5 toxic habits I QUIT to heal my nervous system.
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 9 มิ.ย. 2024
- I was stuck in survival mode most of my life. Besides it taking a toll on my health, relationships, and quality of life, it totally robbed me of the presence, joy, and contentment available to me exactly where I was. Turns out I was actually engaging in some really toxic behaviors that KEPT me stuck in fight or flight. Quitting these allowed me to heal my nervous system and find true rest.
Mentioned in this video:
The Ruthless elimination of hurry : amzn.to/3y6dVOG
THE NOURISHED MAMA COURSE| Learn how to breath L I F E back into your motherly body
Course page: jessica-demasi-s-school.teachable.com/p/the-nourished-mama1
Favorites:
Perfect Supplements: www.perfectsupplements.com/?C...
where I source the few supplements I take to support myself and my nervous system. I love their collagen/gelatin, organ mixes, and mushroom immunity. Use code NEWMAMAS10
00:00 Intro
01:05 MULTITASKING
03:30 UNDEREATING
05:30 HURRY CULTURE
08:10 SOCIAL MEDIA
10:25 CLUTTER
If you're new here, hi! I'm Jess and I am a former over-achieving restless soul that is passionate about helping women cultivate contentment exactly where they are, especially amidst motherhood. I post about slow living, minimalism, my faith, and holistic women's health. If you're into that, join me and a tribe of women looking to reject restlessness and step into joyful fullness by subscribing and joining the community. I'm glad you're here:)
Do any of these 5 resonate with you more than the others? I'd love to know!
Definitely the rushing, but also I interpreted it as just a lack of presence, which I definitely had with my kids quite a bit. Which was mostly due to depression. I wonder if you have anything to say to how that effects things?
Definitely for me!
Multitasking, Social Media ,Hurry Mode...
Totally overwhelmed by not getting things done by wasting time on YT , looking for that "magic formula "to cure my stress
Not multi-tasking is my new favorite. Doing one thing at a time is calming. And I feel like I get more done.
agreed!
Decluttering has been crucial for me. I used to fill every nook and cranny of our home with decor because I thought that was what I was supposed to do. Now that I have decluttered, I appreciate the empty spaces and it has given me room to breathe. Plus, cleaning is a lot easier when you have less to manage.
I would love to see a video on your 10 item wardrobe.
i agree! My wardrobe video is the next to drop:)
This is ME right NOW 😞.. thought it was JUST me… I feel like the years are flying by… it’s NOT.. it’s ME rushing to get towards my goals, then I’m out here looking for the next goal! But I’m working on slowing down and enjoying each day 🌺
Same!!! :(
The quote "Is you home a source of stress of a source of peace" really resonated with me. Also quitting multitasking is so healthy! As an older woman trying to recuperate from an overwhelming amount of caregiving stress and grief, these tips are VERY applicable at my stage of life too! THANKS!
The hurry culture. The programmed glorification with doing and busyness (busi-ness). Survival mode rushing and avoidance of internal feelings.
Currently off all social media. Do have to watch addictions on TH-cam. A useful tool in moderation. The Social Dilemma documentary I watched recently was quite telling. Grateful your channel popped up in my feed. Much love and blessings from Toronto, Canada.
I have to watch that one! I've heard great things!
You hit the social media thing right on the mark. In Johann Hari's Stolen Focus, he researches when our attention span started decreasing and found that it wasn't when phones came around, but when information started becoming so wide spread, not even computers, like newspaper, cars that gave you faster access to books, libraries etc. Even the invention and use of the lightbulb that allowed us to consume information through all hours of the night allowed us to consume information without processing it. It's not specifically technology or its contents that harms us (although it is that in part), it's the amount of information we're consuming.
I've been in survival mode for many years but lately I have noticed that when it comes to a meal I eat soooo fast like in 5 min as if I was timed and never did that before.. As for as social media deleting all that was the best thing for my anxiety.
The fast 💨 eating me too! 😑
Yep! Not rushing around allowed me to be present. I didn’t even realize I wasn’t present until I would have to keep rechecking things (did I lock the door, did I turn off the lights, etc). In the past, rushing around/packing my days/multitasking is what made me have to temporarily stop running my business. I also learned that rushing was a form of avoiding/running away from some internal feelings. Great video, thank you! ❤
so agree on it being running away from feelings!!
I'd like to ad nature to the list... Nothing so beautiful and calming to my nervous system as being in nature..... ❤
Not me, listening to this video at 1.5 speed 😂😂😂 called out 😅😅
hahahah omg
😂😂😂😂same ❤❤
Me at 2x lol
Ladybugs all dressed in red, Slowly strolling through the flower beds. How brave a ladybug must be! Each drop of rain is big as she. Tiny bug big Beauty knows how stop & smell the roses & just take it in🐞 ❤ 💪🏽
Thanks for the wake up call! It worked & im going to continue to declutter & slow down & not keep up with the Jones, I dont want to race in everything I do. I thought racing gives you a 2nd & 3rd winds & then you get the runners high... but i didnt realize i was putting myself in survival modes. Im going to be more aware of staying present.
I love the idea of being more intentional and I truly believe that clutter raises cortisol, at least it does for me. I also used to strive for productivity by being a multi tasker, only to realize that it feels so much better to do one thing at a time. There are also studies that REAL multi tasking is impossible, humans are unable to do more than one thing at a time actively, fully. e.g. typing and listening to someone: one of the two tasks suffers in quality when compared to doing those two tasks one after another.
So while I was sure to be so much more efficient trying to do more than one thing at the same time, I was doing them with less quality and of course not at all mindfully, just speeding through the process. Needless to say I am now in burnout and depression and slowly recovering. Now I am so much more intentional with what I spend my time on and how I do things. It feels so much better.
yes to this!
Okay so wow this is hitting the nail on the head. I need to heal it asap
I feel so overwhelmed. I feel so relaxed when I don’t multitask even for a day. 👀
LOVE! Quitting multitasking and clutter has been huge for me. Both are things that can be easily fallen into, but once you stop, it is a total weight lifted off of your shoulders.
The thing you said about nutrition is so so true. So many of us do not eat enough nutrient rich meals. I would literally in the past just not eat cause I was too lazy to cook. I wonder why I felt so lazy lol. Cause I wasn’t eating enough 😢
honestly though!
Yes! Your home is a "shelter for your spirit". There's a book titled that
Girl, I feel like I’m watching myself on the screen. I am on the same journey and have been since I gave birth to my daughter 2 years ago. Declutterred, minimized, and have been on the road to healing my nervous system. The comment about your mom having clutter sent me - because SAME 😂.
Love it. Gained a new sub 🥰
This is soooo me- an example would be responding to work messages/emails, whilst cooking dinner and calming my 3 hungry kids down after school.. whew the stress!
It's kinda good to see that there are so many people out there who struggle with the same feelings, but on the other hand it's also so alarming 🥲 We all need to be at ease more. And allow ourselves to take our time with things. It's easier said than done. It's so important to cherish your daily life! That makes up most of our days, so it's necessary to feel comfortable being with oneself and to care for one's own good. Very nice vlog, I'd love to see more of the positive selfcare!
Great video! I have already quit most social media (I love Pinterest though!), and it’s incredible the difference it’s made in my life. I no longer feel the need to buy things that I saw on Instagram, I’m not comparing my journey to anyone else’s, and I’m overall happier. I’m going to try the others now too, especially no more multi-tasking. I am really bad at trying to do all the things at the same time.
Yes! No social media was life changing for me
Hurry culture is so real and so not for me. I will always remember my ex husband would rush for everything mostly for work and it bothered me so much. I’m very slow maybe for medical reasons I’ve always been low in iron but I just like to take my time even though I work 9-5 I still don’t rush.
My low iron is what made me rush around sometimes. Because I knew I had finite energy. Lol. I started using iron patches (like how a nicotine patch works but for iron). That helped so much, but I still had to figure out how to pace myself after I had more energy. Haha
@@LilAnonymissinteresting! What patch Brad do you use if you don’t mind me asking?
@@mamabear4633 I like the PatchAid brand. I just get them from Amazon
I think when we really stop and listen to our bodies, we naturally want to stop all these things that we were meant to do
At least that's how it was for me. I don't think it's a coincidence that so many people seem to be quitting all the same toxic habits
Loved this video ❤
I also multitask, but I realized that because of my personality and my upbringing I always felt like I had to be doing something because my parent always wanted to see me being productive getting something done. I was not allowed to just exist. I had to be cleaning, organizing or helping with something. I now realize that I can simply do what I need/want. I can do things that I like or do nothing at all without being made to feel lazy or useless, I am an adult now. Although I will say it is hard because I find myself thinking that my husband is going to think that I am lazy or useless if I am doing nothing or if I’m doing something for myself like a hobby. I’m working on fixing this.
Nothing like childhood narratives sneaking up on us haha. My husband and I were actually just talking about how I should make a video on this. The things we carry from childhood and how it affects our home, definitely more common than we think!
Great ideas, I totally relate. Unfortunately, I found your advice after I raised three children, but it is never too late. Thanks for sharing.
I know I may not be the target audience of the video, I’m not a mom and I don’t have a family, but this video was extremely helpful and you helped me identify the different ways I was doing the toxic habits that’s keeping me in the realm of stress. Thank you for sharing this and I’m grateful it came up in my feed.
I'm grateful it spoke to you!!
I am 53, and have just implemented/began implementing all of these strategies into my life within the past three years. You are very wise to figure this out at a young age. Social media was the last one I implemented last month. I deleted FB (the only social media I had and used since 2009), and choose to get on FB, on my desktop computer, which is downstairs in the basement/family room. And like you, that’s not often. I am so much more at peace now. God is the only one able to handle knowing everything (omniscient) about everyone, at every time of the day and night, and be present (omnipresent) everywhere around the world. We are not created for that kind of pressure. I hope you reach many young ladies with this video. ❤️
could not agree more. thank you!!
One of the best videos out there . This is absolutely helpful. When tou described your state in the beginning it is my current state. I am so amazed that i found this video. I should have found this sooner
Im so glad you enjoyed it!
Lol, you stopped me in my tracks there as I was sipping my coffee, tidying my desk and listening to you on 1.5 speed. I rush from the moment I wake until I crash at night, exhausted and feeling defeated because I can only think of the list of things that I didn't accomplish. Thanks for this inspiration. I'm going to focus on slowing down, doing one task at a time, cutting down coffee and social media. I'm tired of being tired!
This literally sounds like ME! I am always in a hurry. When I was listening to this I was brushing my teeth and I noticed I was brushing as fast as I could and so vigorously! LOL I’m a stay at home mom and homeschool my three, and I am always in a constant state of “what can I get done?” And ALWAYS multitasking. And if someone is talking to me it’s “inconvenient”. So terrible! This video was so helpful!! Something else I struggle with is people pleasing 😅❤
I have a video planned all on people pleasing haha this is a real struggle for so many!
Not multitasking is a big one for me. I usually try to cram getting as much done in the shortest time possible which leaves me feeling anxious afterwards.
I agree with all of your tips. Slow down. Be still. Have peace. ❤️
I enjoyed this video so much. I was in therapy for over two years dealing with anxiety and one of the first realizations I gained from therapy was that I was so stressed that I no longer knew what stress felt like. Nothing stressed me out. Until I started having panic attacks and then the thought of having another terrified me. Now, I see such a value in slower living. If I could build a life that would allow for my family to 100% live slowly, I would. Unfortunately, my daughter’s school begins at 7:30 and the morning rush is a real thing. I hate this. Baby steps though. We’ll all get there in the end.
yes! And i think anyway you can bring presence and slowness throughout the day matters. It doesn't have to be all or nothing!
FEEL YOU on the rushing and multitasking. I feel like I'm constantly looking for little chores to do while waiting on other things, 'that's how the house stays clean!' But actually it's just making my house stressful because everything is a to-do. The times when I only do one thing at a time are so peaceful, if my social-media stimulated brain can tolerate the boredom of it. These are all things I've heard but you articulated really well!!
I'm so grateful it spoke to you!
This is the video and channel I have been needing!!!
This was the best timing for me to hear this! Such a revelation for me :) Thanks for sharing
You described my life in the first minute! Thank you for putting this into words!!!
Thank you so much for this
What a lovely video! Thank you so much for sharing
Wow, this is so relatable and helpful! Thank you for sharing
I LOVE your message! Every 5 habits are spot on! Thanks for reminding us to slow down!
Really good content! So relatable and helpful thank you ❤
Excellent video. I'm now motivated to explore all the changes you've made for my own life. I thank you! 💕
Bro this video hit my core
Also bathing instead of showering
Just subbed 🤍! I took the time to watch this video in its entirety and I must say it truly was cultivating and well worth the watch . Everything you shared related , closely as I need improvement in these areas as well. Love the tips! Have been using some of the tips shared only partially but realized it’s time to stop being lukewarm and give it priority. I love how you mentioned , you work towards these habits each day. It certainly isn’t habits that stick overnight but through daily practice until they stick. Thanks for sharing ✨😊!
I'm so glad it resonated!
This was so good 😊
These are all wonderful ideas and ones I need to implement!
This resonated with me ❤ thank you ❤ your whole channel looks amazing! I'm grateful to have found your videos 😇
I'm glad you're here !
this is really helpful ❤
Loved ALL of these. Made me want to purge some parts of my house. It’s hard to get started but I know it’ll be so good. Miss you on instagram but so happy to see a new video on here!
glad you are here gina!
I always mention to people that multitasking isn’t actually more productive for everyone . Some people don’t operate well like this (me personally) and everyone looks at me like I have 5 heads or think I’m lazy . IMO people are 1. Brainwashed to think it’s more productive like be honest with yourself are you actually good at multitasking. I think most people aren’t .
Thank you this is very thought provoking. You shared some really great points that resonate with me . I am someone that feels my value is tied to my productivity. Im a momma to 8 and I have been in fight or flight for 20 years , bo joke abd then I ended up with an autoimmune disease , so caring for our body and minds is crucial for survival.
I think a lot of women, especially moms, can resonate with tying our worth to your productivity. It's a hard thing to unlearn
Great video!
amazing vid! i love the phrase heart posture
I just came across your channel and I love the way you speak. I really needed to hear this :)
I'm so glad!
Omg this is so me 😩!! Finally time to start making small changes 🙏
Hi Jessica! Great video and also... GREAT course topic. I appreciate your insights and the way you broke it down. I definitely get the hurry culture and clutter!
Glad it was helpful!
Great video! Liked and subscribed and so excited to watch more of your content. One little piece of feedback: It very well could just be me, but the audio seems a little quiet. I'm trying to double-check if that's just something going on with my speakers. This video is so visually stunning and well-made. I really needed these tips!
appreciate that feedback!
Loved this video, and had to take notes❤ I'm a highly sensitive person, and the points you mentioned are really helpful for regulating our nervous system, thank you for sharing 💗
You're so welcome! I'm so glad it helped:)
Yes.
lovely tips 🩷
Thx best video i saw about this topic
What a beautiful video, you're a great storyteller! Thank you for sharing
Thank you so much!
Great video ❤, going to get that book
it's one of my favs!
I can relate so much with these video. I can relate with multi-taskig and the culture of rushing.
Feel like this video hace changed something in me.. or i found answers within myself from it. Thank you so much. Would love more of your wisedom in videos. Have a great day 🙂
Glad it was helpful!
great advice, i'm doing all of those as well
So good! Literally today I was working on doing one thing at a time. Maybe God wanted me to see your video. I've been working on all you mentioned except undereating. You are far ahead of me though. I've been decluttering for so long and still have too much in my way. I know that has to change. You mentioned so many good things! Thank you!
So glad it resonated! It takes a while! I’m still moving through parts of my house!
Yes slow living and whole foods is helping me
Hey,
I have been reading the book "The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry" -- Actually need to pick it back up but, I loved it. Thank you for your video xx
It's so good!
Was thinking about this today and then your video popped up. Thank you for articulating in your own way! Currently listening on 1.25 while cooking dinner so make what you will of that 🥴
😆
You have highlighted all five of my toxic habits. At least I'm consistent.
Watching this video was like looking in a mirror. Couldnt ha e found this at a better time, thank you!
You're so welcome!
I was multitasking by scrolling through the comments on this video. Will have to rewatch the video now. 🙃
hahaha
I’ve been struggling with anxiety for a long time. And where as I got number 5 down pat, the first four are a MAJOR struggle for me. Particularly the not eating and multitasking.
I think there's a lot of women that relate to you there!
Number three, hit right home for me. My child definitely was given to me to slow the f down.
This is super good content, thank you! (The volume was too low for me, FYI.)
Noted!
Trying to watch the video and not read the comments at the same would be a good start. The world isn’t designed for our neurobiology anymore. Sad times!
agreed!
Do you have link info to the study on multitasking?
Is anyone else having problem with low volume?
❤❤❤
Hi creativas vid
This sounds like me
I like you Jessica
Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom! I am actually working on a lot of these, too, but they can deffinitely be hard at times.
I just discovered your channel and I am getting EXCITED to see more of you!🫶🏼✨
One thing at a 🕙 ?but minimum wages 🆚 maximum Worries ? Focus 💡 NNN, mean , Nice Noble Neighborhood .
social media is actually killing me 🥲
it can have a negative affect on us for sure!