I Share My Husband with 2 Other Wives (Maasai Marriage Story)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 มี.ค. 2021
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Yayai is part of the Maasai tribe, one of the largest and best-known African tribes. One of the Maasai traditions that continues to live to this day is the custom of polygamy (or, more specifically, polygyny). As someone with a European upbringing, I've always been taught that a successful relationship can only exist between two people... But that's not how everyone around the world lives and thrives.
I've decided to ask Yayai about what marriage is like in her Maasai culture, and she really opened my eyes to the fact that there is no single recipe for a good relationship (except, maybe, to respect your partner!). I'm hoping you've also come here with an open mind and without judgment - because even if you may not agree with someone's way of life, you should always find a way to respect it (if they're not doing anything to harm you).
I also know that there's a lot that I will never find out about, and of course many other socio-political issues at stake here. But it is not the purpose of this video to discuss them at length: this video is merely a small dip into the idea of polygamy in Maasai marriage, and that's the scope of it.
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I asked my wife if I will bring home a second wife where will she be? She said “at your funeral “...
Omg Thats too funny..
Haha... lol
My African wife said the same but jokes on her I actually dont wanna be with her 😂 so if funeral is the only way.... than so be it... lol time to get a 2nd wife 😂😂 when I jokingly said those words she started crying
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
She's smart! 😊
"Whatever you were raised with, that becomes your truth." was my biggest takeaway.
Yes!
That woman is wise.
The Truth is the Truth regardless how you were raised. The Truth is and there is a responsibility of everyone to find it when adult.
Well, there are few objective truths in the world. Human society is diverse enough to easily imagine many truths existing for many people, especially for subjects like love, marriage, and companionship. Establishing a uniform morality not only results in widespread unhappiness, it is most definitely self-destructive.
*Your* truth
They see marriage primarily as a familial and social relationship. Not a romantic one. She's happy to have new female family members. That's why she's not jealous.
This has nothing to do with beeing jealous or not. She should shut up because if she wants to live like a servant let her. But don't bother other people with your insanity.
Many hands make light work
The first wife she is lovely and always smile. She thinks simple. we can see a beautiful heart showing in her happy face
The first wife has full of wisdom. I like her voice and i like how she explain culture differences.. Amazing woman
Of course.. First wife is a nice women..
Yayai is a very pretty lady with a beautiful heart. She radiates an aura full of sincerity. She has wisdom
too.
*This seems like a slowly creeping divorce. Facetime, Intimacy and household status drop as new wives get added.*
*Older women are treated like livestock and put out to pasture when no longer fancy enough.*
*Lessons to be learned here are get an education and register to vote.*
It's true
what is so amazing about it? Is that kind of an invention or something?
The first wife is so softly spoken. She seems like a beautiful soul.
Thats what I thought :)
Yayai 💗
She is sooo beautiful ! What a statement of and for her Humanity !
Nice and truh sayed
Real patriarchal societies make for happy women.
Yayai is an extremely intelligent and wise woman, she has explained the Masaai way of life in a very insightful way, easy to understand yet profound, especially what 'ones truth' is based. Wow
How many times she talked about Being Together. This is the foundation of Africanness, that "I am because we are." Being together means everything for us.
I envy you guys. People are so lonely in the Western world, we must be doing something wrong.
Hello dear, you are saying you guys are united, but its not true , If you really are united you wont let your corrupted government lead you and control you. You know why Im saying this?! Because where I live ( Iran) they also brag about being each other’s backbone and support each other and bla bla and we still let our corrupted government lead us and we are never united to take them down… rethinking is good 👍🏻
That is beautiful because a lot of times as an American I feel very alone. Second wife no! as unfortunately I would be jealous. It’s always prettier, smarter, better in US. Women are compared not valued as a whole 😢
@@quinncreel6091it’s a lie, many of us Africans like to lie to the west that we are one united big family. It it’s further from the truth we aren’t. We are selfish, greedy and rarely think of another African as one. Many are lonely and die with no one caring. Europeans are just smart enough and isolate because they know humans aren’t trust worthy. Many Africans live together but rarely in peace, they is a lot of jealousy, hatred and witchcraft. I prefer the west, it’s lonely but peaceful
She is amazing. The way she expresses herself, her smile, the way she moves her hands......she's absolutely beautiful.
@@GirlsLikeFairies why not many husbans for one wife?
I agree
@@opinanlosjovenesrd3477 many reasons on why that isn't good idea.
@@taayyiba like what?
@@taayyiba I beg to differ.. It'd be a great thing
Stephanie mentioned how much she adored her mother in law. I can see why. She is everything Stephanie said. Wise, kind, loving.... and very beautiful.
I’m a new sub binge watching here and love the channel. Is she married and does her husband travel with her? Very curious on those two big items. Thank you Alex and
Hope you answer!
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, then. Good luck with that.
Looks like grits
Eyes of the beholder only if it’s human and it’s not corrupted by a Possession.
Could you imagine 2 nagging wife .one is to mutch
The first wife is full of wisdom, I can say rhe family is strong and peaceful because of her, her wisdom is amazing.
“We grew up not knowing jealousy.” Beautiful. 💜🙏🏾🌏
What would a man say if it was the other way around? THAT'S THE ACID TEST!
How wonderful would that be? To not feel that.. ❤
@@AngieJames4172 It's very unlikely there is never jealousy in these situations.
Im sure nobody is Jealous for the kind of Men our Cultures had before...
Well, considering they don't get to choose the men, why would you be jealous when you don't even love your partner that much anyways.
I remember watching Stephanie's documentary where she talked about how much she loved her mother in law. After watching this I understand why, the woman is beautiful inside and out♥️
Yes! She is beautiful. I wish my MIL was like her. I remember how Stephanie cried describing her kindness.
She is beautiful inside and outside
My mother inlaw has been my best friend for 40 years. She taught me so many things about cooking, sewing,knitting, painting, canning. So many things & she usually said " if you want to learn it just do it yourself." I was so pissed off I did! I had helped her a bit so I guess the rest is easy. My father in law was a great man as well. I told him I needed my sofa reupholstered. He brought all the tools over & showed me how to remove the old material .He took some measurements the next day ,he put all the couch & loveseat together with beautiful dark gray velvet. It was sharp ! I did learn how to uppolster ,and it was not as hard as I thought. RIP Joey
you tend to attain a lot of wisdom when cut off from the electricit and ight bulbs and tv and internet
Yaassss I loved watching her documentary
I remember watching one day a western reporter telling an african woman that back in England she and her husband could only have eachother. And she was like: "you have to put up with a man only by yourself? I wouldn't want that". And all the women laughed.
I Guess If u ar married to a man just cuz your father told u to And then "learn to love him" (or to tolerate him), u ar glad u can get rid off him by having another wife And companion. That's the difference. As the lady said, young Massai started to choose their life partner and polygamy changed too.
Good one
Also, I would like to add that Maasai women practice FGM Wich May effects their sexual pleasure. "Being with a man" can be suffering rather then joy.
Lol
Wa lad..
I could listen to the mother in law for hours. She has such a calm way of accessing the question and it's essence and then goes to the heart of it and explaines her views and feelings so well. I can totally get how it would be a great experience to have someone like her as a co-partner to talk to and spend time with. If she is like that without a camera too, she is a treasure as mother, spouse and as grandmother. She is at the same time very much in love with her culture and way of life, but also accepting of other ways for other people and aware of the change happening. I hope she is and will do well and teach that compassion to many of her kids, grandkids .
Satan speaks with a calm and soothing voice.
@@itsshrimpinabag9544 Sounds like a christian problem.
Beautifully put. She has wonderful peace in her wisdom.
@@itsshrimpinabag9544The last thing you should see when you look at that beautiful inside and out woman is Satan. Your loss.
This was absolutely beautifully captured. Yayai is so beautiful and endearing. Her smile and laugh is infectious. I could listen to her speak all day long. Blessings for sharing this beautiful look into their way of life and family!
When Yaiyai says “what you’re raised with becomes your truth”.. it made me really consider what my truth is.
The truth will stay the truth, no matter how you are raised..
@@mnoorlander9205 what's your truth about marriage?
And if our “truth” is our own or the “truths” that were imposed on us by others.
@@DaniHMcV truth is whatever makes sense to you. And that's subjective. The human mind can do so much. But it's limited. And there are concepts foreign to our cognitive faculty. We can only own our truth and choose what will make the world a better place. Truth is to love spread kindness, and help another person feel a little bit better.
@@Kenny.n no matter what my truth about marriage is, 2+2=4. Even if someone is raised that 2+2=5, the truth stays that the answer is 4. There is a moral law where you can measure wrong or right. No matter what you were raised to believe in, the standard stays the same otherwise it couldn't be a law, and we could decide ourselves what is wrong or what is right. And then our systems of courts and prisons can be erased because no one can say to another person that he or she is wrong or right.
The first wife is stunningly beautiful and her smile is magnetic.
east africans are beautiful
Exactly I also like her
Women there all look like crusty old bald men, we must not be watching the same video lmao
@@dvilsadvocate1498 what do you mean?
I thought so too!
If a woman never loved you how can she get jealous? It will be like wanting her to care for what she couldn't be bothered about. It is like living with your relative, no passion at all. I can see why she would want this set up, I would too if I was never in love with the man...would even suggest it to him so he leaves me alone 😆 🤣.
Exactly. People speak so much rot in order to justify their culture or life choices.
"Being in love" is not a prerequisite for marriage
@@Polygyny imagine confusing the act of jealousy to marriage. Where did I say that?
Love and jealousy are not the same. I have been with men that are extremely jealous and never loved me. Jealousy is ego problems combined with insecurity. I am very much in love with a polyamourous man and I'm not jealous at all.
When I was younger I didn't feel jealous and at that time wouldn't have mind an open relationship but men in our western culture get weird about it they want to put you down, lie to you and compare you to other women and that's where jealousy and hurt forms where you rather keep one person to yourself then share them so you don't get self compared, mistreated and ignored just like sister wives, perfect example. I am happy it worked for them in their culture, but I don't think it does here in America where we have access to technology such as the internet and multiple people.
Stephanie is really cool. I've watched some.of her other videos. She's so emotional about respecting the dignity of the Masaai. She helps women make reusable sanitary pads and wants the world to buy them
THAT'S NOT GOOD NOT HEALTHY AT ALL.
I truly love that part of her. Western societies tend to think they know better but often forget that other societies have a different path of progress and development and sometimes in an attempt to "help" end up doing harm and distort the harmony. I think Stephanie understands that very well.
Don’t have a problem with plural marriage, but a father forcing his daughter to get married, I have a problem with that. I am glad the custom is changing to allow them the choice to choose.
I used to think so too. But how else will these women survive? I think their fathers put a lot of thought into finding husbands that can take care of their daughters and be kind to them. Of course there are no guarantees.
I just want to share my story because now this is a big problem here in the UK for many women: My ex husband married me but he was talking to girls but he still married me, he didn't provide for me then after a year of marriage he went Pakistan and got married to another girl, then he divorced her. After sometime he got a girl pregnant, he told her a big bag of lies about me and this Muslim girl didn't know about me but he was still with me. I found out and got divorced but he was cheating on her with other girls and she was pregnant, moved her out of London so she dont find out about me. SubhanAllaah
Now my husband lied and tricked me into polygamy marriage, I cry and I'm so upset how a man cant lie and trick me into polygamy marriage SubhanAllaah. The other wife dont know about me, he moved her out of London Tooting area to Blackpool in 2019 summer time, so I dont leave him, now he tells me their is no wife "Sakina", I said because you moved her to Blackpool so I cant tell her now and the wife didn't even question him, the mans moved you out of London SubhanAllaah.
I'm warning you sisters please!!!
Be careful sisters, dont trust noone. Most Muslim brothers have other girls and that's how it is nowadays SubhanAllaah. My was husband had me and her then he was talking to other girls for marriage, he didn't tell these girls he was married with children.
He was talking to girls online and his family took him to see other girls at their homes "CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT" you know your son is married with children and your taking him to see other girls for marriage SubhanAllaah.
Alot of guys are married or have secret wives and secret girlfriends and secret children SubhanAllaah Ya Allah so please be careful, be careful. I cry so much because I love him, unconditional love Allah swt put in my heart for my husband.
Now I'm suffering with mental health issues, emotional abuse too because he was married I got a infection from him too from him having sex with the wife and that's how I found out he was married to another woman SubhanAllaah. The wife still dont know about me Terrible. Warning th-cam.com/video/mkJF6G-I-Cg/w-d-xo.html
@@JahannamHellfire Stop following a belief system that encourages this crazy drama and behavior. Your husband is a fraud. Too bad that you love him. He clearly doesn't care. So understand that he isn't returning your love and is fine with harming you. He isn't on your side, he is your nemesis. Put your faith in the Christian God and ask for help. Pray. Pray. Pray. Pray that God will turn your husband's heart toward good. Or pray that God will open a path for you to leave and follow a destiny that is pleasing to Him, that is to say your Godpath. Ask for this in the name of Jesus and you go to the front of the line. Just sayin'.
Kings and queens did it all the time, even married relatives, or like in Princess Diana’s case Charles wasn’t allowed (a grown man) to marry the woman he loved because she was divorced.
The birth rate between males and females is 50:50. So when men take multiple wives they run out of women and start marrying children. And because the birth rate between males and females is 50:50 some men miss out entirely and don't even get one wife. So, polygammy is selfish.
I love that “first” wife, she is so kind and intelligent......long life and much happiness to her and the family
Not intelligent but kind
@@celinadilaraislek4297 Don‘t confuse intelligence with education. I‘d agree with @Deborahlee Edwards and say she‘s just as intelligent as she is kind.
@@user-hl9hz5sq7v okay
@@celinadilaraislek4297 Why do you say that she's not intelligent?
@@cindys2995 because the way she thinking makes her stupid
This family presents a lovely picture. My guess, because the Masai are made of human beings, that not all families are this happy. One thing not mentioned regarding changing culture was how FGM is being practiced less frequently in the Masai culture (thank God!)
This was really nicely made! It had a much more gentle touch than most journalism in this area would normally have.
Ah so it’s basically living just to follow a lifestyle rather than truly be in love. She doesn’t feel jealousy because she was married off and accepted it. To each their own but I wouldn’t want that for myself. She seems happy though.
She also doesn't feel jealousy because of the lax sexual competition amongst the wives. Many of the tribal women undergo fgm, against their will of course, dramatically altering and/or outright killing their own sexual desires. These women are not competing sexually, one against the others, rather working at maintaining such workloads and expanding families.
@Polygamy not for me! My Choice I don’t think so. I think she is genuinely happy. Her happiness comes from her friendship and sisterhood with other wifes, not marriage. She didn’t choose him, she was married to him and it’s kind of ‘job’ to her not love in our way of understanding. But you don’t need a man or husband to be happy, I hope you now that. So she’s happy with her friends and life.
I don’t think so. I think she is genuinely happy. Her happiness comes from her friendship and sisterhood with other wifes, not marriage. She didn’t choose him, she was married to him and it’s kind of ‘job’ to her not love in our way of understanding. But you don’t need a man or husband to be happy, I hope you now that. So she’s happy with her friends and life.
@@mamamarianovits9029 it is not a feminine trait to compete sexually, western women compete sexually because they've increasingly incorporated masculinity in order to access the patriarchal systems. You call it FGM for women but a very high percentage of men are circumcised in the west, would it be wrong to refer to that as MGM? Do you have a theory on how that has shaped your relationship dynamics? Or do you prefer to be one sided in your observations.
She seems to love her "co-wives" more than she loves her husband. She is a woman who was happy to have friends in a traumatic situation.
I saw in her previous video how much she loved her mother in law and how close she felt to her. I totally get it. That lady is just such a calming presence and she seems like such a nice soul.
Does she mention anything about her view on massai marriage ?
Like if she would accept her husband to get a co- wife ?
I would assume she is not interested in that in the beginning. I just wonder if her opinion has changed after living there for 9 years .
@@Ahoooooooo what previous vid?
The difference in the West. They are call girlfriend.
@@Ahoooooooo She said in a video she hopes her husband will not have another wife, however it is difficult because her husband's family are pressuring them for more children, and people were commenting the family most likely also wants some "pure Maasai" children as well... I hope for her sake this won't happen.
@@leroymyrick801
Nö . ... sind im Westen keine Callgirls.🙄 Schreibt grad wer her.
Aber meinte er.....und er hilft Ein- wanderern......
Männer die mehrere Frauen haben, sind oder wären dann ja Callboys, meinte er weiter.
Er hat schon vielen Einwanderern geholfen und sie mögen ihn
When I think of widows in the West, and how many are so lonely and inconsolable, the Maasai co-wives would be an awesome comfort to one another when their husband dies-they are sharing their mourning with one another!
Plus they have 21 children between them.
🤣 🤣 🤣 Funny how people in the advanced, civilised western world? are craving and yawning for nomadic and primitive lifestyle...
I hope you can say so when it comes to Islam permitting marrying up to 4.....i say this because it has many aspects into it & it solve a lot of problems & not only for widower but also for those ladies who can't simply find men who want to marry them but don't mind making them pregnant & leaving them to raise kids in their own.
This makes total sense, especially from what Yayai explained. The distance of these bomas from each other also contributed to this way of life. Yayai couldn't imagine living with one man and 8 kids, miles and miles away from everyone else. So the large family basically becomes your community without having to seek our any one else.
Plus imagine trying to raise 8 little kids with no adult conversation out there in the wild, until husband gets back home in the evening
@@dorakaysinga3115 so instead they have 21😏 and then you wander why afrika is poor and people starve
I love these ladies!
And Stephanie's mother in law is such a light...a true gem❤️❤️❤️❤️
There's no jealousy because I think in the first place the marriage was arranged/ forced. But I think If youre free to choose, it's not easy to share hahahaha
Right!!!
@Prin Cesa
The mutilation of the female sex organs has a lot to do with it as well. If a womans desire is killed, there is little to be jealous, spiteful and petty over.
@@mamamarianovits9029 love should be higher than lust.. from the start there's no love. But I still admire the first wife for accepting that set up.. (if only she has freedom like Stephanie)
@Prin Cesa - Great point!
That is a cultural thing... Like arranged marriages. People that come from cultures with arranged marriages find western idea of "looking for a partner" terrible. "I have to court.. a girl????????? Can't my momma choose a good wife for me????". Pretty much like westerners find weird that parents have SO MUCH to say in the marriage. Some people though prefer the other way round, so you'll find westerners that get themselves a wife from abroad and easterners that move to the West to divorce. Polygyny, the man-many wives model, is horrible to westerners because young girls are forced into marriage. How to make a non-monogamous situation work is beyond many westerners anyway, as they believe in "Two people that stay strong together"...
The truth is that humans are not meant to be monogamous. We can build our culture around the idea, but having multiple partners in a lifetime is actually the most natural situation for us (biological pov). The legal pov often says else though and too often limits women up to making sure women are controlled.
The best thing I can see in this video is that she doesn’t even look at the container while milking. I milked the cows for 5 years and never learned that trade. I see it magical.
And in such a narrow-necked container, too! She's got some serious skills.
100% !!
And the jug hole is small, our milk buckets wide brim
She radiates contentment. I found myself smiling with her. Peaceful soul. Great video.
Yayai has more wisdom, happiness and very likely to live a long content life than anyone in the western world❤
Certainly more wisdom and contentment, than any black in the American ghetto or TV, or congress, or Martha's Vineyard!
wisdom certainly, happiness is debatable.
@beatrice4584 what evidence do you have of her unhappiness?
Obviously they don't talk about the 3 letter word. How do they feel about that? Who gets the husband when? What if she wants some attention but he's going to other wife? So many questions left unsaid. I haven't ever believed in polygamy and come from Mormon background. Never for me
Right,,, she is going to write a book to pay for her retirement,?
Yayai is a highly wise woman, wise the way she asked questions back, it stimulated thought process from different perspective.
It's called the socratic method of teaching.
I just like the first wife so much. There may be a language barrier but I can tell her spirit is sweet.
I respect you so much for coming down literally, and immersing yourself in a culture that would easily be looked down upon. Even a day stay im their residence is really appreciated!!
This video is very significant, very important. We have much to learn about the broad culture & traditions of humanity. Thank you for producing this so well!
The first wife is so adorable
I salute her as a woman ..she's one of a kind ..
Exactly
You made my point!!
@@justinamusyoka4986 1
she has such a nice voice and seems to be very intelligent as well.
@@alflerran3536 Great voice and great laugh.
If they don't know jealousy, then why is having co-husband "not possible"? Yep. Pretty sure your husband knows EXACTLY what jealousy is! 😏
Well because once the woman is pregnant she couldn’t do her responsibility with her other husbands... imagine having to birth every year from different husbands... but also imagine the children not knowing who their real biological father is... theres no certainty with lineage
@@lisarey1969 She has 8 kids now, She can easily give 2 kids to each of her 4 husbands. It's possible for her to have 20+ kids If She wants to. Not knowing who the biological father Is might be a plus as they can take care of all the kids indifferently (on the opposide to Some polygamous marriages). Even thouth it's more common to practice it among brothers rather then strangers.
@@ayohitmanbangintroduceshitit Depends what u mean as "productive". If "productivity" Is just to have As many kids possible, then yea. If productivity means taking care of all children well and get out of poverty, no.
Because she didn't choose her husband
th-cam.com/video/mMcKh9LmSYU/w-d-xo.html
This is some good quality content, much better than a lot of the stuff I watch online. And she summarised it perfectly at the end that this gets us to see a different perspective on how family structures can work. Thanks man, I really enjoyed this.
My husband partner is one of the many things that I don't share, including my WiFi and toothbrush
Ur WiFi ? Wow
You not sharing wifi tells what kind of person you are.
That made me laugh so much 🤣
You stingy!
@@StoleMyEdgePodcast Just cautious
Yayai is the absolute perfect ambassador to represent her boma for this interview! She's so beautiful, with that thousand-watt smile and mellifluous voice and sparkling laugh, and she's eloquent and wise and funny....what an amazing person!
YES...SHE IS A AMAZING and beautiful !
She was so graceful and eloquent!!!
Yaya is soooo foxy, soft spoken and talented. I’m married to one man and total opposite of Yaya. Black gal living the dream in Oklahoma. Who woulda thunk it!
mellifluous/ thanks for the word
I was just thinking what a beautiful and humble woman. Love how she blushes at some of the questions regarding the wives!😊
I like Yayai smile and laughter, she's a nice soul.
Truly happiness is a choice! Look she was forced by her father to a stranger but she decided to be happy! Her smile is as beautiful as her heart.
The first wife is a lovely and an amazing person. You can tell she truly loves her co wifes. She's got my full respect
All these people agreeing (falsely) with this woman are hypocrites. They would literally divorce their husband if he did such a thing.
If she does not accept the other wives, what she can do. She has 8 kids and skill make income to support the family. She is told this is life and accept it the way it is.
@@peterpiper487 respect other cultures. You cant force your values and culture to the whole world.
@@peterpiper487 But they're not living in her culture.
@@kucinghitam9793 She is forced to take whatever they offer, it is not called culture. it is oppression.
She eloquently expressed herself. What a beautiful human being, inside and outside.
Mhm!
I know you mean well, by that, but that is quite demeaning. People all over eloquently express themselves, because that's a norm and not a feat.
@@paulalecq388 what I want to say about this is that I simply admire her way of conveying her opinions in such an open and eloquent manner. I'm one of those who find it hard to express themselves fully so I just love her expressiveness. It's really not about anything else. I was actually suprised that it would be taken as demeaning.
@@paulalecq388 p9
Hi - I spent time with the Maasai, in Kenya - This was back in 1973, before you were born.. What lovely, lovely people...
I can see why Stephanie adored her mother in law so much! I love her too! I want to meet her and tell the all the mothers in law out there to be like her. I want to hug her!
Mama Yayai ❤️
You're the best,Hope to meet you soon
if its not a love marriage there is no jelousy. In fact, it might be nice to „share“ the burden to satisfy the husband. So you love the other wife too. Thats what i am thinking. All wifes are in the same situation. They understand each other.
If they all had a choice, that would be fine. They don't.
@OrganicOrganist That assumes that the woman isn't the one who loves the other woman the most/first. I'm talking about relationships where ALL of the people care about each other. And I'm not strictly talking about women either, there are good relationships between 3 or more men that exist. Basically, all of the people in the relationship are in love with each other. Children, when they exist, are loved by all because they're raised by all. I really do mean that they have a choice.
@@cbaelz120 thats something else yes, then in this video, thats by choice and love and you can leave if you want to. Nothing like girls married off. Like the first wife said she cried and went with it. Sounds like a nightmare.
@OrganicOrganist I don't think you're getting the notion that a woman can love another woman and a man can love another man. You're assuming a relationship where the man decided to have more than one wife. I have a friend who is in a fantastic relationship of over 10 years now. Her partners are both men. There are relationships with more than two same sex partners like the threesome of men whose names are all on the birth certificates for their children. And you're also dismissing people who don't want children which is a great number of people these days.
There are also studies that show that parents usually have a favourite child so should we limit parents to only one? I can easily list the order of favouritism from my mother for the four of her children. I'm at the bottom, but guess what? I KNOW she loves me, she's just closer to my other sisters. There's nothing wrong with that! The amount of love once you reach a certain point doesn't really matter that much.
@@linaulnes8821 That's pretty much what I said =)
It’s all cool and intriguing until you see firsthand the stories and realize that many of these girls get married off
at 10, 11, 12, 13 to men who are triple quadruple and even 8 times their age.. just got back from a mission trip to Tanzania and the Maasai and it’s truly heartbreaking when you meet 12 year old girls with babies slung to their backs :/
Exactly! It's still very male dominant and I feel sad that these ladies don't have their own voice, can't voice their own opinions on who they want to marry. I guess that's another way of combating jealousy. I can't ever imagine sharing my man with anyone else. As if he's the last dude on earth! If he wants another "wife," I'd rather leave the relationship. Usually when your spouse wants someone "new," it means you're an old toy and he doesn't want to play with you anymore. First in, first out. And here I thought Hmong ppl were bad for allowing polygamy!
Thank you for raising this problem. And even if the daughter is an adult, it is never ok to force people into marriage. Things might have turned great for this particular family, but it doesn't mean the entire practise is beneficial for all.
But the first wife said that things are changing and the girls can choose their husband and are not being forced to marry.
Yes, very true
It's part of the masaai culture and we are proud. You white people just like making africans feel bad about our culture and traditions
I just heard of Stephanie‘s story from @Peace Love and Om‘s channel and I‘m so excited to see more!
Really cool to see how quick she is to laugh. Thank you for sharing!
The first wife reminded me of my grandmother. They way people from rural areas have the power of accepting their situation and adapt to it.
But you're Chinese?
I guess one can't feel jealous where there is no love in the first place.Just relief that you have co-workers to help out.
Spot on!
This oneeee
I just want to share my story because now this is a big problem here in the UK for many women: My ex husband married me but he was talking to girls but he still married me, he didn't provide for me then after a year of marriage he went Pakistan and got married to another girl, then he divorced her. After sometime he got a girl pregnant, he told her a big bag of lies about me and this Muslim girl didn't know about me but he was still with me. I found out and got divorced but he was cheating on her with other girls and she was pregnant, moved her out of London so she dont find out about me. SubhanAllaah
Now my husband lied and tricked me into polygamy marriage, I cry and I'm so upset how a man cant lie and trick me into polygamy marriage SubhanAllaah. The other wife dont know about me, he moved her out of London Tooting area to Blackpool in 2019 summer time, so I dont leave him, now he tells me their is no wife "Sakina", I said because you moved her to Blackpool so I cant tell her now and the wife didn't even question him, the mans moved you out of London SubhanAllaah.
I'm warning you sisters please!!!
Be careful sisters, dont trust noone. Most Muslim brothers have other girls and that's how it is nowadays SubhanAllaah. My was husband had me and her then he was talking to other girls for marriage, he didn't tell these girls he was married with children.
He was talking to girls online and his family took him to see other girls at their homes "CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT" you know your son is married with children and your taking him to see other girls for marriage SubhanAllaah.
Alot of guys are married or have secret wives and secret girlfriends and secret children SubhanAllaah Ya Allah so please be careful, be careful. I cry so much because I love him, unconditional love Allah swt put in my heart for my husband.
Now I'm suffering with mental health issues, emotional abuse too because he was married I got a infection from him too from him having sex with the wife and that's how I found out he was married to another woman SubhanAllaah. The wife still dont know about me Terrible. Warning th-cam.com/video/mkJF6G-I-Cg/w-d-xo.html
When she was married she was a young that's why she didn't feel a jealous also this was long time her marriage
@@JahannamHellfire sorry
Beautiful content of introducing a bit of Maasai culture. ❤
Super interview very clear voice and picture. Love the fact that you let the one being interviewed speak.
If the women weren’t forced into the marriage I’d be more accepting, instead I’m just happy that they have found peace and happiness in their lives in spite of that situation.
Lol u come with the western toxic attitude "if they werent forced into the marriage "uts not you why do u have to be accepting ? Ur acceptance means nothing most importantly they sre so happy
Lol stfu nobody was forced keep your western feminist trash logic to yourself
@@documentariesinchd3070 you did not listen to the first wife saying that now it's different and girls are not forced to marry and they can choose their husband. She said the new generations are not following old traditions.
@@mmconceicao I did hear that, but she was also expressed that she was saddened by the loss of culture lol. If the young women are allowed a choice, then they definitely won't want to participate in forced marriages 🤷 they're just people like us, obviously.
@@documentariesinchd3070 This whole video was about learning accepting another culture's way of love. Voicing my opinion won't change anything but I'm allowed to do it anyway. If you have something better to add to the conversation I'll be glad to respond but if not, I'll simply ignore it.
The punch line is, "We grew up without knowing jealousy." How so sweet.....
"We grow up without jelousy" but then She made a big face when they asked her If She can have another husband :D Would be interesting what her husband has to say about jelousy.
Indeed spectacular
@@ponderingspirit It's hard to judge how it works based on 10 minutes interview. These women were raised to sacerfiece, being the property, exchanged for cattle. They ar "happy" as they couldn't choose any other life, So should they suffer or reconcile And accept their destiny? It was necessary for their survival to submit. But u dunno what they went or ar going through. There been a documentary about polygamy in Iran, everyone was saying how happy they ar, but the reporter was there for a whole year and documented how much suffering those women went through. If they feel no jelousy, the reason might be that they don't find the life with a man enjoyable at all. Besides marrying a man not of their choice, Maasai practice FGM Wich may affect their sexual pressure. It could be that they ar very happy to get ridd of their husband. So they can enjoy the community aspect of living with other wifes and kids, but not the marriage itself. Reasons for "not being jealous" can be quite bad. Young Maasai, who got more freedom, prefer love marriages and monogramy, why?
Didn’t believe that part at all. It’s natural to feel jealous.. it’s a human instinct.. nothing wrong in feeling jealousy... I’m sure they feel jealous too but didn’t wanna say it to the camera.. didn’t wanna admit it
The wisdom is in the fathers choosing their daughters' husband'.
Warmth and love are a large part of the the Masaii culture, I enjoy seeing them live their lives. We all have different ideas about what romantic relationships look like
So like many cultures in Africa, the women do all the work in a society, so many wives are "necessary".
I really loved what Yayai said, which really sums it up nicely. "Whatever you are raised with, that's what becomes your truth."
Rather, pushes one into deep denial, because one has no choice... Denial vs despair
yeah tht was a very mature thing to say.
@@purelove8972 your opinion
Can't agree more!!
And that actually hit me aswell..
We think what we live is the ONLY Truth, Bt actually it might be a small part of the whole picture..
I think she actually went one step further. She understands the difference in culture and does understand both worlds, when she speaks about the younger Maasai. She sees the advantages their old lifestyle had and prefers it. But she does not condemn die young ones who know our way of living from the internet.
I remember Stephanie have said in this old video about Yayai, her first mother in law, that she is so marvellous woman, now I understand why!!! SO great personality and this supercalm voice of her!!
Wonderful video, simple and direct...!...Eva, thanks for sharing..!
When she said "they grew up without knowing jelousy" ❤ such a pure heart they have. I hope we learn from them❤ not knowing about jelousy.❤
It’s good to see such private tribe willing to open up to the world and share about their lives no matter how they’ll be judged.
I think their family dynamic seems happier more wholesome and safe than life here in the us.we could learn a lot from them.
She actually looks happy🤷🏽♂️
That first wife isnt just a simple housewife, she speaks verry educated and verry good and clear. So much wisdom
So a "normal housewife" is usually dumb, can't articulate herself properly and has no education whatsoever?
Ahhh yes... That's why they are the ones caring for the kids...🙄
@@Freiya2011 You didnt understood my words🤷♂️ she sounds educated i told.... Educated means studiet and read manny stuff and talks in a educated way and language! Is you ho told so, i dodnt told anny thing bad about housewifes🤷♂️ You,just,dont understand adult language. MY WIFE STUDIET ON UNIVERSITY AND TO BE FRANK, AHE COULD LEARN FROM THIS WOMAN LIKE MANNY MANNY OTHER COULD!
@@MrCakocalypse Well, I DO understand you quite well. But YOU didn't understand my sarcasm. Take it easy with insulting. You never know who you are talking to.
@@MrCakocalypse some educated womans are wise enough to accept poliginy...
Other ones are in need to be apreciated...
A wise Man said once:
*"A wise woman build her's house, but a stupid one destroy it with her's own hands"*
I think, woman should live alone for a whille to get more wisdom... and to feel the need of a *"Head"* ...
@@Freiya2011 sorry if you gotit as insult, i didnt meant as an inault at,all....
I don’t have a problem with polygamous marriages. From what I have seen, these marriages work very well. I love that the husband, many wives, and many children live together as one big happy family.
The wives love each other like sisters and everyone helps each other. That’s a huge advantage to being just one woman trying to maintain the house and children.
I’m an American born woman who was not raised this way, but I imagine if this lifestyle is all I knew from birth, I would fully embrace it and love it!!
I love the first wife!! She has a truly beautiful soul!!
Likewise I have no problem with polygamy, as long as it is non discriminatory, and not just polygyny. Needs to be equally accepting of polyandry, or group marriage, or of no marriage at all where "it takes a village" to raise a child.
You're a perv! D:
And how many have you actually seen?
Some reports tell different stories ... of horrendous jealousy between the wives, accelerated sibling rivalry amongst the children, especially for the father's attention, inequitable distribution of chores. I for one, wouldn't want to be looking after another woman's children, whilst she is in bed with my husband. Pass!
It's awesome to see different cultures and how love has so many different forms. I'd love to go here and see how they actually live and thrive.
NOT KNOWING TOO MUCH. STRONG AFFECTION IS RARE WHEN YOU'RE JUST A
BREEDING MACHINE.
That first wife is very intelligent, I wish she had more life opportunities.
What if she is completely fulfilled with the life she has?
@@likejohnnyandjune2024 that’s very possible. She also mentioned she was unhappy when she was made to marry her husband but she has since accepted it. Sometimes we accept situations because we feel powerless.
Idk.. America is the land of wealth and opportunity, people literally die trying to get here, yet our people spend all their time complaining, are never happy, or satisfied.
Sunny Bae In the States, people go into marriage happy and over half leave the marriage miserable. Sometimes more than once.
@@JoyFay Or one does find happiness where one is in time. Because one is humble and grateful in life.
Yayai has an amazing authority about her. Her laugh and her smile are so maternal and warm. There’s so much to learn from this culture. Thank you for making this video.
Really love the way stephanie wisely explained "my way if thinking is not the only way of thinking."
....we get connected easily with Yayai through her infectious smile, fluidity and simplicity,......
You can tell the first wife is the heart of the family. What an amazing person ❤
Indeed to all the polygamist tribes in Africa mine included first wife is always the heart of the family, incase you got the worse one as a first wife your problems will be mountains and your early death will be eminent.
*challenge to all youtubers*
Well we didn't get to hear anything from the husband, just saw his picture.
Yayai is so beautiful inside and out, smart and perceptive. Her smile always graced her face which shows to me an inner peace and contentment. 💜
Hello dear. How are you doing?
Yeah I can really feel it....She is beautiful in and out 😊
Yes u r right
What an amazing, thought-provoking video! Thank you Eva!
There's no wrong and there's no right - there's just a differnce, that's all.
Stephanie is such a wonderful woman. I watched her videos and went to her Twitter to see pictures. Very nice video.
Yayai is so pretty. I couldn't take my eyes off her smile. She is gorgeous.
Same here! I kept thinking "her teeth!!! How are her teeth so white?!?"
She radiates contentment and joy.
It's not about love and romance, it's about women having human rights and bodily autonomy.
Exactly! I watched a tv show where a Swedish woman went to marry a maasai and literally the men slaughtered a goat, and then they took all the nice pieces of the animal and ate them alone, and gave the worst parts to the women who had to sit separately and make some kind of slow cook from them......... If women like the "first wife" is happy, then I am happy for her, but I cannot comprehend this utterly extreme sexism...... these women seem really nice and sweet, but I cannot imagine that the same goes for the men.
Right mam
Finally a coment from someone with brains.
@@badgalirri I watched a documentary based on the white woman in this video. She mentionioned that there is forced marriage for girls. Imagine if she has a girl child. Some people suspend their senses because of love. How can you subject your child to that?
@@badgalirri make it more clear I am European and women werent allowed to sit at the table with men back in time. Just a simple *christian* country and same sexism. Of course things changed since then
Always so much to learn from your videos ... what life you lead Eva ... amazing
Amazing video. I love Stephanie and her Maasai family so much. ❤❤❤
Marriage is for two people, not for ten.
The Massai don't need Western validation or understanding. They exist regardless of Western thought. This woman is speaking of family , community and sisterhood. Respect.
Facts, they need to send them back to the west b4 they corrupt their culture too.
@@mopheousredpill7462 Corrupt. Hahahahaha.
@@redbetta2191 I have no idea why you replied to me. It has nothing to do with what I said. Lol
THISSSS!!!!
We can learn a lot from them and their perspective. To not have jealousy. How freeing that must be!
The first wife has a beautiful view of life. I love how she laughs all the time, she is just so happy with her own life and has so much love for everyone.
But if you notice carefully, her laugh is a little sheepish, as if she can naturally feel that something is not quite right, despite what she's saying with her mouth. It's kind of like a shrug your shoulders laugh.
@@LightentheEarthMinistry Yes, I definitely picked up on that too, the laugh and words were saying two different things. Im guessing most ppl didnt notice but for me her laughter made me a little sad, which is not my usual reaction to laughter..she did seem like a wonderful woman.
She laughs to keep from crying, perhaps
That’s culture. I heard about the tribe in India where brothers have a common wife. It’s less costly for the family. I’ll always open to learning of others culture and appreciating their culture.
I never knew that can you tell name of the tribe or you might be refering to Draupadi of Mahabharata.
You are sensational...thank you for that outstanding vlog. Great message to the world...at large.
This woman has the spirit of loving kindness and compassion. I hope we'll learn more about her............
Muslim men have more than 1 wife...
What is there to learn ? Have some self respect in yourself is the lesson .Imagine if a man was sharing husbands would you say the same no right?
The first wife is so understanding and philosophical. She understands the differences
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@Giovanni Garcia The white western women wasn’t superficial at all. Perhaps you need to find out the definition of superficial, and learn not to be a racist.
@@fozanahmad6144 exactly, perfectly said. It’s better to live in your truth regardless of how other may view you.
She sounds so wise
Does she have a choice?
Best wishes from Egypt ❤great show ❤️
Excellent video. Simple, genuine, no ideology
The first wife is happy to have co wives simply because more wives means lesser work coz they will help each other with the chores....
Happy? They don't know anny better lol i'm 100% certain if they had a choice they wouldn't be one of many wives of a man.
I was thinking she looks so relieved
@@direct2397 thats how it is...it a cultural thing
Most women not happy in monogamous marriage.
Most women not happy no matter what.
Happy man = Happy wife
Happy wife = Miserable man
I just want to share my story because now this is a big problem here in the UK for many women: My ex husband married me but he was talking to girls but he still married me, he didn't provide for me then after a year of marriage he went Pakistan and got married to another girl, then he divorced her. After sometime he got a girl pregnant, he told her a big bag of lies about me and this Muslim girl didn't know about me but he was still with me. I found out and got divorced but he was cheating on her with other girls and she was pregnant, moved her out of London so she dont find out about me. SubhanAllaah
Now my husband lied and tricked me into polygamy marriage, I cry and I'm so upset how a man cant lie and trick me into polygamy marriage SubhanAllaah. The other wife dont know about me, he moved her out of London Tooting area to Blackpool in 2019 summer time, so I dont leave him, now he tells me their is no wife "Sakina", I said because you moved her to Blackpool so I cant tell her now and the wife didn't even question him, the mans moved you out of London SubhanAllaah.
I'm warning you sisters please!!!
Be careful sisters, dont trust noone. Most Muslim brothers have other girls and that's how it is nowadays SubhanAllaah. My was husband had me and her then he was talking to other girls for marriage, he didn't tell these girls he was married with children.
He was talking to girls online and his family took him to see other girls at their homes "CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT" you know your son is married with children and your taking him to see other girls for marriage SubhanAllaah.
Alot of guys are married or have secret wives and secret girlfriends and secret children SubhanAllaah Ya Allah so please be careful, be careful. I cry so much because I love him, unconditional love Allah swt put in my heart for my husband.
Now I'm suffering with mental health issues, emotional abuse too because he was married I got a infection from him too from him having sex with the wife and that's how I found out he was married to another woman SubhanAllaah. The wife still dont know about me Terrible. Warning th-cam.com/video/mkJF6G-I-Cg/w-d-xo.html
This type of life is not for me. But, I can now see the “why” of it. Like she said, our cultures are different. If I had grown up there I’d have co-wives.
sharing house chores with another woman could be fun but...sharing husband ...only fun for him.😜
Their never happy because I have many African friends in the UK so many have left because of misery in there. Most women told me there never happy.
I just want to share my story because now this is a big problem here in the UK for many women: My ex husband married me but he was talking to girls but he still married me, he didn't provide for me then after a year of marriage he went Pakistan and got married to another girl, then he divorced her. After sometime he got a girl pregnant, he told her a big bag of lies about me and this Muslim girl didn't know about me but he was still with me. I found out and got divorced but he was cheating on her with other girls and she was pregnant, moved her out of London so she dont find out about me. SubhanAllaah
Now my husband lied and tricked me into polygamy marriage, I cry and I'm so upset how a man cant lie and trick me into polygamy marriage SubhanAllaah. The other wife dont know about me, he moved her out of London Tooting area to Blackpool in 2019 summer time, so I dont leave him, now he tells me their is no wife "Sakina", I said because you moved her to Blackpool so I cant tell her now and the wife didn't even question him, the mans moved you out of London SubhanAllaah.
I'm warning you sisters please!!!
Be careful sisters, dont trust noone. Most Muslim brothers have other girls and that's how it is nowadays SubhanAllaah. My was husband had me and her then he was talking to other girls for marriage, he didn't tell these girls he was married with children.
He was talking to girls online and his family took him to see other girls at their homes "CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT" you know your son is married with children and your taking him to see other girls for marriage SubhanAllaah.
Alot of guys are married or have secret wives and secret girlfriends and secret children SubhanAllaah Ya Allah so please be careful, be careful. I cry so much because I love him, unconditional love Allah swt put in my heart for my husband.
Now I'm suffering with mental health issues, emotional abuse too because he was married I got a infection from him too from him having sex with the wife and that's how I found out he was married to another woman SubhanAllaah. The wife still dont know about me Terrible. Warning th-cam.com/video/mkJF6G-I-Cg/w-d-xo.html
Ain't that win for the women who are lesbians/bi😳
The negative impacts of polygamy to individuals and to society are profound. Children and women are the most affected in polygamous communities. ... It causes psychological problems for children and women. Women suffer from psychiatric conditions such as low self-esteem, loneliness, anxiety, and somatization.
They are a Very Compassionate Tribe of People. 💚
The feminists hasn't reached there ....
What a lovely woman,she's beautiful,and such a calm presence being the first wife.
Many of these girls are married off at 10, 12 years old. Its sad.
I spent years and thousands studying anthropology at university. I would have learned more just hanging out with Eva. Great job!
pretty sure you weren't a good student
@@valmer2889 lol
This video is very Enjoyable. Tks Eva.
A beautiful proof of huge difference between education and wisdom.
Knowing myself, I’d accidentally on purpose count the cattle just because it’s forbidden 😩🥴😭
So you're telling me no one has secretly done it? Lol
You live surrounding cow pens, that must smell lovely.
😂😂😂😂
Same
Me too 😜🤣
She could’ve gone to Utah if she wanted to interview people about polygamy. 😩😂
Very true
I just want to share my story because now this is a big problem here in the UK for many women: My ex husband married me but he was talking to girls but he still married me, he didn't provide for me then after a year of marriage he went Pakistan and got married to another girl, then he divorced her. After sometime he got a girl pregnant, he told her a big bag of lies about me and this Muslim girl didn't know about me but he was still with me. I found out and got divorced but he was cheating on her with other girls and she was pregnant, moved her out of London so she dont find out about me. SubhanAllaah
Now my husband lied and tricked me into polygamy marriage, I cry and I'm so upset how a man cant lie and trick me into polygamy marriage SubhanAllaah. The other wife dont know about me, he moved her out of London Tooting area to Blackpool in 2019 summer time, so I dont leave him, now he tells me their is no wife "Sakina", I said because you moved her to Blackpool so I cant tell her now and the wife didn't even question him, the mans moved you out of London SubhanAllaah.
I'm warning you sisters please!!!
Be careful sisters, dont trust noone. Most Muslim brothers have other girls and that's how it is nowadays SubhanAllaah. My was husband had me and her then he was talking to other girls for marriage, he didn't tell these girls he was married with children.
He was talking to girls online and his family took him to see other girls at their homes "CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT" you know your son is married with children and your taking him to see other girls for marriage SubhanAllaah.
Alot of guys are married or have secret wives and secret girlfriends and secret children SubhanAllaah Ya Allah so please be careful, be careful. I cry so much because I love him, unconditional love Allah swt put in my heart for my husband.
Now I'm suffering with mental health issues, emotional abuse too because he was married I got a infection from him too from him having sex with the wife and that's how I found out he was married to another woman SubhanAllaah. The wife still dont know about me Terrible. Warning th-cam.com/video/mkJF6G-I-Cg/w-d-xo.html
@@JahannamHellfire Don't involve religion into this . No muslim says subhannalah , ya allah , mashallah every nanosecond .
FUI , there is this invention called "divorce" go get one of those .
Haaaaaa 😂
Lol 😂
These beautiful people live in peace and they also seem happy.
I so ADORE them.
We in the East and West "modern" countries are living in fear and turmoil, especially now, as things escalate in Europe, possibly leading to a global war..
We probably won't survive, but the beautiful souls will. I admire that greatly!
Blessings to them!
Love from my own beautiful country of Greece!
Beautiful! ❤Thank you for sharing 😊😊😊❤️