I feel so called out in this video that i want to cry like a child in my room, and the fact that i dont remember how to cry makes things even worse. I need help.
The comments above, you are wrong. Professional help is always an option and there are great advice on TH-cam as well. Channels like Emma from therapy in a nutshell, personal development school and dr. Ramani are really fantastic resources. Dear op I hope you find peace with yourself, like I am trying to
It is weird to feel so called out but also good that I'm not just crazy, and other people experience the same thing. Helps me understand myself so much thank you ❤️
God I’m so sick of this cycle. I’m miserable in a relationship but lonely and long for love when single. It’s messed up how much damage follows you since childhood. I feel like I’m never understood and always wronged in relationships
@@whitewolf9547 Don't let it become a part of your identity, work on it, it is your responsibility to work on it. As someone who has dated a partner with fear of abandonment, the issue was always shoved in my face and I was supposed to always understand, this led to relationship sabotage and a lot of hurt. I'd never date someone with abandonment issues until they take responsibility to fix it.
@@DaveSustain Thanks brotha. You are absolutely correct that it is my responsibility to work on it. I have been doing the work this time around and I already feel so much better.
This is what helped me: Psalms 147, 3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds I will never leave you nor forsake you. Hebrews 13,5 I will not fail you or abandon you Joshua 1,5 The words of the Lord are alive and heal the hearts and minds 💖💕💞
I crumbled 2 years ago and got overwhelmed with abandonment which is really affecting my family. I am constantly seeking help and trying but it can be so hard. It's a tough journey and my marriage is really being affected. I have trauma therapy lined up. This video describes exactly how I am right now. Abandonment has always been there it just took a few big things for me to crumble in 2021 and start this painful journey of trying to heal. It feels lonely and scary and at times I feel powerless. Anyone out there suffering you are not alone keep fighting. Research trauma to get an understanding, get appropriate support and speak to those who can support and give understanding. Having loved ones not able to understand makes it's even harder. I want it to end but understand healing takes time and self acceptance, self love takes time and practice.
Crappy childhood fairy. She has lots of ways to help you. Get to a position of understanding yourself and your loved ones. Find yourself again from within. When you get to a level of understanding your life will change exponentially 😊❤
My fear of abandonment made me push away the one man I’ve ever loved. I sought after “back burner” options for reassurance when he left ( which I caused to happen) I’m not sure how to heal from this loss. I’m empty inside and it’s all my fault for breaking his trust and try to control every aspect of his life, thinking that if he gave up these things that it meant he really loved me and wouldn’t leave. I suffocated the man I love to the point of no return. My heart aches beyond anything I can heal from.
You can heal for sure It sounds like you have an "anxious" attachment style Heidi Priebe and Thais Gison have a lot of material that could benefit you. Other people can only love you properly when you do so first. When you start to do the work of healing things will get better soon Look for happiness and fulfillment within the life you have got right now Practice gratitude Spoil yourself Selfcare is vital Learn to enjoy yourself Do mirror work Happiness is in small things, moments Connect to yourself Accept yourself We are all just humans Nobody is perfect Forgive yourself and others All great things are achieved one step at a time You are free to love, first yourself, then others Not tomorrow, now Focus on the best possible outcome Meditation is like daydreaming It isa choice (to learn) to BE happy Problems are easier solved by focussing on solution than on the problem itself Look forward with faith Keep moving Your life is yours Open your heart ❤ Ps hope this helps Feel free to react
You were with the wrong person. It took me years and dozens of relationships to finally understand that its not me who is anxious, its me choosing partners who will make me anxious. Ive dated a lot after my so called “the one”. Nobody else made this anxious about them leaving. He was insecure himself so intuitively i could never trust him, therefore becoming anxious. Take your time to feel the emotions, but please remember that you are not anxious, you just keep choosing people who make you anxious with their inconsistent behavior.
@@yuliyay3612I think you hit the nail on the head because I was thinking the same thing. Now that you said this, I was with men who were insecure but made me feel like I was but their behaviors were irrational and unpredictable it made me anxious.
I’ve spent half my life diagnosing myself with all kinds of random things due to all these factors; it’s so weird to hear you describe these behaviors and me having flashbacks to very specific scenarios matching every one. I thought I was narcissistic; borderline personality disorder; etc. But this video hit every check mark and this is my life’s story; being alone as a teenager and having to navigate the world on my own. Was rough but made me strong; just gotta control these negative reactions.
My ex pushed me away. She truly gave me no choice. She burned us to the ground and then came to my door and asked "Can you just tell me what I did?" My jaw dropped.
@sds6303 As a child, I was ignorant to this help and my caregivers may not have understood what i needed. However, TH-cam has taught me things about myself as an adult, I can NOW change, but im still dealing! I can't change it overnight, but I'm still apologetic to those I hurt along the way. If you don't get that, maybe you should seek help also!
This video content is so close to how I experience reality and the reasons why, I can't hardly believe exists. This comments is from someone who has searched and found tons of modalities, venues, books , therapists a seemingly natural born digger, to the exhaustion level. I dig deep in almost all aspects of my life, all this time give you a perspective " intense mind Imi" of how shocked I feel at this moment that parts of me were able to really listen to this comparatively simple video, who seemed to have touched an essential part in me. It might perhaps be a turning point in my way of showing up in this world. I know, I will listen to it again, again, because something in me loosened up. You mentioned preverbal experiences, something some of the most so called experts in the consequences of childhood in us as adults, don't even touch on. There's a lot of things, parts, emotions sensations etc in me that I don't have a name for. But when you said the word pre verbal something lit up. I don't know. I'm a riddle to myself. But there is some truth in this content that gave me a sense of ....there is hope for a calmer , less rigid, less protected alone life. I can keep writing for days. But I will close with a heart felt thank you.
Thank you so so much for your deeply personal and heartfelt comment! I am sorry it took me so long to reply but I have received it with my whole heart. 💙 . Sending you the warmest wishes
the first part looked like a personal attack. Jesus, I whish so bad to get rid of it, but its so automatic, even knowing that it is pure fantasy the gut feelings comes hard. Maybe people like us should really get by themselves
Joshua 1,5 I will not fail you or abandon you, says the Lord. Deuteronomy 31,8 [...] He will never leave you or forsake you [...] These words were the only words that could help me. Bc the words of the Lord never change. They are alive and heal your heart and mind 💖
I was a secure person but certain events and guilt and toxic shame and self sabotage threw me into this stage. Its been hard but i hope ill recover soon. I changed for the Person and forgot who i was and i took in their sufferings. Its hard being an empath and having anxiety issues.
I have recently expanded on the article and re-recorded it with a human voice! If you are interested, here it is: :) th-cam.com/video/2xNA5_vxMVc/w-d-xo.htmlfeature=shared
Navigating the fear of abandonment and developing a healthier approach to independence is a gradual process. Self-awareness is the first step. You may also start by spending short periods alone, gradually increasing the duration. Use this time for self-reflection, pursuing hobbies, or simply enjoying your own company... there are a lot more that can be said but this is a journey, and it's okay to take it one step at a time.
Yeah I recently hurt somebody because I felt like I wasn't important and ignored and I lashed out and said things I would have never normally said and I most likely lost this person in my life that I deep feelings for and we work getting into our relationship or pretty close to that point. And then after I felt ignored I lashed out and finally got a message back and she's like I got. I've been sick. That's after I lost out. I don't know what's wrong with your head and then I was like I'm sorry you sound really bad and she's like I was like do you need medicine or anything that she said no I'm good. Thank you! And haven't heard from her in a week. Fortunately I kept messaging every so often. Just a message one or two every other day or whatever just to see if she's doing okay. No response and then unfortunately yesterday was the day I just kept messaging saying why do you need to ignore me if you don't want to talk and just tell me. I didn't even realize I had these issues until I let somebody get close to me and I fear I push somebody that I really cared about away and I don't want to do that to her. I want to fix that but if I can't I get it. But I don't want to do this to somebody else. I've been single for 16 years after my marriage ended. I guess I just never let somebody in this deep to the point that I feel like my marriage ended again and I don't know what to do. I don't know why I get so upset because I get ignored and logically person could just be busy or in her case really sick. She really was. I heard her voice but I just can't think and I get this feeling
I've been feeling very much ignored, not understood by someone for a long time. Recently I lashed out. So don't beat yourself up. What if maybe it's true that no matter what issues we have, and we all have them, with a certain person it's gonna work. Somehow. I'm not saying we shouldn't work on ourselves, we have to, absolutely. But it's not just you. Some people trigger us more. In my last relationship I wasn't feeling ignored. But it ended because of other issues. So I think we should work on ourselves but know that it will work out if it really is the right person for us. No matter what issues we have.
If computer generated speech is a more efficient way to post content i understand but i want to let you know that i really love your voice :) something about it is very connectable. I was so ecstatic when i first found your channel; in conjunction with everything else, something about the shape of your sentences, your tone, your diction, your emphasis on certain words, it felt incredibly connectable and relatable to me
Hello Claude Thank you so much for your kind words and comment!!! They mean so much to me. I think after all this time I am still a little self conscious :) but I will explore using my own voice more!! I hope this isn’t too robotic- switching from writing to videos is all new to me so I am still experimenting. Your feedback is truly so valuable to me !
@@ImiatEggshellTherapyCoaching Hello, i agree! I am so happy I have found your channel and your website, I have felt myself breathing a sigh of relief lately, I feel understood and seen and things are starting to make sense. Your voice is lovely to listen too, I recommend using it for these videos as well
Trying to break this cycle. My divorce really triggered these child wounds and I met someone who was so sweet and honest and vulnerable and I tried so hard to let my walls down but as soon as I fell for him I wanted to pull back, and its almost like I feel like I’m falling apart and I am so worried that if he saw that, my flaws he will leave so I guard myself instead. It’s like feeling like if this person decided he did not want me it would be so painful.. and that’s what happened. He said he felt my walls went up and he could not connect with me. He had doubts and was not sure if the wanted to continue, he is going through a divorce finalizing and is scared of getting hurt too and has trauma too, but he said he is open to continuing in 1-2 months when divorce is over and he can start fresh. He has checked in with me as promised. I need to really work on this though with my therapist if this relationship is going to have a real chance if he is still open in 1 month or any healthy relationships in my future.
So one person loves being alone. Handles being alone, no problem. Another person terrified of being alone. So what does that mean? That means it's in the person. It's not in the loneliness and likewise about money. There are some billionaires and millionaires who are more afraid of going broke than there are people who are like hippies and maybe only have a hundred bucks in their pocket or a thousand dollars in their savings account and you know they're cheerful. They're happy. They don't really care about money very much. Money is not a big deal to them the way they were raised. They're kind of just carefree. They kind of go with the flow. They're more spontaneous. They're not worried about how to pay the bills and all that stuff. So you see the hippie has less fear in this case than the billionaire. How can that be? Because the mind is constructing it. All fear is imaginary.
Is there anyway this video can be translated in Spanish? This is exactly why my last relationship ended due to my part and would like to send this to my ex why things ended the way they did.
What i find hard to understand in terms of learning to hold paradoxes in our mind is how much is too much in terms of the ways a person fails us? Where is the line? That the person who is meant to love us, take care of us and be safe with us is the same person who can abuse and betray our trust in life changing ways- albeit family members, partners, friends etc.
Yeah, attractive women with abandonment issues always have someone pursuing them, so it's usually the other people who wind up at the sharp end of the stick while the attractive woman rinses and repeats until she's old and her looks fade.
I have recently expanded on the article and re-recorded it with a human voice! If you are interested, here it is: :) th-cam.com/video/2xNA5_vxMVc/w-d-xo.htmlfeature=shared
@@ImiatEggshellTherapyCoaching just listened to it and it's much better! I'm glad you reached out to let me know too as the information was just... excellent. You have a very promising future, please keep it up.
🔴🟠🟡🟢🔵🟣⚫⚪🟤NOW REVISED WITH HUMAN VOICE 🔴🟠🟡🟢🔵🟣⚫⚪
Please go to:
th-cam.com/video/2xNA5_vxMVc/w-d-xo.htmlfeature=shared
I feel so called out in this video that i want to cry like a child in my room, and the fact that i dont remember how to cry makes things even worse. I need help.
The comments above, you are wrong. Professional help is always an option and there are great advice on TH-cam as well.
Channels like Emma from therapy in a nutshell, personal development school and dr. Ramani are really fantastic resources. Dear op I hope you find peace with yourself, like I am trying to
You’re going to be okay. Reach out for help. Therapy, every week, get a new perspective ❤️
Same .. in my life I always choose bad choices because of this . Now i feel so empty , regret, sadness..
@@JenifaHaque21❤
It is weird to feel so called out but also good that I'm not just crazy, and other people experience the same thing. Helps me understand myself so much thank you ❤️
God I’m so sick of this cycle. I’m miserable in a relationship but lonely and long for love when single. It’s messed up how much damage follows you since childhood. I feel like I’m never understood and always wronged in relationships
It kills me even if a partner says another man is handsome. I don’t know why these things hurt me so badly
@Love-Thyself. teach my your ways wise master 🤣 how do you connect to your inner self? I find myself to be very real and I know myself well
@@whitewolf9547 go get professional help.
@@whitewolf9547 Don't let it become a part of your identity, work on it, it is your responsibility to work on it. As someone who has dated a partner with fear of abandonment, the issue was always shoved in my face and I was supposed to always understand, this led to relationship sabotage and a lot of hurt. I'd never date someone with abandonment issues until they take responsibility to fix it.
@@DaveSustain Thanks brotha. You are absolutely correct that it is my responsibility to work on it. I have been doing the work this time around and I already feel so much better.
This is what helped me:
Psalms 147, 3
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds
I will never leave you nor forsake you. Hebrews 13,5
I will not fail you or abandon you
Joshua 1,5
The words of the Lord are alive and heal the hearts and minds 💖💕💞
I am glad you found strength in your faith! 🌙😊
Thank you 🙏🏾
I hope we can help back, and return back.
I crumbled 2 years ago and got overwhelmed with abandonment which is really affecting my family. I am constantly seeking help and trying but it can be so hard. It's a tough journey and my marriage is really being affected. I have trauma therapy lined up. This video describes exactly how I am right now. Abandonment has always been there it just took a few big things for me to crumble in 2021 and start this painful journey of trying to heal. It feels lonely and scary and at times I feel powerless. Anyone out there suffering you are not alone keep fighting. Research trauma to get an understanding, get appropriate support and speak to those who can support and give understanding. Having loved ones not able to understand makes it's even harder. I want it to end but understand healing takes time and self acceptance, self love takes time and practice.
Sending love. Doing the same thing. We got this
Sending lots of love and support 🧡
@@sophiahendler8689thank you, it's not easy!
Crappy childhood fairy. She has lots of ways to help you. Get to a position of understanding yourself and your loved ones.
Find yourself again from within.
When you get to a level of understanding your life will change exponentially 😊❤
If you treat people with kindness, love & respect, then they most likely won’t leave. Treat people in a way that makes them want to stay.
I absolutely hate having this. It is destroying my mental health.
🫂
My fear of abandonment made me push away the one man I’ve ever loved. I sought after “back burner” options for reassurance when he left ( which I caused to happen) I’m not sure how to heal from this loss. I’m empty inside and it’s all my fault for breaking his trust and try to control every aspect of his life, thinking that if he gave up these things that it meant he really loved me and wouldn’t leave. I suffocated the man I love to the point of no return. My heart aches beyond anything I can heal from.
You can heal for sure
It sounds like you have an "anxious" attachment style
Heidi Priebe and Thais Gison have a lot of material that could benefit you.
Other people can only love you properly when you do so first.
When you start to do the work of healing things will get better soon
Look for happiness and fulfillment within the life you have got right now
Practice gratitude
Spoil yourself
Selfcare is vital
Learn to enjoy yourself
Do mirror work
Happiness is in small things, moments
Connect to yourself
Accept yourself
We are all just humans
Nobody is perfect
Forgive yourself and others
All great things are achieved one step at a time
You are free to love, first yourself, then others
Not tomorrow, now
Focus on the best possible outcome
Meditation is like daydreaming
It isa choice (to learn) to BE happy
Problems are easier solved by focussing on solution than on the problem itself
Look forward with faith
Keep moving
Your life is yours
Open your heart
❤
Ps hope this helps
Feel free to react
@@Liza-Loves-You Embracing all parts of yourself…..not just trying to be positive all the time.
You were with the wrong person. It took me years and dozens of relationships to finally understand that its not me who is anxious, its me choosing partners who will make me anxious. Ive dated a lot after my so called “the one”. Nobody else made this anxious about them leaving. He was insecure himself so intuitively i could never trust him, therefore becoming anxious. Take your time to feel the emotions, but please remember that you are not anxious, you just keep choosing people who make you anxious with their inconsistent behavior.
@@yuliyay3612I think you hit the nail on the head because I was thinking the same thing. Now that you said this, I was with men who were insecure but made me feel like I was but their behaviors were irrational and unpredictable it made me anxious.
I’ve spent half my life diagnosing myself with all kinds of random things due to all these factors; it’s so weird to hear you describe these behaviors and me having flashbacks to very specific scenarios matching every one.
I thought I was narcissistic; borderline personality disorder; etc.
But this video hit every check mark and this is my life’s story; being alone as a teenager and having to navigate the world on my own. Was rough but made me strong; just gotta control these negative reactions.
word for word, i am in shock at how accurate this is
This video called me out as well. I’m crying thinking of what I’ve missed all my life. I fit everything she said 😢
Same for me.
Never too late ❤
This feels like balm to my soul after loving someone who struggles with abandonment.
I am glad to hear that. I hope you gain some insights from the expanded version too (link in the descriptions)
This describes me fully but I am ready to break the cycle.
the best video on the subject by far
Thank you so much! I'm thrilled and appreciate your comment.
oh my god this is me. i feel all of this with my girlfriend and i hate it. i love her but i fear she doesn’t no matter how often she says she does
I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through this...It can be incredibly challenging :(
I constant need validation it's horrible I want it to stop. I will I know it will
My ex pushed me away. She truly gave me no choice. She burned us to the ground and then came to my door and asked "Can you just tell me what I did?"
My jaw dropped.
Im sorry, i knew something was wrong. I wanted to get help, but that wasnt a option. Hope you can meet someone securely attached. 🤧😭
@@fee8072 Of course it’s an option. It was your choice to not get the help.
@sds6303 As a child, I was ignorant to this help and my caregivers may not have understood what i needed. However, TH-cam has taught me things about myself as an adult, I can NOW change, but im still dealing! I can't change it overnight, but I'm still apologetic to those I hurt along the way. If you don't get that, maybe you should seek help also!
Wow this describes me as a child into adulthood 😢
This video content is so close to how I experience reality and the reasons why, I can't hardly believe exists. This comments is from someone who has searched and found tons of modalities, venues, books , therapists a seemingly natural born digger, to the exhaustion level. I dig deep in almost all aspects of my life, all this time give you a perspective " intense mind Imi" of how shocked I feel at this moment that parts of me were able to really listen to this comparatively simple video, who seemed to have touched an essential part in me. It might perhaps be a turning point in my way of showing up in this world. I know, I will listen to it again, again, because something in me loosened up. You mentioned preverbal experiences, something some of the most so called experts in the consequences of childhood in us as adults, don't even touch on. There's a lot of things, parts, emotions sensations etc in me that I don't have a name for. But when you said the word pre verbal something lit up. I don't know. I'm a riddle to myself. But there is some truth in this content that gave me a sense of ....there is hope for a calmer , less rigid, less protected alone life. I can keep writing for days. But I will close with a heart felt thank you.
Thank you so so much for your deeply personal and heartfelt comment! I am sorry it took me so long to reply but I have received it with my whole heart. 💙 . Sending you the warmest wishes
Wow...this is eye opening. Thank you so much for this video
You are so welcome!🤗 thank you
the first part looked like a personal attack. Jesus, I whish so bad to get rid of it, but its so automatic, even knowing that it is pure fantasy the gut feelings comes hard. Maybe people like us should really get by themselves
Look into reprogramming the subconscious mind. It's helped me heal my attachment style a lot over the years.
I agree!!
How do we reprogram the mind
Joshua 1,5
I will not fail you or abandon you, says the Lord.
Deuteronomy 31,8
[...] He will never leave you or forsake you [...]
These words were the only words that could help me. Bc the words of the Lord never change. They are alive and heal your heart and mind 💖
I was a secure person but certain events and guilt and toxic shame and self sabotage threw me into this stage. Its been hard but i hope ill recover soon. I changed for the Person and forgot who i was and i took in their sufferings. Its hard being an empath and having anxiety issues.
Me too.
@maxsheerin8219 well its a different story and you don't know what I've went through. Anyways thanks for your input
Oh my God I completely relate to this information
I have recently expanded on the article and re-recorded it with a human voice! If you are interested, here it is: :)
th-cam.com/video/2xNA5_vxMVc/w-d-xo.htmlfeature=shared
How does one rid of clingyness then reverse it and force your self at first to be alone until you accept it.
Navigating the fear of abandonment and developing a healthier approach to independence is a gradual process. Self-awareness is the first step. You may also start by spending short periods alone, gradually increasing the duration. Use this time for self-reflection, pursuing hobbies, or simply enjoying your own company... there are a lot more that can be said but this is a journey, and it's okay to take it one step at a time.
what a beautiful video, thank you 🙏
Thank you too!
man, if I had understood a lot of this on a deeper level about her we really could have navigated things better, I wish I had done it sooner
I know it’s cliche to say but it’s really never too late. Whatever had happened might not be meant to be. But something will come in the future.
Yup - non-stop ~16 minute barage of things that are wrong with me.
All of these seem to worsen for me as I get older.
Really sorry to hear that. It is tough :(
Thank you!
Really glad you like this!
Please God help me. I can’t take this anxiety anymore.
May be start meditating. That will help :)
I’m insane. Good to know.
Thank you very much.
This pretty much describes most of us, n it feels like a vicious circle 🥺
Yeah I recently hurt somebody because I felt like I wasn't important and ignored and I lashed out and said things I would have never normally said and I most likely lost this person in my life that I deep feelings for and we work getting into our relationship or pretty close to that point. And then after I felt ignored I lashed out and finally got a message back and she's like I got. I've been sick. That's after I lost out. I don't know what's wrong with your head and then I was like I'm sorry you sound really bad and she's like I was like do you need medicine or anything that she said no I'm good. Thank you! And haven't heard from her in a week. Fortunately I kept messaging every so often. Just a message one or two every other day or whatever just to see if she's doing okay. No response and then unfortunately yesterday was the day I just kept messaging saying why do you need to ignore me if you don't want to talk and just tell me. I didn't even realize I had these issues until I let somebody get close to me and I fear I push somebody that I really cared about away and I don't want to do that to her. I want to fix that but if I can't I get it. But I don't want to do this to somebody else. I've been single for 16 years after my marriage ended. I guess I just never let somebody in this deep to the point that I feel like my marriage ended again and I don't know what to do. I don't know why I get so upset because I get ignored and logically person could just be busy or in her case really sick. She really was. I heard her voice but I just can't think and I get this feeling
I feel you.
I've been feeling very much ignored, not understood by someone for a long time. Recently I lashed out.
So don't beat yourself up.
What if maybe it's true that no matter what issues we have, and we all have them, with a certain person it's gonna work. Somehow. I'm not saying we shouldn't work on ourselves, we have to, absolutely. But it's not just you. Some people trigger us more.
In my last relationship I wasn't feeling ignored. But it ended because of other issues.
So I think we should work on ourselves but know that it will work out if it really is the right person for us. No matter what issues we have.
If computer generated speech is a more efficient way to post content i understand but i want to let you know that i really love your voice :)
something about it is very connectable. I was so ecstatic when i first found your channel; in conjunction with everything else, something about the shape of your sentences, your tone, your diction, your emphasis on certain words, it felt incredibly connectable and relatable to me
Hello Claude
Thank you so much for your kind words and comment!!! They mean so much to me. I think after all this time I am still a little self conscious :) but I will explore using my own voice more!!
I hope this isn’t too robotic- switching from writing to videos is all new to me so I am still experimenting.
Your feedback is truly so valuable to me !
@@ImiatEggshellTherapyCoaching I agree your voice is so soothing. I have reached out to you via your website are you still taking clients
@@forestgirlmeditation3923 hello! When did you submit the contact form? I haven’t gotten anything. Hope to hear from you!
@@ImiatEggshellTherapyCoaching Hello, i agree! I am so happy I have found your channel and your website, I have felt myself breathing a sigh of relief lately, I feel understood and seen and things are starting to make sense. Your voice is lovely to listen too, I recommend using it for these videos as well
@@rebeccaashby-k2n Thank you so much for your comment!! It means a lot :)) I hope thing continue to make sense-- more and more, to you!
Trying to break this cycle. My divorce really triggered these child wounds and I met someone who was so sweet and honest and vulnerable and I tried so hard to let my walls down but as soon as I fell for him I wanted to pull back, and its almost like I feel like I’m falling apart and I am so worried that if he saw that, my flaws he will leave so I guard myself instead. It’s like feeling like if this person decided he did not want me it would be so painful.. and that’s what happened. He said he felt my walls went up and he could not connect with me. He had doubts and was not sure if the wanted to continue, he is going through a divorce finalizing and is scared of getting hurt too and has trauma too, but he said he is open to continuing in 1-2 months when divorce is over and he can start fresh.
He has checked in with me as promised.
I need to really work on this though with my therapist if this relationship is going to have a real chance if he is still open in 1 month or any healthy relationships in my future.
So one person loves being alone. Handles being alone, no problem.
Another person terrified of being alone.
So what does that mean?
That means it's in the person. It's not in the loneliness and likewise about money. There are some billionaires and millionaires who are more afraid of going broke than there are people who are like hippies and maybe only have a hundred bucks in their pocket or a thousand dollars in their savings account and you know they're cheerful. They're happy. They don't really care about money very much. Money is not a big deal to them the way they were raised. They're kind of just carefree. They kind of go with the flow. They're more spontaneous. They're not worried about how to pay the bills and all that stuff. So you see the hippie has less fear in this case than the billionaire.
How can that be?
Because the mind is constructing it.
All fear is imaginary.
A very interesting comment.
Is there anyway this video can be translated in Spanish? This is exactly why my last relationship ended due to my part and would like to send this to my ex why things ended the way they did.
This is true. Trauma. Despair and fear.
Really good video
Thank you for your recognition
super helpful video
Glad it was helpful!
What i find hard to understand in terms of learning to hold paradoxes in our mind is how much is too much in terms of the ways a person fails us? Where is the line?
That the person who is meant to love us, take care of us and be safe with us is the same person who can abuse and betray our trust in life changing ways- albeit family members, partners, friends etc.
Yeah, attractive women with abandonment issues always have someone pursuing them, so it's usually the other people who wind up at the sharp end of the stick while the attractive woman rinses and repeats until she's old and her looks fade.
Met one just like that at 37. I figured that is what it was and simply agreed when she said we are incompatible out of the blue.
@@SECONDTAKEGH they're literally always around that age 😆
Dodged a bullet, my friend.
Good I have listed . I dont have fear of abandonment .
Eish, this is so me 😢😢😢
fearful avoidants
So are your pets fearful of abandonment.
oh ok you just described me
This is me😮
How can I be free of all this 😢
Seek Jesus our lord and savior
F their fears of abandonment. Leave, detach, move on and find a healthy relationship. Their issues aren’t your responsibility.
It's true. In my case
I'm in love with BPD girls
You seek them out?
Yup
Borderline Personality Disorder?
They do kinda overlap a lot
Ugh this is me
don't care no more in your eyes i am female
Who wants to hear a computer read a script for mental health self improvement help? Click bait
It has since then been updated with a human voice version!
th-cam.com/video/2xNA5_vxMVc/w-d-xo.html
Sorry, I'd rather hear a real person with an accent than a robot
Point taken :))
I have recently expanded on the article and re-recorded it with a human voice! If you are interested, here it is: :)
th-cam.com/video/2xNA5_vxMVc/w-d-xo.htmlfeature=shared
@@ImiatEggshellTherapyCoaching just listened to it and it's much better! I'm glad you reached out to let me know too as the information was just... excellent. You have a very promising future, please keep it up.
@@daffyf6829 Aww thank you so much for saying that!!!! means so much!!
I feel attacked. 😂😂😂