How to Start Healing from Emotional Dysregulation
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 14 ต.ค. 2024
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We have to prioritize connection in order to heal complex trauma and emotional dysregulation. In this clip from '60 Characteristics of Complex Trauma - Part 20/33 - Emotional Dysregulation' , Tim goes through the most important phases of healing to regulate intense emotions that may arise from triggers, like finding rhythm, moving your body, and meeting your 12 Basic Needs.
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Trauma is like an iceberg. You can only see the top, the triggers. The reasons are all below the surface of our subconscious.
I live in NZ and I can tell you, that Maori culture has tremendous wisdom, the wisdom of nature.
What do they do to help, really appreciate anything to help 😢
Watch the film "Once were warriors" - they've really mastered trauma.
@TimFIetcher2 shall I report your fake account?
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.larks I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is. dr.larks
Crappy Childhood Fairy has the ‘daily practice’, which I find very helpful for staying regulated. And it’s free, which is great.
What's the video called?
@@terenarosa4790she mentions it in almost every video in the description. If you subscribe you’ll see that she constantly posts about it. Her channel is extremely helpful as well.
@@terenarosa4790 She mentions it at the end of or during pretty much every video she does.
Just google for her "crappy childhood fairy" homepage and look under "free tools" and you'll find it. 🌱
@@terenarosa4790it's a YT channel I also follow. The channel is simply "crappy childhood fairy" and the program is simply "the daily practice." Go to the channel and I'm sure there's info there. Been meaning to download it and give it a try.
This recommendation might be the impetus I was needing.❤🎉
Whats the video?
So playing my bass guitar, tapping my fingers on a phone screen, playing polyrhytms on a drumming app. All the "drumming" with my restless feet I've been doing for years. It only stops when I force my feet to play the rhytm until it's done. All these things are not obsessuve compulsive disorders. In fact they are my bodies response and in fact coping mechanisms at play. A desperate and impressive attempt to calm the body down. It's actually EFT in disguise what I'm doing. Without even knowing why. And I've been doing this for so long, I could also be a percussionist, and I can play drums by nature. I just don't have the money yet to buy the drums and instruments to do it like Lars Ullrich or Mario Duplantier. So I'm stuck to bass guitar. Or any other object that can make a drumming sound. To start with my own chest and hips and arms. Wild rhytms. Complex polyrhytms. Sad Radiohead ish tunes on bass. All to cope and heal the complex trauma.
It's quite a remarkable realisation and a rediscovery that music has indeed been benificial to get me through emotional dysregulation. In many, many ways.
Bassist, percussionist, CPTSD. You are not alone.
Music is powerful. And it all started with rhythm. Rhythm is everything. I believe it taps into our very nature. And sharing that with others… connection… as Tim mentions here… such a critical part of it. Back in the day, ancient cultures would get together and sing and drum and dance. We try to mimic this today… in the form of concerts and dance clubs… we’ve just unfortunately connected those moments to commerce rather than spiritual connection… which is another problem of our culture… which leads to all the illnesses and psychological / emotional issues Tim is trying to help people heal from. I wish you the best in your life and on your musical journey . 🙏🎸
I was very embarrassed to talk about the things I was going through, with the time I chose, like other people, some were not healthy, but others were. It is difficult to talk to the victim, in addition to the shame, guilt and fear, there is the feeling that you trust no one, but it is important to face and mature to deal with this. God envies me 4 healthy people, I am very grateful.
Hard to find healthy people anymore. Yes, we are very disconnected from one another.
Well said
True
The more you heal, you’ll start to attract healthy people.
There never have been healthy people, unless you mean people that never had trauma.
@@FunLifeTransform I've done a lot of healing, some people are healthy, most are not. The world is full of narcissism. That's not on me!
Thank you for doing these shorter ones.
I pray I can connect with people like you Tim Fletcher. People who know LOVE💖💖💖 I am forever Thankful to you for all you do💖
Can u do lecture on how safe people behave
My phone recently lost connection somehow. The phone number and account completely disconnected from the device and the carrier could not figure out why. I read that this could mean my SIM card was hacked. Well, let me tell you, emotional "disregulation" doesn't even come close to describing what happened to me. I FREAKED! I didn't have phone service for 4 days because I had to wait for them to send me a new phone. When I'm "in it" - and I'm sure many know what I mean - I can't control myself. I was on social media, cursing the phone company and the insurance company because I could not deal with being without a phone. I was like a toddler, red faced, kicking and screaming, because my favorite toy was taken away, and I can't seem to reign it in. These videos are so incredibly educational, but I can't remember what happened to me when I was a child. I'm 61 and I don't see that happening.
I'm also struggling with remembering my past, which is needed for ADHD and Autism diagnosis, since those are diagnosed primarily in children, not adults.
Also, the disregulated points of my own childhood are the ones, I think, my brain doesn't want to relive, and so they're big black holes.
In lieu of childhood memories, I think you could focus on the body experience you're going through. Pay close attention to _where_ you feel things and _what_ you feel.
Lastly, in a stream interview between HealthyGamerGG and PirateSoftware (aka Thor), Thor broke it down like this:
1) feel the emotion first
2) analyze and evaluate the emotion and experience
3) re-process that experience with new understanding
4) file the experience away with the new understanding and emotional response.
Maybe do this with your phone trigger? Accept your emotions that you had in the moment, process what happened while you had no phone, let new emotions come over you, associate those emotions with that memory, then file that memory away.
All this stuff is new for our generation. I wish you the best, friend.❤
It needn't be an 'event' that happened, you may well have been unconsciously schooled or like me neglected to react that way.
Personally, I could only start addressing this once my ambitions for my life began to seem pointless as I entered my senior years.
Girls, money, status, they tend to lose their shine when the hormones begin to flag and the prospect of only a few decades of life span left hits home! You start wanting something for yourself not your "agenda".
Most of my "agenda" was set by my family and friends forty or fifty years ago, and by this anxious kid with a chip on his shoulder who seems to have been following me ever since!
Triggered too often but learning. Have MS with brainstem lesions and thinking may be partially to blame. Pray+++ YOUR teaching helps much. Though no addiction had traumatic experience over 10 years ago and life experiences that wounded but learning more day by day including forgiving in spite of broken trust. Your work is a gift. Thank you!
Sometimes,MS is caused by parasites. Can be healed. There is a lady that cured herself on youtube. Hers was caused by parasites.
I hope healing for you, work your leg muscles and never stop. Try to get a service dog that can detect siezures if you get them. My dad also had it starting with the brain stem and he was told 6 times he'd never walk but he walked on his own most of his life. It did wonders for mental health in my opinion due to the excersise but also his independence.
Because we don’t have connection, having all the other tools is not a bad thing at all. Once you’ve healed all that you possibly can, then you can better judge and not run into narc cults whilst unhealed. Blessings.❤
Give an example of a narc cult
Excellent work Tim, meditation does the trick for me, it’s a game changer🧘🏾♂️
This is what I’m working on, healing my stress system.
@TimFIetcher2 ?
That’s your picture. If this is you and not someone impersonating you then, please tell me how to proceed.
I hope that you don’t have weirdos who come here and mess with people. Sorry my comment isn’t better. I’m very confused right now but yes, that sounds fine. What do I do?
Needed this! Thank you Tim! 👍💯
I've been a big fan for years. Thank you so much, Tim, for all you do!! This is wonderful. The resetting DOES happen. It does take time and seems boring, but in those weeks or months that the brain is rebuilding, it is so critical to prioritize peace in one's life.
I spent the last year resetting and was doing good...looking for work. Decided to try Wellbutrin and the dose was too high which sent me into "Seratonin Syndrome". Now I feel like I need to start over.
@@kimmayer9007 I'm so sorry. That has to be disheartening. I hope your next recovery is faster and you are feeling wonderful much sooner. ❤️
Thank You so much for this vid…I experienced an event this week to which I repeated old patterns of reactivity..and have been disappointed in myself for three days. This is such a great reminder and check point for me to hone and use the tools I have, but failed to implement under great stress.
Does anyone knows whether he has a separate video where he elaborates on Phase 1 - tools to deescalate dysregulated emotions (grounding)
A quick way to ground yourself is to look at your surroundings and start counting pictures, doors, windows, objects, etc. another way is feel the floor on your feet, your butt in the chair,your elbows on the table, body sensations, etc. sometimes just intense belly breathing will deescalate the stress.
I think this is the video its from th-cam.com/users/liveLAfi4e95eUM?si=VfAL9e2RMd7ADwXI
Very helpful. Thank you, Tim. ♥️
Thanks for sharing your wisdom 😊💜🙏
I'm so grateful for your channel. Bless you
Connection to safe people
Can you do a lecture on what safe people look like _ how do safe people behave _ I never met a safe person.
Safe people are:
Honest
Reliable-good to their word
Consistent
Understanding-healthy empathy
Live a balanced life
Emotionally regulated
Responsible
Have Healthy Boundaries
Right wrongs, repair harms
Life long learners
Connection to community
Connection to nature
Spiritually minded
Build people up
Want to better themselves and those around them
IMO
Thanks!
this was a great summary, so thanks for this.
SO HELPFUL - THANK YOU!!!
thank you for this.
Can you please explain the difference between CPTSD emotional dysregulation vs bipolar II?
So helpful. Thanks for sharing!
I agree with connection I have found my life to feel like it’s falling apart after I moved for a job and struggled to find connection. And then 2020 hit and I saw my family less. Then as time went on the family started falling more apart anyway. And now I feel even less connected than before. I have tried setting up lunches and reaching out to people but I can’t find people to connect to still. How do we do this??
Recently I went on a work trip and felt a little connected to two coworkers in particular but one of them doesn’t communicate beyond in person (I’ve tried she’s short) and the other is very extroverted and she just connects with everyone so I still have that connection as far as that goes. She can get a little on the bossy side if you don’t keep up boundaries though so you have to still be careful so it isn’t a full 100% connection but almost.
How do you find your healthy people?? I know if I could fix this part and have solid fulfilling friendships and could spend time with them here and there I know I could feel better at least partially but how
One by one my best friends have died. I’ve found it difficult to make new friends at a deep level. Times are different now.
Thank you this was very helpful.
Such a good video. Thank you
What are the 12 needs were are supoosed to meet?
What are the 12 needs
Thank you.
But what if you feel like a burden & don't want to use other people as your free therapist ?!
When I had the fixer Syndrome I used to be everyone's free therapist, and now that I healed it; I don't want others to be my fixers
Ah! Is that because you don't feel worthy of their time! Think of the esteem they'll get knowing they have helped a trusting friend! Knowing they have someone they can rely on to help in times of trouble?
Does anyone know what the 12 needs bit is about please?
I have no idea what "connecting" to people means. I just don't get it.
Well if you share things with others ….. either you are complaining or being ungrateful. No compassion, No understanding. Only by grace is there any.
Does anyone know what the 12 needs are?
1. Pleasure
2. Physical (food, water, etc)
3. Sex
4. Relationship
5. Love
6. Security
7. Purpose
8. Rest and Quiet Time
9. Beauty (art, music, etc)
10. Awe
11. Spiritual
12. Contentment (peace, wholeness)
@@JoePAcalaughs thank you 🙏😘
@@swansong717 you're welcome 🙏 🤗
This was too much at first hearing (it's going to take a few listens).
Hahah, that is my own reaction! I'll be watching this through a few times in the coming weeks.
💓DBT skills + mindfulness help me reach zen, then i ask Christ and st francis to help me an intrument of their peace. one of the best thing to calm the constent rage from antisocial insanity. instantly turning me from monster to pure awareness. as soon i think im hot shit, i start my mantra '' your are nothing'' love is law, obey the light or stay in prison of suffering'' And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive them that trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
I don't know any healthy people, can't find them
❤🙏☀️
I miss the biblical version at the end of the videos 😢
No yoga please don’t dip into that go to Jesus I worship my Heavenly Father and there is a release when I worship him. Hallelujah ✝️❤️
Very well 👍🏼
Yes, I'm going to yoga to strengthen and increase flexibility - could do without the gongs, humming and affirmations though!
Some of us already have a personal relationship with the guy upstairs.
Makes me despair at the people around me in the group. All a bit sappy.
Number one-you dont have to do yoga if you dont want to. I do "yoga" at home with my worship music on. God knows a saved persons heart. Yoga is used for grounding. You can focus on Scripture. It doesn't have to be a pegan religious act.
Your response shows weak faith. Obsession with religion is indicative of fear based thinking.
@@dharmab5461 I agree.
Yoga?? For Sure Not. You need deliverance from that than!!! Yoga IS worshipping idols😮
😒 I think he means the stretching and mindfulness. Not the superstition.
Regulating your nervous system through breathing/breathwork and stretching is not evil. Pseudo religious yoga classes are not what is being discussed here. Our bodies are a gift from god, being well includes movement, exercise, and a whole food diet for wellness. Learning self regulation of our nervous systems is vital for those who have experienced trauma and key to lasting healing from addiction.
Regulating your nervous system through breathing/breathwork and stretching is not evil. Pseudo religious yoga classes are not what is being discussed here. Our bodies are a gift from God, being well includes movement, exercise, and a whole food diet for wellness. Learning self regulation of our nervous systems is vital for those who have experienced trauma and key to lasting healing from addiction.
True yoga worships Hindu gods😢 Glad others here are aware & commenting as well! Hoping Dr. Tim reads these comments & 🙏🏼s & reassesses that recommendation. Some of us were born into such evil families of origin we have 2 extricate ourselves from any and all "appearance" of evil...like scripture says. Thankful for these videos however 😊😊😊 SO helpful on many levels! God bless❤✝️🙏🏼
He got me until he said yoga nope 👎🏼
Your friend cant even prove he had a job ir even tealky worked !!!! The entire story full of kies !! What the hell are you doing here !!!??? Soneing happened there we had nothing to do with it !! Thought. You xant cone in here now with a story tgat dont make sense forcing us to tell a story tgat didnt hapoened !! I demand steven gone !! And i want everyone gone from here !;; you either take it court but you not going to have a person lije steven tgat is lie after lue coming our of gis moyth in my things !!!