The hair one is stupid. So they want her to do what they tell black women to do. That's stupid. That's her hair. Are people not aware that people from different ethnicities have different textures. She doesn't want to change her hair, that's her choice. She needs new friends, clearly they've talked about this without her before.
and straightening her hair every day for the rest of her life would damage it. white people can have curly hair, that isnt cultural. what is cultural is how they may style their hair, if op put in box braids then there'd be a problem
The second story screams “I have not fully processed this.” She accused him of being jealous of her dead husband. Jealous of WHAT exactly? I want to hear her answer.
Black ppl tip TOO MUCH as a cashier in a predominantly non black part of atl only black ppl were tipping $5+ on coffee on average while other races would tip 1-2 even 8¢.
The server story hit a nerve for me! I’ve been working in restaurants for 16 years now. The stereotype around black/brown customers not tipping is extremely sad. I am so tired of seeing people targeted for just wanting to live life.
When she said a picture I was thinking on a memory table. Like I had pictures of my grandparents and aunts uncles who passed on both sides but other than that……no. Holding the pic in our wedding photos? Insane lol
the waitress story is crazy to me, as someone who used to be a waitress for 3+ years it’s always given me second hand embarrassment when some demands or pushes for a tip. A tip is to show gratuity for the service from start to finish, if you’re gonna be rude from the start then be all nice at the end when it’s pay time don’t expect a tip 😭‼️ there’s a difference from having a rough start with a table to being straight rude/mean. the ending was so satisfying to me op is helping the waitress “build character” also i’ve never heard that stereotype 😭 Get that waitress out of there ✊😩
29:47 I beg that waitress’s finest pardon… I worked in the service industry for many years. You definitely notice some trends. But I never once noticed black people tipping less?? In my experience that just wasn’t the case. Secondly, there were repeat customers who I actually knew did not tip. And I would *volunteer* to take them. Because they were extremely loyal customers who might not have been able to tip me, but they sent everyone they knew my way. That IS a tip! And beyond that they were some of the kindest clients I ever had! And lastly! What the junk she asked about her tip??? Ma’am not only were you racist and rude, (which automatically means you shouldn’t get a cent, and should have been sent home,) you also broke every customer service protocol with that arrogance. Yuuuccckkkk! Phew okay I’m fine I’m calm😮💨🤣 insert gif of Hercules’ Hades here… 😅
Story 1: I get what Brandon was saying. The reaction and consequences/fall out/fear began and ended in that moment. Whereas with the example it extends, potentially forever beyond the moment, because the internet is forever etc, because that lady brought the internet in from the beginning of her...clapback? Story 2: Hope bride isn't from a culture that has ghost marriages. Would also be different if bride and groom were both close friends of the deceased guy but that's ALOT of including of the picture. Story 3: As a chronically late person, 30 minutes ahead of reservation seemed very early. Is it standard procedure to seat parties whenever they get there (assuming the place isn't packed and they wouldn't be bumping an existing reservation) or do hosts have the early party wait closer to their reservation time? just curious
A Cornell University study found that Black diners tip about 13% of the bill on average, while white diners tip about 16.5%. So the “stereotype” is based on an old statistic. I have worked I. The service industry for years and always tipped 25% even when blackout drunk. I have been told by a waitress that I don’t tip well because I’m black but then had to do the math with her that 25% is good and seeing as how I was the only black person at a table of 9 people were she only got 15% from the other. 🙄
As a social scientist, myself, people do not give a damn about hygiene or public health, so this concern from these park goers is comical. I have noticed that the men in this group were empathize with an ant, a bowl of garlic breadcrumbs before they actually show any empathy towards women. Entitlement is disgusting, and I don’t give a damn what the excuses are even if you can’t afford something… There’s never an excuse to steal from someone else, and then feel entitled to it.. this is probably the last show I watch because literally all the men do is so empathy to every adamant objects outside of women. The very least that could’ve been showed to OP was Damn. This really sucks that people just feel entitled to your things.
The tip one I agree I wouldn’t have given her a tip either I actually love she called her out. Playing devils advocate depending on the age of the boyfriend’s mom it could be a way she was raised. Like my grandma generation and even some of my older female relatives were raised to pretty much never make waves, so not just giving a tip would be out of the question. Standing up for yourself is out of the question. It it right no and I wouldn’t have never even continued my meal we would have found somewhere else to eat! My step mom has the tightest curls and it is so thick. It doesn’t even straighten. These two stories show the division in our world right now where one girl is cheered on for standing up for herself yet the other is told to sit down both over things that they were born with.
I never understood splitting the bill evenly instead of just paying what you owe, but it makes even less sense to split it 3 ways if 2 of the 3 is a couple?? All the guy had to say was, actually, seperate check. HE decided to pay for the couple. Sounds like he's uoset cause he's a doormat.
I think people are too sensible about cultural appropriation. Humans developed by learning from other cultures, adding parts of it to their own, mixing it up, etc. for thousands of years and suddenly people gate keeps something like hair styles? That's stupid and very dividing. I obviously agree that it'sb really messed up when people get judged by their natural hair and even more so, when this judgement correlates only with certain skin colors. I never heard of this in my country. There are jobs in which you can't have your hair open for hygienic reasons, but no one cares if you put it in pony tail or braid it
lol the hair one was silly and expecting someone to respond in a PC way is nuts. Why are these podcasts so “PC” with their responses because what!?! That’s the way she WAS born
Dead husband's picture has zero place at that wedding. ZERO. At a minimum, maybe a hidden pic in a locket like Madi suggested. Even then, I'm questioning why that's so important to her. He needs to walk away from this relationship. She is not ready to move on and be happy in a new relationship. Therapy is very much needed.
for the question on the last story and culture of split vs. separate checks: I live in central Europe and the standard question from the waiter/waitress at the end is pretty much always: " you paying separately or only one check?", where one person invites everyone or you pay for your own stuff. I never even knew equally split was a thing until I saw some discussions on hat online. Can still be totally different in other neighbouring countries here, but that's my experience
I think around the hair conversation, personally I do find it offensive when non-black people wear traditionally black hairstyles (specifically ones we have historically- and currently- been marginalized for wearing), not even addressing the fact that it looks ugly as hell on them 💀 but I do think the situation of this white girl having a naturally curly texture does not fit into the definition of cultural appropriation… is it ironic? Sure. I do think the friend group being younger has something to do with their perspective though, I hope they can think a little more critically… Also applause for Joe emphasizing the cultural significance of hair in the black community- I think it’s an especially sensitive topic for black womens and fems as women are socialized to care about hair as it pertains to beauty and acceptance
It looks ugly and stinks!! I've known so many black people with dreads and cornrows, and their hair NEVER smells bad. Yet I've never met another white person who has those styles and doesn't stink. It smells like their hair is rotting or something. Or like what you pull out of the shower drain. Which is honestly karma imo.
I also don't think the check splitting friend has room to be upset, the guy could've very easily decided im actually not that hungry, or don't have a ton to spend, but I'll drink and enjoy y'alls company, and then what? Is he still the asshole?
has that server ever considered she gets bad tips from poc because she gives them poor service 💀💀 even if that was true for her restaurant, she shouldnt treat anyone poorly for something they MAY do. and if a regular doesnt tip, you still shouldnt treat them poorly or ask about the tip as those are both unprofessional
I wish the second person would've explained the fiancé's reasoning + where she may be at in the grieving process . Seems like canceling the wedding is a little insensitive but maybe seeking therapy . Because wouldn't he know how she feels before asking to marry her
I really appreciated Joe’s commentary, because so many people say “it’s just hair”, but it’s so much more than that culturally and historically when it comes to Black hair.
The Wedding Call-Off- the only compromise I see is a picture on a table dedicated to those guests/family that passed. The Waitress/Tipping- The only issue I have with the OP is her not asking the manager for a different server after she heard the comments made. Why continue with her after she’s already shown and told you how she feels about you?
The hair part is so weird.. I agree with hyper fixated for a lot of people with hair.. I love my weird hair.. some is curly, some is wavy and some is straight. My daughter has the same issue.. back is nothing but curls.. her top is wavy the front it absolutely STRAIGHT as a board and won't part. So yeah.. when people see my hair they are like... ????? My dad's hair was an absolute blast to learn how to do box braids on him because his hair was so naturally freaking curly!!!! Then also learned to braid differently as well on him too . I have 3 kids with his hair type too. Now we all just miss him because my boys won't let me work on their hair. 😂😂😂😂
36:52thisbgave me the ick no shade but while there are times we can be more “intelligent” with our responses I hate the fact that we act like ppl, especially women, should not just consider what they say but intellectualize their statements its weird to me. If that is her natural hair they are wrong, weird and insecure and they constructed that conversation to extend self hate onto her.
I am french and here we can split the bill equally, or have everyone pay for what they ordered, with my friends, generally one of us pays for everyone's drinks plus their meal and we tend to rotate who comps the drinks I had never considered that in other countries it might be an issue when paying the bill... (We do not tip, so maybe it is easier given we don't have to do the maths for tipping ?)
it’s interesting that the husband in story two was so caught off guard by the wife wanting photos of the dead husband there. if she doesn’t speak of the dead husband or have his things and photos everywhere she’s really been holding that in and is really really not over it
28:23 I don't understand people who see race and think something about them. The color of a persons skin doesn't mean they're a good tipper or bad tipper. The outside doesn't mean anything. I have family members i wouldn't go to a restaurant with because they think leaving two dollars is a proper tip regardless of how many people are at the table or what they order. I mean that's been years ago, so maybe they've wised up.
shes a karen i got bad vibes. like the whole victim thing. girl. i think the hair one shes leaving out a lot of detail. do they feel like shes appropriating because of her hair is she like cosplaying a black women? does she speak like one? only date black men? like if shes saying her hair just grows like this it shouldnt have changed your identity in any way. i think we are missing things.
The hair one is stupid. So they want her to do what they tell black women to do. That's stupid. That's her hair. Are people not aware that people from different ethnicities have different textures. She doesn't want to change her hair, that's her choice. She needs new friends, clearly they've talked about this without her before.
and straightening her hair every day for the rest of her life would damage it. white people can have curly hair, that isnt cultural. what is cultural is how they may style their hair, if op put in box braids then there'd be a problem
The second story screams “I have not fully processed this.” She accused him of being jealous of her dead husband. Jealous of WHAT exactly? I want to hear her answer.
Black ppl tip TOO MUCH as a cashier in a predominantly non black part of atl only black ppl were tipping $5+ on coffee on average while other races would tip 1-2 even 8¢.
The server story hit a nerve for me! I’ve been working in restaurants for 16 years now. The stereotype around black/brown customers not tipping is extremely sad. I am so tired of seeing people targeted for just wanting to live life.
Right and its a self fulfilling prophecy most of the time the attitude shows.
For the mom in the tipping story: other people's lack of character, ignorance and arrogance is not my bill to pay.
Time to avoid everything I need to get done today
Me rn
When she said a picture I was thinking on a memory table. Like I had pictures of my grandparents and aunts uncles who passed on both sides but other than that……no. Holding the pic in our wedding photos? Insane lol
Second story, having a picture of your previous husband (dead or not) at your wedding to a new man is very disrespectful to him and his family!
I agree!!!
You guys are my favorite Reddit AITAH readers (?). I also love all the rotating guest hosts. You all have a cool vibe and great perspectives.
It’s the way I just checked the channel a few mins ago to see if yall uploaded
the waitress story is crazy to me, as someone who used to be a waitress for 3+ years it’s always given me second hand embarrassment when some demands or pushes for a tip. A tip is to show gratuity for the service from start to finish, if you’re gonna be rude from the start then be all nice at the end when it’s pay time don’t expect a tip 😭‼️ there’s a difference from having a rough start with a table to being straight rude/mean. the ending was so satisfying to me op is helping the waitress “build character” also i’ve never heard that stereotype 😭 Get that waitress out of there ✊😩
The serotonin entering my synapses after yall upload is 10/10, so excited lmao
29:47 I beg that waitress’s finest pardon… I worked in the service industry for many years. You definitely notice some trends. But I never once noticed black people tipping less?? In my experience that just wasn’t the case. Secondly, there were repeat customers who I actually knew did not tip. And I would *volunteer* to take them. Because they were extremely loyal customers who might not have been able to tip me, but they sent everyone they knew my way. That IS a tip! And beyond that they were some of the kindest clients I ever had!
And lastly! What the junk she asked about her tip??? Ma’am not only were you racist and rude, (which automatically means you shouldn’t get a cent, and should have been sent home,) you also broke every customer service protocol with that arrogance. Yuuuccckkkk! Phew okay I’m fine I’m calm😮💨🤣 insert gif of Hercules’ Hades here… 😅
Story 1: I get what Brandon was saying. The reaction and consequences/fall out/fear began and ended in that moment. Whereas with the example it extends, potentially forever beyond the moment, because the internet is forever etc, because that lady brought the internet in from the beginning of her...clapback?
Story 2: Hope bride isn't from a culture that has ghost marriages. Would also be different if bride and groom were both close friends of the deceased guy but that's ALOT of including of the picture.
Story 3: As a chronically late person, 30 minutes ahead of reservation seemed very early. Is it standard procedure to seat parties whenever they get there (assuming the place isn't packed and they wouldn't be bumping an existing reservation) or do hosts have the early party wait closer to their reservation time? just curious
A Cornell University study found that Black diners tip about 13% of the bill on average, while white diners tip about 16.5%.
So the “stereotype” is based on an old statistic.
I have worked I. The service industry for years and always tipped 25% even when blackout drunk. I have been told by a waitress that I don’t tip well because I’m black but then had to do the math with her that 25% is good and seeing as how I was the only black person at a table of 9 people were she only got 15% from the other. 🙄
As a social scientist, myself, people do not give a damn about hygiene or public health, so this concern from these park goers is comical.
I have noticed that the men in this group were empathize with an ant, a bowl of garlic breadcrumbs before they actually show any empathy towards women. Entitlement is disgusting, and I don’t give a damn what the excuses are even if you can’t afford something… There’s never an excuse to steal from someone else, and then feel entitled to it.. this is probably the last show I watch because literally all the men do is so empathy to every adamant objects outside of women. The very least that could’ve been showed to OP was Damn. This really sucks that people just feel entitled to your things.
The tip one I agree I wouldn’t have given her a tip either I actually love she called her out. Playing devils advocate depending on the age of the boyfriend’s mom it could be a way she was raised. Like my grandma generation and even some of my older female relatives were raised to pretty much never make waves, so not just giving a tip would be out of the question. Standing up for yourself is out of the question. It it right no and I wouldn’t have never even continued my meal we would have found somewhere else to eat!
My step mom has the tightest curls and it is so thick. It doesn’t even straighten.
These two stories show the division in our world right now where one girl is cheered on for standing up for herself yet the other is told to sit down both over things that they were born with.
I never understood splitting the bill evenly instead of just paying what you owe, but it makes even less sense to split it 3 ways if 2 of the 3 is a couple?? All the guy had to say was, actually, seperate check. HE decided to pay for the couple. Sounds like he's uoset cause he's a doormat.
I love this account. These people are amazing
I think people are too sensible about cultural appropriation. Humans developed by learning from other cultures, adding parts of it to their own, mixing it up, etc. for thousands of years and suddenly people gate keeps something like hair styles? That's stupid and very dividing.
I obviously agree that it'sb really messed up when people get judged by their natural hair and even more so, when this judgement correlates only with certain skin colors. I never heard of this in my country. There are jobs in which you can't have your hair open for hygienic reasons, but no one cares if you put it in pony tail or braid it
lol the hair one was silly and expecting someone to respond in a PC way is nuts. Why are these podcasts so “PC” with their responses because what!?! That’s the way she WAS born
Dead husband's picture has zero place at that wedding. ZERO. At a minimum, maybe a hidden pic in a locket like Madi suggested. Even then, I'm questioning why that's so important to her. He needs to walk away from this relationship. She is not ready to move on and be happy in a new relationship. Therapy is very much needed.
Love the outro ❤
for the question on the last story and culture of split vs. separate checks: I live in central Europe and the standard question from the waiter/waitress at the end is pretty much always: " you paying separately or only one check?", where one person invites everyone or you pay for your own stuff. I never even knew equally split was a thing until I saw some discussions on hat online. Can still be totally different in other neighbouring countries here, but that's my experience
I think around the hair conversation, personally I do find it offensive when non-black people wear traditionally black hairstyles (specifically ones we have historically- and currently- been marginalized for wearing), not even addressing the fact that it looks ugly as hell on them 💀 but I do think the situation of this white girl having a naturally curly texture does not fit into the definition of cultural appropriation… is it ironic? Sure. I do think the friend group being younger has something to do with their perspective though, I hope they can think a little more critically…
Also applause for Joe emphasizing the cultural significance of hair in the black community- I think it’s an especially sensitive topic for black womens and fems as women are socialized to care about hair as it pertains to beauty and acceptance
It looks ugly and stinks!! I've known so many black people with dreads and cornrows, and their hair NEVER smells bad. Yet I've never met another white person who has those styles and doesn't stink. It smells like their hair is rotting or something. Or like what you pull out of the shower drain. Which is honestly karma imo.
I also don't think the check splitting friend has room to be upset, the guy could've very easily decided im actually not that hungry, or don't have a ton to spend, but I'll drink and enjoy y'alls company, and then what? Is he still the asshole?
has that server ever considered she gets bad tips from poc because she gives them poor service 💀💀 even if that was true for her restaurant, she shouldnt treat anyone poorly for something they MAY do. and if a regular doesnt tip, you still shouldnt treat them poorly or ask about the tip as those are both unprofessional
Yeah not tipping her is building character for the waitress
I wish the second person would've explained the fiancé's reasoning + where she may be at in the grieving process . Seems like canceling the wedding is a little insensitive but maybe seeking therapy . Because wouldn't he know how she feels before asking to marry her
I really appreciated Joe’s commentary, because so many people say “it’s just hair”, but it’s so much more than that culturally and historically when it comes to Black hair.
The Wedding Call-Off- the only compromise I see is a picture on a table dedicated to those guests/family that passed.
The Waitress/Tipping- The only issue I have with the OP is her not asking the manager for a different server after she heard the comments made. Why continue with her after she’s already shown and told you how she feels about you?
The hair part is so weird.. I agree with hyper fixated for a lot of people with hair.. I love my weird hair.. some is curly, some is wavy and some is straight. My daughter has the same issue.. back is nothing but curls.. her top is wavy the front it absolutely STRAIGHT as a board and won't part. So yeah.. when people see my hair they are like... ????? My dad's hair was an absolute blast to learn how to do box braids on him because his hair was so naturally freaking curly!!!! Then also learned to braid differently as well on him too . I have 3 kids with his hair type too. Now we all just miss him because my boys won't let me work on their hair. 😂😂😂😂
Joe from Utica 😂 my aunt currently leaves there who your peoples are we might be related
Got family in Vicksburg Joe ?
36:52thisbgave me the ick no shade but while there are times we can be more “intelligent” with our responses I hate the fact that we act like ppl, especially women, should not just consider what they say but intellectualize their statements its weird to me. If that is her natural hair they are wrong, weird and insecure and they constructed that conversation to extend self hate onto her.
Ik big joe got two degrees so ntm on him
Never been this early hope y’all are well !!
I am french and here we can split the bill equally, or have everyone pay for what they ordered, with my friends, generally one of us pays for everyone's drinks plus their meal and we tend to rotate who comps the drinks I had never considered that in other countries it might be an issue when paying the bill... (We do not tip, so maybe it is easier given we don't have to do the maths for tipping ?)
DID YOU SAY TUBOWARE MADDY?!?!?
it’s interesting that the husband in story two was so caught off guard by the wife wanting photos of the dead husband there. if she doesn’t speak of the dead husband or have his things and photos everywhere she’s really been holding that in and is really really not over it
She's not. She's a being a pain in the ass
28:23 I don't understand people who see race and think something about them. The color of a persons skin doesn't mean they're a good tipper or bad tipper. The outside doesn't mean anything. I have family members i wouldn't go to a restaurant with because they think leaving two dollars is a proper tip regardless of how many people are at the table or what they order. I mean that's been years ago, so maybe they've wised up.
YAAAAAASSSSSS 🎉
Am I tripping or are y'all repeating stories lately..?
The second response of the hair story sucked. Unsubscribing.
Hypeddddd
oh i’m earlyyy early
My only thought on the hair thing is maybe it’s not as nice of a fro as she think it is but it is weird
Or she’s doing the thing that people do when they get tans I’m almost as dark as you without the other side, this was weird
shes a karen i got bad vibes. like the whole victim thing. girl. i think the hair one shes leaving out a lot of detail. do they feel like shes appropriating because of her hair is she like cosplaying a black women? does she speak like one? only date black men? like if shes saying her hair just grows like this it shouldnt have changed your identity in any way. i think we are missing things.
First!