1) Allow yourself for not wait for permission and approval 2) There are no short cuts 3) Why not me? I can just like others 4) Don't spend all of your time thinking where you are not 5) Allow yourself to not be liked by everyone
I’m a registered mental health nurse and I’m returning to practice tomorrow after a 9 month career break due to burn out. Your videos have supported me to reflect on and work with all the internal reasons that have knocked my confidence and helped me set some new goals for the future. Whilst nursing will always be stressful much if the battle starts from within. Thank you, Julia Kristina. Know that your work is helping people everywhere. From North Yorkshire, UK.
I've gone back and watch your early videos they made me smile I was a street musician for Year's I could not go back and look on camera but what I could do is see people's reaction because I didn't just play guitar I made people laugh I was good at it you've grown into quite the Beautiful intellectual sensitive person I love your videos I draw strength from them they help me sleep at night because I have gotten older and living is a little more difficult than it used to be you and my crappy childhood fairy and some others and responses from the people that listen to you keep me going thank you🌴🐊🌴❤🌻🕉 I don't seem to be able to find safe and comfortable housing can you believe that I move from one nightmare to the next and I'm getting tired and when you are so depressed for that long it affects your health it has affected mine but I'm a tough old bastard I'll keep plugging along you're beautiful I see the difference and you're early videos but that is awesome and you should be proud yes you can be proud😁👌
Frankly, I've never connected with positive thinking. I'm very into authenticity and need to feel what I feel about stuff that I see and hear. However, I think that focusing on the negative stuff is a bad plan too. I'm seeking balance.
This is SO inspiring! Why NOT me?!! Everyone needs to see this video!!! Thanks for putting YOURSELF out there to encourage and inspire others to go for their dreams!
I needed to watch this video again, and it really resonated with me. I’ve been struggling with confidence at work and I need to remember that I am as good as my colleagues. I CAN do just as well as them. I need to celebrate my achievements and trust myself to do things properly. I also need to start saying ‘Let me get back to you.’ Your videos are so inspiring xx
Thanks! I love all of this points. The second one remind me an old saying in Spanish that my grandfather use to say a lot, (my family loves sayings 😆) is something like: The lazy and the petty-minded walk the road twice. Means that if you don't do things right, you have to do it again. I don't know if is some equivalent in English, but is a pretty wise saying. Nice day to remember forefathers. 🙂🙏💐
You are a Angel, you are the most inspiring women I have found on here. I thank you and God for your entrance in my life at this point of my down fall in trying to climb out of
This reminds me of what Scott Peck said in the book, “the Road Less Traveled.” Basically, that we have to do the hardest things first. I can even relate this to impulsivity in buying things. For instance, instead of buying a chair that is low quality I would rather save and wait to get the one I really want. So many times in my younger years I took the easy road and it delayed any success. Even choosing the wrong partner just in case the right one doesn’t come along. That definitely doesn’t work in the long run lol! Thank you Julia!
I liked all advice. Some I do already but that phrase "There is no there, there is only here" has stopped me short. It is so true. Thank you for presenting these blogs the way you do. I love them. I am sure many others do.
I wanted to be a lecturer but one event in my life (7 years ago) stopped me and I almost completely lost my motivation to be one, after that I became lot less resilient and it made me feel behind in my life. Still struggle, but hope I will become one and be self-actualized and content in my life. Thanks for your videos, they are very helpful❤️
Mindset shift - stop waiting for approval from everyone else - informed decision in self-trust - responsibility for my decisions Short cut is the long cut - do the work - no easy button Why not ME? Work at it Do the thing! Celebrate those milestones - feel good about it Thank you
My confidence has taken a dip due to allowing others opinions to affect me too much. Thanks for the encouragement to continue to move forward in pursuing goals despite the fact that it won’t always be easy.
Glad to enjoy your channel. I am learning English and I really enjoy the way you speak this beauriful language. So while I am learning about pshycology issues I am improving my english skills as well. You are doing a better world because women are the real miracle of this wolrd. thanks
Omg this was so good. Girl, you’re a badass. “Everyone is coming from their own perspective..” This was a life-altering shift for me. All of these points are SO right on. 10 years ago I was struggling with all these things. It took me hard work (and some easy work!!) to overcome my fears and even be able to hear and believe these mindset shifts. It’s why I do what I do now (teaching women my process) - because we NEED more women with the confidence to step into this world that badly needs their leadership and heart, and because I know how amazing it feels to go from that lack of confidence and insecurity to a place of steady comfort and self-assurance in our lives and work. Thank you for doing what you do and with such confidence! You are def NOT a dealbreaker for me! (Even if you don’t like affirmations. 😆)
I already feel so much better about myself I'm Ready to get confident I suffer from depression and just watching this really helped me feel better about myself
We have to patiently go through the process of feeling awkward, uncomfortable and crappy until coming to becoming who we authentically are. Integrity needs time and pain and it is by all means worth it. Thank you.
I know that I'm young and that I still have so much to learn and experience but what you said made me realize something. I've slowly started to allow myself to recognize that I in fact have grown as a person... I've come so far from that starting point it almost brings a tear to my eye. Thank you so much for sparking that thought, it really does mean the world to me
"Im not good enough to be a psychologist." Thats just something my family has hinted at in subtle ways and im not blaming them because at some point they must have believed that its just too much commitment for me. Sometimes i doubt it too but then i remind myself that its all i ever wanted to be, so ill do it and ill prove them wrong. and then ill finally be happy.
There's a guy called Tom Bayer (on Tom Bilyeu's channel), who said, and I believe him, that "A limiting belief is just a DECISION you made at some point." and "...limiting beliefs are ALL untrue."
Thank you so much for this. I’ve been thinking about dating again but keep thinking I’m not good enough or rich enough or whatever. Why not me. So what if I’m a dealbreaker for someone. People pleasing and perfectionism have got me into sooooooooooo much trouble. Thank you for helping me see these things and work on them.
I have found that being a deal breaker for people has always turned out for the better. The few times I tried to make something of it bit me in the ass. And with those where I was a deal maker, those relationships were awesome. Like attraction, not everyone I find attractive, and it is nothing personal against them, it just is. Same for them. The great thing is with honesty about these things we don't end up wasting each other's time.
I am definitely not confident in my dancing for example. I always told myself I couldn’t dance and I just won’t ever be able to. But now I’m learning that practice literally makes perfect.
Julia thank you so much for this video, you are inspiring, I am so unconfident due to having so many intimidating and hurtful people in my life. I totally feel like a shell of myself and are struggling with just being who I am. Don't know where or how to start with being confident. Love you're smile and beautiful way of getting the message through. I've thought about so many things I want to to do but am too afraid to communicate for fear of all that you've talked about.
Julia, your information is very on point. As a school counselor, I wish I could share your videos with my middle school students. You use the word "crap" which prevents me from sharing your expertise with them.
My trick to getting away with being happy that not everyone likes me is this; Good, I don't like everyone either. Good, I've hated myself, I been disgusted with my self, I've been, I've been.. I also know the burden of hating, disliking, despising, etc others; That's alot to carry for anyone. Besides, I'm not gonna typically judge or ridicule you if I myself have done it or would do it, even again. Fact is, there needs to be a little bit of not liking to give you perspective and safety for self. You need that space and distance for an allowance for one's self during times of reflection and introspection.
Love this! I am most definitely a dealbreaker for ppl - & thats OK. I started giving myself permission to be OK with that a few years ago. I remind myself of that every once & while - but it has helped me be more confident in being me. Like it or lump it ...
I was job hunting with a New Strategy the last 2 months. I am allowing myself to be a 'deal breaker'. If I have an obvious question about the job vacancy, I ASK! I have had the last couple of positions that were just not for ME. Too Much This/Not Enough That... Maybe because I wasn't being authentic going into it? No, I don't want to have the responsibilities of 3 people. No, I don't want to work in an environment that's not respected in the community where I fear for my safety on my lunch break in the park. No, I don't want to work without the resources I need for success every day. It's the first time I didn't get an offer with the 1st interview and accept that offer. I owe it to myself to be Real and to have my self-respect. There's an offer pending. I Love the Manager. I Love the Location. It's doing the Job I Love! Hope the Strategy is 'A Winner'! I hope I am valued and I am heard here. I hope 'Who I Am' Will Matter for Once. Fingers-crossed! ; )
The last part about not being liked by everyone is similar to marketing; successful businesses don't try to attract everyone on board, they focus on certain groups of people with similar interests and values because it is better to have some people who are loyal than a lot of people but they only come for the discounts. This is called target audience and segmentation
Hi Julia !! Your videos are very inspirational & down to earth!! Trying to get myself back to being my true happy self. Lost my self esteem. I’m not working right now. We lost my 18 yr. olds dad 1 1/2 years ago very sudden heart attack it’s been tough!! Have to stay strong for him. Building confidence is key 🙏
Really resignated to all of this. I just got to the I am not for everyone stage at my new church. I am ok with that and I find it very freeing! I am going to loveblast who wants to be in my life and not worry about the rest...lol...free indeed, thank you Jesus. It took me forever to get here. Thank you for this video.
Hi Julia, I think that the only thing that I am good at is that I don't care what people think about me ,and I don't have to like to everyone. In am working on with the rest of the things that you said.. thanks for your help:)
The comment Deal Breaker resonant with me today. It reminds me of a guy I knew, we could sit in a room, look at each other, and couldn't figure out a thing to say to each other. We didn't hate each other. We just could not connect. We had a mutual friend that we both got along with really well. A little while later we connected as FB friends. Still don't have a lot to say to each other. But here's the funny thing. The comments we make to each other on FB posts have more meaning to each other than what we talk about with 80 % of people out there. I guess we just weren't built to connect with each other most of the time. So we don't put our efforts into that and connect on the rare occasions that it is meaningful for us. I'm really learning not to waste my time not to connect with people in hopes of another best friend, potential spouse, soulmate, etc., and just learn to connect the way we are supposed to connect. It's not important for me to connect to everyone.
I actually love that; we are not everyone's cup of tea. 'Cos there's orange pekoe, green, matcha green, chai, sleepy time, mint, fruit teas, passion teas... and every one is valid and enjoyable in it's own right, despite whether or not it is chosen by a passing consumer lol.
I enjoy all your videos and find them very helpful. I am quite comfortable with people not liking me and I am very honest with people when I don't mix well with them too. The secret? I value truth and actuality very highly. I am very honest with myself.
Thanks Julia this reaffirmed my confidence! I watch your videos so I can share with friends, my friends have really benefited from your self esteem videos.
I think the more we take esteem-able actions the more we like ourselves and it’s everybody else’s problem if they don’t like us because we know were in alignment Haven’t reached that yet just an aha moment I had!! Thanks Julia
Thanks for another great connection Julia! I recently started working for a new company. I keep stressing over the small things and I’m having trouble focusing because of it (becomes vicious circle). I really needed to hear absolutely everything you stated in this video.
Eric! New jobs are no joke. Trust yourself. Learning curves are called that for a reason. Give yourself grace and compassion and you will, no doubt, soar!
i wrote down all the fabulous stuff you just said. and tell me add it took way more pages then i expected! thanks for doing this. you bring a change!! :)
I always felt like I am not good enough to be a leader, to speak up or give presentations. I always felt that I am not articulate enough, or that I am boring and incoherent when I talk. So I never took on leadership positions or speak up in front of crowds
love it..I am definitely trying to work through this...Why not me? so far I just feel unworthy or not good enough or not the right person or feel like I am going to be judged, the list goes on....I wasn't aware until recently that I need to practice and work through the hard stuff
@@juliakristinamah That is a really hard question...and all I can come up with is everyone else's expectations of good enough..hmmm...no wonder I'm struggling lol
@@tammy19681 Something to think about because there really isn't a definition. What I think instead is that good enough is a decision, not a destination, or defined by anyone else for us.
This connected! I need to be honest and say that you weren't my cup of tea at first, simply because you reminded me of someone I'd known before who had bullied me and put me through a difficult time in my life. TH-cam kept recommending your videos to me anyway LOL So I decided to give your content more chances because a) it's quality advice and b) I need to forgive the person I mentioned earlier who had given me a hard time. Now I really think you are great Julia Kristina! Thank you for your counselling. It is helping me.
You are super likeable but apparently there are 33 people that didn't like this video and I don't like them either I truly enjoy your videos they helped me a lot thank you for taking the time to do these🤠🐕🌈🌄
Love the song in the middle!! Making your way in the world today takes everything you got! Another great video!! Thank you Julia for these inspiration words!!
I haven't been able to see my counsellor this month which has been hard for me, but your videos, esp this one is super helpful! This channel is a keeper! SUBSCRIBED!! 🙂
Very encouraging and paradigm-shifting pointers. Worth listening to again and again. Would be good to have a quick visual summary of key points. 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
I've been watching your videos regularly and it's helping me get through a transition phase in my life. Really like the practical suggestions. Thanks a lot! 😊
I embraced this without knowing I had done it. Dirty fingernails Not around: through Be only better than one person: myself. Dare to F*** up and laugh at myself. Dammit, I do to find out I can't. I've got this. Dare to be unpopular. I am perfectly imperfect. Sukha & sthira: gentle ease & resolute abiding Your effervescence and sparkly energy brings such bitchin authenticity to you: I call THAT the greatest accessory from the grand-ultimate designer that money can't buy: Designer = JULIA KRISTINA!💜
i agree with your point about the "why not me" part. but it's also important to know who you are in order for your point to be true. When i first started in the workforce, i thought i wanted the have an executive role. Turns out it wasn't as luxurious as I imagined it to be. I don't like taking all the responsibilities for the team. Can i learn how to handle such position, yes, but i'll be miserable, and for what? to feed my ego? Anyways, still love your videos.
Julia, I have been watching your videos for sometime and they are amazing. This one in particular. This is something that myself follow, however, at times, life just seems to pull you back into your shell and you feel very low, and stressed. How do we deal with such situations.
This was amazing! First comment on youtube ever! Just wanted to share, I think I am a deal breaker for my mother in law. I was so afraid to face that fact but I think it's okay now. There's more I could do to just be myself now and let the chips fall where they may.
This is a great video that has helped me so much ss i really needed to heat this. It has confirmed my feelings that you need to be positive in life when you want something and not let negative people get me down as were all only human. Ive been through so much and keep learning as i go along.And its ok to be yourself as i m an honest person and dont believe in putting on an act. And i agreewith you completely on all of this . Counsler Kristina Thank you so much for sharing this.
I always hated and dreaded public speaking. Back in school I would dread having to do speeches. Not to long ago I became certified to officiate weddings. I was still nervous even though I did my homework. I got feedback from co workers and they were surprised that it was my first time because I did it so well.
"Crossed the line?? You're so far PAST the line you can't even SEE the line, the line is a DOT to you." (My superpower is reciting the full scene from Friends if you quote a line...try me...lol)
Great video anytime you pop up in my feed for the day I know it's going to be a life changing video and today was no different! Thank you for this video especially the part where you said Why not me?, I am someone's deal breaker, but that's ok lol those tips gave me a key to locked doors in my brain and spirit. Thank you for the keys. What am I afraid of? What I afraid to pursue is really working and using my company Kaila New York, I write, design, speak and motivate others, but it's hard for me to do all those things especially when no one responds to it or buys my products or asks me to speak. But at the same time after listening to your video I see it's because I don't say WHY NOT ME? I see everyone else doing it and i shrink. Do you have any advice? Thank you so much for doing what you are doing, much love. Kaila
Kaila - this is awesome. People will buy what you have to offer - the more you learn develop you speaking and teaching skills that more irresistible you'll be. Keep going, keep learning, keep growing. You've got this!
1) Allow yourself for not wait for permission and approval
2) There are no short cuts
3) Why not me? I can just like others
4) Don't spend all of your time thinking where you are not
5) Allow yourself to not be liked by everyone
I like to hang out with people that are kind, upbeat and likes to learn and try new things.
Took me many years to realize the shortcut is the long-cut, so spot on!
Me too Robert K. Me too #inthistogether!
I’m a registered mental health nurse and I’m returning to practice tomorrow after a 9 month career break due to burn out. Your videos have supported me to reflect on and work with all the internal reasons that have knocked my confidence and helped me set some new goals for the future. Whilst nursing will always be stressful much if the battle starts from within. Thank you, Julia Kristina. Know that your work is helping people everywhere. From North Yorkshire, UK.
I've gone back and watch your early videos they made me smile I was a street musician for Year's
I could not go back and look on camera but what I could do is see people's reaction because I didn't just play guitar I made people laugh I was good at it you've grown into quite the Beautiful intellectual sensitive person I love your videos I draw strength from them they help me sleep at night because I have gotten older and living is a little more difficult than it used to be you and my crappy childhood fairy and some others and responses from the people that listen to you keep me going thank you🌴🐊🌴❤🌻🕉 I don't seem to be able to find safe and comfortable housing can you believe that I move from one nightmare to the next and I'm getting tired and when you are so depressed for that long it affects your health it has affected mine but I'm a tough old bastard I'll keep plugging along you're beautiful I see the difference and you're early videos but that is awesome and you should be proud yes you can be proud😁👌
Your the best therapist i have ever encountered.
Having positive thinking is key to being confident.
That is definitely a big part of it!
Frankly, I've never connected with positive thinking. I'm very into authenticity and need to feel what I feel about stuff that I see and hear. However, I think that focusing on the negative stuff is a bad plan too. I'm seeking balance.
I feel like for me they both play into each other. Everyone has their own reasons for their negative thoughts.
@@kimsullivan I completely understand!🙏🏾🤗
This is SO inspiring! Why NOT me?!! Everyone needs to see this video!!! Thanks for putting YOURSELF out there to encourage and inspire others to go for their dreams!
Kerry, you are the best! So glad it connected with you. Thank you for ALL of your support, always.
I needed to watch this video again, and it really resonated with me. I’ve been struggling with confidence at work and I need to remember that I am as good as my colleagues. I CAN do just as well as them. I need to celebrate my achievements and trust myself to do things properly. I also need to start saying ‘Let me get back to you.’
Your videos are so inspiring xx
Thank you. Sometimes I have to face the fact that I'm a deal breaker for others.
Thanks! I love all of this points. The second one remind me an old saying in Spanish that my grandfather use to say a lot, (my family loves sayings 😆) is something like: The lazy and the petty-minded walk the road twice. Means that if you don't do things right, you have to do it again. I don't know if is some equivalent in English, but is a pretty wise saying. Nice day to remember forefathers. 🙂🙏💐
Exactly! I love this. Save yourself the time and do the work properly.
Love that saying! I will adopt it lol
@@juliakristinamah Indeed! 😄
@@claudinesouza8995 ☺ Glad you like it!
What’s the phrase?
You are a Angel, you are the most inspiring women I have found on here. I thank you and God for your entrance in my life at this point of my down fall in trying to climb out of
This reminds me of what Scott Peck said in the book, “the Road Less Traveled.” Basically, that we have to do the hardest things first. I can even relate this to impulsivity in buying things. For instance, instead of buying a chair that is low quality I would rather save and wait to get the one I really want. So many times in my younger years I took the easy road and it delayed any success. Even choosing the wrong partner just in case the right one doesn’t come along. That definitely doesn’t work in the long run lol! Thank you Julia!
I liked all advice. Some I do already but that phrase "There is no there, there is only here" has stopped me short. It is so true. Thank you for presenting these blogs the way you do. I love them. I am sure many others do.
Stephen - thank you for your really thoughtful comment and for taking the time to connect with me. Great to have you here!
I love it so many times when I’m not there but it’s just too bad. You are welcome for your time to be ready.
okay, great!
I wanted to be a lecturer but one event in my life (7 years ago) stopped me and I almost completely lost my motivation to be one, after that I became lot less resilient and it made me feel behind in my life. Still struggle, but hope I will become one and be self-actualized and content in my life. Thanks for your videos, they are very helpful❤️
You need to do a Ted Talk... Your amazing to me.
Mindset shift - stop waiting for approval from everyone else - informed decision in self-trust - responsibility for my decisions
Short cut is the long cut - do the work - no easy button
Why not ME? Work at it
Do the thing!
Celebrate those milestones - feel good about it
Thank you
you're definitely a deal-maker cuz I just subscribed and was telling my girlfriend that this is very insightful stuff and you're so genuinely upbeat.
You are helping to get through the crap that’s holding us back! I so appreciate you.
My confidence has taken a dip due to allowing others opinions to affect me too much. Thanks for the encouragement to continue to move forward in pursuing goals despite the fact that it won’t always be easy.
Glad to enjoy your channel. I am learning English and I really enjoy the way you speak this beauriful language. So while I am learning about pshycology issues I am improving my english skills as well. You are doing a better world because women are the real miracle of this wolrd. thanks
Thanks so much for watching Juan!
Omg this was so good. Girl, you’re a badass. “Everyone is coming from their own perspective..” This was a life-altering shift for me. All of these points are SO right on. 10 years ago I was struggling with all these things. It took me hard work (and some easy work!!) to overcome my fears and even be able to hear and believe these mindset shifts. It’s why I do what I do now (teaching women my process) - because we NEED more women with the confidence to step into this world that badly needs their leadership and heart, and because I know how amazing it feels to go from that lack of confidence and insecurity to a place of steady comfort and self-assurance in our lives and work. Thank you for doing what you do and with such confidence! You are def NOT a dealbreaker for me! (Even if you don’t like affirmations. 😆)
I'm with you on that!! We need to offer support and leadership to other women who need it. We all are strengthened when one of us is strengthened.
@@velvetvoiceartist7733 Amen!
I already feel so much better about myself I'm Ready to get confident I suffer from depression and just watching this really helped me feel better about myself
We have to patiently go through the process of feeling awkward, uncomfortable and crappy until coming to becoming who we authentically are. Integrity needs time and pain and it is by all means worth it. Thank you.
I know that I'm young and that I still have so much to learn and experience but what you said made me realize something. I've slowly started to allow myself to recognize that I in fact have grown as a person... I've come so far from that starting point it almost brings a tear to my eye. Thank you so much for sparking that thought, it really does mean the world to me
Oh wow Datura Inoxia! This is amazing! HUGE congratulations to you for all the growth you've had in your journey. So good to have you here.
My foes talk me down, thanks. What u've just told me is that i'm not for them Julia a hug.
"Im not good enough to be a psychologist." Thats just something my family has hinted at in subtle ways and im not blaming them because at some point they must have believed that its just too much commitment for me. Sometimes i doubt it too but then i remind myself that its all i ever wanted to be, so ill do it and ill prove them wrong. and then ill finally be happy.
There's a guy called Tom Bayer (on Tom Bilyeu's channel), who said, and I believe him, that "A limiting belief is just a DECISION you made at some point." and "...limiting beliefs are ALL untrue."
Thank you so much for this. I’ve been thinking about dating again but keep thinking I’m not good enough or rich enough or whatever. Why not me. So what if I’m a dealbreaker for someone. People pleasing and perfectionism have got me into sooooooooooo much trouble. Thank you for helping me see these things and work on them.
Yassssss!! EXACTLY! High fives to you Soccer Mom - now get out there so an amazing man can find amazing you!
I have found that being a deal breaker for people has always turned out for the better. The few times I tried to make something of it bit me in the ass.
And with those where I was a deal maker, those relationships were awesome.
Like attraction, not everyone I find attractive, and it is nothing personal against them, it just is. Same for them. The great thing is with honesty about these things we don't end up wasting each other's time.
Absolutely! I love this. Thanks for sharing.
Definitely identified with both "the shortcut is the long cut" & "why not me?" I think I have some work to do.
You're Videos are really helping me get out of "here" as I assumed always to be Concrete. I just want to say a genuine thank you Kristina.
Let yourself be a dealbreaker....that's great advice
Definitely stepped into “Dealbreaker”.
It’s been difficult, but worth it.
Thank you!
So glad The Zoni - and don't worry, it gets easier and better!
I am definitely not confident in my dancing for example. I always told myself I couldn’t dance and I just won’t ever be able to. But now I’m learning that practice literally makes perfect.
Julia thank you so much for this video, you are inspiring, I am so unconfident due to having so many intimidating and hurtful people in my life. I totally feel like a shell of myself and are struggling with just being who I am. Don't know where or how to start with being confident. Love you're smile and beautiful way of getting the message through. I've thought about so many things I want to to do but am too afraid to communicate for fear of all that you've talked about.
Awesome video Julia. I'm a big fan of the channel, great content and really well presented.
Hey! That is so thoughtful of you - thanks for this!
I am ready to be a dealbreaker for some people and it feels so liberating I am so grateful for that! Thank you Julia :-)
having these mindset's really do help 101% all of the time thanks for the videos
SO grateful it connected!
Julia, your information is very on point. As a school counselor, I wish I could share your videos with my middle school students. You use the word "crap" which prevents me from sharing your expertise with them.
My trick to getting away with being happy that not everyone likes me is this;
Good, I don't like everyone either. Good, I've hated myself, I been disgusted with my self, I've been, I've been..
I also know the burden of hating, disliking, despising, etc others;
That's alot to carry for anyone. Besides, I'm not gonna typically judge or ridicule you if I myself have done it or would do it, even again.
Fact is, there needs to be a little bit of not liking to give you perspective and safety for self. You need that space and distance for an allowance for one's self during times of reflection and introspection.
Thank you, Julia Cristina! You are awesome therapist 🤗 Love your videos!
Hey Sav Anna! Good to connect with you and thank you for your super kind comment.
KRISTINA. , YOU. ARE. A DEAL. MAKER.....THANK YOU FOR SO MUCH INSPIRATION. YOU. ARE. TO ME...😘😘😘😘😘
Love this! I am most definitely a dealbreaker for ppl - & thats OK. I started giving myself permission to be OK with that a few years ago. I remind myself of that every once & while - but it has helped me be more confident in being me. Like it or lump it ...
Yasss Amy! Yas, yas, YASSSS!!
I was job hunting with a New Strategy the last 2 months. I am allowing myself to be a 'deal breaker'. If I have an obvious question about the job vacancy, I ASK! I have had the last couple of positions that were just not for ME. Too Much This/Not Enough That... Maybe because I wasn't being authentic going into it? No, I don't want to have the responsibilities of 3 people. No, I don't want to work in an environment that's not respected in the community where I fear for my safety on my lunch break in the park. No, I don't want to work without the resources I need for success every day. It's the first time I didn't get an offer with the 1st interview and accept that offer. I owe it to myself to be Real and to have my self-respect. There's an offer pending. I Love the Manager. I Love the Location. It's doing the Job I Love! Hope the Strategy is 'A Winner'! I hope I am valued and I am heard here. I hope 'Who I Am' Will Matter for Once. Fingers-crossed! ; )
The last part about not being liked by everyone is similar to marketing; successful businesses don't try to attract everyone on board, they focus on certain groups of people with similar interests and values because it is better to have some people who are loyal than a lot of people but they only come for the discounts. This is called target audience and segmentation
Hi Julia !! Your videos are very inspirational & down to earth!! Trying to get myself back to being my true happy self. Lost my self esteem. I’m not working right now. We lost my 18 yr. olds dad 1 1/2 years ago very sudden heart attack it’s been tough!! Have to stay strong for him. Building confidence is key 🙏
Really resignated to all of this. I just got to the I am not for everyone stage at my new church. I am ok with that and I find it very freeing! I am going to loveblast who wants to be in my life and not worry about the rest...lol...free indeed, thank you Jesus. It took me forever to get here. Thank you for this video.
Yes Debbie! So glad it connected. And isn't it so freeing?
So glad to have you here.
@@juliakristinamah I stood up for myself about someone using me and several people have grown distant. Wish I had never said anything now!
Hi Julia, I think that the only thing that I am good at is that I don't care what people think about me ,and I don't have to like to everyone. In am working on with the rest of the things that you said.. thanks for your help:)
The comment Deal Breaker resonant with me today. It reminds me of a guy I knew, we could sit in a room, look at each other, and couldn't figure out a thing to say to each other. We didn't hate each other. We just could not connect. We had a mutual friend that we both got along with really well. A little while later we connected as FB friends. Still don't have a lot to say to each other. But here's the funny thing. The comments we make to each other on FB posts have more meaning to each other than what we talk about with 80 % of people out there. I guess we just weren't built to connect with each other most of the time. So we don't put our efforts into that and connect on the rare occasions that it is meaningful for us. I'm really learning not to waste my time not to connect with people in hopes of another best friend, potential spouse, soulmate, etc., and just learn to connect the way we are supposed to connect. It's not important for me to connect to everyone.
I actually love that; we are not everyone's cup of tea. 'Cos there's orange pekoe, green, matcha green, chai, sleepy time, mint, fruit teas, passion teas... and every one is valid and enjoyable in it's own right, despite whether or not it is chosen by a passing consumer lol.
I enjoy all your videos and find them very helpful. I am quite comfortable with people not liking me and I am very honest with people when I don't mix well with them too. The secret? I value truth and actuality very highly. I am very honest with myself.
Thanks Julia this reaffirmed my confidence! I watch your videos so I can share with friends, my friends have really benefited from your self esteem videos.
I think the more we take esteem-able actions the more we like ourselves and it’s everybody else’s problem if they don’t like us because we know were in alignment Haven’t reached that yet just an aha moment I had!! Thanks Julia
Yes! What a powerful a-ha. Insight first, constructive action second. You've got this!
Julia Kristina Counselling another aha moment you don’t have to be perfect if you own up to your mistakes and try to do better 💥 you ROCK!! Thank you
Thanks for another great connection Julia! I recently started working for a new company. I keep stressing over the small things and I’m having trouble focusing because of it (becomes vicious circle). I really needed to hear absolutely everything you stated in this video.
Eric! New jobs are no joke. Trust yourself. Learning curves are called that for a reason. Give yourself grace and compassion and you will, no doubt, soar!
i wrote down all the fabulous stuff you just said. and tell me add it took way more pages then i expected! thanks for doing this. you bring a change!! :)
Oh awesome! That is a great way to integrate the information more efficiently. SO glad this connected.
You are a deal breaker for me and my family, thank you Julia!
I hope you mean deal maker A. Kalenik ;-) lol
@@juliakristinamah Yes, deal maker I tried to say. So sorry!! lol
I always felt like I am not good enough to be a leader, to speak up or give presentations. I always felt that I am not articulate enough, or that I am boring and incoherent when I talk. So I never took on leadership positions or speak up in front of crowds
I lot of myself hit me, thank you again
Absolutely Maria Moran - thanks for taking the time to say so.
love it..I am definitely trying to work through this...Why not me? so far I just feel unworthy or not good enough or not the right person or feel like I am going to be judged, the list goes on....I wasn't aware until recently that I need to practice and work through the hard stuff
Yes, Tammy, YES! Why NOT you! Can I ask what "good enough" even means??
@@juliakristinamah That is a really hard question...and all I can come up with is everyone else's expectations of good enough..hmmm...no wonder I'm struggling lol
@@tammy19681 Something to think about because there really isn't a definition. What I think instead is that good enough is a decision, not a destination, or defined by anyone else for us.
@@juliakristinamah True! I have been trying to say to myself "why not me?" It helps! Thank you :)
WOW Tammy! I'm gonna use "Why not me?" I love how it sounds and feels. (Let me know where I should send the royalty check lol)
Deal breaker - it's WORTH it 😎
This connected! I need to be honest and say that you weren't my cup of tea at first, simply because you reminded me of someone I'd known before who had bullied me and put me through a difficult time in my life. TH-cam kept recommending your videos to me anyway LOL So I decided to give your content more chances because a) it's quality advice and b) I need to forgive the person I mentioned earlier who had given me a hard time. Now I really think you are great Julia Kristina! Thank you for your counselling. It is helping me.
You are super likeable but apparently there are 33 people that didn't like this video and I don't like them either I truly enjoy your videos they helped me a lot thank you for taking the time to do these🤠🐕🌈🌄
Always wish I could upvote your videos more than once!
Nicholas - you are so ridiculously kind - thank you for ALL your love and support!
I am so grateful for all your info on utube.. thank you so much it has really changed my life
Love the song in the middle!! Making your way in the world today takes everything you got! Another great video!! Thank you Julia for these inspiration words!!
I haven't been able to see my counsellor this month which has been hard for me, but your videos, esp this one is super helpful! This channel is a keeper! SUBSCRIBED!! 🙂
Very encouraging and paradigm-shifting pointers. Worth listening to again and again. Would be good to have a quick visual summary of key points.
👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
So glad it connected Brilliant Photo! Thanks for your support.
Hi Julia, my name is Michael from Australia, thank you , you are beautiful in so many ways.
Danke! I respond well to your teachings. Im a ' Deal breaker + Deal maker ' & that's Perfect....Ty again
I've been watching your videos regularly and it's helping me get through a transition phase in my life. Really like the practical suggestions. Thanks a lot! 😊
I embraced this without knowing I had done it.
Dirty fingernails
Not around: through
Be only better than one person: myself.
Dare to F*** up and laugh at myself.
Dammit, I do to find out I can't.
I've got this.
Dare to be unpopular.
I am perfectly imperfect.
Sukha & sthira: gentle ease & resolute abiding
Your effervescence and sparkly energy brings such bitchin authenticity to you: I call THAT the greatest accessory from the grand-ultimate designer that money can't buy: Designer = JULIA KRISTINA!💜
Very few good or worthwhile things in life come without sacrifice and struggle.
I agree. And we usually appreciate things more when we have some skin in the game.
YOU, are my "Deal Maker"! 🤝 :)
Thanks Bill! That means so much to me!
Personnaly, I prefer therapists with an energetic and assertive voice. Keep up the good work :) xx
Thanks Catherine! Great to connect with you.
I stumbled across your channel and I love it! Your videos have been quite helpful. Thank you so much!
Julia thank you, I m so glad I found your videos, you help me a lot
i agree with your point about the "why not me" part. but it's also important to know who you are in order for your point to be true. When i first started in the workforce, i thought i wanted the have an executive role. Turns out it wasn't as luxurious as I imagined it to be. I don't like taking all the responsibilities for the team. Can i learn how to handle such position, yes, but i'll be miserable, and for what? to feed my ego? Anyways, still love your videos.
Thanks Julia. Excellent message. Nice singing @ 8:02
Haha - glad you liked that ;-)
Taking a break from all your worries sure would help a lot.
Julia, I have been watching your videos for sometime and they are amazing. This one in particular. This is something that myself follow, however, at times, life just seems to pull you back into your shell and you feel very low, and stressed. How do we deal with such situations.
This was amazing! First comment on youtube ever! Just wanted to share, I think I am a deal breaker for my mother in law. I was so afraid to face that fact but I think it's okay now. There's more I could do to just be myself now and let the chips fall where they may.
You have became my first instant best friend 🥰
"Why not me?"😊 a revolutionary question...
Can you please write a book with all your great video advice!?! Thank you!😊
I hope to one day Diane! (and I secretly already have a title for the book ;-) )
@@juliakristinamah Audiobook version would be awesome. Excellent video. Thank you.
This is a great video that has helped me so much ss i really needed to heat this. It has confirmed my feelings that you need to be positive in life when you want something and not let negative people get me down as were all only human. Ive been through so much and keep learning as i go along.And its ok to be yourself as i m an honest person and dont believe in putting on an act. And i agreewith you completely on all of this . Counsler Kristina Thank you so much for sharing this.
I always hated and dreaded public speaking. Back in school I would dread having to do speeches. Not to long ago I became certified to officiate weddings. I was still nervous even though I did my homework. I got feedback from co workers and they were surprised that it was my first time because I did it so well.
"Crossed the line?? You're so far PAST the line you can't even SEE the line, the line is a DOT to you."
(My superpower is reciting the full scene from Friends if you quote a line...try me...lol)
It’s not the destination it’s the journey.
What a blessing to stumble on you.
This is great, thanks for sharing!
Hey Nadirah - good to connect with you! So glad it resonated.
@@juliakristinamah Yes! Likewise!
I really liked this video all the wonderful things you said are really helpful thanks .I loved it when you started to sing .😍 That was cute .
you're such an inspiring person. just found out about your channel and already hooked.
I wish it would be easy to hold on these affirmations...
Thank you
It does get easier - you've got this!
Great video anytime you pop up in my feed for the day I know it's going to be a life changing video and today was no different! Thank you for this video especially the part where you said Why not me?, I am someone's deal breaker, but that's ok lol those tips gave me a key to locked doors in my brain and spirit. Thank you for the keys.
What am I afraid of? What I afraid to pursue is really working and using my company Kaila New York, I write, design, speak and motivate others, but it's hard for me to do all those things especially when no one responds to it or buys my products or asks me to speak. But at the same time after listening to your video I see it's because I don't say WHY NOT ME? I see everyone else doing it and i shrink. Do you have any advice? Thank you so much for doing what you are doing, much love. Kaila
Kaila - this is awesome. People will buy what you have to offer - the more you learn develop you speaking and teaching skills that more irresistible you'll be. Keep going, keep learning, keep growing. You've got this!
I’m very happy to find you , I’m learning a lot from you, thank you 🙏
Love, love, love it! Allow yourself to be a dealbreaker! I needed to hear that ! Thanks Julia :)
Great video, super advice. Thank you.
A great example of being " just not for them" are interviews. I'm more concerned about whether I would like working for them.
I’m a deal breaker 😃 this is a great reminder