8 Signs of a Controlling Partner To Watch Out For (when you get a partner)

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 มิ.ย. 2024
  • Are you in a controlling relationship? Controlling relationships can be hard to spot, especially when you're in one. Control is actually a form of emotional abuse that can cause permanent damage to the person's psyche and mental health, as well as the relationship itself. Being in a controlling relationship for a long amount of time can also increase the likelihood of depression, low self-esteem, and anxiety, so it's important to identify the signs. Think you might be controlled or controlling? In this video, we will be talking more about the things controlling partners do in relationships.
    If you relate to this video and want to learn more about gaslighting, which is also a form of emotional abuse, you can check out this video: • 10 Warning Signs of Ga...
    Writer: Ria Parikh
    Script Editor: Morgan Franz
    Script Manager: Kelly Soong
    VO: Amanda Silvera
    Animator: Naphia
    TH-cam Manager: Cindy Cheong
    References
    Bonior A. “This Is How Controlling Partners Disguise Their True Selves”. Psychology Today. Friendship 2.0. 15 December 2016.
    Bonior A. “20 Signs Your Partner Is Controlling”. Psychology Today. Friendship 2.0. 01 June 2015.
    Valentine M. “5 Subtle Signs Your Partner Is Controlling and What to Do About It”. Goalcast. 17 October 2018.
    “11 Reasons Why People in Abusive Relationships Can’t ‘Just Leave’”. One Love. N.d.
    Have a story you would like to share with us? Email us here editorial@psych2go.net

ความคิดเห็น • 834

  • @Psych2go
    @Psych2go  3 ปีที่แล้ว +214

    What's new for everyone lately? Comment below, and let's connect.

    • @tigerlilly4848
      @tigerlilly4848 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Ok, I’ve been feeling a bit stressed lately about school, but I’m doing better

    • @TheScholar1
      @TheScholar1 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      My ex and I were in a codependent toxic relationship where we both self harmed. She has my two year old son and I see him for an hour a week. People often think that courts solve everything, no, they don't. Unless you are loaded with cash then no, sadly. I'm pretty close to committing suicide and no one has any idea, not my mother, my brother, my therapist or my best friend.

    • @pua3025
      @pua3025 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      i spend a lot of time regressing because my old partner cheated on me and i'm still not okay..

    • @iquestionmyself9678
      @iquestionmyself9678 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I didn’t eat for 25 hrs

    • @the_dark.22
      @the_dark.22 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      God I...I met a lot of these signs...do I have a controlling boyfriend?...I'm scared...

  • @QuestionEverythingButWHY
    @QuestionEverythingButWHY 3 ปีที่แล้ว +405

    “Remember...Whoever is trying to bring you down is already below you.”
    ― Ziad K. Abdelnour

    • @SantanaCampbell
      @SantanaCampbell 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      "God meant it unto you for GOOD!" ~Genesis 50:20

  • @MrJoon360
    @MrJoon360 3 ปีที่แล้ว +129

    Don't allow someone to change who you are into something they want. Control is not love, it is manipulation.

  • @inbasicterms-popculturevid1704
    @inbasicterms-popculturevid1704 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1587

    If you walked away from a
    toxic, negative, abusive,
    one-sided, dead-end
    low vibrational
    relationship or friendship
    - you won.

    • @RedRoseSeptember22
      @RedRoseSeptember22 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      I did :)

    • @ladybugradio1988
      @ladybugradio1988 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      RedRoseSeptember22 same here and I am so happy that I got out.

    • @allysonlewis3678
      @allysonlewis3678 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Yay I won c:

    • @thecaptainplus
      @thecaptainplus 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      You won and they lost because you are continuing a new phase in life liberated, while they wallop in their darkness

    • @makenziestacey4731
      @makenziestacey4731 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Sadly I've had to leave one relationship and two (three?) friendships for those reasons.. Youd think I'd learn but I was real little when it all started so I thought it was normal.. Now I'm 16 and know it's not..

  • @patriciajmeneses
    @patriciajmeneses 3 ปีที่แล้ว +399

    For anyone who feels that they’re toxic:
    It’s okay to realize this! I was all of this. I would spend hours telling my bf how it’s all his fault & I did this for months bc of how I was treated in the past & how I grew up & one day, I realized it wasn’t him, it was me. After those crappy 4 months of our relationship & almost breaking up that one time bc of my dumb ass being toxic & blaming EVERYTHING on him; here we are now (: . We’re almost 1 year & 5 months into our relationship & i have worked on a lot of those signs that they put. Life is so much easier knowing that YOU can break those habits & cycles of toxicity. Even if you’re not in a relationship, it will still help you in the long run.

    • @Psych2go
      @Psych2go  3 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      Thank you for the reminder and reassurance! What made you realize this behavior?

    • @hgzmatt
      @hgzmatt 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Great! I'm glad you figured this out, for your sake and his. In some parallel universe my ex maybe learned the same lesson. Just not in this one. How we project our own past and pain onto others is truly astonishing.

    • @seashell907
      @seashell907 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Finally someone in the comments who is not making me cry. I pretty much have grown up being replaced so much, to the point where if someone even talks to a friend of mine I will scream at them or hurt them because I go out of control. I feel like it's my fault but I know it isn't.

    • @swarnali_saha_
      @swarnali_saha_ 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      I want to know how you overcome those traits. I'm in a similar situation like yours but i just don't know what to do to overcome my toxic traits.

    • @patriciajmeneses
      @patriciajmeneses 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@swarnali_saha_ it’s a great thing you want to overcome them! It takes a lot of patience & time to fully break this habit but I know you can do it. So for my situation, I communicated with my partner & asked how i should’ve supported them differently. Knowing how I could’ve done differently compared to what I’ve done before helped me compare & pin point where the toxicity in my behavior was. There were a few times where I go back into those habits but it’s totally normal as long as each of those times you KNOW you’re going to learn from it. It takes a lot time & patience that as of right now, I don’t do any of my toxic traits anymore. I’m more supportive & happier now in my relationship.

  • @ryleeannhill5518
    @ryleeannhill5518 2 ปีที่แล้ว +134

    I just broke up with my boyfriend tonight and it’s all bc I had a realization that he was being controlling and toxic when he would say things I would get scared but I’ve never been more proud of myself for getting the heck out of that situation sooner than later!!!!
    You can do it too I believe in you ❤️

    • @dyre7335
      @dyre7335 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      im so proud of you. i broke up with mine too. i was so blind i myself even questioned whether breaking up with him was the right thing. but he was so insecure and took away so much from me. now i want the both of us to get better

    • @rebfdur7678
      @rebfdur7678 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I am so proud of you both. I understand how girls feel on the skin with those possessiveness weak boys. You cannot have contacts of your friends because your boyfriend are jealous for example. I tried to save one girl not to hangout with me but to get out of that suffocation situation. I don't like feeble guys like that. I am boy and know perfectly how life is. Jealousy is way to hatred and selfishness

    • @lolanin4743
      @lolanin4743 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@dyre7335 how did u do it without getting hurt tho

  • @LeHaFu
    @LeHaFu 2 ปีที่แล้ว +77

    I just realized I am very abusive and controlling.Thanks for this video, I've never wanted to control my partner but my fears of abandoned and being cheated off was so strong. Also my ethical believes are so strong that I didn't want to date someone who believes and acts differently. But my partner is different and believe different. What is wrong to me is not wrong to him, so what can I do, I have to accept him and his believes. Now I know is my problem and not his and I will do better.

  • @Uncharted24Oct
    @Uncharted24Oct 3 ปีที่แล้ว +667

    My dyslexia made me read the video title as "8 things controlling PARENTS do", and well, it really fits in my situation... ^^U

    • @Alcoholpad
      @Alcoholpad 3 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      I saw that too

    • @thepest012
      @thepest012 3 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      I thought that said parents too bro

    • @sahra7769
      @sahra7769 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Me too

    • @crimsonion3052
      @crimsonion3052 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Yo me too

    • @gayathreee
      @gayathreee 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Gosh i came for it 😳😳

  • @nevel-luna5070
    @nevel-luna5070 3 ปีที่แล้ว +242

    The animation is so cute and flawless 💞🥺

    • @piedondon8726
      @piedondon8726 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I agree.

    • @egg6944
      @egg6944 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Ikrtt

    • @azzz3212
      @azzz3212 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      The artist is Naphia. Search it on youtube and god her art so cute🥺

    • @xqpxdb3705
      @xqpxdb3705 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I know right 😭🤧

    • @villav1191
      @villav1191 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      flawless as shit 💙

  • @PinkYellowGreen2023
    @PinkYellowGreen2023 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    I love being free to be ME. Im working on gaining more control over my life. Control is a form of abuse. I pray all who are mistreated by controlling people heal!

  • @tomekamontegue5122
    @tomekamontegue5122 3 ปีที่แล้ว +116

    There were many of these signs in my relationship. I accepted them because I didn’t know or understand who I was and did not know my personal Self worth or my value. It was not until I saw myself better and accepted my worth and value was I strong enough to take a stand for myself and say NO! This is not ok. No matter what people should not control or bully other people. However, if you are an easy target and these types of people find you, they will take advantage of you and your vulnerability. The answer is LOVE YOURSELF AND KNOW YOUR WORTH AND YOUR VALUE! Once you do you will in no way accept low level treatment from anyone ever again.

  • @inbasicterms-popculturevid1704
    @inbasicterms-popculturevid1704 3 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    The quiet but inexorable breaking down of self-esteem is much more sinister - it’s violation of the soul.

  • @ObsidianHearts
    @ObsidianHearts 2 ปีที่แล้ว +107

    My notes for this video, so I'll remember it for longer-
    1.) Use a lot of guilt tripping (ex. Shaming)
    2.) Try to isolate you (to gain power?)
    3.) Criticize you (breaks confidence, rather than helps you grow)
    4.) Superfically charming (They know exactly what to do to make you feel charmed?)
    5.) There is cycles (Things move in patterns, as phases and such-)
    6.) Threaten with you (Make you choose between difficult choosss)
    7.) Have conditions (Place values on certain things, to steer you into their ideals?)
    8.) Try to brainwash you (Basically intesity of the previous actions in constance, so you feels less confident in yourself and will hopefully mindlessly do what they want you to do u-u)

    • @allie6500
      @allie6500 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      hey! I would say isolation is a general tool for control. it takes away from your ability to reach out to others who may care about you, furthering your reliance on the manipulator.

    • @Tint7165
      @Tint7165 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Last point is totally correct

  • @jiminalphamaletop3472
    @jiminalphamaletop3472 3 ปีที่แล้ว +53

    I always watch this kind of videos cause I'm always trying to improve myself and wanna make sure that I'm treating my girlfriend in the best way possible and not doing any of this things... So thank you

  • @serenemaisam2393
    @serenemaisam2393 3 ปีที่แล้ว +186

    0:47 they guilt you
    1:15 they want to ISOLATE you
    1:44 they frequently criticize you
    2:21 they're superficially charming
    2:52 there are CYCLES in the relationship
    3:29 they THREATEN you
    3:54 their love has conditions
    4:13 they try to brainwash you

    • @Lianna_Is_Me
      @Lianna_Is_Me 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Wait so I'm not controlling?

    • @bigfan2452
      @bigfan2452 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Every love has conditions, love is conditional not unconditional. There are certain things that I will never tolerate from my own patner.

    • @Lianna_Is_Me
      @Lianna_Is_Me 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@bigfan2452 I mean agreed but they mean in the terms as loving someone no matter what but we all do have standards we dont get along with EVERYBODY, sometimes people aren't your taste

    • @ExtraB93
      @ExtraB93 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      You have a gift 💝 you gotta do it in a Yes 👏🏾 I will be be

    • @ExtraB93
      @ExtraB93 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yes 👏🏾

  • @renlistorm3995
    @renlistorm3995 3 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    It took me 6 years to figure out what was going on. The breaking point was when I had to choose between my family or her. She ended up dumping me because I wouldn't pick, and honestly, she was dead sweet with me to begin with, when I moved out she said she missed me, I almost went back, glad I didn't. I'm with someone now who values my thoughts and opinions and thinks I'm beautiful 💞

  • @bekyuu
    @bekyuu 3 ปีที่แล้ว +38

    It’s hard when you know you’ve been the controlling partner and you’re trying to get the help for it. I’ve been stuck in this loop of relationships not going well for me cause I gave up too easy or was put off by little things, but thinking deep about it does make me feel like a control freak and not a great person. It sucks because only my partner can see this side to me, therefore trying to get that help is just really difficult.
    I’m fed up of making people feel like shit all because the stupidest little things.
    :(
    I’m fed up of being a horrible person to the people I love.

    • @V1rando_DIO
      @V1rando_DIO 6 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I can understand why you feel that way. I also question if I am ever a good person.. so its great that you took the first step to become better.

  • @eyemoisturizer
    @eyemoisturizer 3 ปีที่แล้ว +89

    I love how you keep your voices down just for people like me who hate screaming. It makes me so happy :)

  • @alexwiley1996
    @alexwiley1996 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    I was in a toxic relationship for 4 months. I felt like I couldn’t have a life outside of my ex and my mental health was getting bad again. Thanks to help with family and friends, I was able to end it and I’ve been a lot happier since

  • @jodolls7270
    @jodolls7270 3 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    I'm all of these.. tbh to be controlling is to fight the fear of abandonment. If I don't know absolutely everything about my partner, I will overthink and paranoid. its really make me anxious and lost sleep. I'm not doing these to hurt the other person but it's more like a defense mechanism. if I don't do these, I will feel too vulnerable and gone crazy.

    • @jasmn_discarga
      @jasmn_discarga 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      My bf is like this.😟

  • @madelynbagain5623
    @madelynbagain5623 3 ปีที่แล้ว +133

    Psych2go: 8 things controlling patners do.
    Me: "I dont even have a partner"

    • @shantalabauss.5487
      @shantalabauss.5487 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      can also be a controlling friend, not just your partner

    • @Psych2go
      @Psych2go  3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Yes.. just signs to watch out for when you do Oo

    • @buenosabor281
      @buenosabor281 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      eres el ganador

  • @yummyveggies3309
    @yummyveggies3309 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    And there I was trying my best to give someone the most authentic “truthful” version of myself when they weren’t. Advice for all of you is to watch how your mood changes, how you start to hate the things you do, and how you direct all of your energy and time to a person. I never realized this until after the relationship ended, which I did because it was becoming extremely painful for me. I got anxiety just from texting the person and I still sense it a bit when I see them. I can’t express how slick people like this are. No one deserves this treatment, you’re all beautiful and you are smart and resilient, no matter the other person.

  • @vAqeii
    @vAqeii 3 ปีที่แล้ว +466

    Thing 1: They don’t let you play Minecraft

  • @Whyisbatman
    @Whyisbatman 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    I really really really wanted to see this and now I realise I am being controlling without knowing. Thank you for making this video and pointing out the obvious that I couldn't notice otherwise. I will 120% make sure to break the controlling patterns and be a better boyfriend

  • @nelmae6026
    @nelmae6026 3 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    What's the point of getting in to so many relationships when you can just happy and single ✨

    • @Psych2go
      @Psych2go  3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I see. Did you relate to this video? :O

    • @freshlypouredbingwater7913
      @freshlypouredbingwater7913 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Well, some people would be happier in a relationship than without one

    • @nia3920
      @nia3920 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      true. haha

    • @amerokeewiya1320
      @amerokeewiya1320 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Because some people desire relationships 🙄

  • @user-sm2hf1jx5n
    @user-sm2hf1jx5n ปีที่แล้ว +6

    What people don't understand is that this happens so slowly that you don't realize it until you are trapped. Before marriage, hubby would turn everything into a choice between him or my friends, as suddenly he had something he wanted to do with me at the same time as my other plans. Then, once you are married, they slowly separate you from family members, until you don't have anyone to talk to. He made me quit all of my jobs over the years. He threatened to go and tell my employer that I quit, and I was mortified that he would do it. If I didn't quit, then he wouldn't let me sleep. He would wake me up by screaming at me to get him a glass of water if I fell asleep from exhaustion at 10pm. I was working so that we would have health insurance. He would give me permission to work. But once I got the job, he would insist that I quit, or he would make me miserable. I was required to work a full day at the house as well as in the office. If I didn't get all of the housework finished, then I was to stay up until I did. (He did nothing at home.) If I didn't stay up, he would wake me up repeatedly. He would also wake me up at 2am with some other demand or he would accuse me of cheating at work. When I was 15 minutes late (as I had filled the car up with gas), he would say he was leaving me due to my cheating. My day was scheduled (by him) every minute, but he said it only takes 15 minutes to cheat, so if I was 15 minutes late (due to traffic, a wreck, filling the car up, buying groceries on the way home), then I must have been cheating. In the end, I was so sleep deprived that I had a wreck, was injured, and finally gave up the job. I've been threatened with divorce and that he would kill me (if I leave him) so many times, that I no longer care if he kills me or divorces me. When I almost left him, family members kept telling me not to. I have no job, and he insists that every bit of money in the bank account is his (even money that I received from an insurance claim and from work that I do from home). It was only after I quit caring if he killed me or not that he has become nicer. I no longer have a bed to sleep in, as he ordered me out of the bedroom a few years ago because I talked. I now sleep in the living room recliner. I can only sleep once he decides to go to bed. He didn't think I would move out of the bedroom, so now he is nicer as I no longer care what happens to me. Without my caring about his threats, he no longer has the same leverage over me. Threaten to kill me? Do it. Threaten to leave me? Do it. I don't care. When I needed to go to the ER last year, he told me to sleep it off. The next day he told me the same thing, even though I could barely breathe. The doctor told me I was close to dying. If it was up to him, I would have died. He made me justify why I wanted to go to the ER, even though I couldn't breathe enough to talk. That is what happens when you are stuck with a controlling partner.

  • @inbasicterms-popculturevid1704
    @inbasicterms-popculturevid1704 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    The scars from mental cruelty can be as deep and long-lasting as wounds from punches or slaps but are often not as
    obvious. In fact, even among women who have experienced violence from a partner, half or more report that the man’s emotional abuse is what is causing them the greatest harm.

  • @TacticalNuke321
    @TacticalNuke321 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Another sign is that your so sleep deprived because they make you get up when they want you to get up and you’re not allowed to get the hours of sleep that your body needs

    • @kdawg5831
      @kdawg5831 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      sooo true

  • @echfx9201
    @echfx9201 3 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    Can we have one about controlling parents?

    • @lamarasawyer850
      @lamarasawyer850 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I've seen several videos on that, actually. Just go to their page and you should see plenty.

    • @Naners022491
      @Naners022491 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Doesn't it kinda feel like this one applied easily to parents too?

    • @larawabsie
      @larawabsie 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      y e s

    • @christianalexander579
      @christianalexander579 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      My gf has a controlling mom it's sad her mom makes her do things that she's not comfortable with and she never lets her spend time with me we've been dating for 2 years I'm just going to buy an engagement ring and propose to her so her mom can stop being selfish because once we're married her mom can't do anything about it

  • @amilkshake3843
    @amilkshake3843 3 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    I don’t have a partner, but still; great video! Keep up the good work🥺💞🌟

    • @k.t3888
      @k.t3888 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Same 😂

    • @Psych2go
      @Psych2go  3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Thank you! Did you enjoy the animation?

    • @yoonshoo
      @yoonshoo 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      SkyleeKate
      How do u keep being sooo early?

    • @maki275
      @maki275 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Psych2Go the animation is very good (*´꒳`*)

    • @LPSAANDLPSLVids
      @LPSAANDLPSLVids 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      OMG I thought this said toxic parents so I was like... DANG. 😂😂😂

  • @ayishafarhana786
    @ayishafarhana786 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I'm helpless because all you said has been happening in my relationship and I'm just blinded by love that I take on all these just to keep the relationship going

  • @stephaniepower7860
    @stephaniepower7860 3 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    There is one thing I absolutely admire from this video, for once it's the women who is controlling instead of the man, this helps to share awareness that men can also be controlled by women.

    • @hgzmatt
      @hgzmatt 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thank you, Stephanie. I appreciate it! It sucks to be controlled, man or woman. It's just that admitting it as a man feels impossible.

    • @stephaniepower7860
      @stephaniepower7860 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@hgzmatt well who ever gets controlled should know they can speak up and they shouldn’t be afraid of anyone because they are beautiful, young human beings. What ever their gender

  • @oldangels4449
    @oldangels4449 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    This is exactly the behaviour of my husband that I am totally fed up with that's why since 2014 I don't even sleep in the same bed or room with him. Coparenting only. It's so toxic to live with a partner like this. My advice to others is to leave as soon as possible even when your kids are small. You will be happier and healthier.

  • @daynacuteiful1006
    @daynacuteiful1006 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    My ex used to constantly make me feel like I wasn't good enough or not doing enough and he used to constantly complain and told me I would look alot prettier with blonde hair but my natural hair is brown more importantly he used to criticize me for every little thing that I have done..so I walked away..but I feel so guilty about it still

  • @andreajustice8124
    @andreajustice8124 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Just got out of an abusive relationship and my ex did all of these things and then some! So happy to be free of him even though I miss him.

  • @gingerlemon865
    @gingerlemon865 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I was dating and went on my 2nd date with this guy and noticed little things like these and was like.... yeah, this is not gonna work out. I grew up in a house with a manipulative and controlling dad. I was no stranger to these signs bc I grew up watching how my dad treated my mom. I don't get along with my dad, but I should be thanking him because without him, I'd be vulnerable and wouldn't have seen these early signs. It made me strong and know who I am. I'd never stay with anyone who talks down or treats me as less than even in small and subtle ways. I learned to rely on myself, and I know who I am. It only took less than 14 hours for me to leave him. Funny enough, he'd tell me how narcissistic I was with red flags when we spent time together because I'd stand up for myself.

  • @QuestionEverythingButWHY
    @QuestionEverythingButWHY 3 ปีที่แล้ว +62

    “You can practice social distancing on social media too. Stay away from people who are infected with negativity, a lack of kindness, an unwillingness to seek truth etc.”
    --James Clear

  • @Rosiee._.21
    @Rosiee._.21 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    My dad is a controling partner towards my mom and it breaks me down when he acts like that. I feel so sad my mom has to endure this and I hope they will get a divorce soon. It will be the best for both of them.

  • @mayadraws7934
    @mayadraws7934 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I’m so glad you are uploading so often!! (My schools mental health teachers is not the best at it and I don’t connect with her allot) I can connect with this Chanel so much!!

  • @tiffanyowens7261
    @tiffanyowens7261 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I'm so grateful I was able to see this video. It clearly shows what kind of relationship I was in recently, and I can finally breathe for once and know that I've made the right decision not to be with someone like that anymore. I love these videos.
    they help so much

  • @MinddHub
    @MinddHub 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Also, manipulation is a really big issue. I dodged a bullet when I met a guy who I actually really liked, but when we got to talking a bit more, he'd say things like "people who are truly depressed or suicidal don't tell anyone" (this is a terrible mindset to have - everyone should be able to speak up about their mental health without being judged!!), and "you'll change your mind soon" as a reply to me saying I'm asexual. This is why it's so important to get to know people first before diving into a relationship.

  • @sunset87
    @sunset87 3 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    I used to have a friend that have most of this characteristics, i am grateful that i said: "ENOUGH".
    If she would still be my "friend, I don't know how will i be right now

    • @sabinaschipor7608
      @sabinaschipor7608 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Fighting ARMY💜

    • @sunset87
      @sunset87 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@sabinaschipor7608 thanks uwu

  • @paulstitt455
    @paulstitt455 3 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    My daughter has a relationship just like the one described. If I mention it she becomes defensive. She is (18) a senior in high school and moved in with this young man (22 years old). She rarely comes to visit Her mother and I, except when the two of them are arguing. I sent this video to her hoping it will help her to see another point of view, but I fear it might put more distance between us. I have made it clear that I am not a fan of this young man. He is not the criminal type and although I am not a psychiatrist he has narcissistic characteristics. I love my little girl and want her to find someone who will treat her well.

    • @delilahgracie4218
      @delilahgracie4218 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I’ve found with hard headed people that they need to learn from their mistakes. And make sure she knows she can always come to you. Just let her do her and she’ll figure out on her own when she’s had enough. I know it’s hard to watch bc I used to watch my friend deal with physical abuse all the time. I just prayed she wouldn’t end in the ground. But eventually she had enough and 2 years later she’s found someone who actually cares about her. Just let your daughter know you’ll always be there for her no matter what and you always love her. That’s the best advice I can give you.

    • @shannap.lawnerd8107
      @shannap.lawnerd8107 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Agreed with previous reply… Always make sure you are CLEAR that she can ALWAYS COME TO YOU… 2am in a blizzard, 1pm during a family dinner, 24/7/365. So many people stuck in toxic situations _want_ help, but they feel like they’re a bother or asking too much- even if that’s not remotely true. Don’t just assume she knows that- SAY IT. OUT LOUD. TO HER. If she DOES come to you at some point, do not- repeat, DO NOT- use that moment for any “I knew this would happen”/“I told you so” talk or criticize the boyfriend/partner. She is already feeling low, used, stupid, ashamed… & bf bashing will make her defensive & could backfire QUICKLY, possibly driving her right back to him. This is a guy she cares about, & it will be SO HARD for her to accept that she needs to get out of the situation- she may have tried to before, maybe not. If she gets a sense of an “Us vs. Him” attitude, she’ll be uncomfortable.

    • @emmajane646
      @emmajane646 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Just make sure you are there for her, are consistent, reliable and respect her free will. Let her feel comfortable with you and remind her of her own free will. Don't try to control her. Love her unconditionally. If you do all these things you will already be giving her 1000% more than she is getting from the boyfriend.

  • @piedondon8726
    @piedondon8726 3 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    You know, the best things about this channel is:
    The comments
    The animation
    The drawings
    And
    Psych2go is caring.

  • @toiletfarm
    @toiletfarm 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    I was with someone for 6 years. The first two years were fine, or so I thought. About half of these were subtle in the first two years, then after getting out of the relationship, all eight of these were obvious after being away for some time. It's been a tough healing process.

  • @enmahiroshima3863
    @enmahiroshima3863 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I personally think that I am controlling in our relationship and I am doing my best to improve for my partner. It's so hard to control my temper and I lash out to my partner even if I am not angry with them. I want to change this behavior but I do not know where to start.

  • @eliosbestboy7406
    @eliosbestboy7406 3 ปีที่แล้ว +93

    So I’ve realized today I am very toxic :>

    • @tayojhonstone1498
      @tayojhonstone1498 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      H-How, what the? (3 weeks ago)

    • @yukisayura799
      @yukisayura799 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Same ;-;

    • @53hank
      @53hank 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      LMAOO

    • @willowthewisp2725
      @willowthewisp2725 3 ปีที่แล้ว +38

      It's great that you recognize that. Most people don't. Realizing it is the first step to better yourself. :)

    • @MP-yc2ou
      @MP-yc2ou 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@yukisayura799 call upon the name of Jesus Christ to deliver your of your demons amd give your the Holy Spirit and you will not be toxic anymore!! i am a witness and example of this! i used to be like this till He transformed my life over night and saved my soul!

  • @FowlsNest
    @FowlsNest 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I read the title as "8 Things Controlling Parents Do," and now I really want a video about that-

  • @PaperMario64
    @PaperMario64 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    The illustrations are so well done. I especially love the moon cycle illustration.

  • @gachadanger5679
    @gachadanger5679 3 ปีที่แล้ว +91

    Is it normal to feel guilty after breaking up with someone?
    I feel like I’ve really hurt him but we barely talked and I need to find myself
    Update:i’m gay

    • @michinata5867
      @michinata5867 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Yeah, kinda. I felt guilty having to leave in an "almost relationship" (meaning we both liked each other, but it never got further than that).
      I was heartbroken for months and thought it was me who hurted him, but he should've taken responsibilty for his actions as well. It took me almost a year to completely get over him. I just had needed some time for myself to just not think about him but to focus on myself. It really helped.
      To this day we're still friends, just not as close and we don't talk as often anymore.
      So I understand how you feel wholeheartedly.

    • @michinata5867
      @michinata5867 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      My point:
      You don't have to be guilty about breaking up, but it's completely normal to feel that way if it was not a good relationship. Give it some time and I'm sure you'll feel better. c:

    • @TurtlePlayzRl
      @TurtlePlayzRl 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I can relate to all these signs, my girlfriend was very controlling yet I was too blind and stubborn to see it, we grew very distant.. I ended up not being able to take anymore of it so I broke up with her, I felt so guilty because she was subtly guilt tripping me. Ending our relationship was for the best for both of us, if you think it was the right thing to do then you’ll see the bright side soon.

    • @makenziestacey4731
      @makenziestacey4731 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Yes it is... I've only broken up with one person, but I felt and still kinda feel guilty.. I believe that you'll be able to move on, I know I will, it's just gonna take a bit longer than I'd like..

    • @christianalexander579
      @christianalexander579 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Me and my girlfriend feel the same way about each other we love each other very much the problem is her mom though because her mom won't let her daughter spend any time with me at all she's 22 years old let her live her life her mom doesn't have the right to tell her that she isn't allowed to see me she's not a kid anymore

  • @DieselDucy
    @DieselDucy 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    This video gives me chills.

  • @dylanbenson9463
    @dylanbenson9463 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I had so many theories in mind about my ex. This hits home. Thanks for sharing.

  • @sharmainescott7271
    @sharmainescott7271 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Please be aware that a partner who tries to isolate you from friends and family is grooming you for greater emotional and physical abuse. If they can control that aspect of your life, separating you from the support of family and friends, you have no one to turn when he starts beating the hell out of you. That is his plan.

    • @amerokeewiya1320
      @amerokeewiya1320 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I’m pretty sure Jodi Arias boyfriend did that to her before she…………….

    • @fredbarnesjr.1044
      @fredbarnesjr.1044 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@amerokeewiya1320no he didn’t stop your bullshit she stalked him

  • @allykat760
    @allykat760 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    The animation is so heckin good ✨❤️

  • @nissa2302
    @nissa2302 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    This may just be me but when I was watching this I was thinking of how my mom acts towards me. I’m not sure if this video can contribute to family problems but my mom does all of these.

    • @lamarasawyer850
      @lamarasawyer850 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Don't worry; they do. And this video does apply to parent-child relationships, as well. Stereotypes don't apply when it comes to abusive relations. Abuse is abuse, no matter who it is.

    • @nissa2302
      @nissa2302 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      LaMara Sawyer Alright thank you for letting me know!

  • @sahra7769
    @sahra7769 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    This video reminds me of ex best friend, who was narcissist. She basically did all things to me and made my self esteem really low and made me hate myself. I happy to report that I broke off the toxic relationship two years ago. 🎉❤️
    I'm still struggling from the past but now have real friends help me to go through things.

  • @puppetmartha5228
    @puppetmartha5228 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I'd love to see tips to avoid being manipulative or controlling.. I think being one has something to do with a person's experiences too..it could be trauma or idk.. But that would be helpful.

  • @navadarutudor4920
    @navadarutudor4920 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Your voice is so reassuring. I would talk to you a whole day abt every concern i have

  • @ek2211
    @ek2211 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I love your style so much! And the relaxing voices

  • @savinggrace5154
    @savinggrace5154 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I love how soothing the music and narrators voice are! Great videos ❤

  • @kirracheeseman5185
    @kirracheeseman5185 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    i didn't know my dad was gonna have a featured role in this

  • @louiswalker8638
    @louiswalker8638 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Yes I am a man and I go through every step all the time and just left because of this.....this is a true video 100%...thanks for the video

  • @ambersgoofballcorner
    @ambersgoofballcorner 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The animation style is ✨ immaculate ✨

  • @millie_gilroy3826
    @millie_gilroy3826 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    My girlfriend came up to me and said I might be controlling or abusive. At the time I thought it was brave and I heard her out. I felt riddled with guilt and I tried to rack my brain for signs of these controlling actions. I was heartbroken because I’d never want to hurt her on purpose but I did start a lot of arguments and I viewed that as me being controlling. I spoke to a group of friends about it and asked them to be brutal, if I was abusive or controlling I needed to know. They were all stunned. After reading through some text arguments they said that I do have some anger issues that I need to work on but it was in fact my girlfriend who was controlling. She picked her best friend over me every time. Which is usually ok but this friend hated me and my gf would blame me for that, asking me to change for that person so she could have us both. She was so happy after our Easter break because we hung out as a big group each day and she felt really happy that she got to experience that but weeks down the line she blamed me for her friends not asking her to hang out because we spent too much time together and hated that I’d become her closest friend because she valued having lots of friends over me. Her best friend started making rude comments towards me and even downright lying or simply ignoring me. One example was where me, my girlfriend her bff and their bff were opening up about SA trauma. I said to this bff that it was ok to feel those feelings and you should never blame yourself for these scenarios. The bff turned round and continued to watch a video on full volume while I was mid sentence. That same week she told my gf that she thought I was toxic cause I bought her a switch lite for her birthday and she assumed I would use that as a tactic to get things out of her. I opened up to my girlfriend about how she was making me feel and she viewed it as me trying to take her away from her best friend but in truth it was the other way around. My girlfriend blamed me a lot for people being mean towards me, constantly playing devils advocate. (In reference to the previous scenario) “maybe you took too long to get to the point” (after other scenarios) “don’t you think you should change so that you’re less of a target? (She says this after mentioning the fact she wants to be friends with everyone and im hard to like). it’s been a week or so since we broke up and she had a sleepover at her bffs house after the day after we broke up while I was left heartbroken at home. I knew I had to break up with her and I’m proud of myself, we dated for 3 years and never once did she stand up for me or put me first when it came to her bff. Now please don’t read this and think that all scenarios are ok to be someone’s top priority, it’s perfectly healthy for your partner to put their friend first sometimes but if they’re putting them first over you every single time and even blaming you for things they’ve done and praising them for things you’ve done then you know it’s unhealthy. Don’t be afraid to lose that person because once you take that step back and realise how they made you feel then maybe you’ll feel much better too.

  • @nusratjamia7953
    @nusratjamia7953 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Great. Thanks for your time and consideration to share.

  • @playo9197
    @playo9197 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you for this video. Nice voice and music too.

  • @deadbeneathmakeoutcreek
    @deadbeneathmakeoutcreek 3 ปีที่แล้ว +213

    Everyone: * watches the video *
    Me: How the hec can they post a 10 minute animation videos, every 3 hours

    • @michinata5867
      @michinata5867 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      unlisted videos.

    • @allmusicplays
      @allmusicplays 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      They prepare beforehand?

    • @luvuven
      @luvuven 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@allmusicplays they hella do

    • @spxrklingoxt
      @spxrklingoxt 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Its different artists too :)

  • @coolbinny5532-4
    @coolbinny5532-4 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you for helping people out :>

  • @warcrimesz
    @warcrimesz 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Don’t have a partner but I need this for the future

  • @jeffvarley9792
    @jeffvarley9792 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Hey this was a good one. I liked it. Thankyou for bringing this video to us.

  • @Irisbee.x
    @Irisbee.x 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    thank you sooo much for all your vid they rlly help me!❤

  • @melodyslocum2309
    @melodyslocum2309 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    All of the behaviors! Wow I'm pulling away from him. I visualize his claws after me . The stronger I get and am hep to his sh.. the worse he's becoming! Then I tell him that I'm a free spirit and to shut up. " How do you get what you want from me. I've made it too easy for him for two long. Because he's at the " man cracks because she won't let him control her stage" he might have a stroke. . That's a chance I'm willing to take. Because of your great videos I'm not the same. Feels soooo good. Never again. Thank you!

  • @justabeginner8047
    @justabeginner8047 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I was having a doubt on myself. Now, I'm sure about it.
    I have to change myself

  • @galaxy_mooncat779
    @galaxy_mooncat779 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    This is why I want to be single all my life

  • @hannah-zx8rn
    @hannah-zx8rn ปีที่แล้ว +1

    i watched this to see if i had any controlling traits and this video helped me realise that i do have a few controlling habits. i'm glad i decided to watch it because now i can improve myself :)

  • @arielmaule
    @arielmaule 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Awesome video.

  • @syncwithlotus
    @syncwithlotus 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    i notice as the video progressed it turned into a reflective period. seems as though i shouldn’t put all the weight on my partner, but myself too. thanks for this

  • @ArronAlex8nder
    @ArronAlex8nder ปีที่แล้ว

    Wow this is bang on

  • @reneefasano403
    @reneefasano403 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I wish I had known a long time ago that isolation is a gradual thing, not as noticable as it would be all at once.

  • @amandaburger3312
    @amandaburger3312 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Love these vids.

  • @subrahmoni
    @subrahmoni 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Nice one...all symptoms true as I seen

  • @nancyann1014
    @nancyann1014 ปีที่แล้ว

    Yes, I recognize these signs. I need to make changes.

  • @delta1742
    @delta1742 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    This one is gonna hit hard

  • @samslaton7777
    @samslaton7777 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This video helped me out a lot because my partner brought up that I was being controlling earlier today and this helped me realize some of the faults I’ve been making and I’m gonna use this video to help me be a better partner to them so thank you for this video

  • @laluma6890
    @laluma6890 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    My relationship is loving, caring and healthy, I'm very happy to have him in my life ♥
    But I had a Fakefriend, who acted this way... that's narcissm, better you leave as soon as possible, when you see these red flaggs on a person.

  • @Lollirama
    @Lollirama 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    Why it say 3 weeks ago if this uploaded a minute ago- tf
    I mean the comments say 3 weeks

    • @cloudd280
      @cloudd280 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Same it happened to me

    • @niaaaaaa69
      @niaaaaaa69 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yeah..wtf

    • @Dhieowmsbrieka
      @Dhieowmsbrieka 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Patreon early access

    • @Lollirama
      @Lollirama 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Biggest frog to exist ohhh ok

  • @taytumshae
    @taytumshae 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    I'm def not in a relationship but I clicked because of the thumbnail and wasn't disappointed by the amazing animation

  • @lyzavalentine2
    @lyzavalentine2 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    There were cycles in my most recent relationship.. I ended up being wrong and doing things I usually would never do trying to find reasons to make them leave... It was selfish. I just wanted to be happy. I cried so much I made myself dehydrated too often.. I just couldn't handle it anymore and now I just feel worse because I made terrible decisions to get to that point where his family and himself hate me. But it was the last resort I could imagine because I would rather him hate me than be by my side.

  • @heathermae1319
    @heathermae1319 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Watching this was intense

  • @idrisitogs
    @idrisitogs ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Just realised... my ex can tick all of these boxes. Despite the messed up stuff she did, I forgot about it, when she "love bombed" me. But each time for a very short period. And she only told me how much she loved me when I was away, but very rarely showed any love when I was with her.

  • @niacinamid3
    @niacinamid3 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I've never been more proud of getting away from a toxic person , he would say that his love is conditional and wouldn't consider my opinions, he also admitted to me that he beat up a girl and told me he doesn't feel regret or guilt. Just because she said something he didn't like.. He is a very dangerous person to be around and I'm glad I realized this before something much worse happened

  • @Xxpumpkinqueen13
    @Xxpumpkinqueen13 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Imma straighten my hair tomorrow

  • @calliopivogiatzis2235
    @calliopivogiatzis2235 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I sent a pic to 2 friends of my win at the casino. One responded with joy and the other was unresponsive. That friend has a controlling ex and she's like an empty soul because this man walks on her like a welcome mat!😕

  • @Nintendo641200
    @Nintendo641200 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Honestly, I noticed these signs in a friend's relationship and his other friends noticed it too. I hope people know this doesn't just happen to women, it's men too.
    This also happens in on and off relationships (Psych2go do a video on that), since I have seen these things before or similar. Emotional Vampires also use these tactics as well.

  • @EyesToSee-yk3cj
    @EyesToSee-yk3cj 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    It’s scary how this describes me. I need to stop taking for granted what I have frfr. Never would I have ever thought I’d become toxic...

  • @blacktigers98
    @blacktigers98 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I’m scared what I’m about to potentially find out about myself 😅

  • @Ice-io6jn
    @Ice-io6jn 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Can you please make a video about Body Dysmorphic Disorder. 🥺Thank you in advance..
    PS. thank you for helping with everyone's mental health. Finding this channel is a blessing🥰

  • @marcusfinlayson7215
    @marcusfinlayson7215 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I see all of these signs. My wife has very bad OCD and depression and she controls me out of anxiety. She knows this and is getting counseling but the behavior continues and I don’t know if it will ever stop. Her mother doesn’t have ocd but exhibits much of the same kind of behavior. I am contemplating divorce but feel guilty for leaving her to be alone for the rest of her life. I could leave if I knew someone would take care of her.

  • @arijitghosh9551
    @arijitghosh9551 ปีที่แล้ว

    Absolutely true

  • @yamilleguerra3132
    @yamilleguerra3132 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thanks ❤