WHITE VS BLACK CHILDREN IN GROCERY STORE | Ali Siddiq Stand Up Comedy
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 ก.พ. 2024
- Why? Because of little white children....
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Ali Siddiq is a stand-up comedian, public speaker, and writer out of Houston. Ali’s unique style of stand-up began behind the walls of incarceration, an incubator for interesting experiences and good stories.
People received their first taste of Ali Siddiq when he appeared on HBO's DEF COMEDY JAM and LIVE FROM GOTHAM, and in 2013 he was named Comedy Central's "#1 Comic to Watch". In 2014, Ali impressed comedy enthusiasts by displaying his ability to captivate an audience with his "Mexicans Got On Boots" tale, descriptive storytelling, with over 15 million views, of a prison riot on THIS IS NOT HAPPENING, the first of three appearances. His stories continued with his HALF HOUR special, which premiered on Comedy Central in the fall of 2016. Immediately following the premiere of that special, Comedy Central offered Ali an hour-special where he performed for inmates live in a Texas jail, sending Ali back to where it all started. The hour special, Ali Siddiq: It’s Bigger Than These Bars, premiered in February 2018 on Comedy Central. In 2019, Ali could be seen as a Top 5 finalist on NBC’s BRING THE FUNNY. Most recently, Ali could be seen as a guest on THE JOE ROGAN EXPERIENCE. - ตลก
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I was called Monster Mother by my friends. Once, I told my toddler daughter that we would get an Icee if she was good at the grocery. Halfway through she threw a huge tantrum. I took her and the cart to the front, apologized and left the cart (with my food choices) with a sacker and we left. I got myself an Icee and had her watch as I ate it. When she asked why didn't she get one, I said she misbehaved and embarrassed me. She never did that again.
Awesome!!!! We did that to our son when he decided to give us some lip while we were out at a ball game. We went to Dairy Queen and got ice cream and let him know exactly why he wasn’t getting any that night. Solved a number of little future problems.
I've done that. But I had them wheel my buggy into the dairy. I came back and shopped after enjoying some Baskin Robbins
I did it getting groceries before Christmas, we were going to see Santa after the food was bought, but we went home instead, it was a lesson long remembered. I like now none of these comments involve hitting and I bet the message was louder and clearer.
The fact you was called a monster mother for something as little as that is just apalling to me. If I acted that way I would've gotten yelled at and got my ass whooped.
@@dutchvanderbilt9969 right
I knew the rules before we even went to the store.
"Don't ask for sh*t and stay where I can see you"
😂😂😂
That was my mom.exactly.
😅😅😅😅
Lil Travis gonna get an @$$ wh@@p!ng when he gets home❗🤣🤣🤣
I was a little kid in the 60’s. We had “stay in the car and don’t get in the front seat”. Most cars didn’t even have air conditioners. Parents would just roll the windows down a little bit.🥵
😂😂😂 My mum just turned 97. She was 40 when she had me. The way I was raised, I didn’t even know that ‘asking’ for things in the grocery store was an option. There was a list and that was it. If it wasn’t on the list, it didn’t get bought. I was never allowed to push the trolley, but I had to keep one hand on the handle of the trolley AT ALL TIMES - and I had to stay on the side of the trolley farthest from the shelves. If I so much as accidentally brushed up against a shelved item, god help me! 😂😂 We had a big old ‘70s car with bench seats and if you messed up in the car, my 5’2” mother could do the swivel in the front seat and slap your legs even if you were scrunched up in the farthest corner of the back. I swear she had Inspector Gadget arms! ❤😂😂😂
All he had to say was "let me tell ya lil ass somethin" and I KNEW the WHOLE rest of the speech
3:02
"All over the world, no matter what *state* u from"?....
@@d2dar459 he is right every corner of the world.
Yup!!!😂😂😂😂 my mom too. It’s almost the universal speech of all minority moms.
That momma conversation is real 😂😂😂
Yeah cuz I had it with mine😂🤣😅😆😅😂
I knew that “don’t want for shit, don’t ask for shit” line all too well 😂😂
My mom said don’t look at nothing don’t ask for nothing don’t touch nothing 😂
My momma did the swivel seat while the car was still moving....that's how you know how serious she was 😂😂
Lil Travis lil bad ahhh 😂😂😂
My mom had a way of putting the car in park...as soon as we hit the parking spot. That lever slammed into park to get your attention.
"...NOW, before we go in this store..."
That speech was your warning. Ignore it at great peril. 😂🤣
My Mom and Dad didn’t have to give the speech more than once. And my Dad didn’t need a swivel seat. He could reach all of us (7) with one swipe. My parents got complements on how well behaved we were all the time. We just wanted to make it to adulthood. I’m white.
It get real like that 💯😂
@@real_eyezjames1487 📠 fax
You know what? You are absolutely right. One time I was waiting for a table to come open at a restaurant and a black woman came in with her three stepstair children, I think the oldest was about 10. She said to the oldest one, I need to go to the ladies room. When I get back, if you children are acting up, I'm going to start with you and work my way down. I tell you, those were the most well behaved children lol.
All my momma had to was cut her eyes and you froze wishing at that moment for a sink hole😳😂😂
She had lazerbeam eyes too
All of the women in my family had the death stare. You pretty much knew that you were toast if you got that far. I always understood that I was going to suffer some consequences! 🤤😂😂😂😂
Oh, yeah, if my mother cut her eyes, you betta get past arm's-length!!!
😂😂😂the conversation is soooooooo true. I lost the basket responsibility. I tore up my Moms heels. 😂😂😂
Oh, yeah, I did that---actually drew blood---my momma 'bout knocked me all the way to the other end of the aisle!!! 😂
Oooh weee, he ain’t EVEN lying!
I’m (63) and still get flashbacks when I’m in a grocery store and watch kids with their parents.
My Ma is in her grave and she STILL doesn’t play! 😂😂😂
"They don't give a fuckboutchu." 🤣 "The lighter hue." 🤣🤣 "Travis." 🤣🤣🤣 Killing up there on that stage!
As a white woman who lives in an area where the population is 50% light skin and 50% darker, he got it right! My lord, I've seen way too many kids like Travis at the store. You just want to smack them!!!!! I love this and now I have behind the scenes info😂😂😂
Hitting her heels...😂😂😂 That's a throwback
🤣🤣🤣🤣 . . And Also A Felony!!!!!
Hell yeah. You get Solitary Confinement when you get home😂
yup, feeling that
My mother was the same. Nearly verbatim 😂
I remember one time we went to the dollar store, she said "Go grab that 5 pack of wooden spoons real quick." I went and got them of course. I asked her later in the car if she was planning on making a bunch of soup or something to find out why she needed the 5 pack.
She said, with the dead eyes mom look, she had broken her last one on my sister's ass the other day and needed to restock. She added it was gonna be a rough week for us both if we didn't straighten our shit out and tighten up! 😂
My sisters and I where growing up and our mom would give us a backhand quicker than Venus and Serena Williams both would be jealous of if we acted up. I wanted something to eat - "there's the kitchen". My daughter comes along and wanted something to eat - don't think I could tell her "there's the kitchen". Oh no....my mom would be like "go fix that for her". LoL - oh how times changed. Mom has been gone for 4 years now and I miss her so much.
As good Grampa Witherspoon once said: "I hate to see a child go unbeaten." 😂
My chest! Why they say shit like this 😂😂😂😂😂😭😭😭
😂😂😂😂
This comment actually made me laugh out loud!
WHEN he said his lips were moving like he was a ventriloquist when his mom was talking 😂😂😂😂😂!!!!
Hilarious! I'm white and my parents raised us right. We had those kinds of talks on a regular basis.😂
A lost art, parenting.
My kids never even attempted to ask for anything at the store. We're Hispanic. LOL. Brought back so many memories! 😅
I was in IHOP 1 time & Becky called little Wyatt out exactly 23 times 😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂
So very true 🤣🤣 Ole School Momma was NOT EVER having it🤬🤬
We played “Have your ass at the car by the time I get out of this grocery line.”
If my momma catch me chewing!!!! Yeah, he made the right choice 😂😂😂!
I knew that speech before he even said ANYTHING. And the back of the heel...? I almost didn't make it past 8.
Travis’s mom stomping her feet 😂
Losing it
@@THESILVERNARUTO the most accurate description of little kids at the grocery store lol.."i grabbed a bag o' beans"....was hi----larious!!!!! "thank you" love this video
Hilarious. That little white boy in the grocery store was named "Lincoln" and they happened to be our neighbors. I heard his mother yell his name several times so I headed that direction and threatened "Lincoln" that if he didn't behave that we were going to have a "little chat". His mother was relieved.
It takes a village! Good job
Because you can’t do anything to kids anymore old days you did something you shouldn’t you got a little swat on the back of the head or something but you learned really fast okay don’t do that again 🤣🤣🤣🤣
The biggest issue is you can't do anything to kids anymore.
Did you know they actually arrested a father because he took away his child's cell phone? it was considered a gift therefore legally the daughters
taking away the phone was considered theft .
@@Kibatsume1 And this is just another thing that is wrong with our society.
Oh, yeah, if we did somethin' at the end of the block, by the time we got, up home, we got what-for---and slapped upside the head. That's what's wrong with kids, nowadays.... No discipline!!! You don't have to abuse a child, to discipline it, but you DO have to discipline it !!!
I remember being 5 years old and hearing them play that song, "Tequila!" in the grocery store and I busted out my best Pee Wee Herman dance! Did not care how embarrassed my mom sounded. 😅
The 'conversation' ain't changed for generations in my family!
He ain't lyin😆😆💯👏🏾
I did the “talk” in the car and “hands in pockets”! In California. Most parents thought I was way too strict. I disagree❣️❣️
you did it right
I did something similar when my son was little. Before we went in he did his wiggles and ran around for a bit. We called it getting his yayas out. I didn't let him put his hands in his pockets but he had to hold them behind his back because we're Hispanic and I didn't want him to be accused of stealing.
I did too, my sisters still think I was tooooo strict!
I sent this to my mom, we agree this guy has taught portugeese parenting 101, my firmer inkaws thought I hadvto many rules,I also had well benaved children.
I talk to my kids before we leave the house bc if they dont understand before we leave, they are staying home 😂
I forgot the boy’s🧒🏽 name but he was acting a fool in the mall. Every black person in the vicinity was in tune to the situation. We all ear hustling and hear the gmom say “I’m gonna handle him in the car” , as she started to drag him away. We all had that “ his @ss about to be worn out look” 👀.
This reminded me of Lavell Crawford's story about his mom taking him to the store as a kid 😂❤️✨
😂😂😂HE IS ONE OF MY FAVORITES🤣🤣🤣
"Now what I say??"
"U said... We gon'... pay for the electricity bill..." (Or whatever it was) 😅💯
I don’t know what y’all are talking about. My momma had “the look”! Even if I was wasn’t looking in her direction, I would “feel” her eyes! I’d turn to her and she would just give that look, and I instantly self corrected. Even today I feel those eyes on me when I think about doing dumb stuff, and she died 20 years ago! But what I wouldn’t give, to feel her hug me one more time!
I knew "the look" very well. And, if I didn't change my behavior, we left the store!
Oh, yeah---plus, our mommas had eyes in the back of their heads, TOO!!!! 😂
Oh, yeah---plus, our mommas had eyes in the back of their heads, TOO!!!! 😂
That's why I went grocery shopping with my dad 😅😅😅
😂😂😂 I love him!!! So true! No games, no samples! Hitting or even getting close to those heels was an automatic beat down!
😅😂 I remember those pre-shopping sermons my grandmother would give me before we would go into Safeway!
I cried, kicked and screamed 🤣😂
I left a whole cart of $200 worth of groceries and made everyone eat PG&J sandwiches for a week over some acting up in the grocery store. Beat those butts all the way out the store into the parking lot.....they started whining about what we gon' eat now?! You best hope I feed your bad butts!!!
We knew what we could and could not do. And we had better not act up. Today's kids need to be raised by our 60s and 70s parents.
My mother had us four in check like that forreal. Two boys two girls.. and we knew that conversation all too well.
Ali needs another special!
Domino effect 3 & 4 are coming in the next few months
@@AliSiddiqComedy honored by your comedy and perspective Ali. I can't wait to see you in person! 🙌🏾💯
@@AliSiddiqComedypls cos I’m having trouble finding the type of comedy that soothes my soul… I go to sleep to your specials….
Lmaoooo istg! I hit the back of mama heel by accident, chileeeeeeeee I got beat so bad in that store. She tore my ass up🤣‼️ We been shopping with two carts since🤣
Haha omg the bag of beans !!!
My mother was old school, we were the 2nd batch of kids she raised. We always got "the talk" before entering the store. Those were the days.
I was 6 years old in the Commissary in Pearl Harbor HI in the late 60s. I threw a tantrum in the commissary in Aisle 5. This was when they had direction arrows in the aisles folks. Each aisle was one way and you followed the pattern. Any way, mom stopped, put her purse off her arm in the buggy and wore my backside out! No negotiations, no begging and no warning. Needless to say, WE didn’t have that trouble again.
so funny lol using the chair as prop cart
I grabbed a bag of beans 😂😂😂😂😂
My sons knew exactly what the rules were before we went shopping too funny one of my sons is named Travis and he would NEVER have done that 😂😂😂😂😂
A swivel seat 😂😂😂😂
All I had to do is say “do I need to take you to the bathroom”. When I said hands on the cart or in your pockets it was done.
Growing up as a little white kid in the 80s, it was very much that way no matter the color of your skin. Nowadays, it ain't that way. Everyone has become so laxed in their discipline. I remember getting my butt beat in the store, out of the store, again when we got home and the manager scolded me in the store and stuck me and my nosy little self on the wall for all to see and paraded around behind me with my nose on the wall telling everyone what a bad little girl I was and I could just feel the angry looks of the customers checking out behind me. 😂 My momma gave me the same beat down story but I didn't believe her until I got the beat down. It is funny now 40 years later. But it wasn't back then.
WE DIFFERENT 😂😂😂😂
Hispanic mom of five here. My grown kids think I was too strict, but this was how I taught them. I made them wear clean and neat clothes out because that’s just what you do! We would also take necessary trips to the bathroom if they acted up while we were out. They all turned out pretty well!
“I’m having the time of my life!!!!” 🎉#mygriot
He’s one of the best if not the best story teller i know 😂😂😂😂
You are hilarious. You said they control everything but their children in the grocery store 😂😂😂😂
My hubby stopped our two year old when she reached for a candy from a bulk bin. He picked her up and firmly said no. Well her feet instantly started kicking and she kicked him square in the nuts right as a worker came by and offered my daughter a candy from the bulk bin to stop her from being upset. Long story short, we left once he could breath but we didn’t let her take the candy because bad behaviour cannot be rewarded. Hubby was in a very bad mood after that one.
Mine (Mama) didnt (play) LOL i felt that "You dont want anything!"
My mother carried the belt in her purse, just in case.😂
I love that we all had the same convo,
Kids today aren't having it cuz I see crazy shit in the stores now
Facts...I grew up the same way. 😂😂😂
Truth! Same speech!😅😅😅
This is hilarious......little Travis watching this like "yup, dat me"
Anxiously awaiting Domino Effect Part 3 my friend.
LMFAO... my mom gave us THE TALK before we went ANYWHERE and she also deployed "the pinch" and that pinch was the worst thing in the world. We'd have begged for a spanking rather than that pinch on the back of the arm or side of your leg. LMAO We were THE BEST KIDS anywhere. LOL
Truth! I was at my neighborhood grocery store once, standing in line at the checkout. A little blonde haired toddler had a full melt down tantrum a few feet away. He was all red-faced and crying, screaming "I don't WANNA go!" over and over while rolling around on the floor. The boy's mom just stood over him, speaking quietly to him as the screaming went on. The black lady in front of me in line shook her head and said, "That boy sure do need a whoopin".
My mama was a teacher of very young special ed children. Don't think they can't act out, too. If one had a tantrum, she calmly went to the sink, filled a glass of water and tossed it on him. The startled child stopped and looked up in surprise. My mother asked, "Feeling better now?" That kid and the whole class were cured.
Small Irish children don't muck about in the shops either. There was always a discussion about expectations before we disembarked from the vehicle.
I am so happy that I watched this video! Brought back so many great memories! I was the only girl in my family and the oldest had 3 brothers and I was the Boss! That’s what I was told by the Bosses the Parents! You’re in charge and the boys better not get in trouble while you’re in charge! They would be in the basket at the store hands tied and mouths full of soap bubbles for asking!!!!! Needless to say when we had our own children and I was the Auntie they never asked me to Babysit!
I will be in the front row of your Rochester, NY! Originally from Livingston, TX. Looking forward to the show, brother.
I saw him live 2 months ago...his worth every penny.
I think it’s changed over the generations. I’m one of those melatonin challenged folks. Born in 68, working class. We def did not misbehave in the store or in public. We’d get a smack and threats of further punishment. That’s how it was. Teacher could smack your hands. Principle could swat your ass with a thick wooden board.. didn’t require permission from a parent. Hell, the neighbor could even give you a whack if they thought you were doing something you shouldn’t.
Different days back then. Now I’m not advocating abuse at all, but it’s gone in the other direction to the extreme.. I see parents bargaining with there kids (yep, only white parents, lol). Elementary school age.. even preschoolers. That’s crazy
Facts.
I miss those days, too. As a teacher of 30 plus years, next one will be my last, I am not seeing the same things Mr Siddiq is seeing. This is funny, but he is going to have to update this joke to reflect the other races, except Asian, I am afraid.
One time my mom told my nephew he could play with the neighbor kids until she called him for his bath
I sat around nearby watching the kids and she called for him and her ignored her twice.
The third time she called him I snatched him up and carried him on my shoulders to the house kicking and screaming
After his bathing explained that if he just did what Gramma said right away he could pretty much get whatever he wanted all the time as long as he did what Gramma wanted right away.
Now I see him doing it with his kids and his mom.
Yep, sometimes it felt like we couldn’t get away with _anything,_ because someone was always watching. Maybe God was watching (we kids weren’t convinced), but Mrs. Davis _for sure_ was. Or Mrs. Reany. Or Mrs. King. Or all the above.
I’m amazed to see parents these days thinking they can have a discussion and reason with a TWO YEAR OLD! Or these men that call their sons “buddy.” My dad called me “son” or “boy.” He definitely wasn’t my buddy, he was my father and he made that clear.
He reminds me of D.L. Hughley talking bout his mean grandmama be sayin wrench around and wrench it off! 😂
broooo this busted me UP! haha!!! 😂😂😂 "i dress however i want, because...... WHITE CHILDREN"
this whole set was so good tho! had me kicking my feet right after "imma help this white lady out" i KNEW he was gonna make a fast pitch but the lead in had me going hard ahahaaaa! so satisfying in the delivery. POW! navy beans everywhere!
My mom didn't play either. She'd say before we got there, "If I have to leave the cart to take you outside..." Trust when I say, it only ever had to happen once to know.....😂
Masterful set dear Ali!!!! 🥰🔥❤ My Dad's **look** turned our lil' asses to STONE! 😱😂
I think Ali hasn't seen the viral video showing the young black girl giving her mom a hard time complaining and crying that she didn't want a Tesla for her birthday and preferred a fossil fuel car! 😅
naaah
@@AliSiddiqComedy Watch it then. It's a comedy gold 😆
My mother and aunt grocery shopped together. On summer days all 9 kids had to go with the 2 mothers, one car. Rules were, hand never ket go of the shopping cart side... unless you were one of the very oldest kids asked to retrieve an item off the shelf. Going around corners at a clip, twas a challenge for us younger kids to hang on as we were flung in the turn, trying to stay on our feet so we didnt get beat for letting go. Heck we never asked for anything, just hoping to get back to sitting double decker in the old land yacht car outside.
Black Canadian mamas have the same conversations with our kids!!😅😅😅
5:00 I've done that to my mom several times back in the day! LOL
Man you better know it, they know better!😁 You better NOT pick up ish when we get in this store. I used to tell mines if you don't have NO money, don't pick it up.😂😂
Facts!
My convo:
Where am I?
Where are you?
Oh.
❤😂😅luv his comedy 🤣
Honestly to see so much crime take place at the hands of Black teens is like culture shock to me, because I could never, not with my parents having those talks with us. I be more worried of catching hands by my dad or mom before the police! I don’t know if it’s a generational defect or what, but new age parents aren’t having those conversations with their kids anymore; they fear nothing!
I'm white, and my kids were told exactly the same thing. Don't ask for nothing, don't touch anything, and stay right by my side. Act a fool over or about something? You be looking for your teeth for a week. Never had problems with my kids. They knew momma don't play.
💯 u ain’t lying Am African from Ghana and yup same thing my momma had them conversation with myself and my older brother when we were growing up. Shiit we knew better frl frl .
This is HILARIOUS!
My lips was moving same as hers! 😂
I grew up in North Carolina and knew what this was. I live in New York now. What I've seen is, the strictest mamas are Jamaican mamas. And it is no fkn joke. Those kids were raised not even to look an adult straight in the face. Those ladies got a look so powerful they don't even have to say a word--all they gotta do is deploy that "look" and whatever the kids was doin' comes to a halt RIGHT. NOW. I can also still hear Black mamas in the South sayin' to their kids, "Stand up here and act like you got good sense!" The older I get, the more I admire it. Most of that stuff seems mostly dead now.
Dad to my dramatic little sister: If you don't stop crying, I'll take you outside and give you something to cry about! Dad was tall with long arms. If he'd had enough of our bickering in the car, he'd turn around and thump us on the head. Sure miss him. RIP POPS.
Hell yeah 😂😂😂😂
Oh so real that store conversation 🤣🤣🤣
lol my hand was not allowed to leave the side of the cart the entire time in the store
I am Hispanic. When I was a child, I was given the same exact talk. I made a mistake once by asking for something. In the middle of the store, my dad beat me. I never asked for anything ever again.
LOL! Filipinos are that way too! at least my mother was growing up!
LOL!
🔥
❤
💯 #facts But this is true all over the world. Try playing the fool with a Caribbean mother!😆
QUITE FRANKLY I've BEEN DONE AFTER seen Travis running around in a PUBLIC TRANSIT STATION!?!?
🗺️☝🏾🤴🏾📱🗺️
That conversation USED to be had! But not so much now. They ALL out of control now.
😂 Hilarious 😂
I love Ali .❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤