An interesting fact that comes to mind about this topic - my mom had banned Mothers Day from our household because her godmother is infertile. In fact, Auntie Tamara has a lot of godchildren, because her friends knew how much she wanted kids, and said that she is officially the honorary mom of all of their kids. And she really did seem happy about it, she loves all her godkids and has always done her best to be able to help and babysit them and legit stand in as their second mom! My mom justifies the banning of Mothers Day saying "There are many women who would love nothing more than to have a kid, and this holiday spits in the faces of those women! And alternatively, there are so many so-called mothers who had abused and neglected their kids and don't deserve to be called 'mom' and yet they get celebrated and the kid is made out to be the bad guy for not loving an awful mother. We have international women's day, congratulate me then, but mothers day is banned" I just really wanted to share this on the topic, coz honestly a) I wanted to gush about how amazing and strong Auntie Tamara is and b) I thought it's an interesting way of looking at the whole mother thing.
How do you cope with everyone around you having babies, being invited to baby showers and having to be supportive of your friends? I spent my cousins baby shower hiding tears in the bathroom. I left early and I felt so guilty. How do you deal with all the the pics of ultra sounds, proud parents with their newborns, little ones smiling or walking or tasting something for the first time? How do you cope with hearing about someone close to you having an abortion and remain compassionate towards them and their experience, when all you want is a baby?
I am so sorry you are going through this... I know that you are not alone in feeling like this. I can definitely talk about this in an upcoming Thursday video. I hope that helps! xoxo
You are not alone, the same has gone through my mind. Baby showers can definetely be a trigger. I have not gone through infertility but I do know that childhood neglect can also cause the feelings mentioned above. I would also suggest that if these are your actual real and close friends that you have a private chat and communicate your needs, and that at this time your emotioanlly unavailable. It took me time to communicate my needs, and I was terrified of ridicule but it turned out to be ok and a rewarding experience.
Thank you so much! Infertility is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through in my life- it’s so misunderstood and isolating. People say such insensitive things and I think that’s in part because it’s not talked about. It feels so similar to when my sister was diagnosed with cancer... there really is a grieving process you have to go through.
that is messed up you must live in one of those horrible states it also isnt uncommon anymore soon it will be most people dealing with this problem with the eugenics program known as the HPV vaccine still around
I’m so glad you put this out. I watched all my friends get pregnant around me when all I wanted was a child. After 4 years of trying we were finally blessed with our beautiful son. This was such a thoughtful topic.
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My wife and I have unexplained infertility. We have been married for eight years. There are no words that can describe the deep emotional pain that infertility has caused my wife and I and how it has effected our relationship. The hurt is so deep and the desire to conceive month in and month out is torturous. Thankfully, we were able to adopt our beautiful son the day he was born and that has fulfilled our dream of becoming parents. However, not a day goes by that we don’t think about our desire to have another child and how disappointing it is that we cannot conceive. My wife has been depressed to the point of suicide over this in the past. She has always wanted for nothing other than to be a mother. We will never understand why this happened to us. Right now we are done trying fertility methods because of the stress, cost, and toll it takes on our relationships. I think infertility is one of the worst things a human being can endure.
I actually had a relationship end because of my infertility which was difficult to handle. Being only 21 and knowing ur infertile and trying to date knowing people change there minds later down the road, or like my ex, have it set in stone that they want kids is very daunting. My infertility was caused by full body radiation and chemotherapy as a 9 year old. It's something I've grown to come to terms with and even embrace but some how seems to make me feel undesired or lesser when I tell dates or extended family that I'm infertile and that I don't want kids, I always mention that there's always adoption even tho I know that's not what I want.
I found out when I was around 19, I'm now 44. Moving through life carrying this is hard, oh if I had a pound for every time I heard " you're young you have loads of time". It sucks. The medical professionals I have dealt with never once asked how I was coping.
Appreciate Video clip! Forgive me for butting in, I would love your initial thoughts. Have you researched - *ThePregnancyFact. Com* It is a great one of a kind product for learning how to get pregnant naturally minus the hard work. Ive heard some super things about it and my buddy after many years got excellent results with it.
I am so glad I decided to search YT for videos to help me through my infertility. So thankful I came across two of your videos! I truly needed to hear your advice 😭 I am currently having tele-health therapy meetings, but it still doesn't seem to be enough😞 I find myself feeling overwhelmingly emotional at any given moment🥺 Thank you for putting these videos out there ❤❤❤
I’m sorry but that’s terrible logic. Everyone’s got problems in different categories, and if we were to follow that then no one would be able to speak of anything.
You are not broken. You are strong, you are loved and you are beautiful! I am watching this to help my best friend get through this hard time in her life.
These tips are really simple but incredibly useful. I have Turners Syndrome and coincidentally infertility along with other health issues. I focus on staying positive and the good things about myself but some days it honestly just sucks. Some moments I just don’t have the energy to be optimistic. I truly appreciate you saying allow yourself to feel how you feel. I don’t ignore my basic needs so I shouldn’t be ignoring my mental health needs either.
I have just recently discovered your channel and I just wanna say you seem like a really lovely and compassionate person! Thank you so much for your hard work and reaching out to help people understand mental health better. The world needs more like you, honestly. Love you
This is so true. I previously had twin pregnancy but the lack of support lead to their adoption. I would never wish that pain on anyone. Now not being able to have more children is devastating
This video was perfectly timed for me. I would love to see more videos that delve deeper into this and miscarriage. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for about 2 years now and it's getting really exhausting.
Kati I'm a long time viewer and these tore me apart. Its exactly what I'm going with and my husband as well. You explain and talk so much better than my therapist !!! I love you that is tough so much for this I support you !!!
I’m not even struggling from infertility but I still learned a lot from what you had to say. I especially liked when you spoke about everyday grieving, it was something that i had never thought about before but now I hope that I can apply it to my own life. It’s really important to take care of yourself, and like you said especially when you happen to be without therapy for periods of time.
Please make more video’s on this topic! My husband and I have been stuggeling with infertillity for more than 10 years! And the dochters cannot even find anything wrong. We have tried Everything and also taken multiple breaks from trying.
Thank you Kati. I was told at 14 I would never be able to have children. At the time, I was put on birth control to try to control the endometriosis I was already suffering from in silence. Nobody even mentioned the physical damage from very early childhood sexual abuse, of course. It was 50 years ago when everyone just looked away and didn't talk about it. I had 4 children, including a set of twins. Never say never. Thanks for all you do for us.
ya when your body can heal it does help my great grandmother was told she would never be able to walk again because of her MS she showed them went through some treatment stuff that was experimental and walked until she was about 100
Cancer made me unable to have children. There are a lot of emotions wrapped up in that. But, for me, having a kitten who loves to cuddle on my lap all day really helps.
Thanks Kati. I have PCOS and this topic hits really close to home. Even though I've been in therapy for a few years I still find myself struggling sometimes. Jealousy, grief and feelings of inadequacy are common themes I deal with regarding infertility. Thanks for going into this topic and I look forward to more videos about how to cope with the difficult feelings (jealousy, anger, guilt) we sometimes encounter being surrounded by friends and family who are having babies.
I’m glad you covered this. I don’t know if I have it medically, but I know I want children but haven’t found someone to have them with and don’t know if I ever will. That isn’t the same, of course, but I know how much that hurts me so I can only imagine how much more it could be for others. I wish the best for everyone.
This video is perfect timing! Just got diagnosed with PCOS a few days ago and it’s so scary being told I might not be able to have children especially as I am only 18. I have always wanted to be a mum so bad so it’s been tough, I even cried at an animated baby in Incredibles 2 because I got sad that I might never have my own children! Thank you for all the great advice and for reminding me that it’s okay to feel everything that I’m feeling and to remember to take care of myself :)
I have been told since I was 15 that my chances of getting pregnant were slim. That was my dream, a big gaggle of kids. I have since had more than one miscarriage, it never get easier and idk that I grieved that loss, idk that I've grieved anything really. I just push it aside and only.deal when I am triggered. I have been blessed with a best friend, who named me godmother to the most precious little girl! I am thankful for that! It can be so hard though watching people around you get pregnant, and then not want them or not be able to handle them.
well there is adoption so you can still have a bunch of children well right now in america most females cant get preg and now it is starting to be males because the HPV vaccine causes this problem
Thank you so much for covering this! Currently going through this right now - it’s so nice to know we’re not alone. Please keep doing this line of videos - as always I appreciate every video you make 💕
I'll be showing this video to my sister. Thank you for this, and ALL your videos. As an agoraphobic, they are more helpful than I can express to you. THANK YOU! (And great live stream today!)
Kati Morton Can you do a video on coping with emotionally abusive parents? I believe I am being emotionally abused by my parents but I don't want to leave and I'm to scared to tell them that I'm scared of them. I know you have done videos on this subject but can you do how to cope with it plz?
I never really wanted children so I didn’t really care what was wrong, and my mother did not think it was important to go to the doctor for my lack of periods. I never wanted to go to any doctor because any time my doctor told me something was wrong, my mom automatically blamed myself and made me feel bad about it. After my mother kicked me out, I decided to take care of myself once summer hit. I saw a gynecologist, an eye doctor, and a psychologist. So far, I have found out that I have PCOS and will not be able to have children, a severe vitamin D deficiency, am not immune to hep B or C, I have persistent depression, anxiety, social anxiety, OCD, and am showing signs of post traumatic stress, and am waiting for an ultrasound for my eyes later this week because my doctor found a spot on the back of my eye. :/ I’m insanely mad at my mom for being trash. I don’t tell her anything about me seeing doctors or anything like that.
You might still be able to have kids. I have PCOS and endometriosis. It’s going to be a long hard process but with fertility treatment it’s possible. ❤️
I also have PCOS and all the issues that go along with it. It is very hard to hear. Can be very difficult to cope with. I understand you dont want kids, but there are still ways you can help yourself get to a more normal healthy cycle. A big one i have found is cutting out dairy. I also use CBD oils to help with some of the pain and mood issues. Ofc i also have pain for other currently unknown reasons...but just keep doing your own research on your issues and see what works for your body. Het yourself to a point where you can feel better. Good luck hun :)
I agree that this topic is often overlooked and im glad you are disussing it. Not that it is intentional, but i do feel that those who are able to become parents fairly easily tend to forget it isn't a given for everyone.
I’m infertile due to gender transition and to be honest, it never bothered me that I couldn’t have biological children. I’ve always wanted to adopt or try a surrogate regardless.
There are so many ways to have children.. and I am glad you have always wanted to adopt or try a surrogate :) xoxo You will be a wonderful parent :) xoxo
I want kids more than anything in the world but I would have to adopt and I can't because of MH issues and ASD, I've been told I won't get approved. I know its not the same but I'm heart broken. I'm so thankful for this video. Thank you.
I have the same problem.. I can't have biological children and I won't be able to adopt because it is very hard to get approved if you are LGBT in my country. It is still years away for me but I'm already heartbroken :/
Hi Kati, thank you so much for your videos. I'm 37, have been single for the past 5 years and have always wanted to have children. I ended two long term relationships, because the partners were very undecided about having kids. It would be great if you could include in such a video also those who are not trying to conceive, but haven't found the right partner.
Thank you for linking me to this video kati! I'm surprised I haven't seen this video, I'm going to try out some of these techniques to help me cope through this difficult time
Thanks for this video. I know so many people struggle with this. I would love to see a video on how to cope with not wanting children. My husband and I have never wanted children. We have been married over 10 years already and are very happy together. But we live in the Bible Belt of the south where you are expected to have kids. Some people treat us horribly because we don’t want children. How do you deal with that? The older we get, the more rude others get.
you tell them how selfish having a baby is and how you cant afford it and then you ask them why they want a child to starve (it works i have used that before and it shuts them the hell up even if its not true)
I'm experiencing the exact same thing. Most of my friends are pregnant or already have children and I get asked by everyone when my husband & I will have children and I'm constantly pressured by my family to get pregnant. I don't how to react because I've never wanted to have biological children even when I was a child, I remember my mom would say God will punish me for thinking that. I get told a lot to adopt and although that is what I hope to do someday, I dont feel prepared for motherhood yet
OMG yes!!!! I absolutely love children and I'm excellent with them, but for whatever psychological reason, I've never wanted to bring a child into the world. I think because I don't want to bring a kid into this messed up place - whether or not that's a good reason or not. But anyway, I see such JUDGEMENT on people's faces when they ask me "Do you have any kids?"
Thanks a lot for answering my question on the live stream about OCD and EMDR 😍 I was so happy ahah. Thanks for everything you do! You're an amazing person
I believe it would be nice to see a video on coping with being a caregiver. I have a disabled 3 year old girl and although some times are wonderful other times have nearly driven my wife and I crazy with depression and stress.
My husband doesn’t make any sperm and today was particularly hard. I’ve dealt with a lot of passive suicide ideology going through this nightmare because its the worst thing I could have imagined before it became my reality. All I want is to be a mommy to a child my husband and I created naturally. I can’t see my life without a biological child with my husband so am not sure how to exist without it
Thanks! I have been going through this since all my rapes and losing babies then having to have surgery to where I can never have kids because of the damage and now because I have no uterus... so I am so broken now from it all. But this helps! I wish you would do a video about ptsd with sexual relationships and how those of us like me go through a lot even though we know we are safe triggers are insane! And from nausea to pain it’s very crazy. A lot of people do not realize how deep it goes like my body freezes when I know I’m safe and it feels good then boom pain and or stomach issues. I love your channel always have just been mia as a kinion because of all my pain.
:( that is horrible i hope that you have been at least mentally fixing yourself i also think she has a few videos about PTSD especially when it comes to being raped
ihartevil oh yeah I’ve been in therapy and still am and to me I am a survivor not a victim, it didn’t define me yet it did help shape me. And to me yes I’ve seen all of her videos but one on ptsd dealing with sexual abuse and relationships in the now aren’t there yet. Hopefully she does do that. ❤️ she is pretty great. I use to be a patreon but I couldn’t ever get on the live private chats so I was paying 50 a month to not get to see the weekly stuff. I did it for about 6 maybe more months than gave up but I love her videos.
i thought she had one up about that i know she has several up about PTSD you know where another good place to go is th-cam.com/users/cardgamesftw all the we are still here videos LKs wife was raped twice and she talked about it in several of those videos she has CPTSD now because of it maybe that can help you out a bit at least make it so you know you arent alone and you are right you are a survivor
I don't know if it is OK to say that, but l feel bad for you..this is a very horrible thing to happen to anyone .. Sorry for my bad English I'm from the middle east.. But your comment broke my heart.. I wish you the best.. Stay strong ..
If you or your significant other is infertile, give the *ThePregnancyFact. Com* a go. The results that western medicine gave me was disappointing later a couple of months of having scheduled acupuncture remedies and sticking to a wholesome dietary, I became pregnant. Seeing my 1 year old girl wandering in front of me makes me very happy. To find out more regarding this amazing formula, check out Google.?
Thank you so much for talking about this issue. Infertility issues nearly destroyed my marriage because my husband had no issue to not having a child of our own. Me on the other side felt so betrayed and hurt and angry that we drifted so far apart from each other that we considered divorce because I felt left alone with my grieve about not becoming a mom. Until this summer I had the worst 6 month of my life I didn’t even know what was wrong with me. I was aware that I was depressed but not that I was sick. After a horrible last 6 month I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 disorder and honestly after the clouds in my head disappeared and the medication kicked in my first thought was thank God I don’t have children. It was like all the mountains in the world fell of my heart. My diagnosis rescued my marriage and I truly can say now that it probably never was meant for me becoming a mother. God knows what he is doing. Sorry this ended up to be almost an essay.
what you just typed is pretty much what heykayli said about her miscarriage it just wasnt the right time or the right baby because layla has been a total gift to their family and no other baby could be just like her sometimes things arent supposed to happen because there are other ways it turns out better
I've struggled with infertility for a long time now. I have a time clock. I was diagnosed with pcos and one of the symptoms is infertility. I'm very lucky to have my daughter and I'm grateful but me and my fiance want another baby before my surgery. We've been trying for #2 for like 2.5 years and it's difficult. I see all my friends and family around me getting pregnant so easily and I'm happy for them but.. Still I'm a little envious.
I don't feel unhappy when I see other people are having babies. I just tend to be more affectionate towards their babies. I almost try to live their experiences along with them.
thank you for this video, I'm having some infertility/miscarriage unrelated issues right now, but not grieving after it happened might still be effecting my (our) situation I was feeling bad, physically for ~two years and in a long process of trying to get diagnosed when I got pregnant, so I didn't get up my hopes - hubby did, and when it turned out it was blighted pregnancy, at 8th week, two weeks after we found out - we were at very different places emotionally... So.. this video reminded me to take care of myself, but also to bear in mind how we can come to same issue from different sets of expectations, and there needs to be better communication about that, so we can understand each other... 🌷
Thank you so much for doing this and the other infertility video. It’s extremely hard for us.. especially me. I feel like everyone around me is getting pregnant but me. It’s been really tough. ❤️
I have endometriosis and can't have a baby. My brother and his wife has 2 children and sometimes it hurts to be around them and I feel so guilty. It's so hard. I cry in the shower and try to hide my tears from my boyfriend. It's the worst
Thanks for this video. The past 12 months in my life seem to have been all about kids or better said all the reasons why I can't have any. I'm married, have been for 6 years now and no kids so ppl are asking "when?" And things aren't looking so promising on that account. We tried for about 6 months before I went to see a doctor and ended up diagnosed with Hypothyroidism, then Scoliosis, then problems with an old injury in right foot came back and I was diagnosed a couple years ago with Borderline Personality Disorder and so... 6 years married, no kids, my marriage is constantly in the balance, I may not be able to get pregnant and because of my physical limitations and mental health issues I might not be able to adopt and I cannot bring myself to accept the idea of a surrogate mother (if we could actually afford it) so... I often feel as if this is the universe telling me I shouldn't be a mother. It's just so much... I constantly feel like I've failed as a woman and as a wife.
Hi kati, im 17 years old, i suffered from eating disorders and there were times when i stoped having my period… later i was diagnosed with endometriosis, wich is one the principal causes of my infertility. I know im too young to be a mom now. But knowing that i may never have kids is making me so sad. Thankfully i go to therapy, and i have emotional support but it still hurts. I loved your video, thank you💞
hey I know a spell caster that can help you manifest children into your womb in less than 2weeks,he helped my sis and my aunt. He can help you with twins or triplet,he is so powerful
I would love if you could do a video with an art therapist. Encouraging art is wonderful. If someone is especially interested in process work through art creation, it would be great to mention that an art therapist can help further facilitate their progress. If you can mention the expressive therapies in any way, that would be even better. Today's teenagers would make wonderful expressive therapists.
Thank you to talk about this topic. I am born with sterility (I have Rokitansky mrkh syndrom, born without uterus) and even if I'm transitioning and taking testosterone, it's still a delicate topic for me. This is taboo in my family, it was never talked about and I never felt I could talk and express what I felt, and so I'm still now with a lot of anger and can not stand pregnant women near me. I just can't cope with it.
Not 'when you want to get married, when you want to have children' but 'if or when you want to marry/have children'. Choosing to be unmarried and/or childless is as valid a choice as choosing to wed or be a parent.
This is a video to a particular demographic, those who struggle with infertility. That group tends to find out their infertility when they are married and trying to have children. It’s not a video geared to the general public. Calm down.
Yes! Thank you ☺ Would you please talk about hysterectomy at 35 years old and how that affects relationships. How to cope with it and different strategies to feeling whole again?
Kati, can you please do a video about whether or not it is ever ok to stay in an abusive relationship. I know most people say it isn't but what if your partner is in therapy and very actively working on themselves and hasn't acted out in over a year? When is it healthy and acceptable to give them a chance if you really love them and want to make the marriage work?
Thank you for sharing this. This year has been a tough one. My husband and I just celebrated 10 years together. He has been very patient and understanding about my infertility. Both my younger sisters had babies this year, a month apart from each other. I've been lucky enough to be there for them, though the planning, the baby showers. I'm an aunt to a wonderful baby boy and a beautiful baby girl. That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, and that's ok.
hey kati i know you are a therapist and i have been watching your videos for almost a year and thank you. listening to you helps me understand what i am and feeling so thanks. but i would like to know what do you specialize in ?
Hey Katie, I am super curious about your perspective on using cannabis to treat mental illness, more specifically anxiety. THANK YOU so much for making videos they are immensely helpful! ❤
my feelings towards this aren't really common, I am technically choosing to go infertile. I have the option the freeze my eggs but I don't have the money and its too invasive. I plan to go on testosterone and eventually have my uterus removed. I want kids but I am not willing to have one now or freeze eggs and I can't put off transitioning any longer for my mental state (oh, I am 21 and a trans man) so I am choosing to go infertile and part of me feels like I am taking it for granted and I don't know how to feel.
adopting works for that dont worry about wanting to have bio children if you get married then you can have a surrogate and use your spouse and have it be at least half biological if that is important to you
Thank you for the video. I'm a trans women and these are things I've always wanted and I feel born broken because I can't. And another thing going through my head about not being a woman. I haven't grieved this great enough and I get overwhelmed where to start
there was somebody else here who had that same problem in your case what you might want to start with is being trans if you went through the surgery already to be female do you like how you look do you feel better then when you were a man start with the positives first and remind yourself you can always adopt and if you really feel like you need a bio child you can do a half bio with your spouse and do a surrogate baby its not 100% bio but it will at least be bio half of the family
I'm really happy with all these great topics you've been covering lately, I know they're super relatable and important for a lot of people, but I have a question about being a therapist that I'd love to see you answer because I'm really curious and I find the therapeutic process as a whole really fascinating. My question is, do you ever have moments in a therapy session where you realize that your client's worldview/beliefs or even their morality differs drastically from your own? Do you think this has any effect on your rapport with that person? Would you be open with a client that you see things differently, or do you mask your own opinions for their benefit? I guess this goes back to the whole 'what is my therapist really thinking' thing. I'm always interested in hearing more about what the therapeutic relationship is like from the other side. Thanks for all your amazing work
Kati has a playlist called "Therapy Advice" that covers some of these topics. Here are two you might like! th-cam.com/video/lJo8CrigkgQ/w-d-xo.html th-cam.com/video/-47TA1N6i3s/w-d-xo.html
I'm infertile. But, I'd prefer to adopt if I ever decide I do want children. I often forget I cannot have children biologically. Weird how our priorities can differ so drastically from person to person.
Hey Kati, I wanted to ask you this during your livestream, but I couldn’t because I was busy which sucks. So I’ve been to like 4-5 sessions and my therapist just went on vacation a week ago, and it turns out I’m way more dependant on him than I thought. How do I deal until he comes back, and does this mean I’m too dependant? Thanks, and sorry if you already answered this in a Q&A
Kati, your videos are always amazing. After having a miscarriage when I was younger, I have always been terrified that when it comes time to have kids, I won't be able to. Or it will be extremely difficult...especially when I found out that my Mum was in hospital for nearly the whole pregnancy with me! :/
This might sound insensitive, but please would you make a video about people (especially women) who don't want to have children? Is that an issue, what might cause this 'disorder', or is it just normal - because society tends to think that's freakish and that 'you'll change your mind'? Thank you!
Could you make a video about when your partner doesn't want children and how to cope with It? Like what to do and how to not let it drag you down the black hole?
well first of all age really matters to this because there are males who have said never babies and have gone as far as to get vasectomies to later undo them if they are completely serious about this and you know there is no way they will ever come around and they are already in their 40-45 age range then i would say leave them if having children is that important to you
I find it hard to interact with those who are either pregnant or just had a baby. How do you process your own hurts and still find a way to be happy for them?
I’m 15 and I feel like I shouldn’t have as much of a issue with finding out I might not be able to have kids It’s not even like I want to have a kid right now
Can you also do a video on women (and men) who choose not to have children for whatever reason and how to go about it with the outside world that just won't get us? (mine is for many reasons, but mental and physical health are at the top) I am sick of people asking me 'are you married yet? and kids? you have to hurry up' or 'you don't even need a man to have kids, a friend of a friend had a child through a donor, you should too or you can always adopt'. No, I don't, I won't, never. I don't want children (I am too sick, they'll probably be born with that illness or I am simply not maternal and this planet is overpopulated as it is), why is this still taboo in our society?
Hello Kati. I hear often that it's never too late to have a healthy childhood, but i've also come to believe that on the level of mental and social developement, this is is untrue, as you reach milestones in childhood that are impossible to replicate. Basically, what this means is, if you don't learn something by a certain age, be that speech, motor skills, social skills,self care and understanding of emotions, your developement of those skills will always be stunted and malformed, and you will never reach the same maturity as your peers. Not only that, but abuse or permenantly damages your brain by forcing your brain to adapt to the abuse. What is your take on this?
I know I am infertile, because I have Endometriosis, blocking my eggs from getting to my Uterus and make me hurt all the time and I decided to end the toture of the illness(3 Pain Killer Pills every 6 h). I decided to get one of my most destroyed ovaries out hope to get better after this. But in my current condition I end up with killing myself in the wrong Moment. So I had to take what I have and make it a great time
I keep trying to keep myself busy so I don’t think about the empty place I feel in my heart. But my husband doesn’t even listen to me about this because he has kids from other relationships and won’t even try to understand me
Hi Kati! I'm still relatively new to your sight so I'm not totally certain if this is appropriate but I think I saw on one of your channels that you reserve some days for looking in the comments. So I have this issue that feels kind of troubling for me. I started a new job that has been a lot of mindless tasks. My brain will think around what I'm actually doing and lately it's been really focused on the people who've hurt me in the past. I've tried talking with close friends and family about it, and I've tried techniques like listening to music to help and on some level it does, but not always. Some days it gets so bad I have to stop my work and find something to fully distract me, and even then I'll feel upset and tired. Do you have any tips to help my mind break out of this cycle?
Is waiting with recovery until i move out from home a good idea? My parents are one of my biggest trigger and they wouldnt recieve it good and they would probably threat me like im disabeld. Theres not much chance that I would kill myself before moving out(neither after) so thats not a problem. Please answer for my question. Thanks in advance.
It’s hard when everyone around you seems to get pregnent so easily, and then there’s you trying every month by temping, charting, eating right, exercising and taking all the right vitamin supplements- only to be disappointed by yet another negative pregnancy test but you still squint at it (just in case), or come back to it again after a few hours in hopes you will see a shadow of another line. Only to then start your period and even then you google “period before bfp” or some shit like that. In my case it was found I had blocked Fallopian tubes. What’s your story?
I have depression and anxiety, I don't want to have children because I feel I would be a terrible parent I'm not sure how I should overcome these feelings? Also how do you deal with the guilt of depriving your partner of having a child?
Tracking and egg quality are very important things to consider when trying to get pregnant. And many fertility doctors just treat the symptoms instead of helping women discover their obstacles towards pregnancy. Even many gynecologists to this day have no clue what charting is. You'd be amazed how much you can learn about your reproductive health. Knowledge of our fertility and cycles can be empowering! It doesn't have to be a bad thing that it's not romantic every time, it's just science. Oftentimes, perfectly healthy couples don't get pregnant because they are not doing the deed within that day and half window where the woman is fertile. Or maybe they are, but their are dozens of reasons why their egg quality is poor. 40% of miscarriages are due to poor egg quality (Rebecca Fett). Ladies, I recommend "take charge of your fertility" by Toni Weschler and "it starts with the egg" by Rebecca Fett. If you are struggling with high stress and anxiety and even having the correct information makes it worse, then focusing on your health and ways to reduce stress is the most important thing.
I’m in a situation where I have tried to get my type 1 diabetes controlled enough to have a baby. There’s lots of pre planning etc with it. I have put absolutely everything I have into it and still can’t seem to reach the targets. I have a whole bunch of medical teams and a therapist. If I don’t get into target range it puts baby at risk. I can also become very unwell. I feel completely stuck. Type 1 itself doesn’t affect fertility if within reasonable control. I don’t know what to do. Im shattered. It would be selfish to go ahead and try,but it’s what I want more than anything else. How do you cope with ‘doing the right thing’ and not having a child?
My sister just had a baby today , while I've been trying for almost two years. This is just perfect timing thank you ❤️
Seriously! It’s like Kati reads my mind!
Awe I am so glad :) xoxo Happy to help!!
An interesting fact that comes to mind about this topic - my mom had banned Mothers Day from our household because her godmother is infertile. In fact, Auntie Tamara has a lot of godchildren, because her friends knew how much she wanted kids, and said that she is officially the honorary mom of all of their kids. And she really did seem happy about it, she loves all her godkids and has always done her best to be able to help and babysit them and legit stand in as their second mom!
My mom justifies the banning of Mothers Day saying "There are many women who would love nothing more than to have a kid, and this holiday spits in the faces of those women! And alternatively, there are so many so-called mothers who had abused and neglected their kids and don't deserve to be called 'mom' and yet they get celebrated and the kid is made out to be the bad guy for not loving an awful mother. We have international women's day, congratulate me then, but mothers day is banned"
I just really wanted to share this on the topic, coz honestly a) I wanted to gush about how amazing and strong Auntie Tamara is and b) I thought it's an interesting way of looking at the whole mother thing.
How do you cope with everyone around you having babies, being invited to baby showers and having to be supportive of your friends? I spent my cousins baby shower hiding tears in the bathroom. I left early and I felt so guilty. How do you deal with all the the pics of ultra sounds, proud parents with their newborns, little ones smiling or walking or tasting something for the first time? How do you cope with hearing about someone close to you having an abortion and remain compassionate towards them and their experience, when all you want is a baby?
I am so sorry you are going through this... I know that you are not alone in feeling like this. I can definitely talk about this in an upcoming Thursday video. I hope that helps! xoxo
Thank you
You are not alone, the same has gone through my mind. Baby showers can definetely be a trigger. I have not gone through infertility but I do know that childhood neglect can also cause the feelings mentioned above. I would also suggest that if these are your actual real and close friends that you have a private chat and communicate your needs, and that at this time your emotioanlly unavailable. It took me time to communicate my needs, and I was terrified of ridicule but it turned out to be ok and a rewarding experience.
Katie Morales I agree communication is really important in any relationship
You're not alone. I miscarried in 2014 (1 and only pregnancy) and now I have infertility and increase of another miscarriage. It has devasted me.
Thank you so much! Infertility is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through in my life- it’s so misunderstood and isolating. People say such insensitive things and I think that’s in part because it’s not talked about.
It feels so similar to when my sister was diagnosed with cancer... there really is a grieving process you have to go through.
that is messed up you must live in one of those horrible states it also isnt uncommon anymore soon it will be most people dealing with this problem with the eugenics program known as the HPV vaccine still around
I’m so glad you put this out. I watched all my friends get pregnant around me when all I wanted was a child. After 4 years of trying we were finally blessed with our beautiful son. This was such a thoughtful topic.
In case you have an infertility condition as a couple, then it`s recommended to try the *ThePregnancyFact. Com* . I highly got distressed with the outcomes that I was getting from the West prescriptions. Right after a some few months of undergoing planned acupuncture treatment options as well as sticking to a healthy diet, I became conceiving a child. I`m just happy seeing my one year old daughter walk around the house. Visit website to learn more about this excellent plan.?
My wife and I have unexplained infertility. We have been married for eight years. There are no words that can describe the deep emotional pain that infertility has caused my wife and I and how it has effected our relationship. The hurt is so deep and the desire to conceive month in and month out is torturous. Thankfully, we were able to adopt our beautiful son the day he was born and that has fulfilled our dream of becoming parents. However, not a day goes by that we don’t think about our desire to have another child and how disappointing it is that we cannot conceive. My wife has been depressed to the point of suicide over this in the past. She has always wanted for nothing other than to be a mother. We will never understand why this happened to us. Right now we are done trying fertility methods because of the stress, cost, and toll it takes on our relationships. I think infertility is one of the worst things a human being can endure.
I actually had a relationship end because of my infertility which was difficult to handle. Being only 21 and knowing ur infertile and trying to date knowing people change there minds later down the road, or like my ex, have it set in stone that they want kids is very daunting. My infertility was caused by full body radiation and chemotherapy as a 9 year old. It's something I've grown to come to terms with and even embrace but some how seems to make me feel undesired or lesser when I tell dates or extended family that I'm infertile and that I don't want kids, I always mention that there's always adoption even tho I know that's not what I want.
Hey, I'm 23 years old male and I'm infertile too. I'll be glad if we can talk and support each other.
I found out when I was around 19, I'm now 44. Moving through life carrying this is hard, oh if I had a pound for every time I heard " you're young you have loads of time".
It sucks. The medical professionals I have dealt with never once asked how I was coping.
Thank you so much for covering this topic! Both my spouse and I are currently dealing w/ this and it seems like this issue is often overlooked.
I hope some of the tips are helpful :) xoxo I am so sorry you are going through this. xox
Kati Morton thank you so much for your kind words! My spouse is a trans woman which adds an entirely new layer of grief for her
its not overlooked anymore its the main reason why the HPV vaccine is being sued because it causes this problem
Appreciate Video clip! Forgive me for butting in, I would love your initial thoughts. Have you researched - *ThePregnancyFact. Com* It is a great one of a kind product for learning how to get pregnant naturally minus the hard work. Ive heard some super things about it and my buddy after many years got excellent results with it.
Thank you so much. I'm 23 and had a hystorectomy about 7 weeks ago. I needed this.
I am so glad I decided to search YT for videos to help me through my infertility. So thankful I came across two of your videos! I truly needed to hear your advice 😭 I am currently having tele-health therapy meetings, but it still doesn't seem to be enough😞 I find myself feeling overwhelmingly emotional at any given moment🥺 Thank you for putting these videos out there ❤❤❤
This is why you shouldn't ask people when they're going to have kids.
I’m sorry but that’s terrible logic. Everyone’s got problems in different categories, and if we were to follow that then no one would be able to speak of anything.
Or asking a complete stranger, "how many kids do you have?"
You are not broken. You are strong, you are loved and you are beautiful! I am watching this to help my best friend get through this hard time in her life.
Hope your friend is doing well, reading your comment from two years ago helped today ❤
These tips are really simple but incredibly useful. I have Turners Syndrome and coincidentally infertility along with other health issues. I focus on staying positive and the good things about myself but some days it honestly just sucks. Some moments I just don’t have the energy to be optimistic. I truly appreciate you saying allow yourself to feel how you feel. I don’t ignore my basic needs so I shouldn’t be ignoring my mental health needs either.
I have just recently discovered your channel and I just wanna say you seem like a really lovely and compassionate person! Thank you so much for your hard work and reaching out to help people understand mental health better. The world needs more like you, honestly. Love you
Awe thank you!! Welcome to the community, and thank you for taking the time to leave such a sweet comment :) xoxo
This is so true. I previously had twin pregnancy but the lack of support lead to their adoption. I would never wish that pain on anyone. Now not being able to have more children is devastating
This video was perfectly timed for me. I would love to see more videos that delve deeper into this and miscarriage. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for about 2 years now and it's getting really exhausting.
Kati I'm a long time viewer and these tore me apart. Its exactly what I'm going with and my husband as well. You explain and talk so much better than my therapist !!! I love you that is tough so much for this I support you !!!
I’m not even struggling from infertility but I still learned a lot from what you had to say. I especially liked when you spoke about everyday grieving, it was something that i had never thought about before but now I hope that I can apply it to my own life. It’s really important to take care of yourself, and like you said especially when you happen to be without therapy for periods of time.
Please make more video’s on this topic! My husband and I have been stuggeling with infertillity for more than 10 years! And the dochters cannot even find anything wrong. We have tried Everything and also taken multiple breaks from trying.
Wow, going live (which had some super intense convos) and then uploading another video immediately after-*boss ass therapist* You spoil us Kati 💜
So happy I am able to :) xoxo
Thank you Kati. I was told at 14 I would never be able to have children. At the time, I was put on birth control to try to control the endometriosis I was already suffering from in silence. Nobody even mentioned the physical damage from very early childhood sexual abuse, of course. It was 50 years ago when everyone just looked away and didn't talk about it. I had 4 children, including a set of twins. Never say never. Thanks for all you do for us.
ya when your body can heal it does help my great grandmother was told she would never be able to walk again because of her MS she showed them went through some treatment stuff that was experimental and walked until she was about 100
Cancer made me unable to have children. There are a lot of emotions wrapped up in that. But, for me, having a kitten who loves to cuddle on my lap all day really helps.
I just started watching you after I felt like I was having an anxiety attack and you have helped me so much
Thanks Kati. I have PCOS and this topic hits really close to home. Even though I've been in therapy for a few years I still find myself struggling sometimes. Jealousy, grief and feelings of inadequacy are common themes I deal with regarding infertility. Thanks for going into this topic and I look forward to more videos about how to cope with the difficult feelings (jealousy, anger, guilt) we sometimes encounter being surrounded by friends and family who are having babies.
I’m glad you covered this. I don’t know if I have it medically, but I know I want children but haven’t found someone to have them with and don’t know if I ever will. That isn’t the same, of course, but I know how much that hurts me so I can only imagine how much more it could be for others.
I wish the best for everyone.
Watching your videos really do help me with my stress. As I am going through high school, so Thx Kati!
I am so glad!! Happy to help :) xoxo
This video is perfect timing! Just got diagnosed with PCOS a few days ago and it’s so scary being told I might not be able to have children especially as I am only 18. I have always wanted to be a mum so bad so it’s been tough, I even cried at an animated baby in Incredibles 2 because I got sad that I might never have my own children! Thank you for all the great advice and for reminding me that it’s okay to feel everything that I’m feeling and to remember to take care of myself :)
I have been told since I was 15 that my chances of getting pregnant were slim. That was my dream, a big gaggle of kids. I have since had more than one miscarriage, it never get easier and idk that I grieved that loss, idk that I've grieved anything really. I just push it aside and only.deal when I am triggered. I have been blessed with a best friend, who named me godmother to the most precious little girl! I am thankful for that! It can be so hard though watching people around you get pregnant, and then not want them or not be able to handle them.
well there is adoption so you can still have a bunch of children
well right now in america most females cant get preg and now it is starting to be males because the HPV vaccine causes this problem
Thank you so much for covering this! Currently going through this right now - it’s so nice to know we’re not alone. Please keep doing this line of videos - as always I appreciate every video you make 💕
I'll be showing this video to my sister. Thank you for this, and ALL your videos. As an agoraphobic, they are more helpful than I can express to you. THANK YOU! (And great live stream today!)
So glad you enjoyed the livestream!!! And I hope your sister finds the video helpful :) xoxo
Kati Morton Can you do a video on coping with emotionally abusive parents? I believe I am being emotionally abused by my parents but I don't want to leave and I'm to scared to tell them that I'm scared of them. I know you have done videos on this subject but can you do how to cope with it plz?
@@Katimorton Thanks, she loved the video. Another win!! Xoxo, 💛
I never really wanted children so I didn’t really care what was wrong, and my mother did not think it was important to go to the doctor for my lack of periods. I never wanted to go to any doctor because any time my doctor told me something was wrong, my mom automatically blamed myself and made me feel bad about it. After my mother kicked me out, I decided to take care of myself once summer hit. I saw a gynecologist, an eye doctor, and a psychologist. So far, I have found out that I have PCOS and will not be able to have children, a severe vitamin D deficiency, am not immune to hep B or C, I have persistent depression, anxiety, social anxiety, OCD, and am showing signs of post traumatic stress, and am waiting for an ultrasound for my eyes later this week because my doctor found a spot on the back of my eye. :/ I’m insanely mad at my mom for being trash. I don’t tell her anything about me seeing doctors or anything like that.
You might still be able to have kids. I have PCOS and endometriosis. It’s going to be a long hard process but with fertility treatment it’s possible. ❤️
I also have PCOS and all the issues that go along with it. It is very hard to hear. Can be very difficult to cope with. I understand you dont want kids, but there are still ways you can help yourself get to a more normal healthy cycle. A big one i have found is cutting out dairy. I also use CBD oils to help with some of the pain and mood issues. Ofc i also have pain for other currently unknown reasons...but just keep doing your own research on your issues and see what works for your body. Het yourself to a point where you can feel better. Good luck hun :)
I agree that this topic is often overlooked and im glad you are disussing it. Not that it is intentional, but i do feel that those who are able to become parents fairly easily tend to forget it isn't a given for everyone.
Thanks for being so awesome, Kati!
I’m infertile due to gender transition and to be honest, it never bothered me that I couldn’t have biological children. I’ve always wanted to adopt or try a surrogate regardless.
There are so many ways to have children.. and I am glad you have always wanted to adopt or try a surrogate :) xoxo You will be a wonderful parent :) xoxo
Hey Kati, great vid. And congrats on 1000 vids!!! Amazing! Thank you for all you do. Never stop being your inspiring self.
I want kids more than anything in the world but I would have to adopt and I can't because of MH issues and ASD, I've been told I won't get approved. I know its not the same but I'm heart broken. I'm so thankful for this video. Thank you.
MH issues don’t mean you can’t foster or adopt, my mum adopted and fostered with Depression and Bipolar Disorder
Ive been told I'll never get approved... you need a letter from a doctor that states you aren't a risk apparently...
What country are you in?
FieldOfPansies UK
I have the same problem.. I can't have biological children and I won't be able to adopt because it is very hard to get approved if you are LGBT in my country. It is still years away for me but I'm already heartbroken :/
Hi Kati, thank you so much for your videos. I'm 37, have been single for the past 5 years and have always wanted to have children. I ended two long term relationships, because the partners were very undecided about having kids.
It would be great if you could include in such a video also those who are not trying to conceive, but haven't found the right partner.
Thank you for linking me to this video kati! I'm surprised I haven't seen this video, I'm going to try out some of these techniques to help me cope through this difficult time
Love your videos. I am a new therapist taking on youtube and you are a great teacher to us too :)
Thanks for this video. I know so many people struggle with this. I would love to see a video on how to cope with not wanting children. My husband and I have never wanted children. We have been married over 10 years already and are very happy together. But we live in the Bible Belt of the south where you are expected to have kids. Some people treat us horribly because we don’t want children. How do you deal with that? The older we get, the more rude others get.
you tell them how selfish having a baby is and how you cant afford it and then you ask them why they want a child to starve (it works i have used that before and it shuts them the hell up even if its not true)
I'm experiencing the exact same thing. Most of my friends are pregnant or already have children and I get asked by everyone when my husband & I will have children and I'm constantly pressured by my family to get pregnant. I don't how to react because I've never wanted to have biological children even when I was a child, I remember my mom would say God will punish me for thinking that. I get told a lot to adopt and although that is what I hope to do someday, I dont feel prepared for motherhood yet
OMG yes!!!! I absolutely love children and I'm excellent with them, but for whatever psychological reason, I've never wanted to bring a child into the world. I think because I don't want to bring a kid into this messed up place - whether or not that's a good reason or not. But anyway, I see such JUDGEMENT on people's faces when they ask me "Do you have any kids?"
Thanks a lot for answering my question on the live stream about OCD and EMDR 😍 I was so happy ahah. Thanks for everything you do! You're an amazing person
I needed this today. Thank you, and bless you for being the kind soul you are to help others. ❤️
I believe it would be nice to see a video on coping with being a caregiver. I have a disabled 3 year old girl and although some times are wonderful other times have nearly driven my wife and I crazy with depression and stress.
My husband doesn’t make any sperm and today was particularly hard. I’ve dealt with a lot of passive suicide ideology going through this nightmare because its the worst thing I could have imagined before it became my reality. All I want is to be a mommy to a child my husband and I created naturally. I can’t see my life without a biological child with my husband so am not sure how to exist without it
Thanks! I have been going through this since all my rapes and losing babies then having to have surgery to where I can never have kids because of the damage and now because I have no uterus... so I am so broken now from it all. But this helps! I wish you would do a video about ptsd with sexual relationships and how those of us like me go through a lot even though we know we are safe triggers are insane! And from nausea to pain it’s very crazy. A lot of people do not realize how deep it goes like my body freezes when I know I’m safe and it feels good then boom pain and or stomach issues.
I love your channel always have just been mia as a kinion because of all my pain.
:( that is horrible i hope that you have been at least mentally fixing yourself
i also think she has a few videos about PTSD especially when it comes to being raped
ihartevil oh yeah I’ve been in therapy and still am and to me I am a survivor not a victim, it didn’t define me yet it did help shape me.
And to me yes I’ve seen all of her videos but one on ptsd dealing with sexual abuse and relationships in the now aren’t there yet. Hopefully she does do that. ❤️ she is pretty great. I use to be a patreon but I couldn’t ever get on the live private chats so I was paying 50 a month to not get to see the weekly stuff. I did it for about 6 maybe more months than gave up but I love her videos.
i thought she had one up about that i know she has several up about PTSD
you know where another good place to go is th-cam.com/users/cardgamesftw all the we are still here videos LKs wife was raped twice and she talked about it in several of those videos she has CPTSD now because of it maybe that can help you out a bit
at least make it so you know you arent alone and you are right you are a survivor
I don't know if it is OK to say that, but l feel bad for you..this is a very horrible thing to happen to anyone .. Sorry for my bad English I'm from the middle east.. But your comment broke my heart.. I wish you the best.. Stay strong ..
If you or your significant other is infertile, give the *ThePregnancyFact. Com* a go. The results that western medicine gave me was disappointing later a couple of months of having scheduled acupuncture remedies and sticking to a wholesome dietary, I became pregnant. Seeing my 1 year old girl wandering in front of me makes me very happy. To find out more regarding this amazing formula, check out Google.?
Very good advice and reassuring! It really helps. Me and spouse are going through this.
Thank you so much for talking about this issue. Infertility issues nearly destroyed my marriage because my husband had no issue to not having a child of our own. Me on the other side felt so betrayed and hurt and angry that we drifted so far apart from each other that we considered divorce because I felt left alone with my grieve about not becoming a mom. Until this summer I had the worst 6 month of my life I didn’t even know what was wrong with me. I was aware that I was depressed but not that I was sick. After a horrible last 6 month I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 disorder and honestly after the clouds in my head disappeared and the medication kicked in my first thought was thank God I don’t have children. It was like all the mountains in the world fell of my heart. My diagnosis rescued my marriage and I truly can say now that it probably never was meant for me becoming a mother. God knows what he is doing. Sorry this ended up to be almost an essay.
what you just typed is pretty much what heykayli said about her miscarriage it just wasnt the right time or the right baby because layla has been a total gift to their family and no other baby could be just like her
sometimes things arent supposed to happen because there are other ways it turns out better
I've struggled with infertility for a long time now. I have a time clock. I was diagnosed with pcos and one of the symptoms is infertility. I'm very lucky to have my daughter and I'm grateful but me and my fiance want another baby before my surgery. We've been trying for #2 for like 2.5 years and it's difficult. I see all my friends and family around me getting pregnant so easily and I'm happy for them but.. Still I'm a little envious.
Thank you for this video. I wish I had seen it 3 years ago. It is such an important topic and you did such a wonderful job covering it.
I am so glad you thought it was helpful.. sorry I didn't create it sooner. xoxo
I don't feel unhappy when I see other people are having babies. I just tend to be more affectionate towards their babies. I almost try to live their experiences along with them.
thank you for this video, I'm having some infertility/miscarriage unrelated issues right now, but not grieving after it happened might still be effecting my (our) situation
I was feeling bad, physically for ~two years and in a long process of trying to get diagnosed when I got pregnant, so I didn't get up my hopes - hubby did, and when it turned out it was blighted pregnancy, at 8th week, two weeks after we found out - we were at very different places emotionally...
So.. this video reminded me to take care of myself, but also to bear in mind how we can come to same issue from different sets of expectations, and there needs to be better communication about that, so we can understand each other...
🌷
Kati, I like how you cover everything!
Thank you so much for doing this and the other infertility video. It’s extremely hard for us.. especially me. I feel like everyone around me is getting pregnant but me. It’s been really tough. ❤️
I have endometriosis and can't have a baby. My brother and his wife has 2 children and sometimes it hurts to be around them and I feel so guilty. It's so hard. I cry in the shower and try to hide my tears from my boyfriend. It's the worst
Great Video Kati!! Thanks For This Info!!
Of course!! So happy to help :) xoxo
Hey Katie!!! Was busy all day finally got the notification.
Thanks for this video. The past 12 months in my life seem to have been all about kids or better said all the reasons why I can't have any. I'm married, have been for 6 years now and no kids so ppl are asking "when?" And things aren't looking so promising on that account.
We tried for about 6 months before I went to see a doctor and ended up diagnosed with Hypothyroidism, then Scoliosis, then problems with an old injury in right foot came back and I was diagnosed a couple years ago with Borderline Personality Disorder and so...
6 years married, no kids, my marriage is constantly in the balance, I may not be able to get pregnant and because of my physical limitations and mental health issues I might not be able to adopt and I cannot bring myself to accept the idea of a surrogate mother (if we could actually afford it) so... I often feel as if this is the universe telling me I shouldn't be a mother.
It's just so much... I constantly feel like I've failed as a woman and as a wife.
Thank you for posting this.
Thankyou so much for this video, as a person who faces this at a very young age, it really helped x
I am so glad I could help. xoxo You are definitely not alone. xox
Hi kati, im 17 years old, i suffered from eating disorders and there were times when i stoped having my period… later i was diagnosed with endometriosis, wich is one the principal causes of my infertility. I know im too young to be a mom now. But knowing that i may never have kids is making me so sad. Thankfully i go to therapy, and i have emotional support but it still hurts. I loved your video, thank you💞
hey I know a spell caster that can help you manifest children into your womb in less than 2weeks,he helped my sis and my aunt. He can help you with twins or triplet,he is so powerful
I know he can help you the way he helped us
I'm now a mother of twins babies
I would love if you could do a video with an art therapist. Encouraging art is wonderful. If someone is especially interested in process work through art creation, it would be great to mention that an art therapist can help further facilitate their progress. If you can mention the expressive therapies in any way, that would be even better. Today's teenagers would make wonderful expressive therapists.
Thank you to talk about this topic. I am born with sterility (I have Rokitansky mrkh syndrom, born without uterus) and even if I'm transitioning and taking testosterone, it's still a delicate topic for me. This is taboo in my family, it was never talked about and I never felt I could talk and express what I felt, and so I'm still now with a lot of anger and can not stand pregnant women near me. I just can't cope with it.
Not 'when you want to get married, when you want to have children' but 'if or when you want to marry/have children'. Choosing to be unmarried and/or childless is as valid a choice as choosing to wed or be a parent.
Infertility is usually not as big a problem for people who choose to be unmarried and childless...
This is a video to a particular demographic, those who struggle with infertility. That group tends to find out their infertility when they are married and trying to have children. It’s not a video geared to the general public.
Calm down.
Yes! Thank you ☺
Would you please talk about hysterectomy at 35 years old and how that affects relationships. How to cope with it and different strategies to feeling whole again?
Kati, can you please do a video about whether or not it is ever ok to stay in an abusive relationship. I know most people say it isn't but what if your partner is in therapy and very actively working on themselves and hasn't acted out in over a year? When is it healthy and acceptable to give them a chance if you really love them and want to make the marriage work?
Your Schizophrenia/Schizoaffective disorder video was very informational!
Thank you for sharing this. This year has been a tough one. My husband and I just celebrated 10 years together. He has been very patient and understanding about my infertility. Both my younger sisters had babies this year, a month apart from each other. I've been lucky enough to be there for them, though the planning, the baby showers. I'm an aunt to a wonderful baby boy and a beautiful baby girl. That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, and that's ok.
I’m about to be 32 and I’m single and I’m really scared that it’s never going to happen for me.
Hi Kati, I'm from the UK 😊 could you possibly do a video on touch deprivation please? It's such a big issue but there's so little information on it :/
hey kati i know you are a therapist and i have been watching your videos for almost a year and thank you. listening to you helps me understand what i am and feeling so thanks. but i would like to know what do you specialize in ?
Hey Katie, I am super curious about your perspective on using cannabis to treat mental illness, more specifically anxiety. THANK YOU so much for making videos they are immensely helpful! ❤
my feelings towards this aren't really common, I am technically choosing to go infertile. I have the option the freeze my eggs but I don't have the money and its too invasive. I plan to go on testosterone and eventually have my uterus removed. I want kids but I am not willing to have one now or freeze eggs and I can't put off transitioning any longer for my mental state (oh, I am 21 and a trans man) so I am choosing to go infertile and part of me feels like I am taking it for granted and I don't know how to feel.
Your amazing. ❤
Maybe start a gofundme? :/ I would advise you to talk this important decision through with a therapist, doctors, friends and family... good luck!!
adopting works for that dont worry about wanting to have bio children if you get married then you can have a surrogate and use your spouse and have it be at least half biological if that is important to you
My spouse is a trans woman and the day she went on the E was the best day of her life. Congrats!
@@_just_TK thank you very much :) I am really excited
Thank you for the video. I'm a trans women and these are things I've always wanted and I feel born broken because I can't. And another thing going through my head about not being a woman. I haven't grieved this great enough and I get overwhelmed where to start
there was somebody else here who had that same problem
in your case what you might want to start with is being trans if you went through the surgery already to be female do you like how you look do you feel better then when you were a man
start with the positives first and remind yourself you can always adopt and if you really feel like you need a bio child you can do a half bio with your spouse and do a surrogate baby its not 100% bio but it will at least be bio half of the family
Kati, could you explain from a psychological perspective about incest? I'm suffering from this in the family. Thanks, I love your channel.
Paul Gilmartin and Kati did make such an video.
I'm really happy with all these great topics you've been covering lately, I know they're super relatable and important for a lot of people, but I have a question about being a therapist that I'd love to see you answer because I'm really curious and I find the therapeutic process as a whole really fascinating. My question is, do you ever have moments in a therapy session where you realize that your client's worldview/beliefs or even their morality differs drastically from your own? Do you think this has any effect on your rapport with that person? Would you be open with a client that you see things differently, or do you mask your own opinions for their benefit? I guess this goes back to the whole 'what is my therapist really thinking' thing. I'm always interested in hearing more about what the therapeutic relationship is like from the other side. Thanks for all your amazing work
Kati has a playlist called "Therapy Advice" that covers some of these topics. Here are two you might like!
th-cam.com/video/lJo8CrigkgQ/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/-47TA1N6i3s/w-d-xo.html
Great as always kati
I'm infertile. But, I'd prefer to adopt if I ever decide I do want children.
I often forget I cannot have children biologically. Weird how our priorities can differ so drastically from person to person.
Hey Kati, I wanted to ask you this during your livestream, but I couldn’t because I was busy which sucks. So I’ve been to like 4-5 sessions and my therapist just went on vacation a week ago, and it turns out I’m way more dependant on him than I thought. How do I deal until he comes back, and does this mean I’m too dependant? Thanks, and sorry if you already answered this in a Q&A
Thank you for this video!!!!
You’re welcome 😊
I love that I got a durex commercial on this video
It's not easy
Love it kati!💕
Kati, your videos are always amazing. After having a miscarriage when I was younger, I have always been terrified that when it comes time to have kids, I won't be able to. Or it will be extremely difficult...especially when I found out that my Mum was in hospital for nearly the whole pregnancy with me! :/
I am so sorry you have been through that :( I hope this video is helpful.. and I will be talking about things like this more :) xoxo
This might sound insensitive, but please would you make a video about people (especially women) who don't want to have children? Is that an issue, what might cause this 'disorder', or is it just normal - because society tends to think that's freakish and that 'you'll change your mind'? Thank you!
Thank you for this video xx
Could you make a video about when your partner doesn't want children and how to cope with It? Like what to do and how to not let it drag you down the black hole?
well first of all age really matters to this because there are males who have said never babies and have gone as far as to get vasectomies to later undo them
if they are completely serious about this and you know there is no way they will ever come around and they are already in their 40-45 age range then i would say leave them if having children is that important to you
I find it hard to interact with those who are either pregnant or just had a baby. How do you process your own hurts and still find a way to be happy for them?
It’s not always the woman’s fault! Men can be infertile too! I’m super fertile but my husbands infertile
I’m 15 and I feel like I shouldn’t have as much of a issue with finding out I might not be able to have kids
It’s not even like I want to have a kid right now
Can you also do a video on women (and men) who choose not to have children for whatever reason and how to go about it with the outside world that just won't get us? (mine is for many reasons, but mental and physical health are at the top) I am sick of people asking me 'are you married yet? and kids? you have to hurry up' or 'you don't even need a man to have kids, a friend of a friend had a child through a donor, you should too or you can always adopt'. No, I don't, I won't, never. I don't want children (I am too sick, they'll probably be born with that illness or I am simply not maternal and this planet is overpopulated as it is), why is this still taboo in our society?
Hello Kati.
I hear often that it's never too late to have a healthy childhood, but i've also come to believe that on the level of mental and social developement, this is is untrue, as you reach milestones in childhood that are impossible to replicate. Basically, what this means is, if you don't learn something by a certain age, be that speech, motor skills, social skills,self care and understanding of emotions, your developement of those skills will always be stunted and malformed, and you will never reach the same maturity as your peers.
Not only that, but abuse or permenantly damages your brain by forcing your brain to adapt to the abuse.
What is your take on this?
I know I am infertile, because I have Endometriosis, blocking my eggs from getting to my Uterus and make me hurt all the time and I decided to end the toture of the illness(3 Pain Killer Pills every 6 h).
I decided to get one of my most destroyed ovaries out hope to get better after this. But in my current condition I end up with killing myself in the wrong Moment. So I had to take what I have and make it a great time
I keep trying to keep myself busy so I don’t think about the empty place I feel in my heart. But my husband doesn’t even listen to me about this because he has kids from other relationships and won’t even try to understand me
Hi Kati! I'm still relatively new to your sight so I'm not totally certain if this is appropriate but I think I saw on one of your channels that you reserve some days for looking in the comments. So I have this issue that feels kind of troubling for me. I started a new job that has been a lot of mindless tasks. My brain will think around what I'm actually doing and lately it's been really focused on the people who've hurt me in the past. I've tried talking with close friends and family about it, and I've tried techniques like listening to music to help and on some level it does, but not always. Some days it gets so bad I have to stop my work and find something to fully distract me, and even then I'll feel upset and tired. Do you have any tips to help my mind break out of this cycle?
Is waiting with recovery until i move out from home a good idea? My parents are one of my biggest trigger and they wouldnt recieve it good and they would probably threat me like im disabeld. Theres not much chance that I would kill myself before moving out(neither after) so thats not a problem. Please answer for my question. Thanks in advance.
It’s hard when everyone around you seems to get pregnent so easily, and then there’s you trying every month by temping, charting, eating right, exercising and taking all the right vitamin supplements- only to be disappointed by yet another negative pregnancy test but you still squint at it (just in case), or come back to it again after a few hours in hopes you will see a shadow of another line. Only to then start your period and even then you google “period before bfp” or some shit like that. In my case it was found I had blocked Fallopian tubes. What’s your story?
I have depression and anxiety, I don't want to have children because I feel I would be a terrible parent I'm not sure how I should overcome these feelings? Also how do you deal with the guilt of depriving your partner of having a child?
Tracking and egg quality are very important things to consider when trying to get pregnant. And many fertility doctors just treat the symptoms instead of helping women discover their obstacles towards pregnancy. Even many gynecologists to this day have no clue what charting is. You'd be amazed how much you can learn about your reproductive health. Knowledge of our fertility and cycles can be empowering! It doesn't have to be a bad thing that it's not romantic every time, it's just science. Oftentimes, perfectly healthy couples don't get pregnant because they are not doing the deed within that day and half window where the woman is fertile. Or maybe they are, but their are dozens of reasons why their egg quality is poor. 40% of miscarriages are due to poor egg quality (Rebecca Fett). Ladies, I recommend "take charge of your fertility" by Toni Weschler and "it starts with the egg" by Rebecca Fett. If you are struggling with high stress and anxiety and even having the correct information makes it worse, then focusing on your health and ways to reduce stress is the most important thing.
Like always awesome...😍thank you kati 😍👍
I’m in a situation where I have tried to get my type 1 diabetes controlled enough to have a baby. There’s lots of pre planning etc with it. I have put absolutely everything I have into it and still can’t seem to reach the targets. I have a whole bunch of medical teams and a therapist. If I don’t get into target range it puts baby at risk. I can also become very unwell. I feel completely stuck. Type 1 itself doesn’t affect fertility if within reasonable control. I don’t know what to do. Im shattered. It would be selfish to go ahead and try,but it’s what I want more than anything else. How do you cope with ‘doing the right thing’ and not having a child?