Social Skill Secrets That Make You More Attractive

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 พ.ค. 2024
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ความคิดเห็น • 405

  • @CourtneyRyan
    @CourtneyRyan  ปีที่แล้ว +31

    Head to ritual.com/COURTNEYR30 to get 30% off your first month of any Ritual products. Definitely checkout their Essential for Men 18+ and 50+!. Thanks Ritual for sponsoring! #ritualpartner

    • @ameya7723
      @ameya7723 ปีที่แล้ว

      Women must learn social skills more and learn to approach men, propose them or make them feel special. Women must know to get men attached to them by their talks and actions. Women are too uptight and awkward, together with all the risks involved with approaching them and hair splitting job of deciphering what their actions mean. Women are better at social skills so they must step up. They have higher EQ, so they can handle rejection better as well. So women must initiate more

    • @tommygunn6901
      @tommygunn6901 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@ameya7723 respectfully disagree. While some do approach, it's VERY UNLIKELY they will. That's a masculine trait to approach and if women are doing this more often, I don't think that'll be good in tye long run. Women are designed to be feminine and they want to feel desired, so by men approaching, that says something.

    • @ameya7723
      @ameya7723 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@tommygunn6901 You are a prisoner of your own image, and the kind of image female dating coaches deliberately perpetuate so that the satin /dating game favors them. Women can file false cases, cheat, have multiple partners, demand alimony, and everything, but they cannot approach. Why. Because that is where the trap is set for men to get hold of them, so that it is made to look like it is a man's own doing. It seems you have bought into the idea that men want women more, than women want men. So it is a man's job to do all those stuff of approaching and what not

    • @ryankyle2467
      @ryankyle2467 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hey I love your videos and opinions on most of what you cover. But I just wanted to let you know if you didn’t that you possibly have some scammers on and in your comment section. If I’m wrong then I’m sorry and don’t worry about it but I don’t think I am. Look for my actual comment on this video and see if that person that responded to me is or isn’t real. If not I would probably do a short video on scammers in your comment section! Have a great day!

  • @DallasSniper
    @DallasSniper ปีที่แล้ว +437

    Here's the summary:
    1. To be interesting, be interested
    2. Use metaphors and storytelling
    3. Say their name
    4. Be attentive and listen
    5. Find their "Golden Nugget"
    6. Give a genuine compliment
    7. Be relatable

    • @TSierra
      @TSierra ปีที่แล้ว +2

      W

    • @antonboludo8886
      @antonboludo8886 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Yes, all of these are great ways to carry oneself.

    • @debanikgoswami4834
      @debanikgoswami4834 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Copied from "How to win friends and influence people"

    • @antonboludo8886
      @antonboludo8886 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@debanikgoswami4834 That is an excellent book which is still valid to this day.

    • @Swearengen1980
      @Swearengen1980 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@debanikgoswami4834 Also known as common sense for people who aren't socially awkward.

  • @Guitarguy273
    @Guitarguy273 ปีที่แล้ว +58

    "Say their name." Sometimes people can feel uncomfortable if they don't know or have forgotten my name. During our conversation, when I'm relating a certain humorous event, I work in a line such as this: "Then I asked myself, 'Tim what are you doing?'" That takes the pressure off of the listener to recall my name.

  • @TheDoomerGoGetter
    @TheDoomerGoGetter ปีที่แล้ว +125

    I have to develop my social skills, I've conquered my social anxiety and finally started talking to girls, if y'all need help with the first step, I have a video to help you make the move talk to girls, but now the next step is I have to improve my social skills so I can have more success, take it all one day at a time, I'll improve

    • @axelhens7831
      @axelhens7831 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      No disrespect but i have the oposite and realy have trouble wrapping my head around why people have such low selfesteem.
      Big hugg bro 🤗

    • @andrebaxter4023
      @andrebaxter4023 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Good on you dude. Keep up the build up.

    • @nobodysperfect06
      @nobodysperfect06 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yeah for men it's an option or choice or voluntary, not the other way around

    • @canchero724
      @canchero724 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@axelhens7831 it must be nice to have supportive parents and a good environment to grow up in.

    • @TheRexTera
      @TheRexTera ปีที่แล้ว +1

      As someone with autism I can relate. Between self-loathing and generally having to be so cognitively aware queues and signals and timing what to shay and when is exhausting. That why I have completely stop drinking while I’m social because it more cognitively demanding to be social for me than to drive a car and driving under the influence is dangerous. So is being social and shutting off being self-conscious.

  • @cymbergan
    @cymbergan ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you Courtney for NOT making women feel bored, like I have heard SO many other female coaches say. They say NOT to JUST listen to what women have to say, but also throw humor or talk about what is around them.

  • @Leondrius
    @Leondrius ปีที่แล้ว +36

    Most important is being genuine. You're not being you if you're trying to be something that other people like. Acting out of integrity is never insincere.

    • @moleahy6880
      @moleahy6880 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Always be sincere. Even if you don't mean it.

    • @Leondrius
      @Leondrius ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@moleahy6880 Haha

    • @marsultortheavenger409
      @marsultortheavenger409 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      No its not, most important thing is to be good looking, then your traits will be perceived as positive.

    • @Leondrius
      @Leondrius ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@marsultortheavenger409 Nah. Looks don't make anything last. I'm guessing you've never been with someone who looks good but has nothing inside. It's terrible.

    • @marsultortheavenger409
      @marsultortheavenger409 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Leondrius Good looking people are nice since everyone treats them nice. They will be especially nice if they are with other good looking person. What you are referring to is a looks mismatched couple that is doomed to break up anyway due to hypergamy or monkey branching

  • @JohnM...
    @JohnM... ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I'm quite an introvert, and socialising, while anxiety inducing, also drains my energy and makes me feel quite depressed.

  • @TSierra
    @TSierra ปีที่แล้ว +30

    You’re so close to half a million! Thanks Courtney for the videos, your info really helps.

  • @eliomartinez6389
    @eliomartinez6389 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I'm so glad I found this channel. Non biased and straight forward . There're so many channels either bashing the opposite gender or giving some BS advice that doesn't make sense .

  • @drip369
    @drip369 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    This is going to be a great video because you'll find me often telling people on this channel and others that looks can open a door but they won't get you in or keep you in, you need to have people skills and mental fortitude AKA game and frame and your people skills are what can make you magnetic, especially if you are a funny guy

  • @dougcarson5202
    @dougcarson5202 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    I love the part when you warn against acting "super, zipped-up" during initial social interactions. Besides the fact that it is good advice, you also put it in a way that sounds funny. Getting people to loosen up through humor is usually a great tactic in facilitating conversation and attractiveness.

    • @Blox117
      @Blox117 ปีที่แล้ว

      absolutely awful advice. courtney is a grifter $$$

    • @luisagudelo677
      @luisagudelo677 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      What is super zipped up

    • @manonymasmr4153
      @manonymasmr4153 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@luisagudelo677 the 16-bit sequel to the original 8 bit Zipped Up!

  • @tomjones6259
    @tomjones6259 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I watch and relate in autoplay that I forget to like every post. Courtney thank you for helping me remember who I really am, even with my flaws only to improve in older age now 🤣 I'm a late bloomer.

  • @mar4kl
    @mar4kl ปีที่แล้ว +10

    This is great information -- it really should be taught in school! I've had to get reasonably good at most of them in the last decade plus, not for dating reasons (I've been happily married for almost 33 years), but because I went into business for myself and the same conversation techniques work wonders when trying to encourage people to become your clients. You just taught me a couple of new things, but also identified a number of things I was already doing in conversation but never knew those things had names.
    You also cleared up something that had been a mystery to me: I had assumed that the women you've interviewed in your videos were personal friends, and since, as you said, birds of a feather tend to flock together, I had been wondering how it was possible for them to voice so many opinions that run counter to the values you promote on your channel. This makes much more sense to me now that you've stated that you actually didn't know these women prior to interviewing them.

  • @JesuBleeding
    @JesuBleeding ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I absolutely love metaphors. It's one thing I almost use to reaffirm my own explanation/story to myself as I hold a coversation with someone else. Plus I am a slight bit of a storyteller (as I'm told) because of both my wild and crazy ideas (that belong in a book) and my down to earth theories/thoughts that really should go into practice for a more positive world. So I'm told. However the dice rolls, I love speaking with metaphors more than trying to explain in language dedicated to whatever it is I'm explaining/describing because it's more fun and interesting (I think) as someone who could use something beyond the mundane to retain and truly understand the depth of whatever it is. Great video, by the way!

  • @cheeselover626
    @cheeselover626 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    The name point is really a golden ticket. Very applicable. E.g. being waited on, if you say their name, the waiter/waitress is usually more spiffy and friendly with me so its better service (and for them a better tip so win-win).

  • @kevinfancher434
    @kevinfancher434 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Courtney, I wish most people would learn about active listening. Listening is the most important part of communication. Most people listen to respond and not to understand. How I know if somebody is listening to me is paraphrasing, this lets me know that they understand or care to understand. Thank you and keep up the great work 😃

  • @derrickmccann8254
    @derrickmccann8254 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank you Courtney Ryan For Posting this video about Social Media Secret that will make you more Attractive

    • @CourtneyRyan
      @CourtneyRyan  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It’s my pleasure! Thanks for being here!

  • @edwardcornell1263
    @edwardcornell1263 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Be careful when you meet people who seem like they can relate to you when conversing with them. Narcissists use this tactic to win you over. I am not saying you should prevent that person from your life, but tread lightly until you can build some level of trust with that person. It takes about 100 hours of face to face time to build trust with a person. Which I completely agree with.

  • @viragmasekar3360
    @viragmasekar3360 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Normally, I close myself off to the world and not accept most people for who they are and their flaws. But I feel that I have opened up a little after watching this video. Thanks Courtney. Love you.

  • @anthonyw5261
    @anthonyw5261 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This is ABSOLUTE GOLD!!!!👏👏👏 Applicable to all relationships. Spouse, significant other, casual friends and public people. Thank you for the tips and looking forward to applying these and day to day conversations 😀

  • @jasonhurst8599
    @jasonhurst8599 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Excellent tips, and suggestions Courtney. Your last one is what at times makes some movies, and TV shows seem "unrealistic" as the characters ALWAYS know exactly what to say, since everything is of course scripted. They never struggle to find the right words, or response; they never hesitate or think whether or not they should say this, or that; no matter how uncomfortable they might be in the situation, etc. Very few people always know what to effortlessly say in every situation no matter how confident they might be.

  • @tommygunn6901
    @tommygunn6901 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    The day after I experienced a heartbreak, I went out to a karaoke contest and I sat with a girl, who turned out to be a local the entire time I was there (5 hours) and along the way, met friends of hers. And now we follow one another on social media! She even gave me a bit of advice on how to win these contests and go home with a championship belt lol!

    • @CourtneyRyan
      @CourtneyRyan  ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Love that!

    • @tommygunn6901
      @tommygunn6901 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@CourtneyRyan and to the one that hurt me...well I unfollowed her, including TH-cam and moved on. Turned out she wasn't exactly what she says she is. Long story, check the dm lol

    • @nikhilgoyal007
      @nikhilgoyal007 ปีที่แล้ว

      If nothing else works you always have the infamous left hook! just kidding bro but had to say that lol)

    • @tommygunn6901
      @tommygunn6901 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@nikhilgoyal007 lmfao glorious answer

  • @kenrickbautista6141
    @kenrickbautista6141 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Oh, believe me, I *always* give a genuine compliment. I would never lie & gossip and I absolutely hate giving insults. That's not who I am.
    Also, while I still struggle with people from time to time, I'm still working on my social skills every now and then.

  • @iDarkXY
    @iDarkXY ปีที่แล้ว +38

    Courtney, you are truly a paragon of excellence when it comes to dissecting behavior between men an woman. You set a shining exemplar for all to aspire towards. Your content recently is truly eye opening, and I hope your name is spoken with reverence and admiration by all who know it. Don’t want to exaggerate but you are truly a veritable hero, a beacon of hope and inspiration in an often dark and troubled world.

    • @CourtneyRyan
      @CourtneyRyan  ปีที่แล้ว +11

      🥹 you made my day. Thank you so much for your kind comment.

    • @andersnielsen6044
      @andersnielsen6044 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      These advices here in this video are actually just generally usable for any kind of social interaction with other people whether it is with your kids, mom, friend, strangers, students or whatever. It is plain and simple communication and presence manners.

    • @Blox117
      @Blox117 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      here's some advice for guys: never EVER take advice from a ♀

    • @Blox117
      @Blox117 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      especially not ♀grifters

    • @andersnielsen6044
      @andersnielsen6044 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@Blox117 We hear you, Taliban!

  • @kratosdestroymtolympus3381
    @kratosdestroymtolympus3381 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Courtney Ryan thank you thank you thank you thank you you are a trail blazer and we need more women like you that tell the truth I had to go through some soul searching to realize that you are right about far more than you are wrong, caring and quite frankly you are a light in the darkness and I have never felt more at peace with my situation until now and I tell myself friendship is ok and tell myself these other things
    1)enjoy being single while you are single and work on your self
    2) don't give up and stay positive
    3) build yourself and your partner up
    4) don't be a basement person
    Be a rooftop person, that means don't bring people down bring them up
    5) teamwork is key
    Thank you Courtney I do have Asperger's but I am working on myself and it is not where you start but where you finish.
    Keep it up Courtney and never stop helping people.
    Keep it 💯.

  • @andrewmartineau5445
    @andrewmartineau5445 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Thank you Courtney for this excellent advice. I am actively taking notes on the most important takeaways from this video. I will be incorporating these social skill ideas into my own life soon.

  • @petitgegant9979
    @petitgegant9979 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    High Value, High Efficiency Compliments must be genuine/honest as Courtney explains (if not, sooner or later they become "wicked boomerangs" when the truth is known) but also:
    Someone only really likes others COMPLimenting an specific trait (story telling skills for example) of him/her when he/she doesn't have it or he/she thinks he/she doesn't have it because we always want what we don't have or what we think we don't have. This happens because if we finally get what we don't have while keeping what we already have, we end up having more "things", we end up being improved, more COMPLete, better versions of ourselves.
    That being said if someone has something (money, beauty, wisdom, etc.) or thinks he/she already has it, it doesn't mean he or she will not want it anymore, it never hurts to have more and more money, beauty, wisdom, etc. but when someone already has one particular thing, he or she stops desiring, valuing it (not wanting, not needing to be COMPLimented about it) and will want (and work for) to have a different thing to be a more COMPLete person. If that's not possible that person at least will want (and work for) to be loved by someone who has the thing she or he lacks (a person who COMPLements him or her). If that's not possible that person will at least want someone who tell him or her that he or she has the thing which he or she lacks (will want to be COMPLimented about it). If that's not possible that person will be sad and unhappy and thanks to be so he or she will do something to try to get the thing she or he lacks (or at least get a COMPLiment). If that's not possible maybe someone will do something to give that person the thing she or he lacks or give him/her the means to obtain that thing by him/herself. If that's not possible that person remains sad and unhappy and well, we all know sometimes life just @@@.
    Another complete different thing it's why the hell we often think we don't have something we already have and why some times we think we already have something which actually we lack. As always, Einstein already knew the answer: Human Stupidity is Infinite. We must work hard to build a better education system which will make us, smarter, wiser and less stupid so we will be more efficent knowing what we really have and what we lack.

  • @drip369
    @drip369 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I do that a lot, whether they have a name tag or I learned their name, if I go into let's say Dunkin' Donuts a couple of times a week and I see the same girl that is always smiling at me touching her hair and asking questions, you can certainly see the impact via blushing when you say the girl's name. I am with you on this aspect 100%

    • @drip369
      @drip369 ปีที่แล้ว

      Wasn't it Destiny's Child that sang say my name say my name

    • @Leondrius
      @Leondrius ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Just had Dunkin' Donuts. 😁

  • @rainzoomm
    @rainzoomm ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Courtney, you are Outstanding with your Craft 👏🏾 As a much older man, the Topics,Opinions and Advice you give makes Logical Sense , because it took me a lifetime to learn those things! You don’t Bash Men or Women because of their behavior or Characteristics, of course their are Negative and Positive Traits and Personalities! You have a Keen Sense of Human Nature and I love that you back it up with Scientific Studies and Statistics!! You’re way ahead of your Time 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

  • @breannanorthrup5498
    @breannanorthrup5498 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Also, what you compliment people on shows what you value! I think people want to know your values but being too forward about it might be turnoff for some and complimenting people is a great way to show people what you value without spelling it out exactly. For example, I was seeing two guys recently. One thing ended and then started talking and seeing another guy and that ended because he was going through a lot of really hard stuff. I know that's a cop out for a lot of people but he was very forward with what he was going through and showed a lot of integrity by being so honest.
    ANYWAY, the first guy I was talking to, when it ended, he said that I was a gorgeous woman with a great personality but the spark wasn't there. And I felt the same. Or at least, I didn't think we were compatible. The second guy, we were so compatible and it left me feeling pretty bummed and I'm still getting over it. I felt like he was perfect for me. But when it ended he said "you're a great person, so smart and caring." And to me that expressed the difference between what they valued. One guy was just looking for a girl that he had fun with was physically attracted to. No shame but not exactly what I'm looking for. And the other guy essentially told me he valued intelligence and compassion and that is what I want and need in a partner!
    Great insight on that one, Courtney! I'll try to incorporate that.

    • @CourtneyRyan
      @CourtneyRyan  ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Oooh I love this! Such a great example. Thank you for sharing! ❤️

  • @Razear
    @Razear ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I really like the name and the golden nugget ones, I've heard variants of the two before. It's basically a psychological hack for imposing positive reinforcement. You're buttering the person up in an indirect way, I like it better than just showering the person with compliments because the intent comes across as more authentic.

  • @MekonenMeteor123
    @MekonenMeteor123 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The relatable one was fire as hell. I've never heard of that study before.

  • @trick58
    @trick58 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    These 7 skills are the reasons I’ve never had an awkward, uncomfortable first date. Not all of my first dates lead to 2nd dates or more, but none of them were cut short or felt awkward. More than anything - be genuinely interested.

  • @carlossantiago9926
    @carlossantiago9926 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you Courtney, sometimes you are so right on that it brings tears to my eyes. Thanks for being you.

  • @denisbalic2245
    @denisbalic2245 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Hey Courtney, you are creating so many good videos and i just want to thank you for making me better person!

  • @rangitamati800
    @rangitamati800 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thanks Courtney! My wife and I enjoy listening to you.

  • @joaquin67
    @joaquin67 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Intensive cardio helps with my anxiety and mood. Anxiety increases my heart rate so with cardio I feel like my heart can better handle anxiety. Plus my mood has made my RBF go away too, which makes me look friendlier. Something about intensive cardio

  • @drip369
    @drip369 ปีที่แล้ว

    I know sometimes people will say being positive is not being realistic, even though I do understand the difference between an optimist and a pessimist as well as the value of being a realist, but being positive can also show the woman that you not only are emotionally intelligent, meaning you understand your emotions and you can control them, but it also can display to a woman that you are a problem solver, you are a solid rock, and she might not have to worry about having to deal with you and she has enough inside of herself to deal with. Just some food for thought

  • @jamesspencer641
    @jamesspencer641 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I thought you did a great job picking the women you've interviewed. A good variety of ages and viewpoints and also willing to talk on camera about tricky interpersonal issues. Thank you!

  • @KentPittsburgh
    @KentPittsburgh ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Sometimes I'll repeat something the other person said or summarize what they told me to let them know I am listening to them. It also helps me process what they told me.

  • @scotter
    @scotter ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Hi Courtney! I am feeling gratitude for all that I learn from your videos and I'll admit your presentation helps 🙂 I wonder if you would like to talk any about what internal (emotional intelligence-related) changes a person can do that will bubble up to auto-create the behaviors you mention here? I actually wrote a book on this called Practical Empathy. To be clear: If a person has concrete ways they can increase their awareness, acceptance, courage, confidence, curiosity, etc., then it follows that they will be super comfortable with people that they will automatically be more effective.

  • @SigmoidConMan
    @SigmoidConMan ปีที่แล้ว +1

    To make a long explanation short, as long as you don’t pull a Beavis and Butt-head when approaching women, you’re golden!

  • @Robbo123
    @Robbo123 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Love all of your videos Courtney! ❤️ Just wondered, is it twice a week you upload? 👍

    • @CourtneyRyan
      @CourtneyRyan  ปีที่แล้ว

      3 unless there’s a holiday! There were a few times I only posted twice in December 😊

  • @drip369
    @drip369 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    You are getting really close to 500k subs which in my opinion is about 1/4th of where this channel belongs

  • @michaelvoght8313
    @michaelvoght8313 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I hate talking about myself (unprompted) and is often a blocker for me in the getting to know each other phase. I feel like when I talk about myself I'm bragging and I don't like it. If someone is genuinely curious and asks me a question about myself then I have no problem talking about myself, but it leads me to my next issue. I hate being the center of attention and that often conflicts with attempts at being a good storyteller. If I'm in the spotlight, I'm often trying to get the key points across with no metaphors or detailed descriptions so I can pass the center of attention onto someone else. It's something I have recognized and slowly taking steps to become better at storytelling.

  • @ajtaylor8750
    @ajtaylor8750 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    I've always looked at the first one like this: I already know what I'm interested in, so why not take an interest in what someone else thinks or how they see the world? I use my introversion to my advantage by letting people talk and just giving them my undivided attention and you usually get people to open up more and as a result they think you're the Dos Equis man all because you let them talk about themselves and asked follow-up questions to help further the conversation.

    • @CourtneyRyan
      @CourtneyRyan  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Absolutely! Love this.

    • @tommygunn6901
      @tommygunn6901 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Make sure you end the conversation with "Stay thirsty my friends" lol

  • @ethanmiller5487
    @ethanmiller5487 ปีที่แล้ว

    I would like to add that these skills are also used in sales, dating is selling yourself in a way, reading books on salesmanship can help.
    One thing thats easy to focus on is the WIIFM (whats in it for me) but for the other person. This does take empathy to figure out tho.

  • @richardw3347
    @richardw3347 ปีที่แล้ว

    One thing that helped me is to talk to many people when your out and about. Small talk with cashiers, etc. This helps get you out of your head and daily typical routine and you get practice.
    Practicing good eye contact, social cues when to start and end a conversation and so on.

    • @andersnielsen6044
      @andersnielsen6044 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      This is actually a very great advice for anyone who struggles. ;)

    • @richardw3347
      @richardw3347 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@andersnielsen6044 I'm more of an introvert so these interactions can be helpful. However, I can also blab and be charismatic. It just helps bc you meet new people, have interesting convos with people you wouldn't expect and your less rusty when you do see a girl you'd like to approach and so on.

  • @RichardCrabb
    @RichardCrabb ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you, Courtney. As usual, very well done and very helpful advice. I think everyone needs to watch this video.

  • @FastasFox35
    @FastasFox35 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Watched a ton of your videos. Finally subscribed. Keep up the great work

  • @nocapnobs7845
    @nocapnobs7845 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    My meetups used to garner about 50 people a night. Now barely 7 people show up lol I think people are just done with it all. One tip I can give you guys is, people don't remember what you said, they WILL remember how you made them feel!
    I'm not saying people please, just give genuine compliments or feedback on something that's important to them. On that note, this is something you can practice, whether you're out grocery shopping, going to a cafe, practice giving ONE genuine compliment.

    • @petercoundrelis4495
      @petercoundrelis4495 ปีที่แล้ว

      How about no

    • @SystematicMechanic
      @SystematicMechanic ปีที่แล้ว

      I would only do that if someone asked for my opinion. I'm not going to go around and give people compliments I don't know.

    • @andersnielsen6044
      @andersnielsen6044 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      So true. Any professional communications or sales person would have learned these tricks as well. It is called the "sweet treat". That is what the customer or any other random person will remember from you.. ;)

  • @senuaquest
    @senuaquest ปีที่แล้ว

    it is a well known fact that using a person's name gives power which can be used for good or bad like when a boss calls you it's much different than if they say hey you or just point at you, when someone uses my name I can feel it right off but if they are just asking me something without using my name I barely feel anything, also tones mild facial expressions when using a name can change everything

  • @TheGodNC
    @TheGodNC ปีที่แล้ว

    I rarely use figurative language, specifically in the case of the point I’m trying to make, idioms. I usually get the phrase wrong 😂 but I notice it immediately when a person uses it in a conversation and it comes across naturally. So I do appreciate when someone uses phrases in their speech.

  • @blessing2571
    @blessing2571 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    You are amazing at what you do keep up the good work God bless you this is my first time watching your videos and also subscribing to your channel lol 🙌🏽👸🏾👋🏾👸🏻

  • @00_meghnath
    @00_meghnath ปีที่แล้ว +2

    thanks for producing quality content. I love the elegance and applicability of your information. Go buckeyes!

  • @Moshm4n
    @Moshm4n ปีที่แล้ว

    One big epiphany for me was realizing even the most socially competent people make social mistakes all the time. The difference is they have an internalized understanding that mistakes are normal and most people understand this. Whereas socially anxious or unskilled people see mistakes as totalling to their experience.
    Socializing is a constant dance of calibrating and recalibrating in collaboration with others. And sometimes we step on a toe.

    • @marsultortheavenger409
      @marsultortheavenger409 ปีที่แล้ว

      People forgive mistake good looking people do, they dont do that to unattractive people so you are wrong. Its all about looks.

  • @andrebaxter4023
    @andrebaxter4023 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    First tip is in a really good book I recommend for anyone. It's called "How to win friends and influence people" by Dale Carnegie

  • @lastskywalker2481
    @lastskywalker2481 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    If someone uses my name often it creeps me out. Also I have to say I am not very interested in other people. Don't really want to ask them out or even listen to them. Makes it really hard to be social.

  • @kirklugg82
    @kirklugg82 ปีที่แล้ว

    Great video, my biggest takeaway is "active listening "you said it right.

  • @yeahmartin
    @yeahmartin ปีที่แล้ว

    More than good, these are actually wise teachings from a wise person.
    Good job!

  • @Yosef_Maharat
    @Yosef_Maharat ปีที่แล้ว

    Courtney, 🖐🏿🖐🏿👋🏿👋🏿 and ❤❤❤. I was upset that I missed watching your video few days ago, Courtney. I usually watch them right away.

    • @CourtneyRyan
      @CourtneyRyan  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      That’s okay! Glad you made it for this one 😊

  • @geoffreystephens4357
    @geoffreystephens4357 ปีที่แล้ว

    Courtney, I enjoy watching your videos! I totally agree with your dating tips! I just wish I could find a lady to practice what you teach! I’m in a bad part of the country to find a nice/attractive lady!

  • @janpauledwarddedios5366
    @janpauledwarddedios5366 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks for this.. need to work on these

  • @jayfromaz
    @jayfromaz ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Also it's important to remember to engage the other person in the conversation. No one wants to listen to even the most fascinating story for 15 minutes. They should want to feel part of a conversation. Additionally, it should be relatable to them as best you can make it. You can have a fascinating story about underwater basket weaving but if it's a subject that they couldn't care about it won't help you at all.
    And the tip about being yourself is important. The person may be attracted to the conversation or they may not be. That's life. But the skills are still important to use.
    And if the person is really interested in you most of what you say isn't going to matter anyway.

  • @jtaylor3981
    @jtaylor3981 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    You need social skills to make it in life. Also I recommend a book by Dale Carnegie, How to win friends and influence people.

  • @cymbergan
    @cymbergan ปีที่แล้ว

    Especially, if I did NOT recognize your face in a crowded area, Courtney, I would IMMEDIATELY know to address you by name, because of your voice. I am GREAT at recognizing voices. 😊

  • @andersnielsen6044
    @andersnielsen6044 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    In sales lingo the "Golden nugget" is also called the "sweet treat", and is used in almost all personal sales relations. ;)

  • @sadaamhasaan_
    @sadaamhasaan_ ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Forgot about the "Golden nugget" Lol Glad u reminded us 💯

    • @andersnielsen6044
      @andersnielsen6044 ปีที่แล้ว

      In the sales lingo it is also called "the sweet treat". :D

  • @gerardoa9179
    @gerardoa9179 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Read "How to win Friends and influence people" from Carnegie. Great book

  • @DelasVC
    @DelasVC ปีที่แล้ว +1

    A _very_ important aspect is also that you have to be interested in the right things. There are just some things that are popular these days, funny these days, trendy these days - if you're too far off you're gonna get perceived as weird no matter what..

  • @Ravi-fh1wy
    @Ravi-fh1wy ปีที่แล้ว +1

    That was wonderful and Courtney: you are wonderful! Keep up the good work👍🏻!

  • @PittManGaming
    @PittManGaming ปีที่แล้ว

    Hi Courtney. I’m new to your channel and I love it. Just sub today. Anyway, do you have any dating advice for us older guys? (I’m 54) who want to get back in the dating scene and is looking for a committed relationship? I’ve been out of the “game” for years and everything has changed. Are dating sites any good? I don’t party. I don’t go to da clubs and drink. I like being at home after work. Any advice for us old guys who don’t “got game?” Thanks Courtney 🙏🏽

  • @stephenlayland2889
    @stephenlayland2889 ปีที่แล้ว

    Could you hear my applause?
    My Win rig went down, so I'm on an Ubuntu Live box until the numbers are right. I play Sol on vids that rely on verbal content. The game on this distro ends every win with a quick round of applause. I held my final card 'til the last seconds, then sent you out on an ovation, brief but enthusiastic.

  • @joncan2348
    @joncan2348 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Another great insightful and educational video. Thanks, Courtney! 🏆🏆🏆

  • @timallen3338
    @timallen3338 ปีที่แล้ว

    V.Helpful & Beautiful video's.
    Thx, Courtney - Excellent.

  • @dukeonwheels
    @dukeonwheels ปีที่แล้ว

    That sweater really looks great on you Courtney. Perfectly suits your complexion, hair color, and figure.

  • @supernova9295
    @supernova9295 ปีที่แล้ว

    Courtney,your voice is music to my ears..it is your golden nugget..but it can flow more if you meditate on your throat chakra and consume more ginger,lemon,green tea and spices like cinnamon and cardamom..then your words will flow like your hair..smooth and curly in motion..

  • @ericsteinbach7706
    @ericsteinbach7706 ปีที่แล้ว

    What about humour? Especially the self deprecating kind. I've connected with tons of people this way. Ofcoarse I have to prioritize listening and not just making jokes. Courtney thanks for all your helpful advice.

  • @jahanzebali589
    @jahanzebali589 ปีที่แล้ว

    MUCH NEEDED!

  • @arthurfleck7269
    @arthurfleck7269 ปีที่แล้ว

    HEY COURTNEY!, CHEARS FROM VENEZUELA!
    THANKS FOR MAKE THIS VIDEOS,
    I MAY SAY THE ARE REALY USEFUL

  • @edwardcornell1263
    @edwardcornell1263 ปีที่แล้ว

    I always like to say the persons name. Usually to catch their attention, this tells me they are listening to me. If you'd walked into a room full of people and go over to a person you want to have a conversation with, it is best to say their name first, then wait for them to respond. Other wise you will most likely get a stupid response after you ask your question without addressing the person first. Yes, I do this when it is just the other person and I in the room. Now if I am in a conversation with said person already, I usually don't say their name again during that entire time I am conversing with them.

  • @KING-wy9yp
    @KING-wy9yp ปีที่แล้ว

    Thx for info i really appreciate it.

  • @jordanhansen6539
    @jordanhansen6539 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I wish people would just be Mature enough to get to know people. Instead of playing this game. Do you think people a thousand years ago were worried about "how to act right" lol No... they realized we're all just people trying to get by. They knew everyone was unique and interesting. They had the intelligence and patience and understanding and put in the effort it took to get to know someone..

    • @Eudaimonia239
      @Eudaimonia239 ปีที่แล้ว

      The difference is nowadays society is completely atomized and the basic things we used to do dont come as naturally for many people.

  • @shermanngjazz
    @shermanngjazz ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Learning a skill definitely helps in social situations (like me learning piano)

  • @teddymoore9938
    @teddymoore9938 ปีที่แล้ว

    Love your videos as usual you go straight to the point and you keep it real. Thank you.!👸🙏👏👏👏👏

  • @rudeawakening3833
    @rudeawakening3833 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you 🙏

  • @surferjason1006
    @surferjason1006 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Awesome episode girl🤙🏽

  • @bill_jennings
    @bill_jennings ปีที่แล้ว +1

    At around 7:40 you hit on a very important point. Don't be waiting for your chance to jump in to the conversation with what you have to say and keep mulling your point around in your mind, pay attention to what is being said to you. It's so easy to see when people are thinking about what they want to say, and not thinking about what you are saying.

  • @johnkeller5163
    @johnkeller5163 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Let's also remember some old school skills: (1) Be on time, prepared, and do not waste somebody's time (2) When present in person with somebody, put that damn phone away on silent unless you are urgently on call (and only then answer after excusing yourself to the person in front of you, and (3) Do NOT have your phone on during a lecture, presentation, or in a movie theater during the film presentation (You mother and the Dalai Lama can wait till the movie is over....I despise each and every inconsiderate phone addict).

  • @imheretochewbubblegum
    @imheretochewbubblegum ปีที่แล้ว

    God damit!!! I had to watch this video 4 times😁 Thats how good it was😀

    • @imheretochewbubblegum
      @imheretochewbubblegum ปีที่แล้ว

      Hey Courtney. Is the message below legit? I sendt an message to it asking if it was really you and it was emidetly delited.

  • @anshulsingh8326
    @anshulsingh8326 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I don't have too much social anxiety but I just don't have topics to talk about.
    I know game, web, app development, art and coding which isn't a topic I can talk with some girl.

  • @Ironman4u
    @Ironman4u ปีที่แล้ว

    I think that great conversation is a ..." two- way" street. If the person you're speaking with has the personality of a rock and needs to go to charm school, then it won't matter!.... Conversation is a dialog and NOT a monolog! Intelligence, charisma & humor help ALOT in exchanging ANYTHING with someone new. Some people are introverted and have very little social skills. Attitude ... being friendly and cordial helps to keep everything going. Remember that some people are standoffish and may take awhile to " warm- up".

  • @ibnuabass6917
    @ibnuabass6917 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Courtney Ryan's content to the world
    Greetings from SOMALIA

  • @tomsmithie3917
    @tomsmithie3917 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Women don't know what they want, they only know how they want to feel.

  • @BaibhavBhaumik
    @BaibhavBhaumik ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Courtney, not being pessimistic in any sense, but people aren't so interested tbh to even ask a simple thing as "How are you?" Leave alone continuing with other social skills u just mentioned. If everyone starts caring so much the world would be a different place right now. Times have changed and everyone is only interested about me mine and myself. It's not worth the effort to continue applying these skills if the reciprocation isn't at par.I hope u don't get me wrong. ✌️

  • @evertgarcia-guzman945
    @evertgarcia-guzman945 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks big sis

  • @drummercarson896
    @drummercarson896 ปีที่แล้ว

    I love your hair Courtney

  • @jasonbeyer915
    @jasonbeyer915 ปีที่แล้ว

    Strange there some ambience distortion attracting another in the path of life that REALLY dims our individual lamp affect when there is such a misconstrued projection of limitations of what we can or can not do - as we block, detach, and detain the mind body and spirit sometimes in even self indulgences or sad greedily attacks wounding freedom of choice and speech to evolve instead centering oppression whether physical mental social anything of the bracket that values individuals in its totalitarian side. We don't look within our inner light enough; these content displays are really good!

  • @douglasstrother6584
    @douglasstrother6584 ปีที่แล้ว

    If you're an introvert, ask questions: you can then keep quiet & the other person will do most of the talking, so you don't have to.

  • @cmleibenguth
    @cmleibenguth ปีที่แล้ว +1

    You put in a lot of work to get the other women on the show
    That makes your interviews with them more impressive
    These aren't just your friends doing a solid for their buddy
    These are people from society who have no reason to be answering personal questions unless they want to
    Good job
    =)