A bare minimum/breadcrumbing boyfriend gave me so much anxiety and self doubt completely lowered my self esteem. They don’t care about your well-being. He absolutely has narcissistic tendencies!
They can have an avoidant attachment. If they don't care about your well being then they need the heave ho! Never settle for anything less than you deserve. Bare minimum equals breadcrumbs. Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix IMAGO Safe People by Henry Cloud The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft
Broke up with my bare minimum boyfriend last night. He’s more worried about his friends than investing his time into our relationship. I refuse to ask him to take me to dinner, the movies, or for flowers ever again. His loss!
Don't do it, you will set yourself up for failure and loose yourself. I settled for bare minimum for 17 years of lonely while in a relationship. Time lost that you never get back . Finally found myself and my strength to leave
I too gave up 17 years of my life and I’m now in the mindset to do me and grow into my better version of myself and to continue growing more in my relationship with God good luck to you on your journey and God bless you
Also, I felt a pull to tell you this. Anything you put out there such as your goodness and love. It will come back to you tenfold. Nothing is lost in God.
Great Post!!!! " I;d RATHER MY BABY GIRL BE DISSAPOINTED THEN TRAUMATIZED" Enjoy HER OWN COMPANY INSTEAD OF SHARING IT WITH SOMEONE WHO DOES NOT DESERVE HER COMPANY""
Your right my father always showed up like you did when I was a child growing up teens and grown I always expected more than the bare minimum they would act in the beginning then slack I had zero tolerance and that's how come im in the space now and im not complaining I rather be alone happy with a lot of love to give my family and close friends then with bare minimum my words for the vulnerable if you dont do anything else pray 🙏🏿 try and grow closer to God he is the sweetest gift I know as long as you have God you are properly loved and just be consistent on how you show up for your children, yourself love yourself love you first everything you have been through In God timing things will then start to turn around for your good in sweet Jesus name Amen ❤❤❤❤
S... This was happening to me. He was doing the bare minimum. I got damn tired of he's B's do I stopped giving him all my attention. He is now texting nonstop and sending me songs I'm sure he's playing me. I'm done
@@Lavon_Professional not even I have been staying distant and don't have a desire to see him. He hasn't stopped reaching out to me and sends me songs. I'm not sure how to tell him that I'm done with him. He doesn't value or appreciate it me.
Yes! I upgrade the upgraded! That is what I do. The reciprocation must be there and the result will show. You speak PURE truth. It's the simple things😊
I'm picking up what you putin down. These types of Men/boys are the worst. And your right were expecting them to go hard and they go ALL THE WAY WET BREAD SOFT When I see that, I excuse myself and keep it pushing
@@Lavon_Professionalexactly!!! Cause I’m sick of seeing all the crying and hurt. Yet keep going from one to the next. Not listening or seeing thinking somehow it’ll be different. This is insane.
I give thanks to THE MOST HIGH for the gifts you possess to teach, educate, enlighten. TRUELY. I'm learning SO MUCH about how and why I allowed the horrific toxicity I used to call a relationship. I'm very proud to say that my healing journey began sometime back, but encountering your content has propelled me to new heights. Thank you 🙏🏼. As soon as I economically navigate myself out of this DV experience I will be signed up, so eager, and sincerely ready to take part in any CHALLENGE courses you present.
I said “when can we spend a minute” He said “stop pressuring me” I silently gasped. I said “i want someone who feels that I’m their happiness-not their pressure.. and I said..”I mean this in the kindest way possible- “we.are.done” and I fkn meant it.
Thank you. I resolve to stop giving me bare minimum. Break bad habits, start with a new habit and be consistent; talk to me as nicely as i try to talk to other people... etc. This feels good. I am going to watch it again. Thank you. ❤
I really appreciate you Derrick for telling us what to expect in real and loving relationships. Hearing the message so strongly from a brother is powerful and much needed! xx
When those BMM come into my life, I’m loving kind and respectful, and I request what they should be willing to give matching my energy efforts, etc. they bless me when they just disappear out of my life
People place TOO much emphasis on being in a relationship. In particular, Black individuals are carrying historical environmental, and emotional trauma. Please read Post traumatic Slave Syndrome by Joy DeGruy. Black people HEAL, HEAL, HEAL! which means you need time alone to develop into your best self.
I complained about everything you spoke about and he never put any effort in the relationship; he just complained i was trying to change him and said his exes didn't have a problem with his personality.
You are on point big brother concerning your daughter in pouring and demonstrating your love to her while she is young. That will speak volumes to her and when the time is right, she will know how to avoid bare minimum men. Very good!❤️
The only bare minimum I will take, at the very least, is minimum wage pay not men. I’ve learned to just keep walking and don’t turn back around to men like that.
We should have the right to warn the next woman to stay away from these men so they don't have to go through with us and the women before us and the women after us go through
I asked for my fiance to sing to me and dance with me for my birthday a couple years back. He gave the first excuse that his leg was still hurting, "you know I dont sing because it makes me miss my fav aunt ". The final one was I had a conversation with a mutual friend trying to make him feel better about that happened with his gf and used us as an example and how he can move forward/fix it. He said he didn't do what I asked for my birthday because I was spreading our business with someone who isn't my therapist. I can't talk to anyone about him/us. Mind you that was the last adult I had yo have a conversation with besides him or therapist (got 3 kids). Still waiting on that gift 2 years later
Oh my goodness have you ever heard a relationship coach be more real and tell you go ahead and be you and deal with what you're accepting and think it's alright and you know in your heart it's not because why else are we watching these videos anyway ladies????
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A bare minimum/breadcrumbing boyfriend gave me so much anxiety and self doubt completely lowered my self esteem. They don’t care about your well-being. He absolutely has narcissistic tendencies!
Same here. He brought out the worst version of me.
U r spot on
They can have an avoidant attachment. If they don't care about your well being then they need the heave ho! Never settle for anything less than you deserve.
Bare minimum equals breadcrumbs.
Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller
Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix IMAGO
Safe People by Henry Cloud
The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft
Broke up with my bare minimum boyfriend last night. He’s more worried about his friends than investing his time into our relationship. I refuse to ask him to take me to dinner, the movies, or for flowers ever again. His loss!
This x
Same. ❤ Congratulations on loving you.
Bravo for dumping him! He hasn't got his act together.
Don't do it, you will set yourself up for failure and loose yourself. I settled for bare minimum for 17 years of lonely while in a relationship. Time lost that you never get back . Finally found myself and my strength to leave
Pretty much exact same story here!!! ❤
Ditto 11 years
Has he not bought you anything for a birthday and valentines day?
12 yrs 🤦🏽♀️
I too gave up 17 years of my life and I’m now in the mindset to do me and grow into my better version of myself and to continue growing more in my relationship with God good luck to you on your journey and God bless you
Especially since I saw him willing to move mountains for his "female friends " and I got the excuse of "too busy"
Oh girl, yes!! Especially if they’re filled with drama wrapped up in a pretty package
Pretty painful to experience 😢
@@user-ps9zm8cz1g very! But that pain is also a great motivator to LEAVE! 🔥 We are not trees, we got legs and we can walk! 🔥🎯
Forget him asap if he is trying to justify his female friends. Better fish in the sea.
Snap!
Single and alone doesn't mean lonely or unhappy, 👁🗨
I'm an near pulling my hair out dealing with this bare minimum person. I'm so angry at myself for getting so wrapped up in this poison.
IN MY 20'S 30'S YEAH, 40'S 50'S I WILL NEVER TOLERATE BARE MINIMUM!!!
Same story for me to ladies, I got tired of bare minimum behavior and divorced it in 2009. Been happy ever since I'm making the 💰 and loving me.🌹🌹
When you accept bare minimum, you are submitting to being programmed to lower the cost of what it costs to be around you.
Facts... you don't need a dependent
You will never come close to getting back what you gave to them .... And they think they are the prize !!!
Real Talk. He a B celebrity and I'm a HoodCelebrityy, Jane of all traded Boss Chic. He wants to be sweated and I get sweated
If you don't know your Worth no one else will!!💯
Best way of showing your daughter how she should be treated, is to treat her mama like a Queen!!! Thats truth!!
I'm honestly dealing with this right now and heading towards a divorce. It is really draining and toxic. And I'm done!
Block 🚫 No explanation, no asking for anything, not even once.
Well who are you give me your balls. Speaking respectively I need out of the situation. How do you get the courage.
Definitey experiencing bare minimum...never thought about this so clearly-Thank-You!!!!
ABSOLUTELY 💯💯💯💯, LADIES KNOW YOUR WORTH!!!
My brother buys his daughter a cake and roses on her bday and delivers it to her school.
Thankyou so much! This really hit home. 💯
Your brother is smart to teach his daughter how to be treated
YOU ARE SPEAKING THE TRUTH, LADIES YOU HAVE TO KNOW YOUR WORTH!!!! 👑QUEENOLOGIST APPROVED👑
Married to one ... Smdh. Valentine's Day is just another day.
Sorry to hear that. Do self love. do not let your relationship drag you down my friend.
I’m still broken and don’t think I’ll ever feel better or normal like I was before. I lost such a big part of myself and who I was
Step for step IT Like climbing a stairs of Loving yourself,listening to this TH-cam IS one step you have taken i congratulate you sisterhood
Also, I felt a pull to tell you this. Anything you put out there such as your goodness and love. It will come back to you tenfold. Nothing is lost in God.
YES! You should never have to ask for flowers ladies … don’t settle .
Great Post!!!! " I;d RATHER MY BABY GIRL BE DISSAPOINTED THEN TRAUMATIZED" Enjoy HER OWN COMPANY INSTEAD OF SHARING IT WITH SOMEONE WHO DOES NOT DESERVE HER COMPANY""
Never beg someone for their love or attention.
Your right my father always showed up like you did when I was a child growing up teens and grown I always expected more than the bare minimum they would act in the beginning then slack I had zero tolerance and that's how come im in the space now and im not complaining I rather be alone happy with a lot of love to give my family and close friends then with bare minimum my words for the vulnerable if you dont do anything else pray 🙏🏿 try and grow closer to God he is the sweetest gift I know as long as you have God you are properly loved and just be consistent on how you show up for your children, yourself love yourself love you first everything you have been through In God timing things will then start to turn around for your good in sweet Jesus name Amen ❤❤❤❤
@creolepleasurezzllchicks778 Hey, here's the link to my BEST free dating advice for women 40+ derrickjaxn.rurl.me/40andupfreeadvice2
S... This was happening to me. He was doing the bare minimum. I got damn tired of he's B's do I stopped giving him all my attention. He is now texting nonstop and sending me songs I'm sure he's playing me. I'm done
@@Lavon_Professional not even I have been staying distant and don't have a desire to see him. He hasn't stopped reaching out to me and sends me songs. I'm not sure how to tell him that I'm done with him. He doesn't value or appreciate it me.
Thanks for confirming what I was feeling!!
You are so on point and you are special I didn't get anything for Valentine's Day and wasn't happy and I am done not happy and moving on
Yes! I upgrade the upgraded! That is what I do. The reciprocation must be there and the result will show. You speak PURE truth. It's the simple things😊
Great job as a dad!
Your daughter will gauge her future love and expectations by what she learns from you! 👍
Been there too many times unfortunately lesson learned
I'm picking up what you putin down. These types of Men/boys are the worst. And your right were expecting them to go hard and they go ALL THE WAY WET BREAD SOFT When I see that, I excuse myself and keep it pushing
Check how he treats you 365 days a year and compare it to valentines day too. You’ll see the facts once you do a proper analysis.
You women need to stop choosing men off emotion and let God do it, hard truth to accept?
@@Lavon_Professionalexactly!!! Cause I’m sick of seeing all the crying and hurt. Yet keep going from one to the next. Not listening or seeing thinking somehow it’ll be different. This is insane.
I give thanks to THE MOST HIGH for the gifts you possess to teach, educate, enlighten. TRUELY. I'm learning SO MUCH about how and why I allowed the horrific toxicity I used to call a relationship. I'm very proud to say that my healing journey began sometime back, but encountering your content has propelled me to new heights. Thank you 🙏🏼. As soon as I economically navigate myself out of this DV experience I will be signed up, so eager, and sincerely ready to take part in any CHALLENGE courses you present.
You're awesome Derrick 🙌🏽 Honest and authentic 🙌🏽
Love you and your thoughts of bare minimum men. I never thought of this! Enlightening!❤
I said “when can we spend a minute” He said “stop pressuring me” I silently gasped. I said “i want someone who feels that I’m their happiness-not their pressure.. and I said..”I mean this in the kindest way possible- “we.are.done” and I fkn meant it.
Thank you. I resolve to stop giving me bare minimum. Break bad habits, start with a new habit and be consistent; talk to me as nicely as i try to talk to other people... etc. This feels good. I am going to watch it again. Thank you. ❤
Bare Minimum ❤ Limits Growth on every level.
Oh yes! He was and still is a NIGHTMARE!!
Thankyou for the confirmation of this truth!
I really appreciate you Derrick for telling us what to expect in real and loving relationships. Hearing the message so strongly from a brother is powerful and much needed! xx
Yes n yes. N thank got he's out. ..I pity his current so called girlfriend....
You’re a blessing, Derek. Thank you for this reminder of what we all know but convince ourselves to excuse.
When those BMM come into my life, I’m loving kind and respectful, and I request what they should be willing to give matching my energy efforts, etc. they bless me when they just disappear out of my life
Excellent talk. Needed this. Watching again.
People place TOO much emphasis on being in a relationship. In particular, Black individuals are carrying historical environmental, and emotional trauma. Please read Post traumatic Slave Syndrome by Joy DeGruy. Black people HEAL, HEAL, HEAL! which means you need time alone to develop into your best self.
I complained about everything you spoke about and he never put any effort in the relationship; he just complained i was trying to change him and said his exes didn't have a problem with his personality.
Then why are they exes… see more bull after more bull.
Move on quickly
THANK YOU FOR YOUR VIDEOS! YOU KEEP IT REAL ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS!
You are on point big brother concerning your daughter in pouring and demonstrating your love to her while she is young. That will speak volumes to her and when the time is right, she will know how to avoid bare minimum men. Very good!❤️
The only bare minimum I will take, at the very least, is minimum wage pay not men. I’ve learned to just keep walking and don’t turn back around to men like that.
He never sacraficed a dam thing...n hell never be there in the hard times
I totally agree, and I'm speaking from experience!
We should have the right to warn the next woman to stay away from these men so they don't have to go through with us and the women before us and the women after us go through
Just what I needed to hear 🙏🏽
You are the absolute best! Thank you
Dropping FACTS, once again!! 👏🏻
Iam going to be a much stronger woman watching your vídeos. Thank you! From Brazil
I’m late to your videos. But you speaking facts!! Thanks Derrick
That’s also something I don’t like when he says to me he wants me to lead .. 😑
Manipulation 101...the kind that lets you set up dates so they can give u that or less,,,
Ok modiles are you one of them ?
Sir,OMG SPEAK FACTS
I need this kind of wisdom....daily ✌🏾
I'm in a bare minimum relationship now ..smh
You deserve better!
Putting a word in for your baby girl 🎉🎉😊too cute and real! Keep up the good words
Yes, a Queen will protect his manhood/not cheat...loyal🎉
Amen to this I love your passion and felt as though you was telling me directly 😅
Why you soooo on point
I would love to get a copy of that book. I am struggling in my relationship
🙌🏽 FACTS
I asked for my fiance to sing to me and dance with me for my birthday a couple years back. He gave the first excuse that his leg was still hurting, "you know I dont sing because it makes me miss my fav aunt ". The final one was I had a conversation with a mutual friend trying to make him feel better about that happened with his gf and used us as an example and how he can move forward/fix it. He said he didn't do what I asked for my birthday because I was spreading our business with someone who isn't my therapist. I can't talk to anyone about him/us. Mind you that was the last adult I had yo have a conversation with besides him or therapist (got 3 kids). Still waiting on that gift 2 years later
Amen.
Yep
❤ Keep doing all that for your daughter, so she will understand how high her standards MUST be. ❤
Stay dropping 💎's
Why do you wear s much makeup?
This 🙌 💯‼️
The church day amen 🙏 🙌
Ooohh wee that would be me! I’m with one right now!
Wow! So true.
learned alot here.
Bible ...never settle
Yes several times
I was waiting till Valentine's Day and he didn't show up again not in person but in any other way. All he did was reciprocate an I love you text.
Let the church say 🙏 🙏 🙏
Amen
Yes, I did.
A Jerry Springer relationship 😮
Good channel following de about dating
I def had one
Post on point
I....use to....hell....No...More!!!! Thank you God and Jesus 🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽
Agreed!!!!
Why is your hair that color?
So true
Facts
❤ Never Too Late:)
Gotta listen later I'm in school building a beautiful life 💓🧬🧬💓🎉
What degree are you pursuing?
My Daughter just started dating someone like this!!!
It is so hard to see your kids get hurt.
Tell your daughter to leave!
Sir yes sir🫡
True
💯💯💯
Every Valentine's day I buy my son and my daughter an "unrealistic" gift... Really big bear and a cool candy..
Oh my goodness have you ever heard a relationship coach be more real and tell you go ahead and be you and deal with what you're accepting and think it's alright and you know in your heart it's not because why else are we watching these videos anyway ladies????