Zackamoca hi"jacking" your comment, Charlie if you see this somehow, I wanted you to know this exact same thing happened to me minus hangover add opiate cum killer effect!
That made me laugh so hard, cuz it reminds me of when I used to work with my dad he would pass by the section in the store that had betty Crocker products and say, "hey, take out the R and see what it says!" I laughed my ass off and it was early in the fuckin morning so whatever customers and employees were there shot us strange looks.
I normally hate it when TH-camrs tell personal stories, but Cr1tikal... I could listen to this man talk about anything and I would be entirely captivated.
I'm a major hypochondriac as well. My adult life has essentially been me fearing random body pains. So even to this day, I google shit, and escalate my bodily paranoia. One example, (that's funny now, not then). I was 17ish years old, which is when I truly started getting anxious about health concerns. I was scratching my asscrack at some point in the night, and I felt a bump near my cornhole. So even though I thought it was grimy, I dug to find what this bump was. I was practically giving myself a amateur colonoscopy, but fuck it, I had to find out what this bump was. So as pointless and uninformative as prodding my brown eye was, I made a conclusion that I would die from it. So I googled "inner ass bump" for lack of a better term in my panic. So google obviously pointed me to a site that informed me, that I may have some kinda deadly growth on my starfish. Panic set in. I didn't know what to do. I started to prod my butthole more, to feel if it had grown. There was I, alone, in the dark poking my asshole. I managed to fall asleep, despite the impending sense of doom. I didn't wash my ass hand. I woke up later, and wiped my eyes. Forgetting that earlier, I prodded my manhole. I took a shower. Then ran to my family doctor. (I live in Canada so I'm lucky, because if I had to pay for the frequent doctor trips, I'd be so far in debt, the sun would nary shine a beam on me). After arriving to see my doc, I then asked him reluctantly, to view my brown eye. He obliged. Turns out it was a pimple. Out of all fucking things for some reason, I didn't account for that possibility. Worse thing, I'm still kinda like that, I'm paranoid as fuck. But I've managed to not pick my ass as violently since. Only the odd time, through the undies. Embarrassing nonetheless. But that's my hypochondriac life story.
As a hypochondriac myself, who's been recently suffering debilitating anxiety attacks from worrying about illness and afflictions, it's so refreshing to hear that one of my favorite youtubers has the same problem. Good fucking job getting through that man, I would be loosing my mind
Thank you for informing us. I honestly had no idea you could injure yourself to the point of swelling for DAYS. Now I know what to look for and to be careful. Good information.
That can happen to clits, it did to me once. After a day I was going to go to the doctor but I guess it was closed on weekends so I just had to deal and it hurt A LOT so I ended up just sticking a ziplock bag full of ice into my pants and walking around like that. It was mostly back to normal after the weekend thankfully.
@@ohhadivist Wow, thanks for the quick reply on such an old comment! That's very kind. I wonder though, how bad did it hurt on a scale from 1 to 10? Sounds like you had to walk around while injured too.
@@lemonywater2979 No problem! It was so long ago now I don't really remember the sensation, but it must have been at a 7 or 8 judging by my reaction to it.
I’m also a hypochondriac, whenever something miniature happens to me like jamming my finger I usually thought you would need to cut it off or if I got a red eye because of playing to much video games I would think I had Hardcore glaucoma. Etc. so I feel you charlie
If you think about it perhaps girls may be more prone to irritation down in doing the deed there cause they're inserting their hands or other things which may have harmful bacteria on it.
Brad Oreman we're more prone to a lot of irritation and infection because almost everything is internal and covered in mucous membranes. Thankfully, I've never had to deal with anything worse than razor burn.
I️ had to take my brother to the doctor when he did something like this and that was an experience. He didn’t want to tell my mom so I had to drive with him to the hospital, and he cried when they did an STD check
Quick tip: dont ever tingle your dingle with anything other than lotion or something like it. The whole time I was thinking he probably cleaned the clarinet with the wrong solution cuz I've done it with liquid soap before and my diqque got inflamed too
I got my foreskin caught in my zipper once, I still have the scar. i couldn't jack it for a month and a half and wanted to die. I didn't go to the doctor because i didn't think it would get that bad, and since i'm very careful when cleaning down their it didn't get infected anyway. I'd never been more afraid of an injury in my life and it was one of the only times i've ever hoped that there was a higher power to help me even though im very athiest lol.
can i just ask, have you been leaving games to try and get doomfist? i saw that alert at the start, you beautiful creature of a greatness ascending our own
I was a hypochondriac for years until I actually realized that I want to die, so instead of fearing death I hope for it and sometimes even go out of my way to ensure it
It's more likely to be the other way around, if related at all. The foreskin has a sliding motion that reduces friction on the penis while also allowing for more feeling, meaning less strokes required to reach an orgasm.
Actually the foreskin protects the penis from all kinds of dirt, friction and all the other bad stuff like it rubbing against your rough ass underwear all day. Just as mentioned earlier it also acts as a natural lubricant and is very sensitive by itself (in a pleasurable way). Circumcision is by no means beneficial unless a person has a severe case of phimosis that can't be cured with creams and stretching. Any hygiene problems proposed by pro-mutilation people can be prevented by a thing we all civilized people have called a shower. Just wash your dick, people. Most of the world's men are uncircumcised and live their lives perfectly fine and healthy.
My most embarrassing injury: It was 3 am and I was masturbating. I got a cramp in both my hand and my calf because I accidentally shifted the wrong way. I could have woke someone up from almost shouting because calf cramps are insanely painful
I've had this happen to me 4 or 5 times in my life. I never did anything about it though, I just said "Oh, crap, I should cool it with the masturbating for a while" and then just waited for the swelling to go away on its own before I masturbated again. Usually took a few days, but, I'm more the kind of person that either I need to go to the ER or someone nags me to go to the hospital, otherwise, I won't go and will just expect my body to fix itself.
Should have titled this video "Betty Cocker and a Recipe for Disaster"
Genius.
Are you a Nobel Laureate?
Or classical name "Beat my meat. Well shit"
Zackamoca hi"jacking" your comment, Charlie if you see this somehow, I wanted you to know this exact same thing happened to me minus hangover add opiate cum killer effect!
😂❤
That made me laugh so hard, cuz it reminds me of when I used to work with my dad he would pass by the section in the store that had betty Crocker products and say, "hey, take out the R and see what it says!" I laughed my ass off and it was early in the fuckin morning so whatever customers and employees were there shot us strange looks.
Love how he's playing as doomfist while telling this story.
That muscular hand 😩
Whoever the evil genius who signed him up for Betty Crocker newsletters is deserves an award for making me laugh so hard
That was truly a great story my mongolian friend.
That was truly a great story my mongoloid friend.
The mongolian way Слава Монголии, товарищ!
Moistolian.
Чи муу нохой минь! Яагаад цөөвөр чонины зураг тавидаг билээ??
Genghis Swan lmao
I normally hate it when TH-camrs tell personal stories, but Cr1tikal... I could listen to this man talk about anything and I would be entirely captivated.
I havent laughed this hard in a long time. Thank you sir, made my night.
0:00 Repeatedly leaving matches early will result in a penalty
Someone's been naughty
misfiteando
Maybe his internet went out. My brother was penalized with a suspension because that happened.
I don't think I've ever seen a timestamp for 0:00 in the comments before.
@@janfungusamon4926 A while back a ton of people would post them and say "Replay button: price is one like" or some stupid shit like that.
@@failinginamerica wdym a while back? people do that a lot still
@@systematic4049 I suppose, I just hadn't seen it in a long time. Either way it's retarded.
I'm a major hypochondriac as well. My adult life has essentially been me fearing random body pains. So even to this day, I google shit, and escalate my bodily paranoia. One example, (that's funny now, not then). I was 17ish years old, which is when I truly started getting anxious about health concerns. I was scratching my asscrack at some point in the night, and I felt a bump near my cornhole. So even though I thought it was grimy, I dug to find what this bump was. I was practically giving myself a amateur colonoscopy, but fuck it, I had to find out what this bump was. So as pointless and uninformative as prodding my brown eye was, I made a conclusion that I would die from it. So I googled "inner ass bump" for lack of a better term in my panic. So google obviously pointed me to a site that informed me, that I may have some kinda deadly growth on my starfish. Panic set in. I didn't know what to do. I started to prod my butthole more, to feel if it had grown. There was I, alone, in the dark poking my asshole. I managed to fall asleep, despite the impending sense of doom. I didn't wash my ass hand. I woke up later, and wiped my eyes. Forgetting that earlier, I prodded my manhole. I took a shower. Then ran to my family doctor. (I live in Canada so I'm lucky, because if I had to pay for the frequent doctor trips, I'd be so far in debt, the sun would nary shine a beam on me). After arriving to see my doc, I then asked him reluctantly, to view my brown eye. He obliged. Turns out it was a pimple. Out of all fucking things for some reason, I didn't account for that possibility. Worse thing, I'm still kinda like that, I'm paranoid as fuck. But I've managed to not pick my ass as violently since. Only the odd time, through the undies. Embarrassing nonetheless. But that's my hypochondriac life story.
Laughed so hard at this I woke up my mom
Pics or it didn't happen
Your profile pic should suffice
Please God n
Gippo 700th
0-0
Lol
I actually saw that video nice choice!
we dont accept your kind here.
The One Damn grey skins.
Samurai Jacks Off I don't know how it's spelled :*/
I'm Not Creative You dark elves. Cant do anything right, go back to morrowind!
fuk...
oh yeah I bet you like watchmojo
Watched ménage twa, defenitely best cure for a hangover
Funny you put the stress mark where it belongs but you don't know that it's actually trois and not fucking twa.
Montin Yek lol
Ménage a trois
Face Drinker thank you!
Thanks alot man
As a hypochondriac myself, who's been recently suffering debilitating anxiety attacks from worrying about illness and afflictions, it's so refreshing to hear that one of my favorite youtubers has the same problem. Good fucking job getting through that man, I would be loosing my mind
This is now my favorite bedtime story
"Cleaning the clarinet"
IM WEEPING. I PLAY CLARINET IN THE MARCHING BAND. WHYYY.
OpticTwitch oh dang do you do it in front of your class? ugh
littleMONKEYMAN12 nO OMG NO I ACTUALLY PLAY IT. AS IN MUSICALLY, I'm shRIEKING
so how is it blowing Cr1tikal?
chill
u can clean my rusty french horn if u like
Thank you for informing us. I honestly had no idea you could injure yourself to the point of swelling for DAYS. Now I know what to look for and to be careful. Good information.
When I see Overwatch I know it's story time with Papa.
It takes a lot of courage to tell a really embarrassing story, just to get a laugh out of us, that's what I really admire about you critical
Orgasming helps with headaches because it like loosens veins or something.
I disagree. You just gotta be VERY DEDICATED TO THE CRAFT.
hotinplaya I find it helps quite well
We'll go with that.
hotinplaya the throbbing is painful. But I’m already dedicated to finishing, I always endure.
It relieves some pressure but getting through the beating process is rough.
My depression has been cured this story was a gift to humanity
I have not laughed this hard in a while, thanks for the story, man. Your way with words is amazing.
Category: Gaming
Yeah this is standart let's play commentary, nothing unusual here.
I live in Mocsow time zone, hence the first thing I see in the morning is your video. Just want to tell you how grateful I am to you
"I don't have a son" ha good one dad. Is it cool if I renew my subscription for haba hotels?
1:13 I watch the same stuff as Charlie. I feel closer to God.
thanks for the porn recommendation bud
Lonkoh I can't find it I might be spelling it wrong
It's spelled menage a trois and it's 33 minutes long. Thank me later friend.
I found weird gay porn searching it up
Check the Watch History on Cr1TiKaL's Pornhub account: thebiggestmoist
Lonkoh what a good video
This is such a shame that these videos of Charles dont get the attention that they deserve nowadays.
2023 SQUAD
So Charlie have you filed a noise complaint against your neighbor frog yet?
I love that Charlie is the only person on this site that can tell a story like this and it's not weird at all
You actually give my life purpose charlie, thank you
The way you tell stories makes me convulse its so funny. Like i cant watch your videos when im trying to sleep because its just too entertaining.
Thank you for this bed time story.
That can happen to clits, it did to me once. After a day I was going to go to the doctor but I guess it was closed on weekends so I just had to deal and it hurt A LOT so I ended up just sticking a ziplock bag full of ice into my pants and walking around like that. It was mostly back to normal after the weekend thankfully.
Wait hold on because you just unlocked a new fear for me. Did you end up going to the doctor or did it go away by itself?
@@lemonywater2979 It went away on its own after a couple of days, no worries
@@ohhadivist Wow, thanks for the quick reply on such an old comment! That's very kind. I wonder though, how bad did it hurt on a scale from 1 to 10? Sounds like you had to walk around while injured too.
@@lemonywater2979 No problem! It was so long ago now I don't really remember the sensation, but it must have been at a 7 or 8 judging by my reaction to it.
@@ohhadivist Glad that you're good now!
I love how he used Doomfist for this story. Lmfao! Perfect.
I’m also a hypochondriac, whenever something miniature happens to me like jamming my finger I usually thought you would need to cut it off or if I got a red eye because of playing to much video games I would think I had Hardcore glaucoma. Etc. so I feel you charlie
You are my gardener, I am your flowerbed, and you water me!
I’ve been looking for this for the past 20 minutes... Worth it...
You wordsmith you. This was incredible.
If you think about it perhaps girls may be more prone to irritation down in doing the deed there cause they're inserting their hands or other things which may have harmful bacteria on it.
Brad Oreman we're more prone to a lot of irritation and infection because almost everything is internal and covered in mucous membranes. Thankfully, I've never had to deal with anything worse than razor burn.
You could say it had 2 happy endings...
I love how your not embarrassed talking about that I respect that
I️ had to take my brother to the doctor when he did something like this and that was an experience. He didn’t want to tell my mom so I had to drive with him to the hospital, and he cried when they did an STD check
Thank you for being brave and sharing this wonderful story
2:02 "I paused the video and thanked myself for the video on my screen"
Quick tip: dont ever tingle your dingle with anything other than lotion or something like it. The whole time I was thinking he probably cleaned the clarinet with the wrong solution cuz I've done it with liquid soap before and my diqque got inflamed too
Why did I watch this while I was eating hotdogs
That sounded like the kind of happy ending that could have come from a happy ending.
Remind me never to touch Charlie's phone.
reminder: never touch Charlie's phone.
Gonna go out on a limb here and say that most guys have probably watched porn on their phone. Charlie's not alone here
I’m here to remind u
@@IvanGonzalez-eo5kj thanks
@@kalsizzle holy shit how is the future?
The amount of knowledge in this video is spectacular
Didn't think I'd get a hangover-reducing porn recommendation today. Thanks boi.
Greg Duarte did it work for you?
thanks for raising this awareness and 7 billion are listening
I'm sorry about your injury, but your telling of this story made me laugh so hard tears ran down my leg
I listened to this. And I didn’t stop listening to this. What am I doing with my life
I’m here after the jelqing vid
1:51 "i was beating my dick like it owed me money and eventually my dick deployed its cream and my mission was complete"
i couldn't fucking breath
Its always interesting finding out you have something in common with celebrities
this was the most educational public service announcement i've ever heard
I got my foreskin caught in my zipper once, I still have the scar. i couldn't jack it for a month and a half and wanted to die. I didn't go to the doctor because i didn't think it would get that bad, and since i'm very careful when cleaning down their it didn't get infected anyway. I'd never been more afraid of an injury in my life and it was one of the only times i've ever hoped that there was a higher power to help me even though im very athiest lol.
Benjo same thing happened to me lol hahahah
My third grade teacher told a story of another student who did that in the bathroom. Didn’t say who it was, but still.
I physically felt pain while reading this
I'm glad i watched this before I go to bed. Now I will sleep much better
can i just ask, have you been leaving games to try and get doomfist? i saw that alert at the start, you beautiful creature of a greatness ascending our own
I read the title as Embarrassed in Jury, so I was more than confused
4:00 a soup dish? You mean a bowl?
This is one of my favorite videos of all time
Got here before this vid had a thumbnail.
That film is very high quality. 95% Rotten Tomatoes
My Embarrassing Injury: I once hurt my knee but continued to run to the shop for milk, then i said, I kneed a break lol RAWR XD
OKAY the jokes are running a little long
ECKS DEEE
deocoreoht I agree with these notions.
Cr1TiKaL was just trying to get some milk too
The Milkssiah do you like fedoras?
This is my all time favorite video of yours
What an interesting male human
I was a hypochondriac for years until I actually realized that I want to die, so instead of fearing death I hope for it and sometimes even go out of my way to ensure it
Is this an uncircumcised problem or wtf?
BHWpeyoteman That's what I'm thinking
It's more likely to be the other way around, if related at all. The foreskin has a sliding motion that reduces friction on the penis while also allowing for more feeling, meaning less strokes required to reach an orgasm.
wisemage0 I thought it was the other way around.
wisemage0 I feel bad for circumcised people now
Actually the foreskin protects the penis from all kinds of dirt, friction and all the other bad stuff like it rubbing against your rough ass underwear all day. Just as mentioned earlier it also acts as a natural lubricant and is very sensitive by itself (in a pleasurable way).
Circumcision is by no means beneficial unless a person has a severe case of phimosis that can't be cured with creams and stretching. Any hygiene problems proposed by pro-mutilation people can be prevented by a thing we all civilized people have called a shower. Just wash your dick, people.
Most of the world's men are uncircumcised and live their lives perfectly fine and healthy.
He's so legit that he talks about this shit. Maaaaaan, love you guy.
to answer your question: yes, unfortunately i know all too well that that can happen to a clitoris
April Jones your profile pic says it all
This is the most heroic story I've ever heard. 1 like = 1 respect.
I feel ya about that double tap
Love these stories man, keep up the good work!
Best fucking story teller on TH-cam
xPROxAuSTiNx thats FaZe jev
love ur story's keep posting them they make me laugh but we have these embarrassing injuries
Sure you can't tell your doctor this right away, but you can tell over 100,000 people this afterwards.
The balls on this guy....
You sir are a legend, no, A GOD!
I was laughing so hard that my Grandma yelled at me to calm down
And this kids is why I switch to Geico, in those scary hours of inflammation I got great car insurance fifteen minutes
Me : 'i hope no one know i am fapping'
Cr1tickal : 'let me tell you a story...'
My most embarrassing injury: It was 3 am and I was masturbating. I got a cramp in both my hand and my calf because I accidentally shifted the wrong way. I could have woke someone up from almost shouting because calf cramps are insanely painful
Derrick Rose approves this
Idk why but when he said "u know who u are, all seven billion of you" I cracked the fuk up it caught me so off guard jesus
I've actually had this happen twice
Barrett Long hot
In all seriousness, I'm just glad you're OK now.
🅱️Meat
I had a problem like that. It's alright, I understand your woes.
I love you 😂💗💗💗
We've all been there, man. Right guys?
Priapism! Not super serious the blood just didn't drain XD
Wow, you really know how to weave a tale with the utmost eloquence and excellence. Beautifully recounted, my friend.
Erectify, lol. You have earned your like.
Betty Crocker emails. The lifeline of the culinary world.
hmmmm interesting
Can you please provide visual representation, photo preferred, of how it recovered and look like now???
he didnt at one point tell us how big is really is, not even a before/after pic.
incredibely disappointed, dislike.
The fact that the video is DOOMFIST gameplay, of all heroes...
kewl
I've had this happen to me 4 or 5 times in my life. I never did anything about it though, I just said "Oh, crap, I should cool it with the masturbating for a while" and then just waited for the swelling to go away on its own before I masturbated again. Usually took a few days, but, I'm more the kind of person that either I need to go to the ER or someone nags me to go to the hospital, otherwise, I won't go and will just expect my body to fix itself.