos and I feel like crap. I'm either doing it completely wrong or I'm not made for dating. Apparently you're only worth dating if you're also worth getting punched in the face.
Oh my god 😂😂😂😂 I am French, living in the U.K. and dating an English guy. Every single thing you said has been brought up at some point in our relationship, that is so funny 😂😂.
Hey, I just stumbled upon your video. Pretty interesting^^ I'm a french man myself, living in Quebec, and currently dating a girl from there. It's pretty interesting because I can see a bit of what you're talking about. For exemple, about being direct, that's something I always have to be careful, because she'll be doing something, and I'll make a critic about it and she'll take it very badly. Thing is, I still recognize what she did was great, and I say it to her, but it doesn't seem to matter as soon as I make one small comment... which is weird... But hey, at least I realize it's not just me^^
Being direct and honest is a good thing.
Pizza hut for valentine's day?Ahah so romantic :D
Actually, Valentine's day is an anglo-saxon tradition, in France we saw it mostly as a "wish cards seller invented celebration", it seems artificial to us.
milhouse8525 same here! and I’m from England lol it is a capitalistic manoeuvre nothing more nothing less
Yes i agree it sounds so funny from a French perspective. But from an American point of view, missing her cultural things time to time... it makes sense
What about the girl doing romantic things ? Whant equality ? Start acting like equals and forget about special treatments.
As a French Canadian young man who loves pizza I don't mind going to Pizza Hut or any other pizza place for Valentines day. Plus it's much cheaper to go their instead of going to a fancy restaurant that would cost you an arm and a leg to pay for it anyways. And I'm a pure blooded French Canadian with purely only French roots on both sides of my family. I love pizza so much that I could eat it every single day and never get tired of it and it could be from any pizza place but just as long it has my favorite toppings on it I would still eat it. Pizza is one of my all time favorite foods and I also used to work at Pizza Hut for a few months as a delivery driver and I got to eat so much free pizza every time we had an order they messed up on we got to eat that pizza for free and that was so good for me.
This is kinda funny because I generally agree with your videos about the French people (being one myself) but on the topic of men, except maybe for the last point which I also agree on, it feels like you guys both got involved with the type of guys that aren't... making any effort? xD Of course, maybe it's just the way that you summed it up in the video that's giving me this impression but as it turns out, Valentine's day is a big deal for many people around me, all French, so is any kind of celebration, be it gradutation, getting your driver's license, validating your semester, anything you want to celebrate really. Even when I have just a tough week, I can receive support through calls or messages from the people I'm closest to. It's a good thing that they can change apparently xD but maybe you guys ended up with dudes who initially didn't really know what it's supposed to be like to date girls and making a bit of an effort so that everyone can enjoy the great time. xDD
The boyfriends don’t sound very nice....regardless if they’re French or not
The birthday and all of this kind of thing, it's almost like a meme in France, to remember it, i mean, there are movies about it x)