You loved some of our other videos on this topic... so thought I'd share the 3 BEST pieces of advice I've heard on relationships. Remember, all there's ONE common denominator to EVERY relationship you've had in the past, are in currently, or might have in the future.... YOU! That's why when you shift into the highest version of yourself, ALL your relationships improve. We've helped hundreds of people this year alone just like you create and shift into that 2.0 version of themselves using Identity Shifting. Want some more info? Wondering if it's for you? Check out this free vid that'll fill ya in a bit more ➡ www.clarkkegley.com/free-case-study?sl=yt-relationship
We often want what is peculiar and we cannot fully define ourselves without the help of an outsider's perspective. So I rephrased it for myself: "We attract what we want, we mirror our identity to the ideal person, in the process our ex-identity is over shallowed by our newer portrayed persona, that's why I think what we attract is often different from what we are, we start to see different shades of ourselves through the other person and through realization within ourselves."
As my father in law once said, "Live your own life, and look next to you, and you might just find someone going the same path as you, and that's a good start." I think this is the best way to find a "compatible" mate. Honestly you don't have to be compatible, to love, because you can love anyone, but it may be work. So to find someone along the same path, makes it much easier.
Keep working on yourself. But also know that you’re perfect the way you are and you can be love just is. Despite all the flaws. You love yourself no matter what you are right now unconditionally or where you’re going to be. And know that others can and is going to appreciate and love you the same way. Through the journeys. Through the struggles. You are giving thanks and gratitude for all the abundance you currently have and you are drawing more to. You are bettering yourself for yourself and your loved one, a conscious committed dedication and devotion. Everybody wins.
Attraction alone is not enough. Just because you _feel_ good with someone, doesn't mean you can build a healthy long-term relationship. You need to align on values, respect one another, and have good communication. Well said Clark.
Yeah, definitely. My ex and I were attracted to each other, but our ideas of what it takes to make a relationship work didn't align. I believed that a good friendship, having the same values are key, not infatuation. A lot of people are super into infatuation because of Hollywood, Korean dramas. The world isn't the movies.
You're so right. You must also have shared values, emotional maturity, a shared vision and blendable lifestyles. I learned this the hard way. Chemistry and mutual attraction are not enough to start a RELATIONSHIP. Chemistry and mutual attraction are just enough to DATE to determine if you have the other components. The purpose of Dating is to learn about each other, to determine if you should even pursue a long term Relationship.
Been married 35 years now and the number one thing that ALL relationships MUST have before love and friendship, for a lasting relationship is "RESPECT". If you do not have respect for each other then love and friendship will not carry you.
I always say comprehension is more important. You can communicate all you want but allowing yourself in the shoes of your partner to understand things from their perspective, even if the communication is not that effective on the other end, will make things easier to solve and to live by.
How are you my dear I can help you with any type of spell Feel free to receive my help remember a problem shared is a problem solved don’t keep your problem to your self share it with me and get it solved I can help you out with any type of spell such as : Love spell Binding spell Pregnancy spell Healing Breaking of curse Return to sender spell Evil eye removal and Cleansing spell Heal disease spell Weight loss spell Etc
How are you my dear I can help you with any type of spell Feel free to receive my help remember a problem shared is a problem solved don’t keep your problem to your self share it with me and get it solved I can help you out with any type of spell such as : Love spell Binding spell Pregnancy spell Healing Breaking of curse Return to sender spell Evil eye removal and Cleansing spell Heal disease spell Weight loss spell Etc
I am the right person! Why does EVERY WOMAN! think she is sooooooo much better an EVERYMAN ON EARTH!!! when did this happen ?? That every man is a loser bum overgrown teenage worthless person Women choose there men at the finish line in life. An think that her baby making parts give her some magic key to screw over any guy.
“10’s attract 10’s - Not just looks wise but energetically, lifestyle wise, communication wise, value wise, job wise, social circle wise - you don’t attract who you want you attract who you are”
This right here 💖💖 But how many mes can I attract? 😂 cos I had that person then we had to break up cos the circumstances weren't so favouring..distance but I do hope I'll meet them one day. Even tho they legit talked about "getting another girl" right when we were saying our forlorn goodbyes...my heart😂 It bled
Not to rain on the parade but that's not good advice it sounds nice and driving but doesn't mean much. It gives the idea that if someone tells you something you don't like them blindly ignore them. And in a relationship sense it's not good to listen to everyone but it's also terrible to not listen at all. If someone who loves you have it be dad,brother,sister,mother best friend or watever it offering experience wisdom it's best to have an open mind.
I never played any relationship games. I was my authentic self from day one, and I share everything. I knew I was going to marry my wife after our first date, and I told her on our second date. She thought I was nuts, but we've been married for 17 years.
I’ve been told by 2 guys that they want to marry me early on but they always fell through. I guess times have changed and people love bomb to get what they want. Now I will never talk to anyone who says they want to marry me early on.
One of the most TOXIC beliefs around relationships is that there is one right person for everyone. I've been married for 21 years (8/19). Love is WORK. It might be rainbows and unicorns for the first 6 months, but eventually, as you mentioned, those immediate feelings fade. My husband and I married when I was 19 and he was 18. When people are in a marriage, they can grow together or they can grow apart. Either way they are growing. Love is definitely a choice in a lot of ways. Now, of course if your spouse is abusive or dismissive, then working on the relationship may not be worth it and might be futile. However, if we aren't working on our relationship by loving each other every day and making that person feel loved, what are we doing? It's definitely a two-way-street, but over the years, one of us definitely has more energy to give at times than the other. We hold each other up and help each other be our best selves. We've been through a lot and there's no one I'd rather spend my life with than my husband.
Best relationship advise I ever got was, "Don't look for the right person, become the right person for YOURSELF and the right person will be drawn to you"
How are you my dear I can help you with any type of spell Feel free to receive my help remember a problem shared is a problem solved don’t keep your problem to your self share it with me and get it solved I can help you out with any type of spell such as : Love spell Binding spell Pregnancy spell Healing Breaking of curse Return to sender spell Evil eye removal and Cleansing spell Heal disease spell Weight loss spell Etc
@@ChillinLikeBobDyllan trust that. I took a year to myself and told myself to embrace being single for this period and just work on myself. Just casually enjoying myself out with a friend one day, the best woman I could’ve asked for came up and found me. Good things find you when you stop looking so hard
Thankyou for saying "you dont attract things you want, you attract things you are" cause that taught me alot. I understood more. Thankyou! And also "stop looking for the right person, start becoming thr right person" have a good day yall!:)
How are you my dear I can help you with any type of spell Feel free to receive my help remember a problem shared is a problem solved don’t keep your problem to your self share it with me and get it solved I can help you out with any type of spell such as : Love spell Binding spell Pregnancy spell Healing Breaking of curse Return to sender spell Evil eye removal and Cleansing spell Heal disease spell Weight loss spell Etc
“Start becoming the right person” literally 7 mos after I started working out I felt way more open and at ease. Thinking abt relationships didn’t fill me with as much anxiety. Had a lot of firsts from then. I’m 19 and still figuring stuff out but I’ll forever live by this rule. :)
Yessssir, keep on going! I started working out every second day while completing NNN and bruh lemme tell you what a confidence boost that had on me, since I was doing it for myself! And like a miracle, a month later I got together with the girl I've been crushing on for 2 years without even THINKING of needing to be in a relationship. We're still going as strong as ever and as cheezy as it sounds, work on yourself, and become the right person like you've been doing the past few months. You'll gain confidence like drinking water and damn is it a good road to travel
How are you my dear I can help you with any type of spell Feel free to receive my help remember a problem shared is a problem solved don’t keep your problem to your self share it with me and get it solved I can help you out with any type of spell such as : Love spell Binding spell Pregnancy spell Healing Breaking of curse Return to sender spell Evil eye removal and Cleansing spell Heal disease spell Weight loss spell Etc
Wow I was having thoughts about it.. If compatibility and love have their own parts like yes you can fall in love but the Compatibility part got me. When love happens and you see what interests the other I m sure the other partner will too have patience and also work on the their own selves or icks they get from each other and then the compatibility part just happens with effort and time almost like cultivating the love and fondness resulting with good rapport/compatibility.
Being "in love" isn't Love, it's infatuation. Notice it happens before people actually get a chance to truly know each other. And you can't love somebody without knowing them. Loving someone for real is a choice you make everyday. Infatuation while often a precursor for the real thing, is also a precursor for the very opposite
Soooooo true! Most ppl don’t realize the difference between infatuation and love. I wonder how many ppl in this crazy century are lucky enough to even feel real LOVE at least once in their lives. Infatuation is self-centered projection. Love is altruism and faith.
Well said. Loving someone is a choice (for a person) and a vow (4fidelity) you make to yourself "to be" with that person in every way every day. You must respect and love the other just like you would like to be respected and loved. If you want to not be cheated than don't cheat, if you want to be respected than respect, if you want to be understood then understand and if you want your relationship not to fail make sure the other person has the same values as you. A relationship stages should be: friendship, confiding, mutual goals, physical contact and the last one should be sex (just like the cherry on the cake) only when you are sure you want a family with that person because nothing could change your mind and you are both set on being as one. A child is both parents as one... if anything had or will come between his parents that child will suffer in some way the consequences, so make sure you will always love the other part of your child (your partner). Also fidelity is something transcendent that doesn't apply only to the future. As their child, would you like to know that your parents had other lovers before they meet each other ... don't think so. Because cheating can be done before you meet someone you'll love, just as after. The rest are excuses.
Love is a choice. Love is not a feeling or emotion. When someone says they “fell out of love”, they don’t understand this reality: it was not love in the 1st place. They simply choose not to be with that person any more. This is totally unromantic but its a fact. Love is always a choice.
@@Mr.Honest247 I totally feel you. Check in with your energy as your manifesting. Is it too strong? Is there a strong attachment to the outcome? Are you TRUSTING that it really is on its way? Are you letting go? When we are manifesting from a place of lack, our energy can feel needy/clingy. This could cause a repulsion effect to what we are desiring. Honestly the letting go, is the key that most people are missing in their manifestation techniques. I mean think about it… someone that is desperate for your attention is normally pretty unattractive. But if they are rooted in their own confidence then 🔥🔥 I hope all that made sense
When issues develop in a relationship, many people consider leaving. But I've learned that it's critical to talk about and work on relationships on a daily basis. Especially if you really love the person, but I get it sometimes it’s hard. So, for those times we use lovify’s couple games, to share our expectations. We are now trying to open up about topics we previously avoided ❤
This is so true! I’ve been in love with my fiancé for 12 years.. he feels like home to me. He’s my safe space and my person. He drives me mad.. a lot. We bicker.. a lot! But we also resolve our problems, laugh & truly WANT to be together. We have brought 4 children into this world and got through really horrible and hard moments within our relationship. Love absolutely is a choice.. and I choose him every single day, in every reality, in every lifetime.
"Being in love is kinda easy." It always has been for me! I love so many people passionately. It doesn't mean I see a viable relationship with them. I would only pursue romance if I could have meaningful conversations with them, want to experience life with them, and work well together. Looks are at the bottom of what I value in relationships.
How are you my dear I can help you with any type of spell Feel free to receive my help remember a problem shared is a problem solved don’t keep your problem to your self share it with me and get it solved I can help you out with any type of spell such as : Love spell Binding spell Pregnancy spell Healing Breaking of curse Return to sender spell Evil eye removal and Cleansing spell Heal disease spell Weight loss spell Etc
@@suzehartman the answer to this is already in the video! Remember that when you’re “in love,” you’re looking through those rose-colored glasses that block out the logical considerations of your brain. Really taking a step back and analyzing who the other person is, as well as talking to a close friend (who’s unbiased) or family member about the other person would be a great start too. Overall, when you feel madly attracted to someone, your brain is going to tune out the potential red flags, and you’re going to emotionally throw caution to the wind. Talk to people who are impartial, and think deeply about what you’re doing!
You're describing a piece of poetry I wrote. "Infatuation is the force that drives people together. It's both passionate and fervant, its presence fierce and fast. Like-mindedness is rarer, much more precious, withstands weather. Friendship is the footing of relationships that last."
I'm going to watch this whenever I get in my feels, lying awake at night, missing someone who doesn't miss me whatsoever. I'm tired of holding onto the past, and I'm definitely tired of hurting inside. I need to understand that life is not all about love. It's time I start spending my days bettering myself and not waiting around for something unrealistic to come along. Thank you very much for this advice! 🙏
great advice in its own right! good idea, i’m there right now. not sure what this “relationship” i’m in now is. most likely nothing. seems like she really isn’t interested.
Yeah, I've been working on myself very hard the past three months and considering a relationship with a lady who I might otherwise have thought was out of my league. We'll see. Aim high, right?
Romantic love may not be “the most important thing,” but even after watching this video I still truly believe love is the most important thing. Love keeps us going. Love is helping others. Love is doing things that fully benefit someone who isn’t yourself. Believing in love is believing in God without knowing it.
Based on your own definition of romatic love you have a point. Take into consideration that many people don' t have a clear concept of 'romantic love' and don't reflect on it They often confound it with lust, look at it in terms of getting instead of giving etc... So it all boils down to having the same understanding what constitutes 'romantic love'.
I think people tend to forget when reading something as declarative as “Love is the most important thing”, that that is simply one’s opinion, and many different people have many different views on life. I personally don’t believe love is the MOST important thing, but the people who think that way are some of the happiest
5 months after my last breakup with whom I thought was the one. Still hurts sometimes(mostly because I have regrets). Gotta say... loneliness hits hard when you feel you are not good enough for yourself, so to anyone feeling the same. Keep trying to fall in love with yourself, focus on yourself. That is the way.
I think that's a good sign to work on yourself and to stay out of relationships for a while. Being content and happy alone (being good enough for yourself, as you described it) are the most important gifts you can give yourself. We've been sold a shit bill of goods in the phrase "you complete me" when in reality we are the only ones who can complete ourselves. And if we don't take that time we'll constantly search for others to do it for us... Aka codependence. Cry, meditate, pray, allow your pain to speak and tell you why it exists and move on when you're ready. And know when you do heal you've become a stronger and better version of yourself.
How are you now? I’m 1 month into a breakup and feel good sometimes and extremely lonely other times. I just want to love myself and feel good alone. We were in love but we weren’t compatible. It’s almost winter also so I’m kind of dreading doing it alone but I know when spring blooms, I will be a totally new man ❤
I recently met a guy who had all of the attributes I normally wish I could find but his energy was really off because of trauma. We spoke in great depth about why he needs time to heal. Timing is everything. Be cautious of letting emotions guide your actions. Self control is a blessing✨
Maybe that guy is recovering from a bad breakup, if he voiced it out to you and openly expressed that he needs time to heal then that shows that he’s a good person, you two may not be ready to be together but at least he’s showing enough maturity and honesty to work on himself.
Same situation I'm in a complicated relationship with a guy actually he was my school crush 😂, but we met again, he has some trauma his going through and same here me too that's why it's complicated cause we both afraid of falling in love again but actually we both enjoys eachother company very much. I don't know what will happen but I'm really hoping best for both of us
My husband and I have been together since I was 15, him 17. It’s been 12 years together, 5 married. We are both proud of how we operate as a couple but don’t really identify with many other couples. This is the absolute best advice I’ve heard! I’ve had to battle other people’s views on relationships from purity culture to “don’t marry young” and everything between. This is officially my go-to video I send friends looking for advice. 😎
How are you my dear I can help you with any type of spell Feel free to receive my help remember a problem shared is a problem solved don’t keep your problem to your self share it with me and get it solved I can help you out with any type of spell such as : Love spell Binding spell Pregnancy spell Healing Breaking of curse Return to sender spell Evil eye removal and Cleansing spell Heal disease spell Weight loss spell Etc
Can I ask you a question. Has there been any moments where you wanted to give up because your hurt or you broke up because you were hurt but than got back together ?
Odd… “purity culture” or most Christians I know (especially women) think it’s the end of the world or they’ll never get married if they don’t find their spouse in college.
I've known a guy like that, he's currently 30 years old, Virgin and never been in a relationship but he's very nice person to be around and talk to. Don't do what it is said above
I’ve been in so many relationships and I’m only 24. Never given myself the chance to truly enjoy being single. Watching this video really reinforces a lot of opinions and thoughts I have had.
Still breaks my heart a thousand times over that my ex and I genuinely loved each other and put it honest effort but were just not compatible. But over the last two years I’ve done all I can to better myself and be good to others. Everything in this vid is true.
Same. I loved someone who would not come out of the closet and was desperate to appease their religious family. I got tired of being hidden. It's definitely not enough to love someone. An incompatibility can ruin a relationship.
Maybe you just weren’t ready for each other. Maybe later in life you will be ready for each other. When love is real it cannot be broken. Sometimes it just takes time to catch up with each other they you both need to. And maybe there is someone who is way more suited for you. You never know. Just don’t give up hope. Hope your heart heals soon.
This video is the most realistic piece of advice ever on internet! Half of our lives , we spend on watching videos on how to bring someone back chasing you ? How to play hard to get ? And so on but once you understand the concept of deep bonding and learn love like the previous generation, you'll loose interest in people who plays games and so will you hardly have any interest on those videos , etc !
The best advice I've heard was "You can love anybody as long as you're willing to love them, emotions change don't base your relationship off of love but instead off of how they will help you improve yourself and vice versa"
Relationships are hard work. I can not change myself for another person . I'm happy alone and content. I need nothing . What a great life . At peace always.
But… still you are on here. I’m not meaning that as a slight, but there must be a part of you that knows you wouldn’t say no if the right person came along.
That's the biggest problem in relationships. Not being yourself and them not being themselves and after a while, the real comes out and incompatibility is undeniable.
“Success is mental” best advice I’ve ever gotten. I’ve been through a lot and if you just tell yourself you’re okay and you do things that make you happy and you just say that pain doesn’t exist then it won’t, you’ll only feel how you think you feel
i kinda get where that is coming from but telling yourself that certain pain doesn't exist can lead to you bottling everything up and then it gets *really* dangerous. it's okay to acknowledge that you're in pain and work on it without letting it control your life. you don't have to be okay all the time to be successful.
How are you my dear I can help you with any type of spell Feel free to receive my help remember a problem shared is a problem solved don’t keep your problem to your self share it with me and get it solved I can help you out with any type of spell such as : Love spell Binding spell Pregnancy spell Healing Breaking of curse Return to sender spell Evil eye removal and Cleansing spell Heal disease spell Weight loss spell Etc
My definition of love is wanting to be by that person and have a special connection with them, but to also be able to function regularly even if they aren’t by u
Just got out of a 3 year relationship and have been trying not to kick myself for stepping away from someone I was so deeply in love with and who loved me hard. But you really described a lot of what I was feeling and why i couldn’t see it working out. Its tragic that “love is half the battle” but its so so true. The advice on “become the right person” was exactly what I needed to hear. This video randomly came up for me but I’m glad it did!
This is what my parents warn me about. That if you pick the wrong person and love that person, it will hurt to leave them. Their advice is to make a list of non-negotiables that are heavily based on logic and yes and no answers. Things like, do they want kids. What is their religious faith etc, then you can build love on top of that. If you fall in love with someone that doesn't meet your non-negotiables, your relationship is already a failure. It's only a matter of time before the love can't cover for that non-negotiable.
Omg… you’re a genius… And that’s exactly what I am going through. To be the best version of myself - I need to grow up and try different things those are not me. Wow!!! Great job!!!!
“You cannot be protected from the things that frighten you and hurt you, but if you identify with part of your being that is responsible for transformation, then you are always equal or more than equal of the things that frighten you” Keep you head up 💜
I learned the hard way that love ≠ compatibility. I was SO compatible with my guy best friend & we convinced ourselves it would be smart to be in love. We fell out in 2 years because it was always supposed to be platonic from the beginning. After a year of taking a break we’re finally best friends again. But what a hard journey to go through
Not a relationship expert, yet spits incredible advice on it. There’s something about this dude that’s gravitating. Best subscriptions I’ve got on TH-cam and I’m a devout Muslim. Alhamdulillah ❤️
Relationships are significantly more about creating something with someone rather than finding the perfect partner. Find someone you think is attractive, that you can trust, that you maybe share some ambitions with, and then put the effort into creating your relationship. Throwing beautiful colors at each other will make a masterpiece much less often than using a brush and placing those colors where you truly believe they make sense.
You are the one who made me change my life just by believing in me that I worth everything and I can do anything, working as a chef assistant to having my dream job working as a manager. 47 Kg low weight to 55 Kg perfect weight. Never being able to communicate my feelings, to being able to put myself out with confidence. Still learning and trying to get to know myself better. This is a massage for everyone out there YES you can do this. By the way I listen to your affection (love, health, wealth in 21 days) I was jobless at the time when I started listening every morning, and keeping myself in happy frequency for all day, I got job only in 15 days it wasn't easy but consistence make it happen. Still learning, working hard to shape myself and my life for batter. Lots of love and wishes for you keep it up. You are awesome. Stop settling start living 😍
I was a hopeless romantic for a long time. I searched for other people's love, instead of my own. "Love" is NOT the same thing as "healthy." In the old version of myself, I was obsessive. Tried to force feelings for someone, then when I genuinely realized them, I tried to control everything out of fear of losing that person. Never actually lost love from anyone; they've always loved me, but I was in a toxic mindset so I didn't believe in myself. I thought I couldn't be in a healthy relationship; that the negative patterns would follow. Fear. That's one thing that "love" should never be. Glad that videos like this are out there to touch on the "wrong" and "right" reasons for relationships. ALWAYS respect yourself and others, and good things will follow :)
Love this advice! It’s not telling you how to date or how to “succeed” in relationships. It’s about truth and looking out for yourself in relationships.
I’m currently on my second relationship that I’ve ever had in my life and I’m 25 and I approached each one very differently. The relationship I have now I started off with rose colored glasses on and I learned very early to let go but mainly work on myself a lot more and the advice is so true I can’t even explain it. And since my partner had started seeing me start to level up and work on myself, he slowly started to level up with me too and it was nice to see
I also started off my relationship with Rose coloured glasses, now I am focussing on myself more and levelling up, I see him wanting to do the same. I’ve definitely been slacking, it’s so important to keep developing yourself when you’re in a relationship because it’s so easy to stay still and be comfortable. I prioritised my partners life/problems over myself at one point.
I've been making some massive strides in my life this year, and my 3 year relationship just fell apart over Christmas because she was too afraid of her insecurities to 'level up' beside me. I'm glad there's a success story out there.
How are you my dear I can help you with any type of spell Feel free to receive my help remember a problem shared is a problem solved don’t keep your problem to your self share it with me and get it solved I can help you out with any type of spell such as : Love spell Binding spell Pregnancy spell Healing Breaking of curse Return to sender spell Evil eye removal and Cleansing spell Heal disease spell Weight loss spell Etc
Absolutely right Clark. I used to look at it as I want to attract the right woman. Now I’ve learned to just be. Just be an allow. Nothing more nothing less.
I always said “I’m a whole person, I don’t need someone to complete himself with his half”, been dating, few relationships, but only when I started my last relationship with my partner I realized that he’s a whole personality as well, and we go together on the same path, we want the same things, we like the same things. And we both are beautiful 😂that helps too!
Clark is one of the few youtubers I actually find sincere and helpful. you can tell he likes the inner work and is just sharing to benefit others not for some specific outcome. anyway i only have gratitude for this channel.
I'm so happy to say this I wouldn't have done it if not for the God's sent man that helped me with my relationship thank you once again,his channel ( Dr osayande great powerful healer )
This video came at just the right time. I’ve been aware of my own obsessions and on dating sights like a maniac. It’s disturbing. Thank you for this- sending to my girl friends!
Dang that bit about falling in love being easy really hit hard. I remember I went to a party with a coworker who was getting divorced and we all got super drunk and ended up crashing at a mutual friends house. We shared the couch together and then BOOM one month later we’re dating and BANG three months later we broke up
Facts. Change ur frequency. We attract what we think, feel & know. Yes, these are all different. Live as if it's done. Walk in the I want or need mode. Operate in a gratitude mindset. We manifest more than we're aware of. Challenge self to became a better version of me yesterday in all things.
I’ve learned, just in the past few months, that you can love someone but not want to be with them. I still love my ex husband, but I feel no sort of attachment to him. My love for him stems solely from time. We’ve known each other since we were kids. Compared to what it “used to be”, now I see him as a life long friend.
This my struggle now. I just want to be single but I stay for my kids. I don’t want to be in a relationship but don’t want to hurt her my girlfriend. At the same time I feel like I’m doing wrong by her by not leaving so she can be happy and find the right partner. She keeps bringing up marriage and I’m just not into it. I love her but not in love with her.
I had more compatibility than love, which in turn became strong love. Being young and “damaged” as a lot of us are I thought I was trapped into this relationship, only to see we were meant for each other and only continue to GROW together.
You can't know if it's real love until you've been through some trials together, and come out stronger. If you come out weaker, watch out. Preferably some pretty challenging and awful trials. Don't get married until you've had a couple of bad trials. Life is hard, so you have to know if you can do this as a team or not. Attraction comes and goes in real love, then comes back again, then goes away and comes again.
Whoa 🤯 good video! Lately I’ve realized sometimes in a relationship Love isn’t enough. Sometimes you’re on different paths, you want different futures or you see the world differently, you may be in love but it doesn’t make everything else right 🥺
This shit hits home. Had to break up with someone I was head over heels in love with for 5 months. Afterthe honeymoon phase wore off and the excitment and butterflies of love, I realised we weren't as compatable as I thought. Shit hurt to break up with someone I seen my future with and having this realisation in the space of like a week. Worst part was hurting a girl I genuinly loved and care for and still care for when I never thought I would, she did not deserve that. Suppose thats life, all learning and experiences until you find what is right for you.
In the end it's better to find a girl thats compatable, that helps you on your path . Im with a girl like that and i was LOVE but didnt last long BC i realize we're not compatable
You people are so lost and delusional. This generation doesn't know what is fighting anymore. In the very first little frustration, disappointment or if things aren't perfect or aren't your way, you just give up. Só fooking sad.
Kinda really hard for me to believe that you were in love… do you know what love is? Love never dies, and love becomes pain and agony when you are not with the person you love. For the rest of your life.
Your advice falls in line with everything my parents tell me. My parents are in a very happy and successful marriage. August will be their 32nd anniversary. When I asked my dad for advice about marriage, he said that the number one reason why marriages fail is because people pick the wrong people and build a beautiful bond with them. Then 10 years later, they're divorcing and wonder where they went wrong. They went wrong when they chose to go on a second date with someone they're incompatible with. My mom said, most people chose their partners based on emotions. You should choose your partners based on logic first then let the emotions forge the bond. She said that you can fall in love with just about anyone if you put in the effort because we humans are meant to fall in love. Her advice to picking the right partner is to have your list of "non-negotiables" and pick the partner based on those non-negotiables. She said that the list shouldn't have anything superficial like looks. It should be based on things that are important in marriage. She also said that the list should be yes or no answers because if they are subjective, then it gives room for illogical emotions to sway your decision. For example, your list can be 1) Believe in >insert religion< 2) wants kids 3) health conscience 4) Financially stable enough to support a family Once you create your list, you should pass up people who don't check all of the boxes. Once you meet people who check all of the boxes, then you can work on building the romance. My parents also said that attractiveness shouldn't be that important. They said the only thing that should matter in terms of attractiveness is if you can see yourself having sex with this person and having an orgasm. They said that as you fall in love, that person will become more and more attractive to you. They also said that you will grow older and become less attractive, so if you place emphasis on physical appearance and build a bond where attractiveness is on top of the list, your bond will fade as your partner gets less attractive.
When they go through similar things they can also be attracted especially when it's something really hard. If they don't get help they can go through a series of events of constant fighting.
“Instead of looking for the right person, become the right person.” Hadn’t heard this advice but this is exactly what I did in the 2 years that I was single before meeting my now boyfriend. That and the “avoid getting into a relationship”. I knew what I wanted from a future partner. I’ve never been one to date for fun, I wanted my life long partner so I acted like how I would want them to act. I trained myself into being my ultimate partner. An example is that whenever someone attractive on social media would catch my eye I would scroll instead of look. I know myself and I know I wouldn’t be able to handle a partner whose eyes would wander, so I made sure mine wouldn’t either. This is important because even if you find YOUR ultimate partner, it doesn’t mean you’re theirs. You could meet the love of your life, but if you haven’t worked on being a good partner then it can still go bad. So after working on things like that it came to a point where I could say with a 100% certainty that I would date myself AND be happy with how I acted. After 2 years of working on myself and correcting myself as if I were already in a relationship I met him. And this is the part that will probably motivate you if you’re reading this; he was exactly like me. He had the same mentality, boundaries, etc. It was a match that I could’ve only dreamed of. Of course I worked on more things but going along with my example from earlier: he didn’t follow any ig models, his tiktok was only filled with funny videos, he respected girls and didn’t objectify them, etc. He is all that and the best part is that I deserve him. Not only did I get who I wanted but I also deserve the man I want because I was loyal even before I met him. Before him I would of course explore my options with people who I came across but with all of them I knew within a week that it wouldn’t be anything because I knew what I wanted. With him the connection was SO strong that we’ve basically been together since day one. I suspected it in the first few days but after a month of knowing him I knew he was the person I had worked so hard for. Meeting someone and clicking is cool but meeting some, clicking, knowing that that is the person you waited for AND deserving them is just something entirely else. Love is a choice, but even in hard times that choice is easy to make when you’ve worked on deserving them in the first place. I want to share a thought that I had in those 2 years of working on myself that have kept me motivated: If you can exist with your mindset, boundaries, morals, etc then someone else with those same things can also exist.
Thank you for writing down your inspiring and amazing experience. I read it thoroughly and found we had some in common. Congratulations! I kind of know what meeting and being with the person that you’ve been searching for or even becoming is absolutely amazing. I’m working on it. I know what I’m gonna do now. Thank you for your comment again as it makes my path clearer. All the best. x
How are you doing today getting nice to see you here I’m I love the video I’m single looking for serious relationship I’m be single for over a good 6 years I don’t see serious relationship I’m looking for relationship
Pretty good analogy/statement for someone so young. It took me till I was 60 before I realizes so much of these things. Everyone learns at different paces, but always better late than never. thanks Clark!
I finally found a guy who loves to communicate how he’s feeling about anything and I appreciate it so much bc all my other past relationships, they never tried to communicate or solve a issue if we had one and I always used to tell them that they can talk to me but never did. So the relationships never last for that long. But the guy I’m with now, he’s just different like I don’t know how to explain it. Plus we met out of nowhere, like I was not expecting him or a relationship at all. But I’m really happy I met him Bc he genuinely makes me happy and makes me feel heard too.
the main problem is is that almost no one chooses to love themself. Thats why they keep ending up in failing relationships. Learn to love yourself first, when you do that you are choosing yourself and choosing happiness and then you will become the right person for you and then attract to you a person who is another form of you to love you just as much.
True. And most times meet people that just turns our world around and we can't help but love them and love ourselves more for loving them. Love is like an ocean, you just can't measure it's depth
“love is a choice” i could not agree more. If love was based on mere passion that that passion, would be as if you were eating supplements to grow muscle but you weren’t going to the gym. It’s not going to be long lasting. Love is a decision to be the best version of yourself to be able to give the best to others, to be there for that person unconditionally, to be loyal and honest. That. is. LOVE💓
We loved eachother but were incompatible - this perfectly defines the two year long relationship I just ended. I wish I would have been wise to this earlier.
A lot of people in our generation mistake love for lust. It’s easy to fall in lust but love is so much deeper. It took me a long time to learn this, love is being your true self with someone and visa versa.
@@illy_lia i will answer, if I may. To me, lust is just a strong physical attraction, or infatuation. Love is soo much more. It's truly caring for a person. Wanting them to be happy and doing your best efforts to make them happy in every way possible. It's oftentimes putting their wants and needs first. It's respect. I can go on but these are the main points
I haven’t been in a relationship in 3 years. The longer I went being single, the less I valued myself and thought that I would always be undesired and unloved. It was only earlier this year that I finally saw my self destructive pattern of self loathing and people pleasing for what it was and vowed to make a change. I got into mediation and positive affirmation and started accepting that my mistakes and insecurities don’t define who I am as a person. I’ve never felt better about myself. The loneliness still comes and goes, but each time I remind myself how lucky I am, because the longer I keep building myself into the self fulfilled person that we are all meant to be, the more likely that I’m going to be open and ready for a relationship with the right someone that comes along. You gotta have love for yourself before you can give any love to another.
I absolutely agree, you attract who you are , and someone actually said that to me , the whole relationships are very much a give and a take. not only take , they are beneficial. you get with someone who gives you something (money , house , car ) and you give something in return (helps with cleaning, bills , etc )
Biggest takeaway for me from this was the compatibility vs love. Personally I see that with alot of people close to me and it hurts to watch people lie to themselves simply because they "love" or "think they love" that person. I did it myself for a time and basically put myself in a space where that person could do no wrong and it just got worse than I could have ever imagined. So I hate to see it. I definitely agree. Falling in love is easy... chosing and finding someone you're compatible with not so much some times.
How are you my dear I can help you with any type of spell Feel free to receive my help remember a problem shared is a problem solved don’t keep your problem to your self share it with me and get it solved I can help you out with any type of spell such as : Love spell Binding spell Pregnancy spell Healing Breaking of curse Return to sender spell Evil eye removal and Cleansing spell Heal disease spell Weight loss spell Etc
I don't think alot of people do know the answer to that question when they think they love someone. I think we choose people based on emotion and feeling as opposed to what fits logically. I dont really believe in "matchmakers" or " love gurus" but I do almost think it takes a third party who has no attachment to the situation to help figure out what who is "compatible" with whom.
Biggest take away was the gut to mind connection. It just happened as I was talking, my stomach started to turn because I was operating I'm fear. Great video! 🎉
I feel like the most important thing in the long run is how kind someone is So I always try to be as kind as possible, hasn’t worked for me as far as relationships goes seeing as I’ve never been on a date But being kind is it’s own reward
Being kind was never in my favor. People (especially women these days) think i want something from them or have ulterior motives. I’m nice simply because i am, I don’t have any motives. And as you said, it’s far more rewarding.
Loved watching this. However, I recently read about a study that came out on the topic of compatibility. It basically said something to the effects that you actually make a choice to be compatible with someone, you find common interests, you choose the type of relationship you want to have with someone and it’s all about how you both decide to build it. ❤️ I wouldn’t say to give up hope on someone just because someone else told you you two may not be compatible 🤷🏼♀️
Firstly, Its weird, because at the beginning I thought this was a Mark Manson video, as you have similar mannerisms and inflection. thats a compliment, as he is my favorite wordsmith. secondly, you summed up love versus limerence beautifully. i had to learn to be alone to fully appreciate what love really is. i knew codependence. I knew losing my identity and doing anything to avoid abandonment. i found that love is not ownership. i love people without having to have them be "mine" and not being in a relationship and responsible for anothers feelings is a relief for once. it helped me love me. gotta remember that through rose colored glasses, red flags just look like flags. great vid man!
You loved some of our other videos on this topic... so thought I'd share the 3 BEST pieces of advice I've heard on relationships. Remember, all there's ONE common denominator to EVERY relationship you've had in the past, are in currently, or might have in the future.... YOU! That's why when you shift into the highest version of yourself, ALL your relationships improve. We've helped hundreds of people this year alone just like you create and shift into that 2.0 version of themselves using Identity Shifting. Want some more info? Wondering if it's for you? Check out this free vid that'll fill ya in a bit more ➡ www.clarkkegley.com/free-case-study?sl=yt-relationship
Kinda bummed there are no captions. It makes it difficult to be able to watch the video.
Thanks Clark! This vid and quote struck true as an arrow to the heart. I needed this today, thanks again!
💯
Llllll
Good stuff. Very true
I loved this. "Instead of trying to find the right person , become the right person"
When your turbulent an assertive women will come along and make you their bitch
What crap. I am the right person.
But changing who you are to please a person doesn't last unless u change to who u want to be and it pleases them
Lmfao I text my man real quick
Makes no sense
"You don't attract what you want, you attract what you are". Amazing quote.
We often want what is peculiar and we cannot fully define ourselves without the help of an outsider's perspective. So I rephrased it for myself:
"We attract what we want, we mirror our identity to the ideal person, in the process our ex-identity is over shallowed by our newer portrayed persona, that's why I think what we attract is often different from what we are, we start to see different shades of ourselves through the other person and through realization within ourselves."
Based on this logic, I don't exist.
This blew my mind!
No
Lies that is all I want with I could just clone and marry my self
As my father in law once said, "Live your own life, and look next to you, and you might just find someone going the same path as you, and that's a good start." I think this is the best way to find a "compatible" mate. Honestly you don't have to be compatible, to love, because you can love anyone, but it may be work. So to find someone along the same path, makes it much easier.
I love what your father in law said…it may need to become a song of mine ❤️
that's very wise actually, Big thanks to your father 👌
My
Wow that's awesome
You can’t love anyone, that’s not how humans work. We have preferences duuuhhh Your source: Trust me bro
“Stop trying to LOOK like the 10, and focus on BECOMING the 10.”
THAT. IS. SO. GOOD.
THANK YOU.
I think I’m happy with an 8
Keep working on yourself. But also know that you’re perfect the way you are and you can be love just is. Despite all the flaws. You love yourself no matter what you are right now unconditionally or where you’re going to be. And know that others can and is going to appreciate and love you the same way. Through the journeys. Through the struggles. You are giving thanks and gratitude for all the abundance you currently have and you are drawing more to. You are bettering yourself for yourself and your loved one, a conscious committed dedication and devotion. Everybody wins.
For some reason, I can imagine this in other ways, including relationships.
Be authentic.
It's both. Focus on improving yourself and you physical appearance
Attraction alone is not enough. Just because you _feel_ good with someone, doesn't mean you can build a healthy long-term relationship. You need to align on values, respect one another, and have good communication. Well said Clark.
Yeah, definitely. My ex and I were attracted to each other, but our ideas of what it takes to make a relationship work didn't align. I believed that a good friendship, having the same values are key, not infatuation. A lot of people are super into infatuation because of Hollywood, Korean dramas. The world isn't the movies.
You're so right. You must also have shared values, emotional maturity, a shared vision and blendable lifestyles.
I learned this the hard way.
Chemistry and mutual attraction are not enough to start a RELATIONSHIP.
Chemistry and mutual attraction are just enough to DATE to determine if you have the other components.
The purpose of Dating is to learn about each other, to determine if you should even pursue a long term Relationship.
I have that we click a little bit but I'm not really attracted to her. I feel like its a chore to date her.
that initial attraction is simply hormones playing tricks on you.
You’re right. 10’s attract 10’s. I’m focusing on myself. ❤️
Been married 35 years now and the number one thing that ALL relationships MUST have before love and friendship, for a lasting relationship is "RESPECT". If you do not have respect for each other then love and friendship will not carry you.
Your right but respect is different from other people.. what is respectful for u might not be for other person?
Respect is good to have in any relationship
@@noexcuses5524thats why you communicate at the Beginning
I am also single but I need a serious relationship with someone
Exactly great point👍💯
The most important thing in any relationship is good communication.
Yep. No matter how bad life gets, if you have good communication, everything works. No matter how wacky things get
Say it louder!
I always say comprehension is more important. You can communicate all you want but allowing yourself in the shoes of your partner to understand things from their perspective, even if the communication is not that effective on the other end, will make things easier to solve and to live by.
he spittin
Comprehension as well
"you don't manifest what you want you manifest who you are" YES.
Then why I am not attracting people like me..
How do you do that?
Cap
Bs!
Very deep I like the whole knowledge of this
“Stop looking for the right person and become the right person” Love this 💪🏿
How are you my dear I can help you with any type of spell
Feel free to receive my help remember a problem shared is a problem solved don’t keep your problem to your self share it with me and get it solved I can help you out with any type of spell such as :
Love spell
Binding spell
Pregnancy spell
Healing
Breaking of curse
Return to sender spell
Evil eye removal and Cleansing spell
Heal disease spell
Weight loss spell
Etc
How are you my dear I can help you with any type of spell
Feel free to receive my help remember a problem shared is a problem solved don’t keep your problem to your self share it with me and get it solved I can help you out with any type of spell such as :
Love spell
Binding spell
Pregnancy spell
Healing
Breaking of curse
Return to sender spell
Evil eye removal and Cleansing spell
Heal disease spell
Weight loss spell
Etc
I am the right person! Why does EVERY WOMAN! think she is sooooooo much better an EVERYMAN ON EARTH!!!
when did this happen ??
That every man is a loser bum overgrown teenage worthless person
Women choose there men at the finish line in life. An think that her baby making parts give her some magic key to screw over any guy.
Thanks
Hey are you doing
“10’s attract 10’s - Not just looks wise but energetically, lifestyle wise, communication wise, value wise, job wise, social circle wise - you don’t attract who you want you attract who you are”
This right here 💖💖
But how many mes can I attract? 😂 cos I had that person then we had to break up cos the circumstances weren't so favouring..distance but I do hope I'll meet them one day.
Even tho they legit talked about "getting another girl" right when we were saying our forlorn goodbyes...my heart😂
It bled
Yes! 10s attract 10s!
Hey
Not true I'm poor and I attract rich people a lot lol
Damn I needed this comment. It blew up for a reason. Thank you 🌻
*"If people are doubting how far you can go, go so far that you can't hear them..."* If you are reading this, I hope you have an amazing day!
I know it's completely unrelated, but your user name is super cool and original! Just wanted to say that, have a great day!
u 2 brother
this right here
Not to rain on the parade but that's not good advice it sounds nice and driving but doesn't mean much.
It gives the idea that if someone tells you something you don't like them blindly ignore them.
And in a relationship sense it's not good to listen to everyone but it's also terrible to not listen at all.
If someone who loves you have it be dad,brother,sister,mother best friend or watever it offering experience wisdom it's best to have an open mind.
Thank you, but since i'm here...
Most people looking for “the right person” forgets to think that the other person has needs and dreams of their own.
You’re right and I love your perspective.
My name is Steve, can I be your friend?
Hello beautiful
I never played any relationship games. I was my authentic self from day one, and I share everything. I knew I was going to marry my wife after our first date, and I told her on our second date. She thought I was nuts, but we've been married for 17 years.
Ayo congratulations nfs 🥳👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Priceless🥰😂🤣😅👏👏👏👏
How did you know that so quickly? :D
I’ve been told by 2 guys that they want to marry me early on but they always fell through. I guess times have changed and people love bomb to get what they want. Now I will never talk to anyone who says they want to marry me early on.
Chad
One of the most TOXIC beliefs around relationships is that there is one right person for everyone. I've been married for 21 years (8/19). Love is WORK. It might be rainbows and unicorns for the first 6 months, but eventually, as you mentioned, those immediate feelings fade. My husband and I married when I was 19 and he was 18. When people are in a marriage, they can grow together or they can grow apart. Either way they are growing. Love is definitely a choice in a lot of ways. Now, of course if your spouse is abusive or dismissive, then working on the relationship may not be worth it and might be futile. However, if we aren't working on our relationship by loving each other every day and making that person feel loved, what are we doing? It's definitely a two-way-street, but over the years, one of us definitely has more energy to give at times than the other. We hold each other up and help each other be our best selves. We've been through a lot and there's no one I'd rather spend my life with than my husband.
❤️
Amen 💐🙌💫Beautiful share 🙌💐💫
Amazing to know.. Glad you'd share your wise bit of experience
Damn facts
Yes yes yes !!!!!! You’re on point ❤️
"That's not love, that's control." SPOT ON, BROTHER! You nailed it with that one!
Best relationship advise I ever got was, "Don't look for the right person, become the right person for YOURSELF and the right person will be drawn to you"
"Avoid relationships" and "It's not all about love" are my two favourite quotes ... to cope with myself.
It’ll find you without you even looking.
Yeah, that is my current mindset, which is ironic cause I'm a person that loves, love. Funny right lol
How are you my dear I can help you with any type of spell
Feel free to receive my help remember a problem shared is a problem solved don’t keep your problem to your self share it with me and get it solved I can help you out with any type of spell such as :
Love spell
Binding spell
Pregnancy spell
Healing
Breaking of curse
Return to sender spell
Evil eye removal and Cleansing spell
Heal disease spell
Weight loss spell
Etc
@@ChillinLikeBobDyllan if you are good looking
@@ChillinLikeBobDyllan trust that. I took a year to myself and told myself to embrace being single for this period and just work on myself. Just casually enjoying myself out with a friend one day, the best woman I could’ve asked for came up and found me.
Good things find you when you stop looking so hard
Thankyou for saying "you dont attract things you want, you attract things you are" cause that taught me alot. I understood more. Thankyou! And also "stop looking for the right person, start becoming thr right person" have a good day yall!:)
How are you my dear I can help you with any type of spell
Feel free to receive my help remember a problem shared is a problem solved don’t keep your problem to your self share it with me and get it solved I can help you out with any type of spell such as :
Love spell
Binding spell
Pregnancy spell
Healing
Breaking of curse
Return to sender spell
Evil eye removal and Cleansing spell
Heal disease spell
Weight loss spell
Etc
Before you begin a journey with someone else its important that you have a great relationship with yourself
“Start becoming the right person” literally 7 mos after I started working out I felt way more open and at ease. Thinking abt relationships didn’t fill me with as much anxiety. Had a lot of firsts from then. I’m 19 and still figuring stuff out but I’ll forever live by this rule. :)
You're on right track lad
Self improvment
same boat and same age fam. hope you continue figuring it out
Yessssir, keep on going! I started working out every second day while completing NNN and bruh lemme tell you what a confidence boost that had on me, since I was doing it for myself! And like a miracle, a month later I got together with the girl I've been crushing on for 2 years without even THINKING of needing to be in a relationship. We're still going as strong as ever and as cheezy as it sounds, work on yourself, and become the right person like you've been doing the past few months. You'll gain confidence like drinking water and damn is it a good road to travel
Right un the same boat even started doing auto work on a project that I was too nervous to do myself idk it just gave me a new outlook
“You don’t attract what you want, you attract who you are”
What does that mean?
Not always true
Not true at all lol
Cap
Y’all goofy
compatibility isn’t a prerequisite for love, it’s the achievement of love.
Hi I just got my relationship fixed and my ex is back to me and we are living happily like never before i got help from a relationship expert
How are you my dear I can help you with any type of spell
Feel free to receive my help remember a problem shared is a problem solved don’t keep your problem to your self share it with me and get it solved I can help you out with any type of spell such as :
Love spell
Binding spell
Pregnancy spell
Healing
Breaking of curse
Return to sender spell
Evil eye removal and Cleansing spell
Heal disease spell
Weight loss spell
Etc
Wow I was having thoughts about it.. If compatibility and love have their own parts like yes you can fall in love but the Compatibility part got me. When love happens and you see what interests the other I m sure the other partner will too have patience and also work on the their own selves or icks they get from each other and then the compatibility part just happens with effort and time almost like cultivating the love and fondness resulting with good rapport/compatibility.
Hello how are you ?
Yah it’s true
Being "in love" isn't Love, it's infatuation. Notice it happens before people actually get a chance to truly know each other. And you can't love somebody without knowing them. Loving someone for real is a choice you make everyday. Infatuation while often a precursor for the real thing, is also a precursor for the very opposite
Soooooo true! Most ppl don’t realize the difference between infatuation and love. I wonder how many ppl in this crazy century are lucky enough to even feel real LOVE at least once in their lives. Infatuation is self-centered projection. Love is altruism and faith.
So love is choosing someone over and over again?
Well said. Loving someone is a choice (for a person) and a vow (4fidelity) you make to yourself "to be" with that person in every way every day. You must respect and love the other just like you would like to be respected and loved. If you want to not be cheated than don't cheat, if you want to be respected than respect, if you want to be understood then understand and if you want your relationship not to fail make sure the other person has the same values as you.
A relationship stages should be:
friendship, confiding, mutual goals, physical contact and the last one should be sex (just like the cherry on the cake) only when you are sure you want a family with that person because nothing could change your mind and you are both set on being as one.
A child is both parents as one... if anything had or will come between his parents that child will suffer in some way the consequences, so make sure you will always love the other part of your child (your partner).
Also fidelity is something transcendent that doesn't apply only to the future. As their child, would you like to know that your parents had other lovers before they meet each other ... don't think so. Because cheating can be done before you meet someone you'll love, just as after. The rest are excuses.
That last sentence. Best I heard in awhile. I read tarot...thanks I give you credit when I use it. Much love to you
Love is a choice. Love is not a feeling or emotion. When someone says they “fell out of love”, they don’t understand this reality: it was not love in the 1st place. They simply choose not to be with that person any more. This is totally unromantic but its a fact. Love is always a choice.
The second you decide you don’t want love, is the second it makes it’s way into your life hehehe 💖
Super weird how that happens
@@Mr.Honest247 I totally feel you. Check in with your energy as your manifesting.
Is it too strong? Is there a strong attachment to the outcome? Are you TRUSTING that it really is on its way? Are you letting go?
When we are manifesting from a place of lack, our energy can feel needy/clingy. This could cause a repulsion effect to what we are desiring.
Honestly the letting go, is the key that most people are missing in their manifestation techniques. I mean think about it… someone that is desperate for your attention is normally pretty unattractive. But if they are rooted in their own confidence then 🔥🔥
I hope all that made sense
Hello,how are you doing today?
you don't Need* love
Nah,, more like when you decide to relax regarding it all... then boooom ...
When issues develop in a relationship, many people consider leaving. But I've learned that it's critical to talk about and work on relationships on a daily basis.
Especially if you really love the person, but I get it sometimes it’s hard. So, for those times we use lovify’s couple games, to share our expectations.
We are now trying to open up about topics we previously avoided ❤
Yeah it’s better to be open to your partner when you have a thought about him/her
Never again will I be so ungrateful
This is so true!
I’ve been in love with my fiancé for 12 years..
he feels like home to me. He’s my safe space and my person.
He drives me mad.. a lot. We bicker.. a lot! But we also resolve our problems, laugh & truly WANT to be together.
We have brought 4 children into this world and got through really horrible and hard moments within our relationship.
Love absolutely is a choice.. and I choose him every single day, in every reality, in every lifetime.
That is beautiful! What I will strive for.
You guys are fiancés and have known each other for 12 years and have 4 kids?
Engaged for 12 years?
We’ve been engaged for 2 years. Together for 10 years. And have 4 children !
Love this. Stay engaged... keep sth to look forward to. It's important.
Commitment is a choice you make everyday in a long term relationship. I'm so glad someone finally said that.
Hello
How are you doing?
You’re right and I love your perspective. Can we be friends?
"Being in love is kinda easy." It always has been for me! I love so many people passionately. It doesn't mean I see a viable relationship with them. I would only pursue romance if I could have meaningful conversations with them, want to experience life with them, and work well together. Looks are at the bottom of what I value in relationships.
How do you stop yourself from convincing yourself that it could be a viable relationship when it maybe can’t be?
Hi am searching for love
How are you my dear I can help you with any type of spell
Feel free to receive my help remember a problem shared is a problem solved don’t keep your problem to your self share it with me and get it solved I can help you out with any type of spell such as :
Love spell
Binding spell
Pregnancy spell
Healing
Breaking of curse
Return to sender spell
Evil eye removal and Cleansing spell
Heal disease spell
Weight loss spell
Etc
@@suzehartman the answer to this is already in the video! Remember that when you’re “in love,” you’re looking through those rose-colored glasses that block out the logical considerations of your brain. Really taking a step back and analyzing who the other person is, as well as talking to a close friend (who’s unbiased) or family member about the other person would be a great start too. Overall, when you feel madly attracted to someone, your brain is going to tune out the potential red flags, and you’re going to emotionally throw caution to the wind. Talk to people who are impartial, and think deeply about what you’re doing!
@@nickgarner6267 Good advice! Helped me a lot :)
You're describing a piece of poetry I wrote.
"Infatuation is the force that drives people together.
It's both passionate and fervant,
its presence fierce and fast.
Like-mindedness is rarer, much more precious,
withstands weather.
Friendship is the footing of relationships that last."
Waw ❤️✨
Hi, with youe permission of course, I'd love to share this on my social media. Contact me please.
This is beautiful
how lovely, I would love this as a wedding quote or vow thank you for sharing your beautiful words
get some bitches lol
I'm going to watch this whenever I get in my feels, lying awake at night, missing someone who doesn't miss me whatsoever. I'm tired of holding onto the past, and I'm definitely tired of hurting inside. I need to understand that life is not all about love. It's time I start spending my days bettering myself and not waiting around for something unrealistic to come along. Thank you very much for this advice! 🙏
Hope you feel better soon!
Hold out and u will see the light
great advice in its own right! good idea, i’m there right now. not sure what this “relationship” i’m in now is. most likely nothing. seems like she really isn’t interested.
peace and prayers ❤️
make sure to listen to my remaster of the 'drive' soundtrack if you do
“Stop settling, start living”! Wish I heard it years ago. But to start living is never too late !
How are you doing?
Hello beautiful
“Love and compatibility are two entirely different things…”
I'm in the process of becoming the person I need to be to attract the person I know I deserve. ❤
Yeah, I've been working on myself very hard the past three months and considering a relationship with a lady who I might otherwise have thought was out of my league. We'll see. Aim high, right?
Hello how are you doing today?
Love this🤍
Holy shit yes, that exactly the way I can describe this as well!
Amen
Romantic love may not be “the most important thing,” but even after watching this video I still truly believe love is the most important thing. Love keeps us going. Love is helping others. Love is doing things that fully benefit someone who isn’t yourself. Believing in love is believing in God without knowing it.
So u have to work then on romantic things when honey moon phase is gone…. Otherwise is it endless cycle with dif people.
Based on your own definition of romatic love you have a point. Take into consideration that many people don' t have a clear concept of 'romantic love' and don't reflect on it They often confound it with lust, look at it in terms of getting instead of giving etc... So it all boils down to having the same understanding what constitutes 'romantic love'.
I think people tend to forget when reading something as declarative as “Love is the most important thing”, that that is simply one’s opinion, and many different people have many different views on life.
I personally don’t believe love is the MOST important thing, but the people who think that way are some of the happiest
Romantic love is subtracting from another person
Love is a choice and also LOVE IS A VERB
5 months after my last breakup with whom I thought was the one. Still hurts sometimes(mostly because I have regrets). Gotta say... loneliness hits hard when you feel you are not good enough for yourself, so to anyone feeling the same. Keep trying to fall in love with yourself, focus on yourself. That is the way.
Agreed brother. We all gonna make it
For sure same here i went through hell due to my last break up
We were together for 2 years, and I spent the next 3 years sobbing. Now i am as happy and satisfied as I have never been. Wounds will heal eventually
I think that's a good sign to work on yourself and to stay out of relationships for a while. Being content and happy alone (being good enough for yourself, as you described it) are the most important gifts you can give yourself. We've been sold a shit bill of goods in the phrase "you complete me" when in reality we are the only ones who can complete ourselves. And if we don't take that time we'll constantly search for others to do it for us... Aka codependence. Cry, meditate, pray, allow your pain to speak and tell you why it exists and move on when you're ready. And know when you do heal you've become a stronger and better version of yourself.
How are you now? I’m 1 month into a breakup and feel good sometimes and extremely lonely other times. I just want to love myself and feel good alone. We were in love but we weren’t compatible. It’s almost winter also so I’m kind of dreading doing it alone but I know when spring blooms, I will be a totally new man ❤
I recently met a guy who had all of the attributes I normally wish I could find but his energy was really off because of trauma. We spoke in great depth about why he needs time to heal. Timing is everything. Be cautious of letting emotions guide your actions. Self control is a blessing✨
Could you explain the energy?
What about his energy was off?
🤦🏼♀️
Maybe that guy is recovering from a bad breakup, if he voiced it out to you and openly expressed that he needs time to heal then that shows that he’s a good person, you two may not be ready to be together but at least he’s showing enough maturity and honesty to work on himself.
Same situation I'm in a complicated relationship with a guy actually he was my school crush 😂, but we met again, he has some trauma his going through and same here me too that's why it's complicated cause we both afraid of falling in love again but actually we both enjoys eachother company very much. I don't know what will happen but I'm really hoping best for both of us
My husband and I have been together since I was 15, him 17. It’s been 12 years together, 5 married. We are both proud of how we operate as a couple but don’t really identify with many other couples. This is the absolute best advice I’ve heard! I’ve had to battle other people’s views on relationships from purity culture to “don’t marry young” and everything between. This is officially my go-to video I send friends looking for advice. 😎
My 12 year relationship just ended when I introduced him to an acquaintance … he gone
How are you my dear I can help you with any type of spell
Feel free to receive my help remember a problem shared is a problem solved don’t keep your problem to your self share it with me and get it solved I can help you out with any type of spell such as :
Love spell
Binding spell
Pregnancy spell
Healing
Breaking of curse
Return to sender spell
Evil eye removal and Cleansing spell
Heal disease spell
Weight loss spell
Etc
Can I ask you a question. Has there been any moments where you wanted to give up because your hurt or you broke up because you were hurt but than got back together ?
Odd… “purity culture” or most Christians I know (especially women) think it’s the end of the world or they’ll never get married if they don’t find their spouse in college.
Love can be expressed in many ways. One way I know is to send it across the distance to the person who is reading this.
Focus on making yourself the love of your life- all the rest will take care of itself naturally
How i make myself love of my life...how??????
This is toxic positivity
No. Thats bull. Focus on what you want to see in the person u love and change into it. Ur not supposed to be an egoistic narcissist
I've known a guy like that, he's currently 30 years old, Virgin and never been in a relationship but he's very nice person to be around and talk to. Don't do what it is said above
I’ve been in so many relationships and I’m only 24. Never given myself the chance to truly enjoy being single. Watching this video really reinforces a lot of opinions and thoughts I have had.
Still breaks my heart a thousand times over that my ex and I genuinely loved each other and put it honest effort but were just not compatible. But over the last two years I’ve done all I can to better myself and be good to others. Everything in this vid is true.
Same
God this comment hit me in my soul ♥️♥️♥️
Same. I loved someone who would not come out of the closet and was desperate to appease their religious family. I got tired of being hidden. It's definitely not enough to love someone. An incompatibility can ruin a relationship.
Maybe you just weren’t ready for each other. Maybe later in life you will be ready for each other. When love is real it cannot be broken. Sometimes it just takes time to catch up with each other they you both need to. And maybe there is someone who is way more suited for you. You never know. Just don’t give up hope. Hope your heart heals soon.
same here but it gets better
“Falling in love is easy” im so glad someone finally points it out
This video is the most realistic piece of advice ever on internet!
Half of our lives , we spend on watching videos on how to bring someone back chasing you ? How to play hard to get ? And so on but once you understand the concept of deep bonding and learn love like the previous generation, you'll loose interest in people who plays games and so will you hardly have any interest on those videos , etc !
The best advice I've heard was "You can love anybody as long as you're willing to love them, emotions change don't base your relationship off of love but instead off of how they will help you improve yourself and vice versa"
Nice thought, but not exactly applicable for people on the aromantic spectrum.
Relationships are hard work. I can not change myself for another person . I'm happy alone and content. I need nothing . What a great life . At peace always.
Hello,how are you doing today?
Omg, yes!
I hear ya sister! And feel the same! 🥰
Yeah your right but I need someone to feel up the empty space in heart
But… still you are on here. I’m not meaning that as a slight, but there must be a part of you that knows you wouldn’t say no if the right person came along.
“What are you willing to give up in exchange for your demands” love it!
That's the biggest problem in relationships. Not being yourself and them not being themselves and after a while, the real comes out and incompatibility is undeniable.
You are right about that most relationship suck
Happy weekend
Where are you chatting from
No bitches?
“Success is mental” best advice I’ve ever gotten. I’ve been through a lot and if you just tell yourself you’re okay and you do things that make you happy and you just say that pain doesn’t exist then it won’t, you’ll only feel how you think you feel
It really does not work like that💀 being delusional about one’s pain doesn’t mean it’s actually been resolved
i kinda get where that is coming from but telling yourself that certain pain doesn't exist can lead to you bottling everything up and then it gets *really* dangerous. it's okay to acknowledge that you're in pain and work on it without letting it control your life. you don't have to be okay all the time to be successful.
How are you my dear I can help you with any type of spell
Feel free to receive my help remember a problem shared is a problem solved don’t keep your problem to your self share it with me and get it solved I can help you out with any type of spell such as :
Love spell
Binding spell
Pregnancy spell
Healing
Breaking of curse
Return to sender spell
Evil eye removal and Cleansing spell
Heal disease spell
Weight loss spell
Etc
@@thuydungie yes this is a more balanced way of seeing it, feel the pain but don’t let it consume your life
Emotional Suppression 101
My definition of love is wanting to be by that person and have a special connection with them, but to also be able to function regularly even if they aren’t by u
Just got out of a 3 year relationship and have been trying not to kick myself for stepping away from someone I was so deeply in love with and who loved me hard. But you really described a lot of what I was feeling and why i couldn’t see it working out.
Its tragic that “love is half the battle” but its so so true. The advice on “become the right person” was exactly what I needed to hear.
This video randomly came up for me but I’m glad it did!
This is what my parents warn me about. That if you pick the wrong person and love that person, it will hurt to leave them. Their advice is to make a list of non-negotiables that are heavily based on logic and yes and no answers. Things like, do they want kids. What is their religious faith etc, then you can build love on top of that. If you fall in love with someone that doesn't meet your non-negotiables, your relationship is already a failure. It's only a matter of time before the love can't cover for that non-negotiable.
You will be ok! Just keep working on yourself. You’ll have good days and bad days but overall never give up. Things will be ok.
Damn this is exactly what im going through (plus a baby) with someone and glad to see we have arrived at the same place.
Sorry to hear about that, try to stay strong!
Just went through this last night… hope things are easier for you by now. Brighter futures ahead 🙏🏻
Omg… you’re a genius… And that’s exactly what I am going through. To be the best version of myself - I need to grow up and try different things those are not me. Wow!!! Great job!!!!
Hi can we chat on hangout
When you say things that people are already thinking, it makes it make more sense.
“You cannot be protected from the things that frighten you and hurt you, but if you identify with part of your being that is responsible for transformation, then you are always equal or more than equal of the things that frighten you”
Keep you head up 💜
Oh my gosh, that is exactly what I needed to hear!
God bless you!
I learned the hard way that love ≠ compatibility. I was SO compatible with my guy best friend & we convinced ourselves it would be smart to be in love. We fell out in 2 years because it was always supposed to be platonic from the beginning. After a year of taking a break we’re finally best friends again. But what a hard journey to go through
Aww yay, so happy you're best friends again!
Currently dealing with this
I definitely agree with you not every friendships lead to love. Are you single please?
Not a relationship expert, yet spits incredible advice on it. There’s something about this dude that’s gravitating. Best subscriptions I’ve got on TH-cam and I’m a devout Muslim. Alhamdulillah ❤️
Love the emphasis on authenticity. Life never felt better than since I prioritized authenticity and loving
I'm a co-dependant person this was quite hard to hear but needed
Lol co-depend on u.
Relationships are significantly more about creating something with someone rather than finding the perfect partner. Find someone you think is attractive, that you can trust, that you maybe share some ambitions with, and then put the effort into creating your relationship. Throwing beautiful colors at each other will make a masterpiece much less often than using a brush and placing those colors where you truly believe they make sense.
You are the one who made me change my life just by believing in me that I worth everything and I can do anything, working as a chef assistant to having my dream job working as a manager. 47 Kg low weight to 55 Kg perfect weight. Never being able to communicate my feelings, to being able to put myself out with confidence. Still learning and trying to get to know myself better. This is a massage for everyone out there YES you can do this. By the way I listen to your affection (love, health, wealth in 21 days) I was jobless at the time when I started listening every morning, and keeping myself in happy frequency for all day, I got job only in 15 days it wasn't easy but consistence make it happen. Still learning, working hard to shape myself and my life for batter. Lots of love and wishes for you keep it up. You are awesome. Stop settling start living 😍
The fact your autocorrect went from better to batter just shows how much you love your profession of being a chef 👨🍳 hehe ☺️✨
I was a hopeless romantic for a long time. I searched for other people's love, instead of my own.
"Love" is NOT the same thing as "healthy." In the old version of myself, I was obsessive. Tried to force feelings for someone, then when I genuinely realized them, I tried to control everything out of fear of losing that person. Never actually lost love from anyone; they've always loved me, but I was in a toxic mindset so I didn't believe in myself. I thought I couldn't be in a healthy relationship; that the negative patterns would follow.
Fear. That's one thing that "love" should never be.
Glad that videos like this are out there to touch on the "wrong" and "right" reasons for relationships. ALWAYS respect yourself and others, and good things will follow :)
Bro for real I was like that too.
The vibrations and energy you put out are what you attract into your life. ❤✨️
"You don't attract what you want, you attract who you are." 💯
Love this advice! It’s not telling you how to date or how to “succeed” in relationships. It’s about truth and looking out for yourself in relationships.
It’s like there’s no way you love that shirt but you allowed it to come to you and fuckin wore it. That’s real strength bro.
I’m currently on my second relationship that I’ve ever had in my life and I’m 25 and I approached each one very differently. The relationship I have now I started off with rose colored glasses on and I learned very early to let go but mainly work on myself a lot more and the advice is so true I can’t even explain it. And since my partner had started seeing me start to level up and work on myself, he slowly started to level up with me too and it was nice to see
I also started off my relationship with Rose coloured glasses, now I am focussing on myself more and levelling up, I see him wanting to do the same. I’ve definitely been slacking, it’s so important to keep developing yourself when you’re in a relationship because it’s so easy to stay still and be comfortable. I prioritised my partners life/problems over myself at one point.
I've been making some massive strides in my life this year, and my 3 year relationship just fell apart over Christmas because she was too afraid of her insecurities to 'level up' beside me. I'm glad there's a success story out there.
How are you my dear I can help you with any type of spell
Feel free to receive my help remember a problem shared is a problem solved don’t keep your problem to your self share it with me and get it solved I can help you out with any type of spell such as :
Love spell
Binding spell
Pregnancy spell
Healing
Breaking of curse
Return to sender spell
Evil eye removal and Cleansing spell
Heal disease spell
Weight loss spell
Etc
I feel you
Absolutely right Clark. I used to look at it as I want to attract the right woman. Now I’ve learned to just be. Just be an allow. Nothing more nothing less.
I always said “I’m a whole person, I don’t need someone to complete himself with his half”, been dating, few relationships, but only when I started my last relationship with my partner I realized that he’s a whole personality as well, and we go together on the same path, we want the same things, we like the same things. And we both are beautiful 😂that helps too!
Hello 😊
You are your most important project. You always come first. When you’re at your best, that’s exactly what you’re gonna get.
Yes I like it
Clark is one of the few youtubers I actually find sincere and helpful. you can tell he likes the inner work and is just sharing to benefit others not for some specific outcome. anyway i only have gratitude for this channel.
I'm so happy to say this I wouldn't have done it if not for the God's sent man that helped me with my relationship thank you once again,his channel ( Dr osayande great powerful healer )
This explains why I lose that "in love feeling" so quickly but retain attachment and interest
This video came at just the right time. I’ve been aware of my own obsessions and on dating sights like a maniac. It’s disturbing. Thank you for this- sending to my girl friends!
Dang that bit about falling in love being easy really hit hard. I remember I went to a party with a coworker who was getting divorced and we all got super drunk and ended up crashing at a mutual friends house. We shared the couch together and then BOOM one month later we’re dating and BANG three months later we broke up
I came here for the relationship advice but NOW I know destiny brought me here to see how AMAAZING your shirt is 👌🏾
OMG! You are so funny and sweet. Such honesty!
Facts. Change ur frequency. We attract what we think, feel & know. Yes, these are all different. Live as if it's done. Walk in the I want or need mode. Operate in a gratitude mindset. We manifest more than we're aware of. Challenge self to became a better version of me yesterday in all things.
frequency, out acting like we computers
Yes you are right honey I which to no you better than this
I’ve learned, just in the past few months, that you can love someone but not want to be with them. I still love my ex husband, but I feel no sort of attachment to him. My love for him stems solely from time. We’ve known each other since we were kids. Compared to what it “used to be”, now I see him as a life long friend.
This my struggle now. I just want to be single but I stay for my kids. I don’t want to be in a relationship but don’t want to hurt her my girlfriend. At the same time I feel like I’m doing wrong by her by not leaving so she can be happy and find the right partner. She keeps bringing up marriage and I’m just not into it. I love her but not in love with her.
Man.. that is hard to hear
I had more compatibility than love, which in turn became strong love. Being young and “damaged” as a lot of us are I thought I was trapped into this relationship, only to see we were meant for each other and only continue to GROW together.
You can't know if it's real love until you've been through some trials together, and come out stronger. If you come out weaker, watch out. Preferably some pretty challenging and awful trials. Don't get married until you've had a couple of bad trials. Life is hard, so you have to know if you can do this as a team or not.
Attraction comes and goes in real love, then comes back again, then goes away and comes again.
Whoa 🤯 good video! Lately I’ve realized sometimes in a relationship Love isn’t enough. Sometimes you’re on different paths, you want different futures or you see the world differently, you may be in love but it doesn’t make everything else right 🥺
That’s so real..
thats a whole fact.
This shit hits home. Had to break up with someone I was head over heels in love with for 5 months. Afterthe honeymoon phase wore off and the excitment and butterflies of love, I realised we weren't as compatable as I thought. Shit hurt to break up with someone I seen my future with and having this realisation in the space of like a week. Worst part was hurting a girl I genuinly loved and care for and still care for when I never thought I would, she did not deserve that. Suppose thats life, all learning and experiences until you find what is right for you.
Did you just kinda lose feelings?? Or kinda decide y’all weren’t right for eachother?
In the end it's better to find a girl thats compatable, that helps you on your path . Im with a girl like that and i was LOVE but didnt last long BC i realize we're not compatable
You people are so lost and delusional.
This generation doesn't know what is fighting anymore.
In the very first little frustration, disappointment or if things aren't perfect or aren't your way, you just give up.
Só fooking sad.
Kinda really hard for me to believe that you were in love… do you know what love is? Love never dies, and love becomes pain and agony when you are not with the person you love. For the rest of your life.
If you actually loved her, you wouldn’t have left her
Falling in love is awesome .. I love it .. happens organically .. when u don’t look for love ❤️
Your advice falls in line with everything my parents tell me. My parents are in a very happy and successful marriage. August will be their 32nd anniversary. When I asked my dad for advice about marriage, he said that the number one reason why marriages fail is because people pick the wrong people and build a beautiful bond with them. Then 10 years later, they're divorcing and wonder where they went wrong. They went wrong when they chose to go on a second date with someone they're incompatible with.
My mom said, most people chose their partners based on emotions. You should choose your partners based on logic first then let the emotions forge the bond. She said that you can fall in love with just about anyone if you put in the effort because we humans are meant to fall in love. Her advice to picking the right partner is to have your list of "non-negotiables" and pick the partner based on those non-negotiables. She said that the list shouldn't have anything superficial like looks. It should be based on things that are important in marriage. She also said that the list should be yes or no answers because if they are subjective, then it gives room for illogical emotions to sway your decision.
For example, your list can be
1) Believe in >insert religion<
2) wants kids
3) health conscience
4) Financially stable enough to support a family
Once you create your list, you should pass up people who don't check all of the boxes. Once you meet people who check all of the boxes, then you can work on building the romance. My parents also said that attractiveness shouldn't be that important. They said the only thing that should matter in terms of attractiveness is if you can see yourself having sex with this person and having an orgasm. They said that as you fall in love, that person will become more and more attractive to you. They also said that you will grow older and become less attractive, so if you place emphasis on physical appearance and build a bond where attractiveness is on top of the list, your bond will fade as your partner gets less attractive.
Sounds like a shopping list...Is this romance? Probably good advice but not appealing
Really some good advice!!
When they go through similar things they can also be attracted especially when it's something really hard. If they don't get help they can go through a series of events of constant fighting.
@@colinl5985 That's the point. Listen to your logic not your ego.
@@colinl5985i think there's a difference between non negotiables and like, "i want xyz"
“Instead of looking for the right person, become the right person.”
Hadn’t heard this advice but this is exactly what I did in the 2 years that I was single before meeting my now boyfriend. That and the “avoid getting into a relationship”.
I knew what I wanted from a future partner. I’ve never been one to date for fun, I wanted my life long partner so I acted like how I would want them to act. I trained myself into being my ultimate partner. An example is that whenever someone attractive on social media would catch my eye I would scroll instead of look. I know myself and I know I wouldn’t be able to handle a partner whose eyes would wander, so I made sure mine wouldn’t either. This is important because even if you find YOUR ultimate partner, it doesn’t mean you’re theirs. You could meet the love of your life, but if you haven’t worked on being a good partner then it can still go bad. So after working on things like that it came to a point where I could say with a 100% certainty that I would date myself AND be happy with how I acted. After 2 years of working on myself and correcting myself as if I were already in a relationship I met him. And this is the part that will probably motivate you if you’re reading this; he was exactly like me. He had the same mentality, boundaries, etc. It was a match that I could’ve only dreamed of. Of course I worked on more things but going along with my example from earlier: he didn’t follow any ig models, his tiktok was only filled with funny videos, he respected girls and didn’t objectify them, etc. He is all that and the best part is that I deserve him. Not only did I get who I wanted but I also deserve the man I want because I was loyal even before I met him.
Before him I would of course explore my options with people who I came across but with all of them I knew within a week that it wouldn’t be anything because I knew what I wanted. With him the connection was SO strong that we’ve basically been together since day one. I suspected it in the first few days but after a month of knowing him I knew he was the person I had worked so hard for. Meeting someone and clicking is cool but meeting some, clicking, knowing that that is the person you waited for AND deserving them is just something entirely else.
Love is a choice, but even in hard times that choice is easy to make when you’ve worked on deserving them in the first place.
I want to share a thought that I had in those 2 years of working on myself that have kept me motivated: If you can exist with your mindset, boundaries, morals, etc then someone else with those same things can also exist.
Thank you for writing down your inspiring and amazing experience. I read it thoroughly and found we had some in common. Congratulations! I kind of know what meeting and being with the person that you’ve been searching for or even becoming is absolutely amazing. I’m working on it. I know what I’m gonna do now. Thank you for your comment again as it makes my path clearer. All the best. x
How are you doing pretty
Your right ❤
omg it touches so hard
Hello
I learned the concept of becoming the person I wanted to be with in my first year of addiction recovery. Its changed my perspective in profound ways.
How are you doing pretty
Love can be expressed in many ways. One way I know is to send it across the distance to the person who is reading this.
How are you doing today getting nice to see you here I’m I love the video I’m single looking for serious relationship I’m be single for over a good 6 years I don’t see serious relationship I’m looking for relationship
Hi there
Pretty good analogy/statement for someone so young. It took me till I was 60 before I realizes so much of these things. Everyone learns at different paces, but always better late than never. thanks Clark!
I finally found a guy who loves to communicate how he’s feeling about anything and I appreciate it so much bc all my other past relationships, they never tried to communicate or solve a issue if we had one and I always used to tell them that they can talk to me but never did. So the relationships never last for that long.
But the guy I’m with now, he’s just different like I don’t know how to explain it. Plus we met out of nowhere, like I was not expecting him or a relationship at all. But I’m really happy I met him Bc he genuinely makes me happy and makes me feel heard too.
How are you doing?
the main problem is is that almost no one chooses to love themself. Thats why they keep ending up in failing relationships. Learn to love yourself first, when you do that you are choosing yourself and choosing happiness and then you will become the right person for you and then attract to you a person who is another form of you to love you just as much.
True.
And most times meet people that just turns our world around and we can't help but love them and love ourselves more for loving them. Love is like an ocean, you just can't measure it's depth
“love is a choice” i could not agree more. If love was based on mere passion that that passion, would be as if you were eating supplements to grow muscle but you weren’t going to the gym. It’s not going to be long lasting.
Love is a decision to be the best version of yourself to be able to give the best to others, to be there for that person unconditionally, to be loyal and honest. That. is. LOVE💓
We loved eachother but were incompatible - this perfectly defines the two year long relationship I just ended. I wish I would have been wise to this earlier.
A lot of people in our generation mistake love for lust. It’s easy to fall in lust but love is so much deeper. It took me a long time to learn this, love is being your true self with someone and visa versa.
is it possible if i wanted to ask you to elaborate more on the difference between love and lust based on your experience and perspective?
@@illy_lia i will answer, if I may. To me, lust is just a strong physical attraction, or infatuation. Love is soo much more. It's truly caring for a person. Wanting them to be happy and doing your best efforts to make them happy in every way possible. It's oftentimes putting their wants and needs first. It's respect. I can go on but these are the main points
I wish people would talk more about love being a choice it's a shame people don't look at it like this
falling in love isn’t a choice, but commitment is
"Become what you want to attract." That's very solid. Takes real work though!
I haven’t been in a relationship in 3 years. The longer I went being single, the less I valued myself and thought that I would always be undesired and unloved. It was only earlier this year that I finally saw my self destructive pattern of self loathing and people pleasing for what it was and vowed to make a change. I got into mediation and positive affirmation and started accepting that my mistakes and insecurities don’t define who I am as a person. I’ve never felt better about myself.
The loneliness still comes and goes, but each time I remind myself how lucky I am, because the longer I keep building myself into the self fulfilled person that we are all meant to be, the more likely that I’m going to be open and ready for a relationship with the right someone that comes along. You gotta have love for yourself before you can give any love to another.
This was very insightful. I’m 20 years young so I’m gonna take this with me forever. Thank u
I absolutely agree, you attract who you are , and someone actually said that to me , the whole relationships are very much a give and a take. not only take , they are beneficial. you get with someone who gives you something (money , house , car ) and you give something in return (helps with cleaning, bills , etc )
Wow, "You don't manifest what you want, You manifest who you are." Love the spin on that phrase. Makes you see it in a diff way. So truee.
I like to say: "Start to become the person a soul needs"
Become the person your Soul needs or become the person any Soul needs?
Biggest takeaway for me from this was the compatibility vs love. Personally I see that with alot of people close to me and it hurts to watch people lie to themselves simply because they "love" or "think they love" that person.
I did it myself for a time and basically put myself in a space where that person could do no wrong and it just got worse than I could have ever imagined.
So I hate to see it.
I definitely agree. Falling in love is easy... chosing and finding someone you're compatible with not so much some times.
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How do you know you are compatible with that person?
I don't think alot of people do know the answer to that question when they think they love someone. I think we choose people based on emotion and feeling as opposed to what fits logically. I dont really believe in "matchmakers" or " love gurus" but I do almost think it takes a third party who has no attachment to the situation to help figure out what who is "compatible" with whom.
Please how do you know you’re compatible with the person??
@@TammyKaren-ut1ih I don't have the correct answer to that question. I feel like I touched on that in my reply above.
Biggest take away was the gut to mind connection. It just happened as I was talking, my stomach started to turn because I was operating I'm fear. Great video! 🎉
I feel like the most important thing in the long run is how kind someone is
So I always try to be as kind as possible, hasn’t worked for me as far as relationships goes seeing as I’ve never been on a date
But being kind is it’s own reward
True kindness is a reward itself. Good luck in finding love my friend♥️👍
The world always needs kind people & more random acts of kindness.
it’s a shame that so much kindness is taken for granted
Being kind was never in my favor. People (especially women these days) think i want something from them or have ulterior motives. I’m nice simply because i am, I don’t have any motives. And as you said, it’s far more rewarding.
Loved watching this. However, I recently read about a study that came out on the topic of compatibility. It basically said something to the effects that you actually make a choice to be compatible with someone, you find common interests, you choose the type of relationship you want to have with someone and it’s all about how you both decide to build it. ❤️ I wouldn’t say to give up hope on someone just because someone else told you you two may not be compatible 🤷🏼♀️
Agreed, you make your choice in the way that you are still comfortable with.
Firstly, Its weird, because at the beginning I thought this was a Mark Manson video, as you have similar mannerisms and inflection. thats a compliment, as he is my favorite wordsmith.
secondly, you summed up love versus limerence beautifully.
i had to learn to be alone to fully appreciate what love really is. i knew codependence. I knew losing my identity and doing anything to avoid abandonment.
i found that love is not ownership. i love people without having to have them be "mine" and not being in a relationship and responsible for anothers feelings is a relief for once. it helped me love me.
gotta remember that through rose colored glasses, red flags just look like flags.
great vid man!