End-of-Life Support by Chaplain Sakinah Alhabshi

Maybe: A Reflection for the End of Life.
When you’re supporting someone towards the end of their lives, it may be hard to assess what would bring the most comfort to the dying person… so keep an open mind and an open heart… to be attentive to the wide variety of emotions, needs, and concerns that may be present, in the room… on their minds… in their hearts.
I invite you to soften your gaze…
and follow my voice as if it were the voice of the dying…
Bismillahirrahmaanirraheem
Maybe I’ll need to share my life story,
and still, struggle with my purpose.
Maybe I’m frustrated, annoyed, sad…
and lash out at the nurse and at you!
Maybe I’m angry I’m losing control,
and so mad at Allah, at you, at myself!
Maybe I’ll need to feel loved, feel wanted…
and to know that my life meant something.
Maybe I’m grieving, and tears are flowing,
feeling the loss of my dreams, my loved ones, my breath.
Maybe I’ll be in pain… so much pain…
pain in my body, pain in my heart.
Maybe I’m regretful, seeking forgiveness,
and hoping to mend relationships with my family, with Allah
Maybe I’ve so much unfinished business,
and need to know my loved ones will be okay.
Maybe I’m just so confused… seeing things & hearing voices,

wondering if I’ve gone mad!
Maybe I feel deeply ashamed...
coz the room smells bad,
and my body… smells like death.
Maybe I wonder if Allah really loves me,
and the whole mystery of it all, what awaits me in Paradise
Maybe I want to pray or make dua,

yet the words escape me.
Maybe I just don’t want to be alone…
So ask me gently…
What I need… what I want…
And if I can’t respond…
Maybe lend me a bit of your strength and peace,
through your eyes, your gracious duas,
asking for husnulkhaatimah, a beautiful ending.
Maybe wipe my sweaty forehead with a cool towel,
wet my aching cracked lips with some ZamZam and chapstick.
Maybe check-in with my loved ones
who are also in so much pain
Maybe not say too much to them
but just lend them your shoulder to lean on.
Maybe soothe me with my favourite surah from the Qur’an,
recited in your gentle, tender, voice.
Maybe remind me gently of Allah’s One-ness, and beautiful promises
of ArRahmaan’s mercy, AlAfoo’s forgiveness, AlWadood’s love.
And if nothing else…
if you can only sit… comfortable with me… quietly… by my side…
with… the face of love… the face of compassion…
that would be enough.
May this be of benefit to you when you’re supporting your loved ones and community members, at the end of their lives.
May Allah grant us all a husnulkhaatimah, a beautiful ending and a beautiful life.
JazaakumuAllahukhayran katheeran
Thank you.