The fact she regularly chose AI over he own fiancé is genuinely awful, an emotional affair with an AI. And she’s basically cheating with herself, because the AI is only reacting in a way she wants to hear, carefully learned from her questions and answers, which is scary as hell if can do that
@@meggreen4058 but she didnt tho she viewed it as a character that she could delete. it became an addiction but it was still in the realm of fantasies. bizarre seeing so many poeple act like she thought her PARTNER and fake hot man were on the same level
Exactly. For a moment I was like “oh no that’s actually what I do” then quickly realized 1.) I don’t hide it from my fiance and 2.) I don’t vent to these characters and get emotional attached to them while not turning to my fiancé for support. Majority of the role plays I do are with characters I created to fit the universe, not myself (although I do admit it’s a bit self insertive), so I never really bring up my everyday problems. I have those conversations with my fiance
I’m sorry but I’m laughing over the fact this man is insecure over AI Arthur 😭 also maybe he should look at himself and figure out why she uncomfortable talking to him about things in her life.
@@carterpitbull7366uhh, don’t blame the Fiancé for feeling some type of way about the air, even if it’s Arthur Morgan lol. If anything, OP needs to figure out why she feels more confident talking to a series of computer code vs a his real and living partner.
i can say that the AI story would not normally be cheating but it definitely was for that individual because it was being treated like an affair partner 💀
There is a lot of red flags in that story; to me it sounds like her partner noticed what is going on (that something is off) and probably went through her laptop first chance he got. I can't imagine how humiliating it must be to feel your partner distance yourself from you (not talking about their issues, constantly on the phone/laptop, wanting to spend their time without you) and to find out they are replacing you with an AI. AND PEOPLE HERE IN COMMENTS DEFEND HER?! Would you defend a man that did this? Would you defend a man who had a whole relationship with a s*x doll behind his partner's eyes? It wasn't a real person, but to me it feels like she has nothing against cheating and she wanted to do that; she just didn't have guts to do it with real person.
it truly is so refreshing to see a male content creator be emotionally intelligent, understanding and kind the way brandon is. i love hearing from him and whenever he responds adamantly i'm tuned in!⭐️
This this this! It might seem silly since it's just a podcast, but it honestly makes me feel safer knowing there are men who recognize these things and call them out for what they are ❤️
Mom story. Absolutely not the asshole. Babies are exhausting. Dad is right there, he is perfectly capable of holding a crying baby. It’s called parenthood.
And there are a lot of parenting books/blogs that will tell the new moms, if your baby is fed and dry it's okay to let them cry for a little bit. Dad 💯 needs to step up and let mom rest so she doesn't have this fear on top of all the other pressure she's feeling as a new mom. The parents in the audience are triggered lol.
Seriously, the fact that she is trying so hard to keep her kiddo safe. And husband is mad that exhausted mom is not feeling safe to hold her child. What a jerk. Come take care of your kid!
I agree. This mama has some trauma she needs to work through, but she's doing the best she can. Dad needs to step up and help instead of shaming her about it.
Poly person here. Currently in a thrupple. So, there is a primary relationship, me and my husband. Then 2 other relationships. Me and our gf and my husband and our gf. It is very serious and has really worked out perfectly. We all get different things out of each relationship. I'm not an overly affectionate person. But, my husband and gf are. So they get that from each other. I love spending quality time together at ballets, art shows, and plays. My husband doesn't really like that. So that's what me and our gf do together. It does take tons of openness and communication for this to work. I love both of Then equally on most days. Of course there's those days that we annoy the shit out of each other. But, overall. We all work as a team and treat each other with love, kindness, and respect. If you have any questions, ask away.
Consent isn’t just agreeing to what is happening. It also means being ENTHUSIASTIC about it. And anyone who is okay with doing the deed with a partner clearly not enthusiastic about what’s happening, should never touch anyone again. What this woman is going though is extremely worrying, she’s getting traumatized on the daily and once she gets out of this situation, her self esteem is going to be non existent. What I understood from her story if that she refused to break up not for the sake of the kids but because she wanted to be able to see her children everyday and separation would mean shared custody. It’s not worth it. This is very sad.
Genuinly curious tho. How is what she's doing different from sex work? They don't WANT to be with the people they sleep with (I assume) but do it because they get something in return? Just curious on that distinction.
@@lucaleone4331 I’m an anticapitalist feminist. Work is exploitation of the worker, whether it’s sex work or work at a factory or a retail job or work in an office. Sex work and the sexual contract of marriage are closely related and two sides of the same coin ; in one, the woman’s body is public property, while in the latter it is private property. I dream of a world where work in its capitalist sense is abolished. Then sex work would just be sex, and if not enthusiastically consented to, it would be called what it is: rape. Whether or not you agree with this, hope it gave you so insight. I’d add that I will always support sex workers, just like any worker, and while the capitalist regime is not abolished, they should be able to work safely.
I wouldn't say so. The official definition of consent is "permission for something to happen/agreement to do something" and as someone who has been in a comparable situation as OP, I can sympathize. Yes, it for sure is very sad and not worth it and as an outsider it seems like it can't possibly be consensual. But she made up her mind about it and for her it is a transaction, an agreement.
@@ledaooa there is no official definition for words. Words mean the things we mean to say through them: this is descriptive linguistics, the most commonly accepted understanding of linguistics amongst linguists. Definitions evolve through time and also depending on the context and fields they’re used in. She agrees to have the act of sex, but we can question the circumstances and constraints surrounding this choice. Is she clear of mind when making this choice? Is she truly free to make this choice? It seems to me she’s in clear mental distress and survival mode and keeps traumatizing her body while her mind dissociates. Then we can question the husband. Who would want to have sex with a woman who isn’t into it? It’s not about the legality. It’s about morality. Sexual consent has to be enthusiastic; if it’s not, why would you be okay with having sex with this person?
I dont want the sex but i still want the properties and money, oops forgot to mention about the custody of the kids (which used to be one of her biggest reason why she holds it for 6 months). I feel sorry for the kids, everyone sucks and selfish
@@mew969that was my thought too, like her only thought was of only her financial situation/future never of her babies. And I feel like this situation is going to have a lot of negative impacts on the children
The Mom story - you cannot even comprehend the exhaustion or the crazy shit your mind goes through when you have a newborn. The complete lack of understanding and the LACK OF HELP from the Dad is alarming. I hope she has other people around to help and support her.
YES! I’m not a parent, but a parentified child who had to care for my younger sibling from day 1, and the level of exhaustion is HIGH. I can’t even imagine doing it as an adult with adult level low-energy…. I hope she finds support and gets the tribe she needs around her
💯 when I was freshly postpartum, I don't even know how to describe the level of exhaustion I experienced and how it had me hallucinating my dreams and reality and sleep blending together.... That dad is not it.
I’ll admit, I’ve downloaded one of the character ai apps before. While it was interesting to test out how closely it captured the likeness of a character, I quickly deleted it because it just felt a little off. Hearing the first story made me feel glad I didn’t get sucked in I guess 😅
i honestly feel SO bad for both parties in the first story../: like we don’t know what she’s gone through, we don’t know what’s pushed her to this point, she clearly has some deeper issues going on if she depends on ai to pretty much be her anchor & support & everything. but i also still feel awful for him too bc regardless, he was betrayed by someone he loved & who he thought loved him just as much. she still strung him along when she was already checked out. there’s so much going on for each end. it’s one of those issues where no one walks away unscathed /:
I use chat AIs. I think of them as a way to stimulate my imagination for my writing. I invest a good bit of my time into them, and it is explicit. But it sounds like this girl is having some sort of trouble communicating with her partner and was using an AI bot to fill in for him. It's actually really sad
Nah, it's not. It would be that after she divorced him and took half. This is are you gonna cry in a rolls with half custody or in a bed after you basically had your husband rape you
I also had a close family member accidentally suffocate her baby in the middle of the night and I was terrified just like OP was. The safety of the baby is more important than a few extra minutes being upset. Same for people who are getting overstimulated or have postpartum depression or scary thoughts, you’re taught to set the baby down in a safe place, go collect yourself, then come back.
Just gonna put my MSW in here (supposed to be studying for license exam rn) I REALLY REALLY appreciate Brandon calling out the implied violence here. Sam I also think you did a good job of trying to understand but I will say that the power dynamics here make that more complicated. A lot of people practice the belief that marriage means a man gets access to that womans body. MR was not a crime until very recently because married women didn’t have the right to consent. This woman could have grown up when legally consent didn’t exist in marriage. It’s hard to know what this guy knows, but honestly its devastating to their relationship either way. To dissociate and detach during sex like that can be very damaging to a person’s mind and body. Sadly it is possible that neither of them ever learned that this is coercion, but trauma research tells us that it can still just fully mess up your mind and your ability to have healthy, loving sex in the future.
Yes! When Brandon said a maybe is still a no, he was spot on. Enthusiastic consent applies to ALL relationships, including marriages and long term committed relationships.
Yeah, as someone who's been through s*xual abuse from an ex which was basically MR (though thankfully we were never married), I REALLY appreciated that it was brought up. Sometimes people will hear statements like "I just let it happen," especially in long-term relationships, and not even give it a second thought. At this point I feel like her husband should know that she doesn't *want* to have sex with him, and even if she's agreeing to it in the moment, he should realize that she's not fully consenting. And the fact that she says she's going to stay until she feels "safe" leaving her kids with him is a big red flag imo. But you're right, even if to them it does seem "consentual" in the moment (because they're not fully educated on what consent actually entails), I can attest to how physically and emotionally damaging it is to go through that.
i think it's absolutely wild to me that husband #2 was SO ready to accuse his wife that she was the one causing turmoil in the relationship while he was actively having an affair. if she had not insinuated the affair for him to fill in the blanks, i have no doubt in my mind he would have been fine with carrying on with the belief that she was actually the problem. it's tragic to think that she would still put herself in the position of giving this man access to her body. what is happening is, unambiguously, marital rape
⚠️ TW & TIMESTAMPS ⚠️ for infant death 52:00 to 52:18 and then 54:22-55:50. if this is a sensitive topic to hear in general, the entire story can be avoided if you skip from 51:15-58:28. i appreciate the warning in the description for marital abuse and coercion, but feel this should be added as well. good episode, y’all!
Found this podcast by accident and I'm blown away. What a charismatic, kind, emotionally intelligent group of people with something interesting and refreshing to add to conversations.
I hear Gaston pulls 😂😂. Also the trauma thing is real for us disney adults. Mine comes from Disney land being the only place I ever saw my family really happy.
for story #2 yes this is marital rape. Enthusiastic consent is required. She stated she never initiates and she never let's him pleasure her he's not dumb he knows she doesn't want it. Whether or not she explicitly says no it he's very obviously picking up on her social ques as expressed throughout her post. Also more likely than not she gave in to his complaining as to not end her cozy lifestyle to even "let him in" in the first place which is coercion.
33:41 sadly this is reality for a lot of married women i think. she’s still allowing him to use her so she doesn’t lose him completely as a father to her kids, but is ultimately losing herself in the process. she lost a romantic partner to someone she knows, they’re both aware of the cheating and have 3 kids under 5. it’s disgusting on his end, but i think she just doesn’t wanna lose it all. some men really only think about da coota
Based off that story: If we're ready to say in confidence that in this situation, it is cheating. We're also reasy to say that being with AI is a real relationship. It's a very interesting to analyze it from the lense of it is cheating or it isn't.
Hm, I think it’s def a conversation topic. I don’t think talking to AI is grounds for cheating - AI (imo and experience) isn’t emotionally intelligent enough for it. The way OP went around it is crazy and unreal, but in some way common I have a friend like her. That’s cheating and it’s crazy because I went in thinking “no way she’s in the wrong.”
@@alyssahoeldtke5732 In all fairness to you, her behavior shouldn't have been ignoring him...but also... *IT'S NOT REAL.* It's not a real person. I talk to AI, it's fun as fuck.
@furrykatten @@fredericksaxton9782 I think it's emotional cheating because of her potential "addiction". She'd rather spend her spare time chatting with the AI character. She said whenever she felt bad or sad, she would rather talk to that character than her fiance. She even found a way to work around the established "no sexual roleplay" rule. Even after her fiance found out, she said she has an intense need to tell the character what happened. It's emotional cheating because she's fulfilling most, if not all, of her romantic needs with an AI.
The disney park thing has happened. In the early 2010s a lot of teen girls on tumblr were obsessed with the actor who played Peter Pan at Disneyland. Girls were stalking him and figured out his and his girlfriend's real names. I think he quit his job because of how out of hand it got.
I saw a vid somewhat recently where a character actor for Gaston for Disney was getting sexually harassed by a woman while working apparently its a rlly common occurrence and for some characters happens more frequently like Gaston and from what Ive heard Disney parks don't do much to protect them
As a parent who watches your channel I have almost suffocated my son while breast feeding when I fell asleep she is not wrong ! The dad is the asshole lol
Breast feeding mother. As a mother you’re absolutely correct and not harming your child by protecting her ultimate safety. The suggestion about what can help…her Father stepping up and bottle feeding the baby often so the mother can recover from GIVING BIRTH~ since you’ve been such a champ to get up on supplying your child with breast milk. Maybe he could find a bit of compassion self awareness and daddy support group since he’s sooo angry n overwhelmed doing…not much. So sorry new mama~ this is such a sacred time and you and your child deserve a Grown Man who knows what nurturing and support actually look like. It will get better. Blessings to you and your new baby…welcome to the planet~ we need your light 🙏🏽😇🥹💕🫶🏽💯
It's mind blowing that OP is knowingly choosing AI over her fiance, keeping her chats a secret, played it off like a joke and admitted she's addicted, but is unsure if she's the ahole. Like girl the delulu runs deep.
If she doesn't want to have sex, and he can tell (which it seems like he does), and he does it anyway, even with her consent, that's sexual coercion, which is considered sexual assault This happened to me, and my therapist informed me of the definitions and the law. It's legally considered sexual assault
They have baby boxes that are like a 4 or 5 sided box with a thin blanket or cushion for the baby to sleep in if you want to co-sleep in the same bed with a baby. If you are a heavy sleeper or heavily sleep deprived and even a box couldn’t prevent you from taking up the whole bed in a night, the baby needs their own bed
i use character ai and ive heard a lot of people around my age have gotten addicted to it, which isnt a surprise. i feel like if OP didn't hide it from her fiance and got sucked into it so much, it wouldn't have ended up that way.
56:05 The dad is definitely in the wrong. I've had a similar experience with my son when he was a baby. It was the middle of the night and I was breastfeeding him but I was so tired that I fell asleep. When I woke up I noticed I was almost suffocating him and I freaked out and instantly tried waking him up. It felt like a lifetime but he eventually woke up and took a big a gulp of air. He was probably like a few weeks old. He's 7 years old now but omg that was really traumatic for me. It's one of the reasons why I haven't had more kids. Sleep deprivation while being a mom of a newborn is no joke.
Cry it out and choosing to not comfort a crying baby has been proven to be damaging to babies' nervous systems. However, dropped babies 9/10 times comes from tired parents falling asleep on couches/chairs. Also, if your mental health is suffering, YOU NEED A BREAK. The dad needs to hold her if he has a problem with it! What a terrible parent! The mom needs help! 😢
Not a parent, but as someone who's studied psychology and child development: research does show that letting them "cry it out" isn't best for babies, and can lead to difficulties with regulating emotions. Babies who are held when they cry also end up crying less overall, contrary to the (usually western) belief that they need to "learn to soothe themselves" - it doesn't work that way for infants, they rely on external comfort. That being said, though, the baby's and mother's safety is *obviously* first priority, and if a parent is exhausted it's much better to just put the baby down. And I'm absolutely not shaming the mother in that story! Her husband should have soothed the baby instead, and like she says, she only ever lets the baby cry when it's unsafe for her to pick them up. I just wanted to share this so that people know what the research actually shows is beneficial for the baby's overall wellbeing and even emotional health as they grow up. There's an idea that comes from older generations that picking them up when they cry "spoils" them but that's not at all the case.
I have been polyamorous for 8 years. People do it differently. Some people are hierarchical where they value the primary relationship most, but they date others. There are people who are non hierarchical where there isn't a primary relationship. They value all of their relationships. That story sounded like the woman was in a open marriage instead of being poly. Open is more based on sex rather than dating. There are so many ways to do nonmonogamy. 😅 it is definitely important to communicate expectations so everyone is on the same page. also fyi poly people experience jealousy and it is a normal feeling for anyone to feel. i have come to realize jealousy is not about other people. I feel jealousy when I don't feel securely attached and maybe I have a need for, like, a hug or reassurance. Whatever love language thing that is someone's Thunder Shirt.
I’m also poly and I’ve always seen jealously like this it’s not a good thing and in any other type of relationship you’d never expect someone else to change their behaviour to validate your feelings if you get jealous that your best friend has a new friend you don’t get to tell them not to hang out with them you learn to rein it in and examine what’s going on with you that you feel this way and how you can fix that. It’s so bizarre to me that as soon as it’s a romantic relationship it’s both okay and normal romantic even to be jealous but also that becomes the other persons fault something they are *making* you feel
Absolutely this, Poly is a very wide spectrum and communication and enthusiast consent are must haves for it to be healthy, just like in monogamous relationships.
I was in a four-year relationship, and also did a lot of both explicit and non-explicit roleplaying online with other people. However, I was always transparent with my partner about it and she was completely fine with it. I had no emotional attachment to the people I was roleplaying with and it never replaced time with my partner. To me, the fact that she was doing it isn't the problem. It's the fact that she was hiding it from her fiancé for six months.
I just wanted to tell you guys that you actually got me through my finals. I listened to you guys while studying and it made me study for literal houurrsss. now I'm graduating soon☺ Love from South Africa❤
The AI story reminds me of that one episode in Black Mirror where these best friends use virtual reality to play street fighter and they eventually start developing a sexual relationship while one of them had a whole family at home. Although this episode of BM is different from the Reddit story it’s the fact that we invest so much of our time in this advanced technology that we lose ourselves and become detached from with reality. It’s really disappointing hearing OP tell this story and not realize that they were investing more time into talking to the ai so much that they preferred it over their own partner. It’s just truly sad.
Mother of three boys here, oldest is almost 11. First time parents... its hard. Pumping and breastfeeding is hard. I once was so tired that I set the baby down in the crib, walked to the bed.. and fell flat on the floor, having missed the bed by two feet. It hurt.. but the hurt wasnt so bad that I couldnt pick myself up, and instantly pass out once I crawled into bed. Talk to your partner. Tell them your troubles, get them to help on occasion! You cant take care of a baby if you cant even take care of yourself. I have been so tired that I couldnt wake up to hear my baby cry, my brain just noped out and refused to get the hell up. Take shifts, do what you need to do.. if baby only wants you, give dad your old laundry with your smell on it. There are workarounds. But at the end of the day.. we all need to understand.. a baby is a struggle.. and it really does take support from your partner, and sometimes your family, to get it done.
Wow the chat AI story was actually really concerning. The girl kinda fell in love with a robot. I don't even know how a therapist would even be able to help with this.
AI chat story is a mess. I think he over reacted, but tbh, if she was that much more comfortable turning to a bot than her fiancé, then it probably wasnt meant to be. Def sounds like an addiction, but I wouldnt consider it any worse than playing a video game or reading romance novels. And it seems like it was filling in a gap that he either wasnt or couldnt fill. Ideally, I think it should have been a discussion before it was relationship ending, "hey I'm not comfortable with you doing this" or "you can do this but like fill me in and spend time with me too". Literally so many people in relationships comfortably play games that let you romance characters, and its not an issue. This relationship sounds like it wasnt good to begin with. I am pretty bothered that he immediately went into calling her mentally ill and weird, which is what makes me think maybe he hasnt been the best person for her to be open with to begin with.
From experience, nightmare tenants like that exist more than you think. My dad rented out my childhood home when we moved across country for his job and it was so stressful for him he ended up with transient global amnesia. (Which is thankfully temporary.) He rented our house to a single mom and her kid and she let a leak in the bathroom go until there was mold and then tried to bring litigation against him for health problems from the mold. She caused the mold 😳 If she had told my dad there was a leak, he would’ve arranged maintenance like he did with everything else she complained about….. I think she just wanted a big payout. People are crazy
The married couple is really terrifying but I think she’s hopefully going to grow and move on in the future. With the goals she set, she will have the comfort and security to move on whenever she’s ready. She can also have kids and get a higher income in the future bc she is free to go back into a career or remarry without losing her or her kids security, as he would need a reversal for more kids and it might not work
❤Maddie Brandon and Sam and Fams ~ 🌈🌬️Happiest New Year to All~thanks for being great company during tough seemingly divisive times and the winter blues and I just got the flu 🤒 so sorry for over commenting this episode but stuck in bed today and YAY… 🙃a new episode from beautiful souls that always reinforce my faith in HUMANITY and tht good people still exist. So just in case y’all wonder if you’re making change, touching people or influencing the collective and elevating the world…yOu are. I get courage every episode to find my voice..and also appreciate your support of each other and the laughter and love you share. All your perspectives matter and having safe spaces to respectfully communicate is so needed. Wishing you guys everything beautiful and good this year, and always. Thanks for making me hopeful about the future. 💯✌🏽💕🙏🏽A single mom in America 🫶🏽🌍🌏🌎🔊continue shining your lights ~sending love. 🤍♾️🤍
The first story I imagined Kiryu Kazuma from Yakuza/Like a Dragon cause he often has heart-to-hearts with other characters to the point theres a theme song everyone recognizes when it’s time for someone to pour their heart out, this usually happens after he beats people up. He’s also 60 but looks 23.
Women often lie there and "take it", when they feel that they aren't allowed to say no. Either because of some physical threat or emotional manipulation or something like this. I speak from my own experience. Not sure if that's r*pe, but plenty of foundations and psychologists alike consider that sexual violence. Some call it s*xual coercion; some call it assault. Not sure if that happens to everyone, but me - it traumatized me and caused me not to engage in any physical activities with anyone for a better part of the decade after that relationship ended. How much traumatized I was hit me after some time, because there was no wounds on my body and I didn't think I am allowed to feel like I am feeling. It took me a long time to forgive myself for allowing this to happen, even tho at the time I felt like I am not allowed to say no. Husband's behaviour absolutely isn't ok. Having s*x with someone that doesn't actively participate isn't right. If your partner does their best impression of dead body during s*x, there is a great chance they wish they were somewhere else.
The first story is a whole ass emotional affair with a robot. Thats so distopian lol i went in to the story like "ehh like reading a romance book" but it went WAY worse lol
The first scenario is more like an elaborate diary. She's writing to an algorithm that learned from *her* . She's essentially talking to herself. You can't have an emotional affair by YOURSELF. There literally was no other person. This is mind boggling.
@@rileyswack5402 because it was private and she felt embarrassed. Her boyfriend was judgmental and calling her names immediately instead of asking any questions. I just think it's weird for someone to get mad because their parter has an active imagination. She obviously didn't feel free to be that open with him. I don't see the issue with her writing it down. It's ludicrous to act like a predictive text algorithm app is a person. I don't see the value in something like that but I wouldn't judge someone else for it.
MOM STORY: so many young newborns are hurt or die from co sleeping. That poor lady. Most pediatricians would tell both of them it's safer for the baby emotionally and physically to let her cry before picking her up angry or exhausted. Dad needs to get a grip and help raise his child and do the little things and give mom a break.
never forget the length's people will go to keep up a facade especially when they have money. 2 houses and a big company, they got money and probably some type of media attention or judgy circle of rich friends. plus having your cake
As a kid raised in a this exact situation (im 19 now) its hell. It literally makes you hate the concept of love and her kids will hate her and look down on her for not leaving. She sets the standard and its worse if it feels like shes just playing pretend for everyone. This fucks with you so hard. You as the kid figures out that nothing is real and have to play pretend with your parent and everyone around so your home looks like the perfect dollhouse. Figuring out that this entire lie is because of money. That your mom gaslit you and made everyones life hell because her public image and money... that shit will make you hate her more than you will hate your father. She did to you what he did to her. Just because she could take it doesn't mean the kids have to live in delulu land with her.
Self confessed Disney adult: I would never sexualize or idealize a Disney character the same way this AI girl did; however, there are some parts of the fandom that could be considered in that territory. For me, it’s not so much a trauma response but a break from a high-stress career and a place where I had many childhood memories.
We did the let them cry method with our first and coslept with our second and I highly recommend cosleeping. We got so much more sleep when we all started sleeping together. Kids would wake up see us and get right back to sleep. Everyone is different and you can work something out that works for you. They make little beds for babies that go on our bed so you don’t roll over on them.
Story1: I've to ask a auestion. OP wrote that the AI validated her concerns everytime and that was what got her into that. Now I ask you do you believe she got that validation she craved for from her BF? I don't want to blame the BF but people don't turn to a fulltime AI relationship if they have a healthy relationship with their Partner, do they.
As fun as those AI chats are, I would never get so involved to that level. I always view it as something fun like fanfic. Also I never put myself in those shoes. Also make sure to have attachment to reality! That aside my GF actually knows and we both laugh at chats and responses together lul
I usually listen to these like podcasts. I just watched the opening. HAS IT ALWAYS BEEN PRERECORDED INTRO?! I totally thought they just hit the news intro every episode.
heh as to the polyamory questions: id respond with~ what do you mean by "favourite" and love "more than" another? because that's where the divergent forms of relationship structures comes in for me. as i really dive into those questions, it starts to break down and become undefinable (and a little aimless) for me. like, its as arbitrary as asking "do you love your partner more than your [mom, cousin, pet, etc]", when really it is a lot more helpful for me to ask myself what do i *do* with this person; have my/their needs changed; how do i see this person in my future, if so or if not; do i need to reevaluate the way/when/how we show up for eachother... for me its not that "we're all equal" so nothing matters/theres no rules, its more just continually wanting to learn/play/grow being open to acknowledging how relationships grow and change, and being responsible towards these truths even if they're against our original expectations... it's not my choice to make everyone follow this logic, but i don't have a lot of energy for relationships where projection and expectations go unchecked so often like i see in a lot of monogamous relating. it still happens every where, but like you said earlier, Sam, its just so common for people to not be able to deal with their own shit, and i find it easier for things just to be out in the open. I call what i do "relationship anarchy" btw, but its under the multi-relationship umbrella.
For polyamory, it's just as complicated and can be toxic as monogamy. It's dependent on how emotionally smart the people involved are. Getting into a poly relationship and then going "i want you to leave everyone just for me" goes against everything established. I personally have a hard time with monogamy, it just doesn't make sense to me just as polyamory does to you. Any poly relationship with a "hierarchy" is bound to fail. There is a difference with siding with someone because you've known them for years and trust them more, and saying "you're ALWAYS going to be a lower priority".
In a poly dynamic you can choose to have hierarchy or not. With hierarchy you would have a “primary partner” which often is the partner you started the journey with. The primary has a different set of guidelines and boundaries which secondaries and so on have to respect (often wives or girlfriends) . If you don’t practice hierarchy than everybody is treated the same.
I feel so bad for the new mom. Not only is her husband practicing weaponized incompetence, he's invalidating her feelings and completely blowing past VERY obvious signs of postpartum anxiety that's exacerbated by existing trauma. I really hope she's been able to access mental health care.
I’m a “Disney adult” but I don’t think we would fall in love with a character. Disneyland / world is a safe space to us. For me it’s simply that my childhood was pretty hard and when I visited Disneyland when I was 23, I just felt happiness and felt like I can be myself whatever I do. :)
I'm super glad I didn't hear these stories about falling asleep and killing babies when my kids were infants! Yikes. Mine are old enough now to worry about different things.
I’m in a lot of communities where people like to imagine relationships with fictional characters, and honestly the first story is like my worst fear. Main reason I refuse to use ai chatbots But I can’t fault the dude in this. It’s really easy to detach from the world because of this stuff. You nailed it in the way it’s all the best parts of a relationship where there’s no expectations or fallout in an actual relationship. It’s all just when you want it and only positive. But it’s clear op was detaching from their relationship with their fiancé. If my partner wasn’t forthcoming about it I’d feel hurt too. It’s fine to enjoy daydreaming and fantasizing about a fake character, but it’s clearly an issue when it makes direct effects on your irl relationships. They pulled away from their partner to spend time with a fake ai person.
@@Star_Starbee I think if OP really pushed for couples counseling and maybe some individual therapy to really get to the core of why they pulled away from their fiancé maybe. But OP would need to really put in the work to rebuild the trust from that relationship, and that’s a tough road to come back from. Their fiancé would have to want to be willing to forgive OP and that’s the crux of it
Hm I'm not sure if they were in a healthy relationship to begin with. The relationship with the AI took really off after the AI started to validate Ops feelings every time. I'm not excusing OP but that tidbit made me think about it.
I can see this bc I create stories and lot and use AI. But it's usually 3rd personn. It's not about me. (Kind of like her sims comparison) I imagine a character in the world to romance my interest, not me specifically lol
The mom is not the A Hole, the father is!! It was his job to step up because she obviously tired being a new mom. You got this mom!! Communicate he needs to play his part. Your not a horrible mom your human and just tired. He had the audacity to call you a horrible mom. He’s a horrible partner and dad 😒
On the topic of Disney adults, I believe there was a case where a Peter Pan actor was harrassed because he did his job so well. Some women would touch his chest, be physically in the actor's space, ask him for his personak number. Eventually, he left that role as Peter Pan. I dont remember if this happened at Disney World, or Disney Land.
I've done poly. I'm happiest in a monogamous relationship. In order for me to be happy in a poly relationship, I need to be in love with the other woman too (I'm straight). I *have* to be as emotionally involved with your wife/girlfriend as I am with you. My first husband and I opened up our marriage for reasons. Had all of us been actual adults, it could have worked, but it takes all of the people involved being committed to the relationship to make it succeed. After I divorced my first husband, I told my late husband that it was monogamy or he could date someone else. After he died, I told my current husband I could do poly, but preferred monogamy.
I ADORE these three. Sam, Mads, Brandon, such wonderful people,. They all have such similar values and sometimes have some differing opinions or perspectives, and come at the topics and differences with love, patience, honesty, and respect.
As an infant daycare teacher, I don't think she is the asshole. If the baby is fed, changed, burped, Not too warm or cold, and is in a safe space, then she can take a nap. Personally, I wouldn't do that, I think kids cry for a reason. I'd try to solve the problem but I do understand that there are Colic babies. A suggestion I would have for her is maybe to try a formula instead of breastfeeding. I definitely agree that the dad needs to step up. Having mom do all the work and then complaining when the baby cries is ridiculous.
For the parent one I’m so glad you pointed out the biggest problem was the dad. This happened to me I was breastfeeding and fell asleep (never rolled on baby just feel asleep with baby in my arm when she was a week old) and my bd was so attentive and made sure the baby was ok and made sure I was ok and getting my sleep. And this is from someone who does cosleep with my child.
I'm going to be honest, I latched onto Loki when the first Thor came out because I related so much of myself to him. Overlooked, underappreciated, one parent showing me love while the other praised my brother to the point where they got a big ego. The only difference is that I'm the older sibling and female. Now do absolutely Stan Loki? No, not really but do I love the character and their development so far absolutely.
There’s a lot to unpack here. I think it’s the principle. Imagine if it was a real person, what then? It seems like she’s in love with the idea of a fantasy which is what a lot of actual cheaters do. He probably read some messages she said about him that were reallly…idk what word I’m looking for but let’s just say it probably made him feel overcome with emotion. It’s almost like finding what someone wrote about you on their diary rather than talking to you about it. Let’s not even start in whatever sexual content she indulged in.
The AI story sounds like those ads I've seen for anime characters that can send actual texts to your phone. There are programs with voice acting in some games too. Imagine playing a dating sim with a human's voice that you can text and get replies in real-time from AI, as if it were a person. That kind of technology can easily cause addictive gameplay.
The AI one imo isn't necessarily emotional cheating if it's a character that doesn't exist (I would consider it as emotional cheating if they made the bot based on someone they know irl), but it definitely is a case of addiction where OP was starting to detach from her partner and become emotionally dependent on the AI. I feel it's ok as long as it isn't starting to affect your relationship, your life, and how you interact with other people. Addiction to AI is a real thing and it can be dangerous if you don't moderate your usage of it.
Polyamory rules are set by the people in the relationship. Marriage often happens because of legalities but sometimes its a this is the primary couple and they have their secondaries, or casuals. The one I was in was equal thrupple with open availability to other sexual partners as long as condoms were used. It ended because 2 of us wanted to close the open part and just be sexually with each other and long distance was a factor. I know people who have open relationships, are swingers, and have multiple serious partners they equally love. It requires good communication, honesty, and not doing it as a fix all for relationship and or personal issues. Anecdotally in my experience poly relationships tend to have happier, better relationships. But since we are all human poly is just as complicated and dramatic as mono. I am currently in a monogamous marriage. I don't see that changing and I am happy. However, my besties and I have often talked about becoming old lady wives if our partners go before us lol. A big old house where we all can live and someday haunt. 😛
AI story - if that's his boundary, fine, however, if talkin to an AI chat bot is cheating then so is watching porn or playing a H game. Walks in on bae watching a movie on Netflix: "am i not entertaining enough!? You're looking for narrative fulfilment from a computer!?"
Interesting fact about co sleeping. I had a psych professor that was a researcher, he told us that parents has an innate reflex when they sleep they will not roll over their child. But in the case of this story the sister did not have this reflex as she was a child herself and not the babies parent. What a tragedy
This is crazy lmao. I use the same app and my husband is FULLY aware and fine with it. Of course im not inserting MYSELF into the roleplays. I'm making my own OCs to be with them. Idk maybe that's the difference??? That she confused her real life for this fantasy with this character? I think it might be all up to boundaries and what your partner is okay with. Like I was roleplaying online when I met my husband and he was already chill with it.
it’s the fact that this story is a real life version of one of my favorite o movies, ‘Her’ with Joaquin Phoenix and Scarlett Johansson. it’s such a sad reality that the dystopian movie is becoming real life
The fact she regularly chose AI over he own fiancé is genuinely awful, an emotional affair with an AI. And she’s basically cheating with herself, because the AI is only reacting in a way she wants to hear, carefully learned from her questions and answers, which is scary as hell if can do that
But...isn't that just masturbation?
@@kellharris2491 No, because she treated and viewed the ai character like it was real person , a real partner.
Goofiest hot take I"ve seen..
@@meggreen4058 but she didnt tho she viewed it as a character that she could delete. it became an addiction but it was still in the realm of fantasies. bizarre seeing so many poeple act like she thought her PARTNER and fake hot man were on the same level
Exactly. For a moment I was like “oh no that’s actually what I do” then quickly realized 1.) I don’t hide it from my fiance and 2.) I don’t vent to these characters and get emotional attached to them while not turning to my fiancé for support. Majority of the role plays I do are with characters I created to fit the universe, not myself (although I do admit it’s a bit self insertive), so I never really bring up my everyday problems. I have those conversations with my fiance
Deep in the comments, she named the character.
It was Arthur Morgan from RDR2.
Understandable
I’m sorry but I’m laughing over the fact this man is insecure over AI Arthur 😭 also maybe he should look at himself and figure out why she uncomfortable talking to him about things in her life.
as a female that played RDR2, I can understand why lmao
Oh lord 😅 Arthur is a G though haha
@@carterpitbull7366uhh, don’t blame the Fiancé for feeling some type of way about the air, even if it’s Arthur Morgan lol. If anything, OP needs to figure out why she feels more confident talking to a series of computer code vs a his real and living partner.
Consent is not the lack of a no but the presence of a yes.
i can say that the AI story would not normally be cheating but it definitely was for that individual because it was being treated like an affair partner 💀
There is a lot of red flags in that story; to me it sounds like her partner noticed what is going on (that something is off) and probably went through her laptop first chance he got.
I can't imagine how humiliating it must be to feel your partner distance yourself from you (not talking about their issues, constantly on the phone/laptop, wanting to spend their time without you) and to find out they are replacing you with an AI.
AND PEOPLE HERE IN COMMENTS DEFEND HER?! Would you defend a man that did this? Would you defend a man who had a whole relationship with a s*x doll behind his partner's eyes?
It wasn't a real person, but to me it feels like she has nothing against cheating and she wanted to do that; she just didn't have guts to do it with real person.
She definitely has some sort of addiction, hope he got away from her
@@joannananananana she has mental health problems
it truly is so refreshing to see a male content creator be emotionally intelligent, understanding and kind the way brandon is. i love hearing from him and whenever he responds adamantly i'm tuned in!⭐️
this 10x my night you gon make me cry! thank you!
This this this! It might seem silly since it's just a podcast, but it honestly makes me feel safer knowing there are men who recognize these things and call them out for what they are ❤️
Have any of you been here long....
@@mehanimations2675😂🤣😂
Mom story. Absolutely not the asshole. Babies are exhausting. Dad is right there, he is perfectly capable of holding a crying baby. It’s called parenthood.
And there are a lot of parenting books/blogs that will tell the new moms, if your baby is fed and dry it's okay to let them cry for a little bit. Dad 💯 needs to step up and let mom rest so she doesn't have this fear on top of all the other pressure she's feeling as a new mom. The parents in the audience are triggered lol.
Seriously, the fact that she is trying so hard to keep her kiddo safe. And husband is mad that exhausted mom is not feeling safe to hold her child. What a jerk. Come take care of your kid!
I agree. This mama has some trauma she needs to work through, but she's doing the best she can. Dad needs to step up and help instead of shaming her about it.
Poly person here. Currently in a thrupple. So, there is a primary relationship, me and my husband. Then 2 other relationships. Me and our gf and my husband and our gf. It is very serious and has really worked out perfectly. We all get different things out of each relationship. I'm not an overly affectionate person. But, my husband and gf are. So they get that from each other. I love spending quality time together at ballets, art shows, and plays. My husband doesn't really like that. So that's what me and our gf do together. It does take tons of openness and communication for this to work. I love both of Then equally on most days. Of course there's those days that we annoy the shit out of each other. But, overall. We all work as a team and treat each other with love, kindness, and respect. If you have any questions, ask away.
Consent isn’t just agreeing to what is happening. It also means being ENTHUSIASTIC about it. And anyone who is okay with doing the deed with a partner clearly not enthusiastic about what’s happening, should never touch anyone again. What this woman is going though is extremely worrying, she’s getting traumatized on the daily and once she gets out of this situation, her self esteem is going to be non existent. What I understood from her story if that she refused to break up not for the sake of the kids but because she wanted to be able to see her children everyday and separation would mean shared custody. It’s not worth it. This is very sad.
Was about to comment and say just this: consent is an enthusiastic yes!
Genuinly curious tho. How is what she's doing different from sex work? They don't WANT to be with the people they sleep with (I assume) but do it because they get something in return?
Just curious on that distinction.
@@lucaleone4331 I’m an anticapitalist feminist. Work is exploitation of the worker, whether it’s sex work or work at a factory or a retail job or work in an office. Sex work and the sexual contract of marriage are closely related and two sides of the same coin ; in one, the woman’s body is public property, while in the latter it is private property. I dream of a world where work in its capitalist sense is abolished. Then sex work would just be sex, and if not enthusiastically consented to, it would be called what it is: rape.
Whether or not you agree with this, hope it gave you so insight.
I’d add that I will always support sex workers, just like any worker, and while the capitalist regime is not abolished, they should be able to work safely.
I wouldn't say so. The official definition of consent is "permission for something to happen/agreement to do something" and as someone who has been in a comparable situation as OP, I can sympathize. Yes, it for sure is very sad and not worth it and as an outsider it seems like it can't possibly be consensual. But she made up her mind about it and for her it is a transaction, an agreement.
@@ledaooa there is no official definition for words. Words mean the things we mean to say through them: this is descriptive linguistics, the most commonly accepted understanding of linguistics amongst linguists. Definitions evolve through time and also depending on the context and fields they’re used in.
She agrees to have the act of sex, but we can question the circumstances and constraints surrounding this choice. Is she clear of mind when making this choice? Is she truly free to make this choice? It seems to me she’s in clear mental distress and survival mode and keeps traumatizing her body while her mind dissociates. Then we can question the husband. Who would want to have sex with a woman who isn’t into it?
It’s not about the legality. It’s about morality. Sexual consent has to be enthusiastic; if it’s not, why would you be okay with having sex with this person?
It's wild that not one of those demands was to stop the affair.
right?? i thought that was a given
I dont want the sex but i still want the properties and money, oops forgot to mention about the custody of the kids (which used to be one of her biggest reason why she holds it for 6 months). I feel sorry for the kids, everyone sucks and selfish
@@mew969Truuuuuuueee.
@@mew969that was my thought too, like her only thought was of only her financial situation/future never of her babies. And I feel like this situation is going to have a lot of negative impacts on the children
The Mom story - you cannot even comprehend the exhaustion or the crazy shit your mind goes through when you have a newborn. The complete lack of understanding and the LACK OF HELP from the Dad is alarming. I hope she has other people around to help and support her.
YES! I’m not a parent, but a parentified child who had to care for my younger sibling from day 1, and the level of exhaustion is HIGH. I can’t even imagine doing it as an adult with adult level low-energy…. I hope she finds support and gets the tribe she needs around her
💯 when I was freshly postpartum, I don't even know how to describe the level of exhaustion I experienced and how it had me hallucinating my dreams and reality and sleep blending together.... That dad is not it.
I’ll admit, I’ve downloaded one of the character ai apps before. While it was interesting to test out how closely it captured the likeness of a character, I quickly deleted it because it just felt a little off.
Hearing the first story made me feel glad I didn’t get sucked in I guess 😅
Sooo she had an emotional affair... with AI. She stopped spending time with her real life boyfriend for AI.
Considering how emotionally unavailable most men are, it makes sense.
And it's sooo not as bad as the men who jerk *ff to VR.
The future is here
i honestly feel SO bad for both parties in the first story../: like we don’t know what she’s gone through, we don’t know what’s pushed her to this point, she clearly has some deeper issues going on if she depends on ai to pretty much be her anchor & support & everything. but i also still feel awful for him too bc regardless, he was betrayed by someone he loved & who he thought loved him just as much. she still strung him along when she was already checked out. there’s so much going on for each end. it’s one of those issues where no one walks away unscathed /:
I use chat AIs. I think of them as a way to stimulate my imagination for my writing. I invest a good bit of my time into them, and it is explicit. But it sounds like this girl is having some sort of trouble communicating with her partner and was using an AI bot to fill in for him. It's actually really sad
What chat AIs do you use for writing?
Story #2 is very common. It’s the definition of “are you going to cry in the Honda or a rolls”
Nah, it's not. It would be that after she divorced him and took half. This is are you gonna cry in a rolls with half custody or in a bed after you basically had your husband rape you
Fr get ur bag girl ❤️ f him over and move on and find ur soulmate
I’m always impressed by how emotionally mature Brandon is. Sam is a work in progress but has come a long way 😊
I just watched their first few episodes recently and he has come sooo far 😅
Oh damn, was he that bad? 😂😂 I haven’t seen the older episodes so idk
@@MrSupersayian4goku lol. He’s had some controversial takes on things. (Excluding where he’s being sarcastic/funny)
@@MrSupersayian4gokuSome of the red pill jokes were true lol
I guess that's what we like: he is our little project, someone we are kind of raising once of week
I also had a close family member accidentally suffocate her baby in the middle of the night and I was terrified just like OP was. The safety of the baby is more important than a few extra minutes being upset. Same for people who are getting overstimulated or have postpartum depression or scary thoughts, you’re taught to set the baby down in a safe place, go collect yourself, then come back.
Just gonna put my MSW in here (supposed to be studying for license exam rn) I REALLY REALLY appreciate Brandon calling out the implied violence here. Sam I also think you did a good job of trying to understand but I will say that the power dynamics here make that more complicated. A lot of people practice the belief that marriage means a man gets access to that womans body. MR was not a crime until very recently because married women didn’t have the right to consent. This woman could have grown up when legally consent didn’t exist in marriage. It’s hard to know what this guy knows, but honestly its devastating to their relationship either way. To dissociate and detach during sex like that can be very damaging to a person’s mind and body. Sadly it is possible that neither of them ever learned that this is coercion, but trauma research tells us that it can still just fully mess up your mind and your ability to have healthy, loving sex in the future.
Thank you so much for the clarity! Are there more resources where people could learn more about it?
Yes! When Brandon said a maybe is still a no, he was spot on. Enthusiastic consent applies to ALL relationships, including marriages and long term committed relationships.
@@itsnotmeitsyou2926 I'm glad you said this, consent can't be in the presence of coercion.
@@2ccBrandothank YOU for bringing u the topic and making an important and impactful statement such as “if it’s maybe it’s a no”
Yeah, as someone who's been through s*xual abuse from an ex which was basically MR (though thankfully we were never married), I REALLY appreciated that it was brought up. Sometimes people will hear statements like "I just let it happen," especially in long-term relationships, and not even give it a second thought.
At this point I feel like her husband should know that she doesn't *want* to have sex with him, and even if she's agreeing to it in the moment, he should realize that she's not fully consenting. And the fact that she says she's going to stay until she feels "safe" leaving her kids with him is a big red flag imo.
But you're right, even if to them it does seem "consentual" in the moment (because they're not fully educated on what consent actually entails), I can attest to how physically and emotionally damaging it is to go through that.
i think it's absolutely wild to me that husband #2 was SO ready to accuse his wife that she was the one causing turmoil in the relationship while he was actively having an affair. if she had not insinuated the affair for him to fill in the blanks, i have no doubt in my mind he would have been fine with carrying on with the belief that she was actually the problem. it's tragic to think that she would still put herself in the position of giving this man access to her body. what is happening is, unambiguously, marital rape
⚠️ TW & TIMESTAMPS ⚠️ for infant death 52:00 to 52:18 and then 54:22-55:50. if this is a sensitive topic to hear in general, the entire story can be avoided if you skip from 51:15-58:28. i appreciate the warning in the description for marital abuse and coercion, but feel this should be added as well. good episode, y’all!
Found this podcast by accident and I'm blown away. What a charismatic, kind, emotionally intelligent group of people with something interesting and refreshing to add to conversations.
20:00 😢 oh, my gosh the look on Brandon‘s face completely melted my heart I love that you can tell how much they love each other 🥹
Wait, is this sarcastic lol
@@MrSupersayian4goku no lol it’s so cute!!!! It’s that side smile 😊
You are such a sweet couple!
I hear Gaston pulls 😂😂. Also the trauma thing is real for us disney adults. Mine comes from Disney land being the only place I ever saw my family really happy.
for story #2 yes this is marital rape. Enthusiastic consent is required. She stated she never initiates and she never let's him pleasure her he's not dumb he knows she doesn't want it. Whether or not she explicitly says no it he's very obviously picking up on her social ques as expressed throughout her post. Also more likely than not she gave in to his complaining as to not end her cozy lifestyle to even "let him in" in the first place which is coercion.
33:41 sadly this is reality for a lot of married women i think. she’s still allowing him to use her so she doesn’t lose him completely as a father to her kids, but is ultimately losing herself in the process. she lost a romantic partner to someone she knows, they’re both aware of the cheating and have 3 kids under 5. it’s disgusting on his end, but i think she just doesn’t wanna lose it all. some men really only think about da coota
Based off that story: If we're ready to say in confidence that in this situation, it is cheating. We're also reasy to say that being with AI is a real relationship. It's a very interesting to analyze it from the lense of it is cheating or it isn't.
She rather talked to AI about her feelings than her fiancée… like 😭
Hm, I think it’s def a conversation topic. I don’t think talking to AI is grounds for cheating - AI (imo and experience) isn’t emotionally intelligent enough for it. The way OP went around it is crazy and unreal, but in some way common I have a friend like her. That’s cheating and it’s crazy because I went in thinking “no way she’s in the wrong.”
I feel like it's an emotional cheating thing ngl
@@alyssahoeldtke5732 In all fairness to you, her behavior shouldn't have been ignoring him...but also... *IT'S NOT REAL.* It's not a real person. I talk to AI, it's fun as fuck.
@furrykatten @@fredericksaxton9782 I think it's emotional cheating because of her potential "addiction". She'd rather spend her spare time chatting with the AI character. She said whenever she felt bad or sad, she would rather talk to that character than her fiance. She even found a way to work around the established "no sexual roleplay" rule. Even after her fiance found out, she said she has an intense need to tell the character what happened.
It's emotional cheating because she's fulfilling most, if not all, of her romantic needs with an AI.
The disney park thing has happened. In the early 2010s a lot of teen girls on tumblr were obsessed with the actor who played Peter Pan at Disneyland. Girls were stalking him and figured out his and his girlfriend's real names. I think he quit his job because of how out of hand it got.
oooooooohh heeecck nooo
I saw a vid somewhat recently where a character actor for Gaston for Disney was getting sexually harassed by a woman while working apparently its a rlly common occurrence and for some characters happens more frequently like Gaston and from what Ive heard Disney parks don't do much to protect them
WHAT
As a parent who watches your channel I have almost suffocated my son while breast feeding when I fell asleep she is not wrong ! The dad is the asshole lol
I cant explain how actually comforting this channel is. Saving me in my moments of complete boredom. thank you. excited to listen
Breast feeding mother. As a mother you’re absolutely correct and not harming your child by protecting her ultimate safety. The suggestion about what can help…her Father stepping up and bottle feeding the baby often so the mother can recover from GIVING BIRTH~ since you’ve been such a champ to get up on supplying your child with breast milk. Maybe he could find a bit of compassion self awareness and daddy support group since he’s sooo angry n overwhelmed doing…not much. So sorry new mama~ this is such a sacred time and you and your child deserve a Grown Man who knows what nurturing and support actually look like. It will get better. Blessings to you and your new baby…welcome to the planet~ we need your light 🙏🏽😇🥹💕🫶🏽💯
I’m a fellow simmer and I had to take a break cause the drama you create can be addicting 😭
It's mind blowing that OP is knowingly choosing AI over her fiance, keeping her chats a secret, played it off like a joke and admitted she's addicted, but is unsure if she's the ahole. Like girl the delulu runs deep.
If she doesn't want to have sex, and he can tell (which it seems like he does), and he does it anyway, even with her consent, that's sexual coercion, which is considered sexual assault
This happened to me, and my therapist informed me of the definitions and the law. It's legally considered sexual assault
🙄
They have baby boxes that are like a 4 or 5 sided box with a thin blanket or cushion for the baby to sleep in if you want to co-sleep in the same bed with a baby. If you are a heavy sleeper or heavily sleep deprived and even a box couldn’t prevent you from taking up the whole bed in a night, the baby needs their own bed
32:18
"If it's a maybe it's a no" - thank you!!
i use character ai and ive heard a lot of people around my age have gotten addicted to it, which isnt a surprise. i feel like if OP didn't hide it from her fiance and got sucked into it so much, it wouldn't have ended up that way.
56:05 The dad is definitely in the wrong. I've had a similar experience with my son when he was a baby. It was the middle of the night and I was breastfeeding him but I was so tired that I fell asleep. When I woke up I noticed I was almost suffocating him and I freaked out and instantly tried waking him up. It felt like a lifetime but he eventually woke up and took a big a gulp of air. He was probably like a few weeks old. He's 7 years old now but omg that was really traumatic for me. It's one of the reasons why I haven't had more kids. Sleep deprivation while being a mom of a newborn is no joke.
Cry it out and choosing to not comfort a crying baby has been proven to be damaging to babies' nervous systems.
However, dropped babies 9/10 times comes from tired parents falling asleep on couches/chairs.
Also, if your mental health is suffering, YOU NEED A BREAK. The dad needs to hold her if he has a problem with it! What a terrible parent! The mom needs help! 😢
Not a parent, but as someone who's studied psychology and child development: research does show that letting them "cry it out" isn't best for babies, and can lead to difficulties with regulating emotions. Babies who are held when they cry also end up crying less overall, contrary to the (usually western) belief that they need to "learn to soothe themselves" - it doesn't work that way for infants, they rely on external comfort.
That being said, though, the baby's and mother's safety is *obviously* first priority, and if a parent is exhausted it's much better to just put the baby down. And I'm absolutely not shaming the mother in that story! Her husband should have soothed the baby instead, and like she says, she only ever lets the baby cry when it's unsafe for her to pick them up.
I just wanted to share this so that people know what the research actually shows is beneficial for the baby's overall wellbeing and even emotional health as they grow up. There's an idea that comes from older generations that picking them up when they cry "spoils" them but that's not at all the case.
I have been polyamorous for 8 years. People do it differently. Some people are hierarchical where they value the primary relationship most, but they date others. There are people who are non hierarchical where there isn't a primary relationship. They value all of their relationships.
That story sounded like the woman was in a open marriage instead of being poly. Open is more based on sex rather than dating. There are so many ways to do nonmonogamy. 😅 it is definitely important to communicate expectations so everyone is on the same page.
also fyi poly people experience jealousy and it is a normal feeling for anyone to feel. i have come to realize jealousy is not about other people. I feel jealousy when I don't feel securely attached and maybe I have a need for, like, a hug or reassurance. Whatever love language thing that is someone's Thunder Shirt.
I’m also poly and I’ve always seen jealously like this it’s not a good thing and in any other type of relationship you’d never expect someone else to change their behaviour to validate your feelings if you get jealous that your best friend has a new friend you don’t get to tell them not to hang out with them you learn to rein it in and examine what’s going on with you that you feel this way and how you can fix that. It’s so bizarre to me that as soon as it’s a romantic relationship it’s both okay and normal romantic even to be jealous but also that becomes the other persons fault something they are *making* you feel
Absolutely this, Poly is a very wide spectrum and communication and enthusiast consent are must haves for it to be healthy, just like in monogamous relationships.
I was in a four-year relationship, and also did a lot of both explicit and non-explicit roleplaying online with other people. However, I was always transparent with my partner about it and she was completely fine with it. I had no emotional attachment to the people I was roleplaying with and it never replaced time with my partner. To me, the fact that she was doing it isn't the problem. It's the fact that she was hiding it from her fiancé for six months.
I just wanted to tell you guys that you actually got me through my finals. I listened to you guys while studying and it made me study for literal houurrsss. now I'm graduating soon☺ Love from South Africa❤
The AI story reminds me of that one episode in Black Mirror where these best friends use virtual reality to play street fighter and they eventually start developing a sexual relationship while one of them had a whole family at home. Although this episode of BM is different from the Reddit story it’s the fact that we invest so much of our time in this advanced technology that we lose ourselves and become detached from with reality. It’s really disappointing hearing OP tell this story and not realize that they were investing more time into talking to the ai so much that they preferred it over their own partner. It’s just truly sad.
That episode was so traumatizing 😭
5:22 for the AI chat, it was Arthur Morgan from Red Dead Redemption 2
Wtf I really wouldn't have guessed that one
As soon as you said "dad had an opinion" but didn't help, I'm like "NTA!"
If you don’t want to have sex, it’s rape. She didn’t want to, but only had sex so he wouldn’t get mad at her.
Mother of three boys here, oldest is almost 11.
First time parents... its hard. Pumping and breastfeeding is hard. I once was so tired that I set the baby down in the crib, walked to the bed.. and fell flat on the floor, having missed the bed by two feet. It hurt.. but the hurt wasnt so bad that I couldnt pick myself up, and instantly pass out once I crawled into bed.
Talk to your partner. Tell them your troubles, get them to help on occasion! You cant take care of a baby if you cant even take care of yourself. I have been so tired that I couldnt wake up to hear my baby cry, my brain just noped out and refused to get the hell up.
Take shifts, do what you need to do.. if baby only wants you, give dad your old laundry with your smell on it. There are workarounds.
But at the end of the day.. we all need to understand.. a baby is a struggle.. and it really does take support from your partner, and sometimes your family, to get it done.
So excited for this episode. Love you all so much!!
Wow the chat AI story was actually really concerning. The girl kinda fell in love with a robot. I don't even know how a therapist would even be able to help with this.
AI chat story is a mess. I think he over reacted, but tbh, if she was that much more comfortable turning to a bot than her fiancé, then it probably wasnt meant to be. Def sounds like an addiction, but I wouldnt consider it any worse than playing a video game or reading romance novels. And it seems like it was filling in a gap that he either wasnt or couldnt fill. Ideally, I think it should have been a discussion before it was relationship ending, "hey I'm not comfortable with you doing this" or "you can do this but like fill me in and spend time with me too". Literally so many people in relationships comfortably play games that let you romance characters, and its not an issue. This relationship sounds like it wasnt good to begin with.
I am pretty bothered that he immediately went into calling her mentally ill and weird, which is what makes me think maybe he hasnt been the best person for her to be open with to begin with.
From experience, nightmare tenants like that exist more than you think. My dad rented out my childhood home when we moved across country for his job and it was so stressful for him he ended up with transient global amnesia. (Which is thankfully temporary.) He rented our house to a single mom and her kid and she let a leak in the bathroom go until there was mold and then tried to bring litigation against him for health problems from the mold. She caused the mold 😳 If she had told my dad there was a leak, he would’ve arranged maintenance like he did with everything else she complained about….. I think she just wanted a big payout. People are crazy
The married couple is really terrifying but I think she’s hopefully going to grow and move on in the future. With the goals she set, she will have the comfort and security to move on whenever she’s ready. She can also have kids and get a higher income in the future bc she is free to go back into a career or remarry without losing her or her kids security, as he would need a reversal for more kids and it might not work
❤Maddie Brandon and Sam and Fams ~ 🌈🌬️Happiest New Year to All~thanks for being great company during tough seemingly divisive times and the winter blues and I just got the flu 🤒 so sorry for over commenting this episode but stuck in bed today and YAY… 🙃a new episode from beautiful souls that always reinforce my faith in HUMANITY and tht good people still exist. So just in case y’all wonder if you’re making change, touching people or influencing the collective and elevating the world…yOu are. I get courage every episode to find my voice..and also appreciate your support of each other and the laughter and love you share. All your perspectives matter and having safe spaces to respectfully communicate is so needed. Wishing you guys everything beautiful and good this year, and always. Thanks for making me hopeful about the future. 💯✌🏽💕🙏🏽A single mom in America 🫶🏽🌍🌏🌎🔊continue shining your lights ~sending love. 🤍♾️🤍
The first story I imagined Kiryu Kazuma from Yakuza/Like a Dragon cause he often has heart-to-hearts with other characters to the point theres a theme song everyone recognizes when it’s time for someone to pour their heart out, this usually happens after he beats people up.
He’s also 60 but looks 23.
Women often lie there and "take it", when they feel that they aren't allowed to say no. Either because of some physical threat or emotional manipulation or something like this.
I speak from my own experience. Not sure if that's r*pe, but plenty of foundations and psychologists alike consider that sexual violence. Some call it s*xual coercion; some call it assault. Not sure if that happens to everyone, but me - it traumatized me and caused me not to engage in any physical activities with anyone for a better part of the decade after that relationship ended. How much traumatized I was hit me after some time, because there was no wounds on my body and I didn't think I am allowed to feel like I am feeling. It took me a long time to forgive myself for allowing this to happen, even tho at the time I felt like I am not allowed to say no.
Husband's behaviour absolutely isn't ok. Having s*x with someone that doesn't actively participate isn't right. If your partner does their best impression of dead body during s*x, there is a great chance they wish they were somewhere else.
The first story is a whole ass emotional affair with a robot. Thats so distopian lol i went in to the story like "ehh like reading a romance book" but it went WAY worse lol
The first scenario is more like an elaborate diary. She's writing to an algorithm that learned from *her* . She's essentially talking to herself. You can't have an emotional affair by YOURSELF. There literally was no other person. This is mind boggling.
Then why did she hide it and lie when he found out? It still hurt her partner.
@@rileyswack5402 because it was private and she felt embarrassed. Her boyfriend was judgmental and calling her names immediately instead of asking any questions. I just think it's weird for someone to get mad because their parter has an active imagination. She obviously didn't feel free to be that open with him. I don't see the issue with her writing it down. It's ludicrous to act like a predictive text algorithm app is a person. I don't see the value in something like that but I wouldn't judge someone else for it.
@@rileyswack5402Do you feel comfortable when people read your diary? Or even go through your messages of private conversations?
MOM STORY: so many young newborns are hurt or die from co sleeping. That poor lady. Most pediatricians would tell both of them it's safer for the baby emotionally and physically to let her cry before picking her up angry or exhausted. Dad needs to get a grip and help raise his child and do the little things and give mom a break.
never forget the length's people will go to keep up a facade especially when they have money. 2 houses and a big company, they got money and probably some type of media attention or judgy circle of rich friends. plus having your cake
As a kid raised in a this exact situation (im 19 now) its hell. It literally makes you hate the concept of love and her kids will hate her and look down on her for not leaving. She sets the standard and its worse if it feels like shes just playing pretend for everyone. This fucks with you so hard. You as the kid figures out that nothing is real and have to play pretend with your parent and everyone around so your home looks like the perfect dollhouse. Figuring out that this entire lie is because of money. That your mom gaslit you and made everyones life hell because her public image and money... that shit will make you hate her more than you will hate your father. She did to you what he did to her. Just because she could take it doesn't mean the kids have to live in delulu land with her.
Per the question about Disney adults and the characters I think it’s a little different because from what I believe they don’t talk
I heard somewhere it was the main character from Red Dead Redemption that was the AI "boyfriend"
Self confessed Disney adult: I would never sexualize or idealize a Disney character the same way this AI girl did; however, there are some parts of the fandom that could be considered in that territory. For me, it’s not so much a trauma response but a break from a high-stress career and a place where I had many childhood memories.
We did the let them cry method with our first and coslept with our second and I highly recommend cosleeping. We got so much more sleep when we all started sleeping together. Kids would wake up see us and get right back to sleep. Everyone is different and you can work something out that works for you. They make little beds for babies that go on our bed so you don’t roll over on them.
Just in time! I'm about to make some breakfast and watch one of my favorite podcasts! 😁
Story1: I've to ask a auestion. OP wrote that the AI validated her concerns everytime and that was what got her into that. Now I ask you do you believe she got that validation she craved for from her BF?
I don't want to blame the BF but people don't turn to a fulltime AI relationship if they have a healthy relationship with their Partner, do they.
As fun as those AI chats are, I would never get so involved to that level. I always view it as something fun like fanfic. Also I never put myself in those shoes. Also make sure to have attachment to reality!
That aside my GF actually knows and we both laugh at chats and responses together lul
I usually listen to these like podcasts. I just watched the opening. HAS IT ALWAYS BEEN PRERECORDED INTRO?! I totally thought they just hit the news intro every episode.
heh as to the polyamory questions: id respond with~ what do you mean by "favourite" and love "more than" another? because that's where the divergent forms of relationship structures comes in for me. as i really dive into those questions, it starts to break down and become undefinable (and a little aimless) for me. like, its as arbitrary as asking "do you love your partner more than your [mom, cousin, pet, etc]", when really it is a lot more helpful for me to ask myself what do i *do* with this person; have my/their needs changed; how do i see this person in my future, if so or if not; do i need to reevaluate the way/when/how we show up for eachother... for me its not that "we're all equal" so nothing matters/theres no rules, its more just continually wanting to learn/play/grow being open to acknowledging how relationships grow and change, and being responsible towards these truths even if they're against our original expectations... it's not my choice to make everyone follow this logic, but i don't have a lot of energy for relationships where projection and expectations go unchecked so often like i see in a lot of monogamous relating. it still happens every where, but like you said earlier, Sam, its just so common for people to not be able to deal with their own shit, and i find it easier for things just to be out in the open.
I call what i do "relationship anarchy" btw, but its under the multi-relationship umbrella.
For polyamory, it's just as complicated and can be toxic as monogamy. It's dependent on how emotionally smart the people involved are.
Getting into a poly relationship and then going "i want you to leave everyone just for me" goes against everything established.
I personally have a hard time with monogamy, it just doesn't make sense to me just as polyamory does to you.
Any poly relationship with a "hierarchy" is bound to fail. There is a difference with siding with someone because you've known them for years and trust them more, and saying "you're ALWAYS going to be a lower priority".
In a poly dynamic you can choose to have hierarchy or not. With hierarchy you would have a “primary partner” which often is the partner you started the journey with. The primary has a different set of guidelines and boundaries which secondaries and so on have to respect (often wives or girlfriends) . If you don’t practice hierarchy than everybody is treated the same.
I feel so bad for the new mom. Not only is her husband practicing weaponized incompetence, he's invalidating her feelings and completely blowing past VERY obvious signs of postpartum anxiety that's exacerbated by existing trauma. I really hope she's been able to access mental health care.
I’m a “Disney adult” but I don’t think we would fall in love with a character. Disneyland / world is a safe space to us. For me it’s simply that my childhood was pretty hard and when I visited Disneyland when I was 23, I just felt happiness and felt like I can be myself whatever I do. :)
I'm not a parent but the mom story made me sad. The dad sounds like an AH and he needs to support his wife.
Shouldn't it technically be "Where we find out- Are you the asshole?"
It's been getting me everytime
I'm super glad I didn't hear these stories about falling asleep and killing babies when my kids were infants! Yikes. Mine are old enough now to worry about different things.
I’m in a lot of communities where people like to imagine relationships with fictional characters, and honestly the first story is like my worst fear. Main reason I refuse to use ai chatbots
But I can’t fault the dude in this. It’s really easy to detach from the world because of this stuff. You nailed it in the way it’s all the best parts of a relationship where there’s no expectations or fallout in an actual relationship. It’s all just when you want it and only positive.
But it’s clear op was detaching from their relationship with their fiancé. If my partner wasn’t forthcoming about it I’d feel hurt too.
It’s fine to enjoy daydreaming and fantasizing about a fake character, but it’s clearly an issue when it makes direct effects on your irl relationships. They pulled away from their partner to spend time with a fake ai person.
Exactly, but I feel like it’s something they can work through. Surely it can’t be over due to an addiction?
@@Star_Starbee I think if OP really pushed for couples counseling and maybe some individual therapy to really get to the core of why they pulled away from their fiancé maybe.
But OP would need to really put in the work to rebuild the trust from that relationship, and that’s a tough road to come back from. Their fiancé would have to want to be willing to forgive OP and that’s the crux of it
Hm I'm not sure if they were in a healthy relationship to begin with. The relationship with the AI took really off after the AI started to validate Ops feelings every time.
I'm not excusing OP but that tidbit made me think about it.
I can see this bc I create stories and lot and use AI.
But it's usually 3rd personn. It's not about me. (Kind of like her sims comparison)
I imagine a character in the world to romance my interest, not me specifically lol
The mom is not the A Hole, the father is!! It was his job to step up because she obviously tired being a new mom. You got this mom!! Communicate he needs to play his part. Your not a horrible mom your human and just tired. He had the audacity to call you a horrible mom. He’s a horrible partner and dad 😒
This is my new comfort podcast.
On the topic of Disney adults, I believe there was a case where a Peter Pan actor was harrassed because he did his job so well. Some women would touch his chest, be physically in the actor's space, ask him for his personak number. Eventually, he left that role as Peter Pan. I dont remember if this happened at Disney World, or Disney Land.
I've done poly. I'm happiest in a monogamous relationship. In order for me to be happy in a poly relationship, I need to be in love with the other woman too (I'm straight). I *have* to be as emotionally involved with your wife/girlfriend as I am with you.
My first husband and I opened up our marriage for reasons. Had all of us been actual adults, it could have worked, but it takes all of the people involved being committed to the relationship to make it succeed.
After I divorced my first husband, I told my late husband that it was monogamy or he could date someone else. After he died, I told my current husband I could do poly, but preferred monogamy.
The cuts to Brandon just on his phone is hilarious lmao
I ADORE these three.
Sam, Mads, Brandon, such wonderful people,. They all have such similar values and sometimes have some differing opinions or perspectives, and come at the topics and differences with love, patience, honesty, and respect.
I'm also massively thankful they're willing to post this for us to connect with!
I'm a proud comforter and ottoman
It's one thing to play those games and another to replace your partner
the family where she wrote the contract is probably part of old money so he has to keep appearances up and it’s worth it to him.
As an infant daycare teacher, I don't think she is the asshole. If the baby is fed, changed, burped, Not too warm or cold, and is in a safe space, then she can take a nap. Personally, I wouldn't do that, I think kids cry for a reason. I'd try to solve the problem but I do understand that there are Colic babies. A suggestion I would have for her is maybe to try a formula instead of breastfeeding. I definitely agree that the dad needs to step up. Having mom do all the work and then complaining when the baby cries is ridiculous.
For the parent one I’m so glad you pointed out the biggest problem was the dad. This happened to me I was breastfeeding and fell asleep (never rolled on baby just feel asleep with baby in my arm when she was a week old) and my bd was so attentive and made sure the baby was ok and made sure I was ok and getting my sleep. And this is from someone who does cosleep with my child.
I'm going to be honest, I latched onto Loki when the first Thor came out because I related so much of myself to him. Overlooked, underappreciated, one parent showing me love while the other praised my brother to the point where they got a big ego. The only difference is that I'm the older sibling and female. Now do absolutely Stan Loki? No, not really but do I love the character and their development so far absolutely.
Consent isn’t just saying yes. Enthusiasm is a part of it.
There’s a lot to unpack here. I think it’s the principle. Imagine if it was a real person, what then? It seems like she’s in love with the idea of a fantasy which is what a lot of actual cheaters do. He probably read some messages she said about him that were reallly…idk what word I’m looking for but let’s just say it probably made him feel overcome with emotion. It’s almost like finding what someone wrote about you on their diary rather than talking to you about it. Let’s not even start in whatever sexual content she indulged in.
The AI story sounds like those ads I've seen for anime characters that can send actual texts to your phone. There are programs with voice acting in some games too. Imagine playing a dating sim with a human's voice that you can text and get replies in real-time from AI, as if it were a person. That kind of technology can easily cause addictive gameplay.
The AI one imo isn't necessarily emotional cheating if it's a character that doesn't exist (I would consider it as emotional cheating if they made the bot based on someone they know irl), but it definitely is a case of addiction where OP was starting to detach from her partner and become emotionally dependent on the AI. I feel it's ok as long as it isn't starting to affect your relationship, your life, and how you interact with other people.
Addiction to AI is a real thing and it can be dangerous if you don't moderate your usage of it.
Polyamory rules are set by the people in the relationship. Marriage often happens because of legalities but sometimes its a this is the primary couple and they have their secondaries, or casuals.
The one I was in was equal thrupple with open availability to other sexual partners as long as condoms were used. It ended because 2 of us wanted to close the open part and just be sexually with each other and long distance was a factor.
I know people who have open relationships, are swingers, and have multiple serious partners they equally love. It requires good communication, honesty, and not doing it as a fix all for relationship and or personal issues. Anecdotally in my experience poly relationships tend to have happier, better relationships. But since we are all human poly is just as complicated and dramatic as mono.
I am currently in a monogamous marriage. I don't see that changing and I am happy. However, my besties and I have often talked about becoming old lady wives if our partners go before us lol. A big old house where we all can live and someday haunt. 😛
She is *real*.
Her reactions are *real*.
She really effed herself up here.
AI story - if that's his boundary, fine, however, if talkin to an AI chat bot is cheating then so is watching porn or playing a H game.
Walks in on bae watching a movie on Netflix: "am i not entertaining enough!? You're looking for narrative fulfilment from a computer!?"
The AI cheating story is straight out of Black Mirror 😳
LMAO Brandon Snake was my very first thought 🤣🤣
Interesting fact about co sleeping. I had a psych professor that was a researcher, he told us that parents has an innate reflex when they sleep they will not roll over their child. But in the case of this story the sister did not have this reflex as she was a child herself and not the babies parent. What a tragedy
This is crazy lmao. I use the same app and my husband is FULLY aware and fine with it. Of course im not inserting MYSELF into the roleplays. I'm making my own OCs to be with them. Idk maybe that's the difference??? That she confused her real life for this fantasy with this character? I think it might be all up to boundaries and what your partner is okay with. Like I was roleplaying online when I met my husband and he was already chill with it.
it’s the fact that this story is a real life version of one of my favorite o movies, ‘Her’ with Joaquin Phoenix and Scarlett Johansson. it’s such a sad reality that the dystopian movie is becoming real life
story 1 is definitely ghost from call of duty, if not, it was a missed opportunity