I dont like the hard to get advice. You can't show you are too interested initally because so many girls dont like guys that are too easy/ too available.
Not gonna lie, these video tips in my opinion seem very hit or miss. I think there is at least a two way directional push from the media side of things in dating life. Unfortunately on the surface on the one side of it, it promotes profanity, objectification and even pornography...in the long run it promotes division and desexualization of both genders. On the other side, people get absorbed into this and confuse it with more natural topics like falling in love. A direct example.. you say women don't like men who are too available... Yet women I've seen and took time to get to know very much say the opposite and crave my time even if it's silence. They're also not pulled into today's social media scene, and are rather living much more simply. In other words, there are people with nearly polar opposite views to all this that media and many others are pushing. Love is built on trust, respect, genuineness... It will ALWAYS take a level of effort from both ends to achieve and keep it going. I also believe everyone is different and that it's very heavily dependent on their character and personality. Someone with less patience and social unawareness may have to take different approaches to form a healthy relationship than someone who say... Is extremely patient and hyper aware to social cues. That's why above all else.. i think encountering someone whom you can form a successful relationship with requires confidence of self and being who you are. If done right, the energies out there will notice, and the right people will gravitate to you in your life.
1. 0:25 There's only one person out there (2:14 - 3:12 Sponsor ad) 2. 3:13 Be persistent=She will like me 3. 5:08 You need to feel a spark 4. 6:54 Play hard to get/Mind Games 5. 9:26 It's too late for you 6. 11:36 I'll be happy when I get a girlfriend 7. 12:54 Right person, wrong time
Concur. If every previous generation had as much trouble getting together as the current one, the species would have never made it this far. Somewhere along the line one of the many wars, famines or pandemics would have overcome our ability to reproduce fast enough to overcome the loss of population
Just stop dating. I never did it. It's a timewaste, you're only wasting your precious lifetime, efforts, etc....and for what? To get someday being dumped, or betrayal`? I tried many, many years ago to get my dream lady...then i've had her...and everything was totally differently, than imagined...bc she was a extreme borderliner....
Sunk cost fallacy applies to dating. At some point men realize dating is not worth it. I reached that point. It's okay to stop wasting time and money. It is too late for me and that's a good thing. I will not waste another dollar or minute of my time.
Regarding #3, a couple months into dating her, she told me, from her point of view, it was “love at first sight” when she met me, and by that time I could tell she was falling in love with me. I was interested in her when I met her. That was 23 years ago, and we’re still married for 19 years with two great children, and I love my wife and still think my wife is very sexy. So I’d say “love at first sight” sometimes works out alright.
yes, but here's the thing, it's a fuzzy line between attraction, infatuation and love. Love is hard to put your finger on. It's attraction plus commitment and respect plus a deep friendship BUT at the same time it's conditional. It's very hard to say that you have all that right at the beginning. It takes YEARS to get to that level for many people. And also one thing that is definitely the case for women. Their memory and recollection is HIGHLY dependent on their emotional state at the time. Ever had an argument with your wife where she tells you "YOU NEVER DO X" even though you do X quite often? That retroactive emotional filtering can be hard to understand for men but explains a lot of a woman's behavior. Basically when your wife told you that she was filtering her PAST recollections through her CURRENT emotional state, that of the strong emotions of anxiety in starting to want a commitment from you
In summary, please realize. 1: there are tons of people out there that may 2: know when to walk away 3: don't believe love at first sight or having a "spark". Don't write people off too fast 4: don't play mind games, send mixed signals, or play hard to get 5: you're never too old to fall in love. For men especially, you don't have a biological clock like women 6: Don't go into a relationship to find happiness or you won't be happy. Happiness is the byproduct of a successful relationship 7: "right person wrong time" is flawed. Insinuates that there was only one person out there. Don't see it as a passed opportunity, look for a new one instead I'd like to add to number 2 on the "running away". Sometimes YOU should be the one running away from her.
Idk it depends on age with last one. Becus everyone has idea of 1 person. Cus her bf couldve been complete opposite not long after she married him. Saying it goes right for some & wrong for others
Wow! This young woman has insight beyond her years. It's awesome that someone in the Millennial or Gen Z generation is providing this advice! As a man in his forties, I have seen men and women who believed these myths (and some still do) and had relationships crash and burn or miss out on opportunities with great men or women. A quality relationship has its ups and downs and requires work. That is what makes the relationship meaningful. Without ups and downs and conflicts, we don't grow in love.
Honestly, never chase women to begin with. This doesn’t mean don’t persue a relationship, just don’t be the ‘adorer.’ Chasing not only puts yourself in an EXTREMELY vulnerable position where you are liable to be manipulated. Chasing also usually implies that the other is put upon a pedestal; love only lasts when it goes both ways.
We've been conditioned on #2 because of TV and movies. We think chasing relentlessly will wear her down and then they'll be fireworks and unicorns and such when she finally falls for us. 😂 It never works like that. In real life you get labeled a stalker. 😮
@Jaehwa Jeong Maybe at first but I would be skeptical of the long run. A chaser usually doesn't have other options, hence why he chases, a simp move. Simping isn't great in the long run.
@@ZWarrior89 I don’t mean to be negative, but how do we know that she just realized she ran out of options and simply settled for him? I hope they’re truly in love and it works out for them, but these are concerns I have to raise so that I don’t fall into the same trap. I only get one life, don’t wanna waste it chasing someone and letting good ones pass me by
My boyfriend and I didn't have the "spark" when we first started going out. It took at least 2-3 months of getting to know each other before that slight "awkwardness" went away. Now, I consider him my best friend in the whole world and I love him so much. I'm so glad we took the time to get to know each other rather than just calling it quits because there was no magical chemistry at the very beginning.
""Now, I consider him my best friend in the whole world..."" Friend zoned, tenn acceptance as a s second option, he was the second choice... Chris Rock the comedian tells it perfectly.... now you got a roommate!! 😂😂 😇 The good guy won!! 😂 no one asks... Won what exactly??
The spark you speak of, thats the “Id sleep with him on the spot” feeling. The hardest part is, dating as an introvert even trying your best to carry the conversation. I dont even talk to my best buddies that much in reality, so why does it have to be all about talking? Just spend time over a time span to get to know a person, unfortunately some people dont have that kind of time to wait or too many options. That is also why I believe people who worked together or were in a group setting similar to a community got together and dated as it was the natural way rather than going on a date with a stranger then trying to advertise yourself to each other. Those people knew each other for a long time in their settings. It feels too fake and like a job interview if its like a dating app or just approaching women randomly. I mean hey, maybe it works for some people usually extroverts Id say. For me as an introvert, its seems like a curse even though I have tried it before, lol.
@@formless4541 I think people have to be friends first . It is hard because dating is so fast paced and makes it hard to tell how you feel and how that feel.
Thank you so much for mentioning the right person / wrong time. I gave one girl so much headspace for so long because it ended due to the trials of distance. What I failed to realize then, but do now, is the man that fell in love with that girl is long gone and we have very different value structures. If you want to make a relationship work, you will make it work.
True but everyone has diff ideas of partner when they young some meet through uni or been together since school. And some never find anyone ever. Eventually remain married until divorce comes along
Absolutely! I was with a guy who kept moving the goal post of commitment, saying "the timing just isn't right," when actuality, he was keeping me around until his ex finally let him back in. I, in the meantime, kept putting up with all the excuses because I thought he was "the one" 🤢 When someone wants you, they make it work.
The problem with when you’re inexperienced in dating it’s very difficult to tell when a girl is playing hard to get and when she’s just not interested. It would be easier if women flat out turned you down but a lot of times they’ll say “oh I’m not ready right now” it leaves possibility for the future. As I’ve gotten more experienced I’ve learned to move on from these people. Just a lesson to men and women out there. Don’t play the game and don’t fall for the game. Good video
@Sarcodon Blue yea for guys that hasn't been around the block or really inexperienced. They think it leaves the door open because how the media and probably friends our age told us but it's not true and only leads to anger. We must also only ask for advice from women that are pretty or can keep a man for a while because there women aren't desperate for a man and they wouldn't think certain things are cute
It was toxic well before these online communities came about. The internet simply revealed the cesspool we lived it all this time. Remember PUA of the late 90's, early 2000s? Dating gotten so bad that men were resorting to hiring professionals to ask someone out on a date.
If there was something I could do to kill off this idea of "Spark Chasing", I totally would. It's probably one of the most damaging aspects of modern dating, essentially boiling it down to either a first impression having to be flawless or utter failure is just unrealistic.
Hi Courtney....love your channel....your wise way beyond your years....I'm a 60 year old man and a widower...I haven't given up on loving again and I urge everybody else not to give up....who wants to live in a world without love❤🙏
I never had a girlfriend and then I met a woman at work who seem to really like me. Turned out she had bolderline and was love bombing me because she had a serious mental illness. I only figured it out after a year when she throw me away for some random guy and nothing she did made any sense. Very traumatizing...😄
This was the basis for my marriage. When the time came to decide if I was ready to marry my now wife, the most important questions were, do I have total peace about it, and will she change and grow with me. Best decision of my life.
I've been trying to get rid of the "too late for me" mentality. Rationally, it doesn't make sense and its just not healthy. But every once in a while, I feel that feeling creep up on me and I feel a sense of dread and I spiral downword. Therapy has helped but thats the one I struggle with the most.
I have that mindset but I gave up on looking for anyone since I was 21. No matter how successful you are or how much appearance you have, women dont like those things anymore. I'm 29 and I still gave up hope. Courtney is a fool for saying you might find someone in your 60s. At that point, I'll probably be dead or cant do things like in my age group are doing anymore.
Sometimes, it's just way (worlds) better - to think just, too old - too cold...or just too late, better accept that, live a healthy life, than chasing women, which doesn't make sense (it never maked sense anytime, but especially nowadays...) It's better to have good friends, being healthy, than chasing after dreams, one have had 20-25+ years ago....doesn't make sense. Life's too short...too waste it with some kind of dragon, or a narcisstic lady, or with a borderline issue, and tons of suicide tendencies...for instance.
Stay strong. I use to go down that path alot. Then I started watching @Courtneyryan videos and it's like therapy to me reading the comments. It's a community here. And it helps. Because you will read something that exactly relates to you. And listening to her helps because she doesn't need to find a man so it's believable
I hate romantic movies my sister used to watch that taught me that when a woman isn’t sure if she’s ready for a relationship, being persistent will show her what she’s really missing. It’s a trope that’s not true and damaging to a lot of men.
seriously, the best relationships I've had, most healthy, most passionate, most 'right' and good, came from friendships hanging out with people I like to hang out with, enjoy spending time together, and the energy builds and builds and builds sometimes without even knowing, until one day (or not!), SPARK - this has happened to me after MONTHS of long-hangouts with women where I wasn't even thinking about anything 'more' just LIKE people and like spending time with them for who they are, not for what 'they might fulfill' - yes, it's healthy torecognize and even talk about potentials, but not to live in them or get ahead of yourselves into them
super-sick of women saying they don't feel chemistry when all we've done is talk online/email hellloooo, at least try a phone call! and if it's not horrible,do another perfection and the best excitement ever on first interaction or she's disinterested is ???? soooo many delusions out there and I'm not even trying to date, just talk and see how we get along - over 10 years since I've looked for intimate bonding and ppl are soooooooo lost
I've had many girls tell me "You're a great guy I just don't feel the 'spark' with you." And I've always thought the concept of the "spark" was a load of bull and not even a good way to start a relationship with someone. Sparks fade, slow burns last.
My current girlfriend and I have a great relationship. However in the beginning, she didn’t want a relationship, she had some fears about being hurt again…I knew she was a great woman but I didn’t chase. I was patient with her, didn’t pressure her, and gave her the space she needed to decide if she wanted a relationship with me As a result we have an amazing relationship now and getting married next year I know had I chased her because I wanted her to like me back, I would’ve just pushed her away
@@initiatorhater0688 yes but I didn’t pressure her, everything flowed organically, she told me in the beginning she didn’t want a relationship and now we’re in a relationship, I had to give her that emotional space she needed to come to the decision, not chase or pressure her into it
- I don’t want to ruin our friendship - I’m focused on my career - I don’t do this on the first, second, ‘fill in the blank’ date - I just got out of a relationship - I only date ‘insert zodiac sign’ … the list goes on and on 😂
So you whine and cry that you want a pure, chaste woman, then run from women who aren't willing to have sex on the first date? Sounds to me like you need to decide what you want before you try to find it.
@@CommentorXto be fair, women can’t help it with men they truly desire. Most men have seen this, and any of the excuses listed above is just that - an excuse. I’m not asking her to go home with me on the first night, just be truthful to yourself and me .
@@CommentorX Men fall into one of two categories for women: Men they make rules for and men they break rules for. If a woman tells you she doesn't have sex on the first date it means she doesn't have sex on the first date WITH YOU. It's a clear indicator of their opinion of you. One which you can use as a disqualifier even if you had no intentions of sex on a first date.
@@RotoRooster In other words, girls love casual sex too! But only with Chads/Tyrone. If she doesnt want to sleep with you on the first date that hurts our ego because it means we might not be Chad? Lol
I am very guilty of the "I'll be happy when I have a girlfriend". It's actually a mentality that manifests in many aspects of your life. When I entered my first relationship, I felt like I was finally completed - like the act of someone else loving me validated my existence. I struggled a lot with mental health and self-love so being with someone who brought out the good me and was always an advocate made me feel so happy about myself. However, when that relationship didn't work out for totally valid and clean reasons, I realized I wasn't happy with myself at all and I had burdened my partner with getting rid of my insecurities. If you can't be happy single, you're not gonna be happy in a relationship either.
But you were happy in the relationship. If you can't be happy single, but then you get in a relationship and are happy, then wouldn't being in a relationship make you happy?
@@zephan6001 yes, YOUR happy, but at what cost? The cost is paid by your partner.. until it's TOO MUCH to pay.. in other words only you can save yourself, anyone else doing that for you leads to pain and heartbreak.. get it now?
I both agree & disagree. Hopefully I articulate properly. The desire for a wife & children is a God given desire. The feeling of "something missing" is natural, biological, spiritual. It is NOT the result of low self esteem. HOWEVER, contentment is also desired. Contentment takes hard work, regardless of your circumstances. Contentment is far from complacency. They are not remotely the same. It's important to "seize the day" -- not wait for something next to happen before your life starts. You want to be an interesting single dude.
I’ve had talks about this sort of thing with men and women alike and it’s astounding how much I see certain myths prevail among some people around me. The two biggest are the “be persistent” and “she didn’t feel that spark”. Th persistence i think guys fall into because they hope that the effort will change a mind but I’ve learned the hard way it doesn’t work and not only that, but there are plenty of women who help reinforce that idea in men and then act surprised it doesn’t work . What you said about that “spark” being more about arousal is something I’ve heard mentioned and I think it is very true, because I’ve seen many a woman choose and stick with the worst kind of boyfriends because they’re trying to thrive off of that initial impression and not acknowledging that he is a bad choice of boyfriend. I’m so glad there are women like Courtney willing to put this out in the world.
I am 64 new at this dating stuff. This is logical good advice. I am not in any hurry. Being patient is truly a virtue. My daughter and her family live with me. Have had women suggest to boot them out so would be space basically for them. Wow . Will be interesting to see how finding a good woman plays out. Thank you
In Germany there is a saying many men struggeling to find a partner are sick of: "Auf jeden Topf passt ein Deckel." ("On each pot goes a lid.") Or similar. That is often said by relatives, who were told about the break-up or follows the question: "Why are you still single?" Or it is said by the woman, who breaks up with you, to say that "you will eventually find one."
The biggest part about being a guy growing up is that you really have to unlearn stuff sometimes. Watching TV and movies as a source of how to behave with women is like poison.....bad info drilled into us over years.
@HyperNormalInfographic it also depends on the woman friends. If you hang around females that are single and can't keep a man then you won't learn anything. I know because that was my issue
Spot on with no time limits on love. I’m 63, and six months ago started dating a woman 11 years younger than me. I had known her for about a year in social circles, we sometimes called or texted, and every time I was in the same place as her, we hit it off. One day, she texts me “we should get together some time” and now six months later we are having an awesome relationship! Everywhere we go, people say “you two give off such positive energy”, “you guys are a breath of fresh air”! Having a wonderful time with a wonderful woman. I promise you all, it in NEVER too late!
I was married twice and divorced. I am on my own for some years now. Deep in my heart I think it is never too late, but now I am 69 I still think all the time if it is really worth it to start again a relationship. I don't date and I never did in the past. To put in a lot of work for what? It sounds negative but to me reality shows me that there is to me nobody special in my life. I am going out in a regular way and I have my own activities . I am not unhappy or desperate. You are right that you have to know persons how they really are. I am not a guy that falls in love quickly. I never did. Most of the time I like ladies but I don't feel anything. I respected the ex wifes and they did the same thing. We were great friends but that's it. I am not feeling a victim but I can say in all honesty that I was never really in love. I must say your comment gave me some hope to find someone and be happy with but I think and I have to take in account that it may never happen. You have to have some luck in these things.Although i loved your story as a man some years younger then me that found a nice woman. Seems very complicated to me but that is what I think. I wish you all the happiness in the world and thank you for your hopeful message.
Courtney is such a beautiful, intelligent, calm, mature, lovely and kind soul. It's comforting to know that there are still such women like Courtney out there in this crazy aggressive and entitled feminist dating world.
I believed that at one time "whenever i find a romantic partner I will be happy" and when i did, it was at first. However its only a matter of time before your darkness starts showing itself again, it always does, and in my case it was no different. So, in short, no one can make you happy but yourself.
On the point at 9:27, I just turned 24, and all of my friends are getting married. Seriously... Im in 3 weddings this year alone. While I am so happy for all of my friends, it makes me feel bad about myself and I feel pressured that I have to find somebody NOW. I know thats false, but its been a challenge. Even my ex got engaged 8 months after we broke up lol Recently though (honestly since I started watching Courtney and implementing the knowledge she shares), I have been doing a lot better in the dating scene. I know my worth and im not willing to settle down so quickly. I think we as men need to realize our worth. Keep up the self improvement. We will find somebody. All of us. Just learn to be content in this TEMPORARY season of singleness. Love you all
Important things: 0:24 First thing - There is only one person out there for you; 1:32 agree with that (look for potential, not perfection); 3:12 Second thing - Be persistent, and chase her; 5:07 Third thing - You need to feel a spark; Forth thing - Love at first sight; 6:50 Fifth thing - Playing hard to get games / Mind games; 8:05 that's very well told there Courtney, that is exhausting playing these hot and cold games (or I would like to call it yes and no games); 8:14 I respect that you say in finding a hobby; 9:25 Sixth thing - It's too late for you; 9:51 finally that someone says that is never late for love, or anything at all (big respect for that and very big thank you for that Courtney); 11:34 Seventh thing - I'll be happy when I get a girlfriend; 12:05 agree with this way looking in happiness as well; 12:52 Eight thing - Right person, wrong time; 13:26 full respect for that; and 14:57 to summarize all the told as well. Listening to you Courtney, I can say that some of these mentioned things can be used in other life situations as well, besides finding a right person to spend the whole life it. Meaning, it can be used in finding the right friends, right job for us etc. Also when I was listening to you Courtney, some of the mentioned things made me tears coming out of my eyes as well. Among the all of the mentioned things I remember once that one guy told me long time ago one thing. He told me that I have to show angry face. And when I heard that I was like thinking to myself: What are you talking about? Are you crazy, etc.? The things that would be done like this or like that it's hard to say it. One of my professors from faculty told one thing as well. He told this: "It is easy to be a general after the battle. How about you to be a general during the battle, and make some crucial, and important decisions for solving the dilemmas as well." But all in all, I agree with you Courtney that action is important as well. It would be more precise to say watch the deeds. Why? Because the deeds will tell us more than the words. The words are nothing compared with the deeds. Believe it or not. We have to be just relaxed, and believe in ourselves as well. And just do this: Go with the flow.
Thank you Courtney, you shed some light into something I had not given much, if any, thought to. With billions of people in this world it is indeed possible for there to be much more than just "one" right person.
Maybe "love does not have an expiration date", but dating an attractive younger woman does. Criticize all you want, but men tend to place a higher value on physical attractiveness, and that tends to wane as people age.
A very thoughtful and subtle mind. The idea that if you pursue her long enough she will like you for your persistance was common in my youth. And to a lesser extent attraction means she's the ONE. By the time I was twenty I could see that if you are attracted to her so are all the other guys, and by a little longer that if it isn't working now, and no one changes, it probably never will. These videos are really informative, as there is communication confusion btn all sexes.
I'm happy Courtney didn't speak the classic lie most women say " Looks, status, money doesn't matter.. It's all about confidence". She stated the myths of dating clearly and truthfully.
@@SunDogGod What is the best woman. Obviously, it's a young attractive nice smart virgin. Men who are dating those girls usually don't have any money or status. Looks? In real life (without makeup or filters) there are as many attractive women as men, as many average women as average men and as many less attractive women as men.
I despise “right person wrong time” for the exact reason you said. But saying “right person wrong time” implies that there is an inverse: wrong person right time.
"the one" is whomever you find and have a successful relationship with. if it falls apart to such a degree that the relationship must end, its time to find another "the one" i was with one woman for 10 years and once the relationship was pulled so hard it snapped, i left and now i'm looking for someone else.
She's a youtube business brother. A plumber doesn't fix your toilet because he cares about your bowel movements. He just does what he needs to do to eat and pay bills. All these red pill females just filled a 20 year old void in the red pill market place.
1. 0:25 There's only one person out there - it's not just potential, we all have it, it's goals and dicipline. (2:14 - 3:12 Sponsor ad) 2. 3:13 Be persistent=She will like me - dont be a creep 3. 5:08 You need to feel a spark - can be arousal, and attraction can build up! 4. 6:54 Play hard to get/Mind Games - may not be confidant! & wastes time! 5. 9:26 It's too late for you - comparison is the theif of joy. 6. 11:36 I'll be happy when I get a girlfriend - be happy on your own , it can make you a better person. 7. 12:54 Right person, wrong time - if it was the right person it would have been the right time.
@@CourtneyRyan Well, you're wrong on the "love at first sight." It's rare, but it happened to me, literally the first second I saw my future wife. Now, it took a few months to get together, because I had no intention of a serious relationship at the time, and dated a couple other girls before we started going out. About seven weeks from our 41st anniversary. No, she's never said it happened to her.
I wanted this kind of content from Courtney's pov for a long time Especially the points on the myths about the one person, finding that spark, etc I'm trying to be a person who can have a perspective of seeing a potential and working with it, because that's what leads to long term fulfillment. Thanks for making this video, and hopefully more videos come on this line of thought process.
That's a great point that if it's the right person, it would be the right time. I've dealt with so many men who just wanted hook-ups, that I don't even try talking to guys or show interest anymore.
That's the worst one on the list, but women do it too not just men. To be fair, if the person being chased, makes it clear and boldly tells the chaser to back off, it wouldn't happen. Unfortunately, some loser pathetic dudes feel entitled and better about themselves by doing this to women.
I stopped chasing people who weren't interested in me. Now I don't chase anyone lmao Not one single time in my life has anyone ever liked me back, it was all a waste of time in trying to convince them.
@Alexandre Tan yup but this is what the media told us and low self esteem girls. When in reality if you want low self esteem girl you would never chase
Lauren Parnell from Jacksonville, NC check every box. I’ll never find another woman like her. I wish I found your channel sooner. It could have saved that relationship.
What those expecting perfection don't get is that your love interest isn't supposed to meet all your needs. That's too much pressure for anyone and some roles you need filled can't be filled by the same person. you probably don't look for a hard-nosed counsellor to be the person that helps you lighten up and forget your problems. The person you look to for a neutral opinion about marriage challenges isn't always going to be a girl you chose for her whimsical, highly emotional gf with a flare for the dramatic. Yes, a partner is the most important person in your life, but without other relationships to dilute things a bit you will suffocate each other.
Loved this. I agreed with almost all the myths, especially with the ones about "Right person, wrong time" and "You need to feel a spark". The only one I didn't agree with is "I'll be happy when I get a girlfriend". It's not that a girlfriend would fix all issues, but I think it's sad to go through life without having someone you truly love, and who truly loves you. The human touch and the emotional connection with a lover are not something small.
Courtney's point is that if you're not already happy then getting a girlfriend won't make you happy. Absolutely a girlfriend should add to you happiness but never expect that to be the one thing that will turn your life from unhappy to happy.
I am 47, divorced after 22 years of marriage. I thought and said to everybody I never fall in love again, or marry ever. And then out of the blue, I found my biggest, mindblowing, crushing and sweetest Love ever!!! woman with my age.
“I’ll be happy when I get a girlfriend” is not a myth. I have a great career, a great family, friends and lots of hobbies. But I’m lonely and surrounded by people who didn’t have to learn to be happy on their own. I know 100% what it is that would make me truly happy.
I’ve not dated now for 8 years, and I’ve never been happier( dating is like working and not getting paid for doing your job) as I see it dating is one massive psychological clusterfuck of don’t do this don’t do that etc , it’s easier just to Lone Wolf it and have your life, for you,
Love may not have an expiration date but the downward thrust of current dating is causing some people to find true love in their 30s, 40s, or 50s, when they otherwise could have found it in their 20s.
I disagree with the whole “learn to be happy alone” sentiment. People need relationships with other people or else they will develop a low self esteem and become depressed and resentful. People need romantic partners in their life for their mental health.
Brilliant, elegant, expressive, articulate, intelligent, gorgeous and a great sense of humor - love your stuff Courtney & wish I would have had a resource like you a very long time ago
I agree with not "chasing" women, BUT...there are women who admit that they want to be pursued! Even if she likes the guy she wants him to "work for it." Dating sucks! It's definitely too late for me.
Interesting, and I always really enjoy listening to you, however: - "It's too late" - I'm 36. I want to have a family. This means it doesn't matter what age I am, my partner needs to be within a certain age bracket. Within that age bracket I'm getting less and less chance of anyone fancying me, and I'm feeling I'm having less and less in common with them. - "I'll be happy when I get a girlfriend". - The thing is, I am very happy in myself and in who I am but I want to go out to a restaurant, go on a day out, go on a holiday (vacation), talk, laugh, cuddle,.... I can't really do these things on my own, and all my friends are married with kids so they are largely unavailable. Though family and friends seem to really see value in me, I'm left eagerly wanting to do things, but never having anyone to do things with. (and doing things gives the chance of meeting a prospective partner).
Excellent video. I believe the root cause of these problems is laziness. In college I had to meet and talk with hundreds of girls to get dozens of dates and end up with 2 steady girlfriends by my junior year. Meeting "the right" woman is simply a numbers game. I am now 70 years old and recently divorced. To me, the apps are a form of blind dates, which I hate. I know what type of woman I am interested in and I know immediately if she has a possibility of being interested in me or if I am wasting my time. Usually I am wasting my time but I do not get offended or become a stalker--I JUST MOVE ON.
7:33 I never understood the hard to get game. whenever women acted uninterested, i've always taken those interactions at face value and left them alone as they seemed to want. then some come back later asking why i wasn't even trying, and i'm like "eh, i thought i was giving you the space you wanted 🤷🏻♂️" As a side note, with the culture being where it is today in the #MeToo era, if a woman acts uninterested, the only safe assumption for a man is that she's uninterested. It can be disastrous for men to try and figure out if a woman is playing hard to get or is genuinely uninterested.
I tried so hard when I was younger. The pressure was real, and I had this "all or nothing" attitude. Now as I'm approaching fifty in a couple years, my heart just can't stand the constant heartbreak. It takes me so long to recover and my spirit is too exhausted. On top of that, I am in therapy for severe depression now. I just cannot fathom being in a relationship right now. The "game" as it's called is something that I have given up on.
Men love women for who they are. Women love men for what they can do for them. The default word love is irrelevant since men and women seek different things.
The thing with right person wrong time... There is never a wrong time even if you're going through some bs in life. This person (if the right one) would support and help you through these tough times and would if anything bring you guys closer compared to if you had met them at this so called right time, when nothing is wrong... So technically the "wrong" time could actually be the better time 🤔
I believe the wrong time tests their loyalty, and determines their compatibility. If they scurry away in fear, they’ll never stick around when things get tough. Hell, anyone who does this doesn’t belong in your life.
9:30 sometimes I think like that and I'm 33 years old. It's so good that you in pointing this out, gives me even more hope. Also confirms I know to be true. Thank you❤
This is my question. Who wants to wait 40 years to find their partner or love? "I'm 60 years old and just found love, about to retire and old asl and now all you can do is sit in the house v watch TV and collect your social security". Nan. I think men have mental time limit while females have a biological one. I think by 30 for a female as stated having a baby and having a family begins to become a concern. As for men by 30 or between the ages of 32-35 men begin to appreciate they're in the zone in there peak of life with that decent job and things going well for them without having a lady and so they begin to protect what they have going on, an rather not deal with one especially in today's generation and as of today and just keep there peace of mind and be single. As the popular saying is right now. "The juice is not worth the squeeze".
Lmao that's true I was just going to say that when she says she didn't feel a spark it meant she didn't have the tingles. Courtney does her homework which is why we take her seriously
This helped me highlight a lot of problems I didn't know I had. I literally just had a date today and this was helpful to have in the back of my head. Helped me just relax and have a good time. Anxious at first but I realized "I got this." Thanks!
"meeting in a nursing home" This is not a positive thought for a young person or even middle aged Just picture what that looks like would you look forward to that?
The one about the ''spark'' is actually so sad. Alot of people who are very compatible will just give up after a first date because of not feeling this spark and then wonder why they are still single. Happens too often, people should give each other a bit more time and effort to let things grow and see where it goes.
If it’s not that then you have the flip side where people rush into relationships and then once they really know each other or one big argument or even simple disagreement happens, then they just run for the hills even though it could be very simple issue to resolve
As a 50 year old guy, I haven't even bothered to look for three years. My kids and surviving my ex have made looking at dating again, the exhaustion of it, just not worth the time.
"He was tall and attractive and said all the right things and I felt the spark and the chemistry was intense....and after getting pregnant I realized he was a narcissist sleeping with multiple women I was so blind lol"
Wow you guys are so naive. It has nothing to do with being kind. It’s all about physical attraction. If you are a goodlooking man women project all kinds of good qualities on to you that you don’t actually posses.
@@ashtonsmith9682 like I said sometimes good guys attract wrong sorts. If had all qualities of intelligent, caring and talented bf But lacks physical attraction. They go out window 😂
From meeting girls online or blind dates, I've commonly had the issue of the girl saying she "didn't feel a spark" or "didn't feel the chemistry" after only 2-3 dates. I've always felt that is it's unrealistic to expect to feel chemistry after only meeting a complete stranger 2-3 times. It takes time to build that connection. It can be extremely frustrating when women don't even give you the chance to know if there's something there.
Womxm go on so many dates they are numb to the process. As i said in another post womxn only feel a spark with a guy that they know is out of their league.
they probably looking for "love at 1st sight", in that sense, they should have left after the 1st date, so you gotta appreciate them for coming back for 2 more dates
11:38 this is different for people who never had a girlfriend. confidence comes from knowing you have what it takes to get her attention, make her like you and have a good chance at getting with her. you can't have it if you've never went through it.
The walk away point has put me at a serious disadvantage. I really liked a gal that was in most my classes in middle school and high school. I waited till she didn't have a boyfriend and missed dating opportunities. When I finally told her it was a hard rejection. In college I did very little dating. After college had a female friend that kinda stung me along for 3 years. She essentially wanted me as a backup and emotional/financial sponge. There are definitely guy friends way worse than me that had girlfriends or gotten married. My big problem is I'm very socially introverted and the process is extremely emotionally draining.
Great video as always, but there's one thing I'd like to push back on: "right person wrong time" can totally happen organically with no ill-intent on either party. Sometimes life just happens and you have to deal with it. Examples: 1) You meet someone that you seem very compatible with, but you two can't be together because they are still in the honeymoon phase with their new SO (whom they'll eventually find out is a bit emotionally unstable and not a good fit after all). 2) You're dating someone in college who is super compatible with you, but they need to go off to medical school in Boston, while you want to go off to law school in California. I get that some people create excuses/delusions, but are these not two completely innocent examples of "right person wrong time"?
I had someone pursuing me who I also liked once. I messed it up because I knew I was moving so instead of keeping contact I just vanished with a hug and a goodbye. I kick myself over how stupid I was. More than a decade ago. One of the reasons I’m reluctant at best terrified at worse to seek someone is I’m pretty happy alone, been doing it for 6 years since the last toxic person I chased.
Courtney, what are your thoughts on the notion that women are attracted to men with a high body count? I’ve noticed some women are turned off by men that haven’t slept with that many women.
@@MikeyP109well, I’m asking because I’ve experienced it. Many girls would rather date a guy who has a body count of 15+, instead of a guy whose body count is 2-3.
@@carlosf.3876ikeyP109 thinks in one dimension only. He also thinks that all men play hard to get. He probably needs coffee to wake up for the day. Probably some 20 year old kid roaming on the internet because he got tired of Tik Tak or Instagram.
The persistence = relationships does actually work I have witness it with my own eyes my cousin was one of those guys who would persist alot and even tho he was rejected at first he kept trying eventually getting in a relationship with this person and now is married and has a family with that same perosn who rejected him so believe it anything is possible as I have witnessed it.
You can not force someone to love you, only invite them...truer words were never spoken.
It wise but also pathetic in a sense. As you can have kind soul but attract mean spirited.
I believe in building that connection before going forward
I dont like the hard to get advice. You can't show you are too interested initally because so many girls dont like guys that are too easy/ too available.
@@TheArsenalMan125 you don’t want a woman that says or believes that. There’s no such thing as too interested. It’s either reciprocated or not.
Not gonna lie, these video tips in my opinion seem very hit or miss. I think there is at least a two way directional push from the media side of things in dating life. Unfortunately on the surface on the one side of it, it promotes profanity, objectification and even pornography...in the long run it promotes division and desexualization of both genders. On the other side, people get absorbed into this and confuse it with more natural topics like falling in love.
A direct example.. you say women don't like men who are too available... Yet women I've seen and took time to get to know very much say the opposite and crave my time even if it's silence. They're also not pulled into today's social media scene, and are rather living much more simply.
In other words, there are people with nearly polar opposite views to all this that media and many others are pushing.
Love is built on trust, respect, genuineness... It will ALWAYS take a level of effort from both ends to achieve and keep it going. I also believe everyone is different and that it's very heavily dependent on their character and personality. Someone with less patience and social unawareness may have to take different approaches to form a healthy relationship than someone who say... Is extremely patient and hyper aware to social cues.
That's why above all else.. i think encountering someone whom you can form a successful relationship with requires confidence of self and being who you are. If done right, the energies out there will notice, and the right people will gravitate to you in your life.
But you can make them put the lotion on itself
1. 0:25 There's only one person out there
(2:14 - 3:12 Sponsor ad)
2. 3:13 Be persistent=She will like me
3. 5:08 You need to feel a spark
4. 6:54 Play hard to get/Mind Games
5. 9:26 It's too late for you
6. 11:36 I'll be happy when I get a girlfriend
7. 12:54 Right person, wrong time
The fact that dating is referred to as a “game” tells me all I need to know.
Our grandparents seemed to have it so much easier. My grandparent's were married for 70 years.
Women cannot handle the truth. The game is merely trying to appease. And since women cannot handle the truth, lying is the predominate strategy.
Yes it is very demoralizing. Makes one not want to play at all.
Concur. If every previous generation had as much trouble getting together as the current one, the species would have never made it this far. Somewhere along the line one of the many wars, famines or pandemics would have overcome our ability to reproduce fast enough to overcome the loss of population
These females think dating is a game and that they’re the “prize” you win at the end, if you win…
Show this to every person struggling with dating initially. I have so much respect for how Courtney carries herself, honestly.
Simp
She's a woman that cares about guy's problems, A WOMAN, a rare gem.
@@thefox47545 Yup Courtney and Victoria from MyNoneleather
Just stop dating. I never did it. It's a timewaste, you're only wasting your precious lifetime, efforts, etc....and for what? To get someday being dumped, or betrayal`? I tried many, many years ago to get my dream lady...then i've had her...and everything was totally differently, than imagined...bc she was a extreme borderliner....
Sunk cost fallacy applies to dating. At some point men realize dating is not worth it. I reached that point. It's okay to stop wasting time and money. It is too late for me and that's a good thing. I will not waste another dollar or minute of my time.
Regarding #3, a couple months into dating her, she told me, from her point of view, it was “love at first sight” when she met me, and by that time I could tell she was falling in love with me. I was interested in her when I met her. That was 23 years ago, and we’re still married for 19 years with two great children, and I love my wife and still think my wife is very sexy. So I’d say “love at first sight” sometimes works out alright.
Agreed and congratulations on a successful relationship!
yes, but here's the thing, it's a fuzzy line between attraction, infatuation and love. Love is hard to put your finger on. It's attraction plus commitment and respect plus a deep friendship BUT at the same time it's conditional. It's very hard to say that you have all that right at the beginning. It takes YEARS to get to that level for many people.
And also one thing that is definitely the case for women. Their memory and recollection is HIGHLY dependent on their emotional state at the time. Ever had an argument with your wife where she tells you "YOU NEVER DO X" even though you do X quite often? That retroactive emotional filtering can be hard to understand for men but explains a lot of a woman's behavior. Basically when your wife told you that she was filtering her PAST recollections through her CURRENT emotional state, that of the strong emotions of anxiety in starting to want a commitment from you
bullshit
nope, not alll the time - it all boils down to chance - and a very slim chance
In summary, please realize.
1: there are tons of people out there that may
2: know when to walk away
3: don't believe love at first sight or having a "spark". Don't write people off too fast
4: don't play mind games, send mixed signals, or play hard to get
5: you're never too old to fall in love. For men especially, you don't have a biological clock like women
6: Don't go into a relationship to find happiness or you won't be happy. Happiness is the byproduct of a successful relationship
7: "right person wrong time" is flawed. Insinuates that there was only one person out there. Don't see it as a passed opportunity, look for a new one instead
I'd like to add to number 2 on the "running away". Sometimes YOU should be the one running away from her.
Too much work. Too much bother. Too little to be gained. Hard pass.
Replace the word spark with dopamine and it all makes sense.
Idk it depends on age with last one. Becus everyone has idea of 1 person. Cus her bf couldve been complete opposite not long after she married him. Saying it goes right for some & wrong for others
@@puppetmasterblaster yet you still watch videos on dating…..
Number 8: Remain Stoic. Stoicism Defeats Manipulation
Wow! This young woman has insight beyond her years. It's awesome that someone in the Millennial or Gen Z generation is providing this advice! As a man in his forties, I have seen men and women who believed these myths (and some still do) and had relationships crash and burn or miss out on opportunities with great men or women. A quality relationship has its ups and downs and requires work. That is what makes the relationship meaningful. Without ups and downs and conflicts, we don't grow in love.
"It's never too late to be loved"
Why this channel is just fantastic!
Honestly, never chase women to begin with. This doesn’t mean don’t persue a relationship, just don’t be the ‘adorer.’ Chasing not only puts yourself in an EXTREMELY vulnerable position where you are liable to be manipulated. Chasing also usually implies that the other is put upon a pedestal; love only lasts when it goes both ways.
Wrong, I love a chaser.
Old saying: He chased her until she caught him.
We've been conditioned on #2 because of TV and movies. We think chasing relentlessly will wear her down and then they'll be fireworks and unicorns and such when she finally falls for us. 😂 It never works like that. In real life you get labeled a stalker. 😮
I think it's because who are the writers for these shows? Probably extremely virginal people who have no idea how dating and seduction work.
But I've seen guys who were persistent and eventually worked. I couldn't believe it...
Lets not forget that many women get off on the "chase" . I have been scolded that I "wasn't chasing enough". Walked away from that one.😀
@Jaehwa Jeong Maybe at first but I would be skeptical of the long run. A chaser usually doesn't have other options, hence why he chases, a simp move. Simping isn't great in the long run.
@@ZWarrior89 I don’t mean to be negative, but how do we know that she just realized she ran out of options and simply settled for him? I hope they’re truly in love and it works out for them, but these are concerns I have to raise so that I don’t fall into the same trap. I only get one life, don’t wanna waste it chasing someone and letting good ones pass me by
My boyfriend and I didn't have the "spark" when we first started going out. It took at least 2-3 months of getting to know each other before that slight "awkwardness" went away. Now, I consider him my best friend in the whole world and I love him so much.
I'm so glad we took the time to get to know each other rather than just calling it quits because there was no magical chemistry at the very beginning.
How did you get to know him for months first?
That never seems to happen in the real world
""Now, I consider him my best friend in the whole world...""
Friend zoned, tenn acceptance as a s second option, he was the second choice... Chris Rock the comedian tells it perfectly.... now you got a roommate!!
😂😂 😇
The good guy won!! 😂
no one asks... Won what exactly??
The spark you speak of, thats the “Id sleep with him on the spot” feeling. The hardest part is, dating as an introvert even trying your best to carry the conversation. I dont even talk to my best buddies that much in reality, so why does it have to be all about talking? Just spend time over a time span to get to know a person, unfortunately some people dont have that kind of time to wait or too many options. That is also why I believe people who worked together or were in a group setting similar to a community got together and dated as it was the natural way rather than going on a date with a stranger then trying to advertise yourself to each other. Those people knew each other for a long time in their settings. It feels too fake and like a job interview if its like a dating app or just approaching women randomly. I mean hey, maybe it works for some people usually extroverts Id say. For me as an introvert, its seems like a curse even though I have tried it before, lol.
@@formless4541 I think people have to be friends first . It is hard because dating is so fast paced and makes it hard to tell how you feel and how that feel.
@@garljr I agree about the dating apps. It is way too fast paced and you can't really get to know someone that way or see any reason flags.
I always get the “didn’t feel a spark”. I’m just not the type of person that sparks with people. I have like 0 close friends either.
Thank you so much for mentioning the right person / wrong time. I gave one girl so much headspace for so long because it ended due to the trials of distance. What I failed to realize then, but do now, is the man that fell in love with that girl is long gone and we have very different value structures. If you want to make a relationship work, you will make it work.
True but everyone has diff ideas of partner when they young some meet through uni or been together since school. And some never find anyone ever. Eventually remain married until divorce comes along
Absolutely! I was with a guy who kept moving the goal post of commitment, saying "the timing just isn't right," when actuality, he was keeping me around until his ex finally let him back in. I, in the meantime, kept putting up with all the excuses because I thought he was "the one" 🤢
When someone wants you, they make it work.
The problem with when you’re inexperienced in dating it’s very difficult to tell when a girl is playing hard to get and when she’s just not interested. It would be easier if women flat out turned you down but a lot of times they’ll say “oh I’m not ready right now” it leaves possibility for the future. As I’ve gotten more experienced I’ve learned to move on from these people. Just a lesson to men and women out there. Don’t play the game and don’t fall for the game. Good video
Exactly
When we say no it often isn't accepted as an answer.
@Sarcodon Blue yea for guys that hasn't been around the block or really inexperienced. They think it leaves the door open because how the media and probably friends our age told us but it's not true and only leads to anger. We must also only ask for advice from women that are pretty or can keep a man for a while because there women aren't desperate for a man and they wouldn't think certain things are cute
“However, don't let perfectionism become an excuse for never getting started.” ― Marilu Henner
BuT I HaVe StAnDaRdS!
Said every single 40 yo woman who still wants a family
@@dobermanownerforlife3902, Usually the ones who lock the stable after the horse has bolted.
Marilu Henner has the best long term memory of anyone alive. It's true, she has total recall, look it up.
I like what Courtney said, "don't look for perfection look for potential".
It saddens me how toxic online communities are destroying healthy relationships and are making people increasingly lonely
Dating apps are certainly doing their part
@@devilsadvocacy I’d say the dating apps started it. These communities are a reaction from all the lonely people.
It was toxic well before these online communities came about. The internet simply revealed the cesspool we lived it all this time. Remember PUA of the late 90's, early 2000s? Dating gotten so bad that men were resorting to hiring professionals to ask someone out on a date.
If a relationship is destroyed, it's only the fault of those in the relationship.
@@tailgunner2 Can confirm; anytime I hear someone talk about how this all started with Tinder etc., I just LMAO.
If there was something I could do to kill off this idea of "Spark Chasing", I totally would. It's probably one of the most damaging aspects of modern dating, essentially boiling it down to either a first impression having to be flawless or utter failure is just unrealistic.
Hi Courtney....love your channel....your wise way beyond your years....I'm a 60 year old man and a widower...I haven't given up on loving again and I urge everybody else not to give up....who wants to live in a world without love❤🙏
I never had a girlfriend and then I met a woman at work who seem to really like me. Turned out she had bolderline and was love bombing me because she had a serious mental illness. I only figured it out after a year when she throw me away for some random guy and nothing she did made any sense. Very traumatizing...😄
virgo 😭
This was the basis for my marriage. When the time came to decide if I was ready to marry my now wife, the most important questions were, do I have total peace about it, and will she change and grow with me. Best decision of my life.
I've been trying to get rid of the "too late for me" mentality. Rationally, it doesn't make sense and its just not healthy. But every once in a while, I feel that feeling creep up on me and I feel a sense of dread and I spiral downword. Therapy has helped but thats the one I struggle with the most.
I have that mindset but I gave up on looking for anyone since I was 21. No matter how successful you are or how much appearance you have, women dont like those things anymore. I'm 29 and I still gave up hope. Courtney is a fool for saying you might find someone in your 60s. At that point, I'll probably be dead or cant do things like in my age group are doing anymore.
Sometimes, it's just way (worlds) better - to think just, too old - too cold...or just too late, better accept that, live a healthy life, than chasing women, which doesn't make sense (it never maked sense anytime, but especially nowadays...) It's better to have good friends, being healthy, than chasing after dreams, one have had 20-25+ years ago....doesn't make sense. Life's too short...too waste it with some kind of dragon, or a narcisstic lady, or with a borderline issue, and tons of suicide tendencies...for instance.
Stay strong. I use to go down that path alot. Then I started watching @Courtneyryan videos and it's like therapy to me reading the comments. It's a community here. And it helps. Because you will read something that exactly relates to you. And listening to her helps because she doesn't need to find a man so it's believable
I hate romantic movies my sister used to watch that taught me that when a woman isn’t sure if she’s ready for a relationship, being persistent will show her what she’s really missing. It’s a trope that’s not true and damaging to a lot of men.
seriously, the best relationships I've had, most healthy, most passionate, most 'right' and good, came from friendships
hanging out with people I like to hang out with, enjoy spending time together, and the energy builds and builds and builds sometimes without even knowing, until one day (or not!), SPARK - this has happened to me after MONTHS of long-hangouts with women where I wasn't even thinking about anything 'more'
just LIKE people and like spending time with them for who they are, not for what 'they might fulfill' - yes, it's healthy torecognize and even talk about potentials, but not to live in them or get ahead of yourselves into them
super-sick of women saying they don't feel chemistry when all we've done is talk online/email
hellloooo, at least try a phone call! and if it's not horrible,do another
perfection and the best excitement ever on first interaction or she's disinterested is ????
soooo many delusions out there
and I'm not even trying to date, just talk and see how we get along - over 10 years since I've looked for intimate bonding and ppl are soooooooo lost
So true! Too bad all of those great sparks were with girls already in a relationship. HUMONGOUS BLACK FLAG WITH SKULL AND BONES.
I've had many girls tell me "You're a great guy I just don't feel the 'spark' with you." And I've always thought the concept of the "spark" was a load of bull and not even a good way to start a relationship with someone. Sparks fade, slow burns last.
My current girlfriend and I have a great relationship. However in the beginning, she didn’t want a relationship, she had some fears about being hurt again…I knew she was a great woman but I didn’t chase. I was patient with her, didn’t pressure her, and gave her the space she needed to decide if she wanted a relationship with me
As a result we have an amazing relationship now and getting married next year
I know had I chased her because I wanted her to like me back, I would’ve just pushed her away
Congratulations mate, wish you both the best.
@@sathvik6982 🙏 thank you!
i assume you had to ask her out, hit on her
@@initiatorhater0688 yes but I didn’t pressure her, everything flowed organically, she told me in the beginning she didn’t want a relationship and now we’re in a relationship, I had to give her that emotional space she needed to come to the decision, not chase or pressure her into it
@@ingrained2train and i assume you are both in your 20s
- I don’t want to ruin our friendship
- I’m focused on my career
- I don’t do this on the first, second, ‘fill in the blank’ date
- I just got out of a relationship
- I only date ‘insert zodiac sign’
… the list goes on and on 😂
Ghost as soon as you hear this. She isn't interested.
So you whine and cry that you want a pure, chaste woman, then run from women who aren't willing to have sex on the first date? Sounds to me like you need to decide what you want before you try to find it.
@@CommentorXto be fair, women can’t help it with men they truly desire. Most men have seen this, and any of the excuses listed above is just that - an excuse. I’m not asking her to go home with me on the first night, just be truthful to yourself and me .
@@CommentorX Men fall into one of two categories for women: Men they make rules for and men they break rules for. If a woman tells you she doesn't have sex on the first date it means she doesn't have sex on the first date WITH YOU. It's a clear indicator of their opinion of you. One which you can use as a disqualifier even if you had no intentions of sex on a first date.
@@RotoRooster In other words, girls love casual sex too! But only with Chads/Tyrone. If she doesnt want to sleep with you on the first date that hurts our ego because it means we might not be Chad? Lol
I am very guilty of the "I'll be happy when I have a girlfriend". It's actually a mentality that manifests in many aspects of your life. When I entered my first relationship, I felt like I was finally completed - like the act of someone else loving me validated my existence. I struggled a lot with mental health and self-love so being with someone who brought out the good me and was always an advocate made me feel so happy about myself. However, when that relationship didn't work out for totally valid and clean reasons, I realized I wasn't happy with myself at all and I had burdened my partner with getting rid of my insecurities. If you can't be happy single, you're not gonna be happy in a relationship either.
100% agree. I have the same problem.
Love this comment. Thank you for sharing ❤️
But you were happy in the relationship. If you can't be happy single, but then you get in a relationship and are happy, then wouldn't being in a relationship make you happy?
@@zephan6001 yes, YOUR happy, but at what cost? The cost is paid by your partner.. until it's TOO MUCH to pay.. in other words only you can save yourself, anyone else doing that for you leads to pain and heartbreak.. get it now?
I both agree & disagree. Hopefully I articulate properly.
The desire for a wife & children is a God given desire. The feeling of "something missing" is natural, biological, spiritual. It is NOT the result of low self esteem.
HOWEVER, contentment is also desired. Contentment takes hard work, regardless of your circumstances. Contentment is far from complacency. They are not remotely the same.
It's important to "seize the day" -- not wait for something next to happen before your life starts. You want to be an interesting single dude.
I’ve had talks about this sort of thing with men and women alike and it’s astounding how much I see certain myths prevail among some people around me. The two biggest are the “be persistent” and “she didn’t feel that spark”. Th persistence i think guys fall into because they hope that the effort will change a mind but I’ve learned the hard way it doesn’t work and not only that, but there are plenty of women who help reinforce that idea in men and then act surprised it doesn’t work . What you said about that “spark” being more about arousal is something I’ve heard mentioned and I think it is very true, because I’ve seen many a woman choose and stick with the worst kind of boyfriends because they’re trying to thrive off of that initial impression and not acknowledging that he is a bad choice of boyfriend. I’m so glad there are women like Courtney willing to put this out in the world.
I am 64 new at this dating stuff. This is logical good advice. I am not in any hurry. Being patient is truly a virtue. My daughter and her family live with me. Have had women suggest to boot them out so would be space basically for them. Wow . Will be interesting to see how finding a good woman plays out. Thank you
In Germany there is a saying many men struggeling to find a partner are sick of: "Auf jeden Topf passt ein Deckel." ("On each pot goes a lid.") Or similar. That is often said by relatives, who were told about the break-up or follows the question: "Why are you still single?" Or it is said by the woman, who breaks up with you, to say that "you will eventually find one."
My biggest pet peeve of dating is the amount of ghosting. It’s almost predictable as the sun setting that I get ghosted after the first date
Truss I got ghosted over date at McDonald's I wouldn't mind I offered to pay
I never knew turn out to be lesbian 😂
That's part of dating tho.
The biggest part about being a guy growing up is that you really have to unlearn stuff sometimes. Watching TV and movies as a source of how to behave with women is like poison.....bad info drilled into us over years.
Yeah, don't take dating advice from Damone!
Yea with everything we sorta got relearn
@HyperNormalInfographic it also depends on the woman friends. If you hang around females that are single and can't keep a man then you won't learn anything. I know because that was my issue
Only to the simple minded. I don't know ANYONE that looks to TV and movies to learn how to behave with women....
Spot on with no time limits on love. I’m 63, and six months ago started dating a woman 11 years younger than me. I had known her for about a year in social circles, we sometimes called or texted, and every time I was in the same place as her, we hit it off. One day, she texts me “we should get together some time” and now six months later we are having an awesome relationship! Everywhere we go, people say “you two give off such positive energy”, “you guys are a breath of fresh air”! Having a wonderful time with a wonderful woman. I promise you all, it in NEVER too late!
I was married twice and divorced. I am on my own for some years now. Deep in my heart I think it is never too late, but now I am 69 I still think all the time if it is really worth it to start again a relationship. I don't date and I never did in the past. To put in a lot of work for what? It sounds negative but to me reality shows me that there is to me nobody special in my life. I am going out in a regular way and I have my own activities . I am not unhappy or desperate. You are right that you have to know persons how they really are. I am not a guy that falls in love quickly. I never did. Most of the time I like ladies but I don't feel anything. I respected the ex wifes and they did the same thing. We were great friends but that's it. I am not feeling a victim but I can say in all honesty that I was never really in love. I must say your comment gave me some hope to find someone and be happy with but I think and I have to take in account that it may never happen. You have to have some luck in these things.Although i loved your story as a man some years younger then me that found a nice woman. Seems very complicated to me but that is what I think. I wish you all the happiness in the world and thank you for your hopeful message.
Yup. Enjoy her taking at least HALF of your wealth soon. Congrats! Those 10 seconds are apparently worth it.
Courtney is such a beautiful, intelligent, calm, mature, lovely and kind soul. It's comforting to know that there are still such women like Courtney out there in this crazy aggressive and entitled feminist dating world.
I believed that at one time "whenever i find a romantic partner I will be happy" and when i did, it was at first. However its only a matter of time before your darkness starts showing itself again, it always does, and in my case it was no different. So, in short, no one can make you happy but yourself.
Some people are meant to be alone. I'm alone after a divorce and other relationships, and I'm content with my drama free existence.
On the point at 9:27, I just turned 24, and all of my friends are getting married. Seriously... Im in 3 weddings this year alone. While I am so happy for all of my friends, it makes me feel bad about myself and I feel pressured that I have to find somebody NOW. I know thats false, but its been a challenge. Even my ex got engaged 8 months after we broke up lol
Recently though (honestly since I started watching Courtney and implementing the knowledge she shares), I have been doing a lot better in the dating scene. I know my worth and im not willing to settle down so quickly. I think we as men need to realize our worth. Keep up the self improvement. We will find somebody. All of us. Just learn to be content in this TEMPORARY season of singleness. Love you all
Might be better to just buy a Tuxedo than rent one for 3 weddings.
@@visaman lmao thanks for the advice. Ill try to coordinate that with the 3 grooms 😉
Important things: 0:24 First thing - There is only one person out there for you; 1:32 agree with that (look for potential, not perfection); 3:12 Second thing - Be persistent, and chase her; 5:07 Third thing - You need to feel a spark; Forth thing - Love at first sight; 6:50 Fifth thing - Playing hard to get games / Mind games; 8:05 that's very well told there Courtney, that is exhausting playing these hot and cold games (or I would like to call it yes and no games); 8:14 I respect that you say in finding a hobby; 9:25 Sixth thing - It's too late for you; 9:51 finally that someone says that is never late for love, or anything at all (big respect for that and very big thank you for that Courtney); 11:34 Seventh thing - I'll be happy when I get a girlfriend; 12:05 agree with this way looking in happiness as well; 12:52 Eight thing - Right person, wrong time; 13:26 full respect for that; and 14:57 to summarize all the told as well.
Listening to you Courtney, I can say that some of these mentioned things can be used in other life situations as well, besides finding a right person to spend the whole life it. Meaning, it can be used in finding the right friends, right job for us etc.
Also when I was listening to you Courtney, some of the mentioned things made me tears coming out of my eyes as well.
Among the all of the mentioned things I remember once that one guy told me long time ago one thing. He told me that I have to show angry face. And when I heard that I was like thinking to myself: What are you talking about? Are you crazy, etc.?
The things that would be done like this or like that it's hard to say it. One of my professors from faculty told one thing as well. He told this: "It is easy to be a general after the battle. How about you to be a general during the battle, and make some crucial, and important decisions for solving the dilemmas as well."
But all in all, I agree with you Courtney that action is important as well. It would be more precise to say watch the deeds. Why? Because the deeds will tell us more than the words. The words are nothing compared with the deeds. Believe it or not.
We have to be just relaxed, and believe in ourselves as well. And just do this: Go with the flow.
"no spark" and "no chemistry" is just an euphemism for "no physical attraction"
I'm reveling in being single. Courting a woman is a side quest for me; my focus is clear and my joy is unshakable. Truly helps.
I view dating as side quests as well, many do not tie into the main story arch or my main quest. Hence, they are waste of time and resources
Just like side quests, they usually aren't worth it. But you do them for fun or storyline.
Thank you Courtney, you shed some light into something I had not given much, if any, thought to. With billions of people in this world it is indeed possible for there to be much more than just "one" right person.
Maybe "love does not have an expiration date", but dating an attractive younger woman does. Criticize all you want, but men tend to place a higher value on physical attractiveness, and that tends to wane as people age.
A very thoughtful and subtle mind. The idea that if you pursue her long enough she will like you for your persistance was common in my youth. And to a lesser extent attraction means she's the ONE. By the time I was twenty I could see that if you are attracted to her so are all the other guys, and by a little longer that if it isn't working now, and no one changes, it probably never will. These videos are really informative, as there is communication confusion btn all sexes.
I'm happy Courtney didn't speak the classic lie most women say " Looks, status, money doesn't matter.. It's all about confidence". She stated the myths of dating clearly and truthfully.
I am a man over 40 and it is all about confidence. What is stopping you from approaching at least 1 girl every single day ???
Confidence does matter but so do looks, status and money, unfortunately. You just have to find someone who likes you for your combination of these
@@SunDogGod What is the best woman. Obviously, it's a young attractive nice smart virgin. Men who are dating those girls usually don't have any money or status. Looks? In real life (without makeup or filters) there are as many attractive women as men, as many average women as average men and as many less attractive women as men.
I despise “right person wrong time” for the exact reason you said. But saying “right person wrong time” implies that there is an inverse: wrong person right time.
"the one" is whomever you find and have a successful relationship with. if it falls apart to such a degree that the relationship must end, its time to find another "the one" i was with one woman for 10 years and once the relationship was pulled so hard it snapped, i left and now i'm looking for someone else.
thank you for this particularly helpful range of topics. very encouraging. 67.5 yr old widower here.
Courtney is a beautiful person inside and out and she carries herself with such dignity.
Yeeeeees!! What a great gal
She's a youtube business brother. A plumber doesn't fix your toilet because he cares about your bowel movements. He just does what he needs to do to eat and pay bills. All these red pill females just filled a 20 year old void in the red pill market place.
1. 0:25 There's only one person out there - it's not just potential, we all have it, it's goals and dicipline.
(2:14 - 3:12 Sponsor ad)
2. 3:13 Be persistent=She will like me - dont be a creep
3. 5:08 You need to feel a spark - can be arousal, and attraction can build up!
4. 6:54 Play hard to get/Mind Games - may not be confidant! & wastes time!
5. 9:26 It's too late for you - comparison is the theif of joy.
6. 11:36 I'll be happy when I get a girlfriend - be happy on your own , it can make you a better person.
7. 12:54 Right person, wrong time - if it was the right person it would have been the right time.
in Islam there are marriage interviews.
Looks like we've got a Mythbusters-themed episode! Happy Friday, fellow viewers and Courtney!
Enjoy! Have a great weekend 🥰
I haven’t watched it yet but based upon this comment, I like it.
Hey lawrency have fun
*tips hat* Happy Friday and Aliens?
@@CourtneyRyan Well, you're wrong on the "love at first sight."
It's rare, but it happened to me, literally the first second I saw my future wife.
Now, it took a few months to get together, because I had no intention of a serious relationship at the time, and dated a couple other girls before we started going out.
About seven weeks from our 41st anniversary. No, she's never said it happened to her.
I propose a better option: Don't bother. Pursue your own happiness and goals in life.
I wanted this kind of content from Courtney's pov for a long time
Especially the points on the myths about the one person, finding that spark, etc
I'm trying to be a person who can have a perspective of seeing a potential and working with it, because that's what leads to long term fulfillment.
Thanks for making this video, and hopefully more videos come on this line of thought process.
That's a great point that if it's the right person, it would be the right time. I've dealt with so many men who just wanted hook-ups, that I don't even try talking to guys or show interest anymore.
I wish I’d learned earlier in life to stop chasing people who weren’t interested in me and spend time with people that want me around.
That's the worst one on the list, but women do it too not just men. To be fair, if the person being chased, makes it clear and boldly tells the chaser to back off, it wouldn't happen. Unfortunately, some loser pathetic dudes feel entitled and better about themselves by doing this to women.
Just be happy that you have all your arms and legs still. Many guys who do not want to accept a rejection does play with their own health..
I stopped chasing people who weren't interested in me. Now I don't chase anyone lmao
Not one single time in my life has anyone ever liked me back, it was all a waste of time in trying to convince them.
@Alexandre Tan yup but this is what the media told us and low self esteem girls. When in reality if you want low self esteem girl you would never chase
Lauren Parnell from Jacksonville, NC check every box. I’ll never find another woman like her. I wish I found your channel sooner. It could have saved that relationship.
What those expecting perfection don't get is that your love interest isn't supposed to meet all your needs. That's too much pressure for anyone and some roles you need filled can't be filled by the same person. you probably don't look for a hard-nosed counsellor to be the person that helps you lighten up and forget your problems. The person you look to for a neutral opinion about marriage challenges isn't always going to be a girl you chose for her whimsical, highly emotional gf with a flare for the dramatic. Yes, a partner is the most important person in your life, but without other relationships to dilute things a bit you will suffocate each other.
Thanks!
Thank you so much for the support ❤️
Loved this. I agreed with almost all the myths, especially with the ones about "Right person, wrong time" and "You need to feel a spark".
The only one I didn't agree with is "I'll be happy when I get a girlfriend". It's not that a girlfriend would fix all issues, but I think it's sad to go through life without having someone you truly love, and who truly loves you. The human touch and the emotional connection with a lover are not something small.
Courtney's point is that if you're not already happy then getting a girlfriend won't make you happy. Absolutely a girlfriend should add to you happiness but never expect that to be the one thing that will turn your life from unhappy to happy.
I am 47, divorced after 22 years of marriage. I thought and said to everybody I never fall in love again, or marry ever. And then out of the blue, I found my biggest, mindblowing, crushing and sweetest Love ever!!! woman with my age.
This should be titled “Dating myths everyone should stop believing” because a lot of these apply to everyone, not just men
“I’ll be happy when I get a girlfriend” is not a myth. I have a great career, a great family, friends and lots of hobbies. But I’m lonely and surrounded by people who didn’t have to learn to be happy on their own. I know 100% what it is that would make me truly happy.
I’ve not dated now for 8 years, and I’ve never been happier( dating is like working and not getting paid for doing your job) as I see it dating is one massive psychological clusterfuck of don’t do this don’t do that etc , it’s easier just to Lone Wolf it and have your life, for you,
Yeah, dating for men is like a job interview. Being interrogated by some random woman is not fun.
@@Andrew--S yeah that’s what puts me off ( plus all that warpaint they wear as well )
12:56, if she likes you, she will MAKE THE TIME, if she give you any BS about wrong time, she doesn't like you, period!
Love may not have an expiration date but the downward thrust of current dating is causing some people to find true love in their 30s, 40s, or 50s, when they otherwise could have found it in their 20s.
OR many to NEVER find it at all.
I disagree with the whole “learn to be happy alone” sentiment. People need relationships with other people or else they will develop a low self esteem and become depressed and resentful. People need romantic partners in their life for their mental health.
Brilliant, elegant, expressive, articulate, intelligent, gorgeous and a great sense of humor - love your stuff Courtney & wish I would have had a resource like you a very long time ago
I agree with not "chasing" women, BUT...there are women who admit that they want to be pursued! Even if she likes the guy she wants him to "work for it." Dating sucks!
It's definitely too late for me.
Interesting, and I always really enjoy listening to you, however:
- "It's too late" - I'm 36. I want to have a family. This means it doesn't matter what age I am, my partner needs to be within a certain age bracket. Within that age bracket I'm getting less and less chance of anyone fancying me, and I'm feeling I'm having less and less in common with them.
- "I'll be happy when I get a girlfriend". - The thing is, I am very happy in myself and in who I am but I want to go out to a restaurant, go on a day out, go on a holiday (vacation), talk, laugh, cuddle,.... I can't really do these things on my own, and all my friends are married with kids so they are largely unavailable. Though family and friends seem to really see value in me, I'm left eagerly wanting to do things, but never having anyone to do things with. (and doing things gives the chance of meeting a prospective partner).
Thank God I live Overseas And Away From The USA drama ! I Feel Fot All The Guys Its Sad 😎 Ryan
Haha not everyone is so bad!
Excellent video. I believe the root cause of these problems is laziness. In college I had to meet and talk with hundreds of girls to get dozens of dates and end up with 2 steady girlfriends by my junior year. Meeting "the right" woman is simply a numbers game. I am now 70 years old and recently divorced. To me, the apps are a form of blind dates, which I hate. I know what type of woman I am interested in and I know immediately if she has a possibility of being interested in me or if I am wasting my time. Usually I am wasting my time but I do not get offended or become a stalker--I JUST MOVE ON.
7:33 I never understood the hard to get game. whenever women acted uninterested, i've always taken those interactions at face value and left them alone as they seemed to want. then some come back later asking why i wasn't even trying, and i'm like "eh, i thought i was giving you the space you wanted 🤷🏻♂️"
As a side note, with the culture being where it is today in the #MeToo era, if a woman acts uninterested, the only safe assumption for a man is that she's uninterested. It can be disastrous for men to try and figure out if a woman is playing hard to get or is genuinely uninterested.
I tried so hard when I was younger. The pressure was real, and I had this "all or nothing" attitude.
Now as I'm approaching fifty in a couple years, my heart just can't stand the constant heartbreak. It takes me so long to recover and my spirit is too exhausted. On top of that, I am in therapy for severe depression now. I just cannot fathom being in a relationship right now. The "game" as it's called is something that I have given up on.
Love is a choice, not feeling, that's why she's right about the first one that there isn't only one for you.
🎯
Love is a feeling, what you do with it is the choice.
Men love women for who they are.
Women love men for what they can do for them.
The default word love is irrelevant since men and women seek different things.
This is the best video yet 🙏🏾🙏🏾 Thank you Courtney.
The thing with right person wrong time... There is never a wrong time even if you're going through some bs in life. This person (if the right one) would support and help you through these tough times and would if anything bring you guys closer compared to if you had met them at this so called right time, when nothing is wrong... So technically the "wrong" time could actually be the better time 🤔
I believe the wrong time tests their loyalty, and determines their compatibility. If they scurry away in fear, they’ll never stick around when things get tough. Hell, anyone who does this doesn’t belong in your life.
@@izzylandyt EXACTLY IT!!
9:30 sometimes I think like that and I'm 33 years old.
It's so good that you in pointing this out, gives me even more hope. Also confirms I know to be true.
Thank you❤
I got out of dating six years ago.
I have been off the sex for 17 years.
Somehow I still managed to end up in the gutter.
"Comparison is the thief of joy". I like it!
At 30 years old it's not too late but eventually it is too late particularly if your intent was to have a family. So yes it can be too late.
Yeah and people will judge you for still being single. Even churches will judge someone who's 30 and not married yet.
@@Andrew--S Are you living in Afghanistan or any other development country that is very restricted, religious and patriarchal structured?
@@andersnielsen6044 I live in the USA.
Very informative video! And the fact that you mentioned people in their 60’s which i am, gives me renewed hope in finding someone…
This is my question. Who wants to wait 40 years to find their partner or love? "I'm 60 years old and just found love, about to retire and old asl and now all you can do is sit in the house v watch TV and collect your social security". Nan. I think men have mental time limit while females have a biological one. I think by 30 for a female as stated having a baby and having a family begins to become a concern. As for men by 30 or between the ages of 32-35 men begin to appreciate they're in the zone in there peak of life with that decent job and things going well for them without having a lady and so they begin to protect what they have going on, an rather not deal with one especially in today's generation and as of today and just keep there peace of mind and be single. As the popular saying is right now. "The juice is not worth the squeeze".
Well said. If women didn't want me in my early 20's they don't deserve me in my late 20's.
@@Andrew--S thats all Im saying.
@@Andrew--S cap.
12:00 This part I relate to most! I’ve definitely gotten joy from learning more ways to love myself in my solitude
Lmao that's true I was just going to say that when she says she didn't feel a spark it meant she didn't have the tingles. Courtney does her homework which is why we take her seriously
This helped me highlight a lot of problems I didn't know I had. I literally just had a date today and this was helpful to have in the back of my head. Helped me just relax and have a good time. Anxious at first but I realized "I got this." Thanks!
"meeting in a nursing home"
This is not a positive thought for a young person or even middle aged
Just picture what that looks like would you look forward to that?
On expiration dates: love doesn't have one, right... but theres a timer starting a family for both men and women
The one about the ''spark'' is actually so sad. Alot of people who are very compatible will just give up after a first date because of not feeling this spark and then wonder why they are still single. Happens too often, people should give each other a bit more time and effort to let things grow and see where it goes.
If it’s not that then you have the flip side where people rush into relationships and then once they really know each other or one big argument or even simple disagreement happens, then they just run for the hills even though it could be very simple issue to resolve
@@lakerskid2013 Ditto on both!
As a 50 year old guy, I haven't even bothered to look for three years. My kids and surviving my ex have made looking at dating again, the exhaustion of it, just not worth the time.
"He was tall and attractive and said all the right things and I felt the spark and the chemistry was intense....and after getting pregnant I realized he was a narcissist sleeping with multiple women I was so blind lol"
Again kind person could attract wrong sort
Wow you guys are so naive. It has nothing to do with being kind. It’s all about physical attraction. If you are a goodlooking man women project all kinds of good qualities on to you that you don’t actually posses.
@@ashtonsmith9682 The women are naive. By nature. That's why they all have kids out-of the same situation I previously described.
@@ashtonsmith9682 like I said sometimes good guys attract wrong sorts.
If had all qualities of intelligent, caring and talented bf
But lacks physical attraction. They go out window 😂
Perhaps YOU should raise your son better than that!
You rock Courtney on your opinion on mind games. Playing hard to get is one of the worst inventions of humanity ever.
From meeting girls online or blind dates, I've commonly had the issue of the girl saying she "didn't feel a spark" or "didn't feel the chemistry" after only 2-3 dates. I've always felt that is it's unrealistic to expect to feel chemistry after only meeting a complete stranger 2-3 times. It takes time to build that connection. It can be extremely frustrating when women don't even give you the chance to know if there's something there.
Same.
Womxm go on so many dates they are numb to the process. As i said in another post womxn only feel a spark with a guy that they know is out of their league.
they probably looking for "love at 1st sight", in that sense, they should have left after the 1st date, so you gotta appreciate them for coming back for 2 more dates
Replace the word spark with dopamine, and it all makes sense.
That's not true, you can actually tell by first impression whether you like a person or not. It's innate to us just like with the animal kingdom.
11:38 this is different for people who never had a girlfriend. confidence comes from knowing you have what it takes to get her attention, make her like you and have a good chance at getting with her. you can't have it if you've never went through it.
“I didn’t feel a spark 😒”
“Oh he’s a Doctor? I suddenly feel that spark 🤩”
-same woman
I love your channel Courtney, I found a lot of help here. Thanks 🙏
“Perfectionism is the art of never being satisfied.” ― Anonymous.
The walk away point has put me at a serious disadvantage. I really liked a gal that was in most my classes in middle school and high school. I waited till she didn't have a boyfriend and missed dating opportunities. When I finally told her it was a hard rejection. In college I did very little dating. After college had a female friend that kinda stung me along for 3 years. She essentially wanted me as a backup and emotional/financial sponge.
There are definitely guy friends way worse than me that had girlfriends or gotten married. My big problem is I'm very socially introverted and the process is extremely emotionally draining.
Sign up for dancing classes. Don't think , just do it. Give yourself at least 12 months. Thank me later.
Great video as always, but there's one thing I'd like to push back on: "right person wrong time" can totally happen organically with no ill-intent on either party. Sometimes life just happens and you have to deal with it. Examples:
1) You meet someone that you seem very compatible with, but you two can't be together because they are still in the honeymoon phase with their new SO (whom they'll eventually find out is a bit emotionally unstable and not a good fit after all).
2) You're dating someone in college who is super compatible with you, but they need to go off to medical school in Boston, while you want to go off to law school in California.
I get that some people create excuses/delusions, but are these not two completely innocent examples of "right person wrong time"?
I had someone pursuing me who I also liked once. I messed it up because I knew I was moving so instead of keeping contact I just vanished with a hug and a goodbye. I kick myself over how stupid I was. More than a decade ago. One of the reasons I’m reluctant at best terrified at worse to seek someone is I’m pretty happy alone, been doing it for 6 years since the last toxic person I chased.
Courtney, what are your thoughts on the notion that women are attracted to men with a high body count? I’ve noticed some women are turned off by men that haven’t slept with that many women.
Not sure how that can even be articulated in any reasonable way.
@@MikeyP109well, I’m asking because I’ve experienced it. Many girls would rather date a guy who has a body count of 15+, instead of a guy whose body count is 2-3.
@@carlosf.3876 I just can't figure out how you know this is all happening.
@@MikeyP109 did you not read my last comment? I’ve experienced it 🙄
@@carlosf.3876ikeyP109 thinks in one dimension only. He also thinks that all men play hard to get. He probably needs coffee to wake up for the day.
Probably some 20 year old kid roaming on the internet because he got tired of Tik Tak or Instagram.
The persistence = relationships does actually work I have witness it with my own eyes my cousin was one of those guys who would persist alot and even tho he was rejected at first he kept trying eventually getting in a relationship with this person and now is married and has a family with that same perosn who rejected him so believe it anything is possible as I have witnessed it.