60 Characteristics of Complex Trauma - Part 20/33 - Emotional Dysregulation
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 22 ก.ค. 2021
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People who have experienced trauma have trouble regulating their emotions. They have a stress response system that is overactive and overreactive. It often results in problems in relationships and at work. Why is emotional dysregulation part of trauma? What can a person do to change?
Having a tendency in life to live for instant gratification may seem innocent, but it can lead to many unforeseen problems. It is an especially difficult issue for people with Complex Trauma. Why is that? What are practical tools for change?
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All the years … and you are the best. Unregulated parents lead to unregulated children.
Hi there multi generational trauma survivors.. 😂❤❤
We are on a wild journey, may we all love and love to our full potential.
❤
🤍🕊
Not all children of unregulated parents are necessary unregulated
May we also have a source of guide as him walking next us all when we need this most valuable support on our journey of life.
Just imagine, if we had benefit of a super knowledgeable person as him in our major directiinsin life.
Just marvellous.
Loving for me, is not the problem,. I love hard core and with the empathetic understanding of others' root wounds. Where I struggle is, BEING and FINDING that love in return.
You talked me through a horrific CPTSD attack. I’ve got no one I’m a survivor of CSA. I realize I’m shouting into the void but. Thank you. You talked me through this.
That's amazing!
I'm so sorry that happened to you
Sending digital hugs your way 🧸
I just had a flashback and saw this topic. Your comment is very helpful encouraging. I pray that you and everyone who reads this will find the support system that you need and long for.
Not a void. Sending sympathy and prayers 🙏
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.sporessss I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is. dr.sporessss
I love how he explains WHY we tap or rock, etc, rather than wondering if it's new age hocus-pocus.
No therapist has ever explained my behaviour. I finally understand!!! ❤❤❤
It’s tragic , because this used to be the lion’s share of our training during the 80’s. It was eclipsed by the medical model starting in the early 90’s when mental health became a lucrative industry and hospital systems gobbled up grants for services .
@@nancybaumgartner6774 what model is this considered then?
I love him. I have been listening for 3 years now, and it has helped me more than anything else ever has.
He is awesome, I don’t even like religion but I’ll listen to the 2nd part because I like the way he explains it
Amen! Ditto!
@@luciantempest1291 OMG me too! He makes the Bible stories come alive, and I’m definitely not a Christian. He makes me reconsider my antagonistic view of Christians. He’s the real deal. He loves everyone.
I quit therapy after a few months because my therapist said CPTSD is not real because it’s not in the DSM5. He was telling me not to look at the past and use “the Secret” to manifest the life I want. And I’m like “riiiiiiiiiiight”. The professional class of therapy is not as effective as the TH-cam community of self healers. Tim bears his soul, blemishes and all, so we can relate to his complex trauma. It’s so cool to have a good preacher who doesn’t pretend they are perfect and have always been perfect, and will even admit they have a mental disorder. I’m sooooooo grateful for Tim’s message. Real healing! No bullshit!
Me too ! My life is changing so much for the better !! 😊
Listening to your complex trauma series brings tears to my eyes. You have explained my behavior characteristic better than I could ever put into words. All along I just thought it was bad anxiety & I was weird. Thank you so much for making me feel validated. 🙏🏼❤️
This has explained so much.
Ditto. Thank you for sharing. 😊
Same for me, thanks for putting it into words :)
Very valuable to me!
❤
Be your own safe person. Learn to be ok without anyone. Learn stoicism. Be the rock for others . That responsibility will be a healthier response to dealing with our own trauma. I find being around dreg ululated people makes me rise to being the stable rock . Rise
Amen
Thank you jesus
Exactly.
I see risk in this approach for those still on their healing journey from complex trauma. It's a fine line and I'll share what my perspective has become after years of healing my own childhood trauma. Hopefully it makes sense.
Stoicism can be healthy, and is also 1 degree away from being avoidant and completely negating personal needs. Ask older siblings that have healed their CPTSD after growing up in a traumatic home. Often they learned to completely destroy the value of their own needs being met to instead become pseudo-parents to their younger siblings. They are often seen as stable, responsible, generous, caring, and sometimes stoic in the face of adversity.
The point being, stoic responsibility is not always as healthy as it may look from the outside. In many cases I've seen, the person is deeply repressed having killed off genuine parts of themselves for the sake of taking care of others. Stoicism can be a very attractive form of coping to those that are still on the journey to recovery because they can emulate the way stoicism looks on the outside by numbing their emotions.
One way I've recently gained clarity on how to define this is with the 3 forms of self-worth:
1. Innate worth (your mere existence makes you worthy of life and love)
2. Earned worth (your contributions to others and community gives a sense of value among society)
3. Social worth (your efforts working alongside others in shared purpose creates an intimate social worth)
The example I gave above is a person that has learned to completely rely on the second and third forms of self-worth while surviving on a non-existent sense of innate worth. They have destroyed their sense of self-love that comes from simply being alive. They no longer see any value to their existence outside of what they give away to others. They no longer receive.
There are many examples of people that have been like this that have helped lots of people, and destroyed themselves in the process. A socially acceptable act of self-hate.
I believe healthy stoicism is built out of a deep connection to yourself that leads to incredible emotional resiliency. A common lookalike of stoicism can be built out of emotional numbing by further disconnecting from your own authentic needs and wants through becoming a caretaker. The latter is just another form of codependency masked as emotional health.
Sounds like a codependent response.
I cannot seem to find any people that feel safe to me. Im mid 50s. Despite years of hard and honest personal work, I can only relate in small bursts, a social occasion dysregulates me for days. Maybe i am autistic, as well as C PTSD. I have barely any hope of finding an intimate other i dont feel actively harmed by daily.
This is absolutely BRILLIANT and right-on. As a 62-year-old with severe C-PTSD who has endured decades of many forms of trauma, I'm shocked at how his description of the dynamics involved match exactly how I experience and describe it. My only issue with this presentation, and most others on the topic, is that they all assume the trauma is in the PAST, that something in the present that ISN'T a trauma only REMINDS a person of past trauma. But in many (perhaps most) cases, trauma is REPETATIVE and ON-GOING. It is actual PRESENT traumas that are identical in nature to ones experienced countless times in the past. So, it's NOT a "false alarm" situation. This is a fundamental error trauma therapists miss or overlook. Thus, the advice they give is not always appropriate.
This man is incredible they should teach this in schools
Please stop suggesting to teach this in schools. They already obliterated education. This needs to be addressed in therapy, not in schools. What they will do with your idea is going to be so twisted, that it will have all the unintended consequences you never imagined. The school system might need to change to accommodate different learning styles, but thats different.
YES!!, right!!!, I agree!! 🙋🏾♀️👆👆😲 kids WOULD definitely be MORE regulated in schools . 😼
Nope schools teach you Mathematics Science How to socialize P.E...
You can learn these things on TH-cam
@@westernsellers9148Think that’s why they said schools “should”, implying they currently do not
First of all, schools do teach Conscious Discipline and regulating emotions. We have to because parents and the family unit are not. The school is not where you should be learning this....home is. Parents think the school should do everything. That's not where we truly learn. It starts at home.
He is correct in that it is not a moral deficit (in most cases), but rather the effect of traumatic experiences. Some of which last your whole lifetime. Almost EVERYONE these days is affected, like never before.
This world has become such a toxic place, it is unavoidable.
I think it has always been this way with the human race but we didn’t have the same insight.
@@taylorharbin3948
Well, man has always been capable of evil, yes.
However, our world economic system has never been as tight as it is now, along with the financial chains of interest upon interest, which afffects everyone.
Plus, technology is in the hands of the wrong people.
Man has never been as enslaved as in these days.
Recently diagnosed with childhood ptsd that I've kept covered up as much as possible for years. Starting watching these extremely helpful videos in the past couple of days. Prayers answered when in this video he is incorporating Jesus and the Bible. These two have been separated in my previous searches for answers. It's either one or the other... yet knowing in my heart it's all connected (science and God). Love this thank you so much.
Such critical information for understanding reasons trauma survivors consistently make poor choices and decisions. Living a life regulated by the limbic system explains why I often lose spaces of time, causing me to think I had selective memory, or possibly early alzheimers. When I'm fully dysregulated, I have no sense of time, including the absence of memories, related to that time.
So accurate R Mcd! I feel the same way.
The poor decisions and choices I can relate to. And why I froze.
Time? What's that?
All I want do is understand the breach of my former self by my Narc. bros. better, so hang out on U-Tube day and night. Getting older.
I wonder about Alzheimer's, too. They've tied up so many year's of my life. The criminally insane!
Sounds like absence seizure
Now, he's SHOWING US what "doing the Lord's Work" looks like!!! No spinning around 3 times and chanting affirmations...giving steps for recognizing & healing. 🔥💯 THANK YOU, SIR
Right lol
I'm glad I met this guy via TH-cam. He's so good 👍
I grew up from the womb in a war zone. I am unable to connect & never found a safe person. I often know what's expected of me & at best I can act the part needed in that moment. That leaves me in a state of an inauthentic self. I can not be around ppl for any length of time and I suppose I will always be by myself. Don't feel sorry for me that will only bring me into shame. I don't drink, use drugs or have much of an emotional outlet. I am married to a narcissist for 23 years. I am alone Ive always been alone. Still I survive and
I can't see God, God cannot hug me, but I am more comforted by God than i am with ppl. I know that God loves me, but i wish I could be like other ppl that are coconsidered normal❤
You are not alone. I feel exactly the same way and tend to attract narcissists. I’ve been married and divorced four times😢 so kinda giving up on an intimate relationship. Thank God I have Jesus, my children, and two grandsons. ❤ I’m 54 and just learning why I am the way I am. Hang in there. Healing is coming. 🎉
Im sure your intentions are noble and there is something to be said about the healing power of being of service, nevertheless, there's a thin line between that and codependence
Hello Leslie. I can relate. There's no magical answer. But you're definitely on the safe track now. Please don't feel stuck. And ya know what? None of us are NORMAL. Everyone has SOMETHING WE HOPE TO CHANGE. But even those who appear "NORMAL" are just the same as everyone else. Please LOVE YOUR "SELF." Stick with GOD'S WORD, AND YOU'LL NEVER GO WRONG. REMEMBER...GOD IS ALWAYS "ON TIME" BUT ON "HIS TIME" NOT OURS. . . SO BE PATIENT AND LISTEN TO HIS "STILL, SMALL VOICE." LOVE, VIVIENNE. (I'm sure you know all this. But sometimes it's nice for someone to give a little virtual hug online. =) .... Oh yah, and try getting out and meet new SAFE people!
Is youtube spying on us... ?? How does the bloody feed give me specific videos depending on my mood?? This is not a joke! If someone has the same experience please tell me so, caus i am feeling paranoid as F!
You are correct.
Same here
There are complex mathematical algorithms at work behind the scenes based on other videos you are watching. So that's the less conspiratorial take on this.
On the other hand, I personally believe Google and iPhone platforms do listen to us through our phones. And have for a long time. I know of articles written in the early 2000s about company executives taking the batteries out of their cell phones for private conversations. I don't worry too much about it because they are doing it to everyone and have been for a long time and it's mostly done for advertising I believe. God bless. 🙏
Yes.
I was about to say an absolute 'YES' but let me qualify it with this. It also listens to your conversations with other people and what you watch on TV, the tunes you sing in the shower, the children coming in and out of your life, the apps you use for banking and oh souch more. Whenever something comes up on my phone suggesting I might like, it feels like the 'spies' are reading my thoughts. So YES it spies but it also predicts and perhaps manipulates your very desires and thoughts.
Wow I do this , I call it going away . I close up deep into myself . The whole world goes away .
I can sleep and sleep.
Me too! Its the only way i can feel safe.
I have an intense startle reflex, so this is vital information for me. I often wondered, since the mention of firework’s connection to past the trauma of war, WHY in the world would there be an intense fireworks display, EVERY JULY 4th celebration, on the grounds of our Veteran’s Administration Hospital field. It drove me so crazy that I had to leave, but no one could answer me as to why they would put vets thru this absolute triggering, cruel horror! What are they thinking!?!
Satan mocks the truth by using it against itself.
That’s beyond cruel
They’re NOT THINKING… YOUVE MADE A GOOD POINT you are right that needs to end
OH!!! This explains why the cognitive behavioral techniques I learned were completely useless when I panicked! I didn’t have the ability to rationalize to control my emotion, as CBT says.
I am
Finding my therapist is trying CBT with me and is not addressing my inquiry to check this is a possible reason for
My increased panic attacks. I fit every check box of CPTD base don childhood traumas and a very bad marriage at a young age. Therapist are not addressing CPTD bxs it is easier to
Medicate due to an easier more common disorder
@@bucii01 So your panic attacks have INCREASED since seeing your present therapist??
If so, you owe it to yourself to move on. I believe that the ones who are busy taking notes during sessions (and subsequently unable to respond when we ask questions) are writing our symptoms to sell to Big Pharma to make drugs instead of addressing what Tim says we need in order to heal: human connection. The way that therapists focus on their philosophy whether we’re improving or not can hurt our self-esteem.
Also, rhythm would be a possible way to intercept my panic attacks. Do you think rhythmic patterns would help you during yours?
Also, I believe Tim Fletcher has programs to help people based on the actual science (which is astounding, since he comes from the side of religion and they come from the side of professionals supposedly based in science)
Boy do I need this. ❤😂mood swings like crazy. It’s brutal.
Have learnt so much from these videos. I have lived the affects of complex trauma my whole life so I take it for granted and these videos make me understand myself better. Thank you!
I am completely blowed away with these presentations! I really believe the The Holy Spirit knew how bad I needed these! Thank you sir!
I am so excited with your content ! I’m busy with my children right now but when I have time I want to write you an email. I feel I am being led to build up myself while going through recovery to develop a recovery ministry… your entire library and opportunities to learn through courses if I’m not mistaken has me so hopeful and optimistic! I look forward to communicating soon…God bless you and thanks again!
Right with you
Ditto Amen and Amen!!! 🙏🏼🙌🏼❤
This was one of the most clarifying things I have ever heard about what happens to me, and funny enough how the body is wise enough to try to heal itself.
Thank you so much for this.
This gentleman is an encyclopaedia of knowledge of mental and spiritual ( body, emotional) health. ❤
The “Tim Talks” have untangled my confusion from my childhood and it is as if I’m looking at the world through new glasses.
I was diagnosed at 12 and by 3 different drs by 16 with manic depression and biplorar disorder. Im also extreamly sensitive to sensory inputs "loud noises, textures, touch like wind blowing on my bare skin etc. When i was young we lived by a stop sign motorcycles would stop n rev their bikes REAL LOUD the feeling that ran through my body was so intense all i could think about was pulling whoever it was off the bike and smear their face across the concrete road. Certain yells, to make people talking in a room, high pitched crying instantly triggering. My drug addict drunk mother sobbing triggering i told her to knock that shit off i can listen to your problems but not when your whinning and crying. Most emotions just feel like anger i have a really hard time knowing what emotion im really feeling in turn it just turns straight to anger bc that i can show and articulate and dont feel vulnerable. I find when very intense things happen in my life that cause very intense emotions and pain in my body i usually dont know what to do i cant handle it for very long i end up hurting myself, iv turned to drugs, alcohol, and iv attempted to just exit myself to make it stop. Sounds bad i would rather end my !ife then feel all those different emotions and feelings i just cant think straight i cant believe x is happening cant tell the difference between reality i feel like im just imagining the shit instead of eccepting its real and happening
Hi I feel your pain!! My heart goes out to you.❤
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
May God heal and deliver you, friend 🧡. Jesus knows your name.
Life with a psychopath was difficult to predict. Beside the reg. array of abuse, there was also intentional sadistic abuse. There was really no way to prepare for an evil mind. As I say, evil is as bad as you can imagine and then some. I was the specimen in a wide variety experiments. The only good thing was there were no alcohol or drugs involved. I now see that they developed an addiction to my suffering. Finally contact is nonexistence.
I've had therapists insist there must have been alcohol or drug issues behind my parents cruelty. Nope. I wish I could blame their viciousness on a substance. They were both lifelong teetotalers.
Sounds like their knowledge of evil is mostly theoretical. Pretty much the same as for substances. I think it is a control thing. Little bit of gaslighting from the therapists??
What is evil? As bad as you can imagine and then some @@danae-rain3019
Indeed - there are so many "degrees on a spectrum" of narcissism and psychopathy.
It is very interesting that my abuser was Very intelligent, in that the abuse was very subtle but near constant so that I gaslighted myself into thinking that I was living a somewhat "normal" life. His daughter from a previous marriage was quite more direct, but, in the earlier years of our marriage, I didn't see her that often so, didn't realize what a psychology sadistic individual she was. Whole family - her mother from my ex's first marriage was also "very out there" - burned their house down!!! Yep!!! How uneducated I was to not see the whole picture until too late.
Another thing that fit so well into that whole predatory family was they knew that I had come from a poor, poorly educated, dysfunctional family, so that bad behaviors were normalized - I put up with far more than I otherwise would not have put up with, had I been more educated.
This is new information which is now piled on to what I already have learned!! "Every day's a school day!"
I hope others can work their way out of the trauma; I think and hope that our inner chemistry can change for the better, as we learn and grow ❤❤❤❤
I'm not surprised - the term
"narcissist supply" can, sort of, describe your situation.
Once I began to learn the vocabulary of psychology, things really began to come together so I could realize just what i was really dealing with: Things were NOT my imagination, afer all. Terms such as "gaslighting"; "victim blaming"; "projection"; "love bombing"; "devaluation"; "emotional sadism"etc....
That's a whole additional layer of sickness. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I hope you have seen someone or will see someone to help heal this.
I deep you to understand this at the deepest level. You have no idea just how much these videos have helped me unpack and deal with some of the very descrutive behaviors learned due to my complex trauma experienced throughout my childhood. Truly, God bless you for these.
I’m so grateful for you and all you share.
I haven't even watched the video. It may contain valid ideas and information. This guy generally has a good understanding of what he talks about.
I'm simply providing some feedback about the language used in the title, the language that we use to talk about this subject.
It's something I see all the time and I think the way we talk about it this subject can set us up for success or failure from the start.
The way we set up the premise. The foundation is very important. You can't build your house on sand, so to speak.
Yes, that is a biblical reference.
YOU CAN'T CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS!
It will never work that way. Emotions are automatically triggered through the autonomic nervous system based on the data that is fed into it.
Experiental data from our environment, and preexisting data based on beliefs from past experience.
We can't (completely) control the environment. Your home and inner circle, yes. But work, other people, the planetary ecosystem, etc, no. Of course not.
The other factor that feeds into the autonomic response is the beliefs formed by prior experience.
That's where you come in. You can control those beliefs.
They are formed automatically, by our genetic survival instinct, throughout our youth.
We are programmed. They call it conditioning.
When we can become aware of that conditioning, we can re-examine those beliefs.
It can be difficult and often requires consciously re-experiencing those events.
My hat is off to anyone who can do this easily. You've been doing the work.
You can never control your feelings. The best you can do is accept and listen to them.
Make friends with them. Allow them. Sit with them. Observe them. Smile to them. Listen to them.
Control is an ego function/need.
Getting rid of your ego is impossible too.
Make friends with that too. Smile to it. It is also a survival mechanism and you wouldn't exist without it.
That's shadow work.
Controlling our feelings implies judgment of them. Certain ones we want and others we don't.
That's just not how anything works.
Those feelings drive your intuition and creativity.
You damage yourself by chasing any of that away.
Yes,, sometimes they are unpleasant, I agree.
But they are necessary, God given, divine messengers.
Not something I would ignore.
Make friends with the "enemies" within.
Best thing you can ever do.
That's shadow work, that's the Tantra Mantra too.
Everything is exactly as it should be
When he mentioned Oprah 😮I'm put!! She bad bad bad!
😮Think Oprah's name was used for marketing purposes by the author of the book referred to. I also have serious misgivings about Oprah.
Yes same, like to think he wouldn't use but he is above that talk...I'm not there yet lol
I'm finding this to be a very beneficial guide to understanding myself and understanding others. Understandable may be distinct from acceptable, but understanding is where we need to start.
Oh great, connection--the one thing I feel like I have no control over...
I agree.
I've been Isolated so long, I'm going to go to a Coffee Chat though someone from church.
I need more safe and healthy people in my life. It's time to do that!
I can't tell you how much you helped me through my Healing journey by providing all of the answers, and helping me heal my deepest wounds especialy that I'm a self-healer, and therapy ain't well developed in my country.
Thank you Thank you Thank you
This was so helpful I'm amazed how complex the brain is.
I really appreciate this 60 part series, it really highlights all the areas my upbringing was lacking which are also the places where i need to grow
You're work has been so eye opening and beneficial to me. I am so grateful for your work.
Thank you for having the best way of describing deregulation. I have never heard it explained this way. I wish I had found this video so much sooner. Just wow. I'm still shocked.
Its like you are describing every personality trait i have in this series. This is really confronting.
Thank you for the videos
That's whats so weird when he knows your life but doesn't know you it's like a psychic fortune teller lol
@@leahflower9924 No, it’s because so many us, no matter what gender, race, color, culture, have experienced the exact same things. We are one race, one species. Humans look different with different languages, cultures and traditions, but our brains are wired the same and we all want the same things. That’s why racism and bigotry is so stupid. Anyhow. Cheers! ❤
@olgakim4848 100% I'm so happy I heard this from you. You're the only other person I've seen say this besides myself in all the years I've been looking at comments in blogs. Thank you for that. I know I'm not the only one who sees this but it's about time someone else says it too. 1 race & it's HUMAN!God Bless you!
Dear Tim, do you have a video about high sensitive persons? Thank you, and may God bless you for your work.
You mean CPTSD….Ross Rosenberg
Sam vaknin
Etc…
@@luckyluckyloulou6100 thank you. But I would like to hear from Tim Fletcher what he has to say about high sensitivity in the light of complex trauma.
@Lavinia Blajovan Thank you, Lavinia, I already started listening to them.
highly sensitive = emotionally immature, people who haven't learned to control their emotions
That's absolutely not the definition of someone who is a "Highly Sensitive Person". It's about their brain being wired, from birth, to be extra sensitive to internal and external stimuli. They feel deeply, think deeply, and are moved in a large way by the arts, music, etc. They are typically more sensitive and emotionally intelligent towards other people, sensing what others are feeling. They understand subtleties where others miss them. And that's just a small synapsis of what an HSP is. @@jacquelinekemp4074
When i lover cortisol, and insulin also emotionaly i become more stable😊
Amazing. This information brought me to a breakthrough that I've been looking for 40 years.
Thank you, with all of my heart.
You say the rythm of the mothers heartbeat heard and felt in the womb is unconsciously associated with safety. But what if the mother was disregulated a lot during pregnancy. Wouldn't the rythm then be associated with stress?
Wow this info is life changing. Thank u so much so that I can help heal myself n my family! How powerful to combine psychology with spirituality! I use alot of coping strategies for my anxiety n now I am starting to sing alot of worship songs throughout the day n when I feel a panic attack coming on n it works wonders!
Very important information. For many life-changing. Thank you.
Thank you so much for this. You have helped me so much by this presentation. I feel real hope for the first time in a long time…I did not understand why I react the way I do and felt really down on myself. I will follow you because I really need to for myself.
This is me and it's ruining my life. I try so hard to stay calm. I am on medication etc but I still do it. I am in panic mode all the time. And sometimes I have reason like being sabotaged at work or smear campaigns. But I want to control it and not care.
Read the bible especially psalms
get b vitamins
@@user-it3nu5fj4tYou can read the entire Bible and still suffer from this dis-regulation. I know you mean well. You can pray day and night for God to help you in your suffering, and still be in disregulation. At this point, after years of reading and praying, it becomes extremely unlikely that someone suggesting you do these two things has any idea how much the words sound like a platitude. Read the Psalms? If my mental health remains unchanged, does it suggest my faith is lacking. You know, “ If you had the faith of a grain of mustard seed …..” Faith comes from God, it is one of the promises. Would you tell a person with a broken arm to read the Bible? To pray for healing ?
Me too in that situation. I think I got fired because of it and while being on medication too. I asked to change the meds because they weren’t working but the doc only listened to me when I said I will not take the pills anymore.
Hopefully therapy should also help together with the right meds
This is extremely interesting and informative. VERY on par with the many Facebook groups I used to belong to a few years ago, and began to learn about narcissism and psychopathy, thereafter found TH-cam Channels of Dr. Ramani, Dr. Carter, and Andrew of Narc Daily.
Thank you for your work and in presenting this valuable information. ❤
Very interesting and helps me understand my daughter's anxiety better. As a loving parent and a stable home, I know most of us really do our best and make mistakes that we don't even realize how they impact our kids until later or realize our own dysregulation. I am wondering if the shut downs (no political argument about whether they were necessary or not just wondering about the brain impact) caused trauma to kids that were in critical developmental milestones (like just starting kindergarten, or in middle school), etc. Its not near the same as real dramatic trauma, and could it have caused some trauma? Love the practical advice though I am not familiar with the 12 needs.
My dear husband is in this state, he has been keeping things bottled up parental damage , he is a very sensitive and needs help which he won't step up to his need....I'll keep trying to get him there Sweet man that he really is. It's tough but so am I
HE needs to seek help & not rely on you
@@jacquelinekemp4074 facts
Unfortunately you can't fix him, he needs to put in the work to heal his childhood trauma. You can alert him when he's dysregulated, but it's his duty to heal 🫶🏾
This is one of the most useful lectures I've heard in ages! Thank you for helping me to understand the freeze response.
Excellent explanation, thank you. The limbic/dysregulation/ rhythm could also explain eating disorders…
It explains why I've been a rocker all my life.
What an insightful, powerful message! The conclusion (referring to 'CONNECTION') reminds of Dr. Henry Cloud's discussion about 'THE POWER OF THE OTHER'.
THIS is the video i needed from this playlist, i always thought i was borderline BPD like my father, but this makes much more sense for why i have been using substances to help regulate my emotions.
connection is definitely important - really believe that
Always a joy and a privilege to listen to you. It is of tremendous help to hear what you are saying. Thank you, thank you. ❤
This man us like finding GOLD 😍
Go back to the trauma event.. re-frame the lesson learned with a wiser mind. Speak that mantra daily 👏🏽
It can also be worse than the father or mother attacking the child (in an obvious way)…
They can also subtly demand him, that very same attention the child is asking for.
Then, you get re-traumatised in a hyper-dependent cycle.
222 comments. God led me here. Thank you for this Tim, it has shed some light on why I have reacted poorly to certain situations over the years. You’re a blessing brother, keep doing the good work.
And it’s 2:22. 🤯
not sure if you've heard of the Wellbriety movement but think it's really connected to what you talk about, especially the part at the end about Indigenous views on health. Watch The Wellbriety Movement and Intergenerational Trauma if you're interested :)
These are actually incredible videos. Thank you!
I have just discover your channel, I think is great!! Thanks Tim!!
Me too!
This was an excellent video.
Wow this is profound..i am so glad to have clicked on this video
Great man. Need more people to gain knowledge on this. Bless your soul thank you.
Oh this is really good!!! Thank you so much Mr. Fletcher!!
What an insightful man God bless your work 💜🙏
Leveling up past my abusers.
Great video
Where exactly have you been all my life..? Thank you 🍁☀️
This is my friend, exactly. Sharing w/ him now. Thank you!!
Thank you for sharing this freely. Everyone should know about this. This is a great help.
Thank you for this. It is REALLY needed
This is so amazingly helpful!!
On so many levels
Working with patients to be able to understand this process is such a gift
THANK YOU
the best simplest explanation I've ever heard :)
🙏 Thank you...this is spot on with me.❤
Your talks are pure medicine, thank you!
Wow, I learned so much from your video. I wish they taught this in psychology class. Thank you!
This perfectly explains what is wrong with me. All these symptoms are exactly what I experience.
Maybe I’m broken, but this guy says that because a child sees another person as calm, they learn to be calm.
That’s like saying you get good at golf when raised by a golfer. It’s just not true. Even naturally talented people need someone to teach them. A child needs to be taught how to emotionally regulate. In my case, when I was emotionally deregulated, my parents didn’t know what to do. I never learned how to regulate and either stuffed my emotions or exploded. I still don’t know how and the best solution I have is to try to stop the emotions before they start.
What a fantastically explanatory video. Answered so many of the questions iv struggled to answer !! So grateful for this ❤
These talks/videos are so great
Wow! Thank you very much. This is deeper than mist if tze videos on YT
Connection is the key ingredient. Well said.
The fact that you try to control something you are not aware of while it was created shows that you are not living consciously.
Absolutely brilliant presentation...to reach the layman. A God sent angel! Thank you.
I LOVE THE VISUALS with it !!, & your tone !, THANK YOU !! 😃😼
Brilliant explanation. The opiod part was a huge revelation for me.
This video may have saved my life. Thank you so much!
Thank you for being you and sending this message.
Primitive Reflex Integration Therapy helped a great deal with Disregulation. It took time and consistency but it has helped me feel better.
Thank you very much sir tim it help me a lot.... God bless you and your ministry...
If you had my son’s life story from 19 months to 5 .. and see him now he would prove everything in your lecture! Rhythm, routine & my (primary parent since 5 yo) regulated mood, behavior & attitude no matter how stressed is largely how my autistic son is a different child! Now I will say most of what I did although very similar to your lecture was just instinctive. Great lecture man!
It is absolutely true. According to my undisclosed needs, utube sends me appropriate videos. I am not paranoid but grateful 😊
Insightful talk thanks. The calm and rhythmic way in which it is delivered is by itself highly appreciated.
Absolutely enriching!
You provide the human manual that is missing so essential truly amazing 💜🙏
Exactly🎉