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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 ส.ค. 2024
- After getting some more life experience, understanding, and insight, I noticed how I'd mentioned stuff in my videos that was unnecessarily negative about weight, so I wanted to offer an apology for that, and also for past comments that may have lumped all straight people together.
Sorry it's such a long video, and that my talking was slow or halting; I wanted to try to speak intentionally and with care on these complex topics.
The problem with sharing ourselves publically is that we will always upset someone, without intending to. It is hard to talk openly and be 100% exact with how we put our thoughts across, someone will always take it the wrong way, or a way we didn't intend. I do however appreciate your honesty and your vulnerability because we should all constantly check ourselves for any prejudices we might be blind to. I have said things on my own videos in the past, that I didn't realize were problematic and I'm grateful for people pointing them out. I've also said things that I no longer agree with. However, I wouldn't erase my past videos, because it shows how I have evolved and that is what is important, that we are all free to make mistakes and learn from them. You have always been a gentle, kind and considerate man, and I don't think you have anything to apologize for. Thank you for such a transparent and refreshing video.
aw thank you so much, Finn! I feel honored that someone as famous as you ;) watches my videos and comments! :) haha. Thank you, I really appreciate what you said.
Thanks for being vulnerable (especially on the internet) talking through these apologies. Whether needed or not, I agree with you on it being healthy to see folks work through changing their minds, growing, and verbalizing ways in which their consciousness and consideration on various topics shift over time. It shows true strength and character ;)
thank you so much!
No need to apologize you didn't do anything wrong
From CXG (a show I absolutely love(d)): Life is a gradual series of revelations.
And you know, *as a fat person* I get how not wanting to gain weight is a valid desire.
Now also, *as a fat person* I have negative social interactions which are unnecessary.
The worst parts are when people try "helping" me cuz my physical is indeed not great.
But what they don't get is that my mental health is so much more critical right now.
Thanks for being sincere. It’s always scary to look at comments on videos about fat phobia. I’ve been paralyzed for years from being fat and I have loathed myself since I was a kid, even when I was underweight. A lot of people are afraid of being fat and getting fat. While it may sting to hear it, I wouldn’t judge you for having that fear. Fear is just fear and your own experience is your own. I have had dysphoria about my chest since I was a kid and I’ve always had large nipples and boobs. I’m not trans but it’s always made me feel like less of a man. I’m 380 lbs now and have been over 300 lbs most of my life except in college. It’s hard to describe just how much the identity of being fat or what many people will call “obese” engulfs a person. I just wanted to share. Good luck.
Also Contrapoints has a really old video where she goes over this same issue pretty sensitively and goes over her own fear of becoming fat. It’s just not an easy thing to talk about. It reminds me of one of her videos where she says that the thing people have against non passing trans people is simply disgust. And she goes on to say “and I recognize that disgust instantly because it’s the exact same disgust I had for myself.” I think that quote is from Gender Critical. I have a pretty strong disgust for myself and for fatness and probably always will. And I’d say 99% of people save those that fetishize fat people also feel the disgust. It’s gonna take decades and it may never change. But we will see. Anyway I’m done commenting now lol. Thanks again for the sincerity and don’t beat yourself up. You’re good people.
thank you, I really appreciate your comment. thank you for sharing your experience and difficulties. I appreciate your thoughtful response.
I think there’s a really significant difference in not wanting to gain weight as it may trigger dysphoria. I certainly wouldn’t think that was fat phobia unless there was more to it.
Strangely I found some dysphoria got worse (waist/hip) and some better (chest in particular) when I lost weight (about 45kg).
But the one that was affected most of all, and was completely unexpected, was my ability to pass (pre-t) went from most of the time to almost none of the time. Kind of sucked to be really happy as my health was so much better and yet suddenly get misgendered all the time.
Hi. I’ve recently found your site. And to be frank, enjoyed watching your growth and change as a human being. I think back on certain views I held about 10 years ago and I’ve changed as well. We are humans. Change is inevitable and as long as we work on having our hearts in a good place-life is good.🧞♀️. Oh and maybe instead of “apologies” call these “reflections”. All my best!
thank you, I really appreciate that!
Good to see you. Hope all is well now despite all the madness going on right now. Take care and stay safe. 😊❤️
I have watched almost all ur videos and I have never heard u say anything offense. You have always been respectful of others in my opinion. Theres nothing wrong with someone saying they hope they dont gain weight. We each have a right to feel how we want to feel and state it to whomever we want. If someone is offended for that, then they need to just stop. Things r getting out of hand with everyone being offended about everything. Ur a nice guy and if someone cant see that, they're blind!!!! I support u fully. Like u said, this channel is about your experiences. Your changes be it physical or mental or whatever. We all have the right to change our minds and grow and change anything about ourselves that we want. This whole trans experience is craaaazzzzyy...I am trans so i can say that! I have grown and changed in ways I never saw coming. It's just a natural thing. Anyways take care and dont worry about what people say.
This isn't related to the video, but I hope you come back because I really miss you! lol
I've been watching your channel since 2014 and I just enjoy your content a lot.
Awesome video! I worry that I seem fat phobic, or rather uphold societies view that thin is more desirable, when I post about workouts or post shirtless pics on my social media. Haven’t found a good way to address this since working out does help with my dysphoria and also I’m kinda proud... so I don’t want to just not do it either.
Hey Anton, your body is not fat phobic. ;)
Hope you are doing well 😊❤️
all human beings judge and make judgements, it is what makes us flawed, everyone does it.
Hey Allen! Happy New Year 2021!
🥂🍾🐞🍀 I hope, you are doing fine and everything is well! Have a good time and take care. Greetings from Europe.
I miss your videos.
Would love to see an update from you. If you ever need a cuddle bear let me know 😜lol
Much love to ya...
“Please Pause...” perfectly stated-
Hi! I was just wondering, how old are you? Thanks, I love your videos.
Thank you! I know your comment is from a super long time ago, but to answer your question, I am now 40, in 2022.
Regarding your straight dating comments, I agree and don't think you said anything wrong at all...but i'm also 30, so just old enough to remember the days when we could go on debate forums or debate friends and still be friends with one another, even if things got heated. Now people having a different opinion has people no longer willing to be friends...it's like political narcissism or some word i'm trying to make up that means 'i only like people if they have the exact same opinions as i do and cannot see other sides or empathize with people'.
I made it on hetero tinder for a WEEK. Put me in searches for women and just put i'm a trans guy. Much better. I'd been going about it all wrong. 95% of straight identified women simply won't be interested. And to filter for bisexual women, putting myself as a woman did exactly what i wanted. The lesbians are going to swipe left, and bisexual women have men and women selected (generally) and ime have been the women I get along with most. They seem to enjoy more lax gender roles too. 8)
Seriously, some people take offense to anything. Don't feel bad about just sharing your fears - my husband starves himself so he doesn't get his man-boobs back.