An anecdote from a friend: He saw a man in maybe his mid 20's come into a hospital waiting room with his HEAVILY pregnant partner and there was only one seat left and the guy TOOK it. His pregnant partner stood there like she was used to it while he took out his phone. He almost started scrolling, but my friend (a very large man in his 50's, who teaches self defense to young girls and women) shouted at him from across the room "GTFO of that seat. Wtf is wrong with you?!". The piece of crap was ready to start something, realised he was being challenged by a more physically imposing man and stood up. He stood not because he realised he was in the wrong, but because he couldn't intimidate the other person.
What's sad about this situation is that she could have gotten blamed for it when they got home. This is sad. Men do dumb stuff like this, get held accountable, but take it out on the wife. Sad.
A lot of men will state “well, women were fine doing this in the 50’s and 60’s” without mentioning how high the rates of suicide, alcoholism and addiction to painkillers was of SAHM.
@@Luxiouriousprettymethat has never really been true.. only a small percentage of wealthy white people colud afford a maid or even the wife not working.. most women worked and had side hustle but got no credit for it.
And spouse murder. Men were killing their wives, women poisoning their husbands, and children forced into the world against the will of the mother were thrown in dumpsters and fireplaces. There was a hell of a lot more domestic murder, I don't think it's a time to idolize
One of my pet peeves is when I hear men saying “I have to babysit my kids tomorrow.” If they’re your kids YOU ARE NOT BABYSITTING!!! This attitude is part of a bigger problem. They have a very rigid perception of gender roles, so if they do anything like cooking or taking care of the kids, they consider it as they’re doing YOUR job.
@@msch3891 I also hate how when fathers are alone with the kids, when the mothers get home the fathers “punch out” and think they’re done parenting for the day.
I hadn't really thought about it until Coworker A grumbled about being forced to babysit his kids after work that night so his wife could go do something and Coworker B turned around and said, "Dude, if they're your kids, it's called parenting." It reinforced my opinion that A was a jackass and B was a pretty cool guy.
@@donnamurphy8551or when they start something with the kid thry want you to end it. Like the kid starts crying ..oh go to mum or they come running to give you the kid ....nope ..deal with it. Or like they wanna give the kid a shower but want you to dress them and feed them .. nope ... deal with it all mate. Tf. 😅😅 it's suddenly not as easy as they thought.
@@beautiful_wonderfullymade marriage is a slavery institution for women. If you can provide for yourself you won’t need a man. Learn to decentralize men from your life.
My life is easier as a single mom of 2 than it ever was as a married single mom. My ex husband was like a whole other child. I did all the cooking and cleaning. We both worked full-time yet his excuse for not helping around the house was that his job is “more stressful” than mine. Glad I’m out of that situation. I’m happy with just myself and my kids ❤
@@Erica-wz8yv Sure darling, your story is relatable to so many. The one who REALLY lost in your situation is your ex. He will never I repeat never find another amazing woman as yourself ever but that's not your problem. Take everything as a lesson learned and move forward, work on being the best version of yourself.
I had an ex-boyfriend that was raised in an all boy family by a mom who enabled and spoiled them, neither of their parents made them become men. No accountability, no responsibility, no manners, nothing. I was young and in love but the final moment for me was when we pulled up to Taco Bell and I forgot my wallet. I only asked for one taco, so $2. He enraged, responded with “if we ever get married you’ll never see a dime from me.” The funny part was that I was the one from a wealthy family, in school, on track To be successful, not him lol. This was a week after he stopped to grab McDonald’s after I spent 3 hours making food. I had an “aha” moment. This can never be my long-term guy. He can never be a father. A husband. Not even a friend. He is meant to be alone. And I let him go. Clean cut. He ended up continuing loserdome, getting arrested, being an idiot. I ended up meeting a devilishly handsome, educated, successful, kind, specialized doctor at the hospital I worked at. It was truly love at first sight. I saw his baby blue eyes and he saw my big (HUGE) brown eyes and it was done. Dated 5 months, engaged 1 years, married almost 12, several perfect kids. He would walk through hellfire if it meant I would smile. He cooks, cleans, works, loves, laughs, giggles, dances. I also cook, clean, work, dance, giggle, etc. the funny part is after the loser found out I was engaged he tried to call me and come stalk me at work and tell me to “make a choice.” I was like, “I did. It’s him. And you should leave because if he finds you here, he will beat the shit out of you.” For every POS guy, there’s also a wonderful man, who values women, values love, values family, and would fall on a sword 1000 times for his love. Don’t give up! But just be sure that you are also a prize that is deserving of a good man, you need to be loyal, kind, loving, sacrificial, honest, hardworking, honorable to him in all moments. He deserves the best too!
Thank you for all of this. What I saw missing from each one of those whining women, was thought. There seemed to be no thinking or talking about who he was BEFOFE you married him because you had better believe THEY TOLD THEM, it was just overlooked. People ALWAYS tell you who they are. You have to decide if you’ll listen. But even if you do not, please stop coming online painting yourself as a victim when you were a willing participant.
Not so. Narcissists don't show their true colours until after the marriage. Some don't show them til after the birth of the first child or the first male child. My father treated my mother well until after the marriage and turned out to be a compulsive liar, a gambler and physically violent. None of this came to light until after the marriage. I know a number of women who have had the same experience. One dated her high school sweetheart for years, they married and a year later had a son, whereupon he became physically violent and when the child reached 4 he became violent to the child, too who was so traumatised he could no longer speak. That was the last straw, so she left him. Another had a daughter and all was fine but when she gave birth to a son her husband became abusive to her and put a cigarette out on the child's foot. These infantile men are jealous of their own children, especially sons. The first time my dad was physically abusive to my mum was after the marriage, she was heavily pregnant when he twisted her arm up her back causing real pain. He felt he had trapped her with the marriage and children so now he could do what he wanted. There are many men out there who fake decency and drop the act once they are married.
My mother was a married single mother. She was also the main breadwinner. After the divorce we noticed the house was cleaner and there was money to go on vacations and shopping sprees which we couldn't do before... Because the messy financial burden that was my father was GONE. Less housework, more food in the pantry, more money since an unemployed man that didn't do ANYTHING in the house except create messes... was gone. I can see WHY women are noping out and choosing to be single or getting divorced. These men become burdens in every sense. My mother literally rejuvenated once my father was gone because he had been draining her of her youth and energy. She dressed better, went to the salon, wore makeup, smiled more, lost weight... Some people think kids are draining but... a man can be MORE DRAINING than a child. I hadn't realized how much of a pig my father was until we no longer saw his underwear and shoes marring a recently cleaned room and finally saw an empty kitchen sink since he kept eating and leaving unwashed dishes. Even our trash cans stopped overflowing and literally half of our laundry loads was gone. The stench of his feet was finally nonexistent etc. Glad he was g o n e and he stopped leeching on money for his dumb hobbies. My mother literally did charity work in putting up with him that long. Don't tolerate men that drain you of yourself like this. Some men are only happy if they have a woman breaking their backs to have them pampered while you fade away. These type of men don't care about what they're doing to you. They're not partners, they're energy vampires.
I was like your mom was. Breadwinner *and* homemaker, and I had to endure his emotional abuse and he spent all our money on his hobbies. Now not only am I debt-free, I have savings, I can take my kids on holidays, I can go out to make friends or date, and I'll be able to buy a new car soon.
Even as women rightfully call this out, it’s so clear how conditioned everyone is. Men aren’t there to “HELP” - it’s their literal responsibility, and if they don’t take initiative…they are failing.
Exactly. They conveniently forget that the man is a FATHER! Meaning it’s his responsibility to parent his children. I can’t stand when men and women continue the lie that men go to work and woman supposed to stay home and take care of the house and kids. 😒🤨
@@Nitra813 Yeah but they need a better definition of what is male parenting cuz many think its scream or beat their child till the child no longer needs to parenting and learns to ask how high.
@honestmanutdfan603watch the men in this video… This is what most men are like. Husbands treating their wives like their personal slave isn’t the exception…. It’s the rule!
And males always turn it around on us and say it’s because the kid knows we give them everything they want. No. It’s because we take care of the kids and the male just sits there, useless.
I was a married, working single mom once. Honestly? I was SHOCKED at how much less work I had as a single mom than a married mom. He took the kids for half the week. I had less cooking, less cleaning, more personal time, and more money than I did as a married mom. Hell, even when I was paying child support I had more money than when I was married to him. That's how much of a leach these men are. Yeet them out of your life. I've done it and HIGHLY recommend it.
I’m a woman who had to pay spousal support to her ex, too. It’s a million times easier being a single mom than being a married single mom. My child is now 18 which means I don’t have to talk to my ex about anything. 🎉
I dodged a bullet. After 18 yrs of being trapped in a "traditional" marriage that was destroying me, some 20 yr old thought she was clever to come in and get pregnant with his kids because she wanted him for herself. Joke's on her, he's a malignant narcissist and I genuinely laughed for the first time in years when I finally got a safe way out, as he was distracted with her. Now, I can heal and care for myself.
@@grace101Thank you, Grace. My mother is a wonderful woman. She taught me how to love, that beauty is only skin-deep, and that no one is better than anyone else. I absolutely adore her.
My mom complained about being married to my dad my entire life. I am basically my mom’s marriage therapist. Which is crazy because I am her child - I should not be subjected to that kind of responsibility. Me and my siblings all wondered our entire lives why my parents never divorced. Trust me ladies, it is better to leave these deadbeat men sooner than later. Don’t subject your children to his BS or your complaints! Your children would rather see you single and happier than married and depressed.
Dangerous idea since almost every study indicates children from single mothers do much worse across every metric than those with intact households. I would be cautious when extrapolating from your particular story.
I feel you, I have been telling my parents they would be happier divorced since when I was 15...I'm 37 and still their therapist. I get it's not the ideal situation, they were deeply in love but failed to realize they were incompatible on daily life bases and it's hard for Roman Catholics to divorce, we really believe in marriage and making things work...but they both have been complaining about their marriage since I was 10, so I don't get why they didn't separate, they could have still be friends and co-parents but wouldn't have gotten on each other's nerves due to their polar opposite characters, habits and personalities.
Men out here bitching about they can't find traditional women anymore: bro they're out there, y'all menfolk have just burned them out completely and many of them are realizing they got played. You ruined the very thing you're trying to find.
Most men don't have any male role models. We are raised more by our mothers, our teachers are all women, and now we pretty much are answering to female bosses. Most men are single because no woman wants them. For every single millennial woman there are two single millennial men. We can't ruin something we never had.
Men ruin everything. Even “femininity” not trying to sound like a man hater. But men put women against each other and de centering them makes me look at women and my self differently.
I'm south Asian and in my culture about 90% of women are traditional housewives. When I got married it was the same story, despite being educated and working when I got pregnant it was a joint decision that I stay at home and raise the kids whilst he provided AND promised he would help out as often as he could. In my case it wasn't so much the lack of help that bothered me but more the control, selfishness with money and domineering that made me leave him. He constantly barked at me, put me down, came home and talked about his needs only, complained to his mother if the dinner wasn't made on time, sulked and threw tantrums if I wanted something, did the typical 'you don't need that' when I asked for some money and everything was about him and his family first and my family was an afterthought. There was only so many 'so what?' and 'why should I?' comments I could take before I finally had the sense to walkaway. When I did I got the guilt trip from literally everyone I knew, how SHAMEFUL it was to decide to be a single mother. How I would regret it etc. Don't get me wrong some parts aren't easy but when I left my husband I took my two children and moved back in with my parents and I'm soooo much happier this way. I have my family who help me out, my dad plays with my kids and drives them to school some days, my mom looks after them when I'm in the shower or want to rest. My siblings take it in turns to cook. My work load has been halved a lot plus they finally see more of my family than just my husbands. And the ironic part as usual is that their dad makes more of an effort to be a better father now than before. I'm still only separated from my husband. He wants us to get back but naturally I'm taking my time with the decision. I may contemplated it when my kids are old enough to take themselves to school and help around the house. Take a stand ladies, changes are only ever made when we do! EDIT: thank you for all the answers ladies, I'm really giving this a lot of thought. I never realized how truly controlled I was by him x
Please don’t go back at any point. Even if he’s learned his lesson (and I doubt it), the fact he was capable of treating you that way to begin with showcases the truth of how he feels about women in general. That type of conditioning can’t be overcome. Perhaps for a time, but it’s not your job to fix him. It’s his.
Don't go back to him. He's just playing sweet to get you back in your place because he dislikes you but needs you at the same time. Divorce him and move on
Until 6ft Chad comes along broke and flashes his abs and rented lambo . Stop choosing on looks and what men can buy you . Make an emotional connection . Congratulations you played yourselves
I'm glad more women are thinking twice before entering marriage and motherhood. It's great more women are sharing more realistic views of what it looks like behind the scenes. It's hard and women need a break.
Having kids looks so lonely. What happened to grandparents and cousins and the whole village being involved to raise children? It looks like moms do everything alone these days, I dont wanna have kids if I’m gonna do everything by myself
Not even behind closed doors!! In all those videos in the beginning the men were being unhelpful and inconsiderate IN PUBLIC. Meaning these women don't even get to pretend they have the "perfect"marriage" to the outside world😂
@@kathyalex778 A thing of the past. People are so messed up that they will hurt your kids just to get at you. Who gonna check them? You can't. Their alphabet boys and girls support handlers. They do the same thing. So when a person is responsible in many areas of their life to procreate...just know that nobody is guaranteed to help you. Everyone says one thing, then do anything. This bait n switch tactic is a jealousy move. Just to shelf another person.
Let’s stop calling being an active husband, father, and productive member of a family “helping.” And actively parenting their children is not “babysitting!” Sheesh!
My husband used to get so confused and now he gets extremely offended when people pat him on the back for "helping" or "babysitting" with our baby. He mentions that it's his baby too, so how is that helping? It's just doing the bare minimum to not be a shitty parent or partner
The biggest difference for me was that once I became (my choice) a single single mom I had no more RESENTMENT. That feeling is an energy, affection, and mood killer.
I remember telling women I went to college with that the whole fairytale is a trap! They laughed and said I was a hater because I was calling out the red flags. They thought their partners sarcastic behavior and demeaning them thought it was cute because to them, since they were getting married it didn’t apply to them. Now they are divorced and a few twice divorced.
Years ago, when I was 27 (in my late 40s now) I met a group of young, white, women who worked for a supplier to my company. Im a Latina and while our men can def be a-holes, we don’t set that as a goal! Lol. One day, we were all “partying” at a BBQ of a fellow sales VP (38 y/o macho frat bro) who I happened to be dating and I know they were lusting after. I was saying I wasn’t sure if this was going to work bc he had ex-wife drama, always wanted everything done on his time and only wanted to do his activities and I had a feeling he was cheating. Two of three girls said “Ooooh, I don’t know, I love assholes. I’m so attracted to them.” I was like 😳😳😑 I had never heard any woman say this…
Whew! She loves them?! That’s the type of woman that complains in confidence to her friends and then go right back home to the ahole! I can’t! No one is worth my sanity!
@@traceylennon1204some of them are not just just boring, they’re weird, phony and play the victim and let their rude bros influence them which is why I called it off with my high school sweetheart acting like the hurt nice goofy guy while letting his friends intervene in our relationship no backbone! Thinking he was gone change me bad mistake!
I remember how a back then 60 year old Dana Delaney (actress on China Beach and Desperate Housewives) came on the Steve Harvey show for an interview, looking not a day older than 40, fresh, glowing and sexy in a short dress. And everyone was gasping and she got asked about her "secret" to looking the way she does. Her reply: "I get asked this a lot and I think I´ve figured it out. I´ve never been married... I don´t have kids... I do yoga every day... and I drink a lot of wine." Spot on. My entire life (which was amazing like something out of a fantastical, romantic movie, and people constantly believed me to be ten years younger than I actually was) deteriorated and went to hell when I made the colossal mistake of "finally" getting married at age 35 and becoming a mother... only to end up as a "married single mother". Pulled the plug after three years. It´s been a decade now, and I´ve never looked back. No way will I ever ruin my health, beauty, physical fitness, finances, quality of sleep, peace of mind, free leisure time and my gorgeous, clean, beautifully decorated home like that again.
so true two of my neighbors are single childless women with dogs and I thought the 40 year old was 27 and the 36 year old was 25 or something. They even sound young... They were both white women now everyone jokes white people age fast but imo I think stress is the main factor.
@@heneverforesakesme4038 If I was one of those women, I guess we would both just be laying there then. He asked her so he should be doing the most. The nerve... And more than half of them are impotent anyways.
I'm the daughter of a single mom and guess what? I've never been happier to not have my poor excuse of a father in my life. This man, even with all his intelligence could not provide for the family, never paid a penny for my education and on top of that, physically and mentally abused my mom when I was young. Now I'm 17 and both me and my mom are happier than ever. May this happiness never go away from us, Ameen ❤️
Ameen. Thank you for shedding light on this especially for Muslims. I see it happening more and more especially with our Muslim people. The men are so so bad that I chose not to get married.
Wow so sorry for all the pain that Your 'father' gave. Not ALL Men are like that. Some are, sorry to say. You have to have a license to drive. A license to fish. A license to even get Married. But ANYONE can be a 'father' or a 'mother' for that fact. If You're going to be either, be a GOOD one. Be the BEST one ever! BE the kind of parent You want YOUR kids to grow up as. ❤
@@hustlemami8732 I understand. Especially because Islam as a religion is not supposed to suppress women that way and a lot of people are brainwashed into thinking that Muslim men have some sort of upper hand over the women. As a Muslim myself, I can tell you that not all men are wrong, but I feel it's necessary for people to be taught more about the religion and be brought out of the culture created by men to oppress women. A true Muslim man always respects and supports the women of their family and I have seen some good examples of it. I do hope that you find someone like that as well. Not all men are bad, trust me❤️
I'm all for getting out of abusive relationships, but the average son or daughter is not better off without a father. In fact he or she is a lot worse across every metric. But I'm glad that is not the case with you. Obviously physical abuse changes everything. Thank you for sharing.
Many of the dads in the 50s had two jobs too. So it made sense he was working his butt off and had seasonal businesses like selling Christmas trees and fireworks. She took care of the house and kids because he didn’t have time. He slept 5 hours a night and had no downtime. The problem is the men are not working hard enough to justify their lack of involvement and the women are now working harder than they’ve ever worked.
Dishwashers, laundry machine, electric ranges, dryers, vacuum cleaners. Little lady, women would have to wash clothes by hands with washboard, all day. Women would have to spend most of the day cooking on firewood. A lot of these women had to make their own clothes, and clothes for the kids. Patch up upholstery and more. No, you ladies have it easier than any other woman in history. Not excusing men though.
@@toxicmale2264so basically women always had it harder and worked more than men, just in different ways- nothing has changed except that now women can divorce when they are fed up of unfairness and disrespect on top of it.
@@hashh2019 No, both genders had to work hard to survive. There was no such thing as equal rights or human rights back then. There was just survival. The man got the resources, and the woman gave the man reasons to invest in her well being. Women are able to divorce men because you don't need men anymore. In the past, life was hard. Women wanted to survive not be strong and independent.
Its true that women wanted to survive - in a world that men created, for the total benefit of men. Women for the most part weren't *allowed* to work in non domestic-related jobs (which includes cloth mills & garment-making), nor were they paid beyond a pittance of a man's wage when they did. Women weren't allowed to have bank accounts/credit/ownership of property w/o a male authority on the account/property. For illustration, when I was 18, I still needed a male relative co-signer to open a bank account, which legally allowed the male relative to access *my* earned $$.
That is why single and Childfree women are the happiest people in the world. Look at this BS women had to deal with everyday! Even if you chose better women still carry the heavier burden in marriage and childcare.
Those studies are odd bc happiness is so different for different people. I love being a mother and things I complain about that a CF woman or man may not complain about will be different. There's pros and cons for each. I don't remember being included in that study either.😒
@@micahescala2184, I get that everyone's perspective is different, but you all know what neglect is. Two married people that both work and pay bills. One comes home after work and puts his feet up. Then ask the equally tired party, what's for dinner? If they have children, the woman is taking care of them as well as cleaning the house. When she finally crawls into bed, he taps her on her shoulder and expects her to perform like a p0rn star. He even has the audacity to wonder why she's so tired the next morning. When she expresses her needs to him, he gets upset and swears his job is more stressful than hers. Then he's shocked when she files for divorce and says he was blind sided.
The sad thing is, wher I come from, this is what's called a normal marriage. Any woman gets told that marriage is a responsibility and to forget her days of being playful and getting fancy or done up (unless it's for her husband, of course) and romantic ideas are nothing but silly teenage dreams that'll wreck "a true marriage" based on fairytales. And the fact that they make us believe that we should want this life more than anything and to put aside education or pursuing a personal passion is so odd to me. Like, if you want to make me want to get married to the point where I'd throw away my individuality, life and dreams... maybe you should sell this marriage thing a bit better? But no, that would create an expectation for men and god forbid they're ever questioned why they don't meet any standard. while girls are raised to be perfect housewives from the age of 10. And I'm supposed to believe that my life would be living hell without a narcissistic toddler who can't do shit for himself but still thinks he can boss me around or even abuse me?
I think your perception of a theoretical husband is quite negative. Why would he be someone you despise? Aren't you the one picking him? Obviously marriage implies sacrifices for the wellbeing of the children. If you care more about your individuality than that I don't see a problem. Just accept the consequences (good and bad). No one can have it all.
@@Jaime-eg4eb did you watch the video? Do you know what kind of husband they're talking about? That's called normal where I come from and women who don't accept abusive husbands are considered picky and no good for marriage and sometimes whores. Marriage shouldn't take away someone's individuality but rather share it safely with your partner. It's not the same here, a woman should have absolutely no personality or individuality and just be a follower to her husband. Men don't have to sacrifice a single thing in marriage but the women sacrifice everything. We don't get a say in our own lives. Men marry for comfort, especially students. Male students marry to have a maid and an assistant to manage their lives while they study and achieve their dreams and after they're done they make it clear how much they hate their wives and how they should be thankful they didn't dispose of them once they graduated (which also happens) my own father said he'll disown me me if I become a cardiologist because then no man would want to marry me. Why? 1st, cardiology takes a long time, you'll be old and no man will want to marry someone who's no longer in her 20's. But older men exist too. Yes, but they also want someone in their 20's so no one will want you at all. 2nd you will scare the men away, cardiology is one of the most difficult branches of medicine, no man wants to marry a woman smarter than him. 3rd, being a successful cardiologist means that I won't have time to feed my husband or take care of his children. What if I marry a cardiologist then? Of course not. Cardiologists are busy people, if they marry someone that someone should do all the house chores for them so they can focus on their careers. Fine, so I'll marry someone who isn't a cardiologist so they can cater their entire life to me while I thrive. Of course not, you want to marry a woman? No self respecting man will do house chores, that's your job as a woman. That's what came from my own father who loves me (supposedly) because he knows this is what men are like in our society, there's no bargaining or give and take. Men only take, women only give, even before a marriage takes place we are taught our entire lives to be perfect wives and give away our dreams. Never was there a man who said he wanted to be a cardiologist and his family went no, you'll be too busy and absent no woman will want to marry you. Because women don't get to complain about their marriages, you got a husband, be thankful. While men complain and abuse their wives all the time. I love reading and my parents were proud until dropped the fantasy books and wanted to read more about science and biology, my dad told me to stop and only stick to novels. We have to bury ourselves from the moment we're born and dim our lights so we don't outshine men and their insecure asses. You can say not all men are like that and I agree, but that's what they're all like where I come from. No one broke the tradition and raised a good man, no man got rejected enough times to self reflect because women are scared they'll end up alone with no one to provide for them so they take any man no matter how horrible, their only desired quality is "man" and wanting anything more means she's greedy. Women go to their parents with horrible injuries from being physically abused and are told to go back to their husbands and apologize. One man hit his daughter because she called the cops on her abusive husband because now he won't take her back. There was a movie I saw as a kid about a girl who wanted to live life and have a career while her friends were all getting married. Some men proposed to her but she refused because one was an addict and one was a mama's boy. She was too old when she graduated aka above 26 and didn't know how to sew so men refused to marry her. No one whould employ her and she ended up as prostitute being abused by her pimp and even got an STD and couldn't make money out of prostitution anymore. She spent her last days begging on the streets until she died. That's the moral of the story, if you dare to want more than a husband and are picky with who asks for your hand in marriage, you'll be worthless and tossed aside until you die alone.
@@MsFlamingFlamer I know not all men are bad and I'm happy you found a good one. But my comment is about the men in my community. No one bothers to be good because they already think they're beyond great the way they are. And most men are like that, unfortunately.
3 divorced women in my family have all confirmed they are happier and have less work to do now that they are single, even as single mothers. I heard them discussing this privately at a family event to only have them 5mins later pressuring me into having children 😂
That's bc a man alone (no kids) adds 7 hrs of labor to a woman's work load. That's 364 waking hrs (or 1 month) of your life every year dedicated to picking up after a male partner. After a decade, you've lost nearly a year of your life to him. No thank you. Imagine having all that extra time added back into your life. That's time for hobbies, self-care, educational growth, volunteer-work, etc. So much of your self-actualization goes missing when you center men. It's wild!
I have to agree. I used to say I feel like a single mom while married almost 20 years ago. It did surprise me that there was less work to do when I didn't have to clean up after my husband and could actually find things because he wouldn't be there to move crap around. Credit score improved too, he kept forgetting to pay bills on time.
Not if they see her as a sweet angel. We all want more of those. It's different when you have a support system - that's likely several woman that want to babysit. My kid is in college now, sometimes I babysit the neighbor kids so their moms can work, 'cause of the nostalgia. Empty nest syndrome is real. @@feliznavidad6958
The best part is when this tired, cranky, unshowered woman doesn’t show him enough love, praise, admiration, and physical affection, he goes out and finds a young, fresh, untethered woman who has time to make herself look nice and laugh at his corny jokes.
And I feel terrible for those women because they have no idea what they are signing up for. I mean they can have him by all means, but I feel like I want to warn a sister like "hey your life is about to be over, stay away for your own sake".
@@goldenretrievermom7945 thing is bad deeds dont go unpunished. 20 is young, but at 20 i knew married men were off limits. I had basic morals. If you knowingly help a shitty man break his vows, your punishment is to live with him.
@@Mira-gu6we Plenty of bad deeds go unpunished, that's part of the reason behind why the treatment towards women has been so horrific for so long. In addition to the severe lack of justice we're experiencing in society.
"he goes out and finds a young, fresh, untethered woman who has time to make herself look nice and laugh at his corny jokes": Not for long: He'll baby-trap her sonn enough and go look for yet another single childfree woman.
@purplelove3666 Lol the gag is in the 2010's was the age of the Pick Me. They made it seem that if a woman wasn't serving her man, it was an issue. This was also the age of the "I'm Not Like the Other Girls" and the cool girl
Men say "it's not about happiness it's about making it work" 😭😭😭. I'm like making what work? What's the point of making it work if you're not happy? Ladies the ONLY one who benefits in "making it work" is the MAN!! THAT IS WHY THEY JEEP TELLING ALL THESE LIES AND GAVE TOLD ALL THESE FALLACIES. Its so they parasite off of you
This makes me so angry! I saw my mom be a married single mom and on top of doing very little my dad would scream, throw things at her, insult her cooking, insult her appearance (he is fat and ugly and can’t cook), and he would steal money from her when he was unemployed. Disgraceful! I will never let myself marry a selfish person
I forgot to mention he cheated on her with a woman half her age and even suggested this mistress move in with us. And my mom is a beautiful woman who takes care of herself anyway, never let herself go
I think a huge, HUGE part that isn’t mentioned enough is this starts at home! With the parents who raise sons! Raise your son to be helpful and to understand domestic labor is not a gender specific thing.
@@stayroxy "but sons need to see it played out with mom and dad.": Well you gotta start somewhere and most households still don't share labor 50/50 so women will have to make the start by forcing men (husbands and sons) to do their fair share, because mom and the girls are doing theirs. "They learn by seeing how the dynamics play out.": That is percisely the problem we have since the beginning of HUMANkind. Sons learn that women and girls are their servants just like they are the fathers servants.
Same with cheating. Man cheats he expects forgiveness. Once his woman cheats he is never to be seen again. We need to take this energy and give it back to these males.
@rosannarichardson7951 the cheating one is so true. Of course cheating is wrong. However, Men cheat = forgiveness or maybe counseling in a lot of cases. Women cheat = unalived. Okay. Intense energy.
My mom did exactly that ,she contributes more financially than my dad and is better at budgetting ,she enjoys cooking and she is allergic to dust so he is in charge of cleaning if me or him dont clean and do the laundry we will not have a clean space or clothes so we do it.
That’s the most honest advice I’ve heard in a long time, “don’t be a stay at home mom, just don’t do it.” it impacts every aspect of your life including your retirement should this man divorce you.
Not all of us have unhealthy relationships. Some women only do it for 2 years. Others last longer. It's not for everyone. Those of us with privilege can take the risk. I find that too many modern men and women are low quality. They could never make decent marriage partners because they are not decent people. That's the real lesson here. Some people are probably better off single and without the drama of dating.
@@adaezez8378 it’s not anecdotal, it’s the truth of millions of women. Responsible men are not going to leave their wives high and dry. I grew up knowing a bunch of SAHMs that did nothing but win at life. Their kids won too
Smh then they’ll justify cheating on their wife cause she’s “haggard” and let herself go. She wouldn’t “let herself go” if you helped her azz in the first place. Just trifling smh. 😕
Never again. I married a man that was like 2 different people in one body. He changed the moment I said "I DO". I was basically his punching bag. He was so abusive and mean. All of his hidden trauma poured out... I was screamed at daily and thrown around and shaken weekly. I still have nightmares about him because my daughter keep him in her life ( he's her step dad no matter what). I will never date or marry again. I love my freedom and peace of mind.... love it. These men basically just want a legal slave that keeps her legs open...but, mouth shut and doesn't have thoughts and opinions... They want it this way whether you work or not. Spread the word, ladies.
Honey.... He didn't have trauma. That's a lie they tell you to keep you from realizing that biologically, they are monsters. That their monstrosity is BIOLOGICAL and it's ALL they could ever be
How can you traumatize a demon? He wasn't traumatized. He was just a normal ol guy. You haven't figured out that their default setting is hate if women and it's only society that's dampened it. If you don't believe me, look at every country that has very little protection of women. 100%%% of them look like your ex.
His "hidden trauma" is _not_ a reason to justify abuse! I am reading "why does he do that?" By Lundy Bancroft after having it highly recommended to me by my therapist and several others. I HIGHLY recommend it! It's so insightful. Found the whole pdf online too, so you can read it for free!
I remember seeing an old video from the 1960s I think about men's opinions on helping with housework. The large response from most all of the men was "of course men should help with housework! I get to have weekends off from my job, my wife should have time off too." It's kind of crazy to think that we have taken such a big step back from the 60s in this regard...
My life was much easier when I dumped my 3 kids dad. That first night, was like the biggest brick being taken off my back. And the kids and I put on Wizard of OZ and just did a camp out in the living room. And the money we saved was SO nice. We saved money because you cook different, and buy food different with a grown man living in the home. They require many more calories, and are not content with the more relaxed dinners (like mac n cheese/hot dogs), you aren't making the steaks, and big stews all the time. Or you can order out a pizza on very hard days, and the kids don't complain. My car insurance went down, as did the utility bill a bit. Plus, we could just BREATHE. No dad to tip toe around, or counter parenting. I only regretted waiting so long to pull the plug on the marriage.
Lol 😅 on the food part which is very true though 😅 what about those who you have to cook a whole different meal everyday 😅😅 and be the one to serve him as well. I've seen mostly older ww who can't have a good time out with their gfs because they have to rush back to do dinner for their husbands. I mean ..there's food ..but she has to go plate it for him. I've asked them a few times don't they own microwaves which they do 🙄
Also these men age the hell out of you while they live like teenagers and don't age a bit, stay away from them. Don't "live the good life" with them, they don't do shit I promise.
So true. In the last couple years with my ex, I hated taking photos because I looked so awful, too much weight, dark circles around my eyes and generally haggard. Fast forward, 2 years, I look and feel so much better and healthier. Meanwhile, my ex looks terrible. The toll of grocery shopping, cooking for himself, sorting all the bills and not being that extra income from my salary has aged him and put him in bad health!
Thank you for these video compilations. Anytime men mention protecting women, I want to scream. They don't protect women against a damn thing, not even loneliness. When I was in college, a man twice my size literally grabbed me and groped me, picked me up, and tried to put his tongue in my ear. I was standing in line for food, and I was so shocked I just froze. I couldnt even scream. My GIRL FRIENDS were the ones who went with me to report him to campus police! When I met up with my boyfriend later, and told him what happened, he kept saying, "Well, what could you have done to make the situation better?" I am ashamed of myself for not dumping that sorry excuse then and there. He didn't offer to walk me to class on his off days. Didn't offer to take me to get pepper spray. Didn't even try to COMFORT ME! And deep down they all know that the only thing they're even supposed to protect women from is OTHER MEN. And they don't even do that!🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
I empathize with your story--it's horrible what happened. But our culture has been indulging and emasculating men, telling them they can spend their life looking at p-rn, playing computer games and then allowing them to be soft and complacent rather than showing them how to be grown up, adult men. When do you see young men being raised to be strong, brave, responsible defenders? So we have sickos like the one who did that to you and softies like your bf.
Remind me how women were not assaulted by their own husbands before the videogames and porn. Violence against women has been an issue forever. Let's not pretend that men are some special protector when they are the ones putting women in danger since the beginning of civilization
Don't blame yourself for not dumping him. You were going through trauma and you were not able to process everything. It's horrible to deal with but very normal. It's why we have the saying "Hindsight is 20/20."
From what I've seen, the average man would gladly serve up his wife and children to an assailant on a silver platter if he thought it would save his own ass.
This is a result of the previous generation coddling boys… I’m 27 now but, growing up, my mom absolutely BABIED my two older brothers (as did ALL my girl friends moms who had sons). My oldest brother had no chores, my other brother had to vacuum the living room once a week, take out the trash twice a week, and alternate weeks deep cleaning our bathroom w me once a week. Meanwhile I had to wash everyone’s dishes every night, sweep the kitchen every night and wipe down the dining table, and deep clean the kitchen, master bathroom, laundry room, and entry way w my mom every week. That all started at the age of 10 or 11… THIS is why so many men act like this!! They’re coddled and babied growing up by our parents who played to traditional gender roles, however, society has changed and women should not be expected to work AND do ALL the cooking and cleaning and look after the kids! If I have a boy, I will never raise him like that.. those same boys who were coddled growing up are now getting into relationships where they expect their partner to work but they will still expect them to be like their mom (cook and clean for them) who never taught them life skills and catered to them 24/7.
Reminds me of a quote I read that was something along the line of: Mothers claim that boys are easier to raise than girls, but only because they outsource half of the parenting to their sons future partners.
Women raise their daughters but love their sons. Thank you for pointing out the source of modern women's problems with men , it's the mothers that raised them.
My sister, mom and I did everything in the house growing up...my brothers and father were princes and a king...the only thing they had to worry about was when the next football and basketball game is...dad worked as a lawyer, made lots of money ( which he spent on whores) mum worked full-time as an educator,and was still expected to cook, clean and make sure that the kids were presentable, to my fathers standards. We are grown now and my sister and I have thriving careers...can't say as much for my big brother.
I've lived this and ended up resenting my husband. He complained that I was lazy then left me to be a literal single mother. It was painful... Until I realised that my life was easier and better without him. 😂When he left.. It was the best thing that happened to me. 😮
This is a one of the reasons why I am in my 40’s, never been married with no kids. In all my long term relationships where we lived together, I saw the clear signs that they would be a horrible parent “partner”, so I ended it before it could be begin. They either NEVER cleaned the house, complained that I didn’t clean the house enough this week. I swear if I didn’t clean our sheets, we would have had the same ones on forever, etc etc. I saw it all, and said not husband material, not parent partner material.
Could have saved yourself the time. Any guy who wants to "live together" rather than making a commitment to you is showing you he's not husband or parent material and he probably thought you weren't wife or mom material either. If you want to see how well a guy takes care of a home, drop by his apartment. Why did you need to live with them to figure this out?
@@nicolewright8833 not sure why took the simple phrase “live together” so literally and assumed I’m talking about the guy not making a commitment towards me. I clearly said I leave them, not the other way around. Also it’s unbelievably common to turn into a different person once you go from friend to partner, or dating to living together, or living together to married. Have you not heard of “showing their true colors” only after a big commitment has happened. Come on now, people are not as simple as you make it seem.
I'm so happy the view on single mothers changes! She is not a "crazy one that ruined the family" she is the sane one that got away and stood up for herself. I'm a child of a single mom, it means a lot!
As an African woman I've always felt like marriage wasn't made with women in mind at all. Culturally and Religiously we get the short end of the stick. In my culture a man can marry as many wives as he wants, no consideration of how u feel. U do the cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids, while going to work as well. When ur husband cheats, u stay becoz society says "all men cheat" 🥲, and if u leave, then ur a failure 🙆🏽♀️(ur called a "returned soldier😂). Now that even internationally women are complaining too, i don't see that much value in marriage. Even my mom tells me not to get married😂.Ofcourse not all men are like this and some are actually really great husbands and dads. All i can say is, it will take a very special man to convince me to marry him.
Children need a Father figure. Praying that Yours do in some way. There ARE 'special" Men out there. If that's part of Your Destiny, I Pray it happens and You AND Your Children feel and KNOW You're ALL Loved Unconditionally!!!
Okay read thr Bible sis..Cheating is definitely not condoned for anyone no matter the sex..And men are supposed to love and sacrifice for their wives as well..Jesus loved women and treated women with respect..He did not view housework and chores as important as these ppl make it..I don't want to believe it was supposed to be this way..
Here's something the Trad folks are missing.. if you want to be the bread winner & have a trad stay at home wife & not help out, you should also make enough money to afford help for her in the form of caretaker , maids , live in relatives you support etc.... this is the real traditional lifestyle!! not just giving making enough money for one woman to barely manage everything on her own!
Okay then have children with a man who can get a nanny..why are we putting this on the men? These women knew who they were having kids with. They know what he makes
@@hellobrowngirl They're putting it on men because most men are not the kind of provide that lifestyle, but they're the ones that keep complaining about wanting it. They want the free house labor of a wife; they don't want to pay for it by hiring help. Some cultures hire help, but it's not the norm. You can't keep telling women to find a man that'll do x, y, z, when most men don't want to do x, y, z. There isn't enough of these men for the women that want them. Men are not nice (and they don't want to be) and they refuse to grow in their emotional intelligence to understand that raising children, cleaning, and cooking is too much for the wife to do alone.
As a central european women I'm always shocked with how much shit women in liberated countries like the USA are willing to put up with. My husband did the nights as much as I did. We split morning and evening 3 days dad 4 days mom as he's (on top.of His fulltime Job also) a firefighter. He cooks at least twice a week (I love cooking and he cooks just really spicy). Cleaning and House maintance are 50/50. Activities in Kindergarden are split equally between dads and moms. My Kid doesn't care of I'm out drinking with friends because their dad is there. Nor does she care if my husband is out drinking with friends because I'm there. Having 50/50 custody means 50/50 responsiblity. The only thing I could do for my Kid, my husband couldn't was breastfeeding. However this really doesn't start with marriage and kids in my opinion. Whenever there are new American soldiers in the Base close by you can detect them in the bar scene as they all are acting like their sperm heals cancer. Like Dude just because you got a dick doesn't mean jackshit. Usually it takes about a month for them to realise that here, you need to treat women like humans or you won't get sex. And that sexual harresment leads to a brocken nose faster than everything else.
I noticed European man are 100000x better than the American men, I been traveling Europe a lot and even on looks are much better and they treat me like gentlemen and kind, women are respected in Europe
@@ivy-gp5to yes you are right I legit don't see any difference at all between middle eastern men and American men, i am living in Europe soon since I feel safer as a woman too in Europe
My husband is Caribbean and when we had kids I FORCED him to do half of not a little more as I was pregnant and then cut open to deliver a baby, then breastfed them.. I MEANT I would never even let him get comfortable with me working and taking care of the house. If I’m going to work and contribute financially he is going to work and contribute to this house and the kids… he never wanted to not help but when we were younger he wanted to have the same social life… go work, go to the gym, go play soccer, play the video game, go out on weekends and I said not on my watch… and he adapted quickly even tho there were some arguments… I’d do the arguments all over again because I could never accept otherwise. He’s a great husband and father…
I’ve been non-married my whole life, but engaged 3 times. This is why I trusted my intuition, this is why I personally chose not to get married and have children. It is challenging enough in this world to do everything on your own in modern society. I can’t imagine adding a man-child and children on top of that. I would die of stress. My sister almost did. (Not bashing moms, I just don’t think I could do it all without a support system)
@@ashleyneco Sure, the men that she's been choosing can definitely be the case. However, let's not act like most men are nice. There are not enough "good men" for the women that want them. Men need to improve so that there's more to choose from.
@@AniWho268 you don't know if most men are good or bad, there are good men and women, just like there are bad men and women, just because you or any other woman had bad experiences with men, doesn't mean all men are bad or the same.
I'm a conservative Christian and I know there are a lot of young women that are conservative that want to leave the marriage due to this going on but are stuck. It's not always by choice. It's lack of support. Some of these women have been groomed since they were children to believe the trad lie. It took me a LONG time to find a descent church and find an all-woman's bible school class that was ON BOARD. We have one married woman in our class, and she doesn't really show up that much because she is the odd man out. (no offense to her, she is a good person). It's difficult to break away from the stepford programing and that goes for all cultures and demographics. The moment you start standing up for yourself you are told you are selfish, a feminist, and have a rebellious Jezebel spirit. I am none of those. But honestly. IF I had to do it all over again. I wouldn't have gotten married or had children. It's heartbreak. I can only hope this young generation of ladies can break the cycle and think of themselves first before taking marriage and children into consideration. Thanks for the outtakes, Priscilla, those were very good examples, (by the way, that look you had on your face after the first outtake was hilarious, the situation wasn't funny, but the look was funny, it's the look we as women, give ALL the time.) I think as women we need to start filming more and more and more of these and placing them on social media. Exposure is key.
Thank you for this comment ☺️ the part that if you dare speak about divorce in the church you are called a feminist, selfish,rebellious and have a Jezebel spirit is the problem and some of these long suffering wives are so proud of themselves for how long they’ve been able to endure 😅
@@Priscilla_Boye I agree 💯. I have a catholic (no offense to the catholics, I'm southern Baptist myself.)neighbor who is married to a TERRIBLE drunkard and she thinks she is a strong 💪 woman because she can deal with it, she even goes around bragging about it, like it's a flex and telling everyone it's part of her exotic culture. She's been putting up with it for over thirty years. She's not strong, she's programmed and foolish. BELIEVE ME, he takes full advantage of her beliefs. She's isolated, her family lives in another country and she has no job. It's sad. This is what the PPB are up too. They treat these foreign women WORSE.
Wow, I was really touched by your honest comment here, especially given you come from a conservative Christian background and culture…and you’re right, it comes down to social and cultural conditioning and being surrounded by people who will malign you and make you out to be the devil if you try to stand up for yourself or she’d light on what should be clear and day to anyone! Stay strong and I hope you find the courage to seek the freedom and emotional and mental peace you deserve. Just remember, you don’t live in Saudi Arabia or some other crazy place that will kill women who try to leave their husbands. You live in a FREE country and have every right to leave your husband and a marriage that is sucking the life out of you (in fact you’re lucky to have that right…something many women in the world do not have). Wishing you all the best. ❤
Don't fall for the propaganda, focus on your career and health/longevity ladies. The only difference I've seen of marriage and divorce is when the woman stops doing all the work for the manchild who hid behind masculinity.
i've seen women say that their workload got lighter. it makes sense. one less manchild to take care of. plus, she doesn't have to worry about mandatory bedroom activities.
I wrote a book on being single and happy. This is the best example of why. If you are not happy with yourself as a single woman, looking for a man to come in and "save you," or are marrying because your friends are, then 9 times out of 10 this is the kind of relationship you will end up with. It goes for men too. If you walk into a relationship looking for a maid and a baby maker then wonder why she is not all pretty for you when you are ready or she walks out on you because she is tired of doing all of the caring. This is what you get. If you are a man looking to save a broken woman because you want to play hero, once you have saved her, she no longer needs you. Marry, because the person you have found is a whole happy person and you are a whole happy person bringing peace and joy to each other's life. Marry because you are best friends, cheerleaders and partners for each other.
True. I used to attract douchebags many times (both as friends and as boyfriends) and I finally realised that it was not just coincidence that it kept happening. Raising my standards is number one, and number two is to work on myself. I'm still a work in process, having to learn and unlearn many old bad habits of mine. I want to get married, but I'm not doing that unless I find a guy that genuenly respects me and loves me as much as I do him. Even after 2 years since I broke up with my abusive ex I still catch myself "bending over backwards" to please people that honestly don't deserve it... It's a learned habit that I need to work on, and it's good that I'm aware of it now. And being bullied through all my upbringing and abused by a parental figure seriously warped my perspective on what friendship and love is suppose to look like. I didn't know until I was 25-27 that being treated like I didn't matter is not a true friendship. It's extremely one-sided care while the other person only takes but never gives. If they give it's usually in the form of a nasty comment that they later pretend was "just a joke". Nah... I can do so much better than that and I do deserve better. Until I find it I'm staying single, sorry douchebags but I'm not your plaything anymore...
And it's not even a woman or man issue, in my life I have been mistreated by men and women equally as much. Being a garbage person has no gender, and no specific look. You can be ugly or pretty and be just as garbage. I think men are probably just as abused and mistreated by their partners but it's not talked about as much. I've known several women personally, close ex friends of mine etc who are the laziest, most manipulative, nastiest women you will ever meet. Do you think they are good partners to their boyfriends? The only way to "please" such a person is to be 100% submissive, never tell them no, never have any opinions for yourself. When you tell such a person no all hell breaks lose. And that's why they are no longer in my life. And many men are like this too, like I said, garbage has no gender.
This very true. Both genders need to speak up without villianizing the other gender. I have seen those garbage women too, but it seems that there is a growing trend of men looking for women who not only work full time but also do all of the housework and child care. They seem oblivious to the fact that they cannot expect a partner to give 200% working 24/7 while they put in a 40 to 50 hour week and get to come home and relax. The idea is that both should support each other. That childcare should involve both parents. That if one person cooks the other cleans. If one puts the kids to bed, the other can get them up and ready. Teamwork makes the dream work.
The videos in the beginning were sad especially the mother who fell holding one of her children while accidentally knocking down the other 😔. You could hear the fear and shock in her voice. And she was not just carrying her child but two big bags as well! And then that scrote is just calmly walking towards them.
men being protectors is a myth. he really does not care. i just watched a video where 2 men were selling their daughters in afghanistan after the taliban took over because they couldn't find work. if it were a man's job to protect his family, selling his daughters wouldn't even be on the table. one man sold his 9 year old daughter to a 55 yr old man and the other sold his 10 yr old daughter to a 70 yr old man. the second man also had a 4 yr old who he was considering selling. i think each girl was sold for around $2000. men only look out for themselves.
That is disturbing disgusting disappointing and very sad 💔💔 the 50 and 70 year old buying them 🤯 and they are even considering selling a 4 year old 😭 these are babies.
I totally agree. I will say though…and I mean this as support…LADIES STOP DOING IT ALL! Just stop. STOP! If there’s a mess…let it pile up. Don’t take everything out of the car at once. Send him to do it. If he gives you grieve…do not take that shit! Men need to be called out.
I could go on for YEARS about my time in this situation. And there was no one to talk to, all I got from any other woman I tried to vent to was how "lucky" I was to be a SAHM, ignoring that every time money got tight, he'd send me out to work and then take my "allowance" for himself. So, I'd do it all, and work, and have to pay for all of the groceries and diapers, etc. Then things would ease up and he'd start complaining about having to "babysit" his own child and he'd push me to quit. Wash, rinse, repeat. And that was just part of the crap I endured. This was in the 80s-90s. It makes me so sad that young women are still being expected to put up with this utter 💩 after all of these years.
I was a single stay at home mom for 10 years. My job felt never ending. He had the nerve to tell me that I had the best life. Yes I had my time with the kids I loved dearly. Then when he wanted me to go back to work. I wanted to talk to him about how everything will get done. He would not have the conversation with me. I started planning for divorce and planned to get my job after the divorce was finalized.
Had the SAME situation. Didn’t want to talk about how he would contribute other than just financially once I switched from part time to full time after last kid went to preschool. Had the audacity to act like I was the one not doing enough even though I was a MSM. Absolute coward.
So true! My ex told me he was a „family man“- no, he wasn’t. He used me to make his parents happy and give them grandkids, left me almost all the work while I worked a part-time job as well and as soon as the kids were older teenagers, he started to look for a younger woman to replace me. I am so much happier without him and haven’t missed him a single second because he never helped me anyway while I was constantly on duty with him around.
I managed to take a picture of some 350 pound dude sitting his behind on the grocery table in the self-check. He allowed his woman to pick up the groceries and scan them out, while he just sat his lazy behind there watching her. I also saw another dude too lazy to take the cart back to the store, he demanded an elderly worker to do it. His woman had the kids and put them inside, he got inside his car and he couldnt even back up properly because he got on his phone. I have witnessed men walking out in busy traffic leading the women and children behind them. The women just follow them.
These men are lazy. I simply won't tolerate the disrespect. I was dating this guy who wouldn't get out of the car to pump my gas. After a little light arguing back and forth, he reluctantly got out of the car and pumped my gas. When he was done, I drove off and left his azz standing at the gas station. I'm a one and done type of person. A man only has one time to show me he doesn't care about me and I'm done with him for good.
Lived this life. Nobody can measure the toll the stress inflicts on your life and health. Now in my late 40s I can feel the aftereffects of it on my mental and physical health. My prayers for the women who are still living this. I hope y'all get the courage to change your situation.
I've GOTTA comment on this. Let Me make this crystal clear: I am a Man. Single. No kids. In My 'mature' years. There's one BIG problem with these Women that say Their man isn't doing his fair share. Ladies, hate to burst Your bubble but You don't have a man. You have a BOY pretending he's a Man. A REAL Man is RESPONSIBLE for His FAMILY. Wife first. Kids second. Everything like career, yada yada comes far after that. One thing ALL Women should ask while dating is "how are YOU going to support Me once We're Married and ESPECIALLY when We start a Family?" If They say "that's the Wife's job - WALK AWAY. That's NOT Marriage - that's playing HOUSE. If They say "I'll support You and Our Family in every way possible", and then They don't, REMIND THEM of what They said. REAL MEN keep Their Word. ENFORCE that. As a Single Man, I would KILL not only to have a Loving Wife where We don't do 50/50 but instead do 100/100 - that means BOTH ALL IN - and would KILL even more to have Children, a Legacy, to call Our Own. No Me and Her. Only US. What affects YOU affects ME. And if You're struggling, WE'RE struggling. I want to say to all those BOYS out there - GET OFF YOUR LAZY BUTTS AND START NOT ONLY ACTING LIKE A HUSBAND AND A FATHER SHOULD BUT BE THE MAN OF THE HOUSE. You work. She works. You provide AND She provides, too in ways You have NO IDEA about. Maybe You didn't have a Father what showed You CORRECT what REAL RESONSIBILE MEN DO. Well, find another Man who has a GREAT MARRIAGE and has kids and ask Him what His secret is to having a GREAT MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LIFE. I guarantee You He'll say "She comes first and so does My Family!" because THAT'S THE TRUTH. Ladies, if after ALL that doesn't bring changes to Your Marriage and Your Family Life, trust Me, there are PLENTY of REAL MEN out Here that would LOVE to treat You with the RESPECT and CARE and SUPPORT that EVERY LOVING WIFE needs, as well as be a REAL Man and BE what a FATHER should be to His Children. Man - YOU are showing YOUR KIDS how to grow up and treat THEIR WIVES and HUSBANDS and what a GOOD FATHER is. STOP BEING A SELFISH PIG - there. I said it! YOU set the example. It's YOUR House, NOT Your Kingdom or Your castle. In a TRUE Marriage, you PARTNER, not reign. Women begin over 80% of all divorce proceedings. TIME TO WAKE UP BOYS! If You keep going the way You are, or for a better way of saying it - You AREN'T - one Day You'll be in an empty house having to pay child support and do Your own laundry and all those things You TOOK FOR GRANTED in Your EX (and while We're at it, what makes YOU so special that You can't learn to clean or wash or say to that GREAT Woman You had sex with and MARRIED FOR BETTER OR WORSE "hey, go take a LONG bath - I'll take care of everything...") And maybe, She'll get Wise and find Someone like ME that will Love Her the way it's SUPPOSED TO BE and all You'll have left is one thing - REGRET. So Men, what are YOU going to do? The balls - literally - are in YOUR court....find some. Time's ticking. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR???!?!?
I loved this video. What really hit me was towards the end when you stated that about men enjoying women struggling. I too was a married single mother until I decided to get a divorce for many different reasons. The best decision that I ever made besides having my children. A lot of men around me, including my ex-husband were the most satisfied when the women in their life such as girlfriend, wife or sister were struggling or having difficulties. They took major joy in that. Quite a few of them are narcissists.
"Quite a few of them are narcissists." I think that this is something I've always known. None of the men in my life display empathy or compassion, and that makes me wonder if they're capable of even having those emotions. Men scare me. I try to stay away from them.
@@kromeo8949 Yes. I would love to have a relationship more for companionship, but I totally understand and accept that that may not happen. It seems to be too hard to find anyone that is genuine and trustworthy. So I’m content with being single and raising my children. It’s for the best.
I could never understand why my ex wouldn't properly help me when I was struggling, once it put me in a hospital (for a few hours, I was sent home as it all was simply due to stress, panic attack which showed itself as being really sick), I came back home from hospital and NOTHING changed. I never thought that he enjoyed seeing me like that, now it's breaking my heart, did he really just not care or was there some enjoyment too? That's scary
@@mpGreen03 That must have been such a lonely experience. I am so sorry you went through that. I hope you're safe and happier now and you're in a better place.
The first person I ever heard coin the term “Single married woman” is Cyn G. Even if she didn’t create the term she definitely brought awareness to it. Can we please give her her flowers 💐
So weird how the term is so obvious because I used to look at my mom as a married single mom ever since I was in my early teens 20 years ago in Zimbabwe. I literally used that term a lot as a genuine fear for myself as an adult
This is why I absolutely LAUGH whenever I see men whining about the "mAle LonLiNeSS ePidEmiC" 🤡. They brought this on themselves. My mom got lucky with my dad. They both worked and my dad would do the grocery shopping and cooking and my mom would do the cleaning. They both worked very physically demanding jobs but they also both put in equal effort in raising me and maintaing the home. My dad is my role model and taught me to never settle for an adult child.
My x was just like this. I stayed for 17 years as a single married mom. I even worked and went to school. He hated me going to school and said I should only do homework on "my time" which was after every one else went to sleep. My heart goes out to all women in this situation.
I lived this same life! I even put him through college before I finally realized he would never return the favor and left to finally finish a degree I had started before meeting him. Glad you're free now too ❤
For any men wondering about the "male loniness" epidemic, see above video. Additionally, even before kids women are still left short. Women's pleasure isn't a priority. There is a much higher risk for women in having sex, with men. Risks include: Physical and mental abuse All risks involve pregnancy (assuming she's not having casual sex but that's meh on quality). All risks involving him killing her since statistically the most likely person to kill a woman is her male partner, and the most common cause of death for pregnant women is homicide. Like, I'm imagining the mental burden even before becoming a mother where her pleasure wasn't even something he could give her in the same quality as she gave him. The sheer volume of women who aren't satisfied by sex with men, and need to finish or satisfy themselves afterward, and then he gets mad about it. So many men are just selfish, on a fundamental level, and nobody wants a selfish uncaring partner who thinks some flowers every now and then or maybe gifts can, or even comes close to being equal to actually doing the labor.
@@merulaamethyst2248 At one point women were 25, and they were taking the men from the older women. When these women reached an older age, now they too experienced the "new" 25 year old women taking the men from them.
This problem has always existed. Men have a natural bent toward being possessive of women, abusive, and seeing them as their servant. But they must be corrected and shown how to have a loving relationship with women. Christ instructed men to love women as much as he loved the church--that was in a time when women weren't respected. Our culture doesn't want Christ's instruction, doesn't want to wait for sex until after marriage, doesn't want ANY limits on relationships and sexuality, so we should expect this disaster.
@@nicolewright8833 No, we are possessive because we are seen as responsible for the woman. Part of being a provider and protector is that we have a woman to protect. The point of having a woman is so that we can invest in her so that there is a relationship out of it. You view it as if we keep you chained to the kitchen.
This bring up the old “joke” about how he has four kids, and I have five. I stopped washing his clothes, fixing his food, cleaning up after him, etc. I started dropping the care of the kids in his lap on days I felt I needed me time, and I left so he had no choice but to help with the kids. He had to figure it all out for himself. It’s gotten a lot better since I decided I was done with tolerating it. Good luck my married single ladies!
This would be me! I'm over it. My favorite was when my son was around 14ish and my ex said "Well, he is kinda self automated, so what stress do you have?" Um..yeah. Divorced, lost 80lbs, clean home and at peace. You are a single mom with someone going behind you and undoing all your hard work and not caring. I rather have 4 puppies.
Lol! The funny thing is they never consider compounded stress related issues! Your child didn't get to 14 by himself. The effects of 14yrs of being a single mom is lost on him. The burnout and exhaustion comes faster as you age and you have over done it earlier in life.
Yes!!! I’d clean, clean, clean just for him to come behind and mess everything up!!! He’d leave shoes, cords, and change on the floor for me to trip over, and I had the baby. I’d have to keep repeating myself about how it was dangerous since we have a baby who likes to put everything in her mouth, and it fell on deaf ears!!!
THIS is what society wants to fearmonger us single childfree women and missing out on.😂😂😂😂😂 Yea give me the 50 cats and 100 hyenas for 500 Alex. The lady at 5:00 is a FANTASTIC birth control commercial.🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
Omg she really is and I feel bad I was suffocating just looking at her and then that gross thing just sleeping there. Definitely will kms before I do that.
Working full-time, finishing grad school, single mom of 4…life is easier than when I was a stay at home mom for over 10 years as a “married single mom”…that’s how much he dragged me.
My dad asked me why I didn’t want to get married nor have children, I replied to him that it was because of him being my eye opener to the whole marriage situation because he was the one who made my mom a single married mother even when we moved to the states. It was just the 3 of us without my dad in the picture.
@@HaitianBlackGinger11 My dad said to me that he was disappointed with me and even called me a “lesbian”, because that’s like a woman’s duty on getting married and having children specially at my age (I’m 27). He even said to me that also he was surprised by how I gave the direct answer that it was because of him I didn’t want nothing to do with marriage. 😂 Funny thing how he later complained with my maternal grandfather about what happened and my mom’s family congratulated me instead that I was firm in my belief and told my dad why I didn’t want such things.
As soon as I heard the term "married single mom" and saw all those clips, I was met with a wave of deja vu. This was my mom! My mom was a married single mom! This is why she left!!
I really love what you said at the end, because within our patriarchal societies, where women shoulder the burden of labor (physical, work, mental, emotional etc), it really begins to feel like many men are happy when they see women suffer. To 'know their place' and be reminded of it. Not only is it heartbreaking and awful to see how sad and alone and burnt out these women are, it is incredibly upsetting.
I'm sorry but you can't say it's a patriarchal society if you are literally doing the same thing as the men, which is what you fought for. What would you call a society in which women were only allowed to stay in the kitchen if this is a patriarchy? Makes no sense. But I know feminism and logic don't mix.
@@Jaime-eg4eb "What would you call a society in which women were only allowed to stay in the kitchen if this is a patriarchy". Tell me you're dense AF without telling me you're dense AF. As if those women WANTED to be in the kitchen and were not TOLD TO. If you're low-key troll, of your mom forgot to push out your brain out of her womb when giving birth to you.
Something noone on this video talks about is that not only are women doing the cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids, but the men expect the women to take care of them too. I was dating this loser once and at dinner with all of our mutual friends he told a story about how his mother cuts his fathers mean, then he slid his plate over to me. I slid it back and dump him, and he had the audacity to not understand why he was being dismissed.
I'm going to be honest this is the Revelation I had growing up with 4 males in the house. Even though my father was a great worker and provider also had a bonus thing where he did cook he didnt clean up after himself that well and my mom would be constantly irritable, cleaning up after him and never gave herself time to do anything for herself. Yet he would say I know your going to clean and cook and take great care of me. So it's expected from men they feel even entitled but I'm not trying to fall into that trap.
Just wanna say something: It’s crazy to me that men will tell women to find better men while leaving them/being another child in the marriage, teaching their kids that that’s how a man is “supposed to act”. Having zero clue about why their teenage daughter is dating disrespectful Brian that smokes weed & plays video games in his mom’s basement.
Yeah, exactly. It keeps falling on women to find better men, while men are doing nothing to be the better men for women to find. They just want to avoid the accountability of their actions. They want to stay the way they are, so they keep throwing all of the blame back on women, knowing good and well that most men are the wrong men. The pool of suitable male partners is very small, and men know that.
She said that was the first shower ahe had--- IN A WEEK. 😱 My heart broke for her. Glad women are waking up. I have friends who are SAHMs--- IT IS ALOT OF WORK especially when your hubby does NOTHING. No way-- this is NUTS.
When I was married, over two decades ago, I was a single mom for years! I finally woke up! It was some of the loneliest times of my life!! I can truly relate to all of this❤
The Trad-Wife Bubble was always going to bust. It's like people learned NOTHING from what our mothers, grandmothers, and aunties went through and want to try out what they left behind and feel happier and healthier for doing so.
Unless the trad wife grew up in a third world country with no other options, or was raised 100% in a traditional setting, and knew no other life, I have NO sympathy for these women. They know exactly what they're doing.
I remember a woman who was an entrepreneur when she was in her late 40s. She said that she had been happy in her marriage as a stay at home wife and had no complaints. Then on her 40th birthday her husband took her to see the solicitor where she was told if ever she left her husband she would have nothing as everything down to her clothes were her husbands. That day she said all feelings for her husband died. She got a small job and saved up to study. Then she got her qualifications and once she had enough money set up her business that became very successful because she was determined never to rely on a man ever again.
Yeah, that's why it's so dangerous to be an housewife with no income. That position of complete dependence is extremely dangerous. So many women have had to start their lives over from scratch, because the guy they were with left them with nothing. This is why men want traditional women, complete dependence means complete control over the woman.
I’ve been saying for years. Don’t get married or have kids unless he’s rich. Parenting is not easy, he should enough money to pay for nannies, house cleaners & a cook. If you’re in a relationship with a man & you have to work, you’re basically single.
@@jasonkoroma4323then you need to not get married and or have kids. You have nothing for your legacy and they will struggle. Stop believing that struggledom is how your kids are supposed to be raised! Just because you went through it doesn’t mean that they should too. My gosh what is wrong with you?
5:27 - This poor woman is so unhealthy and after describing her life, I can see it’s sleep deprivation and exceedingly high cortisol levels and inflammation caused the the extreme amount of stress she is exposed to daily. So sad 😢
I know exactly how she feels, it’s like she’s narrating my life. All that stress and extra cortisol, I feel like I have the same exact body shape as her. I don’t get to eat uninterrupted and don’t eat before 2-4 pm most days, usually only have dinner but I’m obese and look like a balloon. If it weren’t for my parents, I would have gone off the deep end a long ass time ago.
I was watching one of those reddit stories about a lady whose husband was cheating while she was pregnant with THEIR THIRD KID She dumped his ass, moved away, and at the end she said that her house was more clean and tidy, she was a lot less stressed and the morning routine worked waaaay better Like. Imagine your husband being the one that's messing up your life, even without the cheating! Imagine the person who's supposed to love you and cherish you and share the load life gives you becoming just one more burden. A heavy heavy burden, bc that man is a fully grown adult that can fend for himself, he just doesn't. That's why the statics show that single women are happier. That's why, even with the difficulties, divorced moms are seeing that their life is actually a lot easier. And then men have the AUDACITY to question the women who are choosing to stay single and child free. You are the reason, buddy. You are the reason.
Did you ladies talk to your husbands that you needed some help? I think the problem here is the lack in communication. It sounds to me like in your house you both do negotiating and working out your problems. These ladies don't even mention that they try to talk to their husbands about their needs.
@@toxicmale2264doesn’t he have a brain n common sense about what a partnership entails. you think women dont talk about it- they are just called nags n bit*** for having conversations n gold diggers if they end up divorcing as a result of it.
@@toxicmale2264Oh We were married for 10 years. I told him in detail the things that were bothering me several times. I don't drop hints either. In the end he basically said it was my problem. He told me I needed to get an apartment and figure it out and then I could come back to him once I figured out why I wasn't happy😂Its been 2 years and we've been divorced just over 1 year. I was gone for 6 months before he moved his new gf into the house. She is newly immigrated and is just learning English. I feel bad for her because she's trapped into being his maid now and can't leave but I feel mostly sad for my children because he moved a complete stranger into their house and is getting new family photos with her in them instead of me...He didn't even ask them if they were ok with her moving in. He thinks he is the main character and we're all just actors that can be replaced mid-season. So to answer your question: You can talk to people like this all you want but deep down the only feelings/opinions they care about are their own.
@@toxicmale2264 Kid, She doesn't have to talk to her husband - She ain't the manager of a grown ass man. He is the one who is supposed to partake in it, ask, communicate etc. These ladies don't even mention they try to talk ? TBH, are you so incapable of realising that they are tired of attempting to talk ? These Ladies get termed 'The Nagging Ones' if they try to talk. What excuse do you have of the Woman in the Video walking with a Bag and a Child, and her husband walking with his hands free ? Doesn't he have working eyes to see that She's carrying too much ? Even the crowd saw that. You guys will have such brainless excuses every single time. Incompetent Idiots.
Sorry but on behalf of some single moms that were bullied and bashed, I want to see some apology videos from the married women who thought they were so much better and more special than single morhers, trying to tear down the self worth of single moms (which ALSO meant a child would be parented by a depressed, broken, bullied single mother). *Where are those videos?* Where are the "I was wrong", understanding, empathetic videos for single mothers? There should be dozens atleast!
Well said, I'm a single mum too, and these smug ugly married women make me sick. Maybe now they will understand that a stupid ring on their finger means nada.
@@crazymusicgrlcheesecake alimony is not the equivalent of trauma or raising a child alone while these men roam around scott free without responsibility
You won't see them. It may cause interference with the money play. They gotta still sneak around, hide their diseases, play like everything is perfectly okay while slow burning due to their amazing husband love for the trash bin. Nobody never hears a peep from them. Not good for the image awards.
I am a woman turning 40 this year and more and more i realise that choosing not to have children has been THE BEST decision i made for myself. I don't know how women deal with this mess.
Thats why i called off my engagement. I was doing EVERYTHING while engaged. It was supposed to be the best pre years before marriage...nope. i called it off. His family disappeared. I made the best decision. Where are the MEN THAT PROVIDE AND PROTECT?!!!
I was a married single mom. He was a "perfect dad" in public and whenever someone else was around so the restaurant scenes didn't happen, but as soon as we were by ourselves... he did nothing but criticize me.
I know how lucky I am to have my husband as a life partner. While our marriage dynamic is that of one with more traditional gender roles, I have NEVER been made to feel that I was ever "less than" or subservient in any way. It's a truly an equal partnership. I personally believe that a lot of men say they want a traditional housewife, but what they really mean is that they want a maid to have sex with, dominate, and control. They do not understand that the strength of a "traditional marriage" stems from the fact that each partner contributes to the household equally, albeit in different forms. I've been that woman stuck in a relationship with a horribly toxic and narcissistic partner, prior to meeting my husband. Our marriage is successful because of the respect, kindness, friendship, empathy, loyalty, love, and gratitude that we hold for one another. Ladies and Gents, don't settle for anything less.
Saying that to my GFriends. In the 2000. Many side eyes and angry comment. Little that they know i was the "the parentified," child since i am 6 years old. Now in my 40s, they said...they envy me. After bashing me as spinster😂😂 Nope. No man child and their spawn for me.
Interesting comment. I've been thinking about wedding traditions lately, especially the focus on the bride in her beautiful dress. To be honest, sometimes it has parallels to almost like a sacrificial rutual. The woman gets honoured and admired in all her beauty and glory one last time before she enters a life of servitude to others... Think about it.
@@eulennachathen449 Very good point. Also, the groom isn't focused on that day, but the groom will be the wife's focus for the rest of her life. Trading one day of happiness for one lifetime of servitude and misery. Marriage really is a scam to women.
Start planning your escape. Put aside pennies. Look at places to live. Start a tiny business, make it look like a hobby. Use contraception, in secret if you must. Start figuring out which friends and relatives will help, and who will not.
@@michellejarvis7878 I'm going to second this, *avoid having more kids* get on long term birth-control if you can (an IUD, or Implant)! Build contacts that will help you get out. Open a bank account at another bank he doesn't know about (at a credit union if possible) and start putting away whatever money you can without him noticing. See if any of your family or friends has a space you can go (even just a piece of empty land you can put a small trailer on to live in with you kids for a while once you get out). Wishing you the best.
I was a breadwinner and homemaker now a happy single mother... so glad i got rid of the burden that was my husband ... dont intend on ever letting any man do that to me ever again
I never understood why women/mothers did these duties for so long with no help. Once I saw how my husband acted after childbirth, I moved in with my mom for help. It takes a village
Well, it used to take a man all day to cut lumber for the house, slaughter and prepare animals, make repairs, walk or horse-ride to and from work, and kids used to be able to wander freely without the fear of being preyed on by other people because we literally used to know all 40 people in our communities. Men used to have VERY important roles in the family unit, because his work was what meant everyone survived. Nowadays, with modern tech, its negates a lot of mens' roles. As a woman I can afford all the technology I need to bridge the gap physically by being able to get a job. I can buy chainsaws, drive, hunt, shoot, mow, grow, harvest, AND on top of that as woman I know how to sew, clean, cook, and take care of kids. What can a man really do for me then besides keep me company if he doesn't know how to participate just as equally? When women went for equality women went for it. Men just weren't ready to catch up with the times. I sure hope the do. A lot of men are just sorely underprepared for the modern marriage market.
As a Christian woman whose still single and young (mid twenties) so many of my other friends got married for the wrong reasons. To experience sex. Now the outcomes wre catastrophic and they dont want to be married anymore. I dont think they realized it was more than that. My reason for staying a virgin is not only tied to religious reasons but i think about "if i do this is there a chance this relationship will last without a sign of commitment" or "if i do this will i be happy with myself after" its not just about my religious beliefs but its about how i think or feel about making a huge step like that in my life. So to fellow Christians stop risking a faulty and unequally yoked marriage because you want to lose your virginity. Sex has become more fantasized and praised than what it actually is. Please stop.
Virginity doesn't exist medically. It's a concept and it's sexist; tied to purity culture and fucked up a lot of people and mainly targets women. I'm not saying go out and have sex willy nilly, balance is key.
From what I've seen, that's part of the reason abstinence only education is so bad. If you restrict information and experience from that like a constrictor wrapping around a neck, you're not gonna get good outcomes. People are gonna do stupid ass things, and experience horrible ones. I never wanted to sleep with anyone, but I did live in a place where non-virgins were seen as dirty. Horrible marriages, and abusive situations that were hidden by the victim so more abuse wouldn't be inflicted upon them by their family. It's not necessarily because they made a stupid decision. It could be because their education promoted an unwise human being. That's what I've seen. If they weren't brought up on absence only education, or they weren't socially forced to restrict themselves, then I have no experience with how that could have happened. Just a different perspective. I wasn't brought up super religiously, so I wasn't ashamed of something I never did like my religious cousins/peers. Even if I had done that stuff as a teenager I would have been safe back home. Your situation could very well be entirely different than what I'm trying to talk about, and I fully acknowledge that, and retract my statements if that is the case.
@@jewels3400 I get what you're saying! I can only speak from a perspective that comes from what I've seen in the Christian community. Some actually fall in love and get married, and build a life together. But more than half were married to experience sex, and their marriages failed. In the church of course remaining a virgin is the goal but some don't wait until marriage which is their own choice of course. But unfortunately virgins who rush to get married to experience that side of life, always talk about regret and how they should have waited on someone else. Sex is TOO glamorized in society.
My sister is a married, single mom and bad enough that he doesn’t help but what’s worse is that he’s just another person for her to care for. She works a 9-5 job that requires her to be available after hours and on weekends, then she comes home to cook, clean, help the kids with homework…all by herself. To get a better picture, their kids’ school is in their neighborhood. If the kids are sick and need to be picked up from school she calls me to pick them up. I work from home and so does her husband but I live in a different city and he’s their father. Tell me that’s not insanity!
An anecdote from a friend: He saw a man in maybe his mid 20's come into a hospital waiting room with his HEAVILY pregnant partner and there was only one seat left and the guy TOOK it. His pregnant partner stood there like she was used to it while he took out his phone. He almost started scrolling, but my friend (a very large man in his 50's, who teaches self defense to young girls and women) shouted at him from across the room "GTFO of that seat. Wtf is wrong with you?!". The piece of crap was ready to start something, realised he was being challenged by a more physically imposing man and stood up. He stood not because he realised he was in the wrong, but because he couldn't intimidate the other person.
That's so amazing that your friend stood up for somebody thats a stranger and maybe that woman realised she should leave her loser bf.
Often men that behave like that are afraid of normal men
What's sad about this situation is that she could have gotten blamed for it when they got home. This is sad. Men do dumb stuff like this, get held accountable, but take it out on the wife. Sad.
And it’s gonna take her at least a year of dealing with a baby alone before she realizes how fucked she is
totally out of context! Maybe the wife felt BETTER standing , maybe that convo was already had between them!
A lot of men will state “well, women were fine doing this in the 50’s and 60’s” without mentioning how high the rates of suicide, alcoholism and addiction to painkillers was of SAHM.
And men paid bills and brought maids then
All this mental healthy indicators are worse today among women than they were decades ago.
@@Luxiouriousprettymethat has never really been true.. only a small percentage of wealthy white people colud afford a maid or even the wife not working.. most women worked and had side hustle but got no credit for it.
Pretty sure suicide rates are higher now than ever
And spouse murder. Men were killing their wives, women poisoning their husbands, and children forced into the world against the will of the mother were thrown in dumpsters and fireplaces. There was a hell of a lot more domestic murder, I don't think it's a time to idolize
One of my pet peeves is when I hear men saying “I have to babysit my kids tomorrow.” If they’re your kids YOU ARE NOT BABYSITTING!!! This attitude is part of a bigger problem. They have a very rigid perception of gender roles, so if they do anything like cooking or taking care of the kids, they consider it as they’re doing YOUR job.
🎯 Exactly! Ugh! "Babysit?" It's being a parent. So many women are doing men's job by providing and paying bills.
@@msch3891 I also hate how when fathers are alone with the kids, when the mothers get home the fathers “punch out” and think they’re done parenting for the day.
I hadn't really thought about it until Coworker A grumbled about being forced to babysit his kids after work that night so his wife could go do something and Coworker B turned around and said, "Dude, if they're your kids, it's called parenting." It reinforced my opinion that A was a jackass and B was a pretty cool guy.
Yeah. They wash 5.5 dishes and sulk and start a fight because you didn't congratulate them with a kiss and fuck 😅😅
@@donnamurphy8551or when they start something with the kid thry want you to end it. Like the kid starts crying ..oh go to mum or they come running to give you the kid ....nope ..deal with it. Or like they wanna give the kid a shower but want you to dress them and feed them .. nope ... deal with it all mate. Tf. 😅😅 it's suddenly not as easy as they thought.
Im so glad women are speaking up against the propaganda
@user-pl6to8pf3rOfcourse, these men are no help.
@user-pl6to8pf3r or most of them are working or self-employed! If they're on welfare checks it's because they can't count on you !
Same
The real propaganda is woman being expected to be 50/50. I rather be a traditional wife than a 50/50 girlfriend
@@beautiful_wonderfullymade marriage is a slavery institution for women. If you can provide for yourself you won’t need a man. Learn to decentralize men from your life.
My life is easier as a single mom of 2 than it ever was as a married single mom. My ex husband was like a whole other child. I did all the cooking and cleaning. We both worked full-time yet his excuse for not helping around the house was that his job is “more stressful” than mine. Glad I’m out of that situation. I’m happy with just myself and my kids ❤
they regress into childhood, when that isn't marriage
Idk you Erica and am proud of you! Be sure to be kind to yourself now. Best of luck💖
@@haitiqueen0119 thank you so much 😊
@@Erica-wz8yv Sure darling, your story is relatable to so many. The one who REALLY lost in your situation is your ex. He will never I repeat never find another amazing woman as yourself ever but that's not your problem. Take everything as a lesson learned and move forward, work on being the best version of yourself.
@@Erica-wz8yv sending you lots of hugs from New York, stay blessed 🙏
I had an ex-boyfriend that was raised in an all boy family by a mom who enabled and spoiled them, neither of their parents made them become men. No accountability, no responsibility, no manners, nothing. I was young and in love but the final moment for me was when we pulled up to
Taco Bell and I forgot my wallet. I only asked for one taco, so $2. He enraged, responded with “if we ever get married you’ll never see a dime from me.” The funny part was that I was the one from a wealthy family, in school, on track
To be successful, not him lol. This was a week after he stopped to grab McDonald’s after I spent 3 hours making food. I had an “aha” moment. This can never be my long-term guy. He can never be a father. A husband. Not even a friend. He is meant to be alone. And I let him go. Clean cut. He ended up continuing loserdome, getting arrested, being an idiot.
I ended up meeting a devilishly handsome, educated, successful, kind, specialized doctor at the hospital I worked at. It was truly love at first sight. I saw his baby blue eyes and he saw my big (HUGE) brown eyes and it was done. Dated 5 months, engaged 1 years, married almost 12, several perfect kids. He would walk through hellfire if it meant I would smile. He cooks, cleans, works, loves, laughs, giggles, dances. I also cook, clean, work, dance, giggle, etc.
the funny part is after the loser found out I was engaged he tried to call me and come stalk me at work and tell me to “make a choice.” I was like, “I did. It’s him. And you should leave because if he finds you here, he will beat the shit out of you.”
For every POS guy, there’s also a wonderful man, who values women, values love, values family, and would fall on a sword 1000 times for his love. Don’t give up! But just be sure that you are also a prize that is deserving of a good man, you need to be loyal, kind, loving, sacrificial, honest, hardworking, honorable to him in all moments. He deserves the best too!
Thank you for sharing that wonderful story!! All the best for you : )
Facts!! Very happy for you!
Beautiful and I agree, 100%!💯💯💯💯💯🎯🎯🎯🎯💯💯💯💯💯
Thank you for all of this. What I saw missing from each one of those whining women, was thought. There seemed to be no thinking or talking about who he was BEFOFE you married him because you had better believe THEY TOLD THEM, it was just overlooked. People ALWAYS tell you who they are. You have to decide if you’ll listen. But even if you do not, please stop coming online painting yourself as a victim when you were a willing participant.
Not so. Narcissists don't show their true colours until after the marriage. Some don't show them til after the birth of the first child or the first male child. My father treated my mother well until after the marriage and turned out to be a compulsive liar, a gambler and physically violent. None of this came to light until after the marriage. I know a number of women who have had the same experience. One dated her high school sweetheart for years, they married and a year later had a son, whereupon he became physically violent and when the child reached 4 he became violent to the child, too who was so traumatised he could no longer speak. That was the last straw, so she left him. Another had a daughter and all was fine but when she gave birth to a son her husband became abusive to her and put a cigarette out on the child's foot. These infantile men are jealous of their own children, especially sons. The first time my dad was physically abusive to my mum was after the marriage, she was heavily pregnant when he twisted her arm up her back causing real pain. He felt he had trapped her with the marriage and children so now he could do what he wanted. There are many men out there who fake decency and drop the act once they are married.
My mother was a married single mother. She was also the main breadwinner. After the divorce we noticed the house was cleaner and there was money to go on vacations and shopping sprees which we couldn't do before...
Because the messy financial burden that was my father was GONE. Less housework, more food in the pantry, more money since an unemployed man that didn't do ANYTHING in the house except create messes... was gone.
I can see WHY women are noping out and choosing to be single or getting divorced. These men become burdens in every sense. My mother literally rejuvenated once my father was gone because he had been draining her of her youth and energy. She dressed better, went to the salon, wore makeup, smiled more, lost weight...
Some people think kids are draining but... a man can be MORE DRAINING than a child. I hadn't realized how much of a pig my father was until we no longer saw his underwear and shoes marring a recently cleaned room and finally saw an empty kitchen sink since he kept eating and leaving unwashed dishes. Even our trash cans stopped overflowing and literally half of our laundry loads was gone. The stench of his feet was finally nonexistent etc.
Glad he was g o n e and he stopped leeching on money for his dumb hobbies. My mother literally did charity work in putting up with him that long.
Don't tolerate men that drain you of yourself like this. Some men are only happy if they have a woman breaking their backs to have them pampered while you fade away.
These type of men don't care about what they're doing to you. They're not partners, they're energy vampires.
I'm sorry about your mom all of them are energy vampires and I can't give up my space to a man - too much of a headache
I’m glad your mom is flourishing now ❤ she deserves it ❤
Wow...just wow.. all this is so enlightening
I was like your mom was. Breadwinner *and* homemaker, and I had to endure his emotional abuse and he spent all our money on his hobbies. Now not only am I debt-free, I have savings, I can take my kids on holidays, I can go out to make friends or date, and I'll be able to buy a new car soon.
@@constancep7632🫶🏾💕
Even as women rightfully call this out, it’s so clear how conditioned everyone is. Men aren’t there to “HELP” - it’s their literal responsibility, and if they don’t take initiative…they are failing.
Exactly. They conveniently forget that the man is a FATHER! Meaning it’s his responsibility to parent his children. I can’t stand when men and women continue the lie that men go to work and woman supposed to stay home and take care of the house and kids. 😒🤨
Exactly! They are too dumb and selfish to realize that.
@@Nitra813 Yeah but they need a better definition of what is male parenting cuz many think its scream or beat their child till the child no longer needs to parenting and learns to ask how high.
@@Nitra813its not a "lie" because that used to be the custom but now its nearly impossible to live on one income
@honestmanutdfan603watch the men in this video… This is what most men are like. Husbands treating their wives like their personal slave isn’t the exception…. It’s the rule!
This is why most kids don't cry for their dads...
And males always turn it around on us and say it’s because the kid knows we give them everything they want. No. It’s because we take care of the kids and the male just sits there, useless.
I did not as his funeral. Said a few nice words 🤷🏾♀️ he didnt pour into us at all.
As tragic as it sounds, all the poor excuses of a father and a man deserve that. Fuck them for wanting a cake and eat it
Lol, exactly. Why call out for dad? What's the point? All he's gonna do is call for mom anyway...
I was a married, working single mom once. Honestly? I was SHOCKED at how much less work I had as a single mom than a married mom. He took the kids for half the week. I had less cooking, less cleaning, more personal time, and more money than I did as a married mom.
Hell, even when I was paying child support I had more money than when I was married to him. That's how much of a leach these men are. Yeet them out of your life. I've done it and HIGHLY recommend it.
Yes, the more money thing is real and I live on a different continent. Still true 😂
Yup! Being a Single mother compared to a married one is the best kept secret.
❤
That's why I'm gonna adopt a baby and become a single mom by choice I don't and I don't need men
I’m a woman who had to pay spousal support to her ex, too. It’s a million times easier being a single mom than being a married single mom.
My child is now 18 which means I don’t have to talk to my ex about anything. 🎉
I dodged a bullet. After 18 yrs of being trapped in a "traditional" marriage that was destroying me, some 20 yr old thought she was clever to come in and get pregnant with his kids because she wanted him for herself. Joke's on her, he's a malignant narcissist and I genuinely laughed for the first time in years when I finally got a safe way out, as he was distracted with her. Now, I can heal and care for myself.
I'm happy you were able to escape him and I hope you heal and find peace.
@@ashtonstout7375 Thank you so much. Peace is finally with me.
@@liatka9661You’re very welcome and I’m glad to hear you are doing well.
@@ashtonstout7375 you are kind, by just in understanding what women are going through your mother raised you well :)
@@grace101Thank you, Grace. My mother is a wonderful woman. She taught me how to love, that beauty is only skin-deep, and that no one is better than anyone else. I absolutely adore her.
My mom complained about being married to my dad my entire life. I am basically my mom’s marriage therapist. Which is crazy because I am her child - I should not be subjected to that kind of responsibility. Me and my siblings all wondered our entire lives why my parents never divorced. Trust me ladies, it is better to leave these deadbeat men sooner than later. Don’t subject your children to his BS or your complaints! Your children would rather see you single and happier than married and depressed.
This
Dangerous idea since almost every study indicates children from single mothers do much worse across every metric than those with intact households. I would be cautious when extrapolating from your particular story.
The same here, including being my mother's therapist.
Same, here still my mom's therapist but gave up on telling her that it's okay to leave my dad
I feel you, I have been telling my parents they would be happier divorced since when I was 15...I'm 37 and still their therapist. I get it's not the ideal situation, they were deeply in love but failed to realize they were incompatible on daily life bases and it's hard for Roman Catholics to divorce, we really believe in marriage and making things work...but they both have been complaining about their marriage since I was 10, so I don't get why they didn't separate, they could have still be friends and co-parents but wouldn't have gotten on each other's nerves due to their polar opposite characters, habits and personalities.
Men out here bitching about they can't find traditional women anymore: bro they're out there, y'all menfolk have just burned them out completely and many of them are realizing they got played. You ruined the very thing you're trying to find.
Most men don't have any male role models. We are raised more by our mothers, our teachers are all women, and now we pretty much are answering to female bosses. Most men are single because no woman wants them. For every single millennial woman there are two single millennial men. We can't ruin something we never had.
Men ruin everything. Even “femininity” not trying to sound like a man hater. But men put women against each other and de centering them makes me look at women and my self differently.
They don’t exist and even if they do they are either taken or very hard to find.
Absolutely correct
@@ilikepancakes2368they do exist but they are extra cautious based on past mistreatment so they stay quiet observing.....I know I have been there
I'm south Asian and in my culture about 90% of women are traditional housewives. When I got married it was the same story, despite being educated and working when I got pregnant it was a joint decision that I stay at home and raise the kids whilst he provided AND promised he would help out as often as he could. In my case it wasn't so much the lack of help that bothered me but more the control, selfishness with money and domineering that made me leave him. He constantly barked at me, put me down, came home and talked about his needs only, complained to his mother if the dinner wasn't made on time, sulked and threw tantrums if I wanted something, did the typical 'you don't need that' when I asked for some money and everything was about him and his family first and my family was an afterthought. There was only so many 'so what?' and 'why should I?' comments I could take before I finally had the sense to walkaway. When I did I got the guilt trip from literally everyone I knew, how SHAMEFUL it was to decide to be a single mother. How I would regret it etc. Don't get me wrong some parts aren't easy but when I left my husband I took my two children and moved back in with my parents and I'm soooo much happier this way. I have my family who help me out, my dad plays with my kids and drives them to school some days, my mom looks after them when I'm in the shower or want to rest. My siblings take it in turns to cook. My work load has been halved a lot plus they finally see more of my family than just my husbands. And the ironic part as usual is that their dad makes more of an effort to be a better father now than before. I'm still only separated from my husband. He wants us to get back but naturally I'm taking my time with the decision. I may contemplated it when my kids are old enough to take themselves to school and help around the house. Take a stand ladies, changes are only ever made when we do!
EDIT: thank you for all the answers ladies, I'm really giving this a lot of thought. I never realized how truly controlled I was by him x
Glad you broke away. His mother should have put him in his place out of the gate too!
@@Tigerlily_Fresh thank you, I agree!
he would tell to mummy, never go back! three's a crowd
Please don’t go back at any point. Even if he’s learned his lesson (and I doubt it), the fact he was capable of treating you that way to begin with showcases the truth of how he feels about women in general. That type of conditioning can’t be overcome. Perhaps for a time, but it’s not your job to fix him. It’s his.
Don't go back to him. He's just playing sweet to get you back in your place because he dislikes you but needs you at the same time. Divorce him and move on
Women worldwide should protest. No more children until they're treated right in this world. We hold the power.
Women seem to be taking another route. They simply have children and plan to be a single mom from the start.
Um yeah that’s not happening. Women are going to continue to bust it open for men they complain about smh
Until 6ft Chad comes along broke and flashes his abs and rented lambo .
Stop choosing on looks and what men can buy you .
Make an emotional connection .
Congratulations you played yourselves
@@maxzomick8733are you 12?
@maxzomick8733 are u dumb or fucking stupid? Choosing based on looks is what MEN do, please stop projecting lol
I'm glad more women are thinking twice before entering marriage and motherhood. It's great more women are sharing more realistic views of what it looks like behind the scenes. It's hard and women need a break.
Having kids looks so lonely. What happened to grandparents and cousins and the whole village being involved to raise children? It looks like moms do everything alone these days, I dont wanna have kids if I’m gonna do everything by myself
Not even behind closed doors!! In all those videos in the beginning the men were being unhelpful and inconsiderate IN PUBLIC. Meaning these women don't even get to pretend they have the "perfect"marriage" to the outside world😂
They complain men are being replaced by the government. That's impossible unless you had NOTHING to offer WIFE or CHILD EXCEPT money.
@@kathyalex778why would they help if their own father won’t? People have lives
@@kathyalex778 A thing of the past. People are so messed up that they will hurt your kids just to get at you. Who gonna check them? You can't. Their alphabet boys and girls support handlers. They do the same thing. So when a person is responsible in many areas of their life to procreate...just know that nobody is guaranteed to help you. Everyone says one thing, then do anything. This bait n switch tactic is a jealousy move. Just to shelf another person.
Let’s stop calling being an active husband, father, and productive member of a family “helping.” And actively parenting their children is not “babysitting!” Sheesh!
THANK YOU!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
My husband used to get so confused and now he gets extremely offended when people pat him on the back for "helping" or "babysitting" with our baby. He mentions that it's his baby too, so how is that helping? It's just doing the bare minimum to not be a shitty parent or partner
Yes! It’s not babysitting it’s parenting
The biggest difference for me was that once I became (my choice) a single single mom I had no more RESENTMENT. That feeling is an energy, affection, and mood killer.
Not a mum but resentment is… whew glad you’re over that time! Bless you.
Like the mom in Mrs. Doubtfire!
Baby I never felt so seen by a comment ❤
Imagine if ud do it without being incentivized or...or...had this mindset pre reproduction? Smh
I'm sorry. I'm glad I'm child free. Nothing but respect to the parents who are apparent to their family.
Same here. I don’t know how they are doing it.
@@susannehuber3996when you have an amazing support system- it is so much fun and easy😊
They are looking for solutions.
It's always the mom looking drained and lifeless.
Same, I do not want them anc way back when I was 27 I made sure I would not be able to
I remember telling women I went to college with that the whole fairytale is a trap! They laughed and said I was a hater because I was calling out the red flags. They thought their partners sarcastic behavior and demeaning them thought it was cute because to them, since they were getting married it didn’t apply to them. Now they are divorced and a few twice divorced.
Years ago, when I was 27 (in my late 40s now) I met a group of young, white, women who worked for a supplier to my company. Im a Latina and while our men can def be a-holes, we don’t set that as a goal! Lol. One day, we were all “partying” at a BBQ of a fellow sales VP (38 y/o macho frat bro) who I happened to be dating and I know they were lusting after. I was saying I wasn’t sure if this was going to work bc he had ex-wife drama, always wanted everything done on his time and only wanted to do his activities and I had a feeling he was cheating. Two of three girls said “Ooooh, I don’t know, I love assholes. I’m so attracted to them.” I was like 😳😳😑 I had never heard any woman say this…
Whew! She loves them?! That’s the type of woman that complains in confidence to her friends and then go right back home to the ahole! I can’t! No one is worth my sanity!
@Becky_Cal Simply put some women don't want the nice guy. I stood accused of this at one time in my life..I thought nice guys were boring!
@@traceylennon1204some of them are not just just boring, they’re weird, phony and play the victim and let their rude bros influence them which is why I called it off with my high school sweetheart acting like the hurt nice goofy guy while letting his friends intervene in our relationship no backbone! Thinking he was gone change me bad mistake!
funny men make US the joke
I remember how a back then 60 year old Dana Delaney (actress on China Beach and Desperate Housewives) came on the Steve Harvey show for an interview, looking not a day older than 40, fresh, glowing and sexy in a short dress. And everyone was gasping and she got asked about her "secret" to looking the way she does. Her reply: "I get asked this a lot and I think I´ve figured it out. I´ve never been married... I don´t have kids... I do yoga every day... and I drink a lot of wine."
Spot on.
My entire life (which was amazing like something out of a fantastical, romantic movie, and people constantly believed me to be ten years younger than I actually was) deteriorated and went to hell when I made the colossal mistake of "finally" getting married at age 35 and becoming a mother... only to end up as a "married single mother".
Pulled the plug after three years. It´s been a decade now, and I´ve never looked back.
No way will I ever ruin my health, beauty, physical fitness, finances, quality of sleep, peace of mind, free leisure time and my gorgeous, clean, beautifully decorated home like that again.
Dana Delaney is ridiculously gorgeous, and she looks AMAZING. You would never know that she's almost 70.
so true two of my neighbors are single childless women with dogs and I thought the 40 year old was 27 and the 36 year old was 25 or something. They even sound young... They were both white women now everyone jokes white people age fast but imo I think stress is the main factor.
Don’t forget the demands of sex between their video games and sporting events…
They are pathetic for real...
Ewww. Yes. No thanks to any of that.🤢
and sub-par at best. sometimes they are so lazy, you have to be the one, working on that as well.
@@heneverforesakesme4038
If I was one of those women, I guess we would both just be laying there then. He asked her so he should be doing the most. The nerve... And more than half of them are impotent anyways.
Gross.
I'm the daughter of a single mom and guess what? I've never been happier to not have my poor excuse of a father in my life. This man, even with all his intelligence could not provide for the family, never paid a penny for my education and on top of that, physically and mentally abused my mom when I was young. Now I'm 17 and both me and my mom are happier than ever. May this happiness never go away from us, Ameen ❤️
Ameen. Thank you for shedding light on this especially for Muslims. I see it happening more and more especially with our Muslim people. The men are so so bad that I chose not to get married.
@@hustlemami8732Islam is useless can't fix it's own people
Wow so sorry for all the pain that Your 'father' gave. Not ALL Men are like that. Some are, sorry to say. You have to have a license to drive. A license to fish. A license to even get Married. But ANYONE can be a 'father' or a 'mother' for that fact. If You're going to be either, be a GOOD one. Be the BEST one ever! BE the kind of parent You want YOUR kids to grow up as. ❤
@@hustlemami8732 I understand. Especially because Islam as a religion is not supposed to suppress women that way and a lot of people are brainwashed into thinking that Muslim men have some sort of upper hand over the women. As a Muslim myself, I can tell you that not all men are wrong, but I feel it's necessary for people to be taught more about the religion and be brought out of the culture created by men to oppress women. A true Muslim man always respects and supports the women of their family and I have seen some good examples of it. I do hope that you find someone like that as well. Not all men are bad, trust me❤️
I'm all for getting out of abusive relationships, but the average son or daughter is not better off without a father. In fact he or she is a lot worse across every metric. But I'm glad that is not the case with you. Obviously physical abuse changes everything.
Thank you for sharing.
Many of the dads in the 50s had two jobs too. So it made sense he was working his butt off and had seasonal businesses like selling Christmas trees and fireworks. She took care of the house and kids because he didn’t have time. He slept 5 hours a night and had no downtime.
The problem is the men are not working hard enough to justify their lack of involvement and the women are now working harder than they’ve ever worked.
Dishwashers, laundry machine, electric ranges, dryers, vacuum cleaners. Little lady, women would have to wash clothes by hands with washboard, all day. Women would have to spend most of the day cooking on firewood. A lot of these women had to make their own clothes, and clothes for the kids. Patch up upholstery and more. No, you ladies have it easier than any other woman in history. Not excusing men though.
This!!!!!!
@@toxicmale2264so basically women always had it harder and worked more than men, just in different ways- nothing has changed except that now women can divorce when they are fed up of unfairness and disrespect on top of it.
@@hashh2019 No, both genders had to work hard to survive. There was no such thing as equal rights or human rights back then. There was just survival. The man got the resources, and the woman gave the man reasons to invest in her well being. Women are able to divorce men because you don't need men anymore. In the past, life was hard. Women wanted to survive not be strong and independent.
Its true that women wanted to survive - in a world that men created, for the total benefit of men.
Women for the most part weren't *allowed* to work in non domestic-related jobs (which includes cloth mills & garment-making), nor were they paid beyond a pittance of a man's wage when they did. Women weren't allowed to have bank accounts/credit/ownership of property w/o a male authority on the account/property.
For illustration, when I was 18, I still needed a male relative co-signer to open a bank account, which legally allowed the male relative to access *my* earned $$.
That is why single and Childfree women are the happiest people in the world. Look at this BS women had to deal with everyday! Even if you chose better women still carry the heavier burden in marriage and childcare.
Those studies are odd bc happiness is so different for different people. I love being a mother and things I complain about that a CF woman or man may not complain about will be different. There's pros and cons for each. I don't remember being included in that study either.😒
They say single women live longer than married women too.
@@thedustysocietycrimes
What is the con in being single and child free?
The best kept secret on earth is being a single, childfree woman.
This is what society wants single childfree women to think they are missing out on.😂😂
I'm glad more women are staying single, childfree and doing what's best for them. Staying single is a blessing for a lot of us.
better than being neglected, which counts as a form of abuse
It definitely is for me.
@@seabreeze4559i wonder what that looks like to you?
It sure is.
@@micahescala2184, I get that everyone's perspective is different, but you all know what neglect is. Two married people that both work and pay bills. One comes home after work and puts his feet up. Then ask the equally tired party, what's for dinner? If they have children, the woman is taking care of them as well as cleaning the house. When she finally crawls into bed, he taps her on her shoulder and expects her to perform like a p0rn star. He even has the audacity to wonder why she's so tired the next morning. When she expresses her needs to him, he gets upset and swears his job is more stressful than hers. Then he's shocked when she files for divorce and says he was blind sided.
The sad thing is, wher I come from, this is what's called a normal marriage. Any woman gets told that marriage is a responsibility and to forget her days of being playful and getting fancy or done up (unless it's for her husband, of course) and romantic ideas are nothing but silly teenage dreams that'll wreck "a true marriage" based on fairytales. And the fact that they make us believe that we should want this life more than anything and to put aside education or pursuing a personal passion is so odd to me. Like, if you want to make me want to get married to the point where I'd throw away my individuality, life and dreams... maybe you should sell this marriage thing a bit better? But no, that would create an expectation for men and god forbid they're ever questioned why they don't meet any standard. while girls are raised to be perfect housewives from the age of 10. And I'm supposed to believe that my life would be living hell without a narcissistic toddler who can't do shit for himself but still thinks he can boss me around or even abuse me?
💯 women are catching on the foolishness of it all. It’s a scam. The men know it but they will not stop it .
I think your perception of a theoretical husband is quite negative. Why would he be someone you despise? Aren't you the one picking him?
Obviously marriage implies sacrifices for the wellbeing of the children. If you care more about your individuality than that I don't see a problem. Just accept the consequences (good and bad). No one can have it all.
@@Jaime-eg4eb did you watch the video? Do you know what kind of husband they're talking about? That's called normal where I come from and women who don't accept abusive husbands are considered picky and no good for marriage and sometimes whores. Marriage shouldn't take away someone's individuality but rather share it safely with your partner. It's not the same here, a woman should have absolutely no personality or individuality and just be a follower to her husband. Men don't have to sacrifice a single thing in marriage but the women sacrifice everything. We don't get a say in our own lives. Men marry for comfort, especially students. Male students marry to have a maid and an assistant to manage their lives while they study and achieve their dreams and after they're done they make it clear how much they hate their wives and how they should be thankful they didn't dispose of them once they graduated (which also happens) my own father said he'll disown me me if I become a cardiologist because then no man would want to marry me. Why? 1st, cardiology takes a long time, you'll be old and no man will want to marry someone who's no longer in her 20's. But older men exist too. Yes, but they also want someone in their 20's so no one will want you at all.
2nd you will scare the men away, cardiology is one of the most difficult branches of medicine, no man wants to marry a woman smarter than him. 3rd, being a successful cardiologist means that I won't have time to feed my husband or take care of his children. What if I marry a cardiologist then? Of course not. Cardiologists are busy people, if they marry someone that someone should do all the house chores for them so they can focus on their careers. Fine, so I'll marry someone who isn't a cardiologist so they can cater their entire life to me while I thrive. Of course not, you want to marry a woman? No self respecting man will do house chores, that's your job as a woman. That's what came from my own father who loves me (supposedly) because he knows this is what men are like in our society, there's no bargaining or give and take. Men only take, women only give, even before a marriage takes place we are taught our entire lives to be perfect wives and give away our dreams. Never was there a man who said he wanted to be a cardiologist and his family went no, you'll be too busy and absent no woman will want to marry you. Because women don't get to complain about their marriages, you got a husband, be thankful. While men complain and abuse their wives all the time. I love reading and my parents were proud until dropped the fantasy books and wanted to read more about science and biology, my dad told me to stop and only stick to novels. We have to bury ourselves from the moment we're born and dim our lights so we don't outshine men and their insecure asses. You can say not all men are like that and I agree, but that's what they're all like where I come from. No one broke the tradition and raised a good man, no man got rejected enough times to self reflect because women are scared they'll end up alone with no one to provide for them so they take any man no matter how horrible, their only desired quality is "man" and wanting anything more means she's greedy. Women go to their parents with horrible injuries from being physically abused and are told to go back to their husbands and apologize. One man hit his daughter because she called the cops on her abusive husband because now he won't take her back. There was a movie I saw as a kid about a girl who wanted to live life and have a career while her friends were all getting married. Some men proposed to her but she refused because one was an addict and one was a mama's boy.
She was too old when she graduated aka above 26 and didn't know how to sew so men refused to marry her. No one whould employ her and she ended up as prostitute being abused by her pimp and even got an STD and couldn't make money out of prostitution anymore. She spent her last days begging on the streets until she died. That's the moral of the story, if you dare to want more than a husband and are picky with who asks for your hand in marriage, you'll be worthless and tossed aside until you die alone.
Not all men are bad. My husband cleans more than me and cooks. He’s not abusive and is very mature and emotionally intelligent
@@MsFlamingFlamer I know not all men are bad and I'm happy you found a good one. But my comment is about the men in my community. No one bothers to be good because they already think they're beyond great the way they are. And most men are like that, unfortunately.
3 divorced women in my family have all confirmed they are happier and have less work to do now that they are single, even as single mothers. I heard them discussing this privately at a family event to only have them 5mins later pressuring me into having children 😂
Misery loves company
That's bc a man alone (no kids) adds 7 hrs of labor to a woman's work load. That's 364 waking hrs (or 1 month) of your life every year dedicated to picking up after a male partner. After a decade, you've lost nearly a year of your life to him. No thank you. Imagine having all that extra time added back into your life. That's time for hobbies, self-care, educational growth, volunteer-work, etc. So much of your self-actualization goes missing when you center men. It's wild!
I have to agree. I used to say I feel like a single mom while married almost 20 years ago. It did surprise me that there was less work to do when I didn't have to clean up after my husband and could actually find things because he wouldn't be there to move crap around. Credit score improved too, he kept forgetting to pay bills on time.
Not if they see her as a sweet angel. We all want more of those. It's different when you have a support system - that's likely several woman that want to babysit. My kid is in college now, sometimes I babysit the neighbor kids so their moms can work, 'cause of the nostalgia. Empty nest syndrome is real. @@feliznavidad6958
Oh wow. They want company in their past sufferings. Smh.
Women realizing that empowerment was not just brainwashing. That the women who even risked their lives for us to go to school were not just greedy.
They did it to prevent the fates they saw in the mothers; the fates we are still seeing today in these tiktoks. Dystopian. They knew.
The best part is when this tired, cranky, unshowered woman doesn’t show him enough love, praise, admiration, and physical affection, he goes out and finds a young, fresh, untethered woman who has time to make herself look nice and laugh at his corny jokes.
And I feel terrible for those women because they have no idea what they are signing up for. I mean they can have him by all means, but I feel like I want to warn a sister like "hey your life is about to be over, stay away for your own sake".
@@goldenretrievermom7945 thing is bad deeds dont go unpunished. 20 is young, but at 20 i knew married men were off limits. I had basic morals. If you knowingly help a shitty man break his vows, your punishment is to live with him.
@@Mira-gu6we Plenty of bad deeds go unpunished, that's part of the reason behind why the treatment towards women has been so horrific for so long. In addition to the severe lack of justice we're experiencing in society.
"he goes out and finds a young, fresh, untethered woman who has time to make herself look nice and laugh at his corny jokes": Not for long: He'll baby-trap her sonn enough and go look for yet another single childfree woman.
It’ll never happen with me and I’m 24 no children and all I’ll embarrass tf out of him for u
Shocker its almost as if women realize that serving their man DOES NOT make them happy.
I don't know why it took them so long to wake up, it's 2023 ,they are late!, TH-cam was created in the early 2000's
Who thought free domestic servitude 24/7 would make you unhappy? A shocker.
@purplelove3666 Lol the gag is in the 2010's was the age of the Pick Me. They made it seem that if a woman wasn't serving her man, it was an issue. This was also the age of the "I'm Not Like the Other Girls" and the cool girl
🎯🎯🎯
Men say "it's not about happiness it's about making it work" 😭😭😭. I'm like making what work? What's the point of making it work if you're not happy? Ladies the ONLY one who benefits in "making it work" is the MAN!!
THAT IS WHY THEY JEEP TELLING ALL THESE LIES AND GAVE TOLD ALL THESE FALLACIES. Its so they parasite off of you
This makes me so angry! I saw my mom be a married single mom and on top of doing very little my dad would scream, throw things at her, insult her cooking, insult her appearance (he is fat and ugly and can’t cook), and he would steal money from her when he was unemployed. Disgraceful! I will never let myself marry a selfish person
I forgot to mention he cheated on her with a woman half her age and even suggested this mistress move in with us. And my mom is a beautiful woman who takes care of herself anyway, never let herself go
I'm sorry that happened to your family💜@@kathyalex778
@@kathyalex778I hope she had the strength to leave him.
He would have been out on the street if it was me.
Males change. But, I hope you find a good one.
I think a huge, HUGE part that isn’t mentioned enough is this starts at home! With the parents who raise sons! Raise your son to be helpful and to understand domestic labor is not a gender specific thing.
ABSOLUTELY 💯!!!!
but sons need to see it played out with mom and dad. That's how sons learn. They learn by seeing how the dynamics play out.
@@stayroxy Most sons aren't going to get that, because their dad is not going to be that way. They're just going to have to unlearn it like women are.
@@stayroxy "but sons need to see it played out with mom and dad.": Well you gotta start somewhere and most households still don't share labor 50/50 so women will have to make the start by forcing men (husbands and sons) to do their fair share, because mom and the girls are doing theirs.
"They learn by seeing how the dynamics play out.": That is percisely the problem we have since the beginning of HUMANkind. Sons learn that women and girls are their servants just like they are the fathers servants.
No one would _ever_ be okay w/ a wife who also “works all day” but then comes home and refuses to participate. They would be ready to riot on her.
Facts!
Same with cheating. Man cheats he expects forgiveness. Once his woman cheats he is never to be seen again. We need to take this energy and give it back to these males.
@rosannarichardson7951 the cheating one is so true. Of course cheating is wrong. However, Men cheat = forgiveness or maybe counseling in a lot of cases. Women cheat = unalived. Okay. Intense energy.
My mom did exactly that ,she contributes more financially than my dad and is better at budgetting ,she enjoys cooking and she is allergic to dust so he is in charge of cleaning if me or him dont clean and do the laundry we will not have a clean space or clothes so we do it.
I remember back in the 1970s I used to hear the statement: "A woman's work is never done," Shows this is an ongoing problem.
And its genesis is the poem, "Darby and Joan" written in 1801: A man may work from sun to sun, but a woman's work is never done.
That’s the most honest advice I’ve heard in a long time, “don’t be a stay at home mom, just don’t do it.” it impacts every aspect of your life including your retirement should this man divorce you.
I knew a stay at home mom who was sitting extremely pretty after her husband passed. She lives till her 90s and had money to donate to charity
Not all of us have unhealthy relationships. Some women only do it for 2 years. Others last longer. It's not for everyone. Those of us with privilege can take the risk.
I find that too many modern men and women are low quality. They could never make decent marriage partners because they are not decent people. That's the real lesson here. Some people are probably better off single and without the drama of dating.
@@MsFlamingFlameranecdotal stories
@@adaezez8378 it’s not anecdotal, it’s the truth of millions of women. Responsible men are not going to leave their wives high and dry. I grew up knowing a bunch of SAHMs that did nothing but win at life. Their kids won too
@@MsFlamingFlamer refer back to my comment
Smh then they’ll justify cheating on their wife cause she’s “haggard” and let herself go. She wouldn’t “let herself go” if you helped her azz in the first place. Just trifling smh. 😕
Exactly what I've been saying!
Never again. I married a man that was like 2 different people in one body. He changed the moment I said "I DO". I was basically his punching bag. He was so abusive and mean. All of his hidden trauma poured out... I was screamed at daily and thrown around and shaken weekly. I still have nightmares about him because my daughter keep him in her life ( he's her step dad no matter what). I will never date or marry again. I love my freedom and peace of mind.... love it. These men basically just want a legal slave that keeps her legs open...but, mouth shut and doesn't have thoughts and opinions... They want it this way whether you work or not. Spread the word, ladies.
Honey.... He didn't have trauma. That's a lie they tell you to keep you from realizing that biologically, they are monsters. That their monstrosity is BIOLOGICAL and it's ALL they could ever be
I understand this, my father was similar after marrying my mother with no sign of it beforehand.
How can you traumatize a demon? He wasn't traumatized. He was just a normal ol guy. You haven't figured out that their default setting is hate if women and it's only society that's dampened it. If you don't believe me, look at every country that has very little protection of women. 100%%% of them look like your ex.
His "hidden trauma" is _not_ a reason to justify abuse!
I am reading "why does he do that?" By Lundy Bancroft after having it highly recommended to me by my therapist and several others. I HIGHLY recommend it! It's so insightful. Found the whole pdf online too, so you can read it for free!
Stay brave.
I remember seeing an old video from the 1960s I think about men's opinions on helping with housework. The large response from most all of the men was "of course men should help with housework! I get to have weekends off from my job, my wife should have time off too." It's kind of crazy to think that we have taken such a big step back from the 60s in this regard...
My life was much easier when I dumped my 3 kids dad. That first night, was like the biggest brick being taken off my back. And the kids and I put on Wizard of OZ and just did a camp out in the living room. And the money we saved was SO nice. We saved money because you cook different, and buy food different with a grown man living in the home. They require many more calories, and are not content with the more relaxed dinners (like mac n cheese/hot dogs), you aren't making the steaks, and big stews all the time. Or you can order out a pizza on very hard days, and the kids don't complain. My car insurance went down, as did the utility bill a bit.
Plus, we could just BREATHE. No dad to tip toe around, or counter parenting. I only regretted waiting so long to pull the plug on the marriage.
Yup! So serious about the food and saving money on groceries. Feeding a grown azz man is EXPENSIVE!
Lol 😅 on the food part which is very true though 😅 what about those who you have to cook a whole different meal everyday 😅😅 and be the one to serve him as well. I've seen mostly older ww who can't have a good time out with their gfs because they have to rush back to do dinner for their husbands. I mean ..there's food ..but she has to go plate it for him. I've asked them a few times don't they own microwaves which they do 🙄
Did he pay alimony later or he bail out?
Also these men age the hell out of you while they live like teenagers and don't age a bit, stay away from them. Don't "live the good life" with them, they don't do shit I promise.
So true. In the last couple years with my ex, I hated taking photos because I looked so awful, too much weight, dark circles around my eyes and generally haggard. Fast forward, 2 years, I look and feel so much better and healthier. Meanwhile, my ex looks terrible. The toll of grocery shopping, cooking for himself, sorting all the bills and not being that extra income from my salary has aged him and put him in bad health!
Thank you for these video compilations.
Anytime men mention protecting women, I want to scream.
They don't protect women against a damn thing, not even loneliness.
When I was in college, a man twice my size literally grabbed me and groped me, picked me up, and tried to put his tongue in my ear. I was standing in line for food, and I was so shocked I just froze. I couldnt even scream.
My GIRL FRIENDS were the ones who went with me to report him to campus police!
When I met up with my boyfriend later, and told him what happened, he kept saying, "Well, what could you have done to make the situation better?"
I am ashamed of myself for not dumping that sorry excuse then and there.
He didn't offer to walk me to class on his off days. Didn't offer to take me to get pepper spray. Didn't even try to COMFORT ME!
And deep down they all know that the only thing they're even supposed to protect women from is OTHER MEN. And they don't even do that!🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
I empathize with your story--it's horrible what happened. But our culture has been indulging and emasculating men, telling them they can spend their life looking at p-rn, playing computer games and then allowing them to be soft and complacent rather than showing them how to be grown up, adult men. When do you see young men being raised to be strong, brave, responsible defenders? So we have sickos like the one who did that to you and softies like your bf.
Remind me how women were not assaulted by their own husbands before the videogames and porn. Violence against women has been an issue forever. Let's not pretend that men are some special protector when they are the ones putting women in danger since the beginning of civilization
Don't blame yourself for not dumping him. You were going through trauma and you were not able to process everything. It's horrible to deal with but very normal. It's why we have the saying "Hindsight is 20/20."
@@EamonWill Thank you for your kind words!
From what I've seen, the average man would gladly serve up his wife and children to an assailant on a silver platter if he thought it would save his own ass.
This is a result of the previous generation coddling boys… I’m 27 now but, growing up, my mom absolutely BABIED my two older brothers (as did ALL my girl friends moms who had sons). My oldest brother had no chores, my other brother had to vacuum the living room once a week, take out the trash twice a week, and alternate weeks deep cleaning our bathroom w me once a week. Meanwhile I had to wash everyone’s dishes every night, sweep the kitchen every night and wipe down the dining table, and deep clean the kitchen, master bathroom, laundry room, and entry way w my mom every week. That all started at the age of 10 or 11… THIS is why so many men act like this!! They’re coddled and babied growing up by our parents who played to traditional gender roles, however, society has changed and women should not be expected to work AND do ALL the cooking and cleaning and look after the kids! If I have a boy, I will never raise him like that.. those same boys who were coddled growing up are now getting into relationships where they expect their partner to work but they will still expect them to be like their mom (cook and clean for them) who never taught them life skills and catered to them 24/7.
🎯🎯🎯
Reminds me of a quote I read that was something along the line of: Mothers claim that boys are easier to raise than girls, but only because they outsource half of the parenting to their sons future partners.
Omg I just got done telling my husband I love our little boy but I’ll be damned if I ever see him treat his spouse this way.
Women raise their daughters but love their sons.
Thank you for pointing out the source of modern women's problems with men , it's the mothers that raised them.
My sister, mom and I did everything in the house growing up...my brothers and father were princes and a king...the only thing they had to worry about was when the next football and basketball game is...dad worked as a lawyer, made lots of money ( which he spent on whores) mum worked full-time as an educator,and was still expected to cook, clean and make sure that the kids were presentable, to my fathers standards. We are grown now and my sister and I have thriving careers...can't say as much for my big brother.
I've lived this and ended up resenting my husband. He complained that I was lazy then left me to be a literal single mother. It was painful... Until I realised that my life was easier and better without him. 😂When he left.. It was the best thing that happened to me. 😮
Yeah, sometimes them leaving is a win, proof that a loss can be a gain.
So we really we don't need no men
The trash took itself out☺️
This is a one of the reasons why I am in my 40’s, never been married with no kids. In all my long term relationships where we lived together, I saw the clear signs that they would be a horrible parent “partner”, so I ended it before it could be begin. They either NEVER cleaned the house, complained that I didn’t clean the house enough this week. I swear if I didn’t clean our sheets, we would have had the same ones on forever, etc etc. I saw it all, and said not husband material, not parent partner material.
Could have saved yourself the time. Any guy who wants to "live together" rather than making a commitment to you is showing you he's not husband or parent material and he probably thought you weren't wife or mom material either. If you want to see how well a guy takes care of a home, drop by his apartment. Why did you need to live with them to figure this out?
@@nicolewright8833 not sure why took the simple phrase “live together” so literally and assumed I’m talking about the guy not making a commitment towards me. I clearly said I leave them, not the other way around. Also it’s unbelievably common to turn into a different person once you go from friend to partner, or dating to living together, or living together to married. Have you not heard of “showing their true colors” only after a big commitment has happened. Come on now, people are not as simple as you make it seem.
Sounds like what he wanted was another mother who is also a maid. I'm glad you got out of that relationship.
I'm so happy the view on single mothers changes! She is not a "crazy one that ruined the family" she is the sane one that got away and stood up for herself. I'm a child of a single mom, it means a lot!
Yup! I don't even buy into that broken home crap. It's just another mantra to force women into marriages aka servitude. No thanks!
Some are crazy. Both stories can be true
As an African woman I've always felt like marriage wasn't made with women in mind at all. Culturally and Religiously we get the short end of the stick. In my culture a man can marry as many wives as he wants, no consideration of how u feel. U do the cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids, while going to work as well. When ur husband cheats, u stay becoz society says "all men cheat" 🥲, and if u leave, then ur a failure 🙆🏽♀️(ur called a "returned soldier😂). Now that even internationally women are complaining too, i don't see that much value in marriage. Even my mom tells me not to get married😂.Ofcourse not all men are like this and some are actually really great husbands and dads. All i can say is, it will take a very special man to convince me to marry him.
Me neither. And the wedding fees!
Children need a Father figure. Praying that Yours do in some way. There ARE 'special" Men out there. If that's part of Your Destiny, I Pray it happens and You AND Your Children feel and KNOW You're ALL Loved Unconditionally!!!
Good. Not just any partner will do.
Which country do you belong to, if you dont mind me asking?
Okay read thr Bible sis..Cheating is definitely not condoned for anyone no matter the sex..And men are supposed to love and sacrifice for their wives as well..Jesus loved women and treated women with respect..He did not view housework and chores as important as these ppl make it..I don't want to believe it was supposed to be this way..
Here's something the Trad folks are missing.. if you want to be the bread winner & have a trad stay at home wife & not help out, you should also make enough money to afford help for her in the form of caretaker , maids , live in relatives you support etc.... this is the real traditional lifestyle!! not just giving making enough money for one woman to barely manage everything on her own!
I'm a Homemaker and I agree.
Okay then have children with a man who can get a nanny..why are we putting this on the men? These women knew who they were having kids with. They know what he makes
@@hellobrowngirl They're putting it on men because most men are not the kind of provide that lifestyle, but they're the ones that keep complaining about wanting it. They want the free house labor of a wife; they don't want to pay for it by hiring help. Some cultures hire help, but it's not the norm.
You can't keep telling women to find a man that'll do x, y, z, when most men don't want to do x, y, z. There isn't enough of these men for the women that want them.
Men are not nice (and they don't want to be) and they refuse to grow in their emotional intelligence to understand that raising children, cleaning, and cooking is too much for the wife to do alone.
As a central european women I'm always shocked with how much shit women in liberated countries like the USA are willing to put up with. My husband did the nights as much as I did. We split morning and evening 3 days dad 4 days mom as he's (on top.of His fulltime Job also) a firefighter. He cooks at least twice a week (I love cooking and he cooks just really spicy). Cleaning and House maintance are 50/50. Activities in Kindergarden are split equally between dads and moms. My Kid doesn't care of I'm out drinking with friends because their dad is there. Nor does she care if my husband is out drinking with friends because I'm there. Having 50/50 custody means 50/50 responsiblity. The only thing I could do for my Kid, my husband couldn't was breastfeeding. However this really doesn't start with marriage and kids in my opinion. Whenever there are new American soldiers in the Base close by you can detect them in the bar scene as they all are acting like their sperm heals cancer. Like Dude just because you got a dick doesn't mean jackshit. Usually it takes about a month for them to realise that here, you need to treat women like humans or you won't get sex. And that sexual harresment leads to a brocken nose faster than everything else.
"They are all acting like their sperm heals cancer." 😂😂😂 So funny and sadly so true at the same time.
What do you work as given how much u and ur husband work?
I noticed European man are 100000x better than the American men, I been traveling Europe a lot and even on looks are much better and they treat me like gentlemen and kind, women are respected in Europe
@@ivy-gp5to yes you are right I legit don't see any difference at all between middle eastern men and American men, i am living in Europe soon since I feel safer as a woman too in Europe
My husband is Caribbean and when we had kids I FORCED him to do half of not a little more as I was pregnant and then cut open to deliver a baby, then breastfed them.. I MEANT I would never even let him get comfortable with me working and taking care of the house. If I’m going to work and contribute financially he is going to work and contribute to this house and the kids… he never wanted to not help but when we were younger he wanted to have the same social life… go work, go to the gym, go play soccer, play the video game, go out on weekends and I said not on my watch… and he adapted quickly even tho there were some arguments… I’d do the arguments all over again because I could never accept otherwise. He’s a great husband and father…
I’ve been non-married my whole life, but engaged 3 times. This is why I trusted my intuition, this is why I personally chose not to get married and have children.
It is challenging enough in this world to do everything on your own in modern society. I can’t imagine adding a man-child and children on top of that. I would die of stress. My sister almost did. (Not bashing moms, I just don’t think I could do it all without a support system)
If you been engaged 3 times and did not go through the process of getting married than its the men you are choosing
@@ashleynecono it’s NOT! It’s the prevalence of abusive men. Your rhetoric is abusive and DARVO which does not work over here,
@@femmefatale71 yall never like to take accountability.
@@ashleyneco Sure, the men that she's been choosing can definitely be the case. However, let's not act like most men are nice. There are not enough "good men" for the women that want them. Men need to improve so that there's more to choose from.
@@AniWho268 you don't know if most men are good or bad, there are good men and women, just like there are bad men and women, just because you or any other woman had bad experiences with men, doesn't mean all men are bad or the same.
I'm a conservative Christian and I know there are a lot of young women that are conservative that want to leave the marriage due to this going on but are stuck. It's not always by choice. It's lack of support. Some of these women have been groomed since they were children to believe the trad lie. It took me a LONG time to find a descent church and find an all-woman's bible school class that was ON BOARD. We have one married woman in our class, and she doesn't really show up that much because she is the odd man out. (no offense to her, she is a good person). It's difficult to break away from the stepford programing and that goes for all cultures and demographics. The moment you start standing up for yourself you are told you are selfish, a feminist, and have a rebellious Jezebel spirit. I am none of those. But honestly. IF I had to do it all over again. I wouldn't have gotten married or had children. It's heartbreak. I can only hope this young generation of ladies can break the cycle and think of themselves first before taking marriage and children into consideration. Thanks for the outtakes, Priscilla, those were very good examples, (by the way, that look you had on your face after the first outtake was hilarious, the situation wasn't funny, but the look was funny, it's the look we as women, give ALL the time.) I think as women we need to start filming more and more and more of these and placing them on social media. Exposure is key.
i'm glad you said this because if the conservative christian women want out of their marriages, you know it's a problem. it's not women, it's men.
Thank you for this comment ☺️ the part that if you dare speak about divorce in the church you are called a feminist, selfish,rebellious and have a Jezebel spirit is the problem and some of these long suffering wives are so proud of themselves for how long they’ve been able to endure 😅
@@Priscilla_Boye I agree 💯. I have a catholic (no offense to the catholics, I'm southern Baptist myself.)neighbor who is married to a TERRIBLE drunkard and she thinks she is a strong 💪 woman because she can deal with it, she even goes around bragging about it, like it's a flex and telling everyone it's part of her exotic culture. She's been putting up with it for over thirty years. She's not strong, she's programmed and foolish. BELIEVE ME, he takes full advantage of her beliefs. She's isolated, her family lives in another country and she has no job. It's sad. This is what the PPB are up too. They treat these foreign women WORSE.
Wow, I was really touched by your honest comment here, especially given you come from a conservative Christian background and culture…and you’re right, it comes down to social and cultural conditioning and being surrounded by people who will malign you and make you out to be the devil if you try to stand up for yourself or she’d light on what should be clear and day to anyone! Stay strong and I hope you find the courage to seek the freedom and emotional and mental peace you deserve. Just remember, you don’t live in Saudi Arabia or some other crazy place that will kill women who try to leave their husbands. You live in a FREE country and have every right to leave your husband and a marriage that is sucking the life out of you (in fact you’re lucky to have that right…something many women in the world do not have). Wishing you all the best. ❤
As a liberal you have my respect. This was powerful. Glad you broke free.
Don't fall for the propaganda, focus on your career and health/longevity ladies.
The only difference I've seen of marriage and divorce is when the woman stops doing all the work for the manchild who hid behind masculinity.
i've seen women say that their workload got lighter. it makes sense. one less manchild to take care of. plus, she doesn't have to worry about mandatory bedroom activities.
True!…women work 12hrs a day with the kids; men work 8 or 9hrs a day; where did the rest 4hrs go???
I wrote a book on being single and happy. This is the best example of why.
If you are not happy with yourself as a single woman, looking for a man to come in and "save you," or are marrying because your friends are, then 9 times out of 10 this is the kind of relationship you will end up with. It goes for men too. If you walk into a relationship looking for a maid and a baby maker then wonder why she is not all pretty for you when you are ready or she walks out on you because she is tired of doing all of the caring. This is what you get. If you are a man looking to save a broken woman because you want to play hero, once you have saved her, she no longer needs you. Marry, because the person you have found is a whole happy person and you are a whole happy person bringing peace and joy to each other's life. Marry because you are best friends, cheerleaders and partners for each other.
True. I used to attract douchebags many times (both as friends and as boyfriends) and I finally realised that it was not just coincidence that it kept happening. Raising my standards is number one, and number two is to work on myself. I'm still a work in process, having to learn and unlearn many old bad habits of mine. I want to get married, but I'm not doing that unless I find a guy that genuenly respects me and loves me as much as I do him. Even after 2 years since I broke up with my abusive ex I still catch myself "bending over backwards" to please people that honestly don't deserve it... It's a learned habit that I need to work on, and it's good that I'm aware of it now. And being bullied through all my upbringing and abused by a parental figure seriously warped my perspective on what friendship and love is suppose to look like. I didn't know until I was 25-27 that being treated like I didn't matter is not a true friendship. It's extremely one-sided care while the other person only takes but never gives. If they give it's usually in the form of a nasty comment that they later pretend was "just a joke". Nah... I can do so much better than that and I do deserve better. Until I find it I'm staying single, sorry douchebags but I'm not your plaything anymore...
And it's not even a woman or man issue, in my life I have been mistreated by men and women equally as much. Being a garbage person has no gender, and no specific look. You can be ugly or pretty and be just as garbage. I think men are probably just as abused and mistreated by their partners but it's not talked about as much. I've known several women personally, close ex friends of mine etc who are the laziest, most manipulative, nastiest women you will ever meet. Do you think they are good partners to their boyfriends? The only way to "please" such a person is to be 100% submissive, never tell them no, never have any opinions for yourself. When you tell such a person no all hell breaks lose. And that's why they are no longer in my life. And many men are like this too, like I said, garbage has no gender.
This very true. Both genders need to speak up without villianizing the other gender. I have seen those garbage women too, but it seems that there is a growing trend of men looking for women who not only work full time but also do all of the housework and child care. They seem oblivious to the fact that they cannot expect a partner to give 200% working 24/7 while they put in a 40 to 50 hour week and get to come home and relax. The idea is that both should support each other. That childcare should involve both parents. That if one person cooks the other cleans. If one puts the kids to bed, the other can get them up and ready. Teamwork makes the dream work.
The videos in the beginning were sad especially the mother who fell holding one of her children while accidentally knocking down the other 😔. You could hear the fear and shock in her voice. And she was not just carrying her child but two big bags as well! And then that scrote is just calmly walking towards them.
men being protectors is a myth. he really does not care. i just watched a video where 2 men were selling their daughters in afghanistan after the taliban took over because they couldn't find work. if it were a man's job to protect his family, selling his daughters wouldn't even be on the table. one man sold his 9 year old daughter to a 55 yr old man and the other sold his 10 yr old daughter to a 70 yr old man. the second man also had a 4 yr old who he was considering selling. i think each girl was sold for around $2000. men only look out for themselves.
That is disturbing disgusting disappointing and very sad 💔💔 the 50 and 70 year old buying them 🤯 and they are even considering selling a 4 year old 😭 these are babies.
I totally agree. I will say though…and I mean this as support…LADIES STOP DOING IT ALL! Just stop. STOP! If there’s a mess…let it pile up. Don’t take everything out of the car at once. Send him to do it. If he gives you grieve…do not take that shit! Men need to be called out.
@@jennmello8829I agree
A whole scrote🙊
I hope the mothers who are complaining about the lack of assistance from their husbands are teaching their SONS how to cook and clean.
I could go on for YEARS about my time in this situation. And there was no one to talk to, all I got from any other woman I tried to vent to was how "lucky" I was to be a SAHM, ignoring that every time money got tight, he'd send me out to work and then take my "allowance" for himself. So, I'd do it all, and work, and have to pay for all of the groceries and diapers, etc. Then things would ease up and he'd start complaining about having to "babysit" his own child and he'd push me to quit. Wash, rinse, repeat. And that was just part of the crap I endured. This was in the 80s-90s. It makes me so sad that young women are still being expected to put up with this utter 💩 after all of these years.
I was a single stay at home mom for 10 years. My job felt never ending. He had the nerve to tell me that I had the best life. Yes I had my time with the kids I loved dearly. Then when he wanted me to go back to work. I wanted to talk to him about how everything will get done. He would not have the conversation with me. I started planning for divorce and planned to get my job after the divorce was finalized.
how did he react when you announced wanting a divorce?
Good riddance my friend!!…on top you realised they are downlow men!!😢😢😢
Had the SAME situation. Didn’t want to talk about how he would contribute other than just financially once I switched from part time to full time after last kid went to preschool. Had the audacity to act like I was the one not doing enough even though I was a MSM. Absolute coward.
So true! My ex told me he was a „family man“- no, he wasn’t. He used me to make his parents happy and give them grandkids, left me almost all the work while I worked a part-time job as well and as soon as the kids were older teenagers, he started to look for a younger woman to replace me. I am so much happier without him and haven’t missed him a single second because he never helped me anyway while I was constantly on duty with him around.
That younger woman is going to eventually drain and drop is old a$$😂! They are so delusional and stupid. At least you are free from that headache.
It’s literally easier to be alone. And who wants to be with someone who doesn’t care about your wellbeing and expects you to want them😂😂😂😂
Keep being bitter and don't choose quality men.
I managed to take a picture of some 350 pound dude sitting his behind on the grocery table in the self-check. He allowed his woman to pick up the groceries and scan them out, while he just sat his lazy behind there watching her. I also saw another dude too lazy to take the cart back to the store, he demanded an elderly worker to do it. His woman had the kids and put them inside, he got inside his car and he couldnt even back up properly because he got on his phone. I have witnessed men walking out in busy traffic leading the women and children behind them. The women just follow them.
These men are lazy. I simply won't tolerate the disrespect. I was dating this guy who wouldn't get out of the car to pump my gas. After a little light arguing back and forth, he reluctantly got out of the car and pumped my gas. When he was done, I drove off and left his azz standing at the gas station. I'm a one and done type of person. A man only has one time to show me he doesn't care about me and I'm done with him for good.
@@shayemoore
I love you! 💜💛💚Tell me did he chase after your car after you pulled off?? 🏃🏾😂
@@Tigerlily_Fresh LOL, girl, no, but he sure was standing there looking crazy. He probably thought I was coming back for him.
@@shayemoore legend says he’s still waiting 😂
@@riareed1269 The way I LOL when I read your comment 😂. Good one!
Lived this life. Nobody can measure the toll the stress inflicts on your life and health. Now in my late 40s I can feel the aftereffects of it on my mental and physical health. My prayers for the women who are still living this. I hope y'all get the courage to change your situation.
I Hope You find peace of mind and joy, long term stress is brutal
I've GOTTA comment on this. Let Me make this crystal clear: I am a Man. Single. No kids. In My 'mature' years. There's one BIG problem with these Women that say Their man isn't doing his fair share. Ladies, hate to burst Your bubble but You don't have a man. You have a BOY pretending he's a Man. A REAL Man is RESPONSIBLE for His FAMILY. Wife first. Kids second. Everything like career, yada yada comes far after that. One thing ALL Women should ask while dating is "how are YOU going to support Me once We're Married and ESPECIALLY when We start a Family?" If They say "that's the Wife's job - WALK AWAY. That's NOT Marriage - that's playing HOUSE. If They say "I'll support You and Our Family in every way possible", and then They don't, REMIND THEM of what They said. REAL MEN keep Their Word. ENFORCE that. As a Single Man, I would KILL not only to have a Loving Wife where We don't do 50/50 but instead do 100/100 - that means BOTH ALL IN - and would KILL even more to have Children, a Legacy, to call Our Own. No Me and Her. Only US. What affects YOU affects ME. And if You're struggling, WE'RE struggling. I want to say to all those BOYS out there - GET OFF YOUR LAZY BUTTS AND START NOT ONLY ACTING LIKE A HUSBAND AND A FATHER SHOULD BUT BE THE MAN OF THE HOUSE. You work. She works. You provide AND She provides, too in ways You have NO IDEA about. Maybe You didn't have a Father what showed You CORRECT what REAL RESONSIBILE MEN DO. Well, find another Man who has a GREAT MARRIAGE and has kids and ask Him what His secret is to having a GREAT MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LIFE. I guarantee You He'll say "She comes first and so does My Family!" because THAT'S THE TRUTH. Ladies, if after ALL that doesn't bring changes to Your Marriage and Your Family Life, trust Me, there are PLENTY of REAL MEN out Here that would LOVE to treat You with the RESPECT and CARE and SUPPORT that EVERY LOVING WIFE needs, as well as be a REAL Man and BE what a FATHER should be to His Children. Man - YOU are showing YOUR KIDS how to grow up and treat THEIR WIVES and HUSBANDS and what a GOOD FATHER is. STOP BEING A SELFISH PIG - there. I said it! YOU set the example. It's YOUR House, NOT Your Kingdom or Your castle. In a TRUE Marriage, you PARTNER, not reign. Women begin over 80% of all divorce proceedings. TIME TO WAKE UP BOYS! If You keep going the way You are, or for a better way of saying it - You AREN'T - one Day You'll be in an empty house having to pay child support and do Your own laundry and all those things You TOOK FOR GRANTED in Your EX (and while We're at it, what makes YOU so special that You can't learn to clean or wash or say to that GREAT Woman You had sex with and MARRIED FOR BETTER OR WORSE "hey, go take a LONG bath - I'll take care of everything...") And maybe, She'll get Wise and find Someone like ME that will Love Her the way it's SUPPOSED TO BE and all You'll have left is one thing - REGRET. So Men, what are YOU going to do? The balls - literally - are in YOUR court....find some. Time's ticking. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR???!?!?
How are you single?
@@mjohnson1741
I'm saying
I loved this video. What really hit me was towards the end when you stated that about men enjoying women struggling. I too was a married single mother until I decided to get a divorce for many different reasons. The best decision that I ever made besides having my children. A lot of men around me, including my ex-husband were the most satisfied when the women in their life such as girlfriend, wife or sister were struggling or having difficulties. They took major joy in that. Quite a few of them are narcissists.
Unfortunately it is that way. 😢I’m staying single and Childfree
"Quite a few of them are narcissists." I think that this is something I've always known. None of the men in my life display empathy or compassion, and that makes me wonder if they're capable of even having those emotions. Men scare me. I try to stay away from them.
@@kromeo8949 Yes. I would love to have a relationship more for companionship, but I totally understand and accept that that may not happen. It seems to be too hard to find anyone that is genuine and trustworthy. So I’m content with being single and raising my children. It’s for the best.
I could never understand why my ex wouldn't properly help me when I was struggling, once it put me in a hospital (for a few hours, I was sent home as it all was simply due to stress, panic attack which showed itself as being really sick), I came back home from hospital and NOTHING changed. I never thought that he enjoyed seeing me like that, now it's breaking my heart, did he really just not care or was there some enjoyment too? That's scary
@@mpGreen03 That must have been such a lonely experience. I am so sorry you went through that. I hope you're safe and happier now and you're in a better place.
The first person I ever heard coin the term “Single married woman” is Cyn G. Even if she didn’t create the term she definitely brought awareness to it. Can we please give her her flowers 💐
🌷💐🌼🌻🌸🌹And also 🍟🥩🥓🥨🥑🍎🍊🍋🍏🍑🧇🥙🥗Because we can’t live off of flowers.
Absolutely. Cyn deserves her credit.
So weird how the term is so obvious because I used to look at my mom as a married single mom ever since I was in my early teens 20 years ago in Zimbabwe. I literally used that term a lot as a genuine fear for myself as an adult
Flowers 🌺 🌸 💐
💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐
This is why I absolutely LAUGH whenever I see men whining about the "mAle LonLiNeSS ePidEmiC" 🤡. They brought this on themselves. My mom got lucky with my dad. They both worked and my dad would do the grocery shopping and cooking and my mom would do the cleaning. They both worked very physically demanding jobs but they also both put in equal effort in raising me and maintaing the home. My dad is my role model and taught me to never settle for an adult child.
💯💯
😭🤚
My x was just like this. I stayed for 17 years as a single married mom. I even worked and went to school. He hated me going to school and said I should only do homework on "my time" which was after every one else went to sleep. My heart goes out to all women in this situation.
Wow! I hope you left that situation. They are so threatened by women being independent.
I lived this same life! I even put him through college before I finally realized he would never return the favor and left to finally finish a degree I had started before meeting him. Glad you're free now too ❤
I had this same thing happen to me. My ex husband was military and he was a Lucifer!
For any men wondering about the "male loniness" epidemic, see above video.
Additionally, even before kids women are still left short.
Women's pleasure isn't a priority. There is a much higher risk for women in having sex, with men. Risks include:
Physical and mental abuse
All risks involve pregnancy (assuming she's not having casual sex but that's meh on quality).
All risks involving him killing her since statistically the most likely person to kill a woman is her male partner, and the most common cause of death for pregnant women is homicide.
Like, I'm imagining the mental burden even before becoming a mother where her pleasure wasn't even something he could give her in the same quality as she gave him. The sheer volume of women who aren't satisfied by sex with men, and need to finish or satisfy themselves afterward, and then he gets mad about it.
So many men are just selfish, on a fundamental level, and nobody wants a selfish uncaring partner who thinks some flowers every now and then or maybe gifts can, or even comes close to being equal to actually doing the labor.
Facts
For ever single millennial woman, there is at least two single millennial men.
@@merulaamethyst2248 At one point women were 25, and they were taking the men from the older women. When these women reached an older age, now they too experienced the "new" 25 year old women taking the men from them.
This problem has always existed. Men have a natural bent toward being possessive of women, abusive, and seeing them as their servant. But they must be corrected and shown how to have a loving relationship with women. Christ instructed men to love women as much as he loved the church--that was in a time when women weren't respected. Our culture doesn't want Christ's instruction, doesn't want to wait for sex until after marriage, doesn't want ANY limits on relationships and sexuality, so we should expect this disaster.
@@nicolewright8833 No, we are possessive because we are seen as responsible for the woman. Part of being a provider and protector is that we have a woman to protect. The point of having a woman is so that we can invest in her so that there is a relationship out of it. You view it as if we keep you chained to the kitchen.
This bring up the old “joke” about how he has four kids, and I have five. I stopped washing his clothes, fixing his food, cleaning up after him, etc. I started dropping the care of the kids in his lap on days I felt I needed me time, and I left so he had no choice but to help with the kids. He had to figure it all out for himself. It’s gotten a lot better since I decided I was done with tolerating it. Good luck my married single ladies!
This would be me! I'm over it. My favorite was when my son was around 14ish and my ex said "Well, he is kinda self automated, so what stress do you have?" Um..yeah. Divorced, lost 80lbs, clean home and at peace. You are a single mom with someone going behind you and undoing all your hard work and not caring. I rather have 4 puppies.
Lol! The funny thing is they never consider compounded stress related issues! Your child didn't get to 14 by himself. The effects of 14yrs of being a single mom is lost on him. The burnout and exhaustion comes faster as you age and you have over done it earlier in life.
Yes!!! I’d clean, clean, clean just for him to come behind and mess everything up!!! He’d leave shoes, cords, and change on the floor for me to trip over, and I had the baby. I’d have to keep repeating myself about how it was dangerous since we have a baby who likes to put everything in her mouth, and it fell on deaf ears!!!
Also you still have to emotionally parent and check in with a 14 year old. Like, c’mon now! 🤨
And parent, because parenting has no end date. Honestly, my ex was just plain stupid. @@PlayerTenji95
THIS is what society wants to fearmonger us single childfree women and missing out on.😂😂😂😂😂 Yea give me the 50 cats and 100 hyenas for 500 Alex. The lady at 5:00 is a FANTASTIC birth control commercial.🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
Not hyenas 😂😂😂
Omg she really is and I feel bad I was suffocating just looking at her and then that gross thing just sleeping there. Definitely will kms before I do that.
Working full-time, finishing grad school, single mom of 4…life is easier than when I was a stay at home mom for over 10 years as a “married single mom”…that’s how much he dragged me.
And these types of husbands wonder why their wives don't want to be intimate with them.
exactly.
My dad asked me why I didn’t want to get married nor have children, I replied to him that it was because of him being my eye opener to the whole marriage situation because he was the one who made my mom a single married mother even when we moved to the states. It was just the 3 of us without my dad in the picture.
😮What was his response,if you don’t mind answering?
@@HaitianBlackGinger11 My dad said to me that he was disappointed with me and even called me a “lesbian”, because that’s like a woman’s duty on getting married and having children specially at my age (I’m 27). He even said to me that also he was surprised by how I gave the direct answer that it was because of him I didn’t want nothing to do with marriage. 😂
Funny thing how he later complained with my maternal grandfather about what happened and my mom’s family congratulated me instead that I was firm in my belief and told my dad why I didn’t want such things.
@@12Lanye Good for you! Thank you for responding.
@@HaitianBlackGinger11 Thank you and no problem:3
I long for the day im brave enough to tell my dad hes the reason im no longer interested in men as partners
As soon as I heard the term "married single mom" and saw all those clips, I was met with a wave of deja vu. This was my mom! My mom was a married single mom! This is why she left!!
Growing up, I knew something didn’t seem right. Thank god I didn’t fall for the trap.
I really love what you said at the end, because within our patriarchal societies, where women shoulder the burden of labor (physical, work, mental, emotional etc), it really begins to feel like many men are happy when they see women suffer. To 'know their place' and be reminded of it. Not only is it heartbreaking and awful to see how sad and alone and burnt out these women are, it is incredibly upsetting.
In nigeria in some ethnic groups, a man is judged by how happy 😊 and glowing ✨️ the wife is
I'm sorry but you can't say it's a patriarchal society if you are literally doing the same thing as the men, which is what you fought for. What would you call a society in which women were only allowed to stay in the kitchen if this is a patriarchy? Makes no sense. But I know feminism and logic don't mix.
@@Jaime-eg4eb "What would you call a society in which women were only allowed to stay in the kitchen if this is a patriarchy". Tell me you're dense AF without telling me you're dense AF. As if those women WANTED to be in the kitchen and were not TOLD TO.
If you're low-key troll, of your mom forgot to push out your brain out of her womb when giving birth to you.
@@Jaime-eg4eb you really missed the whole fucking point huh
"We want EQUALITY!" Gets equality... "No, not REAL equality!"
Men want traditional wives until those traditional wives also want traditional men.
Something noone on this video talks about is that not only are women doing the cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids, but the men expect the women to take care of them too. I was dating this loser once and at dinner with all of our mutual friends he told a story about how his mother cuts his fathers mean, then he slid his plate over to me. I slid it back and dump him, and he had the audacity to not understand why he was being dismissed.
He tried it!
What the actual hell?
Perfect response btw.
Leave the child to grow up on his own time, not stealing yours.
I'm going to be honest this is the Revelation I had growing up with 4 males in the house. Even though my father was a great worker and provider also had a bonus thing where he did cook he didnt clean up after himself that well and my mom would be constantly irritable, cleaning up after him and never gave herself time to do anything for herself. Yet he would say I know your going to clean and cook and take great care of me. So it's expected from men they feel even entitled but I'm not trying to fall into that trap.
LOL!!!!
The hell was expecting to happen flowers and kisses . 🙄
I am so happy I was allowed to choose not to have children. 53 1/2 zero regrets and I have zero venereal diseases😂
Just wanna say something:
It’s crazy to me that men will tell women to find better men while leaving them/being another child in the marriage, teaching their kids that that’s how a man is “supposed to act”. Having zero clue about why their teenage daughter is dating disrespectful Brian that smokes weed & plays video games in his mom’s basement.
Yeah, exactly. It keeps falling on women to find better men, while men are doing nothing to be the better men for women to find. They just want to avoid the accountability of their actions. They want to stay the way they are, so they keep throwing all of the blame back on women, knowing good and well that most men are the wrong men. The pool of suitable male partners is very small, and men know that.
She said that was the first shower ahe had--- IN A WEEK. 😱 My heart broke for her. Glad women are waking up. I have friends who are SAHMs--- IT IS ALOT OF WORK especially when your hubby does NOTHING. No way-- this is NUTS.
When I was married, over two decades ago, I was a single mom for years! I finally woke up! It was some of the loneliest times of my life!! I can truly relate to all of this❤
I am so glad that the younger generation is paying attention and speaking out.
The Trad-Wife Bubble was always going to bust. It's like people learned NOTHING from what our mothers, grandmothers, and aunties went through and want to try out what they left behind and feel happier and healthier for doing so.
This is not just for the trade wife. 70% of us have full time jobs and go into this thinking it’s 50/50. We get played exactly the same way.
@@mtc-j9i sorry but both trad wife and this 50/50 are not beneficial to women
Unless the trad wife grew up in a third world country with no other options, or was raised 100% in a traditional setting, and knew no other life, I have NO sympathy for these women. They know exactly what they're doing.
I remember a woman who was an entrepreneur when she was in her late 40s. She said that she had been happy in her marriage as a stay at home wife and had no complaints. Then on her 40th birthday her husband took her to see the solicitor where she was told if ever she left her husband she would have nothing as everything down to her clothes were her husbands. That day she said all feelings for her husband died. She got a small job and saved up to study. Then she got her qualifications and once she had enough money set up her business that became very successful because she was determined never to rely on a man ever again.
Yeah, that's why it's so dangerous to be an housewife with no income. That position of complete dependence is extremely dangerous. So many women have had to start their lives over from scratch, because the guy they were with left them with nothing. This is why men want traditional women, complete dependence means complete control over the woman.
I’ve been saying for years. Don’t get married or have kids unless he’s rich. Parenting is not easy, he should enough money to pay for nannies, house cleaners & a cook. If you’re in a relationship with a man & you have to work, you’re basically single.
This😊
😂😂😂😂❤
How about don't get married period, since at that point you're just a glorified leech.
@@jasonkoroma4323Do you have anything substantial for a woman to leech off of in the first place?
@@jasonkoroma4323then you need to not get married and or have kids. You have nothing for your legacy and they will struggle. Stop believing that struggledom is how your kids are supposed to be raised!
Just because you went through it doesn’t mean that they should too.
My gosh what is wrong with you?
5:27 - This poor woman is so unhealthy and after describing her life, I can see it’s sleep deprivation and exceedingly high cortisol levels and inflammation caused the the extreme amount of stress she is exposed to daily. So sad 😢
I know exactly how she feels, it’s like she’s narrating my life. All that stress and extra cortisol, I feel like I have the same exact body shape as her. I don’t get to eat uninterrupted and don’t eat before 2-4 pm most days, usually only have dinner but I’m obese and look like a balloon. If it weren’t for my parents, I would have gone off the deep end a long ass time ago.
I was watching one of those reddit stories about a lady whose husband was cheating while she was pregnant with THEIR THIRD KID
She dumped his ass, moved away, and at the end she said that her house was more clean and tidy, she was a lot less stressed and the morning routine worked waaaay better
Like. Imagine your husband being the one that's messing up your life, even without the cheating! Imagine the person who's supposed to love you and cherish you and share the load life gives you becoming just one more burden. A heavy heavy burden, bc that man is a fully grown adult that can fend for himself, he just doesn't.
That's why the statics show that single women are happier. That's why, even with the difficulties, divorced moms are seeing that their life is actually a lot easier.
And then men have the AUDACITY to question the women who are choosing to stay single and child free. You are the reason, buddy. You are the reason.
I’m so glad I have the husband I have, he works AND does more than his share of the house and child care. Ladies, do not settle for less!!
Same! We got lucky!!
Did you ladies talk to your husbands that you needed some help? I think the problem here is the lack in communication. It sounds to me like in your house you both do negotiating and working out your problems. These ladies don't even mention that they try to talk to their husbands about their needs.
@@toxicmale2264doesn’t he have a brain n common sense about what a partnership entails. you think women dont talk about it- they are just called nags n bit*** for having conversations n gold diggers if they end up divorcing as a result of it.
@@toxicmale2264Oh We were married for 10 years. I told him in detail the things that were bothering me several times. I don't drop hints either. In the end he basically said it was my problem. He told me I needed to get an apartment and figure it out and then I could come back to him once I figured out why I wasn't happy😂Its been 2 years and we've been divorced just over 1 year. I was gone for 6 months before he moved his new gf into the house. She is newly immigrated and is just learning English. I feel bad for her because she's trapped into being his maid now and can't leave but I feel mostly sad for my children because he moved a complete stranger into their house and is getting new family photos with her in them instead of me...He didn't even ask them if they were ok with her moving in. He thinks he is the main character and we're all just actors that can be replaced mid-season. So to answer your question: You can talk to people like this all you want but deep down the only feelings/opinions they care about are their own.
@@toxicmale2264 Kid, She doesn't have to talk to her husband - She ain't the manager of a grown ass man. He is the one who is supposed to partake in it, ask, communicate etc. These ladies don't even mention they try to talk ? TBH, are you so incapable of realising that they are tired of attempting to talk ? These Ladies get termed 'The Nagging Ones' if they try to talk. What excuse do you have of the Woman in the Video walking with a Bag and a Child, and her husband walking with his hands free ? Doesn't he have working eyes to see that She's carrying too much ? Even the crowd saw that. You guys will have such brainless excuses every single time. Incompetent Idiots.
Sorry but on behalf of some single moms that were bullied and bashed, I want to see some apology videos from the married women who thought they were so much better and more special than single morhers, trying to tear down the self worth of single moms (which ALSO meant a child would be parented by a depressed, broken, bullied single mother).
*Where are those videos?* Where are the "I was wrong", understanding, empathetic videos for single mothers? There should be dozens atleast!
Well said, I'm a single mum too, and these smug ugly married women make me sick. Maybe now they will understand that a stupid ring on their finger means nada.
@@candygirl1990Facts 100 they get it twice as hard because they have a whole husband and no help
It would be hard to spot a video like that, they still got a house and theyre getting alimony.
@@crazymusicgrlcheesecake alimony is not the equivalent of trauma or raising a child alone while these men roam around scott free without responsibility
You won't see them. It may cause interference with the money play. They gotta still sneak around, hide their diseases, play like everything is perfectly okay while slow burning due to their amazing husband love for the trash bin. Nobody never hears a peep from them. Not good for the image awards.
I am a woman turning 40 this year and more and more i realise that choosing not to have children has been THE BEST decision i made for myself. I don't know how women deal with this mess.
Thats why i called off my engagement. I was doing EVERYTHING while engaged. It was supposed to be the best pre years before marriage...nope. i called it off. His family disappeared. I made the best decision. Where are the MEN THAT PROVIDE AND PROTECT?!!!
Good luck with that real men
Very busy with their coworkers.
Facts. If the show before and during engagement that they are useless then it will get WAY WORSE after marriage.
None they're a scam
@@Erica-cf1xblmao 😂
I was a married single mom. He was a "perfect dad" in public and whenever someone else was around so the restaurant scenes didn't happen, but as soon as we were by ourselves... he did nothing but criticize me.
I know how lucky I am to have my husband as a life partner. While our marriage dynamic is that of one with more traditional gender roles, I have NEVER been made to feel that I was ever "less than" or subservient in any way. It's a truly an equal partnership. I personally believe that a lot of men say they want a traditional housewife, but what they really mean is that they want a maid to have sex with, dominate, and control. They do not understand that the strength of a "traditional marriage" stems from the fact that each partner contributes to the household equally, albeit in different forms. I've been that woman stuck in a relationship with a horribly toxic and narcissistic partner, prior to meeting my husband. Our marriage is successful because of the respect, kindness, friendship, empathy, loyalty, love, and gratitude that we hold for one another. Ladies and Gents, don't settle for anything less.
Little did we realize the Wedding Day was the "bride's day" because that was the last day she was going to get for herself
Saying that to my GFriends. In the 2000. Many side eyes and angry comment. Little that they know i was the "the parentified," child since i am 6 years old. Now in my 40s, they said...they envy me. After bashing me as spinster😂😂
Nope. No man child and their spawn for me.
That's deep, and extremely true.
Interesting comment. I've been thinking about wedding traditions lately, especially the focus on the bride in her beautiful dress. To be honest, sometimes it has parallels to almost like a sacrificial rutual. The woman gets honoured and admired in all her beauty and glory one last time before she enters a life of servitude to others...
Think about it.
@@eulennachathen449 Very good point. Also, the groom isn't focused on that day, but the groom will be the wife's focus for the rest of her life. Trading one day of happiness for one lifetime of servitude and misery. Marriage really is a scam to women.
@@AniWho268 I still believe it can be good. If we choose wisely. A generous loving man who provides as well as he can is worth a shot.
This is the marriage trap i’m in, not so proud to confess it.
I'm sorry, I hope you can leave someday and live the life you deserve.
I hope you can get out : /
Start planning your escape. Put aside pennies. Look at places to live. Start a tiny business, make it look like a hobby. Use contraception, in secret if you must. Start figuring out which friends and relatives will help, and who will not.
@@michellejarvis7878 I'm going to second this, *avoid having more kids* get on long term birth-control if you can (an IUD, or Implant)! Build contacts that will help you get out. Open a bank account at another bank he doesn't know about (at a credit union if possible) and start putting away whatever money you can without him noticing. See if any of your family or friends has a space you can go (even just a piece of empty land you can put a small trailer on to live in with you kids for a while once you get out).
Wishing you the best.
I am in the same boat as you
I was a breadwinner and homemaker now a happy single mother... so glad i got rid of the burden that was my husband ... dont intend on ever letting any man do that to me ever again
I never understood why women/mothers did these duties for so long with no help.
Once I saw how my husband acted after childbirth, I moved in with my mom for help. It takes a village
Well, it used to take a man all day to cut lumber for the house, slaughter and prepare animals, make repairs, walk or horse-ride to and from work, and kids used to be able to wander freely without the fear of being preyed on by other people because we literally used to know all 40 people in our communities. Men used to have VERY important roles in the family unit, because his work was what meant everyone survived. Nowadays, with modern tech, its negates a lot of mens' roles. As a woman I can afford all the technology I need to bridge the gap physically by being able to get a job. I can buy chainsaws, drive, hunt, shoot, mow, grow, harvest, AND on top of that as woman I know how to sew, clean, cook, and take care of kids. What can a man really do for me then besides keep me company if he doesn't know how to participate just as equally? When women went for equality women went for it. Men just weren't ready to catch up with the times. I sure hope the do. A lot of men are just sorely underprepared for the modern marriage market.
As a Christian woman whose still single and young (mid twenties) so many of my other friends got married for the wrong reasons. To experience sex. Now the outcomes wre catastrophic and they dont want to be married anymore. I dont think they realized it was more than that. My reason for staying a virgin is not only tied to religious reasons but i think about "if i do this is there a chance this relationship will last without a sign of commitment" or "if i do this will i be happy with myself after" its not just about my religious beliefs but its about how i think or feel about making a huge step like that in my life. So to fellow Christians stop risking a faulty and unequally yoked marriage because you want to lose your virginity. Sex has become more fantasized and praised than what it actually is. Please stop.
Exactly
Why is this here?
Virginity doesn't exist medically. It's a concept and it's sexist; tied to purity culture and fucked up a lot of people and mainly targets women.
I'm not saying go out and have sex willy nilly, balance is key.
From what I've seen, that's part of the reason abstinence only education is so bad. If you restrict information and experience from that like a constrictor wrapping around a neck, you're not gonna get good outcomes. People are gonna do stupid ass things, and experience horrible ones.
I never wanted to sleep with anyone, but I did live in a place where non-virgins were seen as dirty. Horrible marriages, and abusive situations that were hidden by the victim so more abuse wouldn't be inflicted upon them by their family.
It's not necessarily because they made a stupid decision. It could be because their education promoted an unwise human being. That's what I've seen. If they weren't brought up on absence only education, or they weren't socially forced to restrict themselves, then I have no experience with how that could have happened.
Just a different perspective. I wasn't brought up super religiously, so I wasn't ashamed of something I never did like my religious cousins/peers. Even if I had done that stuff as a teenager I would have been safe back home. Your situation could very well be entirely different than what I'm trying to talk about, and I fully acknowledge that, and retract my statements if that is the case.
@@jewels3400 I get what you're saying! I can only speak from a perspective that comes from what I've seen in the Christian community. Some actually fall in love and get married, and build a life together. But more than half were married to experience sex, and their marriages failed. In the church of course remaining a virgin is the goal but some don't wait until marriage which is their own choice of course. But unfortunately virgins who rush to get married to experience that side of life, always talk about regret and how they should have waited on someone else. Sex is TOO glamorized in society.
My sister is a married, single mom and bad enough that he doesn’t help but what’s worse is that he’s just another person for her to care for. She works a 9-5 job that requires her to be available after hours and on weekends, then she comes home to cook, clean, help the kids with homework…all by herself.
To get a better picture, their kids’ school is in their neighborhood. If the kids are sick and need to be picked up from school she calls me to pick them up. I work from home and so does her husband but I live in a different city and he’s their father. Tell me that’s not insanity!
😢😮 if I was you, I would have called him out and told him he ain't $h*t. That's messed up
I agree. SIL have the power to cuss out a POS, get er done @lifelikelisa! @@laurennkundimana173