3 UPDATES: GF Blocked Me After Misunderstanding W/O Even Hearing Me Out… Now Seven Years Later...
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 24 ก.ย. 2024
- 3 UPDATES: GF Blocked Me After A Misunderstanding Without Even Hearing Me Out… Now Seven Years Later, She's At My Door With A Young Boy Claiming That It's My Son And Now She Wants Child Support But Then She Met my Wife & She Immediately Regretted Coming Back Because She Just Dug Her Own Grave….
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Hello, Reddit. This is going to be kind of long because there's a lot of context. So, first and foremost, I'll tell you guys a little about my ex-girlfriend. My ex, Cindy (30F now, 23 when we were together), and I were together for four years. We met in college and stayed together throughout. We even got an apartment together once we graduated and lived together for a year before she broke things off with me abruptly and without an explanation. Cindy was one year older than me and a senior in college so I was too shy to go talk to her and she's the one who had to initiate the relationship. She asked me out, she said "I love you" first after six months of being together and she is the one who suggested that we move in together after college. She was a wonderful girlfriend (for those who can't tell, this is sarcasm) in every way but one, she was just very insecure. I don't know what it was, maybe it was because I never really took initiative in the relationship or something similar. But she was just always very insecure and jealous and she'd hate it when I'd speak to other girls, no matter who they were. So after a couple of fights, I cut off all my friends who happened to be women because Cindy was more important to me than being friends with other women.
This dude has a type. It is a very specific type of crazy that only grows in one specific family. He should think about becoming a monk
Anxious Avoidant Attachment. His mother is probably his first abuser.
That said, 'get thee to a monastery' is probably good advice for him.
oooh you mean the legendary coocoo tree?
Dude is a crazy chick magnet.
Someone needs to report Cindy/Cynthia to the CPS. That kid deserves better.
He went from one crazy to another crazy from the same family 😂
I mean his wife isnt crazy, shes clearly just heavily traumatised, if she was crazy she wouldnt of seen her own error and then gone and gotten help. Also if cindy had that affect from cindy after 2 years of dating how well do you think she coped with 18 of them. Emotional, and likely physical, abuse especially in younger years create a whole host of concerning and problematic behaviours later on in life
@@_Hollie_ How is trauma any justification for making her husband a victim of DV? Silent treatment and verbal assault are all DV.
She isn't better than Cindy, just a different kind of nuts.
OP needs to run. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, yet the dude just grabbed a new apple from the same tree.
Cindy slept with Amy’s boyfriend and she was the toxic one in the relationship with OP. How if any of that Amy’s fault?
@@PhobicEra tell me, how many sane people yell at their partner and run away and then not just talk to them about something that OP had no idea about? Why didn't she tell him about her toxic family?
@@skynightshade7742 IKR!! That really did rub me the wrong way. But at least OP's wife realized what she did was really stupid & unfair to OP, and apologized. Also a plus that they are going to couples therapy to work on the wife's issues with her cousin.
Even the wife realized her mistake could have very well costed her marriage because she lost her cool, and didn't let OP explain himself. Luckily for her OP came to get her. If it were me like you said I would have ran in the other direction. But I guess that's why I'm not the marrying type of gal. Happily single & childfree by choice.
@@PhobicEra and yet it's justified to jump down her partner throat cause of who his ex is and run off? I would hope you tell your partner about your toxic family or they would end up inviting them to your surprise birthday party. Mental illness does run in families and you say you're not toxic. How do you know? How would you know? For all you know you're toxic but surround yourself with people that are equally toxic. I mean look at your name 🤣🤣 who names themselves that and say you aren't toxic
@@skynightshade7742 If you’re talking about Cindy, yes obviously. I was replying about Amy because that’s who OP was saying to get away from because the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Now, If you are agreeing with him then I stand my ground. What did you want her to tell him about her cousins family? Tell him that she was bullied years ago? Tell him that her cousin slept with her boyfriend as a teen? They’re in their 30’s now and she hasn’t spoken to that side of the family for years. Why would she bring them up? She probably forgot about her until she saw her that day. I have a couple of toxic cousin who I don’t talk to at all. Unless someone were to ask me directly about them, they don’t even cross my mind. Am I and all my family supposed to be blamed for their toxicity? If they’re toxic, am I toxic too because we are related? If that were the case, then everyone in this world is toxic because someone in their family is. There’s a reason why we don’t talk to those people.
Who sits there with a photo album of exs and shows it off to the current?? Seriously! Past exs are past exs and in the past. Ffs.
This OP needs to work out what attracts him to irrational, abusive women. And, yes, Amy is both of those things; not just Cindy. He should also look up the cycle of abuse.
Three letters. M-O-M.
They're cousins, so the dysfunction goes back one additional generation.
More like abusive women are attracted to weak, beta men.
This guy sure knows how to pick em.....he should have stayed single instead
He probably would be a good priest, as good as he is at keeping from talking & allowing others to vent until they run out of steam! 😮
This op, is a doormat. How the wife reacted and blamed him for everything is a solar system size 🚩. Even he put the blame on himself instead of making the wife accountable for her reaction when she saw cindy and blamed him. He didn't enforce consequences and this situation will happen again and the only one at fault will be him
I agree. He made the big mistake to try to negotiate with women. There is no point in negotiating with tetrorists, children or women at all, never.
100% dude talked for like 2 minutes about missing photos of his ex.
Dude didn't even defend himself SMH
Yeah the op should have taken the hint and bounced. The entire family seems super unstable and toxic
That lipstick saved OP'S life and sanity. If he'd married an had kids with her, he'd be in Hell for life.
Right?
And it seems that in all these years with her he never met her family?
Or he would have met Aamy before
He married a copy of her. He's not saved in anyway
@@merykhan97 I respectfully disagree. His wife DID eff up, but if you look at it from her side, it was clearly a trauma reaction and, in a sense understandable when she explain. And she DID apologize to OP and last I heard, they were doing fine.
Anytime you’re with a person that keeps you from hanging out with friends, suspicious about spouses phone, accuse them of cheating, and needs reassurance that whoever is at the house must text so they know who was at the house. Also 7 years and thinks OP is just waiting for her return, is crazy.
You missed: HYPOCRITICAL double standard where SHE gets to hang out with HER friends and you missed that he is not even allowed to talk to HER FAMILY unless she is with him. I posted above that I felt no sympathy for the guy because he was the idiot for staying with her as long as he did. Bottom line common sense 101: When you see several dozen bright red flags all lined up in a row you get the hell out...
Especially when he wasn't allowed to question her about when she spent time with her friends.
Leave that family alone. Your wife was wrong. Run, Run
Op is someone who just stares at people, life, things with mouth wide open from surprise, not knowing what to do. The only action he is taking is running to get back his abusers
This family is messed up but so is OP
I agree
The OP is lucky as HELL that this "misunderstanding" happened BEFORE they had gotten married (not sure that was ever going to happen between them). Imagine how much EVEN MORE OF A STRESS a DIVORCE would be over a "misunderstanding" like this?
Whew! You sure know how to pick 'em! I'd be seriously tempted to turn celibate after those two girlfriends.
This has got to be one of the most hapless guys I've ever heard about. Ex is obviously cheating at the end of the relationship and leaves under suspicious circumstances and he doesn't put 2 and 2 together. Then of all the people he gets involved with and marries, ex's bullied cousin. Even if the families don't speak, none of their past is ever discussed?? Then he's too dumbfounded to even say anything during the initial confrontation. If there was ever a man more in need of the self help industry, it's this OP.
What’s concerning is its not uncommon especially for abuse victims. Although it wasnt physical, he is definitely explaining clear signs of emotional abuse (i also wouldnt be surprised if cindy had physical abused the wife as well). Cindy i clearly an abusive individual and a lot of people do no walk away from abusers well.
@@_Hollie_ Touché
You must not understand how big some families are my fathers grandmother had 11 kids which led to her having 56 grandes which led to 72 great grands i’m part of the great grands. my mom‘s biological mother had 12 kids apparently all girls March I have met none of them nor have I been reduced to any of their kids mostly because of how spreed out throughout the country we are everybody doesn’t stay in one section, everybody doesn’t go to every family function
Do you go around talking about your exes to your current partner? Also, abuse victims really don't like talking about it
Let me play the world's smallest violin for Cindy.
Play another one for OP. Gee, he is such a simp.
He needs a spine alignment. I'd have blown up at the accusations about his sister's visit, and dumped her right there. Red flags were already on display. Even before, her jealousy would have been grounds for breaking up. Cindy was a control freak, and controlled him. I would never cede control of MY life. Cindy should just go to -ahem-.
For real, I was annoyed of OP not doing shit when Cindy was trashing the apartment and coming to his house. He really needs to grow a pair because that's what caused both situations to happen.
How did you get married to your ex's first cousin and meet no relatives you knew and vice-versa?
The family was estranged. Explains that in the story
The two families can't be that small that he didn't connect even one aunt, uncle, cousin or grandparent in, how many years? No overlapping friends? Never looked at one photo album? Cindy/Cynthia's last name never was mentioned? Her job, career or college? Or the usual "So, how did you meet that crazy ex/Cindy girl?"
My son's FIL gave me a ride to pick up my car from the mechanic & in casual convo, I found out that Years Ago before my son had met him or his daughter, that he had to tell my cousin, at work that my uncle had died! It was a different city in a job I didn't know he did, I've not seen him in years. The Coincidence Was Unbelievable, as much as these people Not Knowing about Their connection! 😮
i have over twenty-five first cousins and know maybe 4 of them. families are weird.
What a defunct family!
The family no longer exists????
Umm.... I think you may mean "dysfunctional".
Cyndi and Amy seem to have the same genes. And this guy kind of jumped from one branch to another, thinking it was a different tree. Am not sure where he is from, because his world seems to be very small. POOR GUY.
Wouldn't surprise me if his mom had introduced him to both women! He had to learn how to stand there & take it from somewhere! His moms probably a shrew & dads a cuc! 😢
This guy really needs to stop begging and pleading with women. Not exactly good for him, or a turn on
Wonder how things would have gone if OP hadn't visited his wife at her parents house. Professional victim, sobbing for the husband she lost forever instead of getting off her behind and going out to win him back. OP had to win her back while being completely innocent thoughout this whole mess. Souns like she needs therapy, not him.
she needs therapy.
he needs to be alone.
1st story. Both of the cousins are crazy. Jury is out on op.
First couple minutes and I’m surprised OP didn’t see the red flags.
Cindy and Amy are nuts. They are both extremely childish. You might want to distance yourself from both of them. They are both too immature to have an adult relationship because they are runners not communicators. Amy had no reason to treat you so shabbily. You need to stay away from both of these women. Edit. You have done nothing wrong. Your wife is a colossal AH.
OP needs therapy too! Every Time he gets assaulted, he just stands there and says nothing! I wonder how he was raised? He may as well go to a training gym to apply as an emotional punching bag! Heck the way he let Cindy throw & break things, he might be comfortable as a physical punching bag!😢
Sounds like OP dodged a bullet!!! Lucky him.
This such a non problem . Bloke needs to grow a pair
Hard to sympathise with a Simp !
He behaved like an abuse victim. And don't you just love to see victim-blaming? I mean it's a man as the victim so he doesn't deserve your empathy, right?
@@WilliamBrowning lol
nah, he dated cindy and gets a pass there but with that knowledge he is allowing hiumself back into a similar situation with past experience of it...he is a simp@@WilliamBrowning
@@WilliamBrowningOk SIMP
NTA. Unfortunately, the wife is from the same nut tree as his ex. He has no fault for his wife being unable to communicate like an adult. The in-laws can pound dirt. Blaming someone for information that they do not have is unreasonable.
That lipstick saved OP from a miserable life.
Easy solution, get rid of Amy as well, who needs that much drama in their life.
This dude needs to run.. Amy isn’t much different than Cindy, toxic as hell
NTA but I really feel for you OP. Glad you and Amy got into couples therapy and individual therapy! OP when you said you just stood there 'along with the other little boy' was admitting you know you have some growing up to do. But if you and Amy have been happy together for some years without this level of drama, sounds like you have a relationship worth working on! Good luck.
That Amy is a psycho too. Tf!! Why is she blaming her husband for the behavior of her childhood bully??
Especially knowing OP was bullied by the same person.
She clearly didn't spend all that time trying to track you down, because you had stayed in the same apartment for all least a year.
dude, move on. you cannot win. if you wait for your wife, you may be waiting in perpetuity. if you don’t wait for her, she’ll be pissed off that you could discard her so easy, and therefore never loved her. this is a nightmare.
Op should be happy to be blocked,
And op is doormat 😂
This dude is the definition of a coward
BOTH women are nuts.
Amy flipped just like Cindy did,
with equally erroneous assumptions.
He should have sent Amy divorce papers and left that clown show.
OP should stay away from women in Cindy's/Amy's family...it doesn't seem to take very much to set these women off!!
Cindy's parents aren't wrong, if they can't afford to take care of Cindy they can't.
The first gf actions were so obvious the behavior of a cheater.
If feel bad for OP, OP's wife, and that poor child. Toxic cancerous people destroy lives and mental stability.
Cinfy most likely eother:
1. Was cheated on ( and needs professional help) Or
2 Is a cheater. (Cheaters always seem to be the first people worried about being cheated on)
After story --- ahh, what do you know. A cheater
I swear while him and his wife are in counseling if he doesn't bring up how she traumatized him the same way her cousin did he really will be a doormat. Like seriously she did exactly what he told her his ex did before she found out it was her cousin. I don't care how irrational she was that was very abusive. And then even at the end still did not reach out to him herself she waited until he came because she was too ashamed to apologize like an adult to save her marriage. Sorry but his wife's family is all kinds of messed up
I mean tbf on her she was losing it a little. But theyre in couples and individual therapy so im sure itll come up
@@_Hollie_ yeah I know I just can't deal with the stupidity of getting angry at somebody without at least pointing out what their angry about. I know she was emotionally charged but a little bit of extra information could have handled that days sooner. You add that to the fact that it took him awhile to even get her to answer his call. I get the initial first five hours but after that you could just send a text and say why didn't you tell me you dated my cousin. And that's on top of the fact that she never told him about her abuse from her cousin. So even if she mentioned it right at that moment he still wouldn't understand why that was a problem
@@jestersreign7530 yeah i feel like her family should of put her in therapy years ago tbh. I know its relatively new that ite become as common as it is, but if shes like this now imagine how bad she was a decade a go. That really shouldve been addressed many time over
This guy definitely has a type.
OP is a fool, but luckily that abusive girlfriend solved his problem for him. She left. This story sounded like a real-life one. If not, the writer did very well making it believable.
OP, it's not his fault that this happened. His wife should have apologised for what happened because she didn't let him explain nor listen to what he said, and her parents did the same. She, made him comfort her because she was upset that she had hurt him?
The way OP doesn't understand where the emotional blame lays, and cannot function when under pressure points to a strong indication of high functioning autism or ADHD, his wife exhibits autistic traits, it could be ADHD (Autism and ADHD are more masked in woman but being bullied and suffering a meltdown when not able to mask are major markers.) Neuro divergent people generally attract other neuro divergent people because they can relate, and yes it does run in the family.
I think that counselling and marriage counselling are good steps, I would like to know if they get assessed for being neuro divergent
Or he could just be naive.
Did she ask directly the full name or deeper info on her? That look on his face should have been a sign he had no clue what was going on
When they run home to moma, leave them there. From here on out, every time there is a problem, she will pull this. I would have been on the phone with an attorney the moment she blocked me on everything.
Op needs to leave his wife she is the problem as well
How weak and spineless can a person be.
extremely weak and a jellyfish plus being a simp.
Yeah OP just stood there like a statue and told us all the excuses for being so. Blah blah.
Amy cannot get mad at OP for his past/whom he dated in the past.
people need to grow up and be emotionally mature
And, as far as your current wife is concerned whatever happened in your life before you met her is none of her business unless you want to tell her....PEOPLE WHEN WILL YOU LEARN THAT WHATEVER HAPPENS IN YOUR LIFE BEFORE YOU MET YOUR CURRENT PARTNER IS NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS...SAME GOES FOR EVERYONE...
It baffles me to hear him say that he should have shown her a Picture of his ex. Like really?? I never saw my husband's ex face until I met her in person at my stepson's graduation
Like he knew!? She cant be pissed at him. Did she tell him?
First thing out of my mouth, DNA test now.
And clearly the kid would've been SIX, not seven, of you add in gestation time. And Cindy's immediate family are just as rotten. And you know the baby daddy ran for his life - but he should've taken the kid with him, instead of leaving him with that Creature.
@@ravenfox926 Yeah, had an ex try that you're the daddy crap on me once and the kid was way to old to have been mine. I just looked at her and asked if she even tried to find one the right age or even close. 10 I might have believe, but he was 15 LOL We had been broken up for 10 years at that point.
Not only would I demand a DNA test but I would tell her that if he is the father he'd sue for custody of the child since she seems to be an unfit parent. The fact that he did not take charge of this situation shows he's a total wimp
@@0INFERNO1 Ueah, I'd think you'd notice a five year old when leaving.
@@ravenfox926Yeah, I know i am a bit scatter brained sometimes, but That I would have noticed.
Sister is the MVP for getting OP's needed breakup going
OP seems attracted to women who will ghost him at the drop of a hat
The OP should change his name to Confuse.. it's all he ever does.. look and feel confused in all the interactions..
Op just standing there all dizzy looking shocked and thinking ' what have I got myself into ' 😂
The whole family's logic of he should have told Amy about cindy, when Amy showed no interest and didn't want to know anything is bull. He needs to file for divorce and just get the hell out of that entire town if he can, because if he's going to be blamed for not telling someone something that they did not want to know about, there will be other problems
As obsessed about cheating she has for him,for sure she is cheating. More so since she can do what she wanted, yet he couldnt suspect her.
1. After that episode, OP should have run. The woman is a psycho.
Screw Amy and Cindy. They are both crazy it runs in the family. He was innocent in both instances.
The fact Amy treated OP like he knew her entire past with Cindy shows how crazy she is too. And then the fact that she still isn’t taking the random 1 off appearances well as OP said in The final update further proves it. This family seems deranged on all sides. It’s incredibly frustrating to hear how OP just jumps from toxic crazy to toxic crazy and lets them walk all over him while he sits silently watching.
When Op found out they were from the same family he should just ran. They both are acting the same(crazy)
This guy is a chaos girl attractor.
I’m wondering if OP has some kind of social disorder. From the description of how he became involved with Cindy to his confrontation with Amy after Cindy reappears in his life, he seems to struggle-hard-with relationship difficulties.
People like Lauren are abusive and shouldn’t be in a relationship at all
How the guy reacted to the dumping.
And even worse how "he" reacted when BOTH women trashed and browbeat "him" shows how meek the OP is.
MEN, did you also catch that?
Literally this feels like entertainment movie with popcorn time😂
Hopefully the counsellor that Amy gets will help her realise her reaction was similar to Cindy's. She definitely has unresolved anger at how Cindy treated her and has unfairly blamed the OP for it.
And I echo the rest here that OP needs to realise they're in the same boat. Neither he nor his wife Amy mentioned Cindy before so it's shared blame at best not all his fault.
Explain to her this is exactly what Cindy did.
Why would he have to talk about his past friendships? My wife of 48cyears has never been interested in who I had been out with before her. Grow woman for God's sake.
The protagonist is really dense and obtuse. Sheesh!! does he even know how to communicate with anyone? Especially his wife? It seems not.
This guy is the biggest wimp in the world
I’m glad op & Amy are going to therapy. Clearly Amy never dealt with a very traumatizing event in her life, hence the ballistic over reaction towards op. She even recognized her reaction towards op was unfair & wrong. That’s a lot of pain & resentment held inside, she should have opened up to op about the basics at least regarding her cousin as op did open up to her about his own trauma with his ex. Hopefully they will heal & recover together making them both stronger as individuals & as a couple. Good luck.
Bet she was cheating on him.. hence the hard control on him
Amy is just as bad as Cindy and OP needs to GTFO of dodge.
Yeah. She didnt really break up. So she has no claim on him.
DNA test to check the paternity of the Amy's son? I am guessing that it isn't OP's.
Well those two women are definitely related. Op needs to run. The next woman he gets involved with he will need a complete background check.😮
Calling OP a doormat is way too kind. No backbone and freezes at any issues before him. He is like an unlikable weak character in a film that you want to slap because he such a wuss.
Either, the girl who left the lipstick did so at the behest of the gf or she pulled it out of her own pocket when she sar down. It was set up to give op an excuse to leave with an AP.
OP is going to have trouble with women his whole life if he doesn't become a man. Women walk all over weaklings and lose respect for them pretty quick.
Ye gods, this guy was THE Super Simp...
Ultrasimp
1st story: everything that this dude's ex-girlfriend was doing was in the cheating guide.
How did he not know? This is where being stupid clouds your mind. And I don't feel sorry for people who are stupid and know they are stupid and still don't want to take responsibility for being stupid.
This guy might not be smart enough to date. Best he stay alone & confused
Doubt he can manage trying his shoes without some crazy woman helping him.
This guy likes the cluster of bees.
Its hard to tell if you would have bugged her constantly she might not have had time to see her error. But giving you some time to cool down.
How did she find him. And i would have said no. I stayed in the same spot for a year. You never came back. So i call BS!!
Run dude run 😮😮😮😮😮
OP is to the extent a doormat be it Cindy or Any....
AND WHY didnt amy tell him about cindy before?
op really need to look into whether his wife is a nice as he thinks/hopes. sounds like he married just another crazy from the same family
I feel kinda bad for this guy, he's surrounded by nutbags!! If the wife is ready to throw the whole relationship away cos of a misunderstanding- and HE had to chase after her?? Why didn't SHE explain shite properly then??! And the extended family should have been "warning" him too, about the ex Cindy- is ANY of this worth it?? Your home, your partner, is supposed to be your peace- this guy is getting the complete opposite!! What a family...gigglesnort, never a dull moment
Thank God she's gone.
some times the supposed insecurities are nothing more than projection like for example the sharing location all the time i remember that sometimes it happened becouse a certain girl wanted to know if she has the opertunity to cheat or not
The most useless and spineless op ever. Gf almost hit him, screamed at him. But he says he was miserable about her, he called her n all tht crap. Then while ex is screamin he standin der like a statue. Conveniently looses phone, sister conveniently leaves lipstick he doesnt see. Tell me u r absolutely pathetic, without tellin me u r pathetic. Cindy ofcourse is huge pyscho ah.
Entire family incl. Amy are nuts.
doormat???
It sounds like op was the only adult in this story and op wife and his ex girlfriend both acting like toddlers