Thats such a thought provoking question: when I'm alone amongst strangers and unfamiliar places (or slightly familiar places ex: NYC), I'm nowhere near as self-doubting as I am when I'm with the people that know me extremely well.
Monique Rowe Extremely envious of this. I'm the opposite. Not because I'm afraid of being judged by strangers, but because if I'm alone I don't think anyone is paying attention to me at all and I'm braver with an audience.
How are you braver with an audience? I like that no one is paying attention to me extensively. I don't mind if they do but there's something really fun and nice in being left to your own devices and doing your own thing. Think for me it has to do with the fact that the people in my life have always been able to go out in the world and be fine and not be told million times what to watch out for and I'm unsure if I'm able to do that. But when I'm traveling alone, I realize I'm just as self aware and have that same common sense
I guess it's because there's no consequence. If you make an idiot out of yourself in front of your friends, you can't just leave and never contact them again. But with strangers, you don't have to worry at all. You can just turn around and go somewhere else. Also, with your friends, you actually have to keep your behaviour pretty consitent, because they will get sick of you if you'll act like crazy all the time and they won't be able to keep up with you. With strangers, you can create any version of yourself as you wish. I guess it's just liberating.
Monique Rowe It's hard to explain because it's not logical at all. I have no fear of the reaction of others. I feel no need to be a certain way or consistent in the eyes of anyone. I feel like I'm the author of my own life and I am whatever character I decide to be/ create and mostly the character I want to be is adventurous and free. But when no one is watching I lose the push, the motivation to take chances and overcome natural shyness or reluctance. Good example, I'm usually terrified of haunted houses, or jump scare filled mazes. No matter what I tell myself I get caught up in the tension and end up staring at my feet. But I went to one with my friend and his ten year old brother and suddenly I was fine. It was just fun, just decorations and actors. Because there was someone to be brave for it just happened all by itself. So it's kinda like that just in many different scenarios.
So weird to think about because I am the exact opposite. Alone in unfamiliar social situations I become hyperaware of everything and forget how to act like a normal human & that "liberating" feeling causes me so much anxiety lol (How do I act like the person I want to be????). When I'm with friends I have someone to lean on & interact with and I'm not afraid of making an idiot out of myself bc they know me and they know that I'm not an idiot. I guess I'm just distracted from the terror of existing in a public space lol.
I'm legit on a solo vacation in the countryside in an adorable Airbnb as I watch this- can HIGHLY recommend it. I love going away with friends, but most of us are at a point in our lives right now where people can't get the same time off work, some can't afford it at all, some have long-term partners they want to go away with instead etc etc. Being able to take a break without having to wrangle everyone together is often much much easier.
+Rowan Ellis how exciting!! I’m sure I’ll have a good time, today I ran some last second errands to get some ski pants because?? Apparently?? It’s cold there?? Just kidding I knew it was cold but I didn’t realize HOW cold till I googled it last night haha
I’ve gone to a concert alone before. I felt weird about it at first, but once I was there I realized nobody cared or noticed and I was able to just enjoy it. It was strangely liberating
I've travelled to paris on my own in 2016. I was 19, alone and I didn't know how to say anything in french at all. I decided to go ice staking on eiffel tower and I have no idea how to ice skate. There, a french girl was gracefully killing it, dancing all over the place and I couldn't even let go of the bars that kept me from falling. She, then, took my hand and guided me through the rink, teaching me, dancing with me. She made me let go of the bars that I was scared to let go. She didn't speak a word in english and I didn't speak french. Until now, I don't know her name and I have no idea what she was telling me, but it was the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me. Go travel by yourselves. Amazing things will happen.
1) Tessa, your makeup looks SO BEAUTIFUL here. I can't get over how good your eyebrows are. 2) I think solo travel is wonderful! I tend to do a lot of things on my own already but I spent a week alone in London and it was a magical experience. I hope Finland is the same for you!
I definitely recommend solo travel. I love the freedom that I have. I can do what I want or not do something. I can change my plans quickly. I learn so much about the place where I am and about myself. I have learned what I'm good at, what I like to do and what makes me comfortable and uncomfortable. Also I live in Finland so ask if you have any questions
You have absolutely nothing to worry about Tessa! I live on a tinyyy island called Malta and last summer I decided that I wanted to visit Russia (St. Petersburg to be exact) because I'm just so obsessed with Russian classical composers and so wanted to be where they once lived. Unfortunately nobody wanted to join me however, and the mere idea of going to Russia alone simply terrified me. Anyway long story short, I ended up going by myself and I had a marvellous time! I could do whatever I wanted at my own pace and also go wherever I wanted to without needing anyone's approval. To conclude (sorry for such a long comment): PLEASE DO GO TO FINLAND AND HAVE A GREAT TIME!!!! I'M SURE THAT IT WILL BE AMAZING 💙
the same reasons leena made for solo travel are the same reasons I go to the movies by myself a lot. I get to watch what I want, when I want, get there as early/stay as late as I want, and sit wherever I want! It's beautiful
I traveled through Europe alone this summer, and there were parts of it I loved and parts of it that could have been improved by having someone else there. Being able to do things like take an impromptu train to Versailles and wander the gardens and read a book under a tree instead of touring the inside can be incredibly liberating and fun. On the other hand, not being able to experience places with others has sort of done a weird thing to my memory, where it doesn't feel like I've done as much when I've gone alone than it does when I'm with others. I think part of that is that joint storytelling while it's happening-- saying things like "this ice cream is incredible" or "wow they don't have this back home"-- things that fuel your own narrative. While I'd recommend it for brief stretches, and I'd make the most of any opportunity I get to travel alone, a great travel companion can't be beat.
I am only 16 years old, but I have been traveling Asia by myself and it has been absolutely terrifying, but I love it. I am a person who is always worried and anxious about everything that could go wrong, so this experience has forced me to face my fears, become more independent, and develop my own character and personality. Being in a country where you know nobody is so freeing because you can be whoever you want to be. I have learned to not worry so much because I probably won't see most of these people ever again. It's also really great meeting all sorts of interesting people, as you said. It reminds you that there are 7 billion ways that the world is currently being perceived, and seeing someone else's perspective expands your own. You also form a weird connection with other solo-travelers from around the world, whether that is in the countries you go to or through social media.
You can always nostalgically share your experiences with us! I suppose I'll speak for myself to be safe though: I may not have been there, but 1. I'm happy for you no matter what you're doing or who else gets to be there, and 2. You sharing your experiences here will inspire others to share their stories. Whether you interact or just start the conversation is up to you, but what I'm trying to say is that I support you and please don't feel like there's nobody to recount the fun to. I know it's not the same, but it's the best suggestion I've got.
That's awesome of you. I admire your willingness to admit that you're supporting them, especially in the way that you have. Your comment speaks of your respect for others and your willingness to be someone that they can think of being their cheerleader or pep squad that is getting them out of a rut that they might find themselves in. Your hope for the good of others is beautiful. Keep on being you...please by all means. You may n ot always get this kind of recognition but I was lucky enough to stumble across these kind words and thought I'd let you know - awesome job! Keep on shining!
I agree with both of you! I’m the same in the context of, feeling more ‘outgoing’ when I’m not around other people I know because as you said you can try something new or try be confident and if anything goes wrong no one is there to judge you. It is nice to experience things with people, but there’s a lot of moments where I’ve had good experiences that are tainted by the current relationship with said person, that can’t happen when I’m alone. I enjoy going to concerts by myself because there’s no pressure of conversation, no feeling too awkward to get over excited and dance like a loon. No pressure of feeling annoying if I have to use the bathroom or move further back halfway through the set. I can dance and sing my heart out or cry or just close my eyes and take it in and the only people who can pass judgment are strangers who I’ll never see again and will’ve forgotten me by the next day. Traveling is the exact same. The anxiety is still there but you’re free to live however you want and I think that’s a nice thing to be able to do when you’re in a new, beautiful place, you can explore for how ever long you want and wherever you want. Enjoy! You’re gonna have a great time!
Okay this is going to sound very dramatic but I think my solo travels might have saved my life. I used to be such an angsty person until a went on some trips on my own to the other side of the world and I met incredibly interesting people and saw some amazing places. Ever since I dont care as much. Maybe because of what tessa just said about you having the opportunity to change your personality if you want. It's almost like I reinvented myself on those trips. 100% would recommend!
I'm so jealous of what you said! That you're braver alone. I WISH I was. I've done a lot of solo travel and I'm fine with it, but my only issue is that I'm braver with other people. With an audience I have no issues rising to any occasion. I'm totally comfortable talking to strangers with a friend by my side, even if they are asleep or not in the room at the moment. But alone I suddenly become shy, social anxiety panic attack shy. I freeze up and can't talk to strangers or break rules or explore. I still don't know what it is, because if I'm at a party and my friends are inside I and I'm outside I can chat with strangers. If I came alone I can't talk with anyone unless they approach me first. So traveling, especially to foreign countries where I don't speak the language, is fun with other people. Getting lost or trying to guess what a sign says, or ordering food is just funny. But alone these moments of confusion can cause so much anxiety I can't leave the hotel room. Yet I still do it, travel alone, a lot, because I never want to have to wait on other people to live my life and no matter what I've never regretted it for a second. Especially as you get older, people will be less and less available to match their schedules with yours, so knowing how to do it and have fun is a must in my opinion.
I'm currently solo traveling trough Australia and Bali and I'm a huge introvert. And even though I'm always staying in youth hostels with 3 or more people in my room I barely ever talk to anyone. Not because i don't want to but because I'm shy and have social anxiety and scared shitless of other people. I'm 6 months into my incredibly lonely journey and it has been great. I've felt like shit a lot and had some very very low moments of self-hate because my goal of this trip was to go out there and meet new people and become an extroverted, easygoing, bubbly, fun person... But I'm not and I never will be. And that's okay. And I'm learning to not let my anxiety hold me back from exploring the world. So even though I'm not having the typical gap-year backpacker party experience, doesn't mean I'm having an amazing time in solitude :) To all introverted, shy people with a whole bunch of anxiety: go travel, it's fun! Even on your own!
I admire your bravery and your ability to recognize that we are who we are and the best way to deal with that is to accept ourselves for who we are. I'm happy for you that you've been able to approach this understanding through your willingness to put yourself out there. We all have different ways of being, different genetics and upbringing which helps form who we are but in order to have an actual rainbow we need all the colors in the spectrum to appreciate the direction that we can find a leprechaun's pot of gold... or maybe some lucky charms. Anyways, good job on being who you are and helping promote others to get out there as well. You're surely a positive influence on many more people than you would even be aware of. Keep up the awesome work and create a wide array of experiences and lessons that is the very fabric of your existence- fashion a framed canvas to display your existence and positivity into the world through both verbal and non-verbal actions.
I miss these pillow talks. They're so intimate and introspective and I just love watching them. I envy how well you know yourself, Tessa. I mean, I know myself well enough, but you speak so confidently and self-assuredly about yourself and it's just really cool and something for me to strive for. Can't wait to see more pillow talks (and hear more music!) in the future!
Traveling solo is very very rewarding. You learn so much about yourself as you experience a new culture. I went to Tokyo alone back in 2017 and it's the best decision I've ever done in my travels. I'm excited to do it again!
I totally feel you with what you said about feeling more shy when you are with people you know! When I meet new people I feel like I can reinvent myself, or show a part of me that I never show
I love love LOVE and relate to what you said about interacting with people without people you’re familiar with. It’s so true and I love meeting new people... by myself
Today I properly **listened** to the lyrics from your halloway ep for the first time and woW i already loved those songs, but I didn’t realise how much I connect with and relate to the lyrics ?? so ty for making music that reflects my thoughts I guess
Tessa Violet alsooo super super hoping you perform in the uk at some point in the future, bc until recently, I was never allowed to go to concerts sO I’ve missed whenever you have toured here ahhh. &re this video, it’s made me want to solo travel to places in Europe even more, but I’m 17 so my parents don’t want me out of the country on my own. I can’t wait to experience countries in the alternative perspective of only having my own company, whenever I do get the chance
when you do get that chance, you will soak it up and thoroughly enjoy it. I've been lucky that I've travelled with family but also have lived in places alone and I have a protective family who also worry more than needed so I know where you're coming from.
Monique Rowe I can’t wait, honestly. Before this summer, I never had any interest in travelling, but over the past 5 months I’ve developed such a craving for it. It frustrates me so much that I have earned and put aside enough money to afford it, yet persuading my family to agree to it is the bigger feat. Though I guess there’s not too much they can do to stop me, once I’m 18 and moved out for uni ahah
Yeah go for it! I mean as always be aware of surroundings and be smart but you are going to have such a great time when you do travel. Where is the first place you want to visit?
I'm kind of the opposite in terms of when I'm shyer. I'm less shy the more I know the people around me. My main worry about solo traveling is that I won't do the things I really want to do without my friends there to give me a little push. I'm such a scared person that I just end up worrying, but my friends make me feel safe and are able to push me. Those are the times I've had the most fun. I also feel eyes on me if I'm by myself. Logically I know that people aren't paying attention to whether I'm alone or not, but in the moment I just feel the eyes and it makes it very difficult to think about it logically. I am of course also worried about being endlessly lonely as I'm very shy around people I don't know. I pretty much never want to talk to people unless I know them, which of course makes no sense because how would I ever get to know anyone, but that's still feeling that takes over in those situations. I'm going on a trip to Finland next year to visit my penpal, and realized I could use the trip to also visit London or Paris or another place, and I want to do it, but I also have these worries racing through my head.
Travelling alone is the best! The first time I did it I had a bit of a panic attach and didn't leave my hotel room for three days but after I got over that I really enjoyed not just the freedom of destination but also the freedom of timing. When you're travelling with people, there always seems to be a sense of urgency. A feeling of we should be DOING something. When you're alone you can just stop. Sit in parks. Finish a meal but don't rush off. Just sip a coffee and stare out the window. Walk the streets to your next destination but don't hurry. My favourite memories from trips are rarely the landmarks . I enjoy those but my fondest memories are the small places and accidental finds that happen when you're just going with the flow.
Nearly all my travel as an adult has been done on my own. Travelling with people can be great, but travelling solo is definitely worth doing. There's a lot of time spent in silence, with just your own thoughts, but you're deciding where to go and what to look at and what to think about, which is such a great and important experience. I went to Paris by myself for a week this past summer (and I don't speak French beyond necessary phrases to get by, so I rarely spoke to anyone), and it was wonderful. Creatively, I had more ideas than I had the whole summer (that past year, probably), and learned more things about myself. I walked all over the city, where with others I might have taken the metro more often, and got to see so much.
I agree with Tessa's commentary about bravery. I actually feel like this is why I'm a much fresher, confident and successful person now I'm living and studying in a different country, I really needed that break from people's expectations/ perceptions of me in my hometown.
My advice for solo travel is to be honest with yourself about your feelings and what you're experiencing. I personally hated traveling alone (mainly because I'm an anxious person and generally strangers were aggressive toward me but anyway) no one I talked to would sympathize or understand not liking it. People would look at me like I was crazy when I said I didn't have a good time but I guess that's because they're used to people saying "Oh my god it was beautiful, the culture was amazing, the food etc etc." I felt like there was something wrong with me that I wasn't liking any of these experiences so I basically started lying to myself and others that I had a good time which was a really bad idea and made me more lonely somehow. It's sort of like you're not allowed to tell people you had a bad time which is ridiculous, you're allowed to have your own thoughts and feelings. Anyway, mini rant over, my point is just because other people love doing something it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you for not loving it too. Whatever happens you'll have a better understanding of what you like and what you want ^^ Hope you have a safe trip and good experiences
I'm so glad you brought up the fact that you're more brave around people that you don't know! I have that exact thing with my anxiety! I'm an actress, and I find that I get WAY more nervous performing in front of people I know, as opposed to strangers. I think, for me and maybe it's the same for you Tessa, that it's because I care so much about the people who know me's opinion of me. I care about what my friends think of my behavior and my actions, but with complete strangers, I don't care as much because I'll never see them again. I want my friends to love my performances, but if a complete stranger doesn't, I don't mind as much.
I traveled to the UK by myself and found it really liberating and fun. I visited friends and wandered where I wanted to wander, when I wanted to wander. It's nice not having to worry about what someone else wants to do, occasionally. :)
Surely allows you to have an understanding of what we might want in life without all the distractions and demands that are thrown about without much concern for the toll it takes.
i don't know why i stopped watching these type of videos for a while, but it definitely felt soul-mending and like I could breathe again. thank you for your vids, your music and all that you put out into the world Tessa, my confused brain really needs them
what Leena said is so true. if i travel with other people the experience and memories inevitably involve them. when i travel alone i don't have a narrative, feel displaced and lost all in a good way
I have never solo traveled before, but I really like what you said about being around people that know you and noticing when you act different. I feel like I want to do different things and maybe reinvent myself sometimes, but feel like I can’t for fear of the people I am with judging me for acting out from my normal behaviour.
Behaviors and actions can always be seen as entertaining an idea without actually accepting it. In a way it's kind of like vicariously living the experience through a persona that you've manifested in order to experiment and get a better view of the options that are out there. Wouldn't go to a car lot and just buy the first one you saw would ya? Check out the lot, there's plenty of rides out there and the only way to get in that vehicle is to hop in. Enjoy the ride.
Solo travel is a really wonderful experience for a little introspection. You get to see who you are when you're not trying to meet the expectations of any of the people in your life. It's also a lot of fun and a great opportunity to meet people from around the world. You'll have an amazing time Tessa!
There is so much freedom in solo travel not just in choices of where to go or what to do but in who you are. It’s liberating to think every person you meet, every interaction you have is a fresh slate. You can ‘be’ the best you to these people. You can be the person they remember about their trip. I think it’s also important not to blame yourself for bad days on the road. Ridiculous things happen, take it as it comes. Enjoy the imperfect moments.
Hey Tessa. Definitely give it a go - much more exciting to go somewhere new on your own. Freedom to explore new places without having to make plans with anyone else. If you're having trouble deciding where to go in the future, then an easy way of deciding is to write your destinations on slips of paper and put them in a pot, have someone else pick one out for you. I've also found good hotel and BnB deals just by having a long weekend away - you can still get sooo much done in three days!
I really agree with the things Leena said and I'm glad you're discussing this! I'm nineteen years old and I really like doing things on my own. Don't get my wrong, I love hanging around with friends etc but I feel like I can enjoy those moments much more when I also take time to be alone, just to get some air and to get back to myself. This summer I really wanted to treat myself and do something on my own so I went to Thailand and Vietnam without any company. It was the most empowering thing ever. I think so much more straight being alone, knowing no one can judge me and by that can't make a mistake. I can't let anything be done by someone else so I need to take all responsibility and I am much more living in the moment. And also I'm so much less afraid or embarrassed by things and could handle certain situations better, for example I didn't get tired quick in a big crowd like usually since I knew I could leave the situation every time I wanted to. Of course, the next thing for me is to learn to be all those things also when I am with others but it still feels so great that I know that I can always depend on my self when needed. I really suggest everyone do something for themselves one time, it doesn't has to be this far and it can be something small like going to an event by yourself. Ofc I don't want to sugarcoat things since there can be downsides by traveling alone this far without any big experience, so of course it can suck sometimes and you must be aware of your choices, so you really should go for a trip you feel most comfortable with. But hey, you're the one choosing so you can go to the exact place that you think is right for you. I wished I was a native English speaker so I could have said the things I wanted to say better but I did my best hahaha x
I like the idea of solo travel. I've never been on a big trip by myself but I've made day trips to cities on my own and you really have to be your own hype man. You have to be the one to convince yourself that what you're doing is exciting and make the most of it. When I lived in London last year my friends and I wanted to see Brighton but I had work when they wanted to go, so I ended up having to go alone. And it was fine! I spent 8 hours in Brighton by myself, walking around the shops, walking the beach, going through the museum, sitting in this cozy little coffee shop. It was a good trip. The only downside is that I was responsible for making the bus on time since I had no one with me to keep track of the time for me. I'm the type of person who likes being early to being early so that was a bit nerve-wracking. But I don't regret it. Even though it was just a day trip I'm glad I have that experience. I'm moving back to London in January and I'm hoping to go on a longer trip somewhere. I'm thinkin Iceland :)
“There’s no one around to say ‘oh, you’re acting different.’” YES, AMAGAD. I’ve never heard anyone else except me talk about that! 😃 I’m seeing you on tour in Louisville and super excited 😊
Loved this video! Something that quiets my mind when solo-travelling is knowing I can just go to my room if I feel uncomfortable and no one can tell me I'm wasting my time there, and having that makes me bolder. Also, not trying to have a self-revelation! Because that's mentally tiring, and the focus is best kept at the inmediate experience. You'll have a great trip :)
I've done a lot of solo travel (I'm 28) and I agree with Leena - it's whatever you want it to be, literally. For me, it's wonderful. You discover exactly how capable and independent you are when it's just you. You come across a problem and no one else is there, so you have to solve it for yourself. Solo travel is incredibly liberating and empowering that way. Also, when you're alone you're far more approachable than you would be otherwise. People will feel more inclined to speak with and interact with you. You can go anywhere alone, but you will never have to keep being alone if you decide you want company because I guarantee people will approach you with questions, you'll be invited along to parties and bars, and people will want to hang out with you. I'm so excited for you! Definitely learn some Finnish if you can - always a strong start to speak even a few words of the country's language and lead with that. People love when you try, even if you're terrible; it starts the interaction off positively and respectfully. I'm around if you have any questions about doing solo travel as a woman! Have a blast! :-D P.S. - Totally going to come see you play when you come through my city (Austin)!
I've never truly traveled to a place alone before (I've flown/driven alone but always to visit someone), but I feel like going to local pubs/bars/restaurants could be a really cool way to meet people and swap stories. It also just sounds super romantic if you met the love of your life at a random pub in a new country, but all of that aside, you may find some good company.
As someone that works in the tourism industry, whenever i see people visiting on their own, i find them so inspiring and strong, but i do notice their anxiety or their sort of uncomfortableness when i ask them "just for one" especially if it is their first time traveling alone but i dont know, i wish i could be like them and travel on my own someday
there's also something special about havin sonething just for yourself. i went on a solotrip to Norway a couple years ago, to see whales. and i know it would have been a nice experience to have with someone, but it also kind of feels magical that it's just mine. i can share it with people sure, but no one knows how tuly amazing it was to be surrounded by those mountains and orcas and humpback whales in that moment. that belongs to me. i hope you have great solo travel experience here in finland. people here are quiet and somewhat reserved but also friendly and kind.
I'm so happy doing things by myself! I've got amazing friends that I chill with a lot, but my adventures out in the city by myself become lasting memories just as much as my adventures with my friends. I like being with my thoughts.
As an ambivert stay at home mom, a solo trip sounds like HEAVEN. Can I vicariously experience this solitude with you? You don't even have to talk to the camera. Mood music and time lapses with your back to the lens would be perfect, lol. (Totally a mom, telling you what to do on YOUR vacation. Ignore me. 😅)
Solo travel is honestly the bEST. I have spent the last two summers abroad in Germany, mostly on my own. I do have friends and family that I visit when I'm there but usually I'm living with strangers or completely by myself in a hostel and it's my ideal lifestyle honestly. I prefer traveling by myself because I'm always on my own itinerary and the quality time I have with myself alone abroad is the best thing ever. So much more fulfilling than when I spend time alone in my home country. I hope you had an awesome time in Finland!!
I'm going away in late January and I am SO GLAD I watched this video. I'm only just getting hyped now, and it's really reassuring to hear my fears reflected and thought through!
I love traveling by myself. I feel like you get to experience a place differently when you're alone, and that it's a lot easier to seem like a tourist when you're with someone else or in a group. It's easier for me to take in and process a new place when I'm solo.
The thing you said about having to verbalize whatever you're experiencing when you're with someone is very interesting. And I agree, but I'd also like to add that sometimes you travel with people you DONT have to do that with. You can just look at each other and not say anything and be like, "yeah, i know." I was lucky enough to travel with my best friend recently and that was exactly how it was haha. And I also very much agree with being braver on my own! For me it's kind of related to the fact that I can tell myself I'm never going to see any of these people ever again and that lowers my anxiety by MILES because I'm less worried about embarrassing myself. At best they'll remember me as the weird foreign girl who did that bold thing once. And that's pretty good.
I took my first solo trip a month into 17 and it was such a life changing experience. You can visit what you want when you want and it's so much easier to meet new people on your own.
I've travelled quite a bit myself and it is awesome! Go to places, talk to people, take pictures, do things. I'd recommend not going to crowded places where you can't talk to people though, like places that are too touristy. Sometimes the loneliness will hit me there
I went alone to Japan (from Poland) and it was great :P I liked that I had no one to depend on and I was the one saying 'ok I have to wake up now, cos later I won't manage to do everything that I want"
Aw! I totally get what you're going through about the solo traveling. My first experience of that was after a semester of studying in the US. You just have endless amount of freedom and it's amazing. Like, when I was in LA during my solo trip I randomly saw that you were having a living room concert, which I went to last minute - I mean how great was that! My advice would be to allow for spontaneity and not plan out every single minute of the day. For me, my best experiences have come from being spontaneous. Since I've been to both Berlin and Paris on my own and I still love telling stories from those trips even though none of my friends were with me. Enjoy yourself and I'm sure you will have a great time!
It's so good to see Tessa again!! Also, it's nice to go places on your own because you get to choose every activity, every path, without consulting with anyone! It's super fun :)
I'm hella extroverted and I think the thing holding me back is scared of getting lonely, but I'm starting to be more emotionally independent and solo travels is definitely on my to do list, awesome lil vid guys :)
I think the thing that surprised me the most when i was on a solo holiday earlier this year (my first) was how much more patient I was. I was quite as frustrated with crowds or lines or planning as I was when I had other people with me. I never had to wait for things I didnt really want to do. If i was in line, if i was on a train, if i was in a crowd, it was because i chose to be. There is a loneliness there, but its an easier loneliness than any other i have experienced. There is a definite end date to it, for one.
I also love traveling alone! Hostels are amazing places! So are tours! Most people are really friendly, especially to travelers. And other travelers are generally very friendly too. I want to backpack for a year by myself. Pineapple! Be brave! Travel Safe!
Solo travel is the BEST. I’ve been to Copenhagen and NYC by myself and honestly I remember more about those trips than any I’ve been on with friends; Leena’s so right in that you spend your time just experiencing and absorbing everything around you instead of worrying if other people are having a good time with you. PLUS you can do whatever you want. You wanna walk round an art gallery for six hours? COOL! See eight gazillion shows? Go for it (if ur funds allow lol I’m still recovering from that one) SOME TIPS THO: - bring a journal and just document how you feel and what you experience and the things you get up to - remember to take pictures (it’s easy to forget espesh if you’re used to other people taking the photos on holiday) - talk to people if you want to. don’t if you don’t want to. it’s perfectly acceptable to be alone and silent and spend some time with yourself. - laugh at your mistakes. don’t get stressed out if you do something wrong or get lost, because you will and it’s ok. - take advantage of the fact you will blend in. being alone makes you look like a local (to an extent). it’s kinda nice to feel invisible sometimes. You’ll have the best time ever and I hope you’ll tell us all about it!! ♥️
This past summer I traveled to London by myself, and it was a lot of fun. The best part of it for me was not having to worry about what others wanted to do. I could go through the stores and museums and things at the pace I wanted, go where I wanted to eat; and didn’t have to consider what anyone else would want to see or do.
Two of my favourite youtubers collab yay! Solo travel is amazing - I agree with Leena, being able to go where you want to go is great. Make sure to book hostels that aren't crap (been there done that, the cheapest hostel is not the most fun hostel) and the good ones have nice living room areas where you can have interesting conversations with people from all over the world! You won't be alone in a hostel, I tell you, you'll meet friends in no time ;) Also, I like to take a little notebook with me to document my experiences&thoughts. Nostalgia sharing with your diary I guess? Haha. Have fun on your trip Tessa, you'll be fine! :)
I love travel! I have always wanted to go solo traveling but haven't gotten the chance yet. But I am different when I do things on my own verses when I'm with people
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE SO MUCH FRICKING FUN, TESSA! it obviously does have disadvantages, too, to go alone. but so many advantages, too! what was said is so much true - maybe it doesn't seem so "worthyfull" atm, but doing decisions in this kind of a thing on your own and for your own self is just...gold.
this was such a good video!! i've kind of been thinking about going to london next summer (mostly to see the musical "fun home" and to visit the harry potter world and forbidden planet.. so like.. a total nerd trip lol) by myself but i've never travelled by myself so i'm pretty scared.. and i've tried to talk some of my friends into joining me but i don't think they will.. but this video made me actually seriously consider going alone!! and made me kind of excited at the thought! so thank you!! maybe i should start looking into plane tickets right now....?
Timing, watching this after planing my first weekend trip alone. Would love to hear from you after you visited Finnland how it went. Also super happy to see your face and hear your voice again :)
This video comes at the perfect time for me! I'm currently considering going to ireland for a few weeks on my own next year. So this is perfect thank you so much
Went to Paris this year by myself. It was amazing. I didn't stop exploring. Now I feel like I can go again after a couple of years with friends and I will get a completely new and different experience. So it's like you can visit the same place for the first time twice. Both experiences are great in different ways.
I completely relate to being a little more outgoing when I'm on my own rather than when I'm with other people I know. I used to think that's weird and that I am not my own person when I'm with others. But then I figured its okay. and now I know others feel this too.
I'm going to be interning in Paris after Christmas and will be living by myself for six months and I'm SO EXCITED because tbh I am just done with people and flatmate drama. I'm also looking forward to exploring the city by myself and not having to cater to anyone else! I agree with Leena, while I haven't "holidayed by myself" before I've done day trips, and the best thing is being able to do exactly what you want without having to justify it to anyone else.
I'm 20 now and I've been solo traveling since I was 16. Partly because I wanted to and partly because my best friends are quite introverted and like to visited places they know instead of exploring. I always find traveling with people highly stressful and in those times where we are forced to sit on top of each other in such a compressed timespan, I always feel quite low on confidence cause I either act up to much or stay to much in the shadows. Traveling alone has been wonderful, you meet so many great people! I always look for poetry open mic in towns I visit and perform there and meet the local community and it's sosososo awesome. So far I've done that in London, Berlin and in the countryside in Ireland (I'm from Munich). Writing also flows so well when traveling, at least for me. Would recommend!
Solo traveling is the best thing ever. You get to do EVERYTHING on your own terms, which is awesome! And no one knows who you are which , for me, is so freeing :) But also, it amazed me how many human interactions I actually got to experience during the day: whether it’s a nice waiter or somebody who comes up to you to ask you if you would want them to take a picture for you, you’ll find out how nice strangers can be. Also, you’ll probably get the chance to meet new people and make friends, and maybe stay with them throughout the travel. It’s up to you if you’d prefer to do things more on your own or would like to join a group :)
i always travel alone and when i don't i usually find it much more exhausting...then again, it can be really intimidating and it's super scary when u get lost lol but apart from that i just love it...u get to do everything at your own pace and your own budget and you can also learn a lot about yourself etc ALSO as a creative (and maybe hyper sensitive) person it's really cool to take everything in and express it through art OR if art id your job u also have the freedom to take a break from it OR just create for your own sake OK HOPE YOU'LL ENJOY YOUR SOLO TRIP (make sure to have a fun playlist with u to listen to)
You should come to Estonia for a day while you're in Finland. It's only a two hour ferry ride away from Helsinki and there's a really adorable cat cafe in Tallinn and a gorgeous old town. Also I will be there so that makes everything better
i solo traveled for the first time this summer for my 20th bday. i packed off to london just to get out of ireland for a few days. it was definitely satisfying being able to plan out exactly what i wanted to do. for the most part i didn't really notice that i was alone. the only time it kind of got to me was finding places to eat. i stuck to coffee shops and fast food cause i feel like it's more normal to be alone in those kind of places which is stupid really. mostly though there's kind of a sense of pride for having done it, not missing any of my flights or trains and only getting (slightly) lost twice. usually i rely quite heavily on those around me to organise things and know what they're doing so i think the experience was good for me.
I just spent Thanksgiving, the most family/people-oriented American holiday I think, by myself in Montréal. I stayed in a hostel in the middle of the city. I only brought my phone, my notebook, and books to read to keep me company while I wandered the city alone for 4 days. I didn't really talk to anyone in the room I stayed in, but I also went for the cheapest room possible, so it was me and 8 young men in a room with 5 three-level bunk beds and it was an Experience. It was very cold in Canada, given that is was nearly December, but I loved it. I moved to a new city with strangers to start a new job in August. It has been awesome, but my job is really time consuming, so this trip was the first time I had been alone with my thoughts without other things pressing on my mind since August. It was terrifying to have my brain just say "hey you know all those things you have been waiting to think about until you have time? HERE THEY ARE!" But it was also very important that I actually took that time to address them in a context where I was alone, with no one answer to but me, and where I was self-sufficient and therefore feeling more confident in myself than usual. I love traveling alone, and I want to do it more often.
Thats such a thought provoking question: when I'm alone amongst strangers and unfamiliar places (or slightly familiar places ex: NYC), I'm nowhere near as self-doubting as I am when I'm with the people that know me extremely well.
Monique Rowe Extremely envious of this. I'm the opposite. Not because I'm afraid of being judged by strangers, but because if I'm alone I don't think anyone is paying attention to me at all and I'm braver with an audience.
How are you braver with an audience? I like that no one is paying attention to me extensively. I don't mind if they do but there's something really fun and nice in being left to your own devices and doing your own thing. Think for me it has to do with the fact that the people in my life have always been able to go out in the world and be fine and not be told million times what to watch out for and I'm unsure if I'm able to do that. But when I'm traveling alone, I realize I'm just as self aware and have that same common sense
I guess it's because there's no consequence. If you make an idiot out of yourself in front of your friends, you can't just leave and never contact them again. But with strangers, you don't have to worry at all. You can just turn around and go somewhere else.
Also, with your friends, you actually have to keep your behaviour pretty consitent, because they will get sick of you if you'll act like crazy all the time and they won't be able to keep up with you. With strangers, you can create any version of yourself as you wish.
I guess it's just liberating.
Monique Rowe It's hard to explain because it's not logical at all. I have no fear of the reaction of others. I feel no need to be a certain way or consistent in the eyes of anyone. I feel like I'm the author of my own life and I am whatever character I decide to be/ create and mostly the character I want to be is adventurous and free. But when no one is watching I lose the push, the motivation to take chances and overcome natural shyness or reluctance. Good example, I'm usually terrified of haunted houses, or jump scare filled mazes. No matter what I tell myself I get caught up in the tension and end up staring at my feet. But I went to one with my friend and his ten year old brother and suddenly I was fine. It was just fun, just decorations and actors. Because there was someone to be brave for it just happened all by itself. So it's kinda like that just in many different scenarios.
So weird to think about because I am the exact opposite. Alone in unfamiliar social situations I become hyperaware of everything and forget how to act like a normal human & that "liberating" feeling causes me so much anxiety lol (How do I act like the person I want to be????). When I'm with friends I have someone to lean on & interact with and I'm not afraid of making an idiot out of myself bc they know me and they know that I'm not an idiot. I guess I'm just distracted from the terror of existing in a public space lol.
I'm legit on a solo vacation in the countryside in an adorable Airbnb as I watch this- can HIGHLY recommend it. I love going away with friends, but most of us are at a point in our lives right now where people can't get the same time off work, some can't afford it at all, some have long-term partners they want to go away with instead etc etc. Being able to take a break without having to wrangle everyone together is often much much easier.
+Rowan Ellis how exciting!! I’m sure I’ll have a good time, today I ran some last second errands to get some ski pants because?? Apparently?? It’s cold there??
Just kidding I knew it was cold but I didn’t realize HOW cold till I googled it last night haha
I do the opposite with LA, I'm always like- it's fine I have clothes, lemme pack some hoodies- oh shit wait...
are you gonna be on time to see some aurora borealis????
Wisdom beyond your years! Is that perhaps because it was gained on introspective solo vacations?
YES - I went camping by myself and it was real interesting.
it's so refreshing how tessa wears her insecurities on her sleeve. i'm loving these pillow talk vids.
I’ve gone to a concert alone before. I felt weird about it at first, but once I was there I realized nobody cared or noticed and I was able to just enjoy it. It was strangely liberating
I've travelled to paris on my own in 2016. I was 19, alone and I didn't know how to say anything in french at all. I decided to go ice staking on eiffel tower and I have no idea how to ice skate. There, a french girl was gracefully killing it, dancing all over the place and I couldn't even let go of the bars that kept me from falling. She, then, took my hand and guided me through the rink, teaching me, dancing with me. She made me let go of the bars that I was scared to let go. She didn't speak a word in english and I didn't speak french. Until now, I don't know her name and I have no idea what she was telling me, but it was the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me. Go travel by yourselves. Amazing things will happen.
Sarah Ferragoni this sounds more like something out of a book than something that would happen wow this makes me so happy
1) Tessa, your makeup looks SO BEAUTIFUL here. I can't get over how good your eyebrows are.
2) I think solo travel is wonderful! I tend to do a lot of things on my own already but I spent a week alone in London and it was a magical experience. I hope Finland is the same for you!
I definitely recommend solo travel. I love the freedom that I have. I can do what I want or not do something. I can change my plans quickly. I learn so much about the place where I am and about myself. I have learned what I'm good at, what I like to do and what makes me comfortable and uncomfortable. Also I live in Finland so ask if you have any questions
You have absolutely nothing to worry about Tessa! I live on a tinyyy island called Malta and last summer I decided that I wanted to visit Russia (St. Petersburg to be exact) because I'm just so obsessed with Russian classical composers and so wanted to be where they once lived. Unfortunately nobody wanted to join me however, and the mere idea of going to Russia alone simply terrified me. Anyway long story short, I ended up going by myself and I had a marvellous time! I could do whatever I wanted at my own pace and also go wherever I wanted to without needing anyone's approval. To conclude (sorry for such a long comment): PLEASE DO GO TO FINLAND AND HAVE A GREAT TIME!!!! I'M SURE THAT IT WILL BE AMAZING 💙
I'm loving the cover effects at the end of the pillow talk videos. It just looks so cool
"It depends how much you hate yourself..." *sees Tessa turn inward to delve into the dark pit of internal turmoil* me: "Same."
I love traveling alone. You get so much time to discover yourself and enjoy the area around you. It's like a breath of fresh air.
the same reasons leena made for solo travel are the same reasons I go to the movies by myself a lot. I get to watch what I want, when I want, get there as early/stay as late as I want, and sit wherever I want! It's beautiful
I love the vibes in this video like having a genuine conversation with a friend in a relaxed space like a festival or something
I'm happy Tessa just asked for the high five and didn't just let it go I should do that
I traveled through Europe alone this summer, and there were parts of it I loved and parts of it that could have been improved by having someone else there. Being able to do things like take an impromptu train to Versailles and wander the gardens and read a book under a tree instead of touring the inside can be incredibly liberating and fun. On the other hand, not being able to experience places with others has sort of done a weird thing to my memory, where it doesn't feel like I've done as much when I've gone alone than it does when I'm with others. I think part of that is that joint storytelling while it's happening-- saying things like "this ice cream is incredible" or "wow they don't have this back home"-- things that fuel your own narrative.
While I'd recommend it for brief stretches, and I'd make the most of any opportunity I get to travel alone, a great travel companion can't be beat.
i looove pillow talk, new bucket list item is to be on this lovely chatty emotionally aware vlog. I LOVE IT
I am only 16 years old, but I have been traveling Asia by myself and it has been absolutely terrifying, but I love it. I am a person who is always worried and anxious about everything that could go wrong, so this experience has forced me to face my fears, become more independent, and develop my own character and personality. Being in a country where you know nobody is so freeing because you can be whoever you want to be. I have learned to not worry so much because I probably won't see most of these people ever again. It's also really great meeting all sorts of interesting people, as you said. It reminds you that there are 7 billion ways that the world is currently being perceived, and seeing someone else's perspective expands your own. You also form a weird connection with other solo-travelers from around the world, whether that is in the countries you go to or through social media.
Welcome back Tessa! I love Pillow Talk. Thank you for coming back and bringing back one of my favorite series of yours.
You can always nostalgically share your experiences with us! I suppose I'll speak for myself to be safe though: I may not have been there, but 1. I'm happy for you no matter what you're doing or who else gets to be there, and 2. You sharing your experiences here will inspire others to share their stories. Whether you interact or just start the conversation is up to you, but what I'm trying to say is that I support you and please don't feel like there's nobody to recount the fun to. I know it's not the same, but it's the best suggestion I've got.
That's awesome of you. I admire your willingness to admit that you're supporting them, especially in the way that you have. Your comment speaks of your respect for others and your willingness to be someone that they can think of being their cheerleader or pep squad that is getting them out of a rut that they might find themselves in. Your hope for the good of others is beautiful. Keep on being you...please by all means. You may n ot always get this kind of recognition but I was lucky enough to stumble across these kind words and thought I'd let you know - awesome job! Keep on shining!
I agree with both of you! I’m the same in the context of, feeling more ‘outgoing’ when I’m not around other people I know because as you said you can try something new or try be confident and if anything goes wrong no one is there to judge you. It is nice to experience things with people, but there’s a lot of moments where I’ve had good experiences that are tainted by the current relationship with said person, that can’t happen when I’m alone. I enjoy going to concerts by myself because there’s no pressure of conversation, no feeling too awkward to get over excited and dance like a loon. No pressure of feeling annoying if I have to use the bathroom or move further back halfway through the set. I can dance and sing my heart out or cry or just close my eyes and take it in and the only people who can pass judgment are strangers who I’ll never see again and will’ve forgotten me by the next day. Traveling is the exact same. The anxiety is still there but you’re free to live however you want and I think that’s a nice thing to be able to do when you’re in a new, beautiful place, you can explore for how ever long you want and wherever you want. Enjoy! You’re gonna have a great time!
Okay this is going to sound very dramatic but I think my solo travels might have saved my life. I used to be such an angsty person until a went on some trips on my own to the other side of the world and I met incredibly interesting people and saw some amazing places. Ever since I dont care as much. Maybe because of what tessa just said about you having the opportunity to change your personality if you want. It's almost like I reinvented myself on those trips. 100% would recommend!
I love this format so much
I'm so jealous of what you said! That you're braver alone. I WISH I was. I've done a lot of solo travel and I'm fine with it, but my only issue is that I'm braver with other people. With an audience I have no issues rising to any occasion. I'm totally comfortable talking to strangers with a friend by my side, even if they are asleep or not in the room at the moment. But alone I suddenly become shy, social anxiety panic attack shy. I freeze up and can't talk to strangers or break rules or explore. I still don't know what it is, because if I'm at a party and my friends are inside I and I'm outside I can chat with strangers. If I came alone I can't talk with anyone unless they approach me first. So traveling, especially to foreign countries where I don't speak the language, is fun with other people. Getting lost or trying to guess what a sign says, or ordering food is just funny. But alone these moments of confusion can cause so much anxiety I can't leave the hotel room. Yet I still do it, travel alone, a lot, because I never want to have to wait on other people to live my life and no matter what I've never regretted it for a second. Especially as you get older, people will be less and less available to match their schedules with yours, so knowing how to do it and have fun is a must in my opinion.
I'm currently solo traveling trough Australia and Bali and I'm a huge introvert. And even though I'm always staying in youth hostels with 3 or more people in my room I barely ever talk to anyone. Not because i don't want to but because I'm shy and have social anxiety and scared shitless of other people. I'm 6 months into my incredibly lonely journey and it has been great. I've felt like shit a lot and had some very very low moments of self-hate because my goal of this trip was to go out there and meet new people and become an extroverted, easygoing, bubbly, fun person... But I'm not and I never will be. And that's okay. And I'm learning to not let my anxiety hold me back from exploring the world. So even though I'm not having the typical gap-year backpacker party experience, doesn't mean I'm having an amazing time in solitude :)
To all introverted, shy people with a whole bunch of anxiety: go travel, it's fun! Even on your own!
Eleonora a quick question, how do you get about whilst travelling, a bike, car, bus??
MU54B ehhh mostly public transport and planes. In bali a lot of taxis or scooters.... Why?
I admire your bravery and your ability to recognize that we are who we are and the best way to deal with that is to accept ourselves for who we are. I'm happy for you that you've been able to approach this understanding through your willingness to put yourself out there. We all have different ways of being, different genetics and upbringing which helps form who we are but in order to have an actual rainbow we need all the colors in the spectrum to appreciate the direction that we can find a leprechaun's pot of gold... or maybe some lucky charms. Anyways, good job on being who you are and helping promote others to get out there as well. You're surely a positive influence on many more people than you would even be aware of. Keep up the awesome work and create a wide array of experiences and lessons that is the very fabric of your existence- fashion a framed canvas to display your existence and positivity into the world through both verbal and non-verbal actions.
I miss these pillow talks. They're so intimate and introspective and I just love watching them. I envy how well you know yourself, Tessa. I mean, I know myself well enough, but you speak so confidently and self-assuredly about yourself and it's just really cool and something for me to strive for. Can't wait to see more pillow talks (and hear more music!) in the future!
‘anything you’re worried about apart from imminent loneliness and existential dread’
same
Traveling solo is very very rewarding. You learn so much about yourself as you experience a new culture. I went to Tokyo alone back in 2017 and it's the best decision I've ever done in my travels. I'm excited to do it again!
I totally feel you with what you said about feeling more shy when you are with people you know! When I meet new people I feel like I can reinvent myself, or show a part of me that I never show
I love love LOVE and relate to what you said about interacting with people without people you’re familiar with. It’s so true and I love meeting new people... by myself
Today I properly **listened** to the lyrics from your halloway ep for the first time and woW i already loved those songs, but I didn’t realise how much I connect with and relate to the lyrics ?? so ty for making music that reflects my thoughts I guess
+mind of Jessie ❤️❤️❤️
Tessa Violet alsooo super super hoping you perform in the uk at some point in the future, bc until recently, I was never allowed to go to concerts sO I’ve missed whenever you have toured here ahhh. &re this video, it’s made me want to solo travel to places in Europe even more, but I’m 17 so my parents don’t want me out of the country on my own. I can’t wait to experience countries in the alternative perspective of only having my own company, whenever I do get the chance
when you do get that chance, you will soak it up and thoroughly enjoy it. I've been lucky that I've travelled with family but also have lived in places alone and I have a protective family who also worry more than needed so I know where you're coming from.
Monique Rowe I can’t wait, honestly. Before this summer, I never had any interest in travelling, but over the past 5 months I’ve developed such a craving for it. It frustrates me so much that I have earned and put aside enough money to afford it, yet persuading my family to agree to it is the bigger feat. Though I guess there’s not too much they can do to stop me, once I’m 18 and moved out for uni ahah
Yeah go for it! I mean as always be aware of surroundings and be smart but you are going to have such a great time when you do travel. Where is the first place you want to visit?
I'm kind of the opposite in terms of when I'm shyer. I'm less shy the more I know the people around me. My main worry about solo traveling is that I won't do the things I really want to do without my friends there to give me a little push. I'm such a scared person that I just end up worrying, but my friends make me feel safe and are able to push me. Those are the times I've had the most fun.
I also feel eyes on me if I'm by myself. Logically I know that people aren't paying attention to whether I'm alone or not, but in the moment I just feel the eyes and it makes it very difficult to think about it logically. I am of course also worried about being endlessly lonely as I'm very shy around people I don't know. I pretty much never want to talk to people unless I know them, which of course makes no sense because how would I ever get to know anyone, but that's still feeling that takes over in those situations.
I'm going on a trip to Finland next year to visit my penpal, and realized I could use the trip to also visit London or Paris or another place, and I want to do it, but I also have these worries racing through my head.
Travelling alone is the best! The first time I did it I had a bit of a panic attach and didn't leave my hotel room for three days but after I got over that I really enjoyed not just the freedom of destination but also the freedom of timing. When you're travelling with people, there always seems to be a sense of urgency. A feeling of we should be DOING something. When you're alone you can just stop. Sit in parks. Finish a meal but don't rush off. Just sip a coffee and stare out the window. Walk the streets to your next destination but don't hurry.
My favourite memories from trips are rarely the landmarks . I enjoy those but my fondest memories are the small places and accidental finds that happen when you're just going with the flow.
Nearly all my travel as an adult has been done on my own. Travelling with people can be great, but travelling solo is definitely worth doing. There's a lot of time spent in silence, with just your own thoughts, but you're deciding where to go and what to look at and what to think about, which is such a great and important experience. I went to Paris by myself for a week this past summer (and I don't speak French beyond necessary phrases to get by, so I rarely spoke to anyone), and it was wonderful. Creatively, I had more ideas than I had the whole summer (that past year, probably), and learned more things about myself. I walked all over the city, where with others I might have taken the metro more often, and got to see so much.
I agree with Tessa's commentary about bravery. I actually feel like this is why I'm a much fresher, confident and successful person now I'm living and studying in a different country, I really needed that break from people's expectations/ perceptions of me in my hometown.
My advice for solo travel is to be honest with yourself about your feelings and what you're experiencing.
I personally hated traveling alone (mainly because I'm an anxious person and generally strangers were aggressive toward me but anyway) no one I talked to would sympathize or understand not liking it. People would look at me like I was crazy when I said I didn't have a good time but I guess that's because they're used to people saying "Oh my god it was beautiful, the culture was amazing, the food etc etc."
I felt like there was something wrong with me that I wasn't liking any of these experiences so I basically started lying to myself and others that I had a good time which was a really bad idea and made me more lonely somehow. It's sort of like you're not allowed to tell people you had a bad time which is ridiculous, you're allowed to have your own thoughts and feelings.
Anyway, mini rant over, my point is just because other people love doing something it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you for not loving it too. Whatever happens you'll have a better understanding of what you like and what you want ^^
Hope you have a safe trip and good experiences
I'm so glad you brought up the fact that you're more brave around people that you don't know! I have that exact thing with my anxiety! I'm an actress, and I find that I get WAY more nervous performing in front of people I know, as opposed to strangers. I think, for me and maybe it's the same for you Tessa, that it's because I care so much about the people who know me's opinion of me. I care about what my friends think of my behavior and my actions, but with complete strangers, I don't care as much because I'll never see them again. I want my friends to love my performances, but if a complete stranger doesn't, I don't mind as much.
Ahhh I just love you and your music so much! You've been a great role model for me other the last few months so thank you so much :)
I traveled to the UK by myself and found it really liberating and fun. I visited friends and wandered where I wanted to wander, when I wanted to wander. It's nice not having to worry about what someone else wants to do, occasionally. :)
Surely allows you to have an understanding of what we might want in life without all the distractions and demands that are thrown about without much concern for the toll it takes.
"You're beautifully irrelevant to the other people that are around you and it's kind of great"
tessa, I wish you had a podcast bc you're voice literally cures all my diseases
You get the full fun! You can remember the trip on your own and have those memories just for yourself.
i don't know why i stopped watching these type of videos for a while, but it definitely felt soul-mending and like I could breathe again. thank you for your vids, your music and all that you put out into the world Tessa, my confused brain really needs them
what Leena said is so true. if i travel with other people the experience and memories inevitably involve them. when i travel alone i don't have a narrative, feel displaced and lost all in a good way
I have never solo traveled before, but I really like what you said about being around people that know you and noticing when you act different.
I feel like I want to do different things and maybe reinvent myself sometimes, but feel like I can’t for fear of the people I am with judging me for acting out from my normal behaviour.
Behaviors and actions can always be seen as entertaining an idea without actually accepting it. In a way it's kind of like vicariously living the experience through a persona that you've manifested in order to experiment and get a better view of the options that are out there. Wouldn't go to a car lot and just buy the first one you saw would ya? Check out the lot, there's plenty of rides out there and the only way to get in that vehicle is to hop in. Enjoy the ride.
Solo travel is a really wonderful experience for a little introspection. You get to see who you are when you're not trying to meet the expectations of any of the people in your life. It's also a lot of fun and a great opportunity to meet people from around the world. You'll have an amazing time Tessa!
There is so much freedom in solo travel not just in choices of where to go or what to do but in who you are. It’s liberating to think every person you meet, every interaction you have is a fresh slate. You can ‘be’ the best you to these people. You can be the person they remember about their trip.
I think it’s also important not to blame yourself for bad days on the road. Ridiculous things happen, take it as it comes. Enjoy the imperfect moments.
Hey Tessa. Definitely give it a go - much more exciting to go somewhere new on your own. Freedom to explore new places without having to make plans with anyone else. If you're having trouble deciding where to go in the future, then an easy way of deciding is to write your destinations on slips of paper and put them in a pot, have someone else pick one out for you. I've also found good hotel and BnB deals just by having a long weekend away - you can still get sooo much done in three days!
I really agree with the things Leena said and I'm glad you're discussing this! I'm nineteen years old and I really like doing things on my own. Don't get my wrong, I love hanging around with friends etc but I feel like I can enjoy those moments much more when I also take time to be alone, just to get some air and to get back to myself. This summer I really wanted to treat myself and do something on my own so I went to Thailand and Vietnam without any company. It was the most empowering thing ever. I think so much more straight being alone, knowing no one can judge me and by that can't make a mistake. I can't let anything be done by someone else so I need to take all responsibility and I am much more living in the moment. And also I'm so much less afraid or embarrassed by things and could handle certain situations better, for example I didn't get tired quick in a big crowd like usually since I knew I could leave the situation every time I wanted to. Of course, the next thing for me is to learn to be all those things also when I am with others but it still feels so great that I know that I can always depend on my self when needed. I really suggest everyone do something for themselves one time, it doesn't has to be this far and it can be something small like going to an event by yourself. Ofc I don't want to sugarcoat things since there can be downsides by traveling alone this far without any big experience, so of course it can suck sometimes and you must be aware of your choices, so you really should go for a trip you feel most comfortable with. But hey, you're the one choosing so you can go to the exact place that you think is right for you. I wished I was a native English speaker so I could have said the things I wanted to say better but I did my best hahaha x
I like the idea of solo travel. I've never been on a big trip by myself but I've made day trips to cities on my own and you really have to be your own hype man. You have to be the one to convince yourself that what you're doing is exciting and make the most of it.
When I lived in London last year my friends and I wanted to see Brighton but I had work when they wanted to go, so I ended up having to go alone. And it was fine! I spent 8 hours in Brighton by myself, walking around the shops, walking the beach, going through the museum, sitting in this cozy little coffee shop. It was a good trip. The only downside is that I was responsible for making the bus on time since I had no one with me to keep track of the time for me. I'm the type of person who likes being early to being early so that was a bit nerve-wracking. But I don't regret it. Even though it was just a day trip I'm glad I have that experience. I'm moving back to London in January and I'm hoping to go on a longer trip somewhere. I'm thinkin Iceland :)
Finland was mentioned so many times in this video I feel patriotic
“There’s no one around to say ‘oh, you’re acting different.’” YES, AMAGAD. I’ve never heard anyone else except me talk about that! 😃
I’m seeing you on tour in Louisville and super excited 😊
Loved this video! Something that quiets my mind when solo-travelling is knowing I can just go to my room if I feel uncomfortable and no one can tell me I'm wasting my time there, and having that makes me bolder. Also, not trying to have a self-revelation! Because that's mentally tiring, and the focus is best kept at the inmediate experience. You'll have a great trip :)
Solo Travel is literally the thing that I adore more than anything. The freedom and self-reflection has been so SO important to me.
i’m so glad your back!!
I've done a lot of solo travel (I'm 28) and I agree with Leena - it's whatever you want it to be, literally. For me, it's wonderful. You discover exactly how capable and independent you are when it's just you. You come across a problem and no one else is there, so you have to solve it for yourself. Solo travel is incredibly liberating and empowering that way. Also, when you're alone you're far more approachable than you would be otherwise. People will feel more inclined to speak with and interact with you. You can go anywhere alone, but you will never have to keep being alone if you decide you want company because I guarantee people will approach you with questions, you'll be invited along to parties and bars, and people will want to hang out with you. I'm so excited for you! Definitely learn some Finnish if you can - always a strong start to speak even a few words of the country's language and lead with that. People love when you try, even if you're terrible; it starts the interaction off positively and respectfully. I'm around if you have any questions about doing solo travel as a woman! Have a blast! :-D P.S. - Totally going to come see you play when you come through my city (Austin)!
Yes! tessa is uploading again! Tessa you're a beautiful human please don't deprive the fans who can't afford to Patreon of your wisdom!
I've never truly traveled to a place alone before (I've flown/driven alone but always to visit someone), but I feel like going to local pubs/bars/restaurants could be a really cool way to meet people and swap stories. It also just sounds super romantic if you met the love of your life at a random pub in a new country, but all of that aside, you may find some good company.
You or whoever else is traveling is always in good company. Check out that mirror.
I love travelling alone, and just got back to Canada from a month long road trip through the states. I recommend it to everyone.
I always love these videos :) I really love how honest both of you are, thank you!
As someone that works in the tourism industry, whenever i see people visiting on their own, i find them so inspiring and strong, but i do notice their anxiety or their sort of uncomfortableness when i ask them "just for one" especially if it is their first time traveling alone but i dont know, i wish i could be like them and travel on my own someday
there's also something special about havin sonething just for yourself. i went on a solotrip to Norway a couple years ago, to see whales. and i know it would have been a nice experience to have with someone, but it also kind of feels magical that it's just mine. i can share it with people sure, but no one knows how tuly amazing it was to be surrounded by those mountains and orcas and humpback whales in that moment. that belongs to me.
i hope you have great solo travel experience here in finland. people here are quiet and somewhat reserved but also friendly and kind.
I'm so happy doing things by myself! I've got amazing friends that I chill with a lot, but my adventures out in the city by myself become lasting memories just as much as my adventures with my friends. I like being with my thoughts.
Solo travel is a lot of fun, I started doing it mainly because i like to go places to draw the things i see and it's an activity that's better alone.
As an ambivert stay at home mom, a solo trip sounds like HEAVEN. Can I vicariously experience this solitude with you? You don't even have to talk to the camera. Mood music and time lapses with your back to the lens would be perfect, lol.
(Totally a mom, telling you what to do on YOUR vacation. Ignore me. 😅)
Solo travel is honestly the bEST. I have spent the last two summers abroad in Germany, mostly on my own. I do have friends and family that I visit when I'm there but usually I'm living with strangers or completely by myself in a hostel and it's my ideal lifestyle honestly. I prefer traveling by myself because I'm always on my own itinerary and the quality time I have with myself alone abroad is the best thing ever. So much more fulfilling than when I spend time alone in my home country.
I hope you had an awesome time in Finland!!
I'm going away in late January and I am SO GLAD I watched this video. I'm only just getting hyped now, and it's really reassuring to hear my fears reflected and thought through!
I love traveling by myself. I feel like you get to experience a place differently when you're alone, and that it's a lot easier to seem like a tourist when you're with someone else or in a group. It's easier for me to take in and process a new place when I'm solo.
The thing you said about having to verbalize whatever you're experiencing when you're with someone is very interesting. And I agree, but I'd also like to add that sometimes you travel with people you DONT have to do that with. You can just look at each other and not say anything and be like, "yeah, i know." I was lucky enough to travel with my best friend recently and that was exactly how it was haha.
And I also very much agree with being braver on my own! For me it's kind of related to the fact that I can tell myself I'm never going to see any of these people ever again and that lowers my anxiety by MILES because I'm less worried about embarrassing myself. At best they'll remember me as the weird foreign girl who did that bold thing once. And that's pretty good.
I took my first solo trip a month into 17 and it was such a life changing experience. You can visit what you want when you want and it's so much easier to meet new people on your own.
I've travelled quite a bit myself and it is awesome! Go to places, talk to people, take pictures, do things. I'd recommend not going to crowded places where you can't talk to people though, like places that are too touristy. Sometimes the loneliness will hit me there
I went alone to Japan (from Poland) and it was great :P I liked that I had no one to depend on and I was the one saying 'ok I have to wake up now, cos later I won't manage to do everything that I want"
Aw! I totally get what you're going through about the solo traveling. My first experience of that was after a semester of studying in the US. You just have endless amount of freedom and it's amazing. Like, when I was in LA during my solo trip I randomly saw that you were having a living room concert, which I went to last minute - I mean how great was that! My advice would be to allow for spontaneity and not plan out every single minute of the day. For me, my best experiences have come from being spontaneous. Since I've been to both Berlin and Paris on my own and I still love telling stories from those trips even though none of my friends were with me.
Enjoy yourself and I'm sure you will have a great time!
It's so good to see Tessa again!! Also, it's nice to go places on your own because you get to choose every activity, every path, without consulting with anyone! It's super fun :)
I'm hella extroverted and I think the thing holding me back is scared of getting lonely, but I'm starting to be more emotionally independent and solo travels is definitely on my to do list, awesome lil vid guys :)
I think the thing that surprised me the most when i was on a solo holiday earlier this year (my first) was how much more patient I was. I was quite as frustrated with crowds or lines or planning as I was when I had other people with me. I never had to wait for things I didnt really want to do. If i was in line, if i was on a train, if i was in a crowd, it was because i chose to be. There is a loneliness there, but its an easier loneliness than any other i have experienced. There is a definite end date to it, for one.
"Finland, we'll never get there"
I also love traveling alone! Hostels are amazing places! So are tours! Most people are really friendly, especially to travelers. And other travelers are generally very friendly too. I want to backpack for a year by myself. Pineapple! Be brave! Travel Safe!
Solo travel is the BEST. I’ve been to Copenhagen and NYC by myself and honestly I remember more about those trips than any I’ve been on with friends; Leena’s so right in that you spend your time just experiencing and absorbing everything around you instead of worrying if other people are having a good time with you. PLUS you can do whatever you want. You wanna walk round an art gallery for six hours? COOL! See eight gazillion shows? Go for it (if ur funds allow lol I’m still recovering from that one)
SOME TIPS THO:
- bring a journal and just document how you feel and what you experience and the things you get up to
- remember to take pictures (it’s easy to forget espesh if you’re used to other people taking the photos on holiday)
- talk to people if you want to. don’t if you don’t want to. it’s perfectly acceptable to be alone and silent and spend some time with yourself.
- laugh at your mistakes. don’t get stressed out if you do something wrong or get lost, because you will and it’s ok.
- take advantage of the fact you will blend in. being alone makes you look like a local (to an extent). it’s kinda nice to feel invisible sometimes.
You’ll have the best time ever and I hope you’ll tell us all about it!! ♥️
This past summer I traveled to London by myself, and it was a lot of fun. The best part of it for me was not having to worry about what others wanted to do. I could go through the stores and museums and things at the pace I wanted, go where I wanted to eat; and didn’t have to consider what anyone else would want to see or do.
I'm so glad Pillow Talk is back! I adore these!!
I once went to Canada on my own for ten days, and it was the best vacation I ever had, so yeah, solovacation is awesome!
Two of my favourite youtubers collab yay! Solo travel is amazing - I agree with Leena, being able to go where you want to go is great. Make sure to book hostels that aren't crap (been there done that, the cheapest hostel is not the most fun hostel) and the good ones have nice living room areas where you can have interesting conversations with people from all over the world! You won't be alone in a hostel, I tell you, you'll meet friends in no time ;) Also, I like to take a little notebook with me to document my experiences&thoughts. Nostalgia sharing with your diary I guess? Haha. Have fun on your trip Tessa, you'll be fine! :)
I love travel! I have always wanted to go solo traveling but haven't gotten the chance yet. But I am different when I do things on my own verses when I'm with people
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE SO MUCH FRICKING FUN, TESSA! it obviously does have disadvantages, too, to go alone. but so many advantages, too! what was said is so much true - maybe it doesn't seem so "worthyfull" atm, but doing decisions in this kind of a thing on your own and for your own self is just...gold.
this was such a good video!! i've kind of been thinking about going to london next summer (mostly to see the musical "fun home" and to visit the harry potter world and forbidden planet.. so like.. a total nerd trip lol) by myself but i've never travelled by myself so i'm pretty scared.. and i've tried to talk some of my friends into joining me but i don't think they will.. but this video made me actually seriously consider going alone!! and made me kind of excited at the thought! so thank you!! maybe i should start looking into plane tickets right now....?
Timing, watching this after planing my first weekend trip alone. Would love to hear from you after you visited Finnland how it went. Also super happy to see your face and hear your voice again :)
This video comes at the perfect time for me! I'm currently considering going to ireland for a few weeks on my own next year. So this is perfect thank you so much
Went to Paris this year by myself. It was amazing. I didn't stop exploring. Now I feel like I can go again after a couple of years with friends and I will get a completely new and different experience. So it's like you can visit the same place for the first time twice. Both experiences are great in different ways.
I completely relate to being a little more outgoing when I'm on my own rather than when I'm with other people I know. I used to think that's weird and that I am not my own person when I'm with others. But then I figured its okay. and now I know others feel this too.
I'm so happy that you're making videos again! Can't wait for your new record to come out and to see you on tour again!
I'm going to be interning in Paris after Christmas and will be living by myself for six months and I'm SO EXCITED because tbh I am just done with people and flatmate drama. I'm also looking forward to exploring the city by myself and not having to cater to anyone else! I agree with Leena, while I haven't "holidayed by myself" before I've done day trips, and the best thing is being able to do exactly what you want without having to justify it to anyone else.
I'm 20 now and I've been solo traveling since I was 16. Partly because I wanted to and partly because my best friends are quite introverted and like to visited places they know instead of exploring. I always find traveling with people highly stressful and in those times where we are forced to sit on top of each other in such a compressed timespan, I always feel quite low on confidence cause I either act up to much or stay to much in the shadows. Traveling alone has been wonderful, you meet so many great people! I always look for poetry open mic in towns I visit and perform there and meet the local community and it's sosososo awesome. So far I've done that in London, Berlin and in the countryside in Ireland (I'm from Munich). Writing also flows so well when traveling, at least for me. Would recommend!
Yay, I’m from Finland...have fun! 💛💛
Solo traveling is the best thing ever. You get to do EVERYTHING on your own terms, which is awesome! And no one knows who you are which , for me, is so freeing :)
But also, it amazed me how many human interactions I actually got to experience during the day: whether it’s a nice waiter or somebody who comes up to you to ask you if you would want them to take a picture for you, you’ll find out how nice strangers can be.
Also, you’ll probably get the chance to meet new people and make friends, and maybe stay with them throughout the travel. It’s up to you if you’d prefer to do things more on your own or would like to join a group :)
i always travel alone and when i don't i usually find it much more exhausting...then again, it can be really intimidating and it's super scary when u get lost lol but apart from that i just love it...u get to do everything at your own pace and your own budget and you can also learn a lot about yourself etc ALSO as a creative (and maybe hyper sensitive) person it's really cool to take everything in and express it through art OR if art id your job u also have the freedom to take a break from it OR just create for your own sake OK HOPE YOU'LL ENJOY YOUR SOLO TRIP (make sure to have a fun playlist with u to listen to)
This video speaks to my soul. Thank you Tessa and Leena :)
You should come to Estonia for a day while you're in Finland. It's only a two hour ferry ride away from Helsinki and there's a really adorable cat cafe in Tallinn and a gorgeous old town. Also I will be there so that makes everything better
I really enjoyed the video and the ideas in it. I also wanted to comment because Tessa your makeup is on point, such make-up envy right now.
i solo traveled for the first time this summer for my 20th bday. i packed off to london just to get out of ireland for a few days. it was definitely satisfying being able to plan out exactly what i wanted to do. for the most part i didn't really notice that i was alone. the only time it kind of got to me was finding places to eat. i stuck to coffee shops and fast food cause i feel like it's more normal to be alone in those kind of places which is stupid really. mostly though there's kind of a sense of pride for having done it, not missing any of my flights or trains and only getting (slightly) lost twice. usually i rely quite heavily on those around me to organise things and know what they're doing so i think the experience was good for me.
I just spent Thanksgiving, the most family/people-oriented American holiday I think, by myself in Montréal. I stayed in a hostel in the middle of the city. I only brought my phone, my notebook, and books to read to keep me company while I wandered the city alone for 4 days. I didn't really talk to anyone in the room I stayed in, but I also went for the cheapest room possible, so it was me and 8 young men in a room with 5 three-level bunk beds and it was an Experience. It was very cold in Canada, given that is was nearly December, but I loved it. I moved to a new city with strangers to start a new job in August. It has been awesome, but my job is really time consuming, so this trip was the first time I had been alone with my thoughts without other things pressing on my mind since August. It was terrifying to have my brain just say "hey you know all those things you have been waiting to think about until you have time? HERE THEY ARE!" But it was also very important that I actually took that time to address them in a context where I was alone, with no one answer to but me, and where I was self-sufficient and therefore feeling more confident in myself than usual. I love traveling alone, and I want to do it more often.