I haven’t worn makeup for 12 months and wore sweats and Tees the last 6 months, and last month I finally fell madly deeply in love with myself with mad approval for myself exactly as I am. Now I’m ready to go back to full glam and fabulous wardrobe but more as a character of life, rather than seeking others approval.
46 and i feel like Neo leaving the Matrix. I put myself first now, despite being raised with this illusion that i always have to work hard to be a "real man", impress others an sit up and do tricks in exchange for social validation from people i don't even care about. I finally realize i am the only one who really matters in my life, and it is really freeing.
46 and i feel like Neo leaving the Matrix. I put myself first now, despite being raised with this illusion that i always have to work hard to be a "real man", impress others an sit up and do tricks in exchange for social validation from people i don't even care about. I finally realize i am the only one who really matters in my life, and it is really freeing.
Yes, and also your perception is the only one that's dictating how you live your life. You could think you're the best or the worst and either way you'd be right because that perception would then lead to your actions.
I get this. I’m quite quiet and plain looking, but I like singing so at events I’d pull out the guitar. But then that’s all ppl knew me for and ppl would ask me to pull it out all the time and I felt like a performing seal. My passions now are farming and looking after my animals and tree planting. That’s my reality now and the animals are my friends. What I was in my youth belongs in the past and that’s ok. It’s only those I don’t try to impress that try to get to know me with kindness I let in. Very slowly. Ppl are free to form their own opinions but I’ve no time for shallow small talk.
This was actually really well said! I do want to add, if you are to expect others to accept your ugliness, you have to be willing to accept the ugliness of others too, and not be so quick to judge them!
I have gotten so much less done since I started to upkeep my appearance at all times. There's a time and place for everything. I don't need to look my best if I go to the mall, and have a bunch of work to do. In fact I feel prettier when I'm at a balance. And not let obsession with beauty get the best of me. It's also more fun that way. Thanks for the reminder!
So true! I used to only ever care about being pretty, thinking that "everything will be okay as long as i'm beautiful" and that was literally all i'd pay attention to in my life. Needless to say, every other aspect of my life would crumble into pieces and i'd get horribly depressed because my life became so shallow and empty, with no achievements other than fixating on beauty. now, i care but nowhere near as much. I don't let it rule my life and oh man!! I am able to get so much more done now :) Not only am i eating healthy amounts of food and have enough energy to think and move and experience the world, I also spend so much more time focusing on my mind/spirit/personality. It motivated me to get back into university and letting go of my control-freak over appearances has improved my grades by like 30% at least lmao... its crazy!
I feel and look ugly in the mirror when I dance (shamed when I was little) But inside of me it's the best feeling to dance. I know I would have to go through feelings of shame and fear if I wanted to dance with or in front of others.
I am doing ballet classes and sometimes i felt ugly someday a woman said that she feels stupid when she is dancing but when i look to the others classmates i think theyre so pretty. I dont care about this anymore because i love dance. Sorry for the bad english im learning, im beginner
On the other side of that fear is your authentic alignment and contentment. The price you have to pay for it is the fear of being seen in all your ugliness. But if you don't risk that then you don't allow yourself to be seen in all your beauty either!
@@kat.eleftheriouI had an old lady mentor who taught us to be proud of our bellies and bodies with belly dance meetings back when I was working graveyard and unkempt. Once you claim yourself and teach your body to love it and move it no one has the sway of perfection over you.
I did this for around 2 years. No make up, sweats, and emotionally raw. It helped me discover my real self and I liked what I found. Now I feel more beautiful than I have ever been and coincidently back to being more presentable.
This is a deeper point than many might realize. Your point of being “ugly” due to setting boundaries is a good one. What’s the alternative? Be “beautiful” by allowing people to walk over you?
After all the trauma and degradation I've faced from men my whole life, starving my body, spending too much money on clothes and makeup, I have stopped dressing for the male gaze and eating normally to satiate my brain and body and it's amazing how men resent you for not "trying" anymore.
Shine your light on the shadow aspects of yourself that you deny so you can feel whole again. This is probably the most empowering thing you can ever do in my opinion.
@@AmbersDaintyBush Let’s take popular suppressed emotions like anger or jealousy. They could be arising due to triggers that you are unconscious of. It’s ok to be angry or jealous at times. But to find out where these emotions are coming from within you is the empowerment. Shadow work is essentially building self awareness. Your outer world is a reflection of your inner world.
Ugly is not just extreme pleasure. Ugly is the realization of immortality and the realization that everything is heaven. When you realize that, it's so good, it's infinitely good. It's not just good. It's good to the infinite degree. It's so much goodness that you can't contain it. your body can't hold it. Your entire body shakes and shudders in a cosmic orgasm of bliss. It's perfection. It's total peace. It's absolute love, that's truly ugly.
i love you ❤ to embrace ugliness is to realize that existence is the ultimate beauty. the universe loves us and therefore loves itself. all of existence *exists* because the universe embraces itself as a whole. all that can be done is to love. to live. thank you for existing.
@@illiatiia If love is connection, what would be the highest love? What could be more deeply interconnected than ONE? How does reality achieve connection on a metaphysical level? By the elimination of all difference between things. As long as things are different, that difference disconnects them from each other by definition. Why do we say that a kangaroo is not a terrorist? Because a kangaroo is different than a terrorist. So, a kangaroo is disconnected from a terrorist to the degree that it is not identical to a terrorist. But as consciousness realizes that it imagines all difference, the differences which disconnect all things reconnect into a unity, like drops of water merging into a puddle. Eventually the difference between self and other reconnects as well. When this happens, you realize there is no difference between you and any other being. When this happens, you become self-less. Or, in other words, your sense of self extends to all things, becoming infinite.
I’ve noticed when I hear “people pleaser”, it really means I want certain people to like me. so I’ll do things I want them to like in order to get them to like me
It's not just that. It's to believe that you only have value if you do certain things or look a certain way or have money, etc. At least for me, it's difficult to see that I have value for who I am, not for things I have or do
@@atrotsiuk i do have to admit i am over simplifying, there is tons of nuance to the idea of a 'people pleaser' (pp). i was mainly pointing out a pp's main goal is not necessarily to make other people happy. making other people happy is a means to an end goal, which is to be validated externally. they aren't pleasing other people to make them happy, they are doing it because it may get other people to give them what they want and at the very least feeds their perception that they are selfless and do nothing wrong and the world is just cold and mean. once you realize that you are trying to make other people happy for yourself, you'll break the encumbering self image and also realize how futile it is to base your worth on making other people happy (because you can't make other people happy, especially if they choose to be miserable). in other words: a pp is actually a very selfish person, not a selfless one. they want to be seen as selfless, hence they label themselves a People Pleaser
@@gumbilicious1 if a person is doing something to others for its own interest, this is called manipulation and has nothing to do with people pleasing. A people pleaser feel worthless, that's why they try with all they strength to do things to feel accepted and included, things that generally betray themselves, that's why is so self destructive and dangerous in a long run. They erase completely they Identity and feel guilty all the time without even knowing why. What you are describing truly is selfish, but it's not what a people pleaser is. Try to read more about it or talk to therapist.
@@gumbilicious1 it's not a label that you put on yourself.... People pelasers don't recognize they are this way.... Usually you see a lot of people pleasers in toxic relationships and they don't even realize it. Or that awkward person who always try so hard but it's always let alone.
I've been working lately on not judging myself when my behavior is "ugly", instead i use self-compassion. I realized that I'm way harder on myself than anyone else and that the reason for that was i felt shame in myself if i wasn't perfect all the time. So now i just have compassion for myself and accept myself and don't judge myself when my ugly side comes out.
I’ve done a lot of this through inner child healing - with God. I have been so horrible and critical to myself my whole life with eating disorders and people pleasing and the whole works. If I’m tempted to say anything cruel to myself even under my breath I look at pictures of myself as a little girl. It’s been surprisingly powerful but there was A LOT of grief to work through in this realization. A heartbreaking beautiful process
this is why I want friends who will accept my ugliness. I noticed that my ex did not like me when I fucked up or made a mistake and only accepted me when I met their standards. I think if you’re just your authentic self as much as possible someone will see that and enjoy it. Or maybe not…just live your life ❤️
YOU HAVE BLOWN MY MIND!!!! I get exactly what you mean. Spoke to a friend today about a boundary, and when I got it started thinking I could've been more forceful or wondered how others would've handled it in a sexier way. And THAT is my ugliness in this moment - thinking like that! Holy shit. I mean just putting ugliness into the vocabulary - we try to refine EVERYTHING. And all the mindfulness is kind of that - trying to make our thinking more 'appealing'. I LOVE THIS. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
This is so true. A lot of the time we want to look or appear perfect, but in the long-term this is so hard to sustain. We need to learn to allow our authentic selves to develop, myself included!
It's never sustainable, but it's easy to convince ourselves that it is if we just do better or try harder. We then only end up hurting ourselves in the long run.
The best advice ever. For women like me this has always felt like a prison. And now that I am older I can more and more let go of the need to be perfect and looking good, I learn to accept and show my ugliness. What a peaceful and free feeling. Thnk you for spreading this incredibly important message. Your authenticity is wonderful, makes me feel immediately connected. Thank you.
I'm just one guy, but I've never thought of women not covered in products as "ugly", quite the opposite. Not that I'm supreme governor of how people look/dress or anything, just my opinion. Somebody not afraid to be themselves is infinitely more attractive to me.
pple pleasing personality, being always available to help everyone at the expense of self care. when I say no, then they get upset and say you are mean, self centered etc. makes sense.
YEEEEEEESSSSSS oh my lord. I just started my channel and decided to be “gross” and show acne (psychical) and be vulnerable and “ugly” but the thing is… I don’t feel ugly at all 😂 despite knowing that most people probably think I am. Is this freedom? 🧐 lmao
In todays society including social media we are basically taught toxic shame. We are taught that some parts of ourselves are bad, need to be hidden and are even shameful. I belive this is making us profoundly sick, and I don't even only mean mental illnesses, I'm talking also about physical illnesses, such as CFS, fybromyalgia, multiple sclerosis ect. Being taught that natural parts of yourself are bad, leads to resistance towards your natural self. Thus we live in a constant state of stress and self rejection and eventually the emotional and physical body will get sick.
I love whenever men and women like you pop up in my suggestions. It's always for a reason. Within a couple of minutes I was saying "Yes. You're speaking my language!" I resonate with this message so much. You've articulated very well too. Thanks for sharing. ❤
Thank you for your thoughts on this topic! Ugliness is set as the antithesis of worth, when in fact it only serves to show the growth and efforts of an individual. It is ugliness which comforts us, it is ugliness that teaches us. When accepted, it is what completes the perception of self worth in our minds and hearts.
I really appreciate this take. I’m a PhD candidate and during my very grueling qualifying exams defense I cried in front of several professors. I’ve been embarrassed to face them ever since, but this is such a powerful reminder to let ourselves be human and not constantly shame ourselves for failing to live up to some unrealistic ideal - whether physically, morally, intellectually, etc. - that we (and others) impose on ourselves. Our “ugly” side must be treated with compassion and love. It reminds me of the Jungian idea of shadow work.
Thanks. I've been meaning to talk about this for a while and also I needed to see and hear someone talk about it and share their perspective on this. I hate when I know people can see the bags under my eyes because of tiredness, when they can see I might look... Ugly. I don't, really, I just don't apply make up to force a mask on my face. It's been hard to let myself be like that, around others, and to let them see and feel too my rage, my frustration, my pain, my anxiety and all the beautiful shades of me. But I'm leaning into it, slowly, as you said. And I'm letting myself be more open to being and feeling crabby/ugly in front of others, because then I'll see who stays. Who's worth my time in this roller-coaster ride of a life. Thank you for this speech. ❤️
@@charmedprince you! But if you’ve tried it and it doesn’t work for you then that’s cool, it was just the closest thing to what Kat was discussing that I could think to deep dive on :)
i actually realized this at an art fair yesterday dressed very plainly, kind of cheaply, no makeup, sleep deprived and not the best nourished.. yet i felt just like how big artists feel like when they pull over nighters for their art, they get surges of creativity and motivation!
So well done putting this here, so good to name it as uglyness rather than "thr unwanted" or other words that distance it from the felt sense. Ugly is such a great direct way to hold this discourse.
So true. There are some actors that you just can't see as the character. It's like they're playing themselves. I respect actors who go all in on their craft to create art
Love that you're speaking about this! It breaks my heart the depth to which women struggle with this. The amount of qualifying and apologising for everything we say is ridiculous. I think once you get to your 30s you realise the world has some very entrenched issues and we need to be raising our children, both girls and boys very differently to what our current culture demands 🤦🏻♀️
Girl you are not ugly, you are a goddess, anyone that thinks means things is a projection of their own insecurities. Unfortunately society favor being beautiful, so to gain its advantages it's worth to make the effort. Wishing you the best on your journey 💖
Amazing!! I've recently stopped wearing makeup in every single one of my TH-cam videos thinking people want me dolled up, and I've had positive reactions and even seen channel growth! Plus, as someone who does comedy, sometimes you've gotta look ugly to be funny. Great insight!🙌
I soooo much prefer to watch regular people than ones who look and feel to me like they are trying to garner views primarily because they're so hot. I like it real.
This is an interesting framing of our authenticity. Another framing I am well acquainted with, and have been practicing for at least 10 years now, is leaning into the ugly FEELING. And that feeling is often pain, grief, or rage. Having difficult conversations with loved ones because they need to be had, NOT complying with an ask that is actually a demand, insisting on having one's own needs MET by people who generally just don't help. All of this requires being UGLY in the moment, and embracing it. It's painful, it's arduous, and at times totally devastating. But pain is a requirement for GROWTH. Scientists once did an experiment where they took the ideal growing conditions for a specific tree, and grew these trees indoors with all those conditions met... or so they thought. After several years of running the experiment, the trees would collapse under their own weight and die. As it turns out, WIND is vital in a tree's growth, and without it, it cannot be strong enough to stand under its own weight. The pain in our lives can be a tool for growth, or it can be a weapon against us and cause us suffering (which is NOT the same thing.) Pain is necessary, suffering is pain and/or discomfort that has long overstayed its usefulness.
The final act of "The substance" goes perfectly with this video. Loving, respecting yourself, being authentic, stop trying to please everybody, no matter if the rest of the world perceives you as ugly, even monstrous. Great video, thank you so much for sharing, so many of us need to hear this.
Being well rounded involves accepting all versions of yourself. Self rejection is a hidden energy drain that adds up over time; quitting that job frees up mental space in a noticeable and beneficial way.
Your words made me think of a friend I met when, for personal reasons, I was attending a rehabilitation community. He was addicted to heroin and had many issues with interpersonal relationships. He came from a wealthy family and always wore branded clothes with the logo clearly visible. He was defined by the clothes he wore, and one day he admitted that without the logos, he felt naked, poor. The therapist told him something very true, which I think connects to the concept you mention in the video: he said, "your therapy would be to wear an inexpensive tracksuit without logos for a year." The other looked at him with an almost desperate expression, as if the therapist had told him to walk around without skin. It was inconceivable for him to be seen as "ugly." And that was probably his main issue.
I love this! This is what Ive been feeling lately and its so validating to hear someone else talk about it. Ive been testing it out more in the sense of losing the ways in which Ive been masking for a long time, this being wearing less makeup, being more authentic, not hiding my feelings as much, starting to put people pleasing aside. Its freeing but its also a very scary process that takes time to get used to!
Ive also been posting whatever I want on tiktok, not really caring about the way I appear, and it honestly feels so freeing and healing. Even though its scary, it feels right, and «perfecting» doesnt feel right nor authentic anymore..
I agree when it comes to living freely. Stop following all the rules, be unique. However, I don't think we should neglect our physical appearance, that's a sign of lacking care for yourself.
Yes! I sometime take a "beauty break", on purpose and sometime on accident (when I fall into rough patches in life I try to let go). I've chopped my hair of a few times, started short locs and gained weight (not on purpose). All of the moments taught me and forced me to love or at least like my current state. And I had to be mindful of my personality whether than my appearance.
I have let myself be ugly for years. No makeup, basic clothes, hair not styled and a bit of extra belly weight. I loved it because it was what i needed during that time.
I feel like i know exactly what she means just by the title, being your most authentic self with no filter, leaves out the image that keeps the ugly spots hidden when around people.
I agree with the authentic connection part. If you can be imperfect and show it, people are more likely to want to connect with you and let their quirkiness or ugly sides out
The time I started liking my photos as memories and not as how good I looked I felt free, I loved that you talk about this topic, so interesting thank you
BEING PHYSICAL UGLY IS NOT THE REASON FOR OUR DOWN FALL, IT'S THT WE DONT CARRY POWER TO DESTROY THE ENERMY AND DEFEND OURSELVES FROM RUBBISH PEOPLE. BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE ARE SO DISORDERLY AND SICK THEY NEED TO BE BEAUTIFUL, WE DESERVE TO BE BEAUTIFUL AND YES WE LOVE TO PLS OUR OWN KIND IF WE GET THE RIGHT OPPORTUNITY BY POWER, HOW YOU CONTROL OUR MIND FEELINGS AND BEHAVIOUR HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BEING KIND LOVING CARING OR FORGIVING AND MERCYFUL.
This is so important because we all have an ugly, shadow self side to our personalities! I am currently shedding the delusion that I must look and act a certain way in order to be accepted. The delusion that I must appear beautiful and put together at all times is a pretty toxic one at that, completely dishonest way of living, and impossible to maintain for one’s entire life. If you are a true emotional creature, you gonna be ugly now and then! Hell YES bring out the ugly ❤🎉
It’s interesting in the true crime space that all these women who are stalked and killed are usually very attractive or beautiful. It’s kind of trite but true that being ugly often (not always) affords us protection from those who are hideously ugly on the inside.
I really appreciate the part where you say some of us aren't *allowed* to be ugly. it's very validating as a black woman, everyone already perceives as confrontational and aggressive
I find this very true in the physical sense. Let's say you want to improve your face. You need to allow yourself to be seen (by yourself and others) in your natural, true state. At first it can be hard, because it makes you face a reality you may not be so proud of, but over time, this is what makes you improve. For me, wearing less makeup at the risk of not always looking "put-together" but letting my skin breathe, and letting myself be seen without make-up by my facial esthetician, by my husband, and slowly, my community at large, and of course, actually learning about nutrition and how that affects my appearance and energy levels. And something amazing happens... both your outer appearance and how you see yourself start to improve, because you're not just "masking" the "ugliness", you're actually getting at the root of your dissatisfaction while also learning to love and appreciate yourself in the process.
I love you. I went through stage when I cut my hair to short, stopped wearing makeup and sexy clothes after traumatic event. It was trully healing to me, and after that came stage when I trully naturaly enjoy my feminine beauty, I like my long hair, I like to pemper myself. But I never ever feel like I have to be beautiful for everyone. I found out, and started to love myself as *human* - it may sound weird, but before I never looked at myself and other people as human lot of the times. I love your energy and even tho - in contrast of this video, I find your beauty very inspiring
IVe dived into that state multiple times and omg what you say is true I had unsheakable confidence when I try 0% this video is a true sign for me thank you
Yes, here's where shadow integrative inner work comes into play for full self actualization/realization. Embracing, accepting and allowing our darkness, part of ourselves we dislike, disdain even. The way to wholeness, not just being half human, fully human with the good the bad and the ugly.
I love this. It’s the only path to true love. And when I say true love I am talking about self love which is fundamental to love itself. It is impossible to love until you have faced your own ugliness, accept it, and decide to love yourself just as you are. This act will move mountains in your life.
Exactly I created my own affirmations for embracing human ugliness and rawness being in my healing journey, the perfection is an illusion, we have to allow our energy to be rooted in here in our body in our humanness, being in higher chakra centers in our divinity wants us to perfect ourselves, in a dreamy state of illusive perfection but that has to change and embraced if we truly want to integrate and balance our humanness and divinity🙌🏻
Wow!!! Lately, I felt so ugly, I was and still am in my ugliness period. I was ugly to my managers and coworkers when I quit my job, didn't end nicely after 18.5 years of being nice sweet, and beautiful. same with friends and family and I stopped putting on makeup each time I go out. Thank you 🙏for making me feel good about it, cause I didn't. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you ❤ If you don’t open the door or window into your soul, nobody will dwell there but yourself. I am not entirely sure that “ugliness” is the right descriptor. I think “ugly” is in the eye of the beholder. This was very nuanced and thought provoking ❤
I find this concept interesting and I want to relate it to the Catholic/Christian religion. As Catholics we believe that we are born with 'ugliness' inside of us (stained with original sin from Adam and Eve) but at the same time we are made in the image and likeness of God which IS beauty. We are able to be redeemed and saved through the ultimate act of beauty, God becoming man and sacrifing himself on the cross for us. Our baptism takes away the stain of original sin and allows us to become children of God. We practice the ultimate vulnerability- continuous penance whenever we fall short and sin, confessing the extreme ugliness of our sin to our fellow man (priest) and God during the sacrament of confession (reconciliation). One of the worst sins is pride, meaning you believe that you can't be "ugly" or let people see you as "ugly". In the garden, after they sinned, Adam and Eve hid from God because they didn't want Him to see their ugliness. Sin, which is turning away from God and indulging in our own selfish desires, is ultimately what makes a person have ugliness. Living in accordance to God & loving Him every day will afford you extreme beauty- holiness. Living the opposite of that, in accordance to the world & Satan, will make us unbelievably ugly. Our hope is to reunited with the ultimate beauty & love which is God in heaven, where ugliness is no longer possible and everything is perfect with Him, where we can love Him perfectly forever and ever. ❤
The thing is, when I was little I always let the "ugly" get out, and showed it to everyone. But the only thing i encountered was rejection and bad looks. So I stopped doing it. I was starting already to "be ugly" (even before watching your video) because I discovered is very freeing, but it seems like nowadays people dont really want to commit and bear with the ugliness of people, with their problems and lows. Its seems that many people are with you only when you are ok. When you really need help from others, they dissapear.
Often the ugliness someone else perceives in you is triggering to them because it forces them to come to terms with their own ugliness and they don't want to do that. So it really doesn't have anything to do with you at the end of the day.
I like it, I've been trying to be as ugly as possible. But I'm struggling to find the balance between my authentic unclear self and getting my message out.
I don't like the fake purity that society perpetuates. People pointing fingers that other’s behaviors are ugly acting like they don't have them. In the perspective of Jungian psychology, integrating the shadow is important.
Kat, thank you for sharing your thoughts :-) it does make sense as we tend to be perfect in all levels :-) it only stops us of continuing our journey with some joy and tranquility. Thank you for remind me of it. Much love and gratitude from a small town in Portugal.
the worst thing they made me feel when i was unflinching and resolute, STRONG was...ugly. I was more "man" than any of them - i've squared up to one that came swinging at me at just 11 years old. but "ugly" was what KILLED me. time to be absolutely butt fucking hideous now.
I think it’s more about accepting. “Ugly” is just a perception in our mind. For example some people have a grandmother, who to them is beautiful, because of their love. It’s more about self love.
"Ugly" is just a concept other people throw at you when you don't give them what they want.
ugly is everything that repulses me, like, seeing people being cruel to somebody is ugly.
You wish
@@Finn959how many likes did you get?
@@sadiemakesmesmile
maybe some likes are ugly..
I am objectively ugly😊
I haven’t worn makeup for 12 months and wore sweats and Tees the last 6 months, and last month I finally fell madly deeply in love with myself with mad approval for myself exactly as I am. Now I’m ready to go back to full glam and fabulous wardrobe but more as a character of life, rather than seeking others approval.
Love this!
Beautiful! 🎉
💖
Yep being a stay at home mom it has don’t this exact transformation for me I love how you worded all this
To be ugly is to be free ❤
i agree with this
This is one of the BEST things about getting older. You realize no one cares. It's heartbreaking in your 20s or 30s, but FREEING in your 40s.
Or you realise it was your identity and your world turns upside down once maintaining it becomes too difficult /impossible 🙃
I’m 37 and just realizing this. Thankful for my nice clear skin; mascara and sunscreen and that’s all the effort I bother with
Im ugly and i am on the way to Accept this
46 and i feel like Neo leaving the Matrix.
I put myself first now, despite being raised with this illusion that i always have to work hard to be a "real man", impress others an sit up and do tricks in exchange for social validation from people i don't even care about.
I finally realize i am the only one who really matters in my life, and it is really freeing.
People do care sadly
IM UGLY AND IM PROUD 🧽
SPONGEBOB
Is that what he calls it
AHAHAHHAHAHHA edit: I LOVE it!
"Excuse me Sir, I am very ugly. But you should enjoy the movie anyway."
If looking ugly gets me to my full potential, then I guess ive been killing it all this time...
I have “stay ugly” tattooed on my arm for this reason, but I still needed this reminder
46 and i feel like Neo leaving the Matrix.
I put myself first now, despite being raised with this illusion that i always have to work hard to be a "real man", impress others an sit up and do tricks in exchange for social validation from people i don't even care about.
I finally realize i am the only one who really matters in my life, and it is really freeing.
Yes, and also your perception is the only one that's dictating how you live your life. You could think you're the best or the worst and either way you'd be right because that perception would then lead to your actions.
I get this. I’m quite quiet and plain looking, but I like singing so at events I’d pull out the guitar. But then that’s all ppl knew me for and ppl would ask me to pull it out all the time and I felt like a performing seal. My passions now are farming and looking after my animals and tree planting. That’s my reality now and the animals are my friends. What I was in my youth belongs in the past and that’s ok. It’s only those I don’t try to impress that try to get to know me with kindness I let in. Very slowly. Ppl are free to form their own opinions but I’ve no time for shallow small talk.
This was actually really well said! I do want to add, if you are to expect others to accept your ugliness, you have to be willing to accept the ugliness of others too, and not be so quick to judge them!
Love this comment, this is a great thought imo
Yes, so true!
You're speaking of being authentic. Ugly is a personal perspective. What you find ugly someone else finds beautiful.
Yep!
I am authentically ugly😂
@@di3486 😂
Everybody looks good from a distance
nah I feel more insecure looking at myself from a distance than close up
So true, if the distance is great enough I actually look really handsome. Like a cool pixel.
💀
@@Prettiestgirlinthemorgue1436😅😅😅
Especially in low lighting
I have gotten so much less done since I started to upkeep my appearance at all times. There's a time and place for everything. I don't need to look my best if I go to the mall, and have a bunch of work to do. In fact I feel prettier when I'm at a balance. And not let obsession with beauty get the best of me. It's also more fun that way. Thanks for the reminder!
Balance is key!
The fashion/pharmaceutical industry prey on people's insecurities and want them to think they're "ugly" if they don't cake on makeup/eyeshadow etc.
So true! I used to only ever care about being pretty, thinking that "everything will be okay as long as i'm beautiful" and that was literally all i'd pay attention to in my life. Needless to say, every other aspect of my life would crumble into pieces and i'd get horribly depressed because my life became so shallow and empty, with no achievements other than fixating on beauty. now, i care but nowhere near as much. I don't let it rule my life and oh man!! I am able to get so much more done now :) Not only am i eating healthy amounts of food and have enough energy to think and move and experience the world, I also spend so much more time focusing on my mind/spirit/personality. It motivated me to get back into university and letting go of my control-freak over appearances has improved my grades by like 30% at least lmao... its crazy!
Exactly🥰🥰🥰 Balance is heaven
I feel and look ugly in the mirror when I dance (shamed when I was little)
But inside of me it's the best feeling to dance.
I know I would have to go through feelings of shame and fear if I wanted to dance with or in front of others.
I feel the same way about singing ❤
Dance, dance, dance! I love my kitchen discos and I am absolutely convinced that you look amazing!💃🏻 🕺🏻 🎉
I am doing ballet classes and sometimes i felt ugly someday a woman said that she feels stupid when she is dancing but when i look to the others classmates i think theyre so pretty. I dont care about this anymore because i love dance. Sorry for the bad english im learning, im beginner
On the other side of that fear is your authentic alignment and contentment. The price you have to pay for it is the fear of being seen in all your ugliness. But if you don't risk that then you don't allow yourself to be seen in all your beauty either!
@@kat.eleftheriouI had an old lady mentor who taught us to be proud of our bellies and bodies with belly dance meetings back when I was working graveyard and unkempt. Once you claim yourself and teach your body to love it and move it no one has the sway of perfection over you.
I did this for around 2 years. No make up, sweats, and emotionally raw. It helped me discover my real self and I liked what I found. Now I feel more beautiful than I have ever been and coincidently back to being more presentable.
This is a deeper point than many might realize. Your point of being “ugly” due to setting boundaries is a good one. What’s the alternative? Be “beautiful” by allowing people to walk over you?
Exactly! Because then you start being ugly to yourself.
After all the trauma and degradation I've faced from men my whole life, starving my body, spending too much money on clothes and makeup, I have stopped dressing for the male gaze and eating normally to satiate my brain and body and it's amazing how men resent you for not "trying" anymore.
You’re giving the respect you owe to yourself! Keep going!
People in general will resent you for not seeking their approval.
We demand masculinity and high status from men. They will date us broke if we’re pretty. It’s a trade off.
haha yes!! they do! they get mad!
Maybe it's not men who treated you that way, it's you who treated yourself that way
Shine your light on the shadow aspects of yourself that you deny so you can feel whole again. This is probably the most empowering thing you can ever do in my opinion.
Can you share an example maybe? Ie what the shadow side was and how it worked out for them /(you)
Yes example of shadow self please?
@@AmbersDaintyBush Let’s take popular suppressed emotions like anger or jealousy. They could be arising due to triggers that you are unconscious of. It’s ok to be angry or jealous at times. But to find out where these emotions are coming from within you is the empowerment. Shadow work is essentially building self awareness. Your outer world is a reflection of your inner world.
@@Steve-jw6my thank you! 🙏
Absolutely! And then when you do shine the light on them you realize they weren't as scary as you thought they were.
Ugly is not just extreme pleasure. Ugly is the realization of immortality and the realization that everything is heaven. When you realize that, it's so good, it's infinitely good. It's not just good. It's good to the infinite degree. It's so much goodness that you can't contain it. your body can't hold it. Your entire body shakes and shudders in a cosmic orgasm of bliss. It's perfection. It's total peace. It's absolute love, that's truly ugly.
i love you ❤ to embrace ugliness is to realize that existence is the ultimate beauty. the universe loves us and therefore loves itself. all of existence *exists* because the universe embraces itself as a whole. all that can be done is to love. to live. thank you for existing.
How you do that practicaly ?
This seems weird to me
Explain more, please. I've been wondering if "Ugly" was just sensitivity/intolerance to some type of comic beauty. Dunno. Maybe not.
@@illiatiia If love is connection, what would be the highest love? What could be more deeply interconnected than ONE? How does reality achieve connection on a metaphysical level? By the elimination of all difference between things. As long as things are different, that difference disconnects them from each other by definition. Why do we say that a kangaroo is not a terrorist? Because a kangaroo is different than a terrorist. So, a kangaroo is disconnected from a terrorist to the degree that it is not identical to a terrorist. But as consciousness realizes that it imagines all difference, the differences which disconnect all things reconnect into a unity, like drops of water merging into a puddle. Eventually the difference between self and other reconnects as well. When this happens, you realize there is no difference between you and any other being. When this happens, you become self-less. Or, in other words, your sense of self extends to all things, becoming infinite.
I’ve noticed when I hear “people pleaser”, it really means I want certain people to like me. so I’ll do things I want them to like in order to get them to like me
spot on.. its almost like a form of covert narcissism.
It's not just that. It's to believe that you only have value if you do certain things or look a certain way or have money, etc. At least for me, it's difficult to see that I have value for who I am, not for things I have or do
@@atrotsiuk i do have to admit i am over simplifying, there is tons of nuance to the idea of a 'people pleaser' (pp).
i was mainly pointing out a pp's main goal is not necessarily to make other people happy. making other people happy is a means to an end goal, which is to be validated externally.
they aren't pleasing other people to make them happy, they are doing it because it may get other people to give them what they want and at the very least feeds their perception that they are selfless and do nothing wrong and the world is just cold and mean.
once you realize that you are trying to make other people happy for yourself, you'll break the encumbering self image and also realize how futile it is to base your worth on making other people happy (because you can't make other people happy, especially if they choose to be miserable).
in other words: a pp is actually a very selfish person, not a selfless one. they want to be seen as selfless, hence they label themselves a People Pleaser
@@gumbilicious1 if a person is doing something to others for its own interest, this is called manipulation and has nothing to do with people pleasing. A people pleaser feel worthless, that's why they try with all they strength to do things to feel accepted and included, things that generally betray themselves, that's why is so self destructive and dangerous in a long run. They erase completely they Identity and feel guilty all the time without even knowing why.
What you are describing truly is selfish, but it's not what a people pleaser is. Try to read more about it or talk to therapist.
@@gumbilicious1 it's not a label that you put on yourself.... People pelasers don't recognize they are this way.... Usually you see a lot of people pleasers in toxic relationships and they don't even realize it. Or that awkward person who always try so hard but it's always let alone.
I've been working lately on not judging myself when my behavior is "ugly", instead i use self-compassion. I realized that I'm way harder on myself than anyone else and that the reason for that was i felt shame in myself if i wasn't perfect all the time. So now i just have compassion for myself and accept myself and don't judge myself when my ugly side comes out.
As Eminem once said, we ain't nothin' but mammals.
They were half right @@starryamity33
I’ve done a lot of this through inner child healing - with God. I have been so horrible and critical to myself my whole life with eating disorders and people pleasing and the whole works. If I’m tempted to say anything cruel to myself even under my breath I look at pictures of myself as a little girl. It’s been surprisingly powerful but there was A LOT of grief to work through in this realization. A heartbreaking beautiful process
Life is easier when I look pretty.
Preach!
Because you value comfort over the truth... but you are sadly mistaken because you are building upon sand. ⏳
In which aspects ? How so?
@@emilymiles1219people are more likely to help you out
@@emilymiles1219it’s pretty privilege - have you not heard?
the most devastating thing is i cant even imagine myself in a relationship in which someone accepts my ugliness. ty for video
Me either, but I’m ok if that’s true. Most of the time. You have to think about other things
this is why I want friends who will accept my ugliness. I noticed that my ex did not like me when I fucked up or made a mistake and only accepted me when I met their standards. I think if you’re just your authentic self as much as possible someone will see that and enjoy it. Or maybe not…just live your life ❤️
I promise you, you will, because you will also have to (and want to) accept their ugliness.
YOU HAVE BLOWN MY MIND!!!! I get exactly what you mean. Spoke to a friend today about a boundary, and when I got it started thinking I could've been more forceful or wondered how others would've handled it in a sexier way. And THAT is my ugliness in this moment - thinking like that! Holy shit. I mean just putting ugliness into the vocabulary - we try to refine EVERYTHING. And all the mindfulness is kind of that - trying to make our thinking more 'appealing'. I LOVE THIS. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
Yes, that's exactly the context of this discussion! I'm glad it resonated with you :)
This is so true. A lot of the time we want to look or appear perfect, but in the long-term this is so hard to sustain. We need to learn to allow our authentic selves to develop, myself included!
It's never sustainable, but it's easy to convince ourselves that it is if we just do better or try harder. We then only end up hurting ourselves in the long run.
The best advice ever. For women like me this has always felt like a prison. And now that I am older I can more and more let go of the need to be perfect and looking good, I learn to accept and show my ugliness. What a peaceful and free feeling. Thnk you for spreading this incredibly important message. Your authenticity is wonderful, makes me feel immediately connected. Thank you.
I'm glad this resonated with you!
I'm just one guy, but I've never thought of women not covered in products as "ugly", quite the opposite. Not that I'm supreme governor of how people look/dress or anything, just my opinion. Somebody not afraid to be themselves is infinitely more attractive to me.
pple pleasing personality, being always available to help everyone at the expense of self care. when I say no, then they get upset and say you are mean, self centered etc. makes sense.
'Ugly' is the new beautiful 😊
When you stop deriving your value from your appearance is when the magic happens.
YEEEEEEESSSSSS oh my lord. I just started my channel and decided to be “gross” and show acne (psychical) and be vulnerable and “ugly” but the thing is… I don’t feel ugly at all 😂 despite knowing that most people probably think I am. Is this freedom? 🧐 lmao
You are actually BEAUTIFUL 😍
There is nothing ugly about having acne. However bodily fluids and expelling them is and people pretend like it's not happening
Amazing! Good luck :)
this is the greatest piece of advice i have ever come across
In todays society including social media we are basically taught toxic shame. We are taught that some parts of ourselves are bad, need to be hidden and are even shameful. I belive this is making us profoundly sick, and I don't even only mean mental illnesses, I'm talking also about physical illnesses, such as CFS, fybromyalgia, multiple sclerosis ect. Being taught that natural parts of yourself are bad, leads to resistance towards your natural self. Thus we live in a constant state of stress and self rejection and eventually the emotional and physical body will get sick.
I definitely think that our negative thoughts can be just as physically damaging as they are mentally damaging!
Put another way, "No tree, it is said, can grow to heaven unless its roots reach down to hell." - Carl Jung
(Thank you for the video)
Wow 🙌
💯👏
Precisely!
I love whenever men and women like you pop up in my suggestions. It's always for a reason. Within a couple of minutes I was saying "Yes. You're speaking my language!" I resonate with this message so much. You've articulated very well too. Thanks for sharing. ❤
Thank you for your thoughts on this topic! Ugliness is set as the antithesis of worth, when in fact it only serves to show the growth and efforts of an individual. It is ugliness which comforts us, it is ugliness that teaches us. When accepted, it is what completes the perception of self worth in our minds and hearts.
Agreed!
I really appreciate this take. I’m a PhD candidate and during my very grueling qualifying exams defense I cried in front of several professors. I’ve been embarrassed to face them ever since, but this is such a powerful reminder to let ourselves be human and not constantly shame ourselves for failing to live up to some unrealistic ideal - whether physically, morally, intellectually, etc. - that we (and others) impose on ourselves. Our “ugly” side must be treated with compassion and love. It reminds me of the Jungian idea of shadow work.
Thanks. I've been meaning to talk about this for a while and also I needed to see and hear someone talk about it and share their perspective on this. I hate when I know people can see the bags under my eyes because of tiredness, when they can see I might look... Ugly. I don't, really, I just don't apply make up to force a mask on my face. It's been hard to let myself be like that, around others, and to let them see and feel too my rage, my frustration, my pain, my anxiety and all the beautiful shades of me. But I'm leaning into it, slowly, as you said. And I'm letting myself be more open to being and feeling crabby/ugly in front of others, because then I'll see who stays. Who's worth my time in this roller-coaster ride of a life. Thank you for this speech. ❤️
"All the beautiful shades of me"--I love that!
I need this to be discussed more in 6 episodes perhaps
I don't know if I have that much to say on the topic 😅
You might want to look into shadow work if you feel like this is something you are teaching for
@@hariberrowyoga are you talking to me or to Kat? Cos basically I've already gone into shadow work and now i just follow the sun 🫤
@@charmedprince you! But if you’ve tried it and it doesn’t work for you then that’s cool, it was just the closest thing to what Kat was discussing that I could think to deep dive on :)
Fr I’m going to watch this once a day- this is so refreshing
i actually realized this at an art fair yesterday dressed very plainly, kind of cheaply, no makeup, sleep deprived and not the best nourished.. yet i felt just like how big artists feel like when they pull over nighters for their art, they get surges of creativity and motivation!
So well done putting this here, so good to name it as uglyness rather than "thr unwanted" or other words that distance it from the felt sense. Ugly is such a great direct way to hold this discourse.
I think I needed this. Haven't even watched the whole thing but 2 minutes in, I already feel called out
It was as much a call out to myself 😂
I am a wickedly messy cook for myself. People trampled me in the past for taking too long or being too messy. Now I am what I call "Neat but nasty"
So true. There are some actors that you just can't see as the character. It's like they're playing themselves. I respect actors who go all in on their craft to create art
Love that you're speaking about this! It breaks my heart the depth to which women struggle with this. The amount of qualifying and apologising for everything we say is ridiculous. I think once you get to your 30s you realise the world has some very entrenched issues and we need to be raising our children, both girls and boys very differently to what our current culture demands 🤦🏻♀️
Absolutely. The more you detach your identity from your appearance (whether physical or emotional), the more liberated and secure you feel.
Yes something about ur 30s n 40s ur eyes open. That's why it's not a desirable age for predators.
@@DustiesRwelfareDiggers very true
Girl you are not ugly, you are a goddess, anyone that thinks means things is a projection of their own insecurities. Unfortunately society favor being beautiful, so to gain its advantages it's worth to make the effort. Wishing you the best on your journey 💖
Good to hear after getting a bad haircut!
Lol
Amazing!! I've recently stopped wearing makeup in every single one of my TH-cam videos thinking people want me dolled up, and I've had positive reactions and even seen channel growth! Plus, as someone who does comedy, sometimes you've gotta look ugly to be funny. Great insight!🙌
I soooo much prefer to watch regular people than ones who look and feel to me like they are trying to garner views primarily because they're so hot. I like it real.
Yes! Ugliness isn't always bad, it can be funny, it can be cute, it can be so many things.
Just be yourself, and not let any demon live in you, cast them out or let them be cast out, and let that good spirit live in you
This is an interesting framing of our authenticity. Another framing I am well acquainted with, and have been practicing for at least 10 years now, is leaning into the ugly FEELING. And that feeling is often pain, grief, or rage. Having difficult conversations with loved ones because they need to be had, NOT complying with an ask that is actually a demand, insisting on having one's own needs MET by people who generally just don't help. All of this requires being UGLY in the moment, and embracing it. It's painful, it's arduous, and at times totally devastating. But pain is a requirement for GROWTH.
Scientists once did an experiment where they took the ideal growing conditions for a specific tree, and grew these trees indoors with all those conditions met... or so they thought. After several years of running the experiment, the trees would collapse under their own weight and die. As it turns out, WIND is vital in a tree's growth, and without it, it cannot be strong enough to stand under its own weight.
The pain in our lives can be a tool for growth, or it can be a weapon against us and cause us suffering (which is NOT the same thing.) Pain is necessary, suffering is pain and/or discomfort that has long overstayed its usefulness.
The final act of "The substance" goes perfectly with this video. Loving, respecting yourself, being authentic, stop trying to please everybody, no matter if the rest of the world perceives you as ugly, even monstrous. Great video, thank you so much for sharing, so many of us need to hear this.
Being well rounded involves accepting all versions of yourself. Self rejection is a hidden energy drain that adds up over time; quitting that job frees up mental space in a noticeable and beneficial way.
Your words made me think of a friend I met when, for personal reasons, I was attending a rehabilitation community. He was addicted to heroin and had many issues with interpersonal relationships. He came from a wealthy family and always wore branded clothes with the logo clearly visible. He was defined by the clothes he wore, and one day he admitted that without the logos, he felt naked, poor. The therapist told him something very true, which I think connects to the concept you mention in the video: he said, "your therapy would be to wear an inexpensive tracksuit without logos for a year." The other looked at him with an almost desperate expression, as if the therapist had told him to walk around without skin. It was inconceivable for him to be seen as "ugly." And that was probably his main issue.
This was really wonderfully said. Thank you.
You're welcome!
also on that note, talented artists tend to own their ‘ugly’ disheveled look to allow their potential to really come out
This is deep and food for thought
I love this! This is what Ive been feeling lately and its so validating to hear someone else talk about it. Ive been testing it out more in the sense of losing the ways in which Ive been masking for a long time, this being wearing less makeup, being more authentic, not hiding my feelings as much, starting to put people pleasing aside. Its freeing but its also a very scary process that takes time to get used to!
Ive also been posting whatever I want on tiktok, not really caring about the way I appear, and it honestly feels so freeing and healing. Even though its scary, it feels right, and «perfecting» doesnt feel right nor authentic anymore..
Lowering the stakes and expectations of how you show up is so liberating and actually helps to inspire more authentic creations and relationships!
I agree when it comes to living freely. Stop following all the rules, be unique. However, I don't think we should neglect our physical appearance, that's a sign of lacking care for yourself.
Yes! I sometime take a "beauty break", on purpose and sometime on accident (when I fall into rough patches in life I try to let go). I've chopped my hair of a few times, started short locs and gained weight (not on purpose). All of the moments taught me and forced me to love or at least like my current state. And I had to be mindful of my personality whether than my appearance.
I have let myself be ugly for years. No makeup, basic clothes, hair not styled and a bit of extra belly weight. I loved it because it was what i needed during that time.
Your need to fit , to be validated .. perhaps is based on a memory in your childhood of feeling abandoned .
I feel like i know exactly what she means just by the title, being your most authentic self with no filter, leaves out the image that keeps the ugly spots hidden when around people.
I agree with the authentic connection part. If you can be imperfect and show it, people are more likely to want to connect with you and let their quirkiness or ugly sides out
I hate the way I look with facial hair and this is exactly why I haven’t shaved in like 3 months.
I love this--do exactly what it is you think you "shouldn't" be doing (based on external perceptions) to show yourself who you truly are.
The time I started liking my photos as memories and not as how good I looked I felt free, I loved that you talk about this topic, so interesting thank you
BEING PHYSICAL UGLY IS NOT THE REASON FOR OUR DOWN FALL, IT'S THT WE DONT CARRY POWER TO DESTROY THE ENERMY AND DEFEND OURSELVES FROM RUBBISH PEOPLE.
BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE ARE SO DISORDERLY AND SICK THEY NEED TO BE BEAUTIFUL, WE DESERVE TO BE BEAUTIFUL AND YES WE LOVE TO PLS OUR OWN KIND IF WE GET THE RIGHT OPPORTUNITY BY POWER, HOW YOU CONTROL OUR MIND FEELINGS AND BEHAVIOUR HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BEING KIND LOVING CARING OR FORGIVING AND MERCYFUL.
This is so important because we all have an ugly, shadow self side to our personalities! I am currently shedding the delusion that I must look and act a certain way in order to be accepted. The delusion that I must appear beautiful and put together at all times is a pretty toxic one at that, completely dishonest way of living, and impossible to maintain for one’s entire life. If you are a true emotional creature, you gonna be ugly now and then! Hell YES bring out the ugly ❤🎉
It’s interesting in the true crime space that all these women who are stalked and killed are usually very attractive or beautiful. It’s kind of trite but true that being ugly often (not always) affords us protection from those who are hideously ugly on the inside.
Wow......I can't put into words how much this video WOKE ME UP. Girl, you just slapped me in the face with the truth. New follower here.
I can’t look ugly. I’m too gorgeous. Literally.
Lol
Turns out we don’t have to be perfect all the time
I really appreciate the part where you say some of us aren't *allowed* to be ugly. it's very validating as a black woman, everyone already perceives as confrontational and aggressive
"I'm ugly and I'm proud!!"
I find this very true in the physical sense. Let's say you want to improve your face. You need to allow yourself to be seen (by yourself and others) in your natural, true state. At first it can be hard, because it makes you face a reality you may not be so proud of, but over time, this is what makes you improve. For me, wearing less makeup at the risk of not always looking "put-together" but letting my skin breathe, and letting myself be seen without make-up by my facial esthetician, by my husband, and slowly, my community at large, and of course, actually learning about nutrition and how that affects my appearance and energy levels. And something amazing happens... both your outer appearance and how you see yourself start to improve, because you're not just "masking" the "ugliness", you're actually getting at the root of your dissatisfaction while also learning to love and appreciate yourself in the process.
I love you. I went through stage when I cut my hair to short, stopped wearing makeup and sexy clothes after traumatic event. It was trully healing to me, and after that came stage when I trully naturaly enjoy my feminine beauty, I like my long hair, I like to pemper myself. But I never ever feel like I have to be beautiful for everyone. I found out, and started to love myself as *human* - it may sound weird, but before I never looked at myself and other people as human lot of the times. I love your energy and even tho - in contrast of this video, I find your beauty very inspiring
IVe dived into that state multiple times and omg what you say is true I had unsheakable confidence when I try 0% this video is a true sign for me thank you
This is exactly how I feel and I so appreciate you sharing this message online because I think a lot more people need to hear it!!!
Yes, here's where shadow integrative inner work comes into play for full self actualization/realization. Embracing, accepting and allowing our darkness, part of ourselves we dislike, disdain even. The way to wholeness, not just being half human, fully human with the good the bad and the ugly.
I love this. It’s the only path to true love. And when I say true love I am talking about self love which is fundamental to love itself. It is impossible to love until you have faced your own ugliness, accept it, and decide to love yourself just as you are. This act will move mountains in your life.
Exactly!
Exactly I created my own affirmations for embracing human ugliness and rawness being in my healing journey, the perfection is an illusion, we have to allow our energy to be rooted in here in our body in our humanness, being in higher chakra centers in our divinity wants us to perfect ourselves, in a dreamy state of illusive perfection but that has to change and embraced if we truly want to integrate and balance our humanness and divinity🙌🏻
Wow!!! Lately, I felt so ugly, I was and still am in my ugliness period. I was ugly to my managers and coworkers when I quit my job, didn't end nicely after 18.5 years of being nice sweet, and beautiful.
same with friends and family
and I stopped putting on makeup each time I go out.
Thank you 🙏for making me feel good about it, cause I didn't.
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you ❤ If you don’t open the door or window into your soul, nobody will dwell there but yourself. I am not entirely sure that “ugliness” is the right descriptor. I think “ugly” is in the eye of the beholder. This was very nuanced and thought provoking ❤
This advice could not have come at a perfect time.. I’ve needed this advice for a long time… thank you
Love this!! So refreshing. Thank you for popping up in my feed today!
I thought it was going to be only about female appearance but you went sooo much further, thankfully!!! ❤
Pamela Anderson is an icon now for this choosing not to wear makeup and be her authentic self I love this topic
making goofy ugly faces helps me to remind myself i don’t gotta be perfect i love this❤
I don't need to make faces for that 🤣
@@Anika9691 Well the soul is what matters have a wonderful sleep
So true; it's only through embracing humility that we can access authenticity.
I find this concept interesting and I want to relate it to the Catholic/Christian religion. As Catholics we believe that we are born with 'ugliness' inside of us (stained with original sin from Adam and Eve) but at the same time we are made in the image and likeness of God which IS beauty. We are able to be redeemed and saved through the ultimate act of beauty, God becoming man and sacrifing himself on the cross for us. Our baptism takes away the stain of original sin and allows us to become children of God. We practice the ultimate vulnerability- continuous penance whenever we fall short and sin, confessing the extreme ugliness of our sin to our fellow man (priest) and God during the sacrament of confession (reconciliation). One of the worst sins is pride, meaning you believe that you can't be "ugly" or let people see you as "ugly". In the garden, after they sinned, Adam and Eve hid from God because they didn't want Him to see their ugliness. Sin, which is turning away from God and indulging in our own selfish desires, is ultimately what makes a person have ugliness. Living in accordance to God & loving Him every day will afford you extreme beauty- holiness. Living the opposite of that, in accordance to the world & Satan, will make us unbelievably ugly. Our hope is to reunited with the ultimate beauty & love which is God in heaven, where ugliness is no longer possible and everything is perfect with Him, where we can love Him perfectly forever and ever. ❤
This made me feel better about having adult acne and struggling so long with it so thank you so much.
The thing is, when I was little I always let the "ugly" get out, and showed it to everyone. But the only thing i encountered was rejection and bad looks. So I stopped doing it.
I was starting already to "be ugly" (even before watching your video) because I discovered is very freeing, but it seems like nowadays people dont really want to commit and bear with the ugliness of people, with their problems and lows.
Its seems that many people are with you only when you are ok. When you really need help from others, they dissapear.
Often the ugliness someone else perceives in you is triggering to them because it forces them to come to terms with their own ugliness and they don't want to do that. So it really doesn't have anything to do with you at the end of the day.
@@kat.eleftheriou 💯👌
I like it, I've been trying to be as ugly as possible. But I'm struggling to find the balance between my authentic unclear self and getting my message out.
I don't like the fake purity that society perpetuates. People pointing fingers that other’s behaviors are ugly acting like they don't have them. In the perspective of Jungian psychology, integrating the shadow is important.
Yes, exactly! What we judge in others is what we're also capable of--how you choose to behave is the only control you have and sometimes you mess up.
To have patience with oneself is to have self-love 🌹
this is an excellent companion piece to The Substance, like, you and Fargeat are so real and literally cured body dysmorphia
I still have to watch that movie! But I'm going to keep this in mind now when I do.
This resonates! So good and on point. Thank you.❤
Embracing the rawness state is so important! Thank for the wise share!
I love hearing what you think, what a delight. You challenge me at every turn.
Kat, thank you for sharing your thoughts :-) it does make sense as we tend to be perfect in all levels :-) it only stops us of continuing our journey with some joy and tranquility. Thank you for remind me of it. Much love and gratitude from a small town in Portugal.
the worst thing they made me feel when i was unflinching and resolute, STRONG was...ugly. I was more "man" than any of them - i've squared up to one that came swinging at me at just 11 years old. but "ugly" was what KILLED me. time to be absolutely butt fucking hideous now.
The fact you brought up Hereditary was so legit
I think it’s more about accepting. “Ugly” is just a perception in our mind. For example some people have a grandmother, who to them is beautiful, because of their love. It’s more about self love.
this is just so well explained