4 Ways To Make People Like You
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 15 ก.พ. 2023
- Here's how you can win friends and influence people. You do these four things an people will become addicted to you and your vibe! Hope you enjoy these social skills and charisma tips.
#socialskills #clarkkegley #charisma
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I was pleasantly surprised by this. Most people have some stupid pick up technique or something but these were just point on being a kind person
Coz he literally picked them from an almost 100yr old book
Old is Gold!
this is the same thing technically cuz I never read that book and 99% of the tips people on youtube give about this I already do without needing to practice it and use it like a psychopath hahah
@@MaithiliKulkarni е ииииууууууъу😮
And that is why Dale's book was ahead of it's time. His book was aimed at Salesmen at the time because of their line of work. But the philosophy can applied to general everyday life. Great points. Today people seem to be self-absorbed.
@@MaithiliKulkarni And your just restating what he stated. What is the difference,lol?
In other words: If people can feel that you like them and care about them, it will be reciprocated. Be genuine, love, help, support people.
he's actually giving advice on how to be fake over here.
@@durere no
@@isaiahskates6587 whateva
To n sn_1.
"Do not expect people to treat you like you treat them."
"90% of theft and fraud is done by friend and family."
Hmm i dont find it works. I like people and im a smiley person and i always say hi to people and try to stop and chat and ask them about their nice clothes or something like if they are carrying a plant ask about their garden etc. But then i find im alway the one doing that and ive lived here for 9 years and nobody has ever asked me what i do. Somone asked me the other day and it struck me that in all the years ive lived here nobody has aksed me. I even kinda hinted to this aldy who said shes opening an artists space studio thing and i offered to help her and she has called me a few times to get me to help her move things...and so i said oh id love to rent one of ur studios. And she never asked me oh do u do art. She even invited a lot of local artists for her opening and didnt ask me. I dunno. It makes me feel like i must suck in some way.
Here's a hot tip from an introvert. When you come up to me and start asking me questions about myself, I feel very uncomfortable... like I'm in a job interview and have to get the answers right. It's very disconcerting, and after the interaction, I feel exhausted. Know your audience. We don't all enjoy being put on the spot and forced into social interactions because you want people to "love your vibe."
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I see, and how would like people to socialize with you?
Absolutely! 👍🏻
@@carlosvsiguejugando3102it’s better to start with the weather and non political current events like sports, art and entertainment. You first say few sentences about your interests and make a pause for the other person to reply or say something about themselves voluntarily
@@tahitihawaiiblue I see, that’s interesting
Hard no on number 4 - smiling all the time. I do this naturally and people often think I am being fake or weird.
then ur smile is fake or appears so lol
Im struggling to smile if I hear a good joke (not racist)
I often laugh on other jokes 👴🏻
World isn't spinning arround you.
Be genuine. Period. No mind control. Just be who you are.
It should be be real in a world were scamming and fakeness are glorified.
That's not enough!!!
Be the best version of yourself 🫡
@@itsbelev agreed.
Best comment ever
Warning: do these things and people may get so addicted to you and your vibe that they'll see you as a mentor, or someone they can unload or trauma dump on, or someone always available to listen to their carrying on about themselves. Actually, it's a great way to weed people out of the friendship circle, as long as you cut & run at the first sign of lack of curiosity and prattling on.
I’m a great listener, talkative ppl are drawn to me which is fine if they are self aware. If not, I certainly do the opposite of these tips.
This... I'm so fed up of people trauma dumping on me because I'm a great listener.
This… saw it is an annoyance at first but now I know better who I want to continue seeing. Not a lot of people talk about this I feel like
Amen t that I became wise t that situation😮
I agree. I know how to be a good listener and do like to genuinely hear people. I've met more than one person who loved being the star.
It didn't take long to realize it wasn't a reciprocal act and I was just being talked at. Your mention of trauma dumping absolutely resonates.
It made me much more conscious of my own behavior when I'm with a good listener. I make sure those parts of myself that want to be seen don't take over and run away with the attention.
I really liked this! I’m definitely guilty of talking and talking and never letting the other person give their perspective. I’ve gotten better over the years
People just stick with people like themselves, if you're different it takes years for them to just get comfortable. So just be a purposeful person, not everybody but right people will stick around you.
I do these things naturally…can’t get rid of some people 😅
😂. I hear you. Same for me.
So felt 😅
EXACTLY!!! They get hooked and then you have to go in hiding.
Sem and the worst part I don't like clingy ppl but can't force myself to smile
Omg. Same.
I've naturally been like this all my life and honestly I have more people for me than against me. I didn't realize how respected I was with people until i got sick and I had so many visitors at the hospital the nurse told me I have never seen so many visitors visit a person in 15 years. I was quite shocked myself. and I didn't tell a lot of people I was in the hospital but people just wanted to support. Genuine kindness comes back in full circle.
It's quite ironic for you to say so since your name sort of says it all ngl haha
Man, I don't believe you. Don't take it personally!
@@mihaelauricaru5150 I meant when he said "Genuine Kindness comes back in full circle" is kinda what gods usually say
So basically just be invested in people’s passions and actively listen to them so they feel important. Makes sense
I do it all naturally. Maybe not as much as you'd suggest, but it's genuine. I hate people who ONLY ask, because, hey, I want to get to know them too.
People that actually listen are a rare find. Most ppl just listen long enough to come up with a reply.
Yes very true
That's one thing ive been trying to get better at actually
I hate that about myself
Every single person has something that they can teach you. Your job is to find out what that is, and then get them to teach it to you. Win win.
Most people can teach you how not not be! Mediocre, boring, fake, lacking authenticity! And you get plenty of those if you practice these tips!
Thanks
a lovely perspective.
Great tips I just want to add a #5 everyone must realize that ppl love you and are already addicted to you!! so don't be afraid to be yourself!! Just be yourself!! ❤❤❤
This book always went over my head. When people speak to me like this I’ve always become suspicious and uncomfortable 😂
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I hate when people call my name when they're already talking to me. It feels invasive and overstimulating.
Me too😂
Yes, and if they repeat my name 3 x in the first 3 min of our convo, I’d be weirded out
...It's your name. What else are they supposed to call you then?
@@audychan96 Nothing, they already have all my attention, they are talking to me.
@@LotusMM
Ikr it actually kinda makes me SUSPICIOUS when someone says my name too much
Definitely doesn't make me like them more lol
"An interested person is an interesting person"
- Someone
When Customer Services ask "What should I call you" I say call me nothing, let's just talk, like people, not like reading a script. It usually goes well, I want it to go well, and want the exchange to be human, employees deserve that. Be real, be yourself, don't be fake.
I’ve already read this book before but this was such a nice reminder to implement these things.
Heres a tip , do not crave validation, be yourself, and if you are a genuinely decent person people Will like you anyway , and if they don't that's fine too , don't sweat it that's there choice, just be comfortable knowing that not everyone is going to like you , but there will be plenty that do .
Great reminders.
Over time you don’t even realize you’re doing this but you’ll notice when others aren’t.
Right. I'm shocked at how many people NEVER ask questions back.
Thank you Clark!
We value the hard work you do for providing value on this channel. You're the best 🔥
Hello can we be friends
When I speak to customer service on the phone, the person usually states their name in their greeting. I always try to take note and remember. I never mention their name during the call. At the end of the phone call, I always say thank you for your help “name,” and I always get a friendly giggle or can hear funny confusion in their voice as if theyre thinking, “wait how did they know that? oh they listened!”
It’s always a pleasant exchange, and from working in the service industry for years, it’s so refreshing to have someone treat you like you’re an actual human and not some lower servant. I’ve always been customer facing and it’s tough, can’t imagine how tough it is when customers over the phone treat you terribly. Same also works in customer service chats online!
This is a really good point and something I've started to do! It's the easiest way to acknowledge their humanity.
Same here! I will sometimes ask them to repeat it, if I didnt hear it correctly, and sometimes I pronounce it back and compliment their name. Then I remember at the end of the call to thank them by their name. But I think it's creepy and very sales pitch-like when someone says my name over and over again, "hello Suzy, nice to meet you Suzy, how are you doing Suzy" It's robotic and comes off fake. Hearing people talk about themselves isnt always trauma dumping, it's asking questions and talking about fun things, if you are finding that people come to you talking about their problems, teach them to mediate. :) and you can meditate with them because you both need healing as everyone is a reflection of another. You are allowed to set healthy boundaries and not be rude. If you phrase is with kindness. Takes practice!
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If I hear my name more than twice in an hour it starts feeling like I’m at work. Good luck with that relationship.
Same
Yep. As an introvert, I am super tuned into people's underlying motives. If you're grilling me about my life and smiling way too much and keep repeating my name, I know exactly what you're up to. And frankly, it's exhausting to be subject to your attempt to network and "share your vibe" with the world.
@@McScott76 😂😂 people question everything.. don't they?
If I hear my name more than once, it sounds like dey tryna sell me something! 😂😅 I ain't tryna hear that!
Nice tips Clark you know what you are saying Clark and we are here with you Clark 🗿
I always smile when i talk to people and even if what they’re talking about isn’t interesting i always pretend like im enjoying because i love my friends and the strangers that i meet
Love it. Listening is almost a lost art. Smiling releases happy chemicals of well-being all around. You rock. Thanks Clark
As part of customer service, we are told to listen and smile 😃. I believe they're right, as we could tell by the reaction from the clients. If they're happy with your service, you have their business. It also made me feel good for helping them ☺️ . Happy hormones all around, LOL 😃
Hello
Omg people generally love to talk about themselves and rarely come back with questions or interest in the person they’re talking to. This advice should go both ways, good clip! So true! 😊
Yes, I have had a friend for sooo many years and she doesn't even know all my Loves and interests, because she just couldn't care less... But I can choose crying over it or just accept it, it doesn't feel great when she tries to care when she doesn't. We have some shared interests we can talk about instead. I hate feeling weird and nerdy and wouldn't do that to anyone who wouldn't ask because they really want to know. Even my mother makes fun of me for some of my interests 😅
I tried this at my interview. Called my hiring manager by name 3 times. Smiled. Every time he asked me a question, I asked him a question back, cause I wanted him to know I am interested in HIM. He kicked me out when I told him Argentina is my favourite player in the EPL though.
The fact that.. I did all of these steps without learning from anywhre..its natural to me in me
Woah.. i literally did all these & landed up marrying that person 🤟🤟
W
😊👏👏🎉♥️
I hate people who are not my friends to say my name over and over again. I'll tell them to stop. One time is enough. I'm sitting here laughing because I just want people to shut up. Must be the Hudson in me. What I do know is that if you just look people in the eye and really listen, and you don't have to ask questions, just listen, they will tell you things you never dreamed. And when they do, do not repeat it to anyone. I am amazed at what I've learned just by listening. And some of them are people I just met or happened to be standing by.
Yeah don't call people by their name, call them by their proper titles depending on the interaction.
Man I am so excited to find my people!!
It’s good that I’m almost always genuinely interested in what people have to say and ask them about a lot of stuff, especially if I haven’t seen them for a long or ever.
This is something I do in my adulthood and I couldn’t understand why people could never forget me. It just comes natural to me. The same way I want to be treated is the same way I treat people. I’ve even been a wingman for my brother, and they always ask about me every time they get a chance to talk to him. It works!
...yet you call yourself "chefsaveahoe"...ya I don't see the attraction either! Maybe it's all in your head?! 🤔
@Who's Your Daddy? It's originally a line from the rapper named E-40 when he said in his verse "Look up in the sky It's a bird It's a plane what's the n***** name? Captain Save A Hoe mane." I thought it was funny, but since you want to make an assumption like an ass I'll let you believe what you want to believe.
You are right!!
Same
My brother has this natural ability to figure what’s important to the person in front of him and either compliment them on it or ask a question about it. He fits in with everyone he meets, benefits his business dealings…
People love a good listener, but people also don't let good listeners speak.
Not true. When you start to listen to others and give feedback, when you try and say something yourself they will listen much more. It's mutually beneficial
I agree. It's like, I'm interested in what you're saying but I'ma need you to reciprocate the interest 😂
I agree..
only thing is sometimes these things can lead to people who like talking *TO* you too much, instead of talking with you. but remember there is absolutely no harm, and only benefit for you, in both setting clear and firm boundaries even with people you don't know, and making sure that your interest in them is reciprocated. if the boundaries are not followed and/or the interest not found, leave immediately, purely out of respect for yourself✌️
5. Don't forget to be spontaneous and go with the flow
You have a good point. I did this and now I think the dot I liked likes me too 😊
Be yourself !! If that annoy them ..its there problem not yours ..period !!
If someone says my name more than once, I suspect them of being shady, manipulative, and insulting. So if you're talking to an introvert, this won't work.
I hate it when people call me by my name and I don't know you. It feels like a power move to make me feel weak.
what? 😂
I can relate, it makes me feel like I did something wrong and I'm in trouble. On top of that, I hate my name.
Yes. It usually is. Its saying "I can be informal, personal and over familiar with you right away. " Its basically stepping over boundaries .
I like when friends saying my name but I feel uneasy when strangers say my name
There is no Power Move that can make a Strong YOU feel weak. ...only tell`s you "Turn on your Engine and Flow becouse vright now you are low."
yeah do that & then people will get habituated in sharing their problems/traumas w you and expect u to reassure them but would never bother to check up on u. When u finally tell them u can't be their “therapist” anymore, they will call u “selfish”
Hi
I smile at people all the time, unfortunately some people just think I'm crazy 🤣❤️ Thank You 🕉️✨
😂😂😂
When people start asking me a bunch of questions and are overly interested i just think : please let me go on with my day
Yes just shows how fake you really are even if you denied it.
Skill issue
Exellent advice for not so good listeners or people who only wait until they can talk again. Not always the best approach for the nice empathetic introvert. I always naturally did these things. I'm an introvert so I dont talk crazy much and I'm genuinely interested in people. Im genuinely interested about what they interests and passions are. Smiling comes very natural to me too. Yes it makes people like you. I always appreciate and like people who have this equalities too. But they are sometimes not easy to find. And if you are like that all the time then the people who get all your interest and attention will have a good time and you will feel depleted and unseen and unheard and like the other person is not interested in you. When in fact they would have listened to you if you have talked more. So take up space and attention too! Other people can also try harder to make you like THEM by being interested in you.
Anyways nice to hear I'm officially a likeable charming person. 😂Now I will add the name thing.😊🎉
Instructions unclear: I summoned Beelzebub after saying his name three times, and smiled warmly as he dragged me to hell, talking on and on about eternal torture, which I can tell is his favorite subject.
True most definitely, car salesman say your name a # of times
As a bank teller I would acknowledge their name & each one liked I said their name
when out to eat I always ask their name & introduce myself it works every time
I used item two yesterday at a car event. I had my GoPro running and made no effort to hide that. Just walked up to a car that I thought was really cool and started asking questions about it. Followed every answer up with another question. Guy really appreciated the way I did it, I could tell. Said thanks afterward and continued on.
Until now u don't me I m business woman not social fashion lovers I know she takes advantages coz easy money
You gotta break up those questions with some acknowledgment tho otherwise they’ll feel interrogated lol
This
@@jucxox what do you mean?
Yup
Exactly lol
I've had people get annoyed at me from asking too many questions too fast when i was GENUINELY interested
So basically me actually liking them backfired 🤣
thanks this is definitely what i needed!
The only problem is that person will have great time and you won’t. Just be yourself!
so true! then you end up bored asf cos all they'll do then is talk about themselves and their problems and not give af about you
Agree! 😊
just be yourself is the worst advice anyone can ever offer.
@@tomwaitsfornoone1182 i can only agree. You should actually say:“ Do the things, which get positive feedback from others and avoid those which create the opposite.“
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I do these except the name thing. But, I find myself having more genuine connections w people, even if it feels awkward at times- it’s not really awkward once you’ve done it enough. You see different personalities and temperaments and enjoy seeing what each person wants to offer you in terms of conversation or companionship
Good for you. The name thing is seriously creepy
I’m naturally this way and people tell me how much they like talking to me.
Some people are turned off by being asked too many questions about themselves by someone they just met. It can be taken as intrusive. Let others talk, actually listen, and ask questions based on what is said, bc that's usually what people are comfortable about sharing. Let them lead.
Yeah! Exactly the questions should be based on the replies. So the conversation can go on without getting a random full stop in the middle.
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These are tips to appeal to narcissists and to also be manipulative. Just be genuine and don't waste anyone's time if you aren't genuinely interested, people can sense a faker when they encounter one.
Indeed. If someone acts like mentioned in the video, I am irritated and try to leave as fast as I can.
Almost everyone thinks that they will know when someone is blowing smoke up their rear... But most people don't.
I don't care about anyone I work with... I am not their friend, and I would step on them or backstab them in a heartbeat if it meant a promotion.
Yet they all think I'm their friend. They all think I love them and care about their kids or husbands or any other stupid thing they have going on in their lives. They all think that I value them as a person and I value their advice. I don't. 🤷♀️
Usually ... If you come off nice and interested in people, and you make it your mission to make each person feel important ... They'll just assume you're not a devious pretender, because in their heart they want to believe that they are exactly as interesting as you are making them feel.
Yup. And you won’t be able to tell until it’s too late. People thinking they’re so smart they can avoid a narc are a perfect target.
Oh thanks dr Phil
I was shown a “rate this comment” blurb.
I hate those and never rate the comment.
Why does YT do that?
No matter how your comment gets rated, what would they do about it?
Creepy!
When starting out after high school, I read a book that encouraged these exact 3 things. It has helped me in job interviews, asking for a promotion, dealing with faculty and administration and my children's school, coworkers, etc. Really it became part of who I am, and I am glad. Most conversations, even new ones, are pleasant. It also helps diffuse difficult situations.
"The sweetest things in any language" 😂😂😂
If people keep saying my name in a conversation I’m looking at them with a raised eyebrow and will avoid interactions with them in the future.
Tbh it's so obvious when ppl do this and it becomes cringy. Like a used car salesman vibe.
Tallulah Bankhead famously couldn't remember people's names (same) so she was the first to really start calling people 'Dahhling' instead whereas they used to say sugar or honey. Funny story though, she once took a guy with her to a party, told him to wait in the car (which he did) then she went home with someone else she met inside. 20 years later he approached her at a party and she responded 'Didn't I tell you to wait in the car?'. The memory has different stomachs, I swear.
😂. Heard that before a long time ago. Still a good chuckle. Thanx
These are powerhouse moves for sure.
Thank you.☺️
i feel this. But most importantly, be genuine. I have a friend she does all of this, but some how i cannot connect w her like that. It doesn’t feel genuine. When you’re genuine, u’re automatically do these in hindsight
How to be a narcissist? I prefer it when people are genuinely interested, and not just doing it to get interest in themselves.
That’s a good point, too far either way could be bad.
The ideas that’s he’s talking about are all from that book and he states it’s not just a bag of tricks but rather intended to be a new way of thinking
True! I wish people spend more time healing their traumas and letting the love for others flow from within. Which will result in being kinder and more loving. Which will make others like you and be attracted to you.
You can follow these steps for narcissistic reasons or to change your mode of thinking and just be a more generally likeable or sociable person. Literally it's all on a person's intent. Why make it about narcissism?
@@denofpigs2575 Amen! It's all about one's intent.
This is like being a people pleaser. You listen people talk a lot...and you talk particularly about what THEY like...they get used to being in the centre of attention and guess what. They will not like you, but the fact they have attention.
Yeah that's what I was thinking. If only it would indicate a more reciprocal exchange instead of a one-sided one.
Facts😂❤
I appreciate your content Clark it has drastically improved my life at least.
Hello can we be friends❤
As a people pleaser, this tips all come natural to me
Well I hate to tell you this but not everybody's in the same category I can't stand my first name and I hate people to call me by it. I do not like people to full name me either
A smile can change everything...💗
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Hello can we be friend
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Idk if it’s the journalist in me but I am naturally like this. Idk I am a talker and I love when people can give me that same energy back.
The most interesting man in the room is the most interested in what everyone else finds interesting
“At the end of the day, people won’t remember what you said or did, but they will remember how you made them feel.”
-Maya Angelou
Yes, if they go home feeling like they're on a high and confident that all went well, then it's a thumbs 👍 to you
“People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care”
This is good. He's describing good manners towards others and having empathy for them too.
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I can't stop smiling whenever I talk to new people
WISDOM 🙏
I tried the 1st tip and didn't go well.... "hello John John John how are u"
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It creeps me out when someone I’ve never met keeps saying my name repeatedly
Great suggestions....also being funny, appropriately vulnerable at times and being very strong in your own frame and confident makes you most magnetic. Peace
Hello can we be friends
than you so much Clark as always this was helpful
yes
i agree
thank you to
this is some cool tricks
I love your channel clark.❤😍🥰 So inspiring and filled with good information. I am definitely a fan.
I absolutely HATE people using my name in conversation, especially when I don't know them. If someone were to use my name 3 times in a few minutes it would immediately put me off. It's giving try hard.
But I don't want to. I want to sit in my home wrapped in a blanket and a book and not talk to anyone..
Yes but do these things because you are truly interested. Not because you want someone addicted to you!
In the end you just want people to like you.
❤❤❤your right
I've seen a few of your videos now, and they have been very helpful. They are pure gold.
a long time ago one of my friends said she noticed that I often said her name and that it was really appreciated, I never forgot it
Do this if you want to talk about that person until you find an excuse to get away from them. Don't worry, they won't ask about you, they're too into themselves.
Ain't that the truth.
All sounds good until you realize that talking about someone‘s passion, that you are not interested in at all is fucking lame.
Just be yourself. If people don‘t like you, you are simply not vibing. If people like you, then it‘s good. If you notice that nobody you talk to likes you, you can maybe start considering these tips because you are probably just not a great talk.
Don‘t try to be friends with people you wouldn‘t be friends with.
The 3rd point is key 🗝 thanks 👏🏻
I used all these while treating cancer patients. It helped them to talk about themselves and what they're into.
1. Say their name 3 times in first 3 minutes
2. Get them talking about themselves
3. Find their hidden passion
Narcissists hate hearing their name and see it as an act of aggression
im a narcissist and i like hearing my name, dont spread misinformation please. although i will say, i prefer adding grandiose titles to name. like big don, don money, don the great etc
Sorry to hear that you're a Narcissist, 😢...We're all sinners, so I'm NOT pointing at you! It takes a lot to ADMIT that!! Step 1 for recovery!! I've seen many people with this VILE PERCEPTION of themselves...
I hope you can get the help that you need!! You're in my prayers! 😘🙏🏻❤️🙋♂️
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"Hey *****"
My mum: "TF DID YOU JS CALL ME BISH WANT A WOODEN SPOON?"
That's what I'm doing instinctively
When you smiled, I smiled😊
When man has conquered his mind, Man has conquered the world
LOVE 🙏
The name one is so true I love it when people say my name when they talk to me lol
When a person I just met say my name 3times, that's when I know they have business in their mind. No Doubt!
I'm introverted and a bit shy so I always opted to ask people questions. I don't have anything interesting about myself and don't want to open up to early so it's always easier to ask questions and get to know people instead