Ryan Lochte: I don’t speak to my mom
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 ก.ย. 2024
- Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte discusses his parents' difficult divorce, and how it impacted his family. Lochte struggled with his relationship with his father during this time, but has since reconciled. Plus, Lochte on the conversation that ended his relationship with his mother, and split up his family.
This show was recorded in accordance with CDC COVID-19 safety guidelines. All crew tested negative before the production.
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I respect that he dosen't go into specifics. The pain is genuine. He has boundaries, which I respect. You are watching a person with class.
You had to read between the lines and add the dots. Dad seemed like he was cheating on Mom, Mom had the kids turn on Dad, Dad remarried and now Ryan considers Stepmom the best Mom. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure this one out.
😂 class??? Look up Lochte in Brazil
@@jomc3 that was a long time ago
@@sleepymage7165doesn't matter if it was a long time ago He still lied
@@dehende07did he? Specifically tell me what he lied about it? His problem unfortunately is that he’s an idiot. From what I see he’s a good guy though
As most therapists will tell ANYONE, the two major issues 70% clients they treat for are called mom and dad. Most of the long term emotional issues stem from childhood issues related to parents/guardians/family or childhood emotional trauma.
My mother - the gaslighter
And this comes from a therapist?
@@maxithebello read a book and learn about it....
When I went into counseling 20+ years ago, it was initially about a bad breakup. 2 sessions later, it turned into mom and dad. And that's when the floodgates opened.
So true and most addiction issues stem from parental neglect of children emotions
I understand Ryan. My mom is the same. She’ll never apologize for the awful things she’s done to me. It’s despicable.
Our moms are human, with all the faults, frailties, and confused feelings that come with that mortal state.
@@JordanPAT And humans apologize when they eff up and so should this person's mother. I think the bible went overboard with the 'honor my mother/father' stuff but didn't put in a contingency for when your parents are assholes. My mother in non-specific words said 'I get to treat you like crap but you have to honor your mother'. Yeah, NO.
I'm so sorry your mother never validated on what your feelings. It would brake my heart not to be able to speak to my children or grandchildren. I would apologize and validate their feeling, because I may not see it the they did/do, BUT that would not be a hill that I am prepared to die on. My children and grandchildren are everything to me. And why some parents can't see that, I just can't understand it.
@@moreofawave Try the Grey Rock method. It will help you gain control of the narcissist and prevent them from destroying your life.
@@JordanPAT Thanks, D. I am currently trying the "I blocked on my phone" method and that's working fine. :p Don't have another family reunion until Thanksgiving if she says anything I'm going to ask for an apology for the last time she treated me like shit and if she doesn't have one for me I'll just go back to the 'block' method. She has more to gain talking to me, than I do talking to her. Normally, I just let the shit she says/does to me go but I am not ok with that right now.
My mom was a nightmare my whole life. I forgave her but I never forgot and had to alienate myself from my entire family, because she choose to be the martyr. I tried shutting my mouth and letting it be, I spoke up, I got angry, I tried being nice, nothing worked. In the end, she made her choices and had to live with them. I made mine and have to live with them. I walked away at 32 and have not looked back in over 16 years. I wish things were different but I have a family to take care of and a life to live and she choose not to participate. She is gone now and I said a prayer for her passing and try to do better. That is all.
To each his own
I hear ya.
I know exactly what you mean, sometimes you have to walk away.
😔😪😥
You're describing my life pretty much. You gotta find love/support where you can. Sounds like you've done that🙂
My mother is very much like this. She feels that she can say and do whatever she wants and I just have to take it and get over it. In over 25 years I have not once heard "I'm sorry" come out of her mouth. I still talk to her, but there's not much love there. It's very hard, but it's something you eventually make peace with and move on. I wish Ryan and his family the best.
This is how both my parents are, can't wait till I'm able to leave in two to three years. Waiting patiently.
She's your mother get over it
I had to teach my mom how to properly apologize and to this day I’m not even sure if it’s sincere.
It's funny how we hear that women apologize too much. I've seen the opposite, in my experience.
I hope u don't end up regretting this when u become a parent yourself and ur mom is no longer on this earth
Lochte is trying to pick his words carefully and diplomatically. Which is what you do when describing dysfunction in your family of origin
It's also what you do when you have things burried deep down..
I agree, he didn't really want to automatically say the wrong thing, then regret it later, like many other people seem to do.
You're the expert in disfunction
Korey Paul YEP. & I know this.
PeaCe&ReSPeCt, Shelley
100% growing up I feel the same way.
Both of my parents let me down. My grandparents raised me. I just try to be the best mom to my child
❤
Yo go girl! Kids are everything.
@@mattz8775 thanks! I’ve just always tried to look at life on the bright side. I am glad to say I’m blessed and I do well for myself. If you look at my life it’s a blessing I’m where I am today.
Bitch yes! That’s all you can do. Just care for your child love your child. Love your kid the way your parents didn’t love you. I don’t talk to my mom or dad to this day.
Respect to you ma’am! My dad used to beat my mom physically on a regular and she still raised us in that household, didn’t want to seperate because of us the kids. I really think he hit a woman because his dad did the same to his mom. But I will never do that to my wife
This explains a lot. I know how he feels. I cut my mother off in 2011 and my life got better. It's sad but you have to move on for your own physical and mental health.
You may have been better for cutting your mother off, but from Ryan's facial expressions, that is not the case. Too many traumatic changes have occurred in Ryan's life at pivotal points for Ryan to be okay. This is the Ryan Lochte that lied about being robbed at gunpoint in Brazil during the 2016 Olympics . When in fact, Ryan and friends were drunk and destroyed property at a gas station. Ryan's career continued to spiral out of control from that moment on.
It hurts a lot at first and the guilt and shame is real.
Yes, it’s painful, and you mourn. No one says it’s easy, but it might save your life.
@@TaraHower hellz yes. Cutting off a parent doesn’t mean you cut off your whole family, but in reality that’s often the case.
I moved out of my mums hse 15 yesterday old never returned im 35,,, no I not answering her calls enough of drama mother that's it
Not all women who give birth or the men that fertilized their egg(s) are good parents. They can procreate, takes a big person to really parent.
Very true. I'm a 37/F and if I ever want children, I will 100% adopt or foster to adopt. It's just hard finding a man who shares the same beliefs. There are enough kids out there who need true parents that weren't born to parental types and in unfortunate circumstances that they can't break away from. Also, a very interesting 23andMe result later in life also taught me just how little blood factors into the person you become.
Procreation doesn’t equate parenting.
I agree but what about spoiled ass kids
Nicely put!
I think it sucks to not have great parents but if you get parents that just....procreate. That don't seem like they are meant to "parent " in any real way
(unable or unwilling)
The journey becomes something else.
🤔 How can I best parent my young self and thus, my own babies.
Welcome. 💗
I am a woman of a lifelong suicidal mom. She completed suicide eventually when I was 39 . My son 9 at the time. .She was 59 and her own mom....79.
Traumatic? He'll ya! But the gratitude I have now for finding myself and giving myself what I clearly didn't get.( safety stability unconditional love...) is irreplaceable. I live a full life with presence and love because of and in spite of my struggles.
💜♥️
@@savinabees9220 well said. your words are very powerful and you carry with you such a positive way of thinking. you could definitely and easily have pulled the “i have an excuse” card to play right with the cycle of parenting you were raised around… major props to you for not blaming yourself for any of your Mom’s (or other family members) life choices or anything and choosing to parent in a way that you definitely seems to be 100% different than the childhood that you received. I truly hope that you are proud of yourself for the life choices you have made and changed for the better - if I was your kiddo, I’m be so thankful you came to this realization that being a truly great parent takes sooo much more than just the bare minimum. Kids are so self aware to what’s going on around them, even if they are still to young to even express themselves. Hell, I remember being about five and realizing I was the most emotionally mature person in a room of family members, which is sad looking back. I’m sure you can relate. Keep on keeping on down this positive track, girl! Much love from Kansas City! ❤️
Poor Ryan. On the surface he has it all, good looks and great talent, but such a troubled soul. I am glad to hear that he is healing. All I ever wanted from my own mother was an apology, but it's not possible for a narcissist to do that He realizes it too. We just have to get on with our lives. I wish you all the best Ryan.
Yes, that's true for most all of us who are born to a narcissist instead of a "mother" who is actually capable of love and empathy for their child. There is some freedom to learning they'll never be able to give an authentic apology, and to know they they were never capable of loving you no matter what you did or who you were. Narcissists are very damaged, emotionally arrested people.
Agreed 🗣U never get closure from Narcs
I went through this type of thing also. I am so much better for it. This isn't a mom thing or a dad thing...it is a person thing and you can make choices to be happy. Who is in and who is out. Live your life with goals for happiness.
@@lifesabeach3424 The "maternal archetype" is a woman who's always sacrificing, supporting, loving, and doing for her children. In reality, though, our moms are human, with all the faults, frailties, and confused feelings that come with that mortal state.
@@lifesabeach3424 True, but staying in an abusive relationship is not healthy.
I cried just with his few words. "She never apologize..." I felt his emotions
Apparently, women do not apologize and that includes moms - and that comes from experience.
Interesting…he sounds like a child as he speaks about this topic. His facial expressions and tone indicates severe pain and hurt from his Mom. He is happy now, but the child in him seems to still kinda care. I wish you the very best!
He sounds like a child? We are all children making pretend we are not. Dont be silly. Humans fear responsibility.
that's because he never grew up. he still acts like a child in his thirties and getting into trouble. he's going to have a hard time adjusting to his older years, especially with this unresolved baggage.
@@wincrasher2007 maybe to your standards
No he just knows this is gonna be viewed by millions of strangers and doesn’t really want them to know the specifics of his family’s private life and past. He’s choosing his words carefully. Also obviously just uncomfortable talking about the subject, has nothing do with his sports career.
He seems scared here.
I’d crawl over shards of shattered glass to set things right with my children. They’re the light of my life. I can’t imagine a life w/put them. ☺️🥰😘🙏🏻
My dad abandoned me when I was 6, came back into my when I was 18. We had a rocky relationship from 18-25. I am now 28 and haven’t talked to him in 3 years, haven’t heard a single word over text or call from him.
To hell with him. You are his God given gift and he treated you like s**t. Shame on him. You deserved better. May God bless you always. 🙏🏻 Lodie.
@@Utahtruckguy I’m so sorry. It isn’t your fault.
Amen to that!
Thats the way it should be
This is parental alienation and it is real. It is also so hard to talk about as an adult child.
A lot of respect for Ryan speaking out on his family turmoil. Time heals all wounds. Some wounds just take longer than others.
Weird...like watching someone's therapy session. Seems private.
Yea this is gross
No one's forcing him to say anything
@Mike O i meant to send that in the direction of derek, i believe
@Mike O youtube sucks now
At least it ended on a high note...
I had the same problem with my family, I feel him because at some point in your life you just have to say I don't care and move on and be happy.
Leave, it’s not worth your sanity.
Can’t agree with this thread more 🙌🏾
@R S123 That "guilty" feeling can be overcome. It comes from the gaslighting and abuse. Once you break free and begin the work of healing internally, the guilt will go away. Go no-contact from them and be FREE.
@R S123 God bless you when it gets down to you or them survival instincts take over and then you will feel free to escape..with your life.
His wife is The Woman in his life now.Sounds like his mom crossed a sacred boundary she shouldn't have crossed.He has to protect his lil family from toxic people!!!👍🦋
That happens. I endured abuse from my family all the way into my forties. When my children were old enough to be harmed, the door slammed shut and stayed shut.
I respect people that have little patience for crossing boundaries. I have been working all my life to set boundaries and I still get a hurt stomach when I stand my ground and protect myself.
I never knew this and I appreciate him speaking about this. My sister and I stopped speaking to our mother in 2015 after decades of abuse. It's still taboo
man hearts out to this guy and his family, family can be tough to deal with
Guy has balls coming on national tv airing All this out 2020 needs more balls
I dont talk to my dad or my sister. It was hard at first super depressed but years later my life is so much better. I spend weeks happy as can be rather than waking up everyday feeling like shit
I dont speak to my parents and sister either. It feels like a death.
@@RhondA11 yes. Because in essence, it is. Grieving is a process but if it was for the best, in time you will recognize so.
Tracy G thank you 🖤🙏🏼
I haven't talked to a certain family member in years, and it's never felt hard. There was very little to grieve by that point.
Wonderful young man
Wounded to the core
I can relate
Bless his heart
I haven't spoken to anyone in my family since 1973. Do I miss them? No. I miss what it should be like or could be like but its not and never was.
Good for you! 👏🏻
Well said
How did you accomplish this?
@@unknowntosociety01 You accomplish it one day at a time. When you are caught up in a dysfunctional family the only way to stop is to remove yourself totally from the dynamic. Is it hard? Yes. But soon weeks turn in to months turn in to years and you have your own new memories with the life you have created for yourself. Did I wish any of them harm? Absolutely not. But I realized one day I could not survive around them in any reasonable way.
His inner child is so expressive, it's gut wrenching. Some questions were too intrusive. I wish they could heal with time n realize we are only human - all of us. Mom, Dad, Kid... that's just a title given to souls who all have histories, problems n need to forgive.
How could the questions be "too intrusive" when he agreed to do the interview, no doubt knowing that would be a major part of it.
@@judithrandall4690 Questions r generally approved by the interviewee ahead of time, so yes, he was aware. However, when you see someone beaten up why give him that extra kick in the gut? He may have known the questions, but he didn't realize his reactions would be so intense,
@@judithrandall4690
“What did she say?” Unnecessarily intrusive and I don’t think he was expecting that. I’m sure he just knew that they’d talk about the topic but not the questions specifically
This is almost EXACTLY my story. God bless you Ryan, thank you for speaking out about this.
Mine too, waiting for an apology I know will never come
Same brother. My mom has no empathy. She almost killed me as a teen(won't detail on that) betrayed me. She has no regrets
Sometimes life is harder than the Olympics.
For real
Well said.
Correction: Life is always harder than the Olympics. Olympics come and go, but life continues.
I love videos like this, because we get to see these celebs raw and unfiltered. No matter how much money they make or how famous they are, they are humans nonetheless and we should treat them as such. It's easy to be envious of famous folks because of the life they are perceived to live, but I think there are many ways in which their lives aren't so "glamorous". Much respect to Ryan Lochte
Childhood trauma is always at the core of all our issues. I had the same type of parents both like his mother. I went no contact from them permanently. They have since died. Not phased.
Chairs look uncomfortable
Sure does
Graham needs to get a Z Gallerie contract and get the leather on the road.
NYCzora interesting observation.
If my kid needed an apology , I would be willing to give it and work over things
Well that’s what he says we don’t know her mother version.
I don't know the full context of this interview but I am not a big fan of the interviewer. Ryan was clearly in pain and the other guy seemed to be more interested in the amount of views this would get than the raw, emotional questions that he asked Ryan. The interviewer did not seem genuine. But I fully respect Ryan for being so vulnerable. He is very strong
Agree, but he was there to be interviewed in depth. He politely declined not to speak, then I believe it was therapeutic he did touch on the subject, and moved on. All is well.
Agree Maya. The story is more important than the person. What a shame.
@@arthurmiller9434 “The story is more important than the person”. In that one sentenced you encapsulated my exact feelings towards this interview. Bravo.
That smile at the end really touched me. When he was talking about his mom, he has no emotion. He probably gave up. I can relate to what he is saying and it really hurts. I am still waiting for the woman that I want to build a family with to show up in my life.
Best of luck mate hope she’ll come soon 😁
Wish this guy the best. Good for him.
Prayers to him. American hero
People on the outside don’t see what goes on in the inside. Never criticize someone making a decision like this.
my narcissistic mother won't apologise for any of her wrongdoins ever. that's why i stopped talking to her 6 years ago.
Such a little boy quality in this virile and awesome athlete. Great interview!
It’s so hurtful to carry around sadness and anger. It just drags us down. Kids need love and to feel they are loved. We never really get over it. Some parents are fine just not talking to their kids. I dont get it. I could never not see my kids or give them love. All we can do is be the best parents to our kids
All parents are doing the best they can. Unfortunately a lot of times it's not good enough. Family dysfunction is generational.
@@brianwalsh1401 its about love and they are lacking..
@@ariloves10 Yes. Maslow's 3rd level of the hierarchy of needs is love, affection and belonging. Before we can love others we need to love ourselves. You can't give away what you don't have.
@@brianwalsh1401 I can halfway agree because I have seen spiteful hearts who had love, but rejected it.
They chose hate.
As for belonging, its a mixed bag of nuts in USA with almost everyone from another part of the world feels less than.
If you are a have not, you hate the haves.
If you are brown you hate white.
If you are poor you hate rich.
If you are sad you hate happy.
People need Jesus, or they get seduced by the devil, and then hate, sickness and death overtake them.
Nothing to see here but people throwing their families away to fulfill their own selfish desires.
It's easy to say that when you have decent kids. Some people aren't that fortunate; despite being great parents, their kids grow up to be horrible, toxic people.
This made me tear up. My mom is a narcissist too and was not too thrilled when I announced that I was having a baby (after trying with my hubby to get pregnant for a year). Now we have 2 kiddos that she won’t get to see grow up.
My three girls are 20, 17 & 15 and they have figured out that grandma is crazy.
Tommy Jakob Yikes! How do they deal with her if you don’t mind me asking. After my first one was born, we thought things would have gotten better in terms of relationships, (because he is the first grandchild for my parents;) but it never did and I never understood it until now. I’m sad that the kids won’t get to know their grandparents, but it’s for the best.
@@chicaarana1164 I live 300+ miles away in another city, so it is just phone calls. Whenever there is any communication, they are polite - not fake, just polite. My oldest is away at University and my middle one is very easy-going. My youngest is the comedian of the family and has sass, so phone calls are quite funny.
Yes, it is a shame your kids won't have a proper grandparent - grandchild relationship but sometimes what you will see is neighbours and friends will be the uncles, aunts, grandparents, etc. they never had. You have done NOTHING wrong. You have done THE most RESPECTFUL thing.
There ARE angels among us.
Same here.
Wow, she is toxic which means you don't need her around you and your kids.
The best thing that can come from the empty relationship with your mom is a better relationship with your beautiful children. She is the one missing out and shame on her for that with the years and life under her belt. We aren’t always dealt with parents whom love us unconditionally and want nothing more than to be part of our lives in positive ways. You and your wife Ryan, can break that shitty cycle and be mindful of how you raise and handle your children. What you will get from that is a beautiful loving Relationship that is real, and accountability is abundant. It’s always perplexed me on why it is so hard for some people to apologize when they hurt those they claim to love. Whether or not they feel you are hurt by them or not doesn’t matter, if anyone tells you they are hurt that’s all that should matter. Thank you for opening up and sharing a bit of yourself. Prayers for your beautiful family and that you always stay together in love. ❤️
I feel uncomfortable with graham digging into this guys personal life for views when he says he’s uncomfortable talking about it
Graham has always been a bottom feeder pretending to be an Italian boy from the Bronx.
I’m glad I’m not the only one.
Nobody put a gun to this guys head and made home do this interview
He is a grown man and chose to do this interview
I don't think he's inappropriate or pushy. I enjoy his interview style
Maybe, but this really helps other people who may have similar experiences, like myself. It's helps to hear I'm not the only one who doesn't have this perfect family and the most loving parents.
My father went through a very serious depression and tried to kill himself. He swallowed thirty pills. I was 21. When I asked my mother what could have happened and caused him to want to do away with himself, she responded by telling me, "Well..YOU didn't actually HELP the situation".
I carried that albatross for YEARS thinking it was all my fault. I remember the night before he tried to kill himself, I had gone to a baseball game and accidentally left the lights on in the car. Battery died. Had to wait for AAA. Was late coming home.
I always imagined what would have happened if he actually succeeded. His death would have been my fault.
It was only years later that I realized that it was a chemical imbalance and NOT me.
It's horrible that there are such awful people, who are supposed to be family support, out there.
I'm so sorry. That's an awful thing for anyone to say.
God bless you
We have to focus on a new family and leave the past behind. I am so sorry 😞
No way someone’s actions are your fault. I’m happy you realize that now. ❤️
Your mom is a monster for saying that to you. It was never your fault.
Go years without speaking to my children!!! That would brake my heart!
Man it amazing how many people are suddenly licensed therapist when they watch a TH-cam video. You guys give amazing diagnosis and great analysis of a person who you don’t even know after watching only 5 1/2minutes of him talking vaguely about his story!
👏🏼👏🏼They're called internet degrees, and they're rampant. One week a therapist. Next week nutritionist. Then Child development. And so on.
Ty Pate you had me in stitches with your comment. Spot on!!
@@LadyEowyn 😂😂😂😂😂 you are too much.
So spot on, yet here we are doing the same thing we are accusing others of doing… 🤫
@@marcom6089 how do you figure that? People making assumptions about him without any evidence to back it up based solely on what they think, is nothing like reading those assumptions they’ve left in the comments (what we call facts, evidence, or proof), then without having access to his thought or feelings (something that is a non debatable fact) they presume to know what he’s feeling or thinking.
Maybe next time champ 🤫🤡
Family disfunction and wounds that are going to stay unhealed...a tremendous athlete with problems many can identify with. He seems like a sensitive regular guy and not like repackaged commercially...very honest.
I’m a divorced mom and took a lot of abuse from a narc. The kids still love him, as he buys them with cars and homes.
I felt this so much. My mother also posioned me and my siblings against my dad and also said some really nasty things about my husband, even trying to break us up. It got worse when I was pregnant with our first child and I just had enough.
Sorry that you had to go through that. Hope that things are better for you now.
People who always try risky ways (like harming others) to try and achieve what they think they want, are typically always feeling weak from struggling in the mess they can't extricate themselves from. So they exert control on other people they think they can still have a hold over. If we ever are targets of this kinds of abuse, always remember that our job is not to continue to struggle and submerge, but to break the web of trouble that is spun around all connecting these issues and emerge to start your life anew.
Wishing you good luck with life, you've got this.
Good for you for cutting off the toxicity. She sounded miserable.
We are not obligated to hold a relationship with anybody who is toxic to us, including family. That folks feel the need to force it on us because “hey, it’s your mom....” - doesn’t matter, there’s no entitlement. As I told mine and other toxic folks, I can love you without exposing myself to your negativity. I am at peace with that decision. And I am a mother, when folks tell me I don’t understand I’m puzzled. My mother should want me to be happy. (Edit was to correct a typo.)
For me it was my aunt. We were close because we'd both been through a similar life changing experience but she can't keep the drama out of her life and would constanly get high or drunk and send the most horrible messages. Had to cut her out of my life. I still care about her but can't have anything to do with her.
You're selfish..but your mom is probably relieved that she doesn't have to deal with you too.. LOL
@Vonnie - We’re not put on this earth to judge and you know nothing about my situation to qualify such a statement. I will hold you in prayer that kindness towards others finds your heart more quickly than judgement.
@Red It’s a difficult process, for sure. I wish you well.
@@gd3944 ..I have kindness in my heart, I'm not like you.. I talk and even take care of the people who were not the best to me!.. that's where we differ, I try to comprehend why people are like they are.. even in the end when I may not understand I don't shut them out l, I figure I haven't walked in their shoes and they have done the best with what they know!.. I could never imagine never speaking my parent again..but heyyyy you be happy ok 🤔🙄..LOL..
THANK YOU FOR BEING HONEST RYAN!!!
this guy actually WAS held up by what seemed like random men, screaming at him in Portuguese, demanding money from everyone at g un point. the media did him dirty. he did _virtually nothing wrong._
It was so blown out of proportion
oh wait this is the guy who lied about getting robbed in rio?
he did get robbed because he got drunk and knocked down a sign and had to pay for it, then the media blew it out of proportion
Platinum Pineapple He made an international incident out of the situation by saying he got held at gunpoint. Locte has always been known as an entitled prick amongst the swimming community.
William Cowell yea cool he still cool tho and a insanely talented swimmer
Platinum Pineapple WAS a talented swimmer. He done.
@@platinumpineapple9943 lol nope. he's done!
I shut my mom out of my life as a young adult. As I grew older while raising my children I realized that Parents are also human beings who are put to incrediblely higher standards of behavior and have little room for failure, having a bad day or just plain falling down..I have since reconciled with my mom, we hashed out all that past stuff and are now very best friends...
Wise of you
Wish I could do that. But mine decides to threaten suicide when I put up boundaries. Then tries to protect her husband who is inappropriate around my kids. Reconciliation will never happen for me. And my step mom just died. I have no mother.
That was your situation and that’s wonderful that you had a different perspective once u put yourself into her shoes and were able to reconcile. I think many of the folks here though unfortunately have had situations in which they’ve been treated like a doormat by their parent and couldn’t take it.
@@SupernaturalLove100 IMO I believe that our newest generation are emotional wrecks, they are offended by everything, and tend to be narcissistic, they will have a hard life b/c many have decided to not forgive but instead hold grudges, and instead of god in their lives, they value self-image over anything
I sort of hate to say this, but I can't watch this, Ryan comes across as so dimwitted, can someone explain to me what apology he needs from his mother?
pretty brave to say all that on camera, good for him, i hope he is happy thats all that matters, but yeah felt like watching a therapy session for sure!
This proves that you never know what is going on with someone. I'm glad that he is happy now.
i can relate to him. i also dont really speak to my mom because ive found that not speaking to her make my life healthier, easier and happier. Shes just doesnt have a capability as a mother and i dont think i have ever received some kind of warm maternal love from a mother tho. Shes always in the house (shes a housewife) but i never felt her presence. I also dont really talk about it much with my husband, i just live my life on my own and im happy. My relationship to her is just im thankful she gave birth to me, gave her money and shes grandmother of my child but thats it. Hopefully i dont repeat this pattern to my children.
God bless you 🙏 we can break the cycle by being aware of our family disfunction and consciously breaking the pattern 🙏
I feel sorry for him. My mum is a narc too. It makes you go through hell
I LOVE AND ADMIRE RYAN SO MUCH! A TRUE AMERICAN OLYMPIAN SWIMMER🏅 🏅 🏅AND GREAT ATHLETE! SO HAPPY FOR HIM THAT HE HAS A BEAUTIFUL WIFE AND TWO GORGEOUS KID'S. WISHING THEM THE BEST OF EVERYTHING ALWAY'S AND FOREVER! 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏🏅
Why are you yelling?
I’m sorry his mother is missing out on her grandchildren, and I’m sorry they are missing out on their grandmother. It’s a special bond and these years fly by too fast. It’s time to put hurt feelings aside and reconcile while they still can.
His mother could do that if she chose to. He pretty much openly declared that all he’d want is an apology on behalf of the nasty things she said abt his family once he announced a child on the way.
So sad….I hope he can heal from this pain. She obviously has and doesn’t care. Let evil people go. Best thing you can do. Move onward and upward.
Thanks for this video. I’ve been contemplating on cutting my mother off all time and this gave me the courage to do it, starting today. I literally relate to everything he said.
His language and mannerisms are very young...as if he’s a teen.
Exactly what I thought.
true
Right!
He feels vulnerable and thats ok..
@@ELLIOTTARMY I don't think the implication is bad. It's just not what you'd expect from someone his age. However, as we all know, tramua is difficult subject for most people. You can tell he's trying to be respectful to his parents. That adds to some of the awkwardness. Not bad. Just slightly awkward convo.
Good luck Ryan Lochte. Nice interview.
What a deeply profound and thought provoking person and interview
Families are fun aren’t they sometimes? Family can be some of the most toxic people in your life. It isn’t your family that defines you-it’s the choices you make beyond them that define you. Ryan did what was best for him and his family. One day his Mother will regret what she’s missing out on-even if she doesn’t admit it. It’s sad how family can treat one another. I’m glad he’s got someone that stands behind him and partners with him for a better life beyond toxic family members. We should all hope to have more people like his wife in our lives.
Ryan is not a bad person. He just made stupid mistakes. His kids are going to make him proud 🙂
It took 40 years but I don't speak with me mom either. Children want to forgive and love thier parents, so it's not an easy choice.
“Everything I was getting feeded”
Yeah Lochte looks good, but boy he’s really stupid
Stupidity has nothing to do with using poor English. You’ve demonstrated that in your post.
There is a man who has been treated like garbage by a narcissist. Never ask a person like that to repair a relationship. You should know better.
Definitely one of the best chanels on YT
Agreed!!!
Yes absolutely!!!! Graham is quite good at this.
Graham is incredible. Huge huge fan.
Not really, but ok.
False
Mothers can be sick, have personality disorders, and ruin their child’s lives just like anyone else can. It’s very sad but it occurs. I have had a similar situation with my mother. She’s very sick and has absolutely no insight. It’s the worst when the person with the personality disorder is also uneducated and lazy/unmotivated. It’s almost like a trifecta. They also don’t seek help because they’ve never realized their so ill.
R S123 I’m a bit older now but while in my 30’s (now late 30’s) I often stayed with parents and still do stay there from time to time. Things will continue and worsen if staying the same household with someone toxic and insecure. Best bet is to do what I did, move out to the best of your abilities and then visit back home or stay home occasionally and when she has her flares you just leave. Unless she can seek help which I assume she refuses to.
Every family has a level of dysfunction, some substantially more than others.
Bitterness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
That's simply your interpretation and it is by no means accurate. Its a part of life. You work through it given you can find the right people, tools and healing mechanisms.
A life full of pain will come with bad feelings. Its Just that simple.
@@robyndismon394 bad feelings cause a life of pain? I think not. Try bad decisions. Good day to you.
@@BillyN31 you missed the point completely.
He and phelps are my Idols i live them.how could some people say he lied in this interwiev?! Look at him he is just one of the stronger men Ive ever seen
Best swimmer. Period.
damn Graham, you don't have to know every gritty detail
Right, graham needs to chill the hell out.
It’s an interview that’s his job 🤔
No matter what my mom said, I understood that she needed help and reminded her, that I love her. That always softened her and reminded her. Sometimes, we are the parent because we have to be,
My mom was a junkie. And she wasn't probally the best mom. But she really was a good human. But I miss her all the time. Wasn't her fault really. It hits harder when they're gone.
You are here and the sun still shines. You survived. Stay up
Eye 2 Eye same situation with my Mom, she’s been gone 7 years now
You sound like a good person, and someone who actually learned from a bad situation. Your thoughts about your Mom are probably VERY comforting to her as she watches over you now.
When women turn their own kids against their father,
it creates a hole in their heart that will never go away.
Is it just me or does this dude look AND sound like Sean Penn?
More like Sylvester Stallone
@@michelebergman4336 Yeah, I get a lot of Stallone from him too.
I cut my two older brothers off 6 years ago after one beat me to a pulp, oldest just died I did not go to the services nor will go for the other and my life has been so much happier
There's SO much unspoken here. What was the "truth" that made him want to punch his dad in the face? What made everyone take sides? What did his mother say that ended their relationship? it's clear that Ryan doesn't want to reveal any of that, and the squirming makes for some really uncomfortable television.
@David Pumpkin Probably not. But now that it's being discussed on TH-cam...
Exactly. Yet people are on here calling his mother a narcissist! Lot of drama loving people in the comments projecting their own issues.
Gosh.... This is hard to listen to. I was raised by a widowed father and memories of my mother are shady and dim. But a significant memory is of love and togetherness. Pa spoke well of our late mother for the rest of his life. I was on no doubt that I was born of an enduring love and a close bond. Through all the tears and anger of a motherless youth, that knowledge brought a smile and smoothed the path.
Friends whose parents divorced (and now nephews and nieces in the same boat) do not/did not have that security of knowing they were born of an enduring love and seeing the example presented daily on their formative years. That is a sad, sad thing. Good interview. Sad, but good.
Emotional heaviness
I empathize with Ryan. It takes courage to open up and talk about this. I'm in a similar situation & I have depression. My mother never sincerely apologized for her mistakes & she would start keeping scores of all that she had done for me and my brother. She would make it look like we're being ungrateful for calling her out. My mom had a stroke years back & I stayed with my dad to help him take care of her. I know that if I left, she would be the death of him. I could say that I just don't love my mother anymore. I'm grateful for everything she had done & for bringing me into this world but I just don't have the love for her. She's narcissistic. I'm staying for my dad.
God bless you and your family, Ryan. ✌️😌
I as a mother of a son that age..can’t imagine ever saying anything hateful or awful to him. To hurt him or his family is unfathomable. To be estranged from a child would absolutely kill me.
I'm sure it kills our mothers as well, but they still say what they say.
Been there. I find that people have to apologize first in order to be forgiven. Took a friend to call me out on constantly trying to save a narcissistic mother. Every story is different but the tragedy is permanent. Sad but true.
Sounds like once he got rid of the toxic person which unfortunately was his mother he is happier!
His mother sounds like a narcissist, so he made the right choice in going no contact. I wish him and his family well. He seems like a really nice guy.
There's more to this story than meets the eye. I want to hear his mother side of the story.
We know this dude lies and doesn’t make good choices so I also would like to hear the mother’s side too.
Is funny how society doesnt the same thing when women go out crying victim, hence #BelieveAllWomen smh
His wife modeled for playboy
As a mother, I would tear off my right and left arm before I would hurt my children!!! As a mother she needs to set things right!!
No one deserves to go through what he did. How can someone be this horrible to their son. She sounds awful
@ Beeski ... How? She's not unlike many people who harbor resentment and bitterness. The mother's negativity keeps her in bondage so much so that she's estranged from Ryan. Her loss. His gain. No one needs to be around a cold, bitter person with an ugly spirit. Glad he bonded with his father's wife. That's likely what has his mother in a snit. The mother lost. The father and Ryan and the new wife gained.
J B i’m making the same point as you are, not sure if you read my whole comment
Way more common than you think. Atleast he's got many millions to pay for the best counseling
? We don’t even know what she said or her side. Jumping to conclusions and projecting much?
@@PeepersT she clearly bullied him and his wife and said she’ll never apologize. She sounds like a Grade A narcissist. Projecting much?
Splitting is very common in dysfunctional families. Making one parent the evil one and the other parent the good one. In reality no one is completely innocent.
True but occasionally you get someone who is 90% at fault. Usually a narcissist.
I think he has a giant amount of emotional issues. I dont know if he is medicated or not but he seems so. Hopefully he comes out of his troubled past and finds peace within himself... he sure doesnt have it in this interview.
Men have a hard time talking about their feelings let alone it being on national video. When he said "I haven't really talked about it" means, this is the first time expressing his pain, which is a big deal. Divorce really damages a person more than a person who never experienced can imagine. He's not medicated, he's super uncomfortable talking about his feelings and his body language is showing that because he's not an actor who knows how to hide their body language and fake the funk.
@@iKeto_gal good point
@@iKeto_gal nailed it, good job
First of all, he's never been good at talking in interviews. Ever. Add in that he's talking about something really deep and personal to him, I don't blame him for taking his time being careful with what he's saying
You're medicated Roger..
Lochte is his mom twin! May God bless him and his family. Hopefully one day they can heal and be together again. Sending prayers your way!
I actually met his Mum when I was on holiday in Cuba, she’s seems like a lovely person. There’s always two sides to every story as they say
I agree. She always was there for him and now he just humiliates her on national TV. Look on the commenataries here people do believe she is a terrible person. Good on you Ryan to make your mom look bad especially since you know she would not go on TV to tell her story about you and your wife. Some things should be kept private especially when it's your mom who raised and supported you through everything.
It’s crazy that we don’t know what she said or her side of the divorce or sons relationship but people are calling her a narcissist and terrible person. I’m just going to say that this dude is a known liar and bad decision maker so I’d wait to hear from the mom before swallowing his bs.
@@PeepersT 100% the thing is, she didn't go out of her way to bash him at all. In fact she was hesitant to even mention who her son was. Anyone willing to be put in the spotlight for what should be a private issue, clearly don't have the best intentions
@@mariaermides That is so sad. He's not a good son.
Words matter! My stepfather was Cuban he was the worst at what he said sometimes hurt me I did not think he loved me but his dad was pretty abusive wirh words too. He just said he did the best he coyld. He got a very loving person my mom unliti guess his mom or dad. The world is hard. There’s always time if you are still alive. He thought she would make ir to 95 haven’t seen her in like 30 years but called every week. She died at 94. Stubbornness is a killer.
I can totally relate to him - my wife and I went through the same thing even when we were dating.
I cut both of my parents out of my life 4 1/2 years ago and don't think that relationship will ever be repaired and like Ryan, I DON'T CARE ANYMORE. My mother-in-law has been more of a mother figure to me since the day I cut them out hence why I call her Mumsy...my biological mother is a stubborn narcissist who hated that she couldn't control and manipulate myself or my wife and then said and did a lot of very hurtful things that I to this date will never forget let alone forgive. The other significant thing about this: she won't apologize for anything that she said and made it very clear to everyone in my family that I was the problem the whole time and she made excuses for me my whole life.
But the best part of all this: we've both moved on and couldn't be happier with the lives we live now
Forgivness isnt supposed to be easy, a grown up that has more growing and spiritual maturity to learn, im old, my best memory, i sat at the death bed of both my parents.
Ha, as if someone with spiritual maturity would be so small minded, judgemental and miss the point like that. And really, a whole life and those are your best memories? How odd, were you just thinking about the inheritence?
@@lonelylantern9135 maybe he meant his best memory because he got to be there and comfort them in their real time of need.
The most bittersweet moments were between my Gramma and I at the end. It is raw and real. It is life and death. It is final.
he IS happy. look how he looks when he talks about his family.