I followed the Dr. Ramani method and took a full year off. I wasn't planning on ever dating again and was happy with that.... Then someone literally walked into my life and is slowly changing my mind.
Give yourself no less than 2 YEARS!! YUP 2. The first yr is giving yourself enough time to go thru all the emotions, plot your narcys demise, and then talk yourself out of it. The second yr gives you time to realize what your worth is and what you deserve. Be kind to yourself.❤❤
😊😂I honestly love this comment. I LOVE YAH ( God Of the Living ) but I find myself repenting every other day for these very thoughts. Hey, I'm only human , but I still don't wish any bad on him , his back burner supply, or their kids . Sometimes, my pain & hurt say different, though 💔 I know that we all reap what we sow. I gave it all to the Most High . I've learned my worth, and that's what's more important. I keep in mind that this too shall pass & it will. Trust that they will get theirs 10 fold . In YAHS time , not ours . We need to move forward and stop looking back . 😊
I learned that being alone isn´t bad. When I was young I never wanted to be alone. Now I find peace exactly by being alone (I have my kids so I am not alone in fact)... But I also have to admit if you are married with a narcissist you are alone also. (So there is not really a difference...). It is sad but the truth.
I’ve been separated from a 20 year marriage since 6/28/2023 and divorced since 9/3/2024 and I am honestly afraid to date anyone else because of the trauma I have endured from him.
Referencing Lee’s previous video, I hit a three-peat of narcs back to back to back… I so wish I would have taken time to go back into isolation and heal. Isolation isn’t a long-term solution, but it was necessary to learn more about these dynamics and restructure my mindset. As Lee also said: “walk away at the first violation.” I wish I knew this a month and a half ago. Now I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. The door has always been unlocked and open, but for some reason, I’m unable to walk out.. The mental anguish and physical unrest is pure torture. And I’m doing it to myself. Lord have mercy.
It's been 3 years and I've still not brought myself to think about dating. At this point, I'm 51 and I just don't see the point in ever dating again. I don't think I could ever trust someone again.
I didn't wait, but those dates went nowhere. I just kept messaging these men after the date, with reasons why we weren't compatible. Realizing that i was the problem, I took the time, did some therapy to heal and it's now been 4 + years of just healing and being comfortable with being by myself and rediscovering my happiness. I am currently dating and feeling so overwhelmed by the process
Amen...heal yourself first...❤ b/c i didn't want 2 be alone i dated multiple narcissist...after being married to a narcissist for 32 years..but seeing the red flags early and sending them on their way made me stronger...it takes as long as it takes!
It's crazy because I've been thinking about this lately, but I've also been thinking about him HARD the past week. I think it's because I'm lonely and I started to reminisce. It wasn't always bad in our relationship,and that's what messes me up. I really think I am not ready for anyone else, I definitely need time to work on me before moving on.
It's almost 4 years for me now since I broke up with my ex- narcissist. I don't trust anyone anymore. That individual was a diabolical devil. I only trust and believe God. In Jesus name. Amen 🙏🙏🙏🩸🩸🩸🛐😇✝️🥰
It's so hard. With instant gratification culture, people want to get healing instantly. I waited a year before I dated after my ex-fiance... I thought I was ready and ended up with another narcissist. Now I have to look at me, but even more honestly... because otherwise, I will end up with another one and lose even more years... and for what?
“Instant gratification”, could have an entirely different effect, if it was about simply investing in yourself! Go on trips, celebrate everything you want, go to therapy, enjoy all the things you want, take a class, get a degree, start a business, change careers, etc. The problem, is that we’ve been coerced into thinking that “gratification”, is wrapped up in another human!
I’ve encountered these monsters a few times in my life. 6 months on each before their memory kind of faded. Didn’t care anymore and that’s when you know it’s time.
We only dated for 3 weeks. Yep. She love-bombed, devalued and discarded me within three weeks. Currently in my 4th week of hard no contact. Thought I would be over it by now but I'm still ruminating.
I am celibate until someone shows me respect, loyalty and genuine want and care for me. My narcissistic ex lacked all of those. We were together for 2 months, but the damage and lessons he brought to me I'm both grateful for and angry about. I'm angry with the hurt, but grateful to learn the boundaries I have and toxic signs.
I do t know if there a preset amount of time, but you need to take all the time you need, to understand what about you, helped you to get in as deep as you did, with the narcissist!!!!!!
I was with mine only 5/6months..but he was training me all the time not to love him..the rages..the punches..the lies...all training me to disconnect, so final discard, and Im still not sure who really walked away..but it matters not...he doesn't deserve one more minute of my time, enerrgy or emotion..I am dating again, 2 months since, but taking time..knowing what damn flags to look for, for sure! I was looking for a life partner when i found him...I still want a life partner, so why should he slow that search down, I wasted enough time...that said..the hurt I endured, was in full whallop while I was WITH him,, not when without him, so me healing started sooner than for some, and the short time in which he showed himself of course makes a big difference, so just my situation ansd thoughts...good luck all..we are all here for the same reason..:(
It's been 10 months, and together, 11 years, I'm struggling and really don't want to. He was living with a new supply in 2 months and bought her an engagement ring in the 4th month, I can't even!! #Godknows #myhusband #johnnybennett
How to start again after giving outselves time. I was in a toxic relationship years ago. I said I'm done. I got on with my life, work, family and friends. Before I knew it 7 years had passed by. I finally met someone (was targeted by a narc) and, despite all the red flags, got into a relationship with a narc. A family tragedy had left me wounded and vulnerable. Now, I actually want to be in a relationship I'm not ready to. I bought Nia Renne's book, Intentional Dating and I'm using it to work on myself with purpose this time.
My ex husband was literally the only one that was able to break through to soften my heart only to completely destroy everything about me. He even made sure that my own family didn’t want anything to do with me anymore. I don’t trust anyone anymore because of him.
Yes I'm still in my healing process & I still don't feel comfortable dating. I was talking to a guy the other day & 2 days into chatting he was asking if I wanted to see like certain photos. 😂😂 Red flag right there I just said not interested. Self love & just being on my own right now is just the place for me right now, not rushing into anything.
Its been 1 1/2 year for me. I am attracted to no one im fine with that. Maybe some day but i doubt it.i was married 30 years. Im fine with having friends.
It's been a year and half single, but I'm soo comfortable being single. I don't have the energy or interest in settling down right now. Plus I went back to school and I'm focus on completing that and leveling up my family.
Im never dating again I SWARE this time! After the 4 yrs ended this January I ended up dating 2 other narcissists. And now this narcissist I currently work with and am on my last week of my 2 week notice. CANT WAIT to get out. Only problem is 2 of these narcs are both stalkers and they all know where I live currently
First its time to sit down all alone by yourself and like in my case probably you dont have onlyan issue with a narcistic ex but also in general unhealthy relationships around you. Then ask yourself. Do you still want to be treat in such a way or is it time to erase certain names in friendlist too or hoe to handle family members. Its the time to remind yourself of who you trully are and your worth and your new boundaries. And sometimes you have to erase all names of friends because you realize that they contribute in some sort with an unhealthy attitude towards you. Sometimes new beginnings are necessary. I am alone to ha e nobody around but its the best time. I m curious in future who i will meet and what i want to do. Yeah sometimes it hurts i feel the emotional injuries but i also remind myself how bad i felt to still be surround by unhealthy poeple. When i m ready i m now in the second month of no contact. I probably will have to take time 6months. Why so long? To ground myself first that thr new me is strong❤
I feel really conflicted because i was not in a relationship for 3 years, went on a date here and there, no intimacy. Then i date him for 3-4 months and devalue/discard was the last 3 weeks of the relationship. Was very confusing. I am a bit mad that i know logically i should not date for like half a year. i was working on myself for 3+ years on my own. I recognise the limitation to working on issues on your own but my heart is closed. I have gone on a date - mostly to have a positive experience and in reflection probably for validation that im likable. Who knows. But my heart is closed
And! When do you tell your new love interest what you've been through? You know how they say to "beware of anyone who says their ex is crazy?" Well, what if your ex actually WAS disordered? I shared my experience with the first guy I dated after the narc, and he was turned off, I think. Is it better NOT to tell the new guy what you've experienced?
I waited 6 months, but it was because I felt like a caged animal for years. I got into therapy, and pulled away from him after about 5 months because it was still too early. 6 months went by and he called me back, I told him that I need it to be slow as hell lol We have now been in a relationship for 2 years…
I didn’t date but I did mess around abit after coming back to life. Got me laughing at myself now like damn my ex really ain’t shit, I been missing out this whole damn time 😂
I been single now 21 months since me and ex narc broke up I left him ,he married her 7 months after the break up wow , I have couple men asking me to go out but I’m not ready yet ?
Well if it's a similar mindset to drinking and not never want to drink again I had that moment where I said I was never drinking again and haven't yet and it's been 5 years
Oddly enough I tried to throw myself into a new relationship after I broke up with my Nex, which ended up being a mistake. Since giving it another year, I feel a lot better about being single and am kind of enjoying my own space and time and not having to fight and chase and dance for attention. Go figure
@@amybrehe3480 I never used to want to be alone, but now, especially after the Narcissist I love being alone. The woman who he was cheating with I became friends with and she can't be alone. I keep telling her to just try being single for awhile. She can't. She tells me she has to be with someone.
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"Struggle love is NOT a thing!"
~ Nia Renee at Dalles conference.
Heeeeeeeey
I followed the Dr. Ramani method and took a full year off. I wasn't planning on ever dating again and was happy with that.... Then someone literally walked into my life and is slowly changing my mind.
Congrats to meeting your person.🙏💯
Give yourself no less than 2 YEARS!! YUP 2.
The first yr is giving yourself enough time to go thru all the emotions, plot your narcys demise, and then talk yourself out of it.
The second yr gives you time to realize what your worth is and what you deserve. Be kind to yourself.❤❤
😊😂I honestly love this comment. I LOVE YAH ( God Of the Living ) but I find myself repenting every other day for these very thoughts. Hey, I'm only human , but I still don't wish any bad on him , his back burner supply, or their kids .
Sometimes, my pain & hurt say different, though 💔 I know that we all reap what we sow. I gave it all to the Most High . I've learned my worth, and that's what's more important. I keep in mind that this too shall pass & it will. Trust that they will get theirs 10 fold . In YAHS time , not ours . We need to move forward and stop looking back . 😊
Take Time To Heal A Love Self
🙌🏾🙌🏾
As long as it takes! Get healed for real ❤️🙏🏾😇
I learned that being alone isn´t bad. When I was young I never wanted to be alone. Now I find peace exactly by being alone (I have my kids so I am not alone in fact)... But I also have to admit if you are married with a narcissist you are alone also. (So there is not really a difference...). It is sad but the truth.
Its a fine line between loving your kids and using them as an emotional crutch. Thats called emotional incest.
@@simjam1980 I sure don´t use my kids I take care of them... Because their father vanished in thin air. My kids and I are a good team.
The difference is put freedon
@@Cynthia-ul4uh 🎯
I’ve been separated from a 20 year marriage since 6/28/2023 and divorced since 9/3/2024 and I am honestly afraid to date anyone else because of the trauma I have endured from him.
In the same boat. I trust no one anymore. Can't imagine giving my heart to another ever again. In my mind, they are all the same.💔
Referencing Lee’s previous video, I hit a three-peat of narcs back to back to back… I so wish I would have taken time to go back into isolation and heal. Isolation isn’t a long-term solution, but it was necessary to learn more about these dynamics and restructure my mindset.
As Lee also said: “walk away at the first violation.” I wish I knew this a month and a half ago. Now I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. The door has always been unlocked and open, but for some reason, I’m unable to walk out..
The mental anguish and physical unrest is pure torture. And I’m doing it to myself. Lord have mercy.
it's healing season
Isolation is a basic necessity
It's been 3 years and I've still not brought myself to think about dating. At this point, I'm 51 and I just don't see the point in ever dating again. I don't think I could ever trust someone again.
I didn't wait, but those dates went nowhere. I just kept messaging these men after the date, with reasons why we weren't compatible. Realizing that i was the problem, I took the time, did some therapy to heal and it's now been 4 + years of just healing and being comfortable with being by myself and rediscovering my happiness. I am currently dating and feeling so overwhelmed by the process
After what i experienced, i am ok being by myself.
Amen...heal yourself first...❤ b/c i didn't want 2 be alone i dated multiple narcissist...after being married to a narcissist for 32 years..but seeing the red flags early and sending them on their way made me stronger...it takes as long as it takes!
It's crazy because I've been thinking about this lately, but I've also been thinking about him HARD the past week. I think it's because I'm lonely and I started to reminisce. It wasn't always bad in our relationship,and that's what messes me up. I really think I am not ready for anyone else, I definitely need time to work on me before moving on.
The Houston workshop was AMAZING !
It's been 3 years and I'm still working on my mental health meh
It's almost 4 years for me now since I broke up with my ex- narcissist. I don't trust anyone anymore. That individual was a diabolical devil. I only trust and believe God. In Jesus name. Amen 🙏🙏🙏🩸🩸🩸🛐😇✝️🥰
It's so hard. With instant gratification culture, people want to get healing instantly. I waited a year before I dated after my ex-fiance... I thought I was ready and ended up with another narcissist. Now I have to look at me, but even more honestly... because otherwise, I will end up with another one and lose even more years... and for what?
“Instant gratification”, could have an entirely different effect, if it was about simply investing in yourself! Go on trips, celebrate everything you want, go to therapy, enjoy all the things you want, take a class, get a degree, start a business, change careers, etc. The problem, is that we’ve been coerced into thinking that “gratification”, is wrapped up in another human!
Very good advice. Thank you.
I’ve encountered these monsters a few times in my life. 6 months on each before their memory kind of faded. Didn’t care anymore and that’s when you know it’s time.
I purchased your kids book. Really good for teenagers..
We only dated for 3 weeks. Yep. She love-bombed, devalued and discarded me within three weeks. Currently in my 4th week of hard no contact. Thought I would be over it by now but I'm still ruminating.
I am celibate until someone shows me respect, loyalty and genuine want and care for me. My narcissistic ex lacked all of those. We were together for 2 months, but the damage and lessons he brought to me I'm both grateful for and angry about. I'm angry with the hurt, but grateful to learn the boundaries I have and toxic signs.
I do t know if there a preset amount of time, but you need to take all the time you need, to understand what about you, helped you to get in as deep as you did, with the narcissist!!!!!!
I was with mine only 5/6months..but he was training me all the time not to love him..the rages..the punches..the lies...all training me to disconnect, so final discard, and Im still not sure who really walked away..but it matters not...he doesn't deserve one more minute of my time, enerrgy or emotion..I am dating again, 2 months since, but taking time..knowing what damn flags to look for, for sure! I was looking for a life partner when i found him...I still want a life partner, so why should he slow that search down, I wasted enough time...that said..the hurt I endured, was in full whallop while I was WITH him,, not when without him, so me healing started sooner than for some, and the short time in which he showed himself of course makes a big difference, so just my situation ansd thoughts...good luck all..we are all here for the same reason..:(
50 years 😂😂😂😂
🤭🤭
And I'm 71!🤣🤣🤣
@MentalHealness I've been in isolation now in another country and I feel amazing!!!
My Ex is probably abusing the new person. Better them than me...
Absolutely truth lee ❤🙏 gb you always..YOUR MY INSPIRATIONAL PERSON 😅
🙌🏾🙌🏾
It's been 10 months, and together, 11 years, I'm struggling and really don't want to. He was living with a new supply in 2 months and bought her an engagement ring in the 4th month, I can't even!! #Godknows #myhusband #johnnybennett
Yes 😮always be healing
How to start again after giving outselves time. I was in a toxic relationship years ago. I said I'm done. I got on with my life, work, family and friends. Before I knew it 7 years had passed by.
I finally met someone (was targeted by a narc) and, despite all the red flags, got into a relationship with a narc. A family tragedy had left me wounded and vulnerable.
Now, I actually want to be in a relationship I'm not ready to.
I bought Nia Renne's book, Intentional Dating and I'm using it to work on myself with purpose this time.
My ex husband was literally the only one that was able to break through to soften my heart only to completely destroy everything about me. He even made sure that my own family didn’t want anything to do with me anymore. I don’t trust anyone anymore because of him.
Yes I'm still in my healing process & I still don't feel comfortable dating. I was talking to a guy the other day & 2 days into chatting he was asking if I wanted to see like certain photos. 😂😂 Red flag right there I just said not interested.
Self love & just being on my own right now is just the place for me right now, not rushing into anything.
Its been 1 1/2 year for me. I am attracted to no one im fine with that. Maybe some day but i doubt it.i was married 30 years. Im fine with having friends.
Never! Get a puppy!
😢
@MentalHealness sorry man but puppies don't give you the drama!
It's been a year and half single, but I'm soo comfortable being single. I don't have the energy or interest in settling down right now. Plus I went back to school and I'm focus on completing that and leveling up my family.
Im never dating again I SWARE this time! After the 4 yrs ended this January I ended up dating 2 other narcissists. And now this narcissist I currently work with and am on my last week of my 2 week notice. CANT WAIT to get out. Only problem is 2 of these narcs are both stalkers and they all know where I live currently
Oh...I'm rooting for her
Forever. Never again.
🙌🏾
First its time to sit down all alone by yourself and like in my case probably you dont have onlyan issue with a narcistic ex but also in general unhealthy relationships around you. Then ask yourself. Do you still want to be treat in such a way or is it time to erase certain names in friendlist too or hoe to handle family members. Its the time to remind yourself of who you trully are and your worth and your new boundaries. And sometimes you have to erase all names of friends because you realize that they contribute in some sort with an unhealthy attitude towards you. Sometimes new beginnings are necessary. I am alone to ha e nobody around but its the best time. I m curious in future who i will meet and what i want to do. Yeah sometimes it hurts i feel the emotional injuries but i also remind myself how bad i felt to still be surround by unhealthy poeple. When i m ready i m now in the second month of no contact. I probably will have to take time 6months. Why so long? To ground myself first that thr new me is strong❤
I took a year off to start with. Now it is almost 2 years 😅 I'm getting closer, almost ready.... maybe 😂
😂
I feel really conflicted because i was not in a relationship for 3 years, went on a date here and there, no intimacy. Then i date him for 3-4 months and devalue/discard was the last 3 weeks of the relationship. Was very confusing.
I am a bit mad that i know logically i should not date for like half a year. i was working on myself for 3+ years on my own. I recognise the limitation to working on issues on your own but my heart is closed. I have gone on a date - mostly to have a positive experience and in reflection probably for validation that im likable. Who knows.
But my heart is closed
And! When do you tell your new love interest what you've been through? You know how they say to "beware of anyone who says their ex is crazy?" Well, what if your ex actually WAS disordered? I shared my experience with the first guy I dated after the narc, and he was turned off, I think. Is it better NOT to tell the new guy what you've experienced?
I waited 6 months, but it was because I felt like a caged animal for years.
I got into therapy, and pulled away from him after about 5 months because it was still too early.
6 months went by and he called me back, I told him that I need it to be slow as hell lol We have now been in a relationship for 2 years…
I didn’t date but I did mess around abit after coming back to life. Got me laughing at myself now like damn my ex really ain’t shit, I been missing out this whole damn time 😂
I been single now 21 months since me and ex narc broke up I left him ,he married her 7 months after the break up wow , I have couple men asking me to go out but I’m not ready yet ?
I didn't hear Miami!!
Well if it's a similar mindset to drinking and not never want to drink again I had that moment where I said I was never drinking again and haven't yet and it's been 5 years
I’m open to date again if it happens I’m in a humble space right now
Forever
How long you take to heal is up to you
Do you! 🎉❤🎉❤
Your ghost story 🤣🤣😅😂 could be
😂😂😂
Lee why don't you make a video of why narcissist act like clowns 🤔
You don’t ever again……. 😭
Oddly enough I tried to throw myself into a new relationship after I broke up with my Nex, which ended up being a mistake.
Since giving it another year, I feel a lot better about being single and am kind of enjoying my own space and time and not having to fight and chase and dance for attention.
Go figure
💙 💙 💙 💙
The rest of my life 🙄
😫
Some people can't be alone.
😢
Right, the narcissist
Right @@joanbennett7371
@whiterobin01 I agree. I can't be alone either. And I'm not the Narc.
@@amybrehe3480 I never used to want to be alone, but now, especially after the Narcissist I love being alone. The woman who he was cheating with I became friends with and she can't be alone. I keep telling her to just try being single for awhile. She can't. She tells me she has to be with someone.