How to Stop Being Shy (Communicate with Confidence)

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 2.7K

  • @LindaRaynier
    @LindaRaynier  5 ปีที่แล้ว +1453

    Are you someone who identifies with being "shy"? 🤭Do you feel nervous when talking to others, telling yourself that you simply just "don't know what to say...?" Share your story below and tell me how you've overcame it or if you haven't yet, what tips you will be using to do so!

    • @vantimnguyen8055
      @vantimnguyen8055 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Linda Raynier Thank you verry much

    • @FlamingBasketballClub
      @FlamingBasketballClub 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @Ancient Tomato Damn cuh too savage 😂

    • @FlamingBasketballClub
      @FlamingBasketballClub 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Did you get a tan?

    • @kadijatuanifabangura1330
      @kadijatuanifabangura1330 5 ปีที่แล้ว +59

      Yes am shy and when am asked question I became nervous to answer and even during presentation

    • @tarigadam955
      @tarigadam955 5 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Thx so much dear Linda
      Wen speaking with someone and his full focus with me directly I m getting confuse and stop speaking
      Please help me with this

  • @naokhoirom3064
    @naokhoirom3064 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3673

    I feel too shy to speak infront of people. But when i was alone i feel confident to speck out.

    • @courtneychase5012
      @courtneychase5012 5 ปีที่แล้ว +59

      Me too

    • @lavans06
      @lavans06 5 ปีที่แล้ว +58

      wait - being alone, who will you speak out to? If you mean having an internal dialogue with yourself, then sure makes sense. Otherwise as an introverted approach it's OK to be alone - you just don't need to talk though

    • @olumideodeyemi9749
      @olumideodeyemi9749 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Same

    • @kterangel1800
      @kterangel1800 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Me too

    • @florencenjoroge2844
      @florencenjoroge2844 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Me too

  • @michaelabanks8786
    @michaelabanks8786 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5247

    I think being shy sometimes can be lack of confidence, or worried about what people think of you

    • @mangv__
      @mangv__ 4 ปีที่แล้ว +215

      I always feel that

    • @hopechinyere83
      @hopechinyere83 4 ปีที่แล้ว +82

      Am always shy , i even find it discuss to speak

    • @cabalogia
      @cabalogia 4 ปีที่แล้ว +86

      If you are not an evil person nor wish bad karma on anyone why hold back and close yourself to others? Accepting that got me past it and also realizing that the base of life are relations. We are all a product of human relationships at different levels and nothing could get accomplished without them.

    • @jesushatsunemiku6165
      @jesushatsunemiku6165 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      michaela banks Y E S

    • @floricacreciun2575
      @floricacreciun2575 4 ปีที่แล้ว +143

      Im a very shy person even when i walk up infront of people i think that they are talkin abt me

  • @Itisrealtalk
    @Itisrealtalk 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4951

    I don't speak to others because I feel like they'll quickly start judging me. And this starts a chain reaction in my mind and there comes negativity and awkwardness.

    • @Mena-ie9hn
      @Mena-ie9hn 5 ปีที่แล้ว +56

      Same!!

    • @DaisyNijjer
      @DaisyNijjer 5 ปีที่แล้ว +42

      sameeee

    • @jocelynplumos7316
      @jocelynplumos7316 5 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      I am same as you before

    • @breeze5971
      @breeze5971 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      same..haha

    • @YoungProfessionals
      @YoungProfessionals 5 ปีที่แล้ว +82

      Sounds like social anxiety. Try meditating or taking deep breaths

  • @DrJonTam
    @DrJonTam 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1409

    03:41 - Adopt a curious mindset.
    04:50 - Elaborate on your responses.
    05:15 - Have story to share.
    06:10 - Be present and listen intently.

    • @mingfanghe9892
      @mingfanghe9892 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Underrated

    • @Ruth-EstherCIVA
      @Ruth-EstherCIVA 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Thank you

    • @ok_computer12
      @ok_computer12 3 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      And don't focus on yourself rather focus on the other person or situation.

    • @naveenswarnkar4180
      @naveenswarnkar4180 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you sir 💐.

    • @maydavalle
      @maydavalle 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I’m not a good story~teller.😣

  • @itsjustannn
    @itsjustannn 4 ปีที่แล้ว +687

    I've been shy literally all my life. When I turned 13 I started forcing myself into social events without thinking twice, giving my name to literally everything that I have to socialize with other people. I even volunteered to work in a booth at school (It was like a celebration for something) and that forced me to talk to strangers and that decently made me more comfortable with speaking with other people. I started becoming less shy and I talk almost everyone without being shy. I'm 15 now and I still l lack confidence. I can speak with people but I look uncomfortable and get anxious sometimes. It gets awkward. I hope I'll become more confident with myself.

    • @eekeey
      @eekeey 4 ปีที่แล้ว +46

      Kudos to you for putting yourself out there, and bettering yourself. 👍

    • @tamie341
      @tamie341 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      It is a life long process. Continual progress throughout the years is important, if you learn "everything" but just forget it later then it was a waste of time. Maintain skills and progress.

    • @Sofia-bl9cb
      @Sofia-bl9cb 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      that's so inspiring!! i'm 17 and starting my journey now, i really feel like i'm going to become at least a little less shy. i'm working on self love and self expression too. we can do this :)

    • @Minotaur-ey2lg
      @Minotaur-ey2lg 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      You’re on the right path. Half way there actually. Next step is to attain competence, that just takes time. I became a lot less shy when I felt like i could give informed information on something. Best of luck bud.

    • @ssoulace
      @ssoulace 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Don’t worry your like me I’m 16 and get really really shy to the fact that I get red but honestly this is a teen stage my mom even went through it and now she’s such a confident bubbly mom haha

  • @marceljadepadua1883
    @marceljadepadua1883 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5835

    I am shy but I am talkative. You know that feeling?

  • @Zushimari
    @Zushimari 5 ปีที่แล้ว +875

    I agree too much self-consciousness can really affect our way of dealing with others.

    • @sami6841
      @sami6841 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      soon md indeed,I went through it and it's definitely not a good feeling

    • @norcadreeleria8241
      @norcadreeleria8241 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      soon md true and I don’t want to be like this 😭

    • @mphojustine2769
      @mphojustine2769 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      am going to try first 2 steps hope they wl work ..i wl be applyng t from today to monday mayb by den i wl b hving a gud habit.aas thy say "it tkes 7 consecutive day to build a character...

    • @gracelan6515
      @gracelan6515 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yeah and that's my problem. Im always after what people are thinking of me, if they want me or not and it's disgusting

  • @mylifeisajokeofficial
    @mylifeisajokeofficial 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1676

    Finally, people in the comments down below who understand me. Can we all just make a club and become friends?

  • @Azizajewelry
    @Azizajewelry 4 ปีที่แล้ว +456

    Wow. This is so true. I used to be shy. Like my whole life...like for 30+ years. When I realized that I was shy because I was self focused, I just started interacting more with people based on the premise that everyone likes me and I started talking to people from a space of being interested in them and genuinely curious about them and no longer worrying about how I appear to them. After years of practice, I’m wayyyy less shy! Now, I’m just my natural normal weird self. 😂😉

    • @Steve-vb5cz
      @Steve-vb5cz 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      That's Great News! Way to Go!

    • @Sofancykelly
      @Sofancykelly 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Wow I’ve been shy for the longest and I’ve been trying to work on it .

    • @rickygjohnson8857
      @rickygjohnson8857 ปีที่แล้ว

      Lovely

    • @iaprawitasari3028
      @iaprawitasari3028 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thanks for sharing ❤

  • @callie6902
    @callie6902 4 ปีที่แล้ว +895

    I’m shy, like *EXTREMELY* shy. Talking and socializing is the last thing on my list, people say I’m nice, quiet, and gentle all the time. Here’s something to never say to some one shy “Why don’t you ever talk” “wow you actually said something” those things make me not want to talk anymore. I have all those worries all the time. When someone I’m not close to comes up to me and talks to me, I freeze, I just say “yeah”, or just nod or laugh. The thought that comes to my head is “I bet they don’t like me because I’m shy” and now I know it is because I don’t talk to them. Being shy actually sucks
    edit: hi! i commented this 1 year ago, and i remember that i commented this because i felt like i wasn’t doing enough with my social skills. i wasn’t good at making friends, talking and standing up myself.
    i still am struggling with all of those things, but i still found a way to except myself with it and even thought it sucks and i hate myself for it, know it’ll get better:)

    • @Manny-km5sl
      @Manny-km5sl 4 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      Same wtf someone said why don’t I talk I said I didn’t know no one on that class wtf how I was knew on that class

    • @gracelan6515
      @gracelan6515 4 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      I feel you I already experienced it and it made me feel so down. But I realize that we just need to love ourselves and be confident. Now I changed, not that much but I could say I'm better now than before. It's all in our mindset, still sometimes I think of why I have this kind of personality or feeling when I'm in front of people

    • @aeiou9423
      @aeiou9423 3 ปีที่แล้ว +39

      I really hate it when they're questioning me why i dont talk!

    • @callie6902
      @callie6902 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@aeiou9423 right!

    • @eatingm1437
      @eatingm1437 3 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      Yes its really true! I remember years ago when I had family gathering, my aunt deliberately asked if I was mute just because I didnt say anything. I was like wtf and it makes me feel more shy to speak. Until now it is still difficult for me to speak and most of it because I dont know what to say. My mind is busy thinking about what others think about me. This sucks and I really wanted to change but I just find it so difficult😭 well.. thats why I end up watching this video. Hopefully it will helps😢

  • @smohammadhn
    @smohammadhn 5 ปีที่แล้ว +771

    Usually, there's a person in the comment section summarizing the video and getting tons of likes. let's see if that works!!
    a brief summary of the video; 4 tips to stop being shy:
    1. Adopt a curious mindset (shift your attention from yourself to your partner)
    2. Elaborate on your responses to your partner (explain more; not just one word)
    3. Have a story to share (especially a hilarious one would do the trick)
    4. Be present and listen intently (Listen to what your partner is saying and stop being out of the picture)
    Hope you guys enjoy! :D

    • @cam0987
      @cam0987 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Liked!💚

    • @KM-sf6zy
      @KM-sf6zy 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      ATLEAST IT'S BEEN A DOSEN OF LIKES :)

    • @smohammadhn
      @smohammadhn 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@KM-sf6zy haha ... Yeah better than nothing😂

    • @irisespanola560
      @irisespanola560 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Not all heroes wear capes lmao thanks dude 😂

    • @densiefleuridor956
      @densiefleuridor956 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you 🙏🏾.

  • @omaogoke4673
    @omaogoke4673 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    I am such a shy person, I can’t talk in public and I don’t like that. I want to be confident in addressing people or presenting anything at all.

  • @nz1264
    @nz1264 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Being shy is really effecting my everyday life, I blush so much when talking to people

    • @Je11keng
      @Je11keng 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      OMG SAME!

  • @feelingsdecoded
    @feelingsdecoded 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Lower self confidence and over self consciousness really comes in the way of communicating with other people. Shifting the focus from yourself to others is a really good tip.

  • @timburtonisthebestprovemewrong
    @timburtonisthebestprovemewrong 2 ปีที่แล้ว +71

    My shyness started when I was 8 Bc when I was gonna preset in front of class I stuttered and everyone started laughing at me I almost cried in tears, and I continued my presentation. When I came home my thoughts keep saying that I should stop talking , but I'm very talkative to my close friends and family I'm trying my best to get rid my shyness 🤗. Take care y'all ♥

    • @iamsfrequenciesofthought5222
      @iamsfrequenciesofthought5222 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      The same exact thing happened to me! I was probably about 10yrs old... I too, am very talkative 😊 Have a great day!

    • @flimedbylia
      @flimedbylia ปีที่แล้ว

      My shyness started when i was 9

  • @chuckgeer
    @chuckgeer 5 ปีที่แล้ว +402

    Some of us are anxious in social situations simply because we are naturally born that way. We are not necessarily focused on ourselves.

    • @drewm9660
      @drewm9660 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      chuck, you get it. never here doctors say this.

    • @shainamorel576
      @shainamorel576 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      It's totally true! I'm agree with you 😮

    • @jaderamirez6994
      @jaderamirez6994 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Chuck Geer some of us have ptsd. Easy for her to say. I start shaking even when I am trying so hard to listen

    • @madilynandujar7155
      @madilynandujar7155 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Nobody is actually born with social anxiety... We just weren't thought enough to not be anxious when it comes to being in a social setting. We can actually learn and/or get used to it. It's going to be hard for some but it's not impossible tho. With help losing the fear is possible.

    • @louiseleite3866
      @louiseleite3866 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@madilynandujar7155 I was. I suffer from AvPD and inherited from my father.

  • @teroyselfhelpjourney3661
    @teroyselfhelpjourney3661 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    In my experience there's 2 phases to overcoming shyness. The first is the obvious one, putting yourself in more social situations (which makes you more comfortable/confident in them). But for some people, we'll start to put on a persona and become too agreeable even when we don't want to be, and hold back our true thoughts or opinions. The 2nd phase is forcing yourself to just speak what's on your mind. That second phase is important for true freedom, and speaking authentically what you truly want to.

  • @mundanemuslimah
    @mundanemuslimah 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    OMG What she's saying is so true 😟😟
    I'm always talking to myself rather than talking out.

    • @vj-episodes8039
      @vj-episodes8039 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I understand you and I kinda managed to deal with the fear, I even recorded a video about it on my channel if you are interested in it. And have you ever tried to hide when some guest were at your home?

  • @jesushatsunemiku6165
    @jesushatsunemiku6165 4 ปีที่แล้ว +588

    You’ll grow out of it they said...

    • @avelyseodle9278
      @avelyseodle9278 4 ปีที่แล้ว +62

      Yup. I feel like ive grown into it instead, and it’s like my thing now 😂

    • @ballsinyobooty
      @ballsinyobooty 4 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      I hate it I hate it I hate it so much no matter how much I try

    • @tamie341
      @tamie341 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      They were wrong......

    • @micailaoblepias451
      @micailaoblepias451 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I didnt even grow.

    • @jesushatsunemiku6165
      @jesushatsunemiku6165 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Avelyse Odle relatable

  • @younesrammach2501
    @younesrammach2501 3 ปีที่แล้ว +56

    I think shyness is a habit, so we have to break it by practicing. 🙂

  • @Elysian_s
    @Elysian_s 5 ปีที่แล้ว +96

    I totally agree if you shift focus from yourself to others it really helps! Great video

    • @masaweangel6152
      @masaweangel6152 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      It is so interesting I love it

  • @queenofdivas5494
    @queenofdivas5494 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    This short video changed my life!!!! This not only prevents me from being shy but the method of “not thinking about yourself” works in lots of situations!

  • @natalierodrigez7341
    @natalierodrigez7341 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    After almost 2 years I eventually found you to say THANK YOU. It was the first random video I saw😊 that had sort of trigger for me..... Your video was the start of my transformation process.

    • @sbodlamini7476
      @sbodlamini7476 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      How have you dealt with this condition?

    • @natalierodrigez7341
      @natalierodrigez7341 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@sbodlamini7476 all our answers are inside us ...

    • @sbodlamini7476
      @sbodlamini7476 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I'm not sure abt that......I've tried everything but the panic and anxiety persists......

    • @natalierodrigez7341
      @natalierodrigez7341 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@sbodlamini7476 a ok. When a person says I can or I cannot , in both cases she /he is right .....

  • @romarue
    @romarue 3 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    I'm one of those who had been shy when I'm in front of people, trying so hard to embrace my flaws and mistake and do learn from it. This is such a good tips, Well appreciated!💙

  • @Kdollzie
    @Kdollzie ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I've been shy a good portion of my life. I see pictures of myself as a child and my body language alone tells me I was always like that and it was practiced. Hiding behind my parents. Always fading in the background and I got too comfortable with that. I've been fighting hard to overcome it. I have to be the adult I needed as a child 🚸 to break free from this mindset. I am working to communicate clearly to become a strong leader. Get my points across to accomplish bigger things.

  • @myinnerthoughtsvoiced
    @myinnerthoughtsvoiced 5 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    I am also a shy person and I agree with all the things that you discussed and its very helpful for me

  • @latanyaclark113
    @latanyaclark113 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I agree that shyness is a learned behavior and it doesn't help when others point it out because you tend to take on the qualities of shyness. I'm glad there are self help videos out there!

  • @pamelafaye6407
    @pamelafaye6407 5 ปีที่แล้ว +201

    i am quiet person i dont usually a social person i only speak when needed. thanks for help

  • @divinedelardc3186
    @divinedelardc3186 4 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    I used to be shy and i think it’s just that I’m focusing on myself, I think I’m clumsy and it always breaks when I want to express myself. I'm often afraid of being off topic

  • @SeFu2006
    @SeFu2006 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I have no idea how else to get rid of shyness but for me it’s having a career that gives you real joy and propels you forward in life, when you’re moving forward in life and having fun at the same time it creates a confidence like no other.

  • @rello1990
    @rello1990 4 ปีที่แล้ว +186

    Tip #5: *Accept Yourself*

    • @sacha_msky
      @sacha_msky 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      accept my mystakes ? id rather work on it, i dont like this kind of mindset that u are sharing

  • @Jun_Coco
    @Jun_Coco 5 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    Great tips! I’m always a shy person and still is somewhat. But now I totally understand where the shyness is coming from. It’s so true, I’m way to focus on myself image, too focused on what others will think/judge me. I will definitely remember to keep a curious mind. Thanks!

  • @rawtoast1
    @rawtoast1 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    I can talk to my friend and be myself (I’m very weird) and I never can be myself around anyone else. I tip I like to remember is that: People always feel like their being judged by what they say or wear but the truth is that the people you think are judging you are really thinking that everyone is judging them.

  • @amethystessence
    @amethystessence 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    These are really useful tips on how to stop being shy and becoming really confident. A lot of people do not realize that shyness can be dealt with. First, it has to be an intentional decision, then an acknowledgement and willingness to move out of your comfort zone. I find this relevant because I have been through a similar journey of moving from reserved to bold and confident and thankfully, I am more than willing to often share the useful tips that made me confident and vocal enough to engage on various platforms.

  • @ciel0533
    @ciel0533 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    im one of these people so shy, by the used of vlogging im starting to overcome it. not focusing on my self but by other people. not to be afraid of being judge and what people might say instead im starting to embrace my flaws.

  • @pitpit7694
    @pitpit7694 5 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    Thank you. You’re really a big help to us. Im so shy , i get nervous when i speak to someone im not close with.

  • @maryantonetteb.lukban1374
    @maryantonetteb.lukban1374 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Hi Linda! You really have that CHARISMA thing, which helps us to enjoy your advice and tips without getting bored or irritated to the speaker. Thank you, your videos are helpful!

  • @nicholasmorley2719
    @nicholasmorley2719 5 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    This is brilliant.. You are so helpful. I use to feel lick I was trapped when in a meeting with my boss and other co-workers cause u are right I was focused on how I feel not about the topic at hand.thanks Linda I'll do what u said in this video thankyou.

  • @Danis_diaries
    @Danis_diaries ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This was absolutely fantastic. I have had my first week at my internship and my thoughts have mainly been about me not being good enough to be there and I see that these thoughts have made me very shy in the work place. Thank you for such a great video!

  • @gazal481
    @gazal481 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    You are absolutely wright because it happens with me all the time. When I talks to others .

  • @bitterveins
    @bitterveins 5 ปีที่แล้ว +170

    Hi, please consider making a podcast. I would love to listen to you during my morning commute to work.

    • @sayedelsaidy660
      @sayedelsaidy660 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      You can download this video and convert it to mp3

    • @edwinemuze6847
      @edwinemuze6847 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Pretty you🤙

  • @wannaonemissyou3564
    @wannaonemissyou3564 4 ปีที่แล้ว +113

    I was too confident when I was little . Because I wasn't insecure I wasn't pretty back then coz I didn't knew what's the beauty standards are So I never payed attention to that but my confidence level went down coz as I grew older I got acne and facial hair which were terrible it dragged my confidence down . As I grew older I started to groom myself and now I look at myself in the mirror and I feel beautiful I tell myself I'm beautiful it really helps 😊❤️ . I am still alittle shy . But I know its okay and I will again become that confident girl I once was .

    • @adoumhellouabdoulaye5857
      @adoumhellouabdoulaye5857 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hello

    • @ayanna_mx4613
      @ayanna_mx4613 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Same here 😭💔

    • @taliw7736
      @taliw7736 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Me too ! I was super bold now I need to let go of my insecure parts of me and my nervousness

    • @mk-it7ms
      @mk-it7ms 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      You looks good tho

  • @binkyfaith
    @binkyfaith 5 ปีที่แล้ว +490

    I'm severely shy and my eye contact is horrid. I ramble and laugh at weird times due to nervousness

    • @wymabajdirnd5905
      @wymabajdirnd5905 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      binky Faith looks the person in the middle of there eyes that usually helps

    • @shhviana
      @shhviana 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      ....same

    • @dunkinnatalie
      @dunkinnatalie 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Saaaame

    • @georgiah52ver63
      @georgiah52ver63 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Lol u funny

    • @uhdobo7
      @uhdobo7 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      This may sound funny but it helps to practice and imagine yourself having a conversation with your reflection in front of a mirror. Maintain eye contact as long as possible and get comfortable with it until it becomes natural to speak to someone that way.

  • @Faith-zp5kf
    @Faith-zp5kf 4 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    1)Adopt a curious mindset
    2)Elaborate on your responses
    3) Have a story to share
    4) Be present and listen intently

  • @jenlisabecause
    @jenlisabecause 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Most people are shy because they are scared of what people will think of them. If someone asks you "why dont you talk" or "wow you talked" will make someone lose confidence. And sometimes what will help is that if you treat a shy person like a person who is not shy they will feel normal and start talking more.

  • @aejaypk5332
    @aejaypk5332 5 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    I love this! It really fits in my current situation. I moved here in the US and I just got my dream job, but the problem is that I am way too shy, to the point where it’s giving me a hard to connect with people. I agree with what you mentioned in the video, that I tend to focus too much on myself, being way too much worried on what others will think about me and the result is that I am actually putting myself in an awkward situation. I need to “delete” this shyness in me. I have to move forward and be curious! Glad that I have found this video! 😊 really helpful!

  • @tamarajay7676
    @tamarajay7676 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I really like the way you speak and talk, its my goal to speak the way you do. Another thing I like is that your extremely confident but not egotistical and threatening. Its the perfect amount of confidence while being very kind and open. When im confident sometimes i come has rude, which I want to correct.

  • @nicnak5506
    @nicnak5506 5 ปีที่แล้ว +231

    I feel like i have nothing to add to any conversation bc im a super homebody!

    • @kaiteeet7325
      @kaiteeet7325 5 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      Nicki B omg yes! I have no stories to tell😭

    • @almacastro6657
      @almacastro6657 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Same,i dont know what to say😔

    • @kemarrobinson1912
      @kemarrobinson1912 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yes

    • @dinapadillatumanda2268
      @dinapadillatumanda2268 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I suggest telling them interesting stories when you were qt home or when you were little and be curious about his/hers also.
      As an example.. i talked to a stranger classmate in highschool qbout my gradeschool where we(elem buds) had a group project and i brought earthworms to class , thinking those were part of the project.. i then asked him of his embarrassing momments at the same time reasurring he is not feeling akward and such... then before i knew, we became lost in our own little convo..

    • @dinapadillatumanda2268
      @dinapadillatumanda2268 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I also suggest talking about your qnd their hobbies, likes or dislikes , fav movie, embarrassing experiences,what their doing now, what ..etc
      2tip:Be determined enough to overcome your anxiety.. convince yourself
      (Also give a little prayer in your mind that you may communicate well with others qnd overcome your social anxiety)
      Cause these are what helped me overcome my social anxiety..heh i still have some left right now.. but not as much as before :>

  • @Daniela09485
    @Daniela09485 4 ปีที่แล้ว +43

    I feel like I can be really shy to speak and have a conversation with someone one day, and the next day I have more confident, and I can speak to everybody, Thats so hard to live with because I Don’t know if I’m going to get shy or not. And when I mean shy like one second I get so red and warm, it looks like I have workout haha.

  • @ecvybez9584
    @ecvybez9584 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank u so much for this opportunity, been going through this for many years now. I always find it difficult talking to people especially in class bcuz im shy. I try working on myself but it's not working

  • @_strawberry_2971
    @_strawberry_2971 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    When I was a kid all teachers were happy that I never talk or play in class, and they would said that I was a saint and good kid. And I start believe that if I want to be a good kid I don't have to talk, only the necessary. And now, with 16 ( in 6 days 17) it's so complicated to be or to do something else. But now, no one thinks that a kid that doesn't talk is good. I feel uncomfortable at any place that's not my house. I have lost many friendship and the opportunity to make more because of this. But I going to start to change this!!

  • @caesarasaah9336
    @caesarasaah9336 5 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    Hi I am a nursing student who experiences tough times when ever am been asked to do a presentation in the mist of my mates, buh I think u helped me a lot
    Keep it up

    • @JehrDotson
      @JehrDotson 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Caesar Asaah same here 💕

  • @KateReding
    @KateReding 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    This was a problem for so long, especially on camera. Thanks so much for sharing your tips with us. 🖤

  • @camhaw
    @camhaw ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Excellent video! Shy person here and everything you said is absolutely true!! Very helpful tips that I'll start implementing immediately! Thank you!

  • @janetvaleraschreckengast
    @janetvaleraschreckengast ปีที่แล้ว +1

    My problem of being shy is I am worried what other would think about me to much now that I have to focus on others while talking I am going to apply it in my daily life. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and God bless

  • @niranjanm4337
    @niranjanm4337 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Linda thanks for helping me, YOU amd YOUR WAYS of speaking is beautiful

  • @amarachiubeh4041
    @amarachiubeh4041 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I feel sooo shy honestly 😌
    But I always feel free and comfortable when I'm alone

  • @GrowbyJoe
    @GrowbyJoe 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Confidence is the key! Thanks Linda

  • @poudinniumai7471
    @poudinniumai7471 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    What you are saying is totally right, im that kind person shy to speak to people because im thinking of myself too much whenever i talk with new friends. This video help me alot. Thank you.

  • @gordonnicol9542
    @gordonnicol9542 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Have just started watching this and I really love your energy Linda. You have such an honest, open bubbly loveable laugh : ) I'm looking forward to losing my shyness.

  • @spaceforcekitty8252
    @spaceforcekitty8252 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Great video! It’s true as shy people we need to put boundaries on our self awareness and spend more time focusing on the other person. Redirecting this focus is challenging but doable. I’ve been working on my communication skills for a while now and have used and agree with all of the tips mentioned. I love how you explained this topic. Thank you!

  • @newendynew3343
    @newendynew3343 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Thanks for the advice Linda R. I'll try to always listen attentively when in a conversation and also be able to stop focusing on myself

  • @andreagouws9892
    @andreagouws9892 5 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    you were very helpful and what you said was unbelievably true

  • @mikkadanas5908
    @mikkadanas5908 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    i want to be a teacher and i am raised by a toxic/ abusive parents. i rarely talk in our house so i got used to it, now when i go outside and communicate with some people, it became really awkward and i always got shy because i always think what people will think of my opinion. watching one of these videos really helps me. :)

  • @fatin1731
    @fatin1731 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    We build too many walls and not enough bridges! Linda, i love that quote so much!

  • @__thedeagle___2021
    @__thedeagle___2021 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I’ve been diagnosed with asperger syndrome in middle school, so I just accepted my being shy like a part of me, I just avoid every social events and limit myself to do long lonely walks

  • @MissMani
    @MissMani 5 ปีที่แล้ว +97

    @2:39 How she just read my whole social life like that?

    • @Susan_001
      @Susan_001 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Miss Mani me too

    • @tamie341
      @tamie341 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Bruh she knows U

  • @jhs4647
    @jhs4647 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I am from South Korea and this is exactly what I have been looking for

  • @krystalcorona5461
    @krystalcorona5461 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    YES! I've been way too lost in my own thoughts in my head to be able to connect or speak with others.

  • @arsueyein789
    @arsueyein789 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    As student, i have a lot of opinions to share with teacher and friends, however i am not confident. After watching this tips, i am more confident to talk and share my opinions to others . thank you for the tips .

  • @aaugus91
    @aaugus91 5 ปีที่แล้ว +218

    ...we build to many walls and not enough bridges...good advice!!!!

    • @hugobernabe
      @hugobernabe 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      The only gate I know, is the golden gate bridge.. smh lol

    • @freeapp6266
      @freeapp6266 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I am also shy person during I speak to someone I don't know how can I speak 😊

    • @kheleecebrown1799
      @kheleecebrown1799 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Most definitely a lot times l would do that especially if don't know the person.I use to be outgoing and friendly but now a days l am careful who l would enter into a friendly conversation with.

  • @rosalieingal4594
    @rosalieingal4594 5 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    I do understand what they’re conveying with me is just that I became nervous then my mind get blank ...i need to improve my confidence i guess

    • @joanjoyquisay1776
      @joanjoyquisay1776 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hey Rosalie! I’ve visited and watched Velody’s videos and it helps me a lot. You can visit the Velody Official Channel, which publishes helpful videos on presentation & camera confidence every Thursday, and is quick to answer questions in comments, she can certainly help! Best of luck

  • @saralight8634
    @saralight8634 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    This is exactly happen to me! Thank you for your tips, it's help me to be confident

  • @markmergia12
    @markmergia12 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you for your information. I will try what you presented.

  • @EuniceFred
    @EuniceFred ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Am shy because i was born into a culture where women are expected to be humble.. am glad i was able to hear this..

  • @yishenwang7642
    @yishenwang7642 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Thank you for sharing these good points! Somehow I know what is wrong but I could not summary these just like you did.

  • @jazzyl7986
    @jazzyl7986 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I get shy and nervous when I talk in a group setting. Working on overcoming my fear.

  • @shainamorel576
    @shainamorel576 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I'm still afraid to seem weird. I still think people aren't interested in what i say, that's why i put myself aside, and stand me away from people. Sometimes i can't stop being shy. It's a kind of shield.

  • @PauloSilva-qu1fs
    @PauloSilva-qu1fs 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I love this chanel because while I'm learning how to be a better professional, I also improve my English skills! Thank you, Linda! You're awesome!

  • @mariaceaser2956
    @mariaceaser2956 ปีที่แล้ว

    That’s me I’m focus on my self, by watching this video, I have to learn how to switch my focus to the other person. Great video, I will keep watching until I get the hang of it.

  • @eunhaelee7812
    @eunhaelee7812 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I guessed this is me.Thank you for this amazing video..

  • @jamespaz4333
    @jamespaz4333 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Exactly! But here is the thing. In your own shyness ideas don't come up easy and you start giving simple answers: "Yes, of course", "Absolutely", .... etc.

    • @jamespaz4333
      @jamespaz4333 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      The key is to break the walls. Please share something about this 😅

  • @modhish29
    @modhish29 5 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    Though “Humble” is different than shy - just a note

  • @livelaughlove2102
    @livelaughlove2102 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I think being shy can be outgrown. Thank you for your very interesting topic.

    • @vj-episodes8039
      @vj-episodes8039 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hahaha, how can I argue with this. I acted as crazy in Russia, I have a video about it if you are interested. Hmmm I heard an alien sound at 0:07 and you?

  • @edgyintellect177
    @edgyintellect177 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Oh what great work you are doing.
    In this day and age we clearly don't have enough idiots bragging about their idiocy. This desperately needs to be fixed.
    Keep fighting the good fight!

  • @athumanikejo2395
    @athumanikejo2395 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Thats nice lesson,through this I overcomed such a circumstances,thank you for your time Miss Linda

  • @Ben-dd5dg
    @Ben-dd5dg 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I get so shy and awkward in front of people and when also of people look at me I die inside and I have no confidence. I always get the “Why don’t you speak” “ I didn’t know you were there” You’re so sweet”

  • @jeaninneumurungi1035
    @jeaninneumurungi1035 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Thank u very much Linda,i've discoverd how to stop being shy

  • @renz1092
    @renz1092 ปีที่แล้ว

    I think what you've said is basically right and true, Raised by a humble and quiet family will turn you into shy and lack of confidence to communicate with others, but if you want to be good like others you need to break that wall, a humble and shy into confident person.

  • @keekeesk
    @keekeesk 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Thank you 😢You absolutely right...

  • @oliviaporshae6867
    @oliviaporshae6867 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    every time i talk either people don’t listen or they talk over me. that’s why i stay to myself and just talk to the few people ik. and when people actually wanna get to know me i don’t know how to keep a conversation or it will just be awkward 😬

  • @Connectingthedots.
    @Connectingthedots. 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    This is a great video, well presented and beneficial content. Tip #1 to shift your focus from yourself to the other person, from my experience this has helped me the most, once you get out of your own head, you are able to "take up space" meaning, you give yourself permission to be more authentic and express more of who you truly are. The more and more you practice this, it becomes a habit, and then part of your "identity" to be authentic to you. Stop the self sabotage in your own mind. You are worth it, you are amazing and you are perfect just the way you are. When you think about it, the person or people you are talking to are also in their own heads and anything they say or do is a projection of their inner world/ perceptions & has nothing to do with you (in most cases).
    Another way that has helped me, is to face it head on. I started allowing myself to speak and present at business meetings and now I have started my own TH-cam channel about my passions, which I am learning about myself and aiming to help others do the same through every single video.

  • @thebritishconfidencecoach9623
    @thebritishconfidencecoach9623 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Communicating with confidence IS possible. I used to be super shy, but find myself feeling much more confident these days :)

  • @evaprebil4396
    @evaprebil4396 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Tips, tricks, struggles, funny moments were basicly all over youtube and everyone Just had the same vibe making these vids

  • @supriyagune5225
    @supriyagune5225 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I am very shy to talk but I was very talkative and very confident.. I think so many are like me

  • @marieanne1989
    @marieanne1989 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I’m shy when i like a guy and can’t speak or be myself 😩this can give the impression im lack of confidence or dump or boring

  • @nyauri_writes
    @nyauri_writes 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Omg I can so relate to 2nd one I give one word ans yes or no & people think I am rude, but I am not rude I just don't tell the reason until they ask why yes or why no but I have learned from this video

  • @ad.1237
    @ad.1237 5 ปีที่แล้ว +98

    I'm so shy that I can't really have an eye contact while talking and I will be going college next year and my course involve placement but im really scared that I might not be able to do it.

    • @JUST_LYNE1
      @JUST_LYNE1 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I felt the same but I just got myself blending in

    • @mimilarbo2845
      @mimilarbo2845 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Me too

    • @tiffanychester9960
      @tiffanychester9960 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      A Diallo how are you doing now, I’m starting college this fall at Towson university.

    • @عبداللهالعبري-ز3ض
      @عبداللهالعبري-ز3ض 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      What happened to you

    • @ad.1237
      @ad.1237 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@tiffanychester9960 hey. Sorry for the 3 years late reply. I would say I'm still the same in term of being shy. Now I'm in second yr of uni, studying nursing. I always thought I would grow out of my shyness but I didn’t unfortunately. I think my shyness have related to my low self-esteem and low self-confidence. I've self referred myself to get tested for any learning disabilities becoz of some signs and symptoms I've noticed. I'm hoping if it turns out I got learning disability, I'll get the right support which could increase my self-confidence etc. Because I do wanna go outside of my comfort zone. I would like to communicate and make friends without being shy.

  • @TrishBlackwell
    @TrishBlackwell 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    *_Thank you Linda. Super inspired by your words and knowledge!_*