“We (mothers) have been told that we’re not educators.” Thank you Tammy for stating this. It has been such a hurdle to get over. Indeed, there is plenty to learn about how to teach, but we are so much more capable of educating our children than we are lead to believe.
Exactly! There are so many homeschooling resources so it's very possible and most likely better to homeschool! Ivy league schools actually prefer homeschooled students and that says a lot! To anyone considering homeschooling, you CAN do it! Your child will be better off and your relationship will benefit as well!
Thankyou I've been crying this from the roof tops for ages. I know in many cases both parents need to work. So grandma here has done the babysitting so they are genuinely loved in these crucial years.
Great for you. I'm Australian and I'm blessed to live across the road from a tiny private school ( $2000, per year). There are about 10-15 kids per grade, and the kids are not restricted to their own age group. It is K-10 and I've never seen even the older kids on a phone after school. I have homeschooled but it's very difficult if both parents need to work.
@@samanthamarie6012 In Australia during covid their were fears unvaxed kids would not be allowed in school. Teachers who were unvaxed were forced out of their jobs. Most communities came close to starting their own schools We were going to hire a now unemployed teacher and use a very large garage. Perhaps see if other parents in your community are interested
Fully agree. Thank you for this episode. Meanwhile, we have old people being either alone or taking care of pets instead of playing with their grandchildren. We really need to change that.
The world has benefitted GREATLY from your decision Tammy to stay home with your children. Know you are sharing your gifts too! Much love to you and yours! I started as a woman who saw Jordan's incredible insightful observations and love of humanity. Then Mikaela and now you 🙏🙏
In France, it is now 100% Mandatory to send all THREE year olds to school full time. That made us reconsider moving there, and decided to stay in Canada, for the sake of my three year old.. interesting conversation, thank you
Yes I’m an expat in France preparing for my first child but I’m considering returning to Australia due to the early school mandate here… plus the 11 mandatory vaccines in France for a little baby 😬
This was an excellent podcast. I am a retired junior kindergarten/ kindergarten teacher as well as grade 2/3 of 32 years. Having a grandchild of my own has awakened me to being available to interact and play on a weekly basis. I notice such a difference in mood when all screens have been out away for long periods of time. Thanks so much for this interesting podcast. ❤
My gkids are 4-12 and whilst the older ones play computer games and do research, they have never used social media and they don't own a smart phone. I live across the road from the school they attend. It is K-10 and I have never even seen the teens on smart phones. I'm very pleased, it is a very small Australian RC school. There are 10-12 kids in a grade and as an example, so year two and three would be taught together by a teacher and an assistant teacher. So the ratios are great and no kid gets left too far behind. And ofcourse children's social development differs and some make friends with kids slightly older or younger. Enjoy your little one, they grow up so quickly. ❤
I feel guilty even when I am on my phone for 5 minutes. However, there are strategies I use to help my daughter feel included when I have to be on my phone for whatever reason (e.g. calling someone, sending a message or buying something). I will ask her to speak to whoever I am speaking to or I put it on speaker so I am not speaking into the phone and then I still look at her and play with or engage with her. If I am watching videos like these I use brave so I can turn my screen blank and not stare at my phone and just listen to the talk. Then I play with my daughter and cuddle her or engage as she plays. I only play games or check certain messages that can wait when she naps or when she is in bed at night. I also try to read books so she can see me reading instead and will be interested in that when she gets older as she already loves reading with me. If I am ever on my phone to type a message I always put it down if she seeks my attention. I pay attention to her and then if she walks off and plays I will continue my message.
I looovvee the talk about schooling not being the way for young children. And How it's not as important as we've been led to believe. This is an especially good podcast with lots of good information. I'm saving it and going to listen again.
21:29 I agree with almost everything other than that 3 year olds are not developed enough to enjoy playing with peers. I started kindergarten at 3 years old and absolutely loved it from day one, made friends and all.
It is mind-blowing how many of my 9 year old daughter's classmates have smartphones. Almost every time we've taken our kids out to dinner with their friends and their friends' parents, at least one of the kids was placated with a smartphone or a tablet (from toddlers to pre-teens).
I live in a rural Australian town. I don't know any children who own smart phones. Some have dumb phones if they need to phone their parents. Pubs and restaurants supply boxes of toys for babies and toddlers and often playgrounds for older kids. It isn't frowned upon for children to go and play after they've eaten.
I'd make it a point with friends, no smartphones at the table. Let the children socialize. Smart phones are new pacifiers, it allows children an out to avoid the anxiety that comes with life and being human. Even I admit as an adult the affect phones have on anxiety within us. It is a problem in our new world, unspoken.
I wish I could MAKE every young 20-something GenZ woman like me listen to this! Girls these days who will be mothers someday NEED to know these things. _Especially_ about phones. We as a generation were raised on screens, and many GenZers don't know _how_ to not be on any screens for hours and hours. But we _need_ to be able to do that for our childrens' sake!
Very grateful for y'all opening up this conversation. It's been painful that my husband, who has the same degree as me, can't find work but yet I'm supporting my family financially when I want to be home with our children and he wants to be out working. He has not been able to land a job that support us as well as the one's I have been working. It's near impossible for us to switch at this point and I'm not saying I make tons of money but I can support our family with a liveable single income and he just can't land a job like that. My babies are growing up without me. I would argue there is nothing more depressing for a mother to experience.
Can I reassure you of something? There is a huge difference between children who are sent to daycare/school because of necessity and not because the parent would rather not be around them. Children can sense this and it truly does make a huge difference for them! I know being away is awful for you, but if you are both doing your best, your children will greatly benefit from that, whereas, the main issue with early childhood education is that most parents use it as a convenience to get away from their children.
Oh my gosh, I just met my first nephew, and I hurt to see my brother holding him and scrolling through his phone with the other hand. My brother and SIL are not super sociable people and are just trying to get enough sleep, but I worry about this kind of thing with them. I know it is not my place as an unmarried and childless sibling to recommend anything to him, but I am definitely going to take care to keep my phone away when I interact with my nephew.
Parents have been answering phones, reading newspapers etc for over a century. They'll figure it out. Babies and dad's take a bit longer to bond. Do they intend to put the baby in daycare? That's the crucial difference between today and then.
@@LegoGirl1990 No, perhaps a novel LoL. But really how much time did people have to interact with babies either? I have known many women who were housewives in the 1950s. They did not have electricity. They did the washing on a washboard, including the babies nappies (diapers) They milked the cow and made the butter. They grew the kitchen vegetables and tended the chickens. Then there was the housework and every meal cooked from scratch. Every bit of hot water needed to be heated on a wood fired stove that needed tending. Most of these tasks could be interrupted to breast feed a baby or tend to an older child's skinned knee. But how much time could they focus on where the baby was looking? Maybe it was enough that baby could watch her.
I feel the same frustrating conundrum! My brother in law and his wife have a 1 year old and an infant, and they are just NOT interested in spending much time with them. Particularly the mother. I love them, they're family, but it hurts to see them just leave either baby in a play pen with the TV on for _hours_ so that they can be on their phone or do what they want. I hate seeing it, but I dont' know them well _enough_ to feel comfortable saying anything.
This was such a great and informative piece. I am a soon to be mom of 5. 2 are school aged and have been in school. I would love to homeschool but it’s so nerve wracking thinking I could fail the other 3 in their education. I adore the idea of having groups of prenatal and postpartum women getting together. I wish that was in every community. Thank you both for this. Tammy you are amazing and so sweet.
Sorry but I no longer judge parents on their phones while out with their kid in the stroller. It's such a small snapshot into this caregiver's life. I would be engaged with my baby all day at home but for me a stroller walk is literally the only time in the day I get some me-time by listening to podcasts like this.
Most people these days shamming parents for a lot of things. They think mom need to stay with children 100% to serve/entertain/care as if mom is not a person. 95% of the thing I do are for my son. I often think I’m a slave and there will be someone say I’m not doing enough. Parents should always try their best to raise their kids the best way they could and ignore other people opinions. These podcasts is meant for education and not treat it as a definition being parents
American raising kids in Germany here. I am a teacher in a traditional school, but my background is Montessori education (mixed ages, child interest driven). I hear what you are saying and can see value in it, however I also think it has a very real potential of widening the gap between kids who truly benefit from what you propose and those for whom it would not work out well for. We have been so disconnected from the concept of being raised in a family (not just both parents, but multiple siblings, grandparents, cousins, etc.) that i am afraid the socialization a child would get would be insufficient. This combined with the adults who are around being so highly distracted themselves (phones/work/listlessness from exhaustion), that i could see this really backfiring. You would have to first get people on board with the concept of alloparenting and get them to redirect their concentration to their child and other people. Then you would have to reeducate them about how to engage with others, communicate effectively and THEN a little bit about how to go about homeschooling effectively. That's a daunting task. I could see this done in stages, but i think it would take a few generations and you would really have to have a hybrid model. It's an extremely complex issue.
It’s really not that complex there are plenty of American families that have homeschooled successfully. Parents that worry about socialization put their kids in extra curricular activities (co ops, sports, hybrid schools are an option too)where they interact with other children for a healthy amount of hours a day instead of being gone for 7-8 hours a day which is just a ridiculous amount of time for your child to spend with so many strangers every day which btw includes the teacher who you only meet with 2-3 times before dropping your child off for the first day of school.
@@MrsHousemaam I think on an individual, small scale, that is exactly right and I know of plenty of homeschooling success stories, so I agree with you there. I am talking about on a society-wide scale. Because we would want all children who will grow up to be part of society to have the optimal option, right? Then it gets complicated.
@@jessicaheckner7035 I see where you’re coming from but I believe if parents were incentivized to homeschool and supported by the community and government then more parents would do it and public school would solely be an option for children in need who come from broken homes/single parent households. I’m pretty sure teachers would also be grateful to not have overcrowded classrooms anymore.
Great podcast ladies, hope new families live your prayers for strong healthy guidance in our human perseverance of growth wholeness of our children 🙏🏽🎶♥️
People(!) are by far the most important and valuable resource a country has. And the first three years of life are by far the most important stage in the ultimate development of that infant. So rethink and invest wisely. And think far beyond money.
I'm Australian and I live across the road from a small RC school. I have never seen even a teenager on a smart phone after school. My own gkids are 4-12, and have never been on social media. They play computer games and do research on computers and that's it.
Florida gives us the state money per child to make your personal family choice for each child. We choose to home school others choose private school and some do hybrid choices.
I absolutely am 100% with you. However, i have been also in many homeschool groups of moms and a lot goes on undetected. Moms that are extremely controlling thrive in controlling their homeschool kids and this doesnt play well for the child in the long run. Anxious mothers, mother with PD seem to be so into long term home schooling at it seems to me that is not all for the good of the child but for the mother to sooth herself and all she needs to face head on rather than keep her kids tighten to her dysfunctional selves? what or how can this be done for the benefit of the mother and the child?
When mothers use their children to soothe their insecurities and fears it is felt and not healthy for the child, no matter if they are homeschooled or not. And yes, I have noticed the same thing in the moms I know who homeschool etc. It is generally an extension of their anxiety and a means to shelter or control. Of course this is not 100% of the time but it is from what I’ve observed. I don’t live in an area with these values typically though. In my opinion we focus way too much on the external decisions parents make and not the level of health and consciousness that is behind them. It’s especially aimed at mothers which is also sad. Dads don’t get this type of societal pressure or judgement.
@@almaosmeni-olaveson1444 I agree! But they dont have conflicting advice from all corners of the internet on how to do that lol. I don’t see podcasts and IG accounts telling Dads the right way to provide and shaming the different paths to do so. Just my opinion 🤷🏻♀️
@@jordanc12333 that is very true! I think they do that bc they have figured it out how we work. Women brain and women emotions. So if we learn how we work ourselves then we take the power back and we can smell it a mile away what this accounts are doing to us and we unfollow them.
In the UK we've had a school starting age of 4 for decades. Now fhe whole culture doesn't believe parents are the best at raising children and different parties across the political spectrum all declare that "school is the best place for children". We home educate, and everyone asks us how we will socialise our children, as if the only place children see other children is at school. I actually think that is increasingly true as we stop children playing outside with concerns about their safety, despite the rate of child abduction being very small and hardly changed for decades.
53:54 The problem with giving the money that would’ve been spent on the child in public school to the family is that the government will then regulate what the parent can buy for curriculum, etc. Makes sense since the taxpayers are footing the bill! But that is why many homeschoolers do not want vouchers. We appreciate the freedom to educate without government involvement or “help.”
In Ontario, full day kindergarten starts at four, though some have yet to turn four when they start. They are at school from 9-3:30. I’ve taught classes with 29 kids in kindergarten, with only one other adult in the room. It’s been an utter disaster since it started to the point where very few teachers want to teach kindergarten.
I often hear “my child needs socialization, they need to learn social skills.” My comment is, children will not learn healthy social skills from other child, they learn social skills from their parents. Think lord of the flies.
We have been lucky enough to be around family for our childrens youth and have family members watch them growing. The thing about daycare and schooling for children in the us, i am very much against sending children who cannot speak yet to school. It is a thing ofcourse people live their lives differently. But sending a child who cannot speak into the world that is chaotic and meant for a child to be able to regulage themselves when choices and desicions arise yet they are unaware of any of that at such a young age. We have children as young as 10 commiting crimes and killing. 1 to 5 is a very short time frame we have to help build our childrens morality. Help them build a founadion of confidence in themselves and all the pillars they need for their foundation mentally. They enter into school, which does not teach them to be healthy in their daily lives. The entire setup leading into high school does not help children. Too many are lost inside and do not understand where they stand within family. Within community, within the world. It is not taught. Children learn through play, we play with children and they learn how to play with eachother and instead of sitting at a desk, children can learn almost anything anywhere with playing a consistent type of game. It is unfortunate that we have syraued from rhe values of wanting to raise adults who are self aware, who have competence, who want to build and raise their community and themselves to be better. People do not have that anymore. The fruits of all these years of schooling has shown with the rise of internet and social media, brain rot. It is going full circle now. Lets see what the future of education will bring, this will be a revolution within the education system and within the home and family unite.
Lots of countries in Europe have banned home schooling. In the UK you can not take your children out of school for a trip, even an educational one, without a fine.
In South Africa, the president is about to sign a basic education law bill to make Grade R (the year before formal schooling, which is ages 6 to 16 years) compulsory, forcing children as young as 4 into compulosry schooling. It is at the same time wanting to make it very difficult for parents to homeschool. They also want to take away the rights of schools to determine the languages of teaching and learning. Without any real care for thr young child or respecting their natural development and what is good for them 😢 It is all crazy times we find ourselves in. Parents are so sucked into the schooling system that many don't even realise the threats to their parental rights.
I'm currently 12 weeks pregnant and really struggling with the idea of putting my baby girl in daycare and returning to work. It feels so wrong but as it stands my insurance is much better and cheaper (like half as much) as my husband's insurance. It would be really hard if I stay home but I just don't know if I can do it.
I always stressed the importance of being there for your young child when I taught Kindergarten. The 4 stages of development, long established by Jean Piaget: 1. Sensory-Motor (birth - 2) 2. Pre-Operational (3-6), 3. Concrete Operational (7-11), 4. Formal Operational (11-14). At no time in these stages does "trans, born in wrong body" make sense. Never did, never will.
While all the ideas about smartphones and parents working and children in schools is not rocket science, the real conversation about child development is poverty. I find the people who do research and come up with ideas are the people who have adequate incomes, live in their own homes, come from middle class lives as children and now speak about all the wrongs in the life of children…. As long as families live in poverty the outcomes for society are sadly declining , the over all health physically, as well as mentally, creates a person who cannot function at the highest level possible,…. So no matter what. Poverty is the centre of the issues.
Very good intervention, only disagree on the critics against swedish laws.in these official public schools there are professionals wirh verified degrees built by centuries of pedagogical methods and suppoerted by childhood psychologists who are surely more competent than the average of the parents who simple have different competeces. So surely not at an early age, but at least from 6 years old the good verified schooling is actually the way for our children's growth and this is right to be a government concern. By the way paid though taxes and not privately.
The bit at the end about adults losing jobs if the education industrial complex were reduced: We need school bus drivers because our mass transit stinks, drivers and money could be diverted there. Teachers would still be in demand in smaller schools, co ops, as tutors, etc. I’d bet this is only actually zero sum for the politicians and administration which is severely bloated.
Thank you for bringing this into the public space. Parents (specifically MOTHERS) NEED to be home with their children, for at least the first 6 years. Then preferably home schooling until the federal monopoly on “education” gets disbanded and we place schools back in local communities again.
I like the content but she is not the best presenter. It may be helpful for her organization to hire someone who can speak without so many fillers and stutters. She seemed unprepared and surprised by questions.
That idea tormented me more than it should have. Children are resilient and if I were to say something so inflexible such as “there is nothing worst for children than a depressed parent” I would say there is nothing worst for children than parents who give up. My children grew up with a depressed mother who taught them the value of prayers, how to take care of their own mental health, the value of compassion toward themselves and others, and most importantly, they know they should not give up. Depression is a monster you shouldn’t have to fight alone. Seek help, keep praying. 🙏
@@vannemontes2712fair enough to all of that except stating that kids are resilient. No. They aren’t. That’s kind of the whole point of this podcast is that children are very emotionally vulnerable and that their environment in their early years impacts the trajectory of their entire lives.
@@vannemontes2712 When I'm in any sort of decent frame of mind, I know my kids need me. And I've seen videos and heard stories of children left behind after a parent dies (whether or not by their own hand). But that comment certainly plays on the part of one's brain that says loved ones would be better without you. I'm only just starting to slip back in, so hopefully my youngest will be done nursing before it gets too bad again. (I'd like to hold off on going back on meds until she weans.)
![Bruce D. Perry: Social & Emotional Development in Early Childhood [CC]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/vkJwFRAwDNE/mqdefault.jpg)
![Bruce D. Perry: Social & Emotional Development in Early Childhood [CC]](/img/tr.png)
“We (mothers) have been told that we’re not educators.” Thank you Tammy for stating this. It has been such a hurdle to get over. Indeed, there is plenty to learn about how to teach, but we are so much more capable of educating our children than we are lead to believe.
Exactly! There are so many homeschooling resources so it's very possible and most likely better to homeschool! Ivy league schools actually prefer homeschooled students and that says a lot! To anyone considering homeschooling, you CAN do it! Your child will be better off and your relationship will benefit as well!
Thankyou I've been crying this from the roof tops for ages.
I know in many cases both parents need to work. So grandma here has done the babysitting so they are genuinely loved in these crucial years.
I'm very thankful I have the privilege of homeschooling my 3 children.
Great for you. I'm Australian and I'm blessed to live across the road from a tiny private school ( $2000, per year). There are about 10-15 kids per grade, and the kids are not restricted to their own age group. It is K-10 and I've never seen even the older kids on a phone after school. I have homeschooled but it's very difficult if both parents need to work.
Yaaassss mama.im trying to figure out if I can handle homeschooling more than one right now haha
@@samanthamarie6012 In Australia during covid their were fears unvaxed kids would not be allowed in school. Teachers who were unvaxed were forced out of their jobs. Most communities came close to starting their own schools
We were going to hire a now unemployed teacher and use a very large garage. Perhaps see if other parents in your community are interested
@@grannyannie2948super ultra lucky!!
Fully agree. Thank you for this episode. Meanwhile, we have old people being either alone or taking care of pets instead of playing with their grandchildren. We really need to change that.
Omg SO true!!!!
Such a disconnected society 😢
The world has benefitted GREATLY from your decision Tammy to stay home with your children. Know you are sharing your gifts too! Much love to you and yours! I started as a woman who saw Jordan's incredible insightful observations and love of humanity. Then Mikaela and now you 🙏🙏
In France, it is now 100% Mandatory to send all THREE year olds to school full time. That made us reconsider moving there, and decided to stay in Canada, for the sake of my three year old.. interesting conversation, thank you
Move to Spain instead :) it's mandatory from the age of 6
Wow that's insane
Yes I’m an expat in France preparing for my first child but I’m considering returning to Australia due to the early school mandate here… plus the 11 mandatory vaccines in France for a little baby 😬
Wow that is scary. What is he true. Agenda of the government in France?
Scary. That’s textbook communism.
This was an excellent podcast. I am a retired junior kindergarten/ kindergarten teacher as well as grade 2/3 of 32 years. Having a grandchild of my own has awakened me to being available to interact and play on a weekly basis. I notice such a difference in mood when all screens have been out away for long periods of time. Thanks so much for this interesting podcast. ❤
My gkids are 4-12 and whilst the older ones play computer games and do research, they have never used social media and they don't own a smart phone.
I live across the road from the school they attend. It is K-10 and I have never even seen the teens on smart phones. I'm very pleased, it is a very small Australian RC school. There are 10-12 kids in a grade and as an example, so year two and three would be taught together by a teacher and an assistant teacher. So the ratios are great and no kid gets left too far behind. And ofcourse children's social development differs and some make friends with kids slightly older or younger.
Enjoy your little one, they grow up so quickly. ❤
If you can afford to stay home you are blessed.
I feel guilty even when I am on my phone for 5 minutes. However, there are strategies I use to help my daughter feel included when I have to be on my phone for whatever reason (e.g. calling someone, sending a message or buying something). I will ask her to speak to whoever I am speaking to or I put it on speaker so I am not speaking into the phone and then I still look at her and play with or engage with her.
If I am watching videos like these I use brave so I can turn my screen blank and not stare at my phone and just listen to the talk. Then I play with my daughter and cuddle her or engage as she plays.
I only play games or check certain messages that can wait when she naps or when she is in bed at night.
I also try to read books so she can see me reading instead and will be interested in that when she gets older as she already loves reading with me.
If I am ever on my phone to type a message I always put it down if she seeks my attention. I pay attention to her and then if she walks off and plays I will continue my message.
I looovvee the talk about schooling not being the way for young children. And How it's not as important as we've been led to believe. This is an especially good podcast with lots of good information. I'm saving it and going to listen again.
21:29 I agree with almost everything other than that 3 year olds are not developed enough to enjoy playing with peers. I started kindergarten at 3 years old and absolutely loved it from day one, made friends and all.
It is mind-blowing how many of my 9 year old daughter's classmates have smartphones. Almost every time we've taken our kids out to dinner with their friends and their friends' parents, at least one of the kids was placated with a smartphone or a tablet (from toddlers to pre-teens).
It's insane... They're not going to raise they're kids right when they're old enough..ugh..so scary!
I live in a rural Australian town. I don't know any children who own smart phones. Some have dumb phones if they need to phone their parents. Pubs and restaurants supply boxes of toys for babies and toddlers and often playgrounds for older kids. It isn't frowned upon for children to go and play after they've eaten.
I'd make it a point with friends, no smartphones at the table. Let the children socialize. Smart phones are new pacifiers, it allows children an out to avoid the anxiety that comes with life and being human. Even I admit as an adult the affect phones have on anxiety within us. It is a problem in our new world, unspoken.
I wish I could MAKE every young 20-something GenZ woman like me listen to this! Girls these days who will be mothers someday NEED to know these things. _Especially_ about phones. We as a generation were raised on screens, and many GenZers don't know _how_ to not be on any screens for hours and hours. But we _need_ to be able to do that for our childrens' sake!
I’m a family day care educator
Kids are my family!! I work with them till they leave me I love them all ❤❤
I have a 15 month old and am discerning a “Mother’s Day out” in my Catholic Church. It’s a great environment but this information is very helpful.
Very grateful for y'all opening up this conversation. It's been painful that my husband, who has the same degree as me, can't find work but yet I'm supporting my family financially when I want to be home with our children and he wants to be out working. He has not been able to land a job that support us as well as the one's I have been working. It's near impossible for us to switch at this point and I'm not saying I make tons of money but I can support our family with a liveable single income and he just can't land a job like that. My babies are growing up without me. I would argue there is nothing more depressing for a mother to experience.
🙏💗
Can I reassure you of something? There is a huge difference between children who are sent to daycare/school because of necessity and not because the parent would rather not be around them. Children can sense this and it truly does make a huge difference for them! I know being away is awful for you, but if you are both doing your best, your children will greatly benefit from that, whereas, the main issue with early childhood education is that most parents use it as a convenience to get away from their children.
Oh my gosh, I just met my first nephew, and I hurt to see my brother holding him and scrolling through his phone with the other hand. My brother and SIL are not super sociable people and are just trying to get enough sleep, but I worry about this kind of thing with them. I know it is not my place as an unmarried and childless sibling to recommend anything to him, but I am definitely going to take care to keep my phone away when I interact with my nephew.
Parents have been answering phones, reading newspapers etc for over a century. They'll figure it out. Babies and dad's take a bit longer to bond. Do they intend to put the baby in daycare? That's the crucial difference between today and then.
@@grannyannie2948 But were they reading newspapers from morning til bedtime?
@@LegoGirl1990 No, perhaps a novel LoL. But really how much time did people have to interact with babies either? I have known many women who were housewives in the 1950s. They did not have electricity. They did the washing on a washboard, including the babies nappies (diapers) They milked the cow and made the butter. They grew the kitchen vegetables and tended the chickens.
Then there was the housework and every meal cooked from scratch. Every bit of hot water needed to be heated on a wood fired stove that needed tending. Most of these tasks could be interrupted to breast feed a baby or tend to an older child's skinned knee. But how much time could they focus on where the baby was looking? Maybe it was enough that baby could watch her.
I feel the same frustrating conundrum! My brother in law and his wife have a 1 year old and an infant, and they are just NOT interested in spending much time with them. Particularly the mother. I love them, they're family, but it hurts to see them just leave either baby in a play pen with the TV on for _hours_ so that they can be on their phone or do what they want. I hate seeing it, but I dont' know them well _enough_ to feel comfortable saying anything.
Gift them with a book on parenting that includes data on this. Glow Kids is a great one.
This was such a great and informative piece. I am a soon to be mom of 5. 2 are school aged and have been in school. I would love to homeschool but it’s so nerve wracking thinking I could fail the other 3 in their education. I adore the idea of having groups of prenatal and postpartum women getting together. I wish that was in every community. Thank you both for this. Tammy you are amazing and so sweet.
Sorry but I no longer judge parents on their phones while out with their kid in the stroller. It's such a small snapshot into this caregiver's life. I would be engaged with my baby all day at home but for me a stroller walk is literally the only time in the day I get some me-time by listening to podcasts like this.
Most people these days shamming parents for a lot of things. They think mom need to stay with children 100% to serve/entertain/care as if mom is not a person. 95% of the thing I do are for my son. I often think I’m a slave and there will be someone say I’m not doing enough. Parents should always try their best to raise their kids the best way they could and ignore other people opinions. These podcasts is meant for education and not treat it as a definition being parents
American raising kids in Germany here. I am a teacher in a traditional school, but my background is Montessori education (mixed ages, child interest driven). I hear what you are saying and can see value in it, however I also think it has a very real potential of widening the gap between kids who truly benefit from what you propose and those for whom it would not work out well for. We have been so disconnected from the concept of being raised in a family (not just both parents, but multiple siblings, grandparents, cousins, etc.) that i am afraid the socialization a child would get would be insufficient. This combined with the adults who are around being so highly distracted themselves (phones/work/listlessness from exhaustion), that i could see this really backfiring. You would have to first get people on board with the concept of alloparenting and get them to redirect their concentration to their child and other people. Then you would have to reeducate them about how to engage with others, communicate effectively and THEN a little bit about how to go about homeschooling effectively. That's a daunting task. I could see this done in stages, but i think it would take a few generations and you would really have to have a hybrid model. It's an extremely complex issue.
It’s really not that complex there are plenty of American families that have homeschooled successfully. Parents that worry about socialization put their kids in extra curricular activities (co ops, sports, hybrid schools are an option too)where they interact with other children for a healthy amount of hours a day instead of being gone for 7-8 hours a day which is just a ridiculous amount of time for your child to spend with so many strangers every day which btw includes the teacher who you only meet with 2-3 times before dropping your child off for the first day of school.
@@MrsHousemaam I think on an individual, small scale, that is exactly right and I know of plenty of homeschooling success stories, so I agree with you there. I am talking about on a society-wide scale. Because we would want all children who will grow up to be part of society to have the optimal option, right? Then it gets complicated.
@@jessicaheckner7035 I see where you’re coming from but I believe if parents were incentivized to homeschool and supported by the community and government then more parents would do it and public school would solely be an option for children in need who come from broken homes/single parent households. I’m pretty sure teachers would also be grateful to not have overcrowded classrooms anymore.
Great podcast ladies, hope new families live your prayers for strong healthy guidance in our human perseverance of growth wholeness of our children 🙏🏽🎶♥️
Thank you, and God bless you always.
Thank you very much ❤️🔥 may God bless you and your lovelies 🕊️
People(!) are by far the most important and valuable resource a country has. And the first three years of life are by far the most important stage in the ultimate development of that infant. So rethink and invest wisely. And think far beyond money.
Florida has PEP and gives money to homeschool kids for educational needs!
Thanks to Ron Desantis!
That's so awesome!
I agree. Children are using cell phones way too much.
I'm Australian and I live across the road from a small RC school. I have never seen even a teenager on a smart phone after school. My own gkids are 4-12, and have never been on social media. They play computer games and do research on computers and that's it.
Appreciate this podcast:-) your both doing incredible work.
This is so important, as all of your vids!
Florida gives us the state money per child to make your personal family choice for each child. We choose to home school others choose private school and some do hybrid choices.
Utah is doing it!
I absolutely am 100% with you. However, i have been also in many homeschool groups of moms and a lot goes on undetected. Moms that are extremely controlling thrive in controlling their homeschool kids and this doesnt play well for the child in the long run. Anxious mothers, mother with PD seem to be so into long term home schooling at it seems to me that is not all for the good of the child but for the mother to sooth herself and all she needs to face head on rather than keep her kids tighten to her dysfunctional selves? what or how can this be done for the benefit of the mother and the child?
When mothers use their children to soothe their insecurities and fears it is felt and not healthy for the child, no matter if they are homeschooled or not. And yes, I have noticed the same thing in the moms I know who homeschool etc. It is generally an extension of their anxiety and a means to shelter or control. Of course this is not 100% of the time but it is from what I’ve observed. I don’t live in an area with these values typically though. In my opinion we focus way too much on the external decisions parents make and not the level of health and consciousness that is behind them. It’s especially aimed at mothers which is also sad. Dads don’t get this type of societal pressure or judgement.
@@jordanc12333 I agree with you 100% but I thing the equivalent of that for the dads is pressure to provide.
@@almaosmeni-olaveson1444 I agree! But they dont have conflicting advice from all corners of the internet on how to do that lol. I don’t see podcasts and IG accounts telling Dads the right way to provide and shaming the different paths to do so. Just my opinion 🤷🏻♀️
@@jordanc12333 that is very true! I think they do that bc they have figured it out how we work. Women brain and women emotions. So if we learn how we work ourselves then we take the power back and we can smell it a mile away what this accounts are doing to us and we unfollow them.
@@almaosmeni-olaveson1444 100% yes to this
In the UK we've had a school starting age of 4 for decades. Now fhe whole culture doesn't believe parents are the best at raising children and different parties across the political spectrum all declare that "school is the best place for children". We home educate, and everyone asks us how we will socialise our children, as if the only place children see other children is at school. I actually think that is increasingly true as we stop children playing outside with concerns about their safety, despite the rate of child abduction being very small and hardly changed for decades.
53:54 The problem with giving the money that would’ve been spent on the child in public school to the family is that the government will then regulate what the parent can buy for curriculum, etc. Makes sense since the taxpayers are footing the bill! But that is why many homeschoolers do not want vouchers. We appreciate the freedom to educate without government involvement or “help.”
In Ontario, full day kindergarten starts at four, though some have yet to turn four when they start. They are at school from 9-3:30. I’ve taught classes with 29 kids in kindergarten, with only one other adult in the room. It’s been an utter disaster since it started to the point where very few teachers want to teach kindergarten.
29 kindergarteners is insane!
@@CJ2023Incognito I know. It’s been highly stressful.
I often hear “my child needs socialization, they need to learn social skills.” My comment is, children will not learn healthy social skills from other child, they learn social skills from their parents. Think lord of the flies.
I am stealing this ty
Half an hour in. The people - at least in the U.S. - making these decisions do not care about children.
No they care about growth of government and breaking the family. It’s one of the core tenets of communism.
We have been lucky enough to be around family for our childrens youth and have family members watch them growing. The thing about daycare and schooling for children in the us, i am very much against sending children who cannot speak yet to school. It is a thing ofcourse people live their lives differently. But sending a child who cannot speak into the world that is chaotic and meant for a child to be able to regulage themselves when choices and desicions arise yet they are unaware of any of that at such a young age. We have children as young as 10 commiting crimes and killing. 1 to 5 is a very short time frame we have to help build our childrens morality. Help them build a founadion of confidence in themselves and all the pillars they need for their foundation mentally. They enter into school, which does not teach them to be healthy in their daily lives. The entire setup leading into high school does not help children. Too many are lost inside and do not understand where they stand within family. Within community, within the world. It is not taught. Children learn through play, we play with children and they learn how to play with eachother and instead of sitting at a desk, children can learn almost anything anywhere with playing a consistent type of game. It is unfortunate that we have syraued from rhe values of wanting to raise adults who are self aware, who have competence, who want to build and raise their community and themselves to be better. People do not have that anymore. The fruits of all these years of schooling has shown with the rise of internet and social media, brain rot. It is going full circle now. Lets see what the future of education will bring, this will be a revolution within the education system and within the home and family unite.
Lots of countries in Europe have banned home schooling.
In the UK you can not take your children out of school for a trip, even an educational one, without a fine.
Good information. I remember President pushing early childhood education at age 3. Too many parents fell for the e lie. SMH
In South Africa, the president is about to sign a basic education law bill to make Grade R (the year before formal schooling, which is ages 6 to 16 years) compulsory, forcing children as young as 4 into compulosry schooling.
It is at the same time wanting to make it very difficult for parents to homeschool.
They also want to take away the rights of schools to determine the languages of teaching and learning. Without any real care for thr young child or respecting their natural development and what is good for them 😢
It is all crazy times we find ourselves in. Parents are so sucked into the schooling system that many don't even realise the threats to their parental rights.
“Wealthy” families may be better off financially, because the parents have to be focused on income generation rather than the children.
I'm currently 12 weeks pregnant and really struggling with the idea of putting my baby girl in daycare and returning to work. It feels so wrong but as it stands my insurance is much better and cheaper (like half as much) as my husband's insurance. It would be really hard if I stay home but I just don't know if I can do it.
33:59 they need to have workout classes for pre- and postpartum
I always stressed the importance of being there for your young child when I taught Kindergarten. The 4 stages of development, long established by Jean Piaget: 1. Sensory-Motor (birth - 2) 2. Pre-Operational (3-6), 3. Concrete Operational (7-11), 4. Formal Operational (11-14). At no time in these stages does "trans, born in wrong body" make sense. Never did, never will.
I’m’na really like this. I just know it.
While all the ideas about smartphones and parents working and children in schools is not rocket science, the real conversation about child development is poverty. I find the people who do research and come up with ideas are the people who have adequate incomes, live in their own homes, come from middle class lives as children and now speak about all the wrongs in the life of children…. As long as families live in poverty the outcomes for society are sadly declining , the over all health physically, as well as mentally, creates a person who cannot function at the highest level possible,…. So no matter what. Poverty is the centre of the issues.
Very good intervention, only disagree on the critics against swedish laws.in these official public schools there are
professionals wirh verified degrees built by centuries of pedagogical methods and suppoerted by childhood psychologists who are surely more competent than the average of the parents who simple have different competeces. So surely not at an early age, but at least from 6 years old the good verified schooling is actually the way for our children's growth and this is right to be a government concern. By the way paid though taxes and not privately.
I am referring to unconscious mothering. Women that cannot turn their eyes inward.
The bit at the end about adults losing jobs if the education industrial complex were reduced:
We need school bus drivers because our mass transit stinks, drivers and money could be diverted there. Teachers would still be in demand in smaller schools, co ops, as tutors, etc. I’d bet this is only actually zero sum for the politicians and administration which is severely bloated.
Boris, one of my cats, will consistently bat my phone with his paw or even chew it if I'm ignoring him 😂 He hates it!
52:52 Desantis is doing this in FL.
Bring back mothercraft!
Thank you for bringing this into the public space. Parents (specifically MOTHERS) NEED to be home with their children, for at least the first 6 years. Then preferably home schooling until the federal monopoly on “education” gets disbanded and we place schools back in local communities again.
Kellogg? Can they stay out of our lives?
This guest’s stutter made this video difficult to listen to
Get to the point lady
I like the content but she is not the best presenter. It may be helpful for her organization to hire someone who can speak without so many fillers and stutters. She seemed unprepared and surprised by questions.
"...There's nothing that is more detrimental to a baby than having a depressed mother" ... So am I just supposed to kms or what?
That idea tormented me more than it should have. Children are resilient and if I were to say something so inflexible such as “there is nothing worst for children than a depressed parent” I would say there is nothing worst for children than parents who give up. My children grew up with a depressed mother who taught them the value of prayers, how to take care of their own mental health, the value of compassion toward themselves and others, and most importantly, they know they should not give up. Depression is a monster you shouldn’t have to fight alone. Seek help, keep praying. 🙏
@@vannemontes2712fair enough to all of that except stating that kids are resilient. No. They aren’t. That’s kind of the whole point of this podcast is that children are very emotionally vulnerable and that their environment in their early years impacts the trajectory of their entire lives.
@@vannemontes2712 When I'm in any sort of decent frame of mind, I know my kids need me. And I've seen videos and heard stories of children left behind after a parent dies (whether or not by their own hand).
But that comment certainly plays on the part of one's brain that says loved ones would be better without you.
I'm only just starting to slip back in, so hopefully my youngest will be done nursing before it gets too bad again. (I'd like to hold off on going back on meds until she weans.)
Young poor women can just say NO! Don’t have kids, if you can’t afford them!