Just be unavailable, listen more than talk, never let your actual feelings out, always flirt, never change your life for her, never tell your history, save your problems for discussing with your mates, make her chase.. and above all.. never idolise.. know that there’s always another woman around the corner.
you're so right! i went on a few dates. They told me i'm too nice and see me more as a friend, always available etc. well now i'm going to do the opposite.
*One of the biggest reasons men get friend-zoned is overinvesting too soon without setting clear boundaries. Treating her like a priority when you’re only an option sends the wrong message.*
Most men who get friend-zoned (myself included) do not understand the social dynamics between men and women and how attraction works. We also don't know how to flirt. These were never taught to us by anyone - no one taught this to us - but we were fed garbage from people and media such as 'be yourself', or 'give her flowers', or 'just tell her how you feel', while those who understand these dynamics usually have someone who taught them - perhaps a father figure or a good friend.
Attraction is non-negotiable. The issue here is that men are trying to negotiate their way into it by complaining that their kindness and quality time aren’t enough. Too freaking bad. Blame the Creator, not women.
The only sure shot way to stay out of the friend zone is to not only express your intentions verbally but also escalating physically. Let the woman know you desire her. Gaze into her eyes, hold her hand, go for the kiss. This is when she starts to see you as a romantic partner and not just a friend. This also works because you are showing the confidence to escalate but you are also being truthfu and honest with her by letting her know what you want. If she rejects your advances, then just move on and find someone else. Everyone gets rejected and everyone has success. Don't be afraid of rejection, just go for it.
And to risk it. And truthfully you’re not really risking anything. You’re “risking” this relationship that only exists in your world lol. If she tells you hey I don’t wanna risk it or something like that you have to be willing to say “thanks but I think we have different intentions here..” and walk away. Don’t be mean, don’t cause a scene, just move on. She basically did you a favor.
What I do is tell her I am only interested in her romantically and unless it is heading toward sex, then we will stop seeing each other. Only a woman benefits from friends only and he ends up being played as a fool.
I’m a woman watching this video and I watch many of Apollonia’s videos! She is speaking the truth! Men listen up! I have met so many men that are attracted to me and I can tell from the moment they approach me that they are into me BUT they lack the ability to realize that you cannot friend your way into a relationship with a woman. It does not work! I know you want me and I am waiting for you to be brave enough to take the first step. If you cannot then I just have to move on. I don’t chase men. She is speaking the truth! Please stand out as a woman’s lover; not her friend. If you only are seen as a friend then the woman will only think of you as a friend. This is the truth! 💯
@@Florida_gyrlPersonally, whenever (EVERY time) I’ve been interested in a woman, all I get is either a completely rude response with a ‘death stare’, or I’m LITERALLY INVISIBLE. A woman friendzoning a guy is about ‘oh, you weren’t confident enough so you’re a REJECT.’ That’s f***ing shallow as hell, but it’s the truth. Women JUDGE men, and can obliterate or kill their FUTURE social opportunities by being seen to reject the guy. I’ve never HAD a girlfriend, because I know for a FACT that women consider me weak (because I like to keep myself to myself, which females INCORRECTLY interpret as ‘weakness’). There are a whole bunch of other things about me/men in general that women make INCORRECT judgement calls on…all the time. I don’t talk to women because I’ll just get the response I’ve always gotten, and then they (again, incorrectly) judge me as being bad tempered and unapproachable.
I have been friendzoned by her after dating for 6 months i noticed something strange and asked her if she wanted to continue ,then she said " its best to be friends " i said politely that i dont see her as a friend and walked away.
I disagree (as others here) that guys are being "manipulative" when they act "nice" hoping for a relationship. Many guys are raised that way, often by their mothers, to be nice and not hit on women aggressively as they think it is gross and disrespectful. Since women also make a big deal out of catcallers and guys who go too far in expressing interest, guys see this as a mixed message. This has become a thing due to some female speakers but it is generally not true. Most guys who are attracted to you who have not come on strong literally believe that hanging out with you and being nice IS expressing interest..because why else would they be hanging out with you one on one if you are both straight? Maybe women want more direct, I am not saying this is false, but most guys are not some schemers.
Men and women think differently. She knows you spending time with her and being nice is expressing your interest. However, her emotions don’t respond how you want them to. Women respond to men that unapologetically go after what they want - women prefer different amounts of aggression. Some women like guys that are extremely forward and blunt, and others like guys that play a little mystery and “push/pull”. I’ve always lived by “Big Dick Energy”. And it’s worked very well.
@@Gbb93 nope, I have male friends who have hung out with me and were not interested in a relationship. (One was and is a pretty close friend. Everybody thought we were an item. And no, I am not ugly, he is just attracted to women who look up at him adoringly, while I am his intellectual equal, so he enjoys talking with me.) Right now I am trying to figure out if a guy who has been hanging out with me is interested or not. (I have a feeling that he is also trying to figure out himself.)
"You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a [complicated] land whose boundaries are limited [by your] imagination. That's the signpost up ahead--your next stop--the Friend Zone."
Loved listening to this! You always make a good point. After trying for 3 months now I finally had an interesting date recently which ended with a kiss. Sunday will be the second. Keep your fingers crossed for me ;) Wish you a great weekend!
@@alexwild4350 I'm still dating her :) We had dinner together and next time she's coming to my place, I'll cook. Not easy to set dates because we're both quite busy.. but looks good so far. Best wishes, thanks for writing! Greetings from Germany, Ralf
@@briar35981true that. The best GF I ever had rode a greyhound bus for 2 days to be with me. She showed up at my door early one morning. I had to leave for work. So she spent the day cleaning my place. She even washed the walls!
This is really high quality information. I'm one of these guys you talk about that always ends up in the Friend Zone with women I would like to court. I'm only now starting to learn that it's really my own fault for not showing intention! Thanks for making this so clear in this video, this video really helped me.
@@ApolloniaPontiI need help. I want to win my ex back. Right now I feel worthless and deflated. No disrespect but women have no idea what we go through. It’s easy for women to breathe since you all got the upper hand.
Beautiful points, don't forget to create a nice guy recovery program course for men, this way men can take their power back and they stop sacrifice their money and power to women. As I've always reiterated the nice guy syndrome is the ultimate killer of attraction!🙏🙏🙏
Another term would be a simp. Be interesting, keep your boundaries, keep yourself physically in shape. Have ambitions without them. Don’t be afraid to walk away and go elsewhere. Simps always are doormats
You’re always so on point! You’re very informative. I’m able to grasp all the info you throw, with your excellent way of explaining. All the topics you cover are also so on point. Thank you so much for all of your help! I can definitely feel a difference of self growth with relationships and life after watching your videos ! Keep it up !
I tend to disagree that those "nice, supportive friends" that hold their romantic interest are necessarily manipulative. I know such people and they simply genuinely believe(d) that being such a good person will lead them to a relationship and the right person will show up... It does not work and they will ultimately realize that this is not the correct method.
Agreed. A nice guy is simply a man who has been socially conditioned to express his sexual attraction indirectly, because he believes that being upfront with women about his desires would come across as insulting and offensive. There's more to it, of course, but I think this lies at the core of their problem.
I’m not trying to do anything anymore. All I can be is me . But as of late I’ve been straight forward and though nothing has happened at least they know my intentions.
Great info! Also, I think your production quality is very good. I subscribed. Even people IN A LONG TERM MARRIAGE can use your advice, and please consider a video on keeping the attraction going in a long term relationship.
Good work. As far as asking a woman out on a date, that sounds so inorganic and extra formal. I can understand making romantic comments but I think when a relationship naturally develops, by going on a hike or doing something you both are interested in is more natural. Guys don’t typically want to be one-on-one friends with a girl. Women should take that as a sign, when a man asks her to do something just the two of them, that is a date. Calling it a date or sitting down to an interview type dinner puts a lot of pressure on both parties that I think people aren’t comfortable with these days.
Showing intent and having confidence upon going up to her is great...but she still HAS to be available, and not say in response, "Thank you, but I have a boyfriend" or "I'm married".
I’ve turned men down who wanted to date/sleep with me, THEY offered to be friends. I never took favors from them, I rarely reach out to not get the wires crossed. I don’t think the “friend zone” means using a man.
There are different context. This context if you were upfront it’s not using a man. But many women do use the friendship knowing the guy likes them. But ultimately it’s the guy that’s responsible if he isn’t being honest with himself. Just like I mentioned in the video.
@@ApolloniaPonti Makes sense. The last guy who I had this happen with acted shocked when I acted shocked that he came onto me. We had never been on dates, I never asked him for favors in fact I would turn him down for that. He talked to me about women he was interested in. I thought we were regular friends lol. He was one of the girls 😅 Some guys as you said are just not honest with themselves or the women who they’re “friends” with.
@@ApolloniaPonti Good women will keep distance and will be friendly but not to be friends. Others will try to use them. I've seen good women who aren't my "friends" but if I ran into them, we would hug each other. Meanwhile women with emotional issues will keep beta male orbiters to feel good about themselves. Apollonia you're right, it's man's responsibility. But if that man has no honour and he doesn't get what he wants, he migh assault to her and that's why women should keep distance until they are %100 sure. All rape cases etc.doesn't come from strangers. Good men will walk away. Nice men "who are actually evil thinking being nice will get what they want" will stick around Better to keep distance then to be sorry
To add an addendum it was someone I’ve known 30+ years who I thought had a little more integrity!!! Alcohol shot for shots let a cat out of the bag, a person I’ve defended based on untruths m… when I thought this person was the person I once knew but I guess life and substance abuse issues have changed that person!!
@@jons1992 read it twice. Good book and even the history lesson in the beginning sounds exactly what happened to me 30+ years ago. I have the memory of a potato stop not much sticks.
It’s because you’re afraid of rejection. Women are turned off by this because it translates to timidness in other areas of life. Women instinctively like guys that go for what they want - but also can walk away if the woman doesn’t want the same thing. And a lot of the time, women will change their mind because it’s confident to walk away.
I just want to say your the best I don’t have problem that I don’t adapt to. But I love to here you confirm my actions because even thought I believe in me sometimes I wander about me….lol
Also, I had someone totally fall in love with me and I never told her I liked her. Only when she started pursuing me, did I start dating her. What about this dynamic of female attraction? You’ve maybe talked about it before, but it’s another perspective give to think about. Also, another girl I was hanging out with a lot secretly had attraction for me all along and didn’t know it. That actually happened twice. So they were trying to friend me into a relationship.
13:24 NO, you want her to want to SEE YOU, TO "TRAP" YOU for herself. So SHE will bring up the new restaurant or a restaurant and in some way suggest. The last time this happened, the girl asked "have you been to XYZ yet?". Cue... I want to see you and us go. My response, "yes but no". That gets her wondering, what does he mean, did he go, DID HE GO WITH SOMEONE, who, what, was it about... you get the point. I did, with someone, I wasn't impressed so I ditched, didn't reach to order anything yet. So I planned it, FOR THREE WEEKS AFTER..... and by the week of it, SHE MESSAGED ME EVERY DAY.
I recently experienced this because I thought that it would nice to try an old skool relationship with actual courtship and building up trust and intimacy!!! My parents met that way and stayed married Tim one died after 50+ years!!! It seems I did better with women when I treated them like bitches and hoez!!! However I have had plenty of success with skeevy unhealthy trik’n off!!! However I tried to do the right thing and actually build a relationship with morals and values!!! Now I feel like it just ain’t meant for a guy who has a pimp’n past but would really like a relationship with old skool values and chilvary
The problem with the "deeper level" thing is that many women hookup with men they just met on a data app not even knowing if he is a serial killer. The fact is if a woman is attracted to you that is all it takes. I know from personal experience on both sides of the coin.
@@LastEarBender just got home and it was by far the best of the 3🙏😊.. Tomorrow evening we may go dancing but no pressure just enjoying good feelings for now🙏
You have got to pass the physical though first! A man can’t just date any women they want, no matter how much confidence they have or intent they show. You gotta pass the physical first!!!
she came back asking for a favor, what should I do. She seeks help but still she ignores me and my texts. she says she feels bored and gave me a call. Should I give up.
I honestly hate the games that are played in modern dating... I don't chase girls. I date actual women who find me attractive for who I am without having to change who I am or go through some stupid equations just to attract someone. Kings and queens don't chase. They attract.
If you approach someone you like especially if your extra confident your walking Into a goddamn buzzsaw they aren't just going to say no they'll go out of there way to embarrass you and make you feel like a creep if they don't approach you first and flirt with you first don't waste your time
I told a woman let's go on a date. After she volunteerly gave me her number. Took her to 2 unique fun places she's never been. After first date she gave 2 hugs and kiss on the cheek saying I had fun thank you. Next date she gave me a peck on the lips. I do martial arts 8 years keep myself busy. But she put me in the friend zone. She had physical touch with everyone men women. Even new people. Signed Frustrated
So I am in love with this girl.. she told me she tried to make it work an she also told me that I have been friends zone.. an yes she tells me all her problems as she is so like other guy an she tells me all her story about him.. an he's a doctor he as nice cars he as everything an here I am just simple me been nice guy but she don't see me as anything she tells me she is lucky to have me in her life but I am friendzone
Bro, If U want her Just go away, focus on your career & live your dream life. She will realise in sometime You were important for her & she want it back... Even she comes back, try to focus on career & your life... Let her know that you are Improving your living That she wants it So Focus on yourself buddy peace ✌️🕊️
So i've hang out last week, we did had to be done and suddenly she starts saying that she never felt something like that, not in a good kind (she had pain lol). Now during the act she said that she was mine. Now i called her, direct voice mail. Her Instagram is suddenly on private.. what do i have to do ? I have a feeling she loves me so much that she is afraid to get in a relationship. Also she found god suddenly lmao
Update, she actually blocked me. Saw somebody i know and asked to call her, she picked up. Afterwards she called me. Telling me i have to find someone that deserves me. Wow really.
Update, i was on a boat with friends this sunday, send her pics of me on the boat. She called me saying that she wanted to go the movies (because i said i wanted to do that with her, long time ago) but we couldn't go because i told her i was with friends. Since then no information as be been exchanged also she told me that she did a photoshoot. Anyway, looks like she wants to prove something or seek attention from the world (also she has a second account on instagram and she also put it on private). But i ain't following her cuz she removed my follow in the first place. I think she wants me, she wants to love me but she is scared to be hurt again. But she has to understand that i am different. Trying to say to me that i deserve someone better.. i think she has to start chasing me again. Right now applying the no contact methode to build attraction. Let het fantasize about me. I am focusing on myself, with going to the gym, hangout with friends, i am done prioritisizing her while she isn't doing the same. Tired of running behind her, i deserve either her chasing me or begging for my attention and doing things that i like and hang out and make out or finding an other goddess that will provide that. I give it 2 weeks.
13:14 kmt NONE OF THAT CRAP. I get asked how my weekend, I respond, I don't have weekends. Because I don't, I don't work a 9-5, my business ventures keep me working constantly, so my week doesn't end. What it does? That is how to be a "jerk THAT SHE LOVES" and it reminds her you are busy, so DO NOT COME with small talk and it CHALLENGES HER to step up her level. That get's her invested, her thinking, and her EMOTIONS INVOLVED. What you suggest is VALIDATION, and she will come to you for it to give her dopamine and also kill any attraction because as much as you play it on her that she is thinking about you, IT ALSO TELLS HER YOU THINKING ABOUT HER. You NEED HER TO WONDER if you are thinking about her and if you are as interested as she is. Your suggestion is going to eventually let her lose attraction, and don't come with "high value woman", A WOMAN IS A WOMAN.
I just can’t get this right!! I’ve had a few relationships in which it just became about the sex. I ended them. Two of them wanted to just continue with a sexual relationship. I didn’t want just that. I had a relationship with an avoidant and that was a nightmare. My last / current relationship is with a lovely lady who had a previous abusive partner and has been clearly affected by this. We’ve been together for almost a year but it feels like a friendzone. She tells me that I’m her rock!! It isn’t what I want. There’s nobody else involved but she talks about her ex a lot. Their relationship was fine until something triggered his abusive behaviour. I’m thinking I need to pull back or move on. However. I’m sick of emotionally investing into these relationships only for them to come to an end. I haven’t been fishing for a while. I think I’ll get back into that!!
I'm sorry to heat about this. I would love to work with you on this. You probably need to work on how to be more selective with them women you date. I would highly encourage you to book a call with a team member on my team so we can discuss you possibly joining my group coaching program so we can work 1:1! form.typeform.com/to/KRWc9SBb
With dating apps if you tick all the boxes that indicate you want a relationship at the get go and if the other person ticks the same boxes then, this thing about frinedship shouldnt even be an issue unless the other person is just dishonest. Your likely to have this problem with people you meet offline where you cannot just go upto them from the get go and say i want relationship with you long term thats my goal here, because no one does that, everyone does consider that rude, creepy.
Lol……I play guitar, work out and improve my career for me, it’s a nice byproduct that women benefit from as well. I’m not really a car guy, but it would probably be the same for that if I was!!
As you mature you realize it’s not that tough. It’s a cliche’ but true….just be a man. Talk to one who seems approachable. That’s it. If she likes you she will give you a chance/. If not, walk away and don’t worry about her. That’s all.
It doesnt matter what i dp i dont get 2nd look from any woman.. i dont want to even try anymore because its not worth it. When i give space they n hook up with someone else
I have been asked that and I said no because of my strong feelings and she still wants to talk to me and I asked why and she said I don’t know we broke up officially yesterday after I picked up the last of my things and she cried and said she still loves me but I cheated on her from my past because of my prior divorce and didn’t have time to deal with that part of my life but for the last few months of going to church and getting a lot of therapy I have changed my ways and work a lot more on myself and life but don’t know what to do I’m lost on what to do next I still love her 😢
Most genuine nice guys were created by harsh and abusive fathers which makes stating intentions somewhat complex. It is difficult to connect with anyone, let alone a potential mate. For all you nice guys out there, listen up to what she is saying because if you are a genuinely nice guy this should cut you to your core to realize it is 'you' who is the manipulator when you never state the intentions behind your actions. If, as a nice guy, that does 'not' bother you, then you truly are a nice guy. What you want to be is a good man as a good man is transparent, defends the truth, and never manipulates women to gain something they want from her. He knows that nothing worth having comes easy in life. It costs dearly and requires patience because he is not using women to a selfish end, he is selecting and refusing to use other women in the process. He is not seeking to take from woman, he is seeking to invite her in and give to her because he can see her value. The reason for that is he is seeking dividends for the investment of his true self. So why would he ever pretend?
here's what I don't understand, women don't want to have a man who loves their company and wants to share interests. She wants one who basically wants to get in her pants. Then she gets the one dimensional 🤡 She finds out he's selfish and goes to everyone saying how all he cared about is himself and "used" her! A man has to approach a random woman and ask for a date. What if he speaks to her and can't stand her personality? Some guys aren't acting "being nice". They want someone who is a lover and his best friend! or is that plain impossible? If so, might as well pay for intermacy and give up. Saving time and money! Very unlike me to sound like this, but the whole game seems so mixed up and nobody wins imo
it’s just not worth it women these days simply don’t bring anything to the table accept ass and then drain your bank account . Women are so frustrating I just don’t even want to try anymore. I would rather be alone successful and go do what I want rather than have to do this 900 step program to get a woman get out of her own way .
Hmm Acknowledge the view points of this wise Beautiful lady But sometimes the issues Are Existing in the woman Trust low esteem NOT yet OVER a EX Men just DON'T be a push OVER.
Confidence is not being interesting or having interesting things happening in your life. Unemployed people get women. Confidence is knowing yourself and not caring about outside noise.
My ex reached out after one year no contact, she wants to build a friendship. We broke up because I loved her and told her after being together a little over a year, she backed off and said she wasn’t ready for that. I still have feelings for her but don’t now how to go about it, I already told her we can’t be friends but I feel I made a mistake?
Keep it real with her. If you want to be more than friends, make it clear. If she's down with that then good for you. If she insists on just being friends, then move on.
Can this help me in a LDR friendzone situation? We have come back in contact after 20years.We have been spending time together the past 3years,at one point she was interested in romantic relationship,then I started becoming needy/clingy and then she started pulling away,and told me that she wants to be just friends! Any advice would help now.Thank you
Jesus, you have to be a man of steel that is also a tightrope walker, respect her boundaries, respect your own boundaries, show intent, but don't be creepy, Don't be just the rational choice, but work on yourself, make her feel intense attraction, create deeper bonds, but maintain a sense of mystery. Communicate, be willing to be vunerable, but be careful not to share too much too soon. Oh and be reliable while being mysterious at the same time...oh yes, and don't forget, be playful ! Right. Sorry ladies, but does that sound worth it ? Give us all a break. A little more room for error would be nice before you ghost us.
i think this sounds all very confusing to a guy so i'll break it down what i think is happening, she's right about intention and tone, when you just try to connect with a woman she won't necessarily see you more than just a friend because that's all that you're presenting yourself as. so think about adding a bit of spice into it which is lust, you probably have it but you hide it as to not be that jerk who is only out to sleep with her or just fear of rejection, well it's the thing that's missing from how she sees you, and you can totally lead with lust and then try connecting with her but it has to be there in the beginning stages. so what you have to do is flirt and be about it and be a bit sexually mischevious and playful. however if you're already friendzoned now i'm not sure about it but i think it's already too late, that ship has sailed. but yeah that's just about approaching a woman so she will see you as a sexual being and she can decide from there how she wants to respond, is she interested in you or not in that kind of way, and if you don't do that to her she will just assume you are either pathetic or you're just there as a friend, that kinda depends on the woman either or isn't good for you really. the boundaries is simply not being a person she can walk all over because that says something about you as a person and that she can't trust you for your honest opinion as you're constantly just trying to please her. now you don't have to be a dick about it, but it's important that you can hold your ground and have your own opinion. as for the rest i think you know well enough what to do because that comes easy to you and that's establishing a connection and being supportive. now with all that said, not every woman that you like the looks of isn't necessarily good even if you manage to get them so keep your wits about you and happy hunting. (i'm not saying other ways doesn't work but this seems to be the way it goes for everyone generally)
Just be unavailable, listen more than talk, never let your actual feelings out, always flirt, never change your life for her, never tell your history, save your problems for discussing with your mates, make her chase.. and above all.. never idolise.. know that there’s always another woman around the corner.
you're so right! i went on a few dates. They told me i'm too nice and see me more as a friend, always available etc. well now i'm going to do the opposite.
@stefanstoic don't change who you are bro, you'll find it mentally exhausting, keep being you and the right girl will like you for you
I had a lady tell me that once. I replied I have enough friends. Haven’t seen or heard from her in years.
The friend zone is an illusion and I'm happy for you
Thank your lucky stars she’s gone. Cuz she’s prolly wasting another man’s time!! Don’t be a Beta orbiter! Peace !!! 😅
*One of the biggest reasons men get friend-zoned is overinvesting too soon without setting clear boundaries. Treating her like a priority when you’re only an option sends the wrong message.*
Most men who get friend-zoned (myself included) do not understand the social dynamics between men and women and how attraction works. We also don't know how to flirt. These were never taught to us by anyone - no one taught this to us - but we were fed garbage from people and media such as 'be yourself', or 'give her flowers', or 'just tell her how you feel', while those who understand these dynamics usually have someone who taught them - perhaps a father figure or a good friend.
Attraction is non-negotiable. The issue here is that men are trying to negotiate their way into it by complaining that their kindness and quality time aren’t enough. Too freaking bad. Blame the Creator, not women.
@@Gbb93 no I blame women you god damned monsters
The only sure shot way to stay out of the friend zone is to not only express your intentions verbally but also escalating physically. Let the woman know you desire her. Gaze into her eyes, hold her hand, go for the kiss. This is when she starts to see you as a romantic partner and not just a friend. This also works because you are showing the confidence to escalate but you are also being truthfu and honest with her by letting her know what you want. If she rejects your advances, then just move on and find someone else. Everyone gets rejected and everyone has success. Don't be afraid of rejection, just go for it.
Helluva comment
Best comment on this video. I couldn’t agree more.
And to risk it. And truthfully you’re not really risking anything. You’re “risking” this relationship that only exists in your world lol. If she tells you hey I don’t wanna risk it or something like that you have to be willing to say “thanks but I think we have different intentions here..” and walk away. Don’t be mean, don’t cause a scene, just move on. She basically did you a favor.
What I do is tell her I am only interested in her romantically and unless it is heading toward sex, then we will stop seeing each other. Only a woman benefits from friends only and he ends up being played as a fool.
your comment was really helpful esp for someone who didnt have dad
I’m a woman watching this video and I watch many of Apollonia’s videos! She is speaking the truth! Men listen up! I have met so many men that are attracted to me and I can tell from the moment they approach me that they are into me BUT they lack the ability to realize that you cannot friend your way into a relationship with a woman. It does not work! I know you want me and I am waiting for you to be brave enough to take the first step. If you cannot then I just have to move on. I don’t chase men. She is speaking the truth! Please stand out as a woman’s lover; not her friend. If you only are seen as a friend then the woman will only think of you as a friend. This is the truth! 💯
Great comment !!! Women do love to be pursued. It's part of the evaluation process men must go through.
Ok so stop saying “let’s start off as fiends first” or “I want to marry my best friend”. It’s fucking confusing and hypocritical.
@@robertfootball1 thanks for your response! I have never told a man those words so that doesn’t apply to all women.
@@Florida_gyrlPersonally, whenever (EVERY time) I’ve been interested in a woman, all I get is either a completely rude response with a ‘death stare’, or I’m LITERALLY INVISIBLE.
A woman friendzoning a guy is about ‘oh, you weren’t confident enough so you’re a REJECT.’ That’s f***ing shallow as hell, but it’s the truth. Women JUDGE men, and can obliterate or kill their FUTURE social opportunities by being seen to reject the guy.
I’ve never HAD a girlfriend, because I know for a FACT that women consider me weak (because I like to keep myself to myself, which females INCORRECTLY interpret as ‘weakness’). There are a whole bunch of other things about me/men in general that women make INCORRECT judgement calls on…all the time.
I don’t talk to women because I’ll just get the response I’ve always gotten, and then they (again, incorrectly) judge me as being bad tempered and unapproachable.
This is why women end up with pushy boorish men, have fun!
I have been friendzoned by her after dating for 6 months i noticed something strange and asked her if she wanted to continue ,then she said " its best to be friends " i said politely that i dont see her as a friend and walked away.
The most important thing here - is to make it very clear to her, that you WANT her.. Give her the time needed, but let her know.
Big facts show intent either way u know the truth and not wasting time
I disagree (as others here) that guys are being "manipulative" when they act "nice" hoping for a relationship. Many guys are raised that way, often by their mothers, to be nice and not hit on women aggressively as they think it is gross and disrespectful. Since women also make a big deal out of catcallers and guys who go too far in expressing interest, guys see this as a mixed message. This has become a thing due to some female speakers but it is generally not true. Most guys who are attracted to you who have not come on strong literally believe that hanging out with you and being nice IS expressing interest..because why else would they be hanging out with you one on one if you are both straight? Maybe women want more direct, I am not saying this is false, but most guys are not some schemers.
Shut up nice guy
how bro felt after saying that 😈
I can relate to this.
Men and women think differently. She knows you spending time with her and being nice is expressing your interest. However, her emotions don’t respond how you want them to. Women respond to men that unapologetically go after what they want - women prefer different amounts of aggression. Some women like guys that are extremely forward and blunt, and others like guys that play a little mystery and “push/pull”.
I’ve always lived by “Big Dick Energy”. And it’s worked very well.
@@Gbb93 nope, I have male friends who have hung out with me and were not interested in a relationship. (One was and is a pretty close friend. Everybody thought we were an item. And no, I am not ugly, he is just attracted to women who look up at him adoringly, while I am his intellectual equal, so he enjoys talking with me.) Right now I am trying to figure out if a guy who has been hanging out with me is interested or not. (I have a feeling that he is also trying to figure out himself.)
"You're traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a [complicated] land whose boundaries are limited [by your] imagination. That's the signpost up ahead--your next stop--the Friend Zone."
And how will he escape?
@@Ace.0.0.0. (She tells us in one of her other clips.)
@@azmike3572 It's simple, though not easy. Overcoming your own resistance is improving yourself. And you will be ready for a better woman.
Loved listening to this! You always make a good point.
After trying for 3 months now I finally had an interesting date recently which ended with a kiss. Sunday will be the second. Keep your fingers crossed for me ;) Wish you a great weekend!
Amazing! Love hearing about things like this. Thanks for sharing.
So what happened ? Your comment is now 3 weeks old...Come on...want to know !
@@alexwild4350 I'm still dating her :) We had dinner together and next time she's coming to my place, I'll cook. Not easy to set dates because we're both quite busy.. but looks good so far. Best wishes, thanks for writing! Greetings from Germany, Ralf
@@ralfj.1740 If she wants to be with you. She will make time to see you.
@@briar35981true that. The best GF I ever had rode a greyhound bus for 2 days to be with me. She showed up at my door early one morning. I had to leave for work. So she spent the day cleaning my place. She even washed the walls!
I have watched hundreds of dating videos. This video is PURE PLATINUM!!
Confidence(self-love) and having an interesting life, I think are keys to create attraction. Thank you Apollonia. You are always loved🙏🏻🤍
I rather get rejected. Then be a woman’s friend.
This is really high quality information. I'm one of these guys you talk about that always ends up in the Friend Zone with women I would like to court. I'm only now starting to learn that it's really my own fault for not showing intention! Thanks for making this so clear in this video, this video really helped me.
You can show all the intention you want but without flashing the cash you will go nowhere.
That’s how I got my girlfriend I didn’t play nice I kept it real and ended up liking me great video
You played nice and kept it real. That’s the difference. 😉
@@ApolloniaPontiI need help. I want to win my ex back. Right now I feel worthless and deflated. No disrespect but women have no idea what we go through. It’s easy for women to breathe since you all got the upper hand.
Beautiful points, don't forget to create a nice guy recovery program course for men, this way men can take their power back and they stop sacrifice their money and power to women. As I've always reiterated the nice guy syndrome is the ultimate killer of attraction!🙏🙏🙏
Appreciate you and this idea. This will 100% be coming out as you’re 100% right!
Another term would be a simp. Be interesting, keep your boundaries, keep yourself physically in shape. Have ambitions without them. Don’t be afraid to walk away and go elsewhere. Simps always are doormats
Good content. With that said, I believe experienced women should coach women not men.
The best way to not get friends zoned is to reject her offer for friendship.
You’re always so on point! You’re very informative. I’m able to grasp all the info you throw, with your excellent way of explaining. All the topics you cover are also so on point. Thank you so much for all of your help! I can definitely feel a difference of self growth with relationships and life after watching your videos ! Keep it up !
Ponti on Point!
Awesome Apollonia bang on love it and Thank you so much !!!😉
I tend to disagree that those "nice, supportive friends" that hold their romantic interest are necessarily manipulative. I know such people and they simply genuinely believe(d) that being such a good person will lead them to a relationship and the right person will show up... It does not work and they will ultimately realize that this is not the correct method.
Agreed. A nice guy is simply a man who has been socially conditioned to express his sexual attraction indirectly, because he believes that being upfront with women about his desires would come across as insulting and offensive. There's more to it, of course, but I think this lies at the core of their problem.
I’m not trying to do anything anymore. All I can be is me . But as of late I’ve been straight forward and though nothing has happened at least they know my intentions.
Well ever try to date asian women they don't like you being striaght up they like games and friendzone nonsense all the time.
Great info! Also, I think your production quality is very good. I subscribed. Even people IN A LONG TERM MARRIAGE can use your advice, and please consider a video on keeping the attraction going in a long term relationship.
What a beautiful teaching Apollonia ❤
On the point..Appolo as always
Apollonia this was good. I got some value from this video 😏😏
Good work. As far as asking a woman out on a date, that sounds so inorganic and extra formal. I can understand making romantic comments but I think when a relationship naturally develops, by going on a hike or doing something you both are interested in is more natural.
Guys don’t typically want to be one-on-one friends with a girl. Women should take that as a sign, when a man asks her to do something just the two of them, that is a date. Calling it a date or sitting down to an interview type dinner puts a lot of pressure on both parties that I think people aren’t comfortable with these days.
So complicated! Focus on being true to yourself and honest. Be kind, mysterious, interested, whatever, but never compromise yourself.
Showing intent and having confidence upon going up to her is great...but she still HAS to be available, and not say in response, "Thank you, but I have a boyfriend" or "I'm married".
I’ve turned men down who wanted to date/sleep with me, THEY offered to be friends. I never took favors from them, I rarely reach out to not get the wires crossed. I don’t think the “friend zone” means using a man.
It does. A woman who has guy friends just uses them for attention or resources.
There are different context. This context if you were upfront it’s not using a man. But many women do use the friendship knowing the guy likes them. But ultimately it’s the guy that’s responsible if he isn’t being honest with himself. Just like I mentioned in the video.
@@ApolloniaPonti Makes sense. The last guy who I had this happen with acted shocked when I acted shocked that he came onto me. We had never been on dates, I never asked him for favors in fact I would turn him down for that. He talked to me about women he was interested in. I thought we were regular friends lol. He was one of the girls 😅 Some guys as you said are just not honest with themselves or the women who they’re “friends” with.
@@ApolloniaPonti Good women will keep distance and will be friendly but not to be friends. Others will try to use them. I've seen good women who aren't my "friends" but if I ran into them, we would hug each other.
Meanwhile women with emotional issues will keep beta male orbiters to feel good about themselves. Apollonia you're right, it's man's responsibility. But if that man has no honour and he doesn't get what he wants, he migh assault to her and that's why women should keep distance until they are %100 sure. All rape cases etc.doesn't come from strangers.
Good men will walk away. Nice men "who are actually evil thinking being nice will get what they want" will stick around
Better to keep distance then to be sorry
Men have no need for women friends. They offered to be your friend thinking they will eventually be able to sleep with you.
You don’t need a lady to tell you what to do. You’re better off kings. Enjoy your life. Do not be desperate for others company.
To add an addendum it was someone I’ve known 30+ years who I thought had a little more integrity!!! Alcohol shot for shots let a cat out of the bag, a person I’ve defended based on untruths m… when I thought this person was the person I once knew but I guess life and substance abuse issues have changed that person!!
I am that nice guy. I really think it has to do with events early on in life that shapes you this way.
Get the book "no more mr. nice guy" by Dr. Robert Glover. It will help you to make changes to stop being a doormat
@@jons1992 read it twice. Good book and even the history lesson in the beginning sounds exactly what happened to me 30+ years ago. I have the memory of a potato stop not much sticks.
Why be nice when you can be evil? - Dante..
It’s because you’re afraid of rejection. Women are turned off by this because it translates to timidness in other areas of life. Women instinctively like guys that go for what they want - but also can walk away if the woman doesn’t want the same thing. And a lot of the time, women will change their mind because it’s confident to walk away.
Allll factsss
I just want to say your the best I don’t have problem that I don’t adapt to. But I love to here you confirm my actions because even thought I believe in me sometimes I wander about me….lol
Thank you so much for watching and commenting.
Also, I had someone totally fall in love with me and I never told her I liked her. Only when she started pursuing me, did I start dating her. What about this dynamic of female attraction? You’ve maybe talked about it before, but it’s another perspective give to think about.
Also, another girl I was hanging out with a lot secretly had attraction for me all along and didn’t know it. That actually happened twice. So they were trying to friend me into a relationship.
Basically she is saying be a fuckboy 🤣
🤣🤣🤣🤣
First timer here
13:24 NO, you want her to want to SEE YOU, TO "TRAP" YOU for herself. So SHE will bring up the new restaurant or a restaurant and in some way suggest. The last time this happened, the girl asked "have you been to XYZ yet?". Cue... I want to see you and us go. My response, "yes but no". That gets her wondering, what does he mean, did he go, DID HE GO WITH SOMEONE, who, what, was it about... you get the point. I did, with someone, I wasn't impressed so I ditched, didn't reach to order anything yet. So I planned it, FOR THREE WEEKS AFTER..... and by the week of it, SHE MESSAGED ME EVERY DAY.
Dear your great coch great job thx
I appreciate that!
I recently experienced this because I thought that it would nice to try an old skool relationship with actual courtship and building up trust and intimacy!!! My parents met that way and stayed married Tim one died after 50+ years!!! It seems I did better with women when I treated them like bitches and hoez!!! However I have had plenty of success with skeevy unhealthy trik’n off!!! However I tried to do the right thing and actually build a relationship with morals and values!!! Now I feel like it just ain’t meant for a guy who has a pimp’n past but would really like a relationship with old skool values and chilvary
The problem with the "deeper level" thing is that many women hookup with men they just met on a data app not even knowing if he is a serial killer. The fact is if a woman is attracted to you that is all it takes. I know from personal experience on both sides of the coin.
I'm going on my 3rd date in a hour and a half... Hoping for the best 🙏
Good luck have fun, show intent and banter a bit. 😉 most important have fun!
How'd you fit 3 dates into an hour and a half? jk - good luck and have fun, sir
@@LastEarBender just got home and it was by far the best of the 3🙏😊.. Tomorrow evening we may go dancing but no pressure just enjoying good feelings for now🙏
@@samuelwebster2769 👍
@@samuelwebster2769woah already another date tomorrow? You moving too fast dude, may not end well.
Apollonia
How did you become so knowledgeable?
You rock 👌
I have an extremely hard time even starting conversations with women.
You have got to pass the physical though first! A man can’t just date any women they want, no matter how much confidence they have or intent they show. You gotta pass the physical first!!!
I am the guy that needs to team up with Apollonia and TEACH MEN HOW TO UNLEASH THE INNER BEAST!!!!!
she came back asking for a favor, what should I do. She seeks help but still she ignores me and my texts. she says she feels bored and gave me a call. Should I give up.
Much better than red pill content
Thank you so much!
I honestly hate the games that are played in modern dating... I don't chase girls. I date actual women who find me attractive for who I am without having to change who I am or go through some stupid equations just to attract someone. Kings and queens don't chase. They attract.
If you approach someone you like especially if your extra confident your walking Into a goddamn buzzsaw they aren't just going to say no they'll go out of there way to embarrass you and make you feel like a creep if they don't approach you first and flirt with you first don't waste your time
This relates to me.
I’ve been watching your videos for over a year now.. thanks for the amazing content!
I appreciate that! Appreciate you so much for being a loyal follower. ❤️- Apollonia
I told a woman let's go on a date. After she volunteerly gave me her number. Took her to 2 unique fun places she's never been. After first date she gave 2 hugs and kiss on the cheek saying I had fun thank you. Next date she gave me a peck on the lips. I do martial arts 8 years keep myself busy. But she put me in the friend zone. She had physical touch with everyone men women. Even new people.
Signed Frustrated
I'm sorry to hear this!
This sounds like a lot of games just to have a woman then if you get with her you still have to play the game to keep her this is messed w
every gal is different. but intent is very important.
So I am in love with this girl.. she told me she tried to make it work an she also told me that I have been friends zone.. an yes she tells me all her problems as she is so like other guy an she tells me all her story about him.. an he's a doctor he as nice cars he as everything an here I am just simple me been nice guy but she don't see me as anything she tells me she is lucky to have me in her life but I am friendzone
You will forever be friendzoned. Sorry man, find another woman as hard as it sounds.
Bro,
If U want her
Just go away, focus on your career & live your dream life.
She will realise in sometime
You were important for her & she want it back...
Even she comes back, try to focus on career & your life...
Let her know that you are Improving your living
That she wants it
So Focus on yourself buddy
peace ✌️🕊️
If She will come, accept her
Live with her
But focus on yourself buddy
2:17
So i've hang out last week, we did had to be done and suddenly she starts saying that she never felt something like that, not in a good kind (she had pain lol). Now during the act she said that she was mine. Now i called her, direct voice mail. Her Instagram is suddenly on private.. what do i have to do ? I have a feeling she loves me so much that she is afraid to get in a relationship. Also she found god suddenly lmao
Update, she actually blocked me.
Saw somebody i know and asked to call her, she picked up.
Afterwards she called me. Telling me i have to find someone that deserves me.
Wow really.
Sounds like you scrambled her guts and her mind hahaha. Give her space and time. Don't be needy.
Update, i was on a boat with friends this sunday, send her pics of me on the boat. She called me saying that she wanted to go the movies (because i said i wanted to do that with her, long time ago) but we couldn't go because i told her i was with friends. Since then no information as be been exchanged also she told me that she did a photoshoot. Anyway, looks like she wants to prove something or seek attention from the world (also she has a second account on instagram and she also put it on private). But i ain't following her cuz she removed my follow in the first place.
I think she wants me, she wants to love me but she is scared to be hurt again. But she has to understand that i am different. Trying to say to me that i deserve someone better.. i think she has to start chasing me again.
Right now applying the no contact methode to build attraction. Let het fantasize about me.
I am focusing on myself, with going to the gym, hangout with friends, i am done prioritisizing her while she isn't doing the same. Tired of running behind her, i deserve either her chasing me or begging for my attention and doing things that i like and hang out and make out or finding an other goddess that will provide that. I give it 2 weeks.
13:14 kmt NONE OF THAT CRAP. I get asked how my weekend, I respond, I don't have weekends. Because I don't, I don't work a 9-5, my business ventures keep me working constantly, so my week doesn't end. What it does? That is how to be a "jerk THAT SHE LOVES" and it reminds her you are busy, so DO NOT COME with small talk and it CHALLENGES HER to step up her level. That get's her invested, her thinking, and her EMOTIONS INVOLVED. What you suggest is VALIDATION, and she will come to you for it to give her dopamine and also kill any attraction because as much as you play it on her that she is thinking about you, IT ALSO TELLS HER YOU THINKING ABOUT HER. You NEED HER TO WONDER if you are thinking about her and if you are as interested as she is. Your suggestion is going to eventually let her lose attraction, and don't come with "high value woman", A WOMAN IS A WOMAN.
Nice guys do finish last
"Treat people the way you want to be treated". Doesn't work.
I just can’t get this right!! I’ve had a few relationships in which it just became about the sex. I ended them. Two of them wanted to just continue with a sexual relationship. I didn’t want just that. I had a relationship with an avoidant and that was a nightmare. My last / current relationship is with a lovely lady who had a previous abusive partner and has been clearly affected by this. We’ve been together for almost a year but it feels like a friendzone. She tells me that I’m her rock!! It isn’t what I want. There’s nobody else involved but she talks about her ex a lot. Their relationship was fine until something triggered his abusive behaviour. I’m thinking I need to pull back or move on. However. I’m sick of emotionally investing into these relationships only for them to come to an end.
I haven’t been fishing for a while. I think I’ll get back into that!!
I'm sorry to heat about this. I would love to work with you on this. You probably need to work on how to be more selective with them women you date. I would highly encourage you to book a call with a team member on my team so we can discuss you possibly joining my group coaching program so we can work 1:1!
form.typeform.com/to/KRWc9SBb
Set boundries
Tell them you like them asap
be hopeful
How is any of this not just playing games? You said it’s not playing games but wait 10-15 minutes to respond to texts.
I always find it funny to see guys in these comments giving advice. Why were they watching this video in the first place?
Okay. So what are the 2 types of friendzone? I wouldn’t mind one where there is some intimacy. If that is one of the types, how do I get into it? lol
With dating apps if you tick all the boxes that indicate you want a relationship at the get go and if the other person ticks the same boxes then, this thing about frinedship shouldnt even be an issue unless the other person is just dishonest.
Your likely to have this problem with people you meet offline where you cannot just go upto them from the get go and say i want relationship with you long term thats my goal here, because no one does that, everyone does consider that rude, creepy.
Lol……I play guitar, work out and improve my career for me, it’s a nice byproduct that women benefit from as well. I’m not really a car guy, but it would probably be the same for that if I was!!
I'm a nice guy,..oh well, I'm afraid it's hopeless.
As you mature you realize it’s not that tough. It’s a cliche’ but true….just be a man. Talk to one who seems approachable. That’s it. If she likes you she will give you a chance/. If not, walk away and don’t worry about her. That’s all.
Where's the second type of friend zone you spoke about earlier you said you would get back to it
Some guys get friend zone because they act a little feminine or look gay. I seen this happen.
It doesnt matter what i dp i dont get 2nd look from any woman.. i dont want to even try anymore because its not worth it. When i give space they n hook up with someone else
tried signing up. not working .
I have been asked that and I said no because of my strong feelings and she still wants to talk to me and I asked why and she said I don’t know we broke up officially yesterday after I picked up the last of my things and she cried and said she still loves me but I cheated on her from my past because of my prior divorce and didn’t have time to deal with that part of my life but for the last few months of going to church and getting a lot of therapy I have changed my ways and work a lot more on myself and life but don’t know what to do I’m lost on what to do next I still love her 😢
Go get her simple.
Make her feel safe
Someone will not leave you for your 1 mistake & ignore 10000 good deeds u do.
Best of luck my frnd 🤌
Most genuine nice guys were created by harsh and abusive fathers which makes stating intentions somewhat complex. It is difficult to connect with anyone, let alone a potential mate. For all you nice guys out there, listen up to what she is saying because if you are a genuinely nice guy this should cut you to your core to realize it is 'you' who is the manipulator when you never state the intentions behind your actions. If, as a nice guy, that does 'not' bother you, then you truly are a nice guy. What you want to be is a good man as a good man is transparent, defends the truth, and never manipulates women to gain something they want from her. He knows that nothing worth having comes easy in life. It costs dearly and requires patience because he is not using women to a selfish end, he is selecting and refusing to use other women in the process. He is not seeking to take from woman, he is seeking to invite her in and give to her because he can see her value. The reason for that is he is seeking dividends for the investment of his true self. So why would he ever pretend?
The fact that you’re saying sleeping with a woman in the friend zone and not getting anything while in the friend zone is equally bad is ridiculous
Right ! 😊
here's what I don't understand, women don't want to have a man who loves their company and wants to share interests. She wants one who basically wants to get in her pants. Then she gets the one dimensional 🤡 She finds out he's selfish and goes to everyone saying how all he cared about is himself and "used" her! A man has to approach a random woman and ask for a date. What if he speaks to her and can't stand her personality? Some guys aren't acting "being nice". They want someone who is a lover and his best friend! or is that plain impossible? If so, might as well pay for intermacy and give up. Saving time and money! Very unlike me to sound like this, but the whole game seems so mixed up and nobody wins imo
So many only have drug addicts around available so we need the alien plan.
it’s just not worth it women these days simply don’t bring anything to the table accept ass and then drain your bank account . Women are so frustrating I just don’t even want to try anymore. I would rather be alone successful and go do what I want rather than have to do this 900 step program to get a woman get out of her own way .
Excuse me for being on my purpose 😂
In the friend zone I listen to women and one thing leads to another and a few drinks in Ba Bam!!!!!
Uoouuu ahhh oooohh ahhhhh uuuuuu ahhhhh!
Hmm Acknowledge the view points of this wise Beautiful lady But sometimes the issues Are Existing in the woman Trust low esteem NOT yet OVER a EX Men just DON'T be a push OVER.
Confidence is not being interesting or having interesting things happening in your life. Unemployed people get women. Confidence is knowing yourself and not caring about outside noise.
🙏
What are your credentials to qualify you as a counselor/life coach?
My ex reached out after one year no contact, she wants to build a friendship. We broke up because I loved her and told her after being together a little over a year, she backed off and said she wasn’t ready for that. I still have feelings for her but don’t now how to go about it, I already told her we can’t be friends but I feel I made a mistake?
Keep it real with her. If you want to be more than friends, make it clear. If she's down with that then good for you. If she insists on just being friends, then move on.
@@pepepez6335 thx, I have to move on
She probably was coming back with stds anyways, you saved yoursefl dawg. @IvnGs
Can this help me in a LDR friendzone situation? We have come back in contact after 20years.We have been spending time together the past 3years,at one point she was interested in romantic relationship,then I started becoming needy/clingy and then she started pulling away,and told me that she wants to be just friends! Any advice would help now.Thank you
Get rid of her.
Do you know being in love is totally different from loving a woman
yess
Of course
Way too available needy
Intent - choice for other and natural direction for y
Mystery and show intent balance
Own your truth
She will not friend zone you if your wallet $$$$$$ is big enough
Jesus, you have to be a man of steel that is also a tightrope walker, respect her boundaries, respect your own boundaries, show intent, but don't be creepy, Don't be just the rational choice, but work on yourself, make her feel intense attraction, create deeper bonds, but maintain a sense of mystery. Communicate, be willing to be vunerable, but be careful not to share too much too soon. Oh and be reliable while being mysterious at the same time...oh yes, and don't forget, be playful ! Right. Sorry ladies, but does that sound worth it ? Give us all a break. A little more room for error would be nice before you ghost us.
This video is too long. Can somebody write down keep point???
i think this sounds all very confusing to a guy so i'll break it down what i think is happening, she's right about intention and tone, when you just try to connect with a woman she won't necessarily see you more than just a friend because that's all that you're presenting yourself as. so think about adding a bit of spice into it which is lust, you probably have it but you hide it as to not be that jerk who is only out to sleep with her or just fear of rejection, well it's the thing that's missing from how she sees you, and you can totally lead with lust and then try connecting with her but it has to be there in the beginning stages. so what you have to do is flirt and be about it and be a bit sexually mischevious and playful.
however if you're already friendzoned now i'm not sure about it but i think it's already too late, that ship has sailed.
but yeah that's just about approaching a woman so she will see you as a sexual being and she can decide from there how she wants to respond, is she interested in you or not in that kind of way, and if you don't do that to her she will just assume you are either pathetic or you're just there as a friend, that kinda depends on the woman either or isn't good for you really.
the boundaries is simply not being a person she can walk all over because that says something about you as a person and that she can't trust you for your honest opinion as you're constantly just trying to please her. now you don't have to be a dick about it, but it's important that you can hold your ground and have your own opinion. as for the rest i think you know well enough what to do because that comes easy to you and that's establishing a connection and being supportive.
now with all that said, not every woman that you like the looks of isn't necessarily good even if you manage to get them so keep your wits about you and happy hunting.
(i'm not saying other ways doesn't work but this seems to be the way it goes for everyone generally)