I’m afraid to age as Gay - lonely and sad
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 9 มี.ค. 2021
- Aging as Gay - Loneliness and Fear
This is very important topic for me. As i recently came out i started to think about all of the gay aspects of my life. I feel like I really wanted to get off my chest my thoughts about it. I hope maybe someone this video will help. My 55 years old friend is a good example of how to deal with loneliness if you don't have a partner and you are a little older. Anyways no matter how old you are you can feel like you are 25 and age is only a number that gives more wisdom and experience. Please share your thoughts with me... I know I'm too far from this. But like i said in the video i am 24 but i feel like i am 9O (: also when you are an immigrant i fell like one years is for 5. Aging as Gay - Loneliness and Fear
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I am 77 years old in good health and totally independent. I don't feel like I'm in my 70's at all. I live alone as I lost my husband of 40 years to covid-19 in January. I have a few close friends and we walk and exercise regularly as I have done for many years. Living a healthy lifestyle and having friends is crucial to longevity and happiness. I miss my husband terribly, but I will continue to live life to the fullest. You are a young man with a wonderful insight to life. You have your whole life ahead of you. Enjoy every minute.
❤️❤️😭
Wow. Beautiful words. So much love. So much life experiences you went through. Amazing. And I can’t imagine to lost loved one. It’s so sad and/but WE ALL WILL HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS life and dead. Yes, live life! Don’t look at that someone else opinion about you! It’s your life. Just live! Love you Ray👍!
@@YuriyRogozhin You are very kind.
Awee im so sorry :(
Hello Horace, my sincerest condolence for your loss. I am 5 years widowed from my partner of 27 years. Possitivity is a choice at the end of the day, it takes work.
Thank you Horace and to you Art for your consideration.
Art, I am 55 and I loved this video. You're a sweet guy, I think. Just remember that everything is temporary--your youth, your looks, health--everything. Just keep that in mind as you go through life: This, too, shall pass. Be kind and caring.
Thank you. Michael! Means a lot to me.... I understand it... That's why i am thinking about it.
Art, I am a 73 year old man that has been single all my life. I am still active and healthy, go to the gym and do some volunteer work occasionally. I have two nephews (58 and 38) that I rely on for my legal issues. I am very comfortable being on my own. I agree that elder housing is a very important issue for the LGBT community. Aging is nothing to fear but to enjoy since so many people never get to enjoy the later years. You will be just fine. Take care. Peace.
Thank you Lucas for sharing! I am glad you learned how to be by yourself. It shows you strength!
Glad you're staying strong sir!
Aging is basically the same for us all. I am 73 and in a 36 yr relationship. The reality is that as we age we have fewer family and friends regardless of our sexual orientation. Parents, siblings and friends begin to pass away. Children can not always be depended upon. Some have good relationships with their children, grandchildren and some do not. The gay seniors I know all worry some about getting the support they need as our physical and mental state declines. Will we find any trustworthy assistance? These concerns come to the fore especially after 70. You are young and in a very different technical and scientific age than what I grew up in. New tech and science discoveries will change your future in unimaginable ways. Being aware of aging is ok as long as you don't obsess over it. Enjoy your life, your friends and things will work out.
I am a 64 year old who was just 23 when I met the man I have been with for 40 years. I never thought it would be possible but it happened, We have been through a lot and are very proud. Life can surprise you! I wish you love above all else. Allow yourself to dream!
I'm 63 years old, and it's always nice to see someone in your generation addressing this head on. Thank you for acknowledging our contributions to your lives today. Keep up the great work!
Thank you Ken! I really appreciate it!
🤣🤣🤣 do you really think he cares. It’s all about getting subscribers
As a gay man who is in his upper-60's, my advice is to prepare for the future, but don't fear it. Enjoy the moment, aware that if you prepare properly you will be able to enjoy the future, too. No need to worry about or fear the future. It's like the old saying goes - "You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough". When you do get older, you want to be able to look back on a fun, fulfilled life, and not on one that was full of fear and worry. Cheers!!
Im 50, gay and actually living in constant fear and anxiety.
@@ericgumafelix612 mr erik..i pray for you and want to be your friend. .
@@ericgumafelix612 💪
Respect
Thank you Art, lead the charge for us. I am an older gay man who is OUT 46 years this year, but, I have also been a widow for 26 years, Being alone is hard, being alone is very hard. The majority of young gays consider us trolls, and even get mad if we should so much as look their way. I just wish this issue could be addressed on the larger stage.
I find I'm invisible to young people. There is no eye contact. I'm a ghost. And I'm sure it was the same for me when I was young. Too bed - - but there it is.
Try being Asian. I have been invisible my whole life. I am 58 now and much less miserable.
I am gay, 62 been single since 2006 with a few attempts at dating, for me, loneliness is an illusion, I never experienced a sense of loneliness, I enjoy myself, my own company, work full time, enjoy my spirituality, quiet times, I have no family and few friends; as long as I'm healthy I'm ok, but if I develop any serious medical issues I would rather just pass away then be at the mercy of some unknown care taker........
I agree 100%. I an 58 and single since 2006. Not even hookups or dating.
I hope a lot of younger people watch this video, Art. They could learn a lot from you.
Thank you Robert so much! I appreciate it!
Aging single male, gay or straight, usually do not fare that well and often die prematurely. It's all up to the individual of course, as some will do quite well. Being alone when you age is an issue if you have no friends or family to help and assist. It is more pronounced I think for aged single gay males. It is an issue. I have no answer. Gays in Retirement Homes are not that happy either as they're surrounded by similar aged but straight house mates. Perhaps an answer to that age of life is to have gay retirement homes, but I hope they'd be sustainable. Otherwise, gay group within the community is for younger gay males to make a point of visiting and assisting the aged gay male. They could use the help, would appreciate the help, and need the help, and although the gay world is mostly for the 20 somethings and 30 somethings, it would be encouraging to see them step up to help those senior gays who could use a helping hand. Just a thought . . . .
I like the idea of gay retirement home. I'd gladly give my time to the elderly and lonely. It's ironic because I'm also used to being alone who knows maybe it could help me too. Unfortunately my country is very homophobic and hetero centric. 😐
Its great to hear a young gay guy with a mature, kind outlook on life. I'm 45 and single. I love my independence but havent given up hope of finding my partner. But I will only settle with the best. I do occasionally worry about being alone in 20 years. Many gay guys are flighty or have no self control. I've met many in the past like this. But I know there is someone out there waiting for me. Until then I will enjoy my independence!
getting older is scary and it's getting harder to find a partner. As your friend, I learnt to have my own life alone. You actually feel better when you stop searching for Prince Charming. I was depressed when I absolutely wanted to find THE ideal partner. Travelling, learning languages can be done alone and is an opportunity to meet new people. Life is becoming sweeter because you have new challenges and well if Prince Charming is coming too that will be a bonus. If not, life must go on. Keep up the good work!
Philippe I agree. The older we are the more complicated it gets... Thank u
You're inspiring.I'm sure I'm much older than you, passing through my 90th year. I, too, study languages; currently Italian, French, Spanish. Two years ago I was super luckily and met my boyfriend. April is our 2d anniversary. Se both consider ourselves unbelievably lucky. Army age! To have someone to love and to be loved.
I feel the same as you do
I am 50 and all alone. It concerns me. I have so much love to give. It hurts.
Hey Jimmy...I feel you...but remember even though we are alone doesn't mean we are lonely..I'm taking it as a time to explore my past passions, like dancing and computer building ....think about what you enjoyed in your youth and apply it to your life now. We have to begin to love our past to be happy in our future...hope this helps a little my friend.... by the way I'm 64
Hey Jimmy, you are not alone, Max loves and depends on you. He's adorable.
Mr. Jimmy, okay here goes, yesterday looking at your videos of Max and Bo playing in the snow, I scrolled down to your interest of knives, and was supposed to watch it, when came to my minds eye a man 41 to 45 , I would say working on saws, sanding, staining, like making furnitue, nice keepsake furniture. He had some facial hair, ball cap hat on with tool maker emblem, safety glasses on, strong eyes with a glare, wood chips-sawdust always wiping away, and "Thatch" or "Patch" kinda a nickname maybe. The place was small, like maybe his shop, to pass the hours away, maybe 18 to 22 miles from you rurally. I don't know why I saw that . . .
If you meet such a guy, go s l o w. If he makes first moves, you're good, for he's a tough compass to read.
It's not a sad topic, its a real topic. Many people in relationships are lonely themselves. Truly loving yourself and being content is something that we all strive for. Great topic thanks for bringing it up
Thank you for making this video. It is nice to know that a young person is think about this. I am very much in the situation you describe. I am an older gay man, an only child, with no children, nephew, nieces, etc. Very little family around. I have spent a lot of time feeling very bad about the prospect of getting old and worrying about who will look after me. I have some good friends who I know will help out but it is not the same as family. Fortunately, I am reasonably well-off so I am not worrying about that aspect, but still it is not a pleasant thought.
Yes, Art, you're correct about living as an older person in the gay community - being lonely and being alone are two different things...finding a partner, especially after you've lost one you've lived with for a long time, for my generation, at this point, is almost impossible...consider - over half of our generation was wiped out by HIV. Since the 80's and early 90's, before viral inhibitors came down the pike, any number of other things took the lives of what was left of that group. And more and more, every day, we are dying. So, who's left? Where would you meet someone who'd be compatible? Maybe someplace like Ft. Lauderdale or Palm Springs? But the average retired gay single person is not wealthy enough to travel to those places easily, so you're very, very limited in your exposure and not likely to meet someone.
Thank you Art, this topic shows us how big of a heart you have. Not many gay men your age even considers or cares about the cons of the older gay male population. Thank you ❤
Thank you so much Kevin for such a nice comment!!! I appreciate it so much!
Yes. U r a visionary for self-reliance & sensitive to the plight of older singles. Important when there's too much conformity pressure in queerdom even in more forgiving socially climates.
Art, I just turned 72, not in any romantic relationship at this time but I have a slightly disabled nephew living with me. I love the points you made. I would be so happy to have a relationship with someone who has your qualities of being wise beyond your years. And besides that, being so handsome! Love ya guy and keep it going!
Thank you so much. Sending good vibes for you and nephew!
it is awesome to know that there is someone your age be so aware and concerned about the older gay community and how you can see that it is beneficial for you to prepare for your own aging. I enjoy all of your videos.
Roy thank you so much I really appreciate it!
Ok, Art. You are very endearing young gay man. I understand that you have concerns about getting older as a gay. You are pretty mature as a 24 year old. If you want my advice from a 57 year, enjoy your present life. You are 24 once. You will life experiences in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, etc. Live, Love and Enjoy your life experiences and learn from them. Be yourself, love ❤️ yourself and be kind towards others! Thank you for caring for our gay community! Hugs 🤗 & Love ❤️ for you - Art!
Art, very interesting topic. Not something that gets talked about, but you handled it well, as always.
Thank you Lewis so much! I appreciate it!
While there are a lot of older gays who are single, there are a lot of older gays who are partnered or married. I myself am pushing 75 (will be in June) and my husband is 77. We have been together since we were in our mid-20s in a monogamous relationship (yes, we've had our 50th anniversary). It's still going strong. We have friends of all ages & we have adopted (not legally) about 8 kids (both male & female, gay & straight) who all had unaccepting fathers. These kids are now in their 30's and 40's and still keep up with us. Most of them are now married. So don't assume you'll be single or married. Stay open to love.
Thank you for filing this video. It's a very interesting topic. I'm 57 this year and my husband will be 62. We've been together 25 years. I think about aging almost every night as I lay in bed. We lost his dad about 2 months ago and I always ask him "Who's going to take care of us when we are too old to take care of ourselves?". We have discuss nieces and nephews and which one we think will be the ones who would care enough to check on us. We also talk about the different stages of aging, like where will we leave once we retire (somewhere warm) and we do know that we want a one level house/condo. No Stairs! We have friends, but we've lost touch with many friends, so I just say we don't have any close friends. I am hoping that as the gay population ages, more gay assisted living communities open up. Until then, I'll probably continue to think about aging, and plan like hell for the future!
Just turned 75 and I couldn't be happier. Didn't even come out until I was 72. I've never had a partner, but I am still a very proud gay man. I live alone and I treasure every single day. Do I hope to find a partner? Of course, but I am not lonely. I have two sons who love and understand me and more family that have been so supportive. I expect to remain happy for the rest of my life, no matter how long that may be.
Very well done, Art! You are very special and thanks for covering this topic. Very important for gays of all ages to form close friendships to help one another out...
i m like u
Thank you for being you! I am always glad when I hear your perspectives on topics, & this is no different. I am 50. I see life the way you have put it. When you were talking about your older friend, I felt like it could be me. I am working on personal relationships, family & friends, to ensure a safe future for me. It’s no guarantee. I know no life has a guarantee. But, a Gay life has less from the moment one knows it. Yes, we push hard at the start. But, it changes. As to American culture, your observations are as usual spot on. I’m a very “old world” kind of American when compared to my acquaintances. I have things that belong to my great grandparents & they were born in the part of the world you are from, though they are Germans. You may know this history. Anyways, I live a blink away from the past. My mother’s grandmother was born in the old world. I feel its values in my life often.
Thank you Trevor I really appreciate it!!
I'll b 83 this summer and my lifestyle doesn't include any contact whatsoever with anyone in your generation. There is simply no interest in organized circles for anyone who went through the traumatic years in the 1950s when being gay was thought to be immoral, illegal, and insane.
I made into into my latter decades of life and learned sometimes bitter lessons about survival and regret that people two generations my junior have no grasp of what will lie in store for them half a century from now. The trappings of emerging acceptance of diversity are of great value now but I can assure you that aging in the seventh, eighth, and ninth decades of life is no small matter. I sometimes tell my friends that I'm living the life of "Nurse Jane" because medical and emotional maintenance is "job one" for me. But I remain young at heart and greatly admire your perspicacity. Would that there were more ordinary vehicles for intergenerational colloquies. Good work!
Eloquent
I am one of the lucky ones who found a wonderful guy 25 years ago. We got married 6 years ago (because we could) to protect and share our retirement benefits. We have so much fun together even after all these years. He does so much for me that I feel, not an obligation, but so loved that it inspires me to do as much as I can to return that love. It’s like compound interest in love. It keeps exponentially growing. When you realize that you can’t do enough someone to repay them for what they do you, yet you still try, that’s when you know you’ve found the right person.
BTW, Another very thoughtful video, Art! You are a special guy and I predict you will meet your match someday. No rush...
Thank you so much!
Oh, YES!! I found my man two years ago this April and its so wonderful to love someone and be loved by someone. We both consider ourselves lucky.
I'm certainly not considering myself unlucky. Not for a confirmed guy bachelor.
When you are young you think there is no rush to find a partner. Then before you know it the years have flown by and people see you as old, even though you feel the same inside. The mirror is not so kind and people look straight passed you. Always hope though and not so bad living alone.
I agree completely Andrew! Years passing by like crazy..
Arr, I am 53 years young. I have not dated anyone in 20 years by my choice. Really love being by myself when not working - it is so peaceful and I am not lonely by no means. I am very active in many ways. Have some friends here in Austin and a few out in Florida. I do not see that changing any time soon as I refuse to be jaded. Medicare is health care insurance for those on pension and it provides home health care, etc if someone needs it. The only challenges I see are regarding health care facilities such as assisted living facilities and nursing facilities. They tend to lack diversity. I am a proud member of AARP and their poster child (literally). Great topic Art. As I say, look on the bright side. Also, geriatric depression is a huge problem in the aging community and no one talks about it. Take care.
Thank you so much for sharing! I will look up geriatric depression!
I was happy being a single 20-year-old. I am happy being a single 50-year-old. Friends are an extension of your family, or sometimes your entire family. It's important for everyone to have a great support system. I'm lucky to have one, so I have never felt alone.
Older people are FASCINATING. I have always been eager to have friends older than me. Unfortunately, older people are discarded in US society. Shame, because they are such assets.
Another great video, Art, very thought provoking on a key issue. For me, a very older gay man, you made me think about how I will be coping in the near future. Two things you said made particular sense. First, be comfortable with yourself and be able to be content with your own company when necessary., Secondly, have access to reasonable funds. I don't mean be rich, but just plan and build a reasonable pension that will allow you a basic level of comfort. So many young people ignore this and I understand why but, especially in countries like the US where there is only limited state support, it really is the most important thing you can do by way of forward planning. Three, be part of a supportive gay community. This might include some activity that is about doing voluntary work of some sort. Art, you are gold and I hope you continue to shine for many decades yet
Thank you Derek i really really appreciate it!
thanks for posting this. I am 58 and have been single all my life and my friends have all paired off and lost interest in my company. It can be incredibly lonely at times to realize that nobody cares about me. I like my own company, but perhaps thats just out of necessity. I travel alone, go to restaurants alone and do pretty much everything alone. I am not looking forward to the future and it's really very frightening.
Greetings Rob, I know exactly how you feel. I turned 69 Sept 2023. 2024 makes 30 years that I have been alone. I have no gay male friends in my life. The Age of AIDS took care of that. With the way gay society is I have pretty much given up finding a partner. I was never one for bed-hopping. My friends when they were alive used to tease me and call me a nun. Now they are all gone. It is indeed frightening. I wish I could give you some vestige of hope, but I have none.😢
Not so much lonely but lost. Just been dumped by partner of 33 years, he is 20 years younger and I'm 71. I feel gutted , more for him than for me. I'd lived a life before he was born but all he's ever known was life with me and everything was done and bought with his ultimate future after me in mind. Yes, it does hurt that he's cashed in early and he can re-start life at 52 but for me?? I do feel a little bitter and sad that he's been dumped by the rather debauched lifestyle he left me for which he got into the habit of whilst I was away nursing an elderly relative. Old and lonely? still active?? Enjoy younger company?? Perhaps it's time to make young friends, no inuendos, no attempts to "pull", just good young friends who can trust you and not see you as a threat. Make sure you have a big tea-pot and a tin full of chocolate biscuites, you never know.
U must b in Mother England or one of Her Commonwealths. I wish you the best of luck 🤞, M8! (Seppo Loyalist here 😊)
@@kentuckianaboy High! Just trying to find out what a "seppo loyalist" is. Got to grips with M8! after thinking about it. English actually, to my mind Britain or even the "Great" version, is not a country it's a hotch-potch of four countries. Anyhow, been in France for 33 years and am just packing to move fom a 12th centuary chateau built by the knight templars, to a tiny hexagonal cottage in the west of England and only 300 yards from the sea and seven miles of sand dunes. Have an '59 Harley and a clear memory of all the spectacular things I got through in life but where I put that effing screw-driver that was in my hand a moment ago??? I can't remember! Keep happy,, P
Art, even though you are young you should always look to your future! I'm older now and when I was younger I was always afraid of growing older as a gay man. I'm still afraid of getting older. Most gay men today stay in a "relationship" because they don't want to be alone! As you stated, the most scariest thing of getting older is that you'll leave this world alone with no one by your side when your time comes!
Hi Johnny i appreciate you here thank you so much!
@@artiomboylive , I love watching your videos and listening to you also. I also watch your Tiktok videos. Keep up the work.
Thank you for recognizing us older generation. When I was younger I was able to get along with the older generation so much easier than people my age. Now it is my turn being the older one, trying to not be judgemental of the younger generation, be there for mistakes, be a friend if allowed, for they will find their way, hopefully intact. Society has changed, which is helpful to all of us. Friends are who we are, they are family. A older guy told me when I was your age, "If you want friends, be one". Words so true. Stay sweet, Art.
Thank you so much Billy! I appreciate it a lot! If you want friends, be one...
There is no size fits all answer to this complex issue. We are individuals and respond differently to handling being alone. Thank you for caring about this, it's heartening - and unusual - to find from such a young person. Michael - South Africa.
Thank u for your time and sharing I appreciate it. Thank you Michael!
Art, you have impressed me greatly by taking on this topic! Most people your age do not think about this at all. Just being aware of the issue is a major step. I am 60 and single, but blessed with wonderful friends..including some your age. Organization and planning is a key part of solving the issue. Preparing early will help avoid issues later on. You are a very caring soul and I am sure you will find happiness in the right person. Cheers!
Thank you Jeffrey I appreciate your comment. Thank you for sharing as well!
I am impressed that as a young man you have thought through issue such as this and that you brought them up for discussion. I have thought about this more as I have gotten older. I am now 51 and I am not sure what the future holds for me. I do not have a significant other, I do not have any close friends that live near me, my only sibling who is older than I am lives on the other side of the country with her husband and they have no kids. I have cousins but, they all have their own lives. I am single and looking but, it is very difficult to find someone to build a lasting relationship or even friendship with. I do like what you said about dating yourself and I am rarely lonely but, I am concerned about who will care for me when I am not able to care for myself. Great topic, keep up the good job.
about time someone brought this up! this is my biggest fear too.
Beautiful subject I congratulate you for doing a vlog about it. Being watching your videos for a while. You make me proud there are young people like you in the LGTB community. You are an old soul in a young body. One big kiss to you and a hug.
Thank you so much Eduardo! Thank you!!!!
I think every gay man should be assigned a lesbian best friend when they come out. My friend and I have the best non marriage ever. Lol
You are very sweet and wise, and I appreciate this topic. It is good to learn from others, both older and younger. I have been partnered and I've been single, and each way is good. Although I am older now I don't worry too much about physical problems (because I feel young), but I do worry about eventual mental decline. Who will sign contracts or understand insurance policies and paperwork, or keep someone from stealing money I might need to pay for a nursing home? I have no family or friends to assist me like that. I hope I will be mentally sharp up until the end. Maybe there will be good eldercare solutions emerge in the next decade. I live very simply so my estate will take just a day to wrap up. I have planned for the things I can control, I guess the rest will just be what will be.
Art you are such a great person and another super video I am older gay and truthfully I am sad most of the time but watching you on TH-cam and Tic Talk puts a smile on my face thanks again beautiful
Ira i constantly see your comments. I appreciate you so much! Please don't be sad. I am sending you good positive vibes! You are not alone. At least i am not going to be alone on my channel. You can find some support here! I really really appreciate you! Smile! Someone is watching.
Love Art.
Thank you for looking into the future., and for being honest. You have an older friend and you don’t judge him for his age. Life as an older gay man is different, but it’s important to stay connected with others. Keep up the good work.. keep making videos that help us explore topics that make us think. 👍
Thank you David... we need more honesty on TH-cam... i will!
Hi Art. I am 64 yrs. old and I do have a partner. He is 36 yrs. old. He is a staff sargent deployed in Syria. He is due to come home soon. It is also fine to think about the future. My boyfriend and I are very happy. And I am out by the way.
Thank you Ken for sharing!I am very happy for you guys! I am glad you have someone!
At the grand old age of 61...and still single..i've settled into a comfortable existance and have no problems with the way things are...but!...the one thing i do not have is...a friend!..and by that i mean a guy who i can share things with on a platonic level as opposed to having a full blown relationship...i'm not lonely but...talking & getting to know someone who is decent & honest would surely make a difference...companionship is at the core of it really and that counts for so much...especially nowadays with the way the world is...
Thank you Robert for sharing I agree.
Hope you find someone. I was 89 when I found the love of my life. We've been together two years come April and each considers himself blessed. It's wonderful to love and be loved. And, in spite of my age, sex is still fun!!
I really do hope someday i will be able to enjoy life the same way your friend does. My romantic life is a real mess, and since i've fallen for a straight friend and things went very badly, i feel hopeless as ever about relationships and even about my friendships... adding to the fact that i've just graduated and i'm not entirely sure of what to do with my life, i feel very insecure about my future as a whole. I feel like i'm not strong enough to live alone for so long, i deal with depression about this subject since i was 18 y/o ( now 26 ), and no matter how much i try to do those things, no matter how much i try to create those objectives for my life, new hobbies, new ways of spending my time, in the end of the day, i feel completely empty in bed everyday before going to sleep. It is very hard for any LGBT because we tend to feel like we are not part of the "normal" society for some time in our lives, so while growing up we tend to feel as completely aliens, separate from our ""own kind"", we consume a culture that most of the times is unable to be relatable to us. That itself can nuture a loneliness feeling. And even now, grown up, i look at the gay culture and i don't feel like part of it either
I hope you can be as lucky as I. Two years ago, by chance on a gay dating app, I found a gay man and we've been together for two years next month. Each of us feels like we've won the lottery. I hope you will be as lucky.
You are quite young and at the prime of your life.
Your best years are ahead of you. I don't know if you're into spirituality but it's an excellent source for helping those, so inclined, achieve peace with themselves. Start reading about various spiritual traditions to find one or the many you may resonate with. There are also various self-help books and authors out there. One of the best sources, at least for me, was "A Course in Miracles". Can be a difficult read, and not meant as a quick read. It is to be read slowly and thoughtfully. Best of luck; may your life be filled with an abundance of blessings.
Thanks Art for your voicing this subject so clearly. I am 65 and my husband is 63. We have only been married since 4 years, but lived together
for 20 years before being married. We both were born when gay life was not easy...Altough we are living in Canada, we both reflect on this same
subject...what does the future reserve for us. Right now we have each other, but when one or other disappears what will happen to the other ?
You are young but you have to plan for your life..enjoy it all...keep loving yourself and keep yourself open to meeting others and learn from them.
As an older man who prides himself on independence, I can only do the best I can. I have many friends young and old and I treat them well. So far so good! Do unto others...
Thank u David! Glad you got some company really appreciate it!
You are clearly concerned about the topic of care work and how it intersects with LGBTIQ+ biographies. That shows great thoughtfulness in someone who is perhaps not directly affected by the topic at the moment.
Heteronormativity impacts all aspects of life including care work. There has been an out-pouring of thinking, writing and work on the topic since when HIV/AIDS became widespread in the 1980s and 1990s. At that time it became very clear that laws and health care systems were/are not equipped to adequately serve people with LGBTIQ+ biographies. You will find parallels in the way differently-abled people struggle with the many biases in legal and health care systems, but also heteronormative presumptions about differently-abled people on the part of care workers and management. An analogous phenomenon is also very pronounced in elder care.
Illustrative anecdote: One of the people i do elder home assistance for is a 97 y.o. trans* man. Care staff consistently misgenders him and even refers to him as "Grandma", which would be presumptuous and reductive even when referring to a cis* woman. Imagine being re-closeted, subjected to trans*phobic staff, and not taken seriously simply because you need assistance in your daily life!
My partner and i both work in (elder) care, and have observed this deficiency in health and elder care for decades. Some awareness of the problem is now beginning to gain popular attention, but things are really just getting started.
I caution explicitly against trying to transfer heteronormative models of health and elder care to LGBTIQ+ biographies, especially in light of the fact that these are not working well even for heteronormative people. Do not expect younger friends and relatives to do care work for you. It is unlikely that the generation that follows yours will live closer together, have to work less, retire earlier, or have more time on their hands than your generation will. Presuming people will privately organize the lion's share of health and elder care within heteronormative family groups is already leading to an epidemic of elder abuse and neglect, not to mention a double (triple?) work load on women (and other non-men) who get put in the role of doing this kind of taken-for-granted labor (b.t.w. usually without pay).
I caution against employing a strategy of so-called individual responsibility and self-care especially to the topics of health, aging and care work. Diet, exercise and an up-beat attitude can only do so much when we are dealing with aging, illness, or disability. Diet, exercise and an up-beat attitude do not replace a readily available, well trained, well staffed, well organized professional health and elder care and system.
I wish you all the best for your journey to explore the many ways a heteronormative culture impacts our LGBTIQ+ biographies.
Brilliant.
The NY Times has had articles of late on how nursing homes are cheating to get a good Federal Government rating. Mis-reporting rapes, abuse, etc.
Out of the blue two years ago, I got a boyfriend. We both think we are super lucky - - and we are!!
As someone passing through his 90th year I hope I don't have to go to a nursing home. Better dead, eh?
Art, a really important topic! Thank you for discussing it. 🌄
Thank you John for being on my channel!
Hi Art. Just came across this video. Wow, what a caring, sincere and thought provoking young man you are. Your family should be extremely proud of you. Best wishes from Wales 🏴.
I’m 54 and alone but never feel lonely so hearing you talk about this topic is very interesting to me. Not sure what my future holds for me but I’m determined to remain positive and upbeat no matter what happens 😎👍
I am 52 and my boyfriend is 35. I am not scared so much for myself when I get older as I will have an inheritance after my mother passes to take care of any elder care expenses. However I am scared for my boyfriend. I don’t want him to be alone after I am gone. I want to be sure he is being taken care of as well. He doesn’t want any money - he wants this to go to my son (from a prior relationship). This scares me more than anything. I’m hoping when the time comes we have it figured out.
Thank you for sharing! Don't be scared! Just live the moment. Enjoy! You will figure out how to help him as time goes...
Don't worry. What ever will be will be.
My late bfd was 18 years older than me. I was worried about his health. But he died of a heart attack. I found him and at least he wasn't laying there for days.
Hi, Art. I am gay and 57. I had partner meant to last forever. But he got sick with leukemia and died. We had 12 years together. Now I am by myself and will probably be that way for life. Not much gay life where I live, there is some though. Toledo, Ohio. I work in auto industry as white collar manager. I don't go to any gay places around Toledo. I don't know any other gay men. I know a few lesbians are friends. My friends tell me to find someone, but I am ok by myself. Not easy to get over loss of my partner even though he passed 10 years ago. Have a good day, Art.
Thank you so much for sharing i appreciate it... I am very sorry.. don't give up on love you never know my grand grand mother had her best love at the age 6O...
Hi, you are very right about the percentages of gay folks and loneliness? That is one main thing I’ve noticed about gay life. That is also one of the main reasons why I wish I wasn’t gay? There are so many issues that plague the gay community. It kills me when people think we have a choice- as if? You are wise beyond your years! I always feel badly when I see our younger brothers and sister having to deal with so many problems as they find themselves... it is that reason why I really believe only certain special individuals are made gay- they have to have certain qualities of strength of character that will serve them well in this world. If the world were straighter, can you imagine the population increase the world would have? Plus, not to mention that the rate of violence would climb much higher than it is now? So you You-tubers are helping educated those who have an indifference into gay life and community. I wish you the best, please be well and stay safe. Alex from LA
Well said.
You have raised a subject rarely discussed,
I can understand why it is something that you think about. As an immigrant you do not have a family in America as well as being gay you worry about your aging years. My advice is not to worry. Your generation has so many opportunities my generation did not have. First, you have the chance to have a real and open relationship with a life partner and become part of his family. When you are old and grey there will be many gay oriented social welfare services. And finally, if you are a good and sociable person, which you seem to be, you will have many good friends around you, when you need them. As the song says been, "we are famileee".
Thank you Ian...
Your perspective and wisdom on this topic are very interesting and unique for someone in your age group. I also have always thought about the future, even at a young age. It's important to live in the moment and enjoy life, but planning for what comes next is important. I've observed people - single and in relationships - dealing with aging and the need for connections with others, as well as some type of longer-term care. My paternal grandmother passed away at age 95; she lived alone for 34 years after my grandfather died. She was independent and healthy until age 87, when she started to deteriorate and needed in-home care. She resisted it at first, but eventually allowed the people from the caregiving service to do everything for her. She died with one of them holding her hand, sitting in her comfortable chair in her TV room. My Mimi once said, "It's better to be alone that to wish you were." I've mentioned this before. It's become my standard; I would welcome a loving, caring man into my life, but not some freak with a bunch of mental and behavioral issues (been there, done that). I've built a life of routine and contribution, as your 55 year old friend has, and I find it fulfilling and really wonderful. Plus, I have an amazing dog who is better company than many humans. Ha ha! I do know that routine and being occupied with life makes a huge difference in a person's aging, as well as staying engaged and active. That's my plan, barring any unforeseen health issues. Also, I have invested in property and plan to have the income from that take care of many of my needs as time goes on. I hope to not end up in an eldercare facility, but I know our community needs to step up and make sure we have places for our LGBTQ family members to be appropriately taken care of, so that they can live out the rest of their lives with respect and dignity. It's a current issue that I'm sure isn't being adequately addressed. Artem, your level of intelligence and your interest in making a contribution to society is readily apparent, and I'm so glad you use your TH-cam channel as one of the mediums for that. Keep your mind open to other opportunities like this; I think it's part of your calling in life. 😎
Thank you Britton for such a big comment and constant support I see it and I can't thank enough. I am glad you got it dog! I agree about it is better than humans lol. I really appreciate your nice words about me.
@@artiomboylive My words are just recognition of your qualities, the things you put forth for all of us to see. Thanks for being you! 😘
I'm 72 y/o life is extremely hard and has been since I was 35; here in the deep South GEORGIA I was imprisoned because the "so-called Law" thought I was gay, no evidence but the sodomy law was passed and my life was destroyed "Hear-say" could get you murdered imprisoned and even lynched. I have been told the society has realized all people have realized gay people just want to live and love. I do not socialize and therefore I just do not trust. Presently I have a straight homeless man living with me to take care of me and if he stays I will leave him everything left to him.
Art, your video is much appreciated. Life is better when we have friends of all ages and we can learn from their experiences. You do have a very nice channel and show a lot of wisdom to share...thank you.
Hey Art,
Great video, you are wise beyond your years and its refreshing to see especially in the gay community, it’s an interesting topic your touched on here.
I am now 62 and single, I was only in 2 relationships one that last about 8 years and that was abasically an on/off again relationship, looking back I would not change anything however going through it, it was pretty tough for many reasons, but the benefit definitely outweighed the negative.
The second relationship lasted about 1 year and he ended up dying in an accident and that was quite difficult and devastating, I have been single ever since then so about 22 years now. I have had some one night stands here and their but ugh… that always makes me feel so used and ugly, I mean, the sex might have been good it’s the after effects that’s not very pleasant and so I no longer do that.
If there is one thing I have learned in my 62 years of living it would be that that there is a huge difference between needing someone and wanting someone, I’ve never been one to be needy in that way, today from what I see now in the younger generation is that a lot of guys need and I think a lot of this comes from some form of insecurity and because of this, relationships end up having no solid foundation to build on and they end up failing, of course this is all sort of generalization and there are of course good and bad reasons and anomalies.
I am perfectly fine being along, I may be alone but I am never lonely this too is a huge difference, I love friends and get together with people and talk, be friends, joke around be goofy support each other when needed and learn, live, grow and share. It’s all good.
I would love to sit down with you and have a chat I think that would be cool, you seem like a lovely guy, smart and thoughtful and could become friends. Anyway, thanks for this video, again, your wise beyond your years and a welcome addition to the gay community
Thank you!
@Tzolkin Man
...... Well said my friend!..
Thank you Tzolkin Man i don't know your real name. But thank you. For sharing. I am glad you found your peace and know how to be by yourself. Excellent words about needing and wanting. I feel like I am at this needing stage of my life. But I am alone. I hope one day I will grow up as a person and I will be definitely wanting not needing.
Thank u.
Love Art.
I love your pondering, good observations. I am seventy one and still working. I both have children and a life long same sex partner/friend. You could come and take care of me as I get older. Peace to you sweet Art.
Glad Michael you could find him..
Hi Art ,I'm David, I'm in South Africa,82,looking like 60 feel like 21 yrs, I have partner many years younger, but long distance,we lived together whilst we could,but he had to move away many miles,he is a pharmacist and is following his career,I live in a world heritage site in the mountains of southern Africa, a very small village
I'm involved in projects and groups of both gay and straight friends. I keep positive and enjoy friends of all ages,
My advise to you is to understand Art,be yourself have yourself a friend which you can relate to,no matter what age
I love your videos,I only do you tube,you are a very practical thinking Guy, well done
I'm double your age and I love young, smart, cute guys, with mature mind.
Your video was great!
Greetings from this 6'4" man ☺
Is it just me or does Art have beautiful eyes? Cute ears as well.
Not just you, he is c u t e .
Thank u!
SOME OLDER GAY MEN, JUST "PREFER" TO LIVE ALONE AS THEY GROW OLD!! THIS IS BECAUSE OF WHAT THEY HAVE LEARNED WITH THEIR LIFE EXPERIENCES, TO THE PRESENT. THEY KNOW THAT MANY MEN ARE "PLAYERS," THAT THEY ARE NON-COMMITTAL (EVEN IF THEY SAY THEY ARE), THAT THEY ONLY HAVE THEMSELVES IN MIND, AND NOT THE OTHER......SO, WHY EVEN GET INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE IN THE FIRST PLACE!! THEY HAVE ALSO COME OUT OF RELATIONSHIPS THAT HAVE BEEN ABUSIVE, (BOTH MENTALLY & VERBALLY), AND PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE, AS WELL.....SO, WHY CONTINUE THE CYCLE??? IT IS BETTER TO LIVE ALONE,....WITH OUT ALL OF THE "DRAMA!!"
You’re breaking taboos! You’re the best Artem!
Thank you so much Tim!
I'm 65 look in my 40-50 range I'm told and I've been gay my whole life but I'm still a little closeted. But I fell alot younger. Good topic
I know
Hi Art
It is good to hear someone your age talk about things that many choose to avoid, however try to find joy in life pursuing joy can be risky but the experiences you gain along the way is what makes for a life
Most gays came out very late unlike heterosexual and have less time to become comfortable in their sensuality. Things in this country are getting better. Except the gay community where the comments to the older that have paved the way get jeers and are made jokes of . Thank you for entertaining this topic. You are one in a million with a beautiful thoughtful loving heart. Love you sugar
Thank you Michael for constant support and such a warm words!
Hi ArtIt was nice to hear that you are thinking about your future
I hope you find the happiness you want. I met my husband when I was 52 we,'ve been married 15 years. In life you have to sometimes kiss a lot of frogs before the one that may be your prince
Thank you Dennis! I am happy for you guys!
Build your foundation with intentional living, love your self foremost and others, and always be careful and safe please, from Colby Sunny Phoenix Arizona 🙏
Thank you so much Justin! really appreciate you here on my channel! Please say hi to Sunny Phoenix from Austin Tx!
Thanks Art. Finally someone is acknowledging--and addressing--this issue, which I now find myself (as an aging gay man in my 60s), living with.
I am not as scared as I was before to be lonely when I get older. An important step was to come out, that at least, I think, will give me a chance. You covered a lot in this. The importance of good friends who can help, more assisted living communities for elderly LGBT+ is also very important, the thought of having to go back into the closet when becoming dependent on other people's help is truly scary, so increased knowledge of the inclusive facilities is important to spread around. Thanks for covering this, and good luck Art 😁🙏👍
Thank you Eric for sharing! Friends are important as well as you knowing how to be by yourself.
Hi Art. It is so refreshing to hear from a younger person like yourself. There is so much ageism in the gay community. I am 69 years old and as rule do not feel anywhere near that age. I am in above average health and most people guess that I am 10 years younger. So age is really just a number. Of course that it what older people say. But it's true.
Excellent subject to openly discuss.
In general, persons avoid this topic of discussion.
I am glad it is actually important and we need to talk about it more!
@@artiomboylive in my opinion, it's taboo to talk about growing old. This is more of a "youth oriented society". The emphasis is on "forever remaining young"...the aging process is to be ashamed of. Older/younger relationships are to be avoided.
@@alfredavila5296 Not on my channel and in my minds! Thank you again!
Art, thank you for your honesty and willingness to be intellectually opened minded.
Al Avila
Its a good point to discuss Art good you bought that matter up … its important and so true … very often we fill in the gaps but rarely get return help … however we are strong …
Do Not Put Off Till Tomorrow...when I can do it Today....that's my new motto going forward...thanks Art for the kick in the pants....to all my older gay's like me...do a little each day and we will become whole again....Love you All
Thank you Joe for constant support! Exactly. Do it today. Live today! Thank u!
Love Art.
Hi Art- very nice post., first of all. I actually can’t believe I’m commenting again, coz I just did on a recent post, but the topic was so compelling, I felt obliged, so here goes. Lol.
You do remind me of myself at your age- intellectually curious, almost insatiably so, which I’ve always considered admirable in other people, even if some people don’t understand why I’m interested to the degree that they might not be. Some of that comes from an empathetic personality, so your observation about gay men often being caregivers struck a nerve with me as well. I’ve spent most of my life caring for others. In fact, I was chatting with a friend this morning about that very topic, telling her that I might have been overcompensating my entire life, trying to prove my worthiness to others, coz I grew up in a bigoted age where being gay was not only frowned upon, it was actually illegal in many respects. Yes, you could get arrested and incarcerated for expressing your love for the same sex, so be grateful you don’t have to deal with that, at last here in the United States.
And that’s why I waited to come out to everyone until I was around 52 years of age. I essentially lived a double life that was killing me emotionally, coz I’ve always been an honest person, but this ONE thing about me, I couldn’t find a way to share, at least for the first part of my life, because doing so to the wrong person might endanger everything I had worked so hard for.
Now that I’ve mentored seven boys/ young men over the years, probably to prove myself, I guess, I’ve come to the point where I can’t live that lie anymore, so I took the chance and came out, to mixed results. I’m now basically alienated with my immediate family, because they couldn’t come to terms with who I was, and I couldn’t allow that kind of toxicity in my life anymore. So, I turned to friends, who are now much closer to me than my family ever was. They all accept and love me for who I am, scars and all. So, that’s my first bit of advice- nurture your friendships, whether they be straight or gay friends. Later in life, they’ll become VERY important.
But even more importantly- learn to love yourself. I sense that you’ve already mastered that, altho I’m only a casual observer, so that’s something I just sense. I had much more difficulty doing that for myself, coz I grew up in a time where gay people were despised. There were no positive (gay) role models for me as a lad, so I was super-fortunate to find a man who mentored me throughout my childhood until I left for military service at age 17. Without that stand- up guy, I don’t know what would’ve happened. Perhaps I wouldn’t have made it, to be truthful, because I had some “bad” thoughts at a young age, once i figured out what I was up against. It took many years for me to realize that despite what my church said, or the volumes of medical texts I waded through, I was who I was SUPPOSED to be. There was no “choice” involved. I was born gay, period.
Learning to love myself after that became easier, and knowing the terrible consequences of not loving yourself, compelled me to mentor other hurting humans who came into my life after that. And that alone has filled me with joy and satisfaction, knowing that I’ll leave behind a world better off for my presence here.
I don’t know how or when my life will end, but I often do contemplate that, almost exactly as you have, wondering how technological advances might help, or what might be around the next corner. I’ve never given up on love, altho I’ve also let it come to me, mostly. Lol.
I do have younger guys in my life, some of whom visit me when I’m around, which isn’t all that often, coz I still work pretty hard, even at my age. But, those friendships also give me a reason to continue. Heck, I often spend the last minutes before I fall asleep at night, wondering which of those I should “reward” in my will, because I’ll have no real son who would normally benefit from a lifetime of hard work. So, there’s that, as well. If I was growing up nowadays, I’d definitely want a family, and a mate to spend my life with, even if that’s a very difficult path to walk. Still, I’ve always wanted to be a dad, but now I’m a bit too old for that, I guess.
Anyways, sorry about the lengthy comment. I hope I’m not hogging too much space, Art. But maybe you can find some wisdom in what I wrote. It all comes from my heart, and a lifetime of struggle, that I hope you navigate more easily.
Thank you for incredible story Tuncle. I am glad you were able to come out even though that late and you found friends who support you! I am still far from loving myself even though i might look like i am not - but i am. Same for me in Ukraine and even till literally 22 years old i didn't really know any positive gay role models... Please don't apologize. I appreciate your story and I read it from the beginning till the end... I find a lot of wisdom in them.
You are helping your friends so in some way you became a dad like you wanted to! So it should fulfill you! I am glad you found a peace with yourself and you still have your job.
Thank you for your time and sharing this experience. I will for sure learn a lot.
Loving yourself it is something I always struggled with.
Thank you.
Love Art!
@@artiomboylive - I know you have a bright future, young man. Hold your head high and move forward with love and joy in your heart. Always forward. ❤️
I’m impressed with you, wise and inquisitive... freedom always needs vigilance ..... I hope you find happiness and a special someone...
Thank you Stephen... I appreciate so much these words!
That is so true!
So doesn't have to be. That's a consequence of societal and parental forces that make the different walk into the closet. Only the strong enough able to break out one day. That is extremely isolating. It's usually very difficult to change a lifetime's worth of life behaviour in the effort to stay safe. You needed the peers when you were young to do well, but many didn't have them and so a life is often so compromised in many facets and one of those is education to one's potential. Happiness and fulfilment from just being able to be human. People loving you and you being able to love them.
Positiveness from others and have won out over such adversity like these videos, help those those so trapped to have hope and to gain strength to make changes.
P.S., thanks for the heart, xx.
first let me say thank you for this bringing up this topic, i just turned 58 back in may but i have been by myself without a partner for more then 4 yrs now. I have always been a very independent person even when i was in a relationship, and yes it's always nice to have someone(a partner) but living a healthy life, staying active in community affairs and me personally i'm into the theater and meet many people this way, however at the end of the day as you stated " we all sleep alone " eventually
i would just advise you to keep doing what you are doing and live your life to the fullest now. once you reach old age i'm sure things will work itself out, either by you having great friends that will always be there for you, man or women, or finally meeting that one someone that will be there for and with you for the rest of your life. either way i say just be happy and enjoy the now.. and thank you again for bringing up this topic i remember being your age and asking myself the same question "what is going to happen to me when i get older and not have a partner. as long as you are happy you will be just fine.
Art LOVE YOU!! I am 67 and married to a great guy who is 29. We both grew up in toxic environments and were suicidal. We became friends first because initially we were both in the closet.
Through him I felt love and happiness for the first time. I still feel his age though the mirror tells me otherwise lol!
no offense but this is really fcked up.
I do as dogs do, i dont' regret about yesterday and i dont' worry about tomorrow ! ❤
Aids killed off a lot of the older generation somewhat recently so a whole new group of gay men growing up didn't have many elders in the community to learn from. Before this elder gays were more incorporated in the gay community but now in many ways older gays are excluded. After 35 many gays feel that they are to old and move out to the suburbs, alone and forgotten. Gay culture now is mostly about clubs and bars.
Love your attitude!
not at all sure where the time went but finding myself turning 50.....and you just gotta keep yourself challenged and excited about life, a 'relationship' can enhance you life but cannot control and define it..............i just got back from leaving my job and the U.S. and serving in the Peace Corps for 27 months (ending right before the pandemic).....it is things like this that alleviate any loneliness and fear for me (while keeping me 'young' as well)
You are an inspiration. Bravo!
I'm here for you Art wholeheartedly and unconditionally. Love you.
Thank you for support Joseph!
I am 48 years, very muscular, I have a very good job and live in Germany. I am a lot in the gym, drive fast cars, sometimes on the race track, collecting guitars and so on. From the outside, I seem to have a good life. But even I am openly gay, it feels not, that there is somewhere out there for me. I live in a small city - the only way to get in touch here seems to be over the internet. And then it is just all about sex. I met the most wonderful guy 8 years ago at a concert. We got in touch somehow. His family accepted me - I never had one. But then he wanted a women. It was OK, because I wanted so much, that he is happy - I still do. But it ripped my heart out. I am a 112 kg bodybuilder. Some people call me machine. But of course, I am not, they just cannot see, that all which seems strong is driven by the pain because I lost him. He is struggling with money, his wife, the children, but I lost contact. I wish, I could have a few years with a guy like him and then leave. Yes, he was much younger. I wish, I could find this kind of smile, these eyes, this undescrible something in older guys, but I can not. There is this nice guy in the gym from Austria, a soccer player. He likes me somehow, but for sure he is heterosexual. He is tall as me and if he smiles at me and looks me in the eyes, I am ... - I don't know - wow. When I get home in my car, I think of that and it makes me feel old, tired and lonley.
Thank you for talking about this. Thank you for pointing out that advances in technology will mean a new world of senior care options in a few decades.
Thank you so much! I appreciate it!
A lifetime of living single means a lifetime "building" a life with only one paycheck , which is a tremendous disadvantage for anyone in middle or lower economic class. I mean, reaching 50, as I have, with little to my name but bare necessities, makes the prospect of 60, 70 even more frightening. Plus I've already had one heart attack, so although I seem fine now, health concerns and bills weigh heavily on my future. Then add the fact that this doesn't make me a great "catch," and my prospects for finding and building a loving relationship sink more and more. All this makes me feel that I really wasted my 20s and 30s, which I DID but now it's too late.
Nicely done, Art. I have watched four or five of your videos and was skeptical when this one popped up, thinking to myself, what can he know at 24 about getting old? Just proves how wrong I can still be at almost 72! Try not to think too much about the future. You're going to be fine. you might like this quote from Thich Nhat Hanh, a wonderful spiritual teacher: “The present moment is where we need to operate. When you are truly anchored in the present moment, you can plan for the future in a much better way. Living mindfully in the present does not preclude making plans. It only means that you know there’s no use in losing yourself in worries and fear concerning the future. If you are grounded in the present moment, you can bring the future into the present to have a deep look without losing yourself in anxiety and uncertainty. If you are truly present and know how to take care of the present moment as best you can, you are doing your best for the future already.”
I'm 54 and been single for 10 years. When the gays see my age, they keep it moving . 😂
Leo stop it lol you are young! Thank u for comment!
@@artiomboylive awwww... you're so sweet. If only more guys were like you
Some are into older if you like younger which you obviously do.
I am 56 yrs old and have been single for over 20yrs. I have only ever been involved, to any extent, with 4 people in my life. The longest lasting 8 months. The love of my life unfortunately died of a stroke and I think I am using his memory as an excuse to not get involved with anyone anymore. I am fine being on my own as I have most of my life, but that is my choice and I have no issue with it but it isn't the same for everyone. Some people need that special someone all the time. Each to their own. What I do miss though, is the companionship. Waking up with someone special, sharing a meal, going to a movie. I am lucky to have very good friends who call in on me and always look out for me. You have a lot of love and life to share with someone but don't settle for anything less than you deserve. Remember, there is someone out there for you but that doesn't mean you can't at least taste the menu. Stay safe and enjoy life.
I learned a lot from my older friends. And the biggest problem i see is that when we are young we don't take time to build lasting relationships, so loneliness is the biggest issue in our community.
You are so cute Art.This topic is a very real one in the gay community.This is why we need to help our elderly or sick friends in any way we can.Sometimes by helping them obtain services.Helping them navigate online and checking in on them regularly on the phone or in person.
Good insights. You will figure it out. Every journey is personal.
Thank u Charles
Good Observations Art!