ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 17 ต.ค. 2022
- Manipulators are naturals at getting you to question your own sanity or perception of reality (gaslighting). And depending on who it is, it can be tough to spot, especially if the aggressor is among your close friends and family. So to help you be more aware of these behaviors, here are a few common things manipulative people say.
Disclaimer: If you can relate to any of these signs, please do not take this feedback as an attack on your character. This video was meant to be a self-improvement guide for informational purposes. Not everyone is alike, so make your judgments accordingly.
Are you manipulative without even realizing it? This video can answer your question: • 6 Signs You're Manipul...
Writer: Joshua Munoz
Script Editor: Isadora Ho
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
VO: Amanda Silvera ( / amandasilvera )
Animator: gossekidd (new animator)
TH-cam Manager: Cindy Cheong
Music Credit:
Chillpeach - Mushroom's Life: • [no copyright music] '...
References
Avenasa, C. (March 2021) 7 Phrases Gaslighters Often Use. Psych2Go. Retrieved at psych2go.net/7-phrases-gaslighters-often-use/
Power of Positivity (Feb, 2 2019). 8 Phrases Manipulators Use Often to Conceal Themselves. Retrieved at www.powerofpositivity.com/manipulators-phrases/
Holland, K. (Feb 13, 2018). How to Recognize the Signs of Emotional Manipulation and What to Do. Healthline. Retrieved at www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/emotional-manipulation
![ไม่ต้องมีที่ที่ให้ฉันอยู่ แต่ขอแค่มีฉันอยู่ก็พอ (Spaceless) - getsunova [SHORT FILM]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/MuT0d_cvJkc/mqdefault.jpg)
What are other things do manipulative people say that aren't mentioned in this video? As always, thank you for your support and believing in our mission to create awareness on all mental health topics. 🧡
L + ratio
Earlyy
You guys coughs most of them 😢
@@avaavenue4729 shut
Can you do me a favour
If you ever think that being a manipulator is cool and badass, don't even think about it. The small amount of satisfaction you get from the result of mangling others emotionally is not worth the amount of regret and self guilt. Just saying for the ones that romanticize being a "baddie"
Thanks for sharing!
That's true, and it's also why people who have manipulated me will suffer endlessly without getting me to do anything. I found peace in that.
Couldn’t have said it better 😪
@@nonserviam.1574 Glad you could find tranquility in that. Honestly once you realize someone is manipulating it's not even worth staying near them, and seeing the final result of them being probably caught or even guessing they most likely feel bad for it now is actually satisfactory X)
fr why do people even think it's cool or something
Oof starting off strong with “the gaslighter” I hate how many times I fell for that 😢
Seeing that you are now able to identify it is a sign of growth. 🫂👍🏽
we are often conscious we are being gaslighted, but we don’t wanna admit it because « what if i was actually in the wrong and im an a**hole for reacting like that? » that’s the whole point of gaslighting. just know that the moment a person says that and you ask yourself that question, you’re most likely being gaslighted. stay safe
. brooo i literally always see you in the comments :O i just saw you on fred and evelyn's video
@@wxtchz9319 There are plenty of situations where the first phrase isn't wrong or manipulative at all, but actually exactly the right thing to say! Like, for example, if you're being emotionally or psychologically abused by someone.
Stop being so Black and white, because you're dismissing other people's experiences.
@@juicypineapple6995 it’s true that it can be the right thing to wonder about. but if someone tells you « i should be suffering more than you! » it’s definitely not out right and should be questionned. if i were to say something like that, i would say « i understand that you might be feeling bad but you have to understand that i feel this way as well. » not « i should be the one suffering more than you. »
▪︎TIMESTAMPS▪︎
1. 0:27 - I'm the one who should be mad at you
2. 1:05 - I seriously dont wanna argue
3. 1:49 - Stop exaggerating everything
4. 2:32 - They're crazy. Listen to me
5. 3:07 - Look you clearly don't understand
6. 3:32 - No you're being delusional
7. 4:07 - Why would i do that? You know I love you
Hope this helps! Xx💖
@@Psych2go I discovered Psych2Go two years ago, and it's been really helpful for me. I've learned so much from your channel, and I definitely look forward to learning more. These videos are important to me, and they teach important things. I'm also impressed by the Psych2Go channel. It's one of the best things ever created.
Point 6; What if someone cant see reality and how things works, can one say theyre delusional?(obviusly while trying to explain the situation/fact), is one being toxic/manipulative/gaslighter?
@@MiriadCalibrumAstar nah, theyre being convincing and trying to bring someone to the truth
@@Psych2go please can you add timestamps to your videos, they would be extremely helpful
The first one using guilt is the hardest, because within a family dynamic, there's no frame of comparison. I am quite familiar with that.
I am sorry to hear that. Bless you.
@@j.lsaket140 I'll be okay, there are people that probably have it rougher than me. But bless you too, and thanks.
Same here 😔
@@nickthepick8043 That's a healthy perception you have.Thank you for the blessings.
Sometimes it’s sad there’s so many of these people in our lives
Beginning with parents, teachers, friends, family and then partners
its whats happen when theres no one to nurture you(maturing and emotional inteligence), it all starts with the parents....sadly.
Sometimes, I can be manipulative which can be a safe mechanism for hiding from worse things happen. But mostly in still low-but-improvement self esteem but this is still a habit but I wanted to be loved, no matter what in consequences but everyday I learning that I can't get everything I want but that's okay. The whole point of a relationship is being with a open mind and heart so I try to improve that to move forward. Plus to mention, Amanda (your VO) has advancing her game lately so that's nice.
The challenging part about #1 is.. what if both parties are genuinely somewhat in the wrong? Not all interpersonal conflicts have a definitive good guy and bad guy. I might even say that most do not. I'm not defending gaslighting, I know it's a terrible thing that many of us have fallen victim to, but several conflicts are born from misunderstandings, which if left unclarified can easily lead to both individuals feeling hurt & neglected. It's quite a complicated issue.
Mhm, I totally agree. I think this is more if you see consistent patterns in the behavior of the manipulator, as in they are gaslighting you over and over rather than a one time occurrence
Think long and hard about how each of you contributed to the conflict, and honestly reflect on what you could have done differently. Then, if you talk to the other person about it, tell them that you acknowledge and take responsibility for your own actions, while reminding them that both parties were involved. This can be the start of a resolution, or a reasonable excuse to step away, depending on that person's reaction.
This again shows how much of a toxic dynamic I had been in. Actually multiple dynamics. It wasn't uncommon for my parents to use at least some of these and it was regular for me and my wife to use these on each other. We were both toxic to each other I was being over controlled by her and always my feelings were undermined because I was the bad guy in the relationship, and I was the one that's the addict, lying and always attempting at foul play. We were BOTH right AND wrong at the same time because neither respected the other ones' boundaries. That is tragic and cost us put marriage altogether.
Sorry to hear that, but very proud of you for ackwledging your problems.
I think there are many people who are not intentionally manipulative and who are not aware of how damaging this can be.
I notice that in myself.
Sometimes I express myself wrong and it can end up in saying something manipulative, although I just wanted to say how I feel.
This is so difficult and has ruined my last relationship as I was too scared to say something wrong.
Me too 🙌🏽
Between this and ‘signs you are a gaslighter’ its so hard to find out what’s real when it comes to relationships.
The “you’re delusional” one, right on with one of my friends I used to play Splatoon with.
He’s still around in my circle, but I do notice he loves to make himself look better than me (he plays ranked, I don’t waste my time with it as I’m a part time musician) and I do know for a fact that he enjoys watching me suffer.
Manipulation comes in many forms. Since I escaped the main sources of toxicity in my life, my parents, the most common type of toxicity I've personally experienced is people playing the victim.
People who play the victim are incredibly self-centered, and often only help other people to foster trust. They use this trust to build up a following to weaponize against the people they dislike.
They have an incredibly short fuse, and often perceive entirely harmless comments as personal attacks. They then accuse and gaslight the person, and tell an entirely different one-sided story to everyone who wasn't directly involved. They'll edit and delete messages to make themselves look better, and they'll try to control the situation by being emotional and linking harmless comments to sources of their trauma, whether it's real or not.
These kinds of people can cause incredible distress to their community, and are particularly effective online where they can manipulate people to launch attacks against the individuals they feel wronged them with little fear of reprisal. This can result in doxxing, death threats, and the blacklisting of completely innocent individuals by people who are complete strangers with no connection to the original perceived slight.
This kind of manipulation is particularly effective against individuals who have trouble speaking their minds, and against individuals who automatically defend their friends or loved ones without considering the truth of the situation. Once the manipulator has a strong enough hold on their community, they may enforce their power by indirectly threatening their friends with the community they wield. They force themselves into D&D games, youtube videos, streams, gaming events, social gatherings and more by commenting about how wrong it would be to exclude them. If anyone declines to invite them to these such events, the manipulator will weaponize their community against this person and make up various lies and half-truths that paints the innocent individual as a villain.
Look out for the red flags and warning signs listed below. If someone portrays these signs, they might be playing the victim.
*They make an open declaration that they're frequently attacked or harassed by other people with no prompting. They tell a sob story about how other people always attack them, and rarely portray any guilt on their part.
*They're overly emotional, and feel personally attacked by harmless comments not directed towards them.
*They gossip, often telling you about various problems other people have caused for them. They use this to get you to sympathize with them, preparing you to defend them against innocent people they don't like in the future.
*They are incredibly private, and often refuse to let others see their messages for proof of the harm they claim was done to them. Their excuse for this is often shallow, and they often cite past trauma or refuse to talk about why they refuse to screen share in the first place.
*They can't stand a person who disagrees with them, and argue endlessly against viewpoints that don't line up with their own. They declare that this arguing isn't hostile on their part, but hypocritically accuse people arguing back of needlessly attacking them.
*They seem to be at the center of most of the drama within a community. They're personally involved in any upset, and they go out of their way to disproportionately attack and harass those they see as being in the wrong.
There are many more behaviors these people express, so be careful out there. Remember that having this kind of friend is a ticking time bomb - it's never worth it to keep them in your community, as they'll always fracture and split it apart. The only people left as their friends tend to create an echo chamber that amplifies their voice, so joining such a community puts you at a serious risk of being harassed by a large number of people should you disagree with them.
As an empath, it is absolutely extremely difficult to know when to put yourself first and shut off your feelings to their's.
It's been almost a full year since I left my narcissistic, manipulative abuser. And I'm still finding myself thinking about the good times and somehow missing them 😔
It just still really hurts to have been used that way, when all I ever wanted for them or did for them, was what was best for them. Never putting myself first, until the day I left. All of it, unappreciated if ever even acknowledged 😥😥😞😞
I can totally relate, but the good thing is I've been only one month out of that relationship (he ended it) and am already forcing myself to move on heart broken and still missing him as hell without being able to sleep well sometimes. I'm even going to therapy to work on these emotions and be able to completely move on because I really want to meet someone who can appreciate and reciprocate my sincere love 😊
I hope you will fell better with time. Yes, it's hard to stop relations with manipulator. And it's even worse to stop it with the actually good people.
I just wish you luck. You deserve to be happy and have a bright, good future. If you really want to get help just ask anyone to talk with you.
If you need we can talk too. I feel a little better every time I help someone.
Sorry for bad English - it's not my main language.
@Erikudeji this message addressed for you too and for any another people who also feels bad.
@@gameser6052 Thank you for being so kindhearted. And I appreciate your words. It helps to be told those things. Almost especially from a stranger 🤍
I pray Blessings over your life, as reward for your good nature and kindness 🤍❤️🤍
@@supermegaawesomeultragal7820 good luck you too. I just feel sad irony image about situation where people who got fully ignored in real life get a shine of hope in internet...
Heh, I think about it everytime. Think about it too. Some kind words can just save someone's live.
Let's just make this horrific world a little better.
@@gameser6052 Hear, hear!
One of the most disturbing things for me is when you're aware that they're not conscious of what they're doing and genuinely believe everything they did and said were true. But when you try to point this out, they get defensive or try to turn it on you
7 Things Manipulative People Say
(1) 0:28 | "I'm the one who should be mad at you."
(2) 1:06 | "I seriously don't want to argue"
(3) 1:48 | "Stop exaggerating everything"
(4) 2:32 | "They're CRAZY. Listen to ME."
(5) 3:07 | "Look, you clearly don't understand"
(6) 3:32 | "No, no, you're being delusional."
(7) 4:08 | "Now.. why would I do that? You know I love you."
you’re so fast holy moly
Thank you!
My mother, my sister and my father all of them said those exact words to me through years of my life. 22 years of life. Been manipulated, lied to, yelled at, felt scared, blamed for things i didn't even do, been laughed at, bullied, pushed around, felt very hurt, lonely, full of hatred for those people. A year ago, i was very depressed, i stayed in the house for 2 months and never left the house once during those 2 months. I had suicidal thoughts, self hatred, self criticism, felt a lot of pain in my chest because of the stress. I tried to kill myself with scissors but i couldn't do it. Fell in love with a woman who didn't feel the same way about me. I had a slight drinking problem but i stopped a long time ago. I numbed myself a lot for a long time. I felt nothing and my mind was blank. I began feeling again, i was yelled at again and again by my mother, my sister and my by father. I was becoming numb again but this time i pinched myself and i did some push ups and i was feeling again. I felt warm and alive. I am still struggling these days but i am better compared to the way i felt a year ago. For a whole year. And i'm not going to give up on myself. And one day, possibly pretty soon, i'm going to cut off all contact with my parents and my sister for good and never be bothered by them ever again and simply make my own happiness in every way. For those people who have struggled with similar things, i'm sorry about that and i hope that you guys are a lot better these days. And for those who are still going through that, do what's best for you. Whether you choose to let go of those people completely or want to be a family again, that is entirely up to you. I wish all of you peace, love, kindness, respect , joy, happiness and strength. Never give up and never surrender. ✊✊✊✊✊✊✊✊✊✊✊✊✊✊✊✊✊✊💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪
Sounds like you're in a better place already--if you were not, you wouldn't be planning on how to make more improvements. Good for you!
wishing you the best of luck!
Society is gettin pressured so much that they don't even realize how their manipulated person's .
Didn't even start watching but ik its going to be amazing
Hi! Woohoo! Early squad! Thanks for tuning early!! - Cindy
Thank you for posting this. This seems to be posted when I really needed it. I’m already aware of manipulation going on in my life currently. No, the phrases aren’t specifically being used, but I can feel the manipulation. And it’s getting to the point where I will have hatred for this person and unfortunately another person for a while. Harder when is your parents
Yes, it is harder when it's family. Please be strong. I told one manipulator in my life "Hey, I love you. If you want something, just ask. Stop trying to put a guilt-trip on me. It doesn't work." Surprisingly, that worked with my Grandmother and she treated me better after that. I told her as gently and firmly as I could. I was totally surprised when it worked.
One of my now ex friends, have used all of these against me and my partner, they were really toxic and were constantly using s-h(self harm), to try and force us to do things that they wanted, and everytime we tried to do anything or do things on our own, or organise things with other friends, they would constantly play the *trauma* or the younger or s-h cards, to get there way. Me and my partner have cut them out completely now, but this video helped me realise, they might of been doing worse than what we thought.
I had a relationship like this about 8 years ago. I always find myself worrying that I'll turn into that person but this was somewhat comforting in that I don't do any of these things
As long as you’re aware of it, you might be good. I honestly worry about the same thing because I’ve been told i manipulate things. I actually do my hardest not to, so being told that recently by my mother was completely soul shattering and made me freak out and question myself
Urgh oath ... I am waiting for this guy to message me back into his life and if he does I am gonna agree to meet up and punch him in the gut strait out as soon as I see his grin.
This week has been one of the toughest for me. My bf tried to commit suic!de, and after what it seemed like a hell and he finally started talking again about the future, our future, out of nowhere told me that he was making a plan to try again and this time he won't be stupid enough to be safe. He told me about it, just to me, and said that he was doing it 'cause he loved me very much and I was so important to him that he felt he needed to tell me his plans. But talking with my therapist yesterday I realized he has been manipulating me the whole time. And he might be using the suic!de thing as a weapon 'cause he knows I've been dealing with suic!de thoughts my while life. He even made me feel like I was crazy for being triggered by him, and also that I was a coward for not trying to do it before. I blocked him in everything and though I'm freaking sad right now and disappointed, I feel free. I hope everyone in a relationship like that finds the professional help They need to get out of there. Thanks for this video. Xoxo.
that last one hits HARDDD! I've been in to many similar cases like that and the end usually goes the same way; personally, love can be expressed in various ways. Some ways might not seem that impactful to certain people and others just believe it's wrong completely. If it's not your way of showing love then explain what works well for you and/or settle for an agreement...gosh..
I recently had a horrible argument with a friend of mine. The 1st phrase really hit me. I was telling this friend to stop talking about my best friend behind his back and then they got extremely mad and said things like, "you do it too" just to make themselves feel better. I feel so stupid to have actually apologized to that person. But now I realize this stuff is toxic and I'm finally gonna get rid of them.
I hate the fact that I used to be like this. In 2020 I was in a relationship and I would always be so manipulative toward the poor girl :( The fact that I cause her so much trauma hurts me so much. But I ended up getting therapy for it and I've changed. I'm really glad I did, I'm now in a healthy polyam relationship and it's going really well!
I have to admit I was a manipulator. I used to gaslight them into thinking it’s their fault and then gain pleasure off them being hurt because of me. I knew I was one, but it only made my desire to manipulate become greater. I’m starting to stop these toxic behaviours, it’s been 1 year but I’m learning :)
Thank you for your efforts, and for trusting us with your acknowledgement. That's a huge point in your favor!
I've had things of this nature said to me alot. Recently coming out an argument that left me hurt and blamed when they ofc know the situation and circumstances they said they wouldn't place me in. Hearing it again, kind of makes me sad. An eye opener for sure, making sure not to lose my head.
My mother has said things like this to me for most of my life. Unfortunately, it has become clear that I cannot have a functioning relationship with her anymore on account of her minimising everything I say. This is especially when I have raised legitimate grievances over how I was unfairly treated by others (namely my brother and sister and she dismissed such grievances. I am putting an end to all of this BS once and for all by the end of this week
Good for you! Wishing you the best:)
From my personal experience i'd add a #8: " What have they ever done for you (that I haven't done before) ?"
A 'friend' tried to undermine my trust in other people that wanted to help me before by diminishing their efforts and praising himself for just 'being my friend'.
Little he knew I was aware of what he was trying to do. He'd try at least 3 or 4 tactics on the video to make me believe only him and not others or myself.
I'm glad to say he's not my friend since last september.
Honestly, I wish sooo much that I had these videos when I was being manipulated and gaslighted and treated as a child continuously by my mother well into my 20's. That last one really hit me hard. But I'm glad that I'm watching these now.
I've been a victim of several manipulative friendships, once when I went to discuss in a group my "friend" made it seem like I was the culprit, and in the end wave said that: "it was a mistake to try to resume our friendship" I regretted so much that I didn't say one: "i say the same" After I realized the situation I just said goodbye instead of saying that, then it seemed like I was to blame instead of her, she was so dry with me, treated other friends differently and etc... I wish I had ended our friendship when I had the chance, otherwise I would have been humiliated and deceived all over again.
I felt on my skin some of those points years ago when I ended my last long relationship. I still remember the frustration when i had to go through points 1, 2 , 3 and 7. And the 1 and 7 are the most damaging here I think. Anyway those are MY experiences... Many of people here probably had different ones. And thank you again for the valuable helpful episode dear psych2go.
I've manipulated to avoid making situations worse. Sometimes it's needed, especially when the other individual does not understand the slippery slope we're about to fall off of by continuing the conversation.
Appreciate the new video. I do have to say that I'm a bit concerned by some of the phrases you used to summarize. In healthy interactions with my partners, almost all of those phrases have been used to communicate appreciate reactions. For example "I don't want to argue" is a phrase I use often to emphasize how a non-combative communication is essential to constructive dialogue. It's not like every time these phrases are used by an individual they are attempting to manipulate you.
I’ve fallen for two men who were master manipulators. I allowed them to make my life a living hell.
I finally realized that I’m better than sort of twisted treatment - thank goodness.
Good for you!!
there is positive maipulation and negative.
you described the negative one. the one even i would say "frik u leave my place"
i say: manipulate your relationship as hard you can- but in a way so the best possible for both of ya comes out.
help your partner without them knowing.
see how happy said partner will be and not even knowing why or how.
be a good partner. dont abuse your close one.
Yesss, there are positive and negative manipulation!
@@Psych2go ^w^
i kind of expected this, my “friend” is always getting angry at me over little things. yet they arent like this towards ANY other person, every time they get angry/mad at me, i always feel at fault, i know that im not the one in the wrong but i still feel like it. And it’s constantly on my mind. it feels like stepping on egg shells when i’m around this person, always trying to keep them happy
I love watching these types of videos from your channel. Me and my friends love to make stories by role playing
We text to each other acting like characters. And if I wanna play a character that might be manipulative I can use this video as a guide of how the character may act.
Thank you so much for this 🙂 it was much needed
This was really hard but really good for me to hear. I really miss my (mental and emotional) abuser/manipulator from time to time but I have to remember that it wasn't friendship it was manipulation
@@FireRams_arisinglion okay what is your deal, my guy? I've seen you commenting on a lot of comments on this channel and you're either a troll or someone who has no life outside of attacking people on a channel where they are just trying to get some mental help. I sincerely hope you feel better soon.
@UCxRAZMZr_ddsqISCYX4q_Ww well at least you have some kind of line you won't cross, I guess. I'm an adult, but even if I am it's really not cool to say these things to people in the comments of this channel. Mental health is not a joke and definitely not something that makes someone a "fruitcake". I'm sorry but I'm gonna start flagging any comment like this of yours that I see if you don't stop, because being triggered isn't a joke either. Mental health triggers can impact people horribly and set them back on all the progress they've made. Again, thank you for at least having some kind of boundary, but please please please stop this, it isn't a good way to spend time and definitely isn't doing anyone a service either. You're doing more harm than good even if you think it's funny.
@@FireRams_arisinglion well, I certainly hope you recover soon. My sympathies, I know mental illness is no joke. I highly recommend you seek therapy, because this is not a healthy coping mechanism for everyone, but this is your life and I obviously can't and shouldn't be able make you do anything. I also believe in individual freedom, but I do believe that if your words could potentially mentally hurt someone to the point of self harm (which they can, I've been depressed to the point of s****ide before and I know) then I'll definitely step in. Sorry. But props to you for being honest, and once again I will sincerely pray that you can recover and make more progress
@@FireRams_arisinglion full disclosure you scare me a little bit, but I do appreciate the gesture since you were genuinely trying to give me some advice. It isn't good to view others as weak just because you don't have any filter or boundaries. Though I know you can't fully realize that at the moment, but again I do appreciate the reaching out and trying to help, it's nice of you and the gesture is sweet. Once again I suggest you seek some more help and stop bringing others down, that's all. And if this all is just a very elaborate troll then good job because you totally fooled me.
@@FireRams_arisinglion well, best of wishes to you, too!!! It's honestly been very interesting talking to you, and that's not a backhanded compliment I truly mean it. And me once again being ambiguously honest (you're right, it is fascinating the things you can talk about online) I figured as long as you were talking to me you wouldn't be trolling others so I was happy to talk. That wasn't the only reason though, it was cool to talk to someone with your kind of mindset, even if it is one I vehemently disagree with and see as insanely unhealthy. But I'm glad we had this conversation. You're the only troll I've ever met capable of a decent conversation beyond "tRigGeReD lOl" and I'm glad that we were eventually able to talk like civilized people. So yeah thanks for this conversation, and I super and seriously hope that you find yourself on the best possible path for you and the world around ya. Best wishes!
I feel like the guilt one can be used in so many ways.
Another I've noticed is they start talking about x or y "Oh did you saw how cool this is? I wish I could have it. It looks cool but it's a bit pricey for me" especially when doing it constantly and about one specific thing.
Thanks for sharing!
I really needed this video, recently i made it publicly known that i wrote a suicide note. A person who i had a friendship with that died out reached out to me. Saying suicide isnt the answer & how they hope they aren't the cause of this. I was worried that i was guilt tripping them but i replied with their not the problem & shouldn't be accountable for my own mental health, thsts a large amount of baggage no one, should be responsible for.
Thanks for making this video!
You're very welcome! I hope you learned something new. If there are any feedback or topic requests. Feel free to share in the comments! - Cindy
i havent exactly been hit by THESE phrases.. it was more or less reworded to the point where i can still relate to it
for me, I was in a relationship for someone for a little while who justified their trauma for everything and ANYTHING, especially for emotionally hurting me very badly which made me think I was overreacting (even typing this makes me feel like I am overreaction right now-)
For everytime I got mad in the *slightest* for an understandable reason, they played victim.
But I think the reason why I didn't notice I was being manipulated for so long was because of them either saying it in a way that they were hurt so badly by me that made me feel sympathy, the last reason mentioned in the video, or they expressed some of these ways listed here through actions and not directly through the words here. So yeah, manipulators can often do it in indirect ways or even be a manipulator without realizing it
either way, I feel much much happier now that I cut them out, these videos make me feel better in knowing what to avoid next time until I fully heal from them haha
I was in special ed for Autism for all of K12 school. When I got to high school, my SE teacher at the time always said these things to me. She was incredibly impossible to communicate with even though she was supposed to help me learn how to communicate things, at least for me she was, but she had a REALLY good reputation with others. I would try to tell this woman what I was going through but she wouldn’t listen to anything I had to say to her, but instead would say things like “you’re being so dramatic. This is a small problem.” And she would also ask me things like if anyone got hurt or ended up in the hospital. I remember there was one time my freshman year when we were starting on a new grading period, so we didn’t have much work assigned to us yet, but she made me check my teachers’ websites anyway. So I checked them like she told me to, but then she got furious that I didn’t spend five minutes checking them. I corrected her and told her that there wasn’t anything new assigned, so I didn’t see any point in spending longer on their websites. Then, she tried to make me go to her classroom during lunchtime the next day, but I’d just found a new friend group that I’d been sitting with, and it was the first time I’d genuinely enjoyed time with friends. So then I started crying because she accused me of not doing what she asked and then tried to isolate me from my friends, but then she said, “you should not be the one crying. You were the one who yelled at me, so I should be the one crying.” Like, come on, lady. It’s the beginning of the new grading period and you’re trying to isolate me from my friends. You’re supposed to be the mature adult in this situation, while I’m just an emotional teenager who’s going through it. I’m actually in college now, but the things this woman said to me still really hurt. I mean, I do make time to realize what I’m worth, despite all that she told me, but manipulative people really stick around.
hello! glad to be early :)
edit: you are so close to 10 million, congratulations!🎉
Hi! Woohoo! Early squad! Thanks for tuning early and your support! We are close to 10mil supporters supporting our mission to create awareness. How should we celebrate? - Cindy
@@Psych2go maybe you should make a happy 10 million cake with a vlog! it would be so cool:)
Yes. All of these things have been said to me. :( I still can't shake the sadness off 2 months after the breakup. Seeing this video was eye-opening.
It's important to remember that my feelings about another person are my own, and are not directly related to that person's feelings toward me. I am perfectly comfortable saying that I love someone, while still being glad that the relationship is over. I hope this helps someone else who may be struggling with conflicting emotions.
Manipulative people are always tough to deal with and they can be so draining! The worst part is that they operate ever so subtly and you might not notice the signs until it has gone full blown. Sad.
One of the ways I was manipulated was by being in a situation with someone where I physically could not leave even if I wanted to and they made sure to make life hell for me if i didn’t do whatever they said. They also acted as if we were dating when in reality I hated her because she constantly assaulted me
Exactly this is what happened to me.😭
Very sad that there were many I dealt with and society paid the price. Now, I'm working hard to repair the damages
You got this!
@@Psych2go they've been trying very hard to come back into my life and I'm at the point where if I do, nothing will change. I have this! 😊🙏
"What about all the times youve hurt me?" Said my grandmother who was my motherly figure.
I love how all these sign videos are useful to everyday life for me
Now I know I am the manipulator to myself
My problem is because I've had manipulative family in my life for the majority of my life (I'm 35) it gets very difficult to identify when you're being used as a scape goat and when you're being manipulative but not realising it.
I know a people like this and it’s so hard to get rid of them especially when their family
Thank you for the tips.
Hi phyc2goers I'm a huge fan of yours and this was definitely informative kindly on your next one do talk about space filler 😩
Nice video♥️🙆🏻♂️
Anyways...I don't care if anyone tries to do all those things... I'm not naive to fall for that
I'm just glad that I'm not the manipulater and I don't treat others as my puppets 🙆🏻♂️
I mean I say some of these things like I don't want to argue but it's cos the other does get argumentative even after I apologize and shit like this just confuses me even more because I feel what I say is genuine and it's mostly because I'm tired of being called stupid or yelled at or dealing with their IED outbursts
I myself am turning into a manipulator, after my mom. She manipulates me way too much I’m starting to take after her. I don’t know who I should reach out to.
Question: Is there such a thing as a benevolent manipulator? Who manipulates things for a will, instead of a petty personal emotion, or is that not a thing? 🤔 💭
I think that isnt a thing..
I was wondering the same, like if the purpose is to solve a situation and not putting themselves above/in control of others
@@bbkyuu i got the idea but why wouldnt they chose getting the controls instead of just solving problems
They're called Leaders ;)
@@reinaldomartinez13 yeah i guess
The last one the number 7 is kinda me... Thank you for opening my eyes about this i actually regret to be honest... Thats why my bf want me to see me change i am glad about it letting me change for the better who i am... Thanks for helping realized my mistakes of my past.
Could there be also an instance where they'd be "open" about the situation, act like they want tk "talk about it" but here's a thing they then add a counterargument where they'd make it look like it's not their own thoughts, and instead using it as a truth and manipulate you into believing THAT is the truth.
It's like, a talking position paper.
Talking as-if they're not into something, but all their opinions are trying to lead you to convince that they are right or they're not in the wrong.
They play both ends against the middle,alienating you in the company of friends and the minute you leave,they vehemently hate on their "friend" and make you believe it's the same person that is causing all of the shady shit,the shit they have done,keeps you alienated where you can't get help,thing is you don't understand at the time,you end up questioning your own feelings, thoughts and mind.
I literally escaped hell!
That's insane how the video is actually describing my ex with such a great precision
for 2, i actually don’t want to argue bc arguing every single day is draining my life force 💔
for 3, i think its pretty extra to say i’m a guilt tripper, manipulator, narcissist, gas-lighter etc
for 5, they need a lot of context most of the time to understand one thing
but now im starting to think i am a manipulator..
So close to 10 million!!!
One particularly manipulative person in my past used to repeatedly bring up a disagreement we’d had, knowing neither of us had had any change of heart, and when the conversation would inevitably reach that same familiar point of impasse, and I once again declared my final stance, he’d dismissively say, “How long are you gonna keep beating that dead horse!?” After several years, I finally replied, “Until you get it the hell off my front porch!” Ultimately I found myself a new front porch, and I never humor anyone who (figuratively.. or literally, for that matter) would try to deposit an animal cadaver on it.
I really really hate manipulative people it gets me really angry. Plus there are some that are still doing it till this day which is really sad.
Okay but I have used a “I don’t want to fight anymore ” because I was in an argument with a friend and I just didn’t want to fight with them anymore because they where my best friend at the time and they where throwing out really hurtful words, is that toxic? Or is it if you use that “I don’t wanna fight”sentence repeatedly?
Hi PsychToGo,I have a suggestion of a video topic.
What about you make a video about autism? Many autistics doesn't know about this and even who knows feels like they are alone,and it's hard to find good content about it.
I hope this is a good theme for a video.
Your videos are great and help me a lot in various situations.
Thank you for suggesting new topics! I will share it with the team! - Cindy
Manipulative people ,Do not understand the concept of boundaries ,they are relentless in thier pursuit of what they want ,and they have no regard for who gets hurt along the way.....
What was the background music for this video?
I found it strangely pleasant and relaxing.
My EX Boyfriend used a lot of "I wont argue with you" ,
then proceded to argue until I say something and when I wont he'd say "See how stupid your reasoning was? You don't even have anything to argue back!!"
Or also things like "Do you even understand how I feel? I feel like crap! Good for you that you have firends that you can go out with, but Im alone and have nobody!"
I did this shit for four years. almost three of them i didnt have any friends of my own because of the guild tripping.
I like to say I am sorry for you I wish you a healthy patient recovery with well established boundaries
I love the animation!!!! So cute!
But why does the thumbnail look so different? 🤔
it hurts so much hearing this especially it's my bestfriend who is manipulative, my mental health is really affected big time.
I’ve seen lot of people did that. And my late mother was a manipulative. She lied to my father. Played victim. Controlling. Narcissistic. Abusive. She have no concept about family. Until her early death and, I was told it was Borderline Personality Disorder. During her funeral about 3 people there not kids.
Please please please do a video about emotions! I cry when I’m excited, get angry when I’m happy, and get anxious when I’m angry. Thank you so much! 💗🫶🏼
Yeah I heard those words before / thank you for the video
I didn't ask you to hit my insecurities (I fear I'm a subconscious manipulator)
Surprisingly enough, I've never told anything like that. But most of them have been told to me or I've thought them to myself. Kinda sad.
How do I break the habit of manipulating? Like I ask a lot of these questions mentioned in the video out of instinct and habit, I manipulate a lot basically, how do I stop doing it?
I watch vids like this mostly to check myself and make sure I'm keeping my relationships healthy
This video was a strong trigger for me, my ex and a former best friend did all of this to me, still trying to heal but it's hard to even breath sometimes, i'm still grateful for kwoing I'm not crazy, I know I'm not perfect but I really tried my best to be a good gf and friend.
beats me... why do i feel so mad hearing about these things... like that person checked almost everything in this and it hurts. sigh.
I've experienced this and I've turned into a blind eye for 3 years. Watching this makes me remember all of the shit she told me and I'm so happy i finally broke our relationship. She's trying to get me back bye harassing me..
Fighting the urge to send this to my mom, She does 6/7 of these things all the time and I hadn't even realized until now.
Thank you
I'm the one who always recieve those words. I'm so tired hearing it everyday from people I love & care the most.
I had a lot of trouble with this in school. While I've gotten better at minimising this? Now I'm constantly scared I have manipulated my current relationships.
I literally have all and i mean ALL of that. I'm actually aware of that i think i have been like that since i was a kid.
I usually don't give it too much attention because it's like something very normal of everyday but it's always there.
When someone talks about that makes me feel worried or sad because i am like this
One of the problems is that i have "Hyper sensibility" or whatever that makes me go sad or angry bc of anything but at another level and that makes the other people to notice me even more.
I don't know what to do about this, i'm just triying to keep being a better person everyday
😞🙏✝️
i’ve been manipulated for 9 years by my best friend, all of these things i’ve been through.
i once asked to skip out on a easter or something cause i said i felt sick (i actually have too much social anxiety and depression and fail when i try to socialize, especially when i feel judged or like people hate me) and my sibling came all the way home just to get mad at me and accused me of “not wanting to hang out with the family” and literally was trying to pick a fight with me instead of understanding or asking me why. it’s like she wanted to accuse me of what she wanted to believe what she thinks about me and change the narrative to me being “selfish” or something or me “not wanting to hang out with my family” like she accused me of, and that’s not true. i just have social anxiety and depression and it’s hard to hang out around anybody anymore... does anyone think that what my sibling said was dismissive of my feelings or emotional abuse? i feel like she’s just always criticizing me and treating me passive aggressively and like doesn’t seek to understand me but instead tries to use my weaknesses against me to paint me as a bad person or something when in reality my sibling has never once asked if i’m okay, instead just judged and assumed the worst intentions of me. idk it’s weird. it’s just like she’s trying to dismissive me and turn people against me. she makes it seem like she’s so nice to me and caring towards me but literally kicks me when i’m down and doesn’t care to lend a hand when i’m drowning in depression unless it makes her look good.
I am going through the exact same thing with my sister...... Don't worry you are not on your own.....
I am an empath and I find the first one so hard to avoid, the person I know is my friends best friend and I don’t have anyone anymore. I realised the tricks but still fall for them every time because I just can’t bring myself to fight back! Any tips??
....And now I'm crying
1. I'm the one who should be mad at you
2. I seriously don't want to argue
3. Stop exaggerating everything
4. They're crazy, listen to me
5. Look, you clearly don't understand
6. No no, you're being delusional
7. Now why would I do that? You know I love you.
The one who is manipulating me is much more gentle than that. I'm told that I have forgotten what we decided ( i DO forget a lot so it's possible). I'm told that they "just don't want to talk about it anymore". I'm made to feel that I'm almost always in the wrong. So, I think I have 'manipulator lite" rather than the full-bloon manipulator. But, they don't know it, I have a plan. This won't last forever. I may be being manipulated, but I am not stupid. I have a plan to turn this off.