i once heard someone say “ppl aren’t thinking of that embarrassing thing u did. everyone is too busy thinking of the embarrassing things they did.” and ever since then, everytime i do smth embarrassing, i tell myself that and i kinda feel better:D
I actually thought like this too even in real embarassing moments, and like 3 years after i just realize it was actually embarassing and keep thinking about it lmao
Same with me, in my geography class I sit next to this boy and my crush sits behind him and I'm just silent for the whole lesson cause there's no one to talk to, and I can't start a conversation. And even teachers ask me a question I panick and just mummble and everyone starts taking about me, everyone knows I'm the shy Lonley girl, but at home I'm like a boss I'm so load and crazy, I'm a different person at home and a different person at school. I wish I could fit in, #shy Squad
Ikr i just say "i talk i just dont talk to you" and most of the time they stand there in silence and being awkward. Im working on being more confident. Being social was really hard and is still hard for me, but you got this and i believe you can overcome this💛
Since I'm being told that a lot especially by people who don't know me that well I can tell you that it's a pretty good set-up for you to say something funny to keep the conversation going so I really haven't had a problem with that you can try it
I know every time I’m with my mom if I do anything like say something a little bit quiet and a person goes say that again, my mom will go sorry he’s shy. And that messes with my head so much and then I feel even more self conscious about it.
istoleyachristmascookies yes,just because I don’t talk to you doesn’t mean I don’t talk,like you feel more comfortable talking around other people than the rest
What really chokes me up is when I'm in a social situation and I feel like I'm doing really well... And then somebody calls me out for being 'too quiet.' I almost never recover from that.
Well everyone has their own opinion. and that shouldnt limit what you feel about yourself, you are bold confident and strong even in your silence. Never try to be like anyone else be you and improve on being the best of you.
What I do is make a joke around it.However way someone calls you out for being quiet, everyone’s attention diverts towards you. So take the opportunity to be funny, have a laugh about it.
I had to learn to throw wit at those kind of comments. Sometimes, depending on who said it, I would say I was absorbing all the information everyone revealing about themselves for future use and then give an arched eyebrow and an evil grin. Later when I became more confident and loud people would comment when I went quiet asking if I was okay, "yeah, I'm just being quiet to freak ya'll out." Again depended on the person who makes these comments, friends who KNOW you know it's anything they need to bring to your attention, people that mostly say these thing are saying that THEY are uncomfortable with your quietness and that's THEIR problem, not yours.
I am greatly confident with shy people. So greatly. But with confident people I shrink. What I do is I imagine anyone I am socialising with is shy. Therefore I'll feel the need to listen to them and help them feel accepted. After all, everyone fears to be judged. It's not only you, it could be the person you are planning to approach themselves.
I Thought I was the only one Lol, Tbh a lot of my friends are introverts and I become confident when I'm around them. Lmfao xD I can do a lot of craziness/wildness since they got mah bacccc ~ ^^
Wow, I am the same way. This comment just opened my eyes. I had no idea that others are like that around people too. I am going to try and convince myself to get into this mindset. Thank you.
How I overcame shyness. 1) No one cares if you're cool or uncool. They got themselves to care for. 2) Everyone is anxious about something and that gave me a major relief about mine. 3) Just talk your mind out. it's a burden if you didn't.
It's actually amazing to find someone on TH-cam giving advice that doesn't feel like they're talking out of their ass and really makes you feel like you're walking away with useful information.
Tom!? Agreed. I can't tell you the amount of vacuous crap found in many educational/instructional/motivational youtube channels. Stuff like: "Tip #1: Greet people with a smile." Charisma On Demand will sometimes tell you the obvious but will also put it into context and explore the subject with more depth. I appreaciate that it analyses the mindsets behind these issues of shyness, lack of confidence and self esteem. Great channel.
coltonw83 jr. Problem with Alpha M is his videos are guaranteed to have huge waffle about sponsors, sometimes you can just tell instantly his videos were made just for his newest product plug.
I hate it when you hangout with a group of people you know but aren't really close with, and you try to join in their conversation, but you can't relate to anything they're talking about. 😔
Your end sentence is very relatable but I never hang out with a group of people . I’m around one in my bus and at school but it’s not like they had a choice to invite me
Just because you don't know how to relate, you can try to understand, and that means a lot to others. Especially if owning up to not knowing much about the subject and asking them to teach me more if it's something they enjoy talking about.
Uhh, if you try to look at it logically (probably not what you should do in this situation but I will), If you cannot join in their conversation/ talk to them, because you can't relate to anything they're talking about, that means, if they're talking about something you CAN relate, you will be able to join the conversation/ talk to them Now, how do you make them do that... Bring up the topics you relate to yourself? idk I mean, if they're hanging out with you, that must mean they should be willing to talk to you about stuff you talk about? Ugh, the fact that you aren't really close with them is making this difficult!
The more people who call me shy or ‘quiet’ the more I act that way. It’s really annoying cause I can’t control it. Like when I finally open up to someone and am talking, if they suddenly mention that I am talking for once and not quiet I will close up again. People always say to me -Omg you’re taking for once -The quiet girl is talking!! -wow you actually have a voice!! UGH I NEED HELP
Isabella Bedford same here I really don’t like the attention, every time I end up actually talking to someone, someone else would be like He’s actually talking
Exactly guys. I used to get people do that to me all the time. Just forget about all the people that you 'think' are judging you. It's all in your head, they perobably have better things to do lol. That's how I stopped feeling bad when people did it. On the other hand, it's not their intention to actually make you feel bad. They are probably just judgemental and ignorant. They probably judge so much that they are immune and don't realise that what they are doing is bad.
Wronggggg,. the comments will make you feel okay at being shy and awkward. And if your seeing this video, I don’t think that’s what you want. You can Try this, whenever you see a comment you can maybe relate to, say to yourself I can no longer relate to this comment and then don’t like the comment at all and process what just happened😌I hope this help
I have a tip. Just don’t care what anyone thinks. When you have a thought in your head, don’t replay it over and over to make sure it’s perfect, just say it. Also, if you want to make a friend, just go for it. Who cares what they say? Who cares what they think? It’s your life. Gain confidence
When someone talks to me and I don’t have anything to say or relate to, so I just awkwardly laugh quietly and just stand there. Also when someone laughs behind me I always expects them to laugh at me.
i get like that too but what you have to realize is that everyone else feels like everyone is watching them too. everyone is so focused on themselves and their friends and their problems that they’re probably hardly noticing you. if they are noticing you, it’s most likely for a good reason. like when i notice someone it’s almost always because i like something about their appearance or outfit or whatever. they’re not laughing at you, believe me
Savannah Marshmallow i’m even more shy in social situations than on stage. Like stage is the only place i get lose. It’s just that too crowded places drain my energy. And many of my friends are so comfortable in big crowds while i love to party and dance i feel the best in a less crowded area of the club yet they want to be in the Center and it drains me...in less crowded places i am still shy but i feel more comfortable...I’m a performer though
I wasn't shy when I was younger... but all the sudden I kinda just shut myself out. Sure I'm going through that middle school time where you feel kinda insecure, but it seems worst for me. I'm basically one of the quietest people in my grade, and that has some benefits, I don't get in trouble, but my range of friends is kinda small. There's a somewhat odd group of people that I'm kinda just nice to, but when I sit with them because they seem lonely, I act like an idiot for a hour before I tell myself, calm down.
Drew Stephenson OMG SAME. I’m just so shy. It’s hard for me to open up to anyone anymore. And the people I hang around aren’t the people I really want to hangout with. I just hang with them because I don’t want to be alone at school. Idk what happened to me. I stress because of the fact I can’t even be myself anymore💔
So, my friends dared me to introduce myself to someone randomly on the street (because I'm really socially awkward) so I walked up to this girl and said, "Hey, I've never met you, you're really pretty, I'm shy, and my friends dared me to do this. Can I get your name?" Now we're friends, and I don't know how to end this comment.
raggex X good luck! definitely can be hard to make friends if your not used to doing so. biggest part is the continuous effort to get out of whatever is holding you back, and getting out of the comfort zone into what is actually going to help you progress
It used to bother me a lot when people say, “are you always this quiet?” or when I’m thinking I’ve been talking a lot or loud, and people say, “you are so quiet.” I’ve gotten over it. I once had a boss tell me, I need to stop being so quiet and speak up if I want to get somewhere in life. Well I’m a nurse, and my patients love me. I also have a wonderful husband and three beautiful kids. I get most of my thoughts out on my channel or through some type of social media or writing.
Somebody that took some acting classes for a while said this "Our acting coach there would make us act 1 by 1 and ask us what the person's mistakes were. Everyone would say a few different mistakes. Like how they talked quite or something. And the coach would say 'there were like a 100 mistakes there. But you only noticed a few of them because you have those mistakes too" I don't know if it's true cause I actually talk pretty loud even though I'm shy but I notice when they are talking quiet
I had to act in front of my school. Most of the people were fine with it, and I was fine with it. I was expecting to get a small roll or just be a background character... but I got the lead role for some reason. I’m fine with speaking in front of people, doing speeches, things like that, but I’ve never had an important lead role. I was nervous and I literally couldn’t think that I could do it. Skip to the day of the play, I was backstage. I ran up to one of my classmates and told them that I couldn’t do it. I broke down and I got nervous. My friend told me that all I had to do was be myself and make people laugh. I couldn’t back out at the moment, so I just got on stage. Hundreds of eyes were on me, but I kept going. I said the first line... and then people laughed. I liked that my comedy and acting was making them laugh, so I kept going. Now I’m in drama club and a theater geek. I’ve been in so many plays and met so many people. Just take a chance! No matter if you’re scared or not. I took a chance and it changed my life. You should too!
I think you are missing the point...you're supposed to let yourself feel shy. So you will feel really bad for 30 seconds, because you're nervous and you have to let your body process the shyness. Once you do that, you'll naturally just feel better because you know it can't get any worse.
BAngelZ 09 But you see, that doesn’t just help everyone. That comment can help people that are quite new to this, but resolutions don’t just happen as easy as this. For example, me.
interesting points ,if anyone else wants to discover best cure for shy bladder try Sovallo Bladder Shy Fixer ( search on google ) ? Ive heard some incredible things about it and my m8 got cool results with it.
humudu oh hey, you might wanna try to keep an attentive face (just keep your eyes on the person speaking even as your brain blanks out, nod a bit when the person pauses to take a breathe). like charlie says, to the degree that you can. there are certainly a lot of places where you still have to be uptight, esp work meetings. however if you can tweak and see how much you can get away with, then you can slowly adjust to the lowest level of energy state in the work meeting without getting 'caught' and use it as a reset time. or even easier is to take a toilet break and use the time to reset a bit.
Some advice for people who get nervous in social situations: stop thinking about yourself as somebody who gets nervous in social situations. When you’re talking to someone, don’t think “oh god, I’m talking to someone right now, time to panic” instead, just take a deep breath, calm yourself. The other person really doesn’t care as much as you think they do, and I bet they’re feeling self conscious too. Instead, tell yourself that you’re confident and relaxed. Become interested in what the other person is saying. Focus outward, stop trying to see yourself from the other persons eyes. Ask questions, make remarks. If you’re relaxed, questions will automatically pop into your head.
we spend like 5 years learning about the pythagorean theorem in school when we could actually be learning useful things like this !!! i am the definition of shy. I really needed this video. Thank you
oh my goodness same.. thing is im into learning languages and this is sooo much more amplified when you struggle even being able to say simple thoughts. sometimes i just shut down and dont hardly say anything. i dont like it because it can affect others negatively, but i dont know of much else i can do
So? Listen to what other people talk about. I guarantee the conversations these people have are FAR dumber and more unimportant than the thoughts you have in your head.
shyness is a quality that implies a divergent way of being that is undervalued & stigmatized for non-neutral, motivated reasons, ("everyone should be and act in the world in the same ways"), and the impulse to "kill" it is quite alarming, because it suggests shy people should... not exist? SHY PEOPLE ARE VALID AND VALUABLE. I want a video from a shy person teaching loud people to be more shy or self aware. Loud people are often grotesque to those of us with higher sensitivity.
how to eliminate shyness for guys. 1. Tell yourself "I'm not a bitch" and go for it. Sounds simple but it works. The harder decisions in life are normally the more beneficial ones. It's easy to be lazy, easy to fantasize about what you could/would do. Harder to take action and risk failure/rejection. It is the worst to let yourself down. That's probably one thing that leads to mid life crisis is you look back like "i should of/could of done this." Fuck all that, just go for it. You will feel proud of yourself. Hope this comment helps at least one person.
+anythingnew If you're interested in shallow women - which you must be, else you'd have had more exposure generally - maybe you need to rethink things a bit.
I don't want to small talk with people I don't know, without sounding rude, some times I just don't care enough to talk to some people, I'm quite a lot of the time, and only talk when it's about something i have good input about, I don't believe in just talking for the sake of it, but when I do talk about things, it's really coming from somewhere of truth and something I have really thought about and has meaning and that way I'm really being me, not just talking because socially I feel like I should, but this is just how I feel, but as you said in the video, i think for people that want to be more open.
Same. Many have said to me that, when I speak, everyone feels like that my opinion means serious business just because I won't flap my mouth around all the time like a lot of people.
Maybe some of us experienced being bullied that's why we don't have confidence and we always hide . Being shy or socially awkward sometimes misinterpret other people , some see you as arrogant , shy or mad.
aziz adventures Sounds incredibly emotionally effective however; compellingly psychotic. Cant see prolonged success outside of the truly mental. Perhaps understanding exactly what you mean is enuf to classify me as mental AF but that actually makes sense
If people give a one worded response, ask questions that either draw them out or require them to elaborate. Do you remember the names on any of them? Oh great, could you tell me about the story? What was your favorite part, or what did you like about it? And then you could proceed to give your thoughts based on their responses. Or give the answer to your own question whether they ask you or not.
Thank You Mate I don’t have social anxiety sometimes I shake when I’m scared or freaked out or can’t breathe or feel like I can’t. And I’m learning how to be more social I’m really trying I know it’s not anxiety It’s just me. This helped a lot.
Melody York Not certain about the points made but ,if anyone else wants to uncover shyness treatment try Renkarter Anxiety Method Report ( search on google ) ? Ive heard some super things about it and my mate got excellent results with it.
when someone says that I’m shy and why im so quiet I became more shy and quiet . Im really trying to hard to be not one. I often cry because of my shyness , its really depressing... i dont know what to do in my life anymore its really hard.
So I am a shy, timid person and I don’t talk much. I also talk low so people would say “Can you speak up?”, “Talk louder I can’t hear you”, etc. My dad told me to stop being so timid and to be confident. Like... it’s not my fault I was born like this! It’s not my fault that I was autistic and couldn’t speak! I didn’t ask to have speech classes since I was 2! This is how I am and I feel like I’m being punished for it. Well they want me to not be timid... Imma show them what happens when I’m NOT timid...
The problem for me is that I actually don't have anything to say .... I blank out or just stay silent.. like.. what should I say??, how do I maintain conversations.. I usually have really short conversations with strangers because I don't know what to ask ... this is a problem for because I want to do nursing as a career and *communication* is the one of the *MOST ESSENTIAL SKILLS* for this course 😢😭.. I Overthink a lot too which is soooooooo bad 😢
ONCE FOREVER Twiceuu Just show interest towards the other person once you initiate the conversation,show interest to what they say. The other person will keep it going. Only hope it wont bore you though, so be sure you have genuine interests or maybe just practice it till it becomes your second nature. People like to talk about themselves after all.
@@g.j But I try to talk with another introvert. It doesn't work because she doesn't talk, she's introvert or really shy idk but I can't speak with her because she just want to listen and I don't have anything to say
I never liked the word "Charisma", so the name of the Channel made me feel kind of skeptical. After watching some of the videos I can see how much helpful they are. I rarely suscribe to the Channels and quite seldom a video seems to deserve LIKE. But the channel deserves approbation. :)
There are motivational channels that give tips, tricks, and steps on how to change bits and pieces of your life but all of them explain things very vaguely, this guy makes it clear and logical. I subscribed today.
I don’t understand myself, how do I know almost everybody in my school and everybody know me but I can’t even learn how to be social and maintain these relationships 😭😭 I just feel so out of place
You feel out of place. The solution? Actually be out of place. If you feel even more out of place, go somewhere else. If you feel in place, congratulations.
I have a tip. Just don’t care what anyone thinks. When you have a thought in your head, don’t replay it over and over to make sure it’s perfect, just say it. Also, if you want to make a friend, just go for it. Who cares what they say? Who cares what they think? It’s your life. Gain confidence
Min Yoongi I knowww but when I do say I’m not going to replay that thought again it eventually keeps popping up in my head and it’s just so hard to talk to the people I really wanna be friends with.🙁
weckar Remember: Everybody poops. Everyone is normal. Nobody is on a pedestal. I found this really helpful when whenever I struggle a lot with my social anxiety. It's never going to be easy, but it can be easier just to tell people you're around a lot "Hello". Just start with that. If you have social anxiety it'll make your heart pound a lot, also remember: Nervous and excited are the same emotion.
Samantha Peterson True. It's psychology. What you mentioned doing gradually reprograms your subconscious mind throughout time to adapt. Fear like excitment is a energy and if not controlled or handled properly will act out in your subconscious mind as a weakness causing insecurity lack of eye contact awkward gestures. That is your brain going into survival mode due to the lack of social contact.
I’m not the slightest bit shy when I’m around my friends. In fact I’m the most confident in the friend group. But when I’m not around my friends, my social skills fall apart
I'm extremely introvert but I think I got to a successful enough way of networking and meet people. The point is, you don't have to necessarily say much. People are super duper intrigued by people who can actively listen. You don't have to really storytell or anything. Just introduce yourself, and then ask a question. And not an "how are you doing?" one, but actually some that may interest them. Ask about something you are passionate about, and that leaves to the other part the chance of an open answer. You can ask about their favourite kind of music, if they've ever tasted that dish, if they know somewhere to go eat or stuff like that. Y/N questions are conversation killers, but if you are able to find a common ground it'll make things way easier. What also helps a lot is to go to events that revolve around a topic. For example, I'm a huge nerd and I know quite a lot about the indie gaming industry and community. I thrive in that kinda situation where I can ask about a certain controversial topic, network gathering opinions, etc etc. To talk about business or to ask people out there's always time, but if you need a good impression or simply want to enjoy your time, things will be soo easier if you find a common ground and try to move to deeper levels. Also, people will appreciate that more. Many just meet and chat about what they do, but what's really important is to get someone to talk about what they love doing, or open up about a concern, or something else. Sometimes I believe I don't find anything to say not because I'm just shy, but because what's being said is not really of interest to me, so I try to actively drift the conversation to something different, or limit myself to listening to what they have to say, or even better explain politely I don't know anything about the topic they may be talking about, but tell them I'd love to know more and if they can explain me that.
It works wonders every single time but be aware, in office or professional situations alcohol is quite hard to mask and can easily backfire real quick.... Don't ask me how do I know ...LOL
The job I wanna do kind of needs me to present once or twice a week.. Actually I used to extroverted when I was younger but then my parents taught me in ways where they completely shattered my confidence, now I’m 16 and I realize the problem which is confidence so I’m working on it. This is why I want people to know that it’s not them, or their parents, it’s the ways they were raised. Edit: pretty much what most people need is a boost of confidence. When presenting or speaking to someone and you feel shy, you may not realize it but you feel smaller than that person you’re talking to. This is why you have to tell yourself that you are the best and nobody is better than you. I did that during a presentation and it actually worked.
thank youu i need this haha i'm so shy especially at school. i always watch the people that i've been wanting to talk to since like last year and i couldn't get a word out of me to any of them. then eventually two of the people i wanted to talk to graduated at the end of last school year-and i never even got to introduce myself :/ i think i'm gonna try talking to people now, usually i get so close to asking someone a question or saying "hello" but what stops me is: what if they ignore me? what if my voice cracks? what if they don't hear me? what if they don't like me? so then i just contain myself & i don't say a word.. it's just so much more easier to talk to boys than girls. i've had someone ignore me :( and one time my friend tried complimenting this girl on her sweater and she got ignored, it's really discouraging. SO PEOPLE, WHEN SOMEONE TRIES TO TALK TO YOU: DONT IGNORE THEM
moonchild we're same.I'm a shy girl too!Ever sinse I'm elementary and now I am grade 7 I am shy.I cannot talk much.Because other might ignores me.I don't want to be ignored.I always think negative thoughts.I am not participating in school.And When the time i talked,they can't hear me because my voice is too soft. I feel uncomfortable when I am around with many people.Yes,I have a lots of friends,And yes I am lucky to have them,But now I don't know what to do because I am shy to join them. The one thing that can make me proud is to overcome my shyness!
Ur not alone ave been going to a new school for a week and I haven't talked to anyone only this one girl who I keep following n now she thinks I'm weird
When I was a real estate appraiser and I wanted to break the ice with a homeowner, I would ask them about their pets. It was something they were passionate about, without being too personal.
I can vouch for this one! Just moved out to Washington, wayyy better clubs here than back home. Decided I don't want to be a shy introvert anymore. I think back to Charisma on Command, "take up space, maybe make a little noise." So I start going hard all night. Dancing with all my energy, really getting into the music. NOBODY else is too energetic yet (It's the first DJ of the night), dancefloor isn't even half full yet I'm totally into it, and when a song I recognize starts playing, I'm screaming with hype, at this point I figured I was making a bit of a fool of myself But whatever, I'm into this, I'm confident. Too energetic is better than too small. I'm feeding off the energy of the room Within the first 30 minutes, the obvious "popular guy" with all the girls, clearly been here before, probably always in the VIP, comes over and starts to interact with me a bit Now we're both going hard, his friends follow, Now we're a circle of people all dancing together, having a good time. Dancefloor is filling up quick. We all exchange snapchats by the end of the night. Success.
I have a question: For some reason I have a problem with making eye contact, I will be having a conversation and it's all good when suddenly I completely freak out about when and how to make eye contact, as if I've forgotten how to and what's appropriate and what not. This will distract me from the conversation and I'll want to get out of it as quick as possible. I have ADD so it may have something to do with that, and I also find it happens when I'm talking to men more often than talking to women. Does anyone know how to fix this?
DelRey maybe you need to be more open with the person crack more jokes make more cheeky ones so ull feel more open with him. I used to be like this with another girl I had in class untill I got confident enough to like make some cheeky jokes (sexual or not) and now have no problem talking to her
DelRey np appreciate it if u wanna be cheeky u can look at their nose and they wont notice the difference but be natural so u dont have to think about it 😁.
When I first started in sales I was told to look the person in their right eye to show you are listening. It takes you out of your head trying to figure which one to look at lol. Once you put it in your head that this is the way things should be in conversation it becomes the norm and you don't think about it anymore you just listen.
pro tip: you can watch these videos all you want, but it won't do anything for you if you don't go out and practice what he says. "If you want something you've never had, you'll have to do something you've never done".
Today I applied the stomach rule to calm me down before a speech and the 3 second rule to look at people. It really helped. Started watching your videos a week ago and already starting to notice a positive difference. Thank you!
I'm so shy that I don't even take pictures of myself and post them because Im always thinking what people are gonna think when they see it. Or maybe they see flaws I never saw
i remember i saw this documentary about a guy that took shyness to the next level, like he got to the point where he couldnt even talk to his family. he had this psychologist helping him get over it, and one thing she had him do is walk a banana in public. i felt like i could take something from that, cause most of the time im afraid im gunna make a total fool of myself in social situations. i feel like everytime you do a little screw up, its just enough to keep you fearfull, what you really gotta do is fuck up so bad that afterwards your like, man, i dont think i could do something that bad even if i tried to recreate it, it almost desensitizes you in a way. i mean you could totally go and walk a banana down the street and i think it would help a shy person immensely. idk if i could do that hah, even tho i know it would help me. you know people would be telling the story of the man they saw walking a banana for ages
@@Sindruzzzz you would just become the town oddball who everyone whispers about which will then make you feel like a depressed reject who's only friend is a bruised banana.
Thank you for sharing! I still struggle with social awkwardness and I’m almost 38 years old. Not sure if anyone can relate to this. Most people just go through these struggles in school and trying to discover who they are. But, I’ve always been awkward. Learning to embrace this trait as I get older. I’m assuming eventually I’ll stop giving a shit what others think, lol.
I have anxieties of my own. I scroll and I see every single other person is experiencing the same thing. We’re all here for the same reason. Isn’t it weird how we think it’s such a personal thing but it happens to everyone on a large scale.
My shy friend sent me this video and I’m here to help you. There’s 7 billion people on earth and your worried about like 0.00001% of them. Do better and just realise everyone’s the same.
I imagine that they are dead corpses standing in front of my cold soul. All you have to do is shove a murder list in their faces, and make them regret ever asking or judging about you by burying their dead body when you finally found the perfect time
Because you don't just walk up to them hahaha. You walk up to them after you made eye contact and say something it can be nice or it can be about something you are acting like you are looking for which most likely works best since you can pick anything that you can make fun of or joke about. Doesn't have to be like what he said something you are really looking for. Example: I was a teen when I used to go to the mall just to have a social interaction with a girl. I intentionally had made eye contact but that was Obv. I then walk towards her and she tries to walk around you because I make it look like I was just gonna keep going but instead I move with her and she moves the other way then say hey can I ask you why you keep trying to cut me off? Boom it's pretty easy and always make it silly so it never feels personal and it is light hearted. That allows them to open up. Make sure something you do or say you have no emotions attached to it and that will make you not nervous about it. I always liked to make it a joke out of a normal everyday social interaction I have and she has everyday so they have some sort of connection or emotion attached to it. For instance how I did what I told you I did. Everyone walking in the mall tries to move out the way of each other so she never seen it coming but because she knows that it came from a perspective that has a emotion attached to it. I know this was long winded but explaining the WHY it works is what will make it work.
I am a very quiet person at school but once I am home I am a very talkative person (especially with online friends.) Another thing is that I have no idea what to talk about. I am terrified in public as I always have the mindset of people judging me badly. Recently when I am in public, I have the mindset of "these people are looking at me but who cares what they think of me." Because I have been learning to love myself. I have been working out 3 times a week and honestly, it made me think better. School starts soon again and I think I have reached a new mindset I never thought I would reach.
i once heard someone say “ppl aren’t thinking of that embarrassing thing u did. everyone is too busy thinking of the embarrassing things they did.”
and ever since then, everytime i do smth embarrassing, i tell myself that and i kinda feel better:D
I always care about what other people do and secretly cringe
But it doesnt change anything,you dont have to appeal to everyone
@@castitatis3976 well then you suck!!
Cringe on this 😂😂😂
I actually thought like this too even in real embarassing moments, and like 3 years after i just realize it was actually embarassing and keep thinking about it lmao
@@crzydwrf5876 ahhaha
My problem is more that I don't actually have anything to say....
I relate to this on so many levels like are we the same person.
Same with me, in my geography class I sit next to this boy and my crush sits behind him and I'm just silent for the whole lesson cause there's no one to talk to, and I can't start a conversation. And even teachers ask me a question I panick and just mummble and everyone starts taking about me, everyone knows I'm the shy Lonley girl, but at home I'm like a boss I'm so load and crazy, I'm a different person at home and a different person at school. I wish I could fit in, #shy Squad
SAME
Then dont agree with people opinion all the time I have the same problem
This
It's so annoying when people say, "That's the most I've heard you talk before." I really try so hard to be more social, but I just can't. 😟
Ikr i just say "i talk i just dont talk to you" and most of the time they stand there in silence and being awkward. Im working on being more confident. Being social was really hard and is still hard for me, but you got this and i believe you can overcome this💛
@@frankiemffocean Thank you.
Since I'm being told that a lot especially by people who don't know me that well I can tell you that it's a pretty good set-up for you to say something funny to keep the conversation going so I really haven't had a problem with that you can try it
I know every time I’m with my mom if I do anything like say something a little bit quiet and a person goes say that again, my mom will go sorry he’s shy. And that messes with my head so much and then I feel even more self conscious about it.
istoleyachristmascookies yes,just because I don’t talk to you doesn’t mean I don’t talk,like you feel more comfortable talking around other people than the rest
What really chokes me up is when I'm in a social situation and I feel like I'm doing really well... And then somebody calls me out for being 'too quiet.' I almost never recover from that.
I feel you...
Well everyone has their own opinion. and that shouldnt limit what you feel about yourself, you are bold confident and strong even in your silence. Never try to be like anyone else be you and improve on being the best of you.
ur putting there opinion about u on a pedestal think about how much u value other over urslef
What I do is make a joke around it.However way someone calls you out for being quiet, everyone’s attention diverts towards you. So take the opportunity to be funny, have a laugh about it.
I had to learn to throw wit at those kind of comments.
Sometimes, depending on who said it, I would say I was absorbing all the information everyone revealing about themselves for future use and then give an arched eyebrow and an evil grin.
Later when I became more confident and loud people would comment when I went quiet asking if I was okay, "yeah, I'm just being quiet to freak ya'll out."
Again depended on the person who makes these comments, friends who KNOW you know it's anything they need to bring to your attention, people that mostly say these thing are saying that THEY are uncomfortable with your quietness and that's THEIR problem, not yours.
I wish I was as socially confident as my dog.
@@jlinus7251 😂😂😂😂😂😂
@@jlinus7251 😂😂😂😂
Take some actions bro no one said you can't be socially confident!
Lol if that was your opener to me irl, I'd be your friend lol.
Scarlot Raven 😁
I am greatly confident with shy people. So greatly. But with confident people I shrink.
What I do is I imagine anyone I am socialising with is shy. Therefore I'll feel the need to listen to them and help them feel accepted. After all, everyone fears to be judged. It's not only you, it could be the person you are planning to approach themselves.
Woahh, I always have the exact same issue, thanks for the tip!
I Thought I was the only one Lol, Tbh a lot of my friends are introverts and I become confident when I'm around them. Lmfao xD
I can do a lot of craziness/wildness since they got mah bacccc ~ ^^
I’m the opposite. When ppl are talkative, it causes me to become talkative
Wow, I am the same way. This comment just opened my eyes. I had no idea that others are like that around people too. I am going to try and convince myself to get into this mindset. Thank you.
Oh good I relate to that in a whole other level,also if there is a group of 4 people I stress easily because I’m quiet.
I talked to a stranger yesterday while in the elevator. No kidding i feel really proud about that. Slowly but surely cracking that shell!!😁
If that would be me I would pass out on that elevator
BWN - Great that you felt some sort of progress, but, please, be careful . . . .
@@enniswhalen2428 THAS IMPORTANT
social anxiety club : we are proud of you
@@enniswhalen2428 what do you mean? Like seriously I'm interested
Confidence is literally a mindset that you can force
Hey
Heeyyyyy~
Heyyyyyyy~
Heeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
How I overcame shyness.
1) No one cares if you're cool or uncool. They got themselves to care for.
2) Everyone is anxious about something and that gave me a major relief about mine.
3) Just talk your mind out. it's a burden if you didn't.
8) Bip boppity oodele goo.
9) Hakuna Matata
+Alexander Delarge 12) People who care about who's gay or not are probably gay themselves.
lol you say that like being gay is bad
don't trigger people
+SeagullG don't be so negative about your sexuality man.
It's actually amazing to find someone on TH-cam giving advice that doesn't feel like they're talking out of their ass and really makes you feel like you're walking away with useful information.
Appreciate that!
Tom!? Agreed. I can't tell you the amount of vacuous crap found in many educational/instructional/motivational youtube channels. Stuff like: "Tip #1: Greet people with a smile." Charisma On Demand will sometimes tell you the obvious but will also put it into context and explore the subject with more depth. I appreaciate that it analyses the mindsets behind these issues of shyness, lack of confidence and self esteem. Great channel.
Tom!? ,search alpha m, 👊
Tom!? Is that you Tom!? omg!
coltonw83 jr. Problem with Alpha M is his videos are guaranteed to have huge waffle about sponsors, sometimes you can just tell instantly his videos were made just for his newest product plug.
I can't even poop when someone standing outside my bathroom door
DR. oxygen TeXseng I can’t even go toilet when someone is at my house, or I’m at someone’s house , I get so shy I just wait till they leave
OMG ME TOO😂😂😂😂😂😂😭😭😭
SAMEEEEEW
DR. oxygen TeXseng , i relate so much
OMG SAMMEEE😂
I hate it when you hangout with a group of people you know but aren't really close with, and you try to join in their conversation, but you can't relate to anything they're talking about. 😔
Your end sentence is very relatable but I never hang out with a group of people . I’m around one in my bus and at school but it’s not like they had a choice to invite me
Just because you don't know how to relate, you can try to understand, and that means a lot to others. Especially if owning up to not knowing much about the subject and asking them to teach me more if it's something they enjoy talking about.
Uhh, if you try to look at it logically (probably not what you should do in this situation but I will), If you cannot join in their conversation/ talk to them, because you can't relate to anything they're talking about, that means, if they're talking about something you CAN relate, you will be able to join the conversation/ talk to them
Now, how do you make them do that... Bring up the topics you relate to yourself? idk
I mean, if they're hanging out with you, that must mean they should be willing to talk to you about stuff you talk about? Ugh, the fact that you aren't really close with them is making this difficult!
If they're laughing at something, ask them to tell you that story and they'll be happy to tell you because they also want to laugh.
@@adamwyatt1902 Why would I want to be "taught more" about pregnancy or nails?
this is how i defeated shyness: life is short
Expose Child that is effective
life is too short for memes
Nothing is too short for memes....
except for your "business"
(p*enis, if you wondered...)
Expose Child yeah, and the quote "you only live once" xD
The more people who call me shy or ‘quiet’ the more I act that way. It’s really annoying cause I can’t control it. Like when I finally open up to someone and am talking, if they suddenly mention that I am talking for once and not quiet I will close up again.
People always say to me
-Omg you’re taking for once
-The quiet girl is talking!!
-wow you actually have a voice!!
UGH I NEED HELP
Isabella Bedford same here I really don’t like the attention, every time I end up actually talking to someone, someone else would be like He’s actually talking
Exactly guys. I used to get people do that to me all the time. Just forget about all the people that you 'think' are judging you. It's all in your head, they perobably have better things to do lol. That's how I stopped feeling bad when people did it. On the other hand, it's not their intention to actually make you feel bad.
They are probably just judgemental and ignorant. They probably judge so much that they are immune and don't realise that what they are doing is bad.
Isabella Bedford same. When i said something once someone just said: it is talking. I was like :(
OMG somone that understands me this literally happens to me since 1 grade and now I’m in 7 grade :(
So relatable hahaha
I'm just reading the comments because it's actually helping me have confidence lol
yea it helps me see that ım not the only one xd
@@bastac2993 Gucci Gucci flip flops something something in my socks
Where's that pfp from
Wronggggg,. the comments will make you feel okay at being shy and awkward. And if your seeing this video, I don’t think that’s what you want. You can Try this, whenever you see a comment you can maybe relate to, say to yourself I can no longer relate to this comment and then don’t like the comment at all and process what just happened😌I hope this help
Yeah same
“Confidence comes later, the actions of confidence come first!”
This is the best advise ive seen in the comments so far.
This is fire 🔥 that was great
@@skyhunter520 so I have to be confident before being confident
0:08 "this is gonna be useful to you if you've ever been out"
*oh ok*
*closes video*
greenhound lol ikr
greenhound Lol I haven't been out either.
XD nice. That's exactly like my xD
greenhound I am such Ginny Weasley in chamber of secrets when she first meets Harry. I have the same exact problem just with stage fright
Out? Like knocked out? I have never been too, but I did landed some sweet knockouts. Why suddenly he started to talk about shyness? I mean, wtf?
I have a tip. Just don’t care what anyone thinks. When you have a thought in your head, don’t replay it over and over to make sure it’s perfect, just say it. Also, if you want to make a friend, just go for it. Who cares what they say? Who cares what they think? It’s your life. Gain confidence
Min Yoongi thank you, I just remember this comment and I start to be me, I'm slowly getting better, thanks so much
Easier said than done haha
yeahhh👏👏
You just helped me gain 3 friends in my first day somewhere new ty so much
That works until someone actually walks up to you and says something
When someone talks to me and I don’t have anything to say or relate to, so I just awkwardly laugh quietly and just stand there. Also when someone laughs behind me I always expects them to laugh at me.
(bad english i know) I used to be like you
You just need to put this head in you head "nobody care's about you"
It helped me so much
@@mohamedkerouf3601 Thanks, now I have depression ._.
Just kidding ;)
i get like that too but what you have to realize is that everyone else feels like everyone is watching them too. everyone is so focused on themselves and their friends and their problems that they’re probably hardly noticing you. if they are noticing you, it’s most likely for a good reason. like when i notice someone it’s almost always because i like something about their appearance or outfit or whatever. they’re not laughing at you, believe me
@@friendlyneighborhoodloser2639 People also notice things they don't like
I hate being shy it keeps me from doing what I wanna do in life. I wanna be a dancer but I'm shy and people are so judgy. :( I hate myself sometimes.
Join school clubs, any job in customer service. It'll help a lot
@Asia Brown ur nice
I'm dealing with that right now!!! I want to learn hip hop but I feel awful.... and old...
“Judgy” .... HAHAHAHAHA-
Savannah Marshmallow i’m even more shy in social situations than on stage. Like stage is the only place i get lose. It’s just that too crowded places drain my energy. And many of my friends are so comfortable in big crowds while i love to party and dance i feel the best in a less crowded area of the club yet they want to be in the Center and it drains me...in less crowded places i am still shy but i feel more comfortable...I’m a performer though
I wasn't shy when I was younger... but all the sudden I kinda just shut myself out. Sure I'm going through that middle school time where you feel kinda insecure, but it seems worst for me. I'm basically one of the quietest people in my grade, and that has some benefits, I don't get in trouble, but my range of friends is kinda small. There's a somewhat odd group of people that I'm kinda just nice to, but when I sit with them because they seem lonely, I act like an idiot for a hour before I tell myself, calm down.
Drew Stephenson me 2 but now im anti soical
MidniteRiko I'm just to busy worrying about me and what to say I don't actually say it so most of the time i don't say anything
Drew Stephenson i can relate to that so much
Drew Stephenson OMG SAME. I’m just so shy. It’s hard for me to open up to anyone anymore. And the people I hang around aren’t the people I really want to hangout with. I just hang with them because I don’t want to be alone at school. Idk what happened to me. I stress because of the fact I can’t even be myself anymore💔
Savbaddie1 Xxx same
So, my friends dared me to introduce myself to someone randomly on the street (because I'm really socially awkward) so I walked up to this girl and said, "Hey, I've never met you, you're really pretty, I'm shy, and my friends dared me to do this. Can I get your name?" Now we're friends, and I don't know how to end this comment.
Princess TNT are you guys more than friends
Princess TNT your balls just got bigger in that moment
that's awesome
damn you have a big one there man.
raggex X good luck!
definitely can be hard to make friends if your not used to doing so.
biggest part is the continuous effort to get out of whatever is holding you back, and getting out of the comfort zone into what is actually going to help you progress
“It never ceases to amaze me: We all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own.”
- Marcus Aurelius
Fascinating!!
Because that is how we judge our worth - by comparing to others.
It used to bother me a lot when people say, “are you always this quiet?” or when I’m thinking I’ve been talking a lot or loud, and people say, “you are so quiet.” I’ve gotten over it. I once had a boss tell me, I need to stop being so quiet and speak up if I want to get somewhere in life. Well I’m a nurse, and my patients love me. I also have a wonderful husband and three beautiful kids. I get most of my thoughts out on my channel or through some type of social media or writing.
Somebody that took some acting classes for a while said this "Our acting coach there would make us act 1 by 1 and ask us what the person's mistakes were. Everyone would say a few different mistakes. Like how they talked quite or something. And the coach would say 'there were like a 100 mistakes there. But you only noticed a few of them because you have those mistakes too" I don't know if it's true cause I actually talk pretty loud even though I'm shy but I notice when they are talking quiet
I had to act in front of my school. Most of the people were fine with it, and I was fine with it. I was expecting to get a small roll or just be a background character... but I got the lead role for some reason. I’m fine with speaking in front of people, doing speeches, things like that, but I’ve never had an important lead role. I was nervous and I literally couldn’t think that I could do it.
Skip to the day of the play, I was backstage. I ran up to one of my classmates and told them that I couldn’t do it. I broke down and I got nervous. My friend told me that all I had to do was be myself and make people laugh. I couldn’t back out at the moment, so I just got on stage. Hundreds of eyes were on me, but I kept going. I said the first line... and then people laughed. I liked that my comedy and acting was making them laugh, so I kept going. Now I’m in drama club and a theater geek. I’ve been in so many plays and met so many people.
Just take a chance! No matter if you’re scared or not. I took a chance and it changed my life. You should too!
How to stop shyness:
Step 1. Do things that you don't do when you're shy
Thanks professor.
I don't think farting in public is such a good idea
Good one 😁😁
Matt shitting in public?
I think you are missing the point...you're supposed to let yourself feel shy. So you will feel really bad for 30 seconds, because you're nervous and you have to let your body process the shyness. Once you do that, you'll naturally just feel better because you know it can't get any worse.
***** i actually like your analysis.
“How to stop shyness in 60 seconds”
*video is **9:45** minutes long*
My whole life is a lie
Carlitos Espinosa LMAO literally
He meant the actual process he explained should take 60 seconds
Templar Exemplar woooosh
@@carlitosespinosa oof I got wooshed
That’s what I was thinking lol
His smile is bigger than my future
Everything is bigger than my future
He's low-key hot
Andreas Viks LMAOOO STOP OMG
@@YourSuzerain i agree ngl
Lmao same
Step One : Reset
Step two : Open up
Step three : Creative in conversations
Courage is key word
BAngelZ 09 But you see, that doesn’t just help everyone. That comment can help people that are quite new to this, but resolutions don’t just happen as easy as this. For example, me.
Grunge Lord it is true
interesting points ,if anyone else wants to discover best cure for shy bladder try Sovallo Bladder Shy Fixer ( search on google ) ? Ive heard some incredible things about it and my m8 got cool results with it.
BAngelZ 09 no, save it and if you fail, load up ur previous save
I can’t do that
Great now my boss fired me when he saw i looked like I couldnt care less during our meeting
IM CRYING
Then you did it wrong
humudu oh hey, you might wanna try to keep an attentive face (just keep your eyes on the person speaking even as your brain blanks out, nod a bit when the person pauses to take a breathe). like charlie says, to the degree that you can. there are certainly a lot of places where you still have to be uptight, esp work meetings. however if you can tweak and see how much you can get away with, then you can slowly adjust to the lowest level of energy state in the work meeting without getting 'caught' and use it as a reset time.
or even easier is to take a toilet break and use the time to reset a bit.
humudu 😂😂 Sorry, but dude, not to be mean, but that seriously made my day. Have at least a little bit more interest next time. 😉
Then ur boss sucks
“Anxiety is like not being able to live with yourself or express yourself” - Axel Dobbins
Some advice for people who get nervous in social situations: stop thinking about yourself as somebody who gets nervous in social situations. When you’re talking to someone, don’t think “oh god, I’m talking to someone right now, time to panic” instead, just take a deep breath, calm yourself. The other person really doesn’t care as much as you think they do, and I bet they’re feeling self conscious too. Instead, tell yourself that you’re confident and relaxed. Become interested in what the other person is saying. Focus outward, stop trying to see yourself from the other persons eyes. Ask questions, make remarks. If you’re relaxed, questions will automatically pop into your head.
I just have a question you are obviously amazing with the information you have, but the question is where did you learn all this?
Mostly from self study and observation. I wish there was a school that taught this, but I've yet to find one
Okay thank you for responding, and thank you for all the amazing videos
Charisma on Command You're hot
Vangelicest gayy
we spend like 5 years learning about the pythagorean theorem in school when we could actually be learning useful things like this !!! i am the definition of shy. I really needed this video. Thank you
hamburger
yeah lol
Exactly my thoughts lol
Read more
Lol.....me
Same
I just don't feel like the thoughts in my head are important enough to be spoken or engaged in a conversation.
oh my goodness same.. thing is im into learning languages and this is sooo much more amplified when you struggle even being able to say simple thoughts. sometimes i just shut down and dont hardly say anything. i dont like it because it can affect others negatively, but i dont know of much else i can do
He mentions that in this video tho
It’s worth it, “chime” in as he said in the video! Just little bits of expressing your thoughts are great and get easier with “chiming” in
you're not beig yourself when you're shy
think about it my man truth
So? Listen to what other people talk about. I guarantee the conversations these people have are FAR dumber and more unimportant than the thoughts you have in your head.
Is it just me or when I wear something covering my whole face or something like a mask, I have more confidence?
Exactly!
Well then now is your perfect time :q
Same
I have less my eyes just don’t look good and I feel like I’m the ugliest in my class .
YEP lol its because nobody knows who i am under there.
ive gotten to the point where i dont want to fuck with anybody. i think im ok with being alone now. its wierd
Stony Tark you are like me bro.. i thought i'm the only one
Same
Same, I hate talking to people looking at people and it's just ugh
Leah Howze Rip mate
But, still don't know why I have friends idk I weird.
how to defeat shyness :
*L O T S O F T E Q U I L A*
this actually worked for me haha. Like I would get drunk and remember how I acted, then do the same at parties sober and I learned social skills lol
Daniel Suelzle yo why is that smart
YES
2 shots of vodka
Little bit of drugs
shyness is a quality that implies a divergent way of being that is undervalued & stigmatized for non-neutral, motivated reasons, ("everyone should be and act in the world in the same ways"), and the impulse to "kill" it is quite alarming, because it suggests shy people should... not exist? SHY PEOPLE ARE VALID AND VALUABLE. I want a video from a shy person teaching loud people to be more shy or self aware. Loud people are often grotesque to those of us with higher sensitivity.
Exactly, why aren't extroverts the problem?
A friend of mine told me that apart from me,no one knows who i really am , so why believe what they say about me? She was right all along.
Because the way they perceive you influe ces how they trest you and if you have to interact with them frequently thst can be a problem?
how to eliminate shyness for guys.
1. Tell yourself "I'm not a bitch" and go for it. Sounds simple but it works. The harder decisions in life are normally the more beneficial ones. It's easy to be lazy, easy to fantasize about what you could/would do. Harder to take action and risk failure/rejection. It is the worst to let yourself down. That's probably one thing that leads to mid life crisis is you look back like "i should of/could of done this." Fuck all that, just go for it. You will feel proud of yourself. Hope this comment helps at least one person.
penile 1
Actually yes, I do. Not everyone that uses the internet is an anti social house freak. I'm giving advice based on my own experiences.
*****
can't argue with that. amen
Alexander Delarge
you made the mistake of saying it out loud right in front of her my friend.
+David TenderNuts I have crippling depression
+anythingnew If you're interested in shallow women - which you must be, else you'd have had more exposure generally - maybe you need to rethink things a bit.
Longest 60 seconds of my life.
ikr
😂😂😂
Crownz LOL
Same 😂
Spartos That's bc it's 10 mins
Aye but us shy people are the best once you really get to know us and we break our shell😌
I don't talk much in social situations, (parties, going out to eat, etc). So when I do talk, everyone listens to me.
Bruh, being in school and not knowing where to put your arms is so fuckin true
Trevor Houff what can i do for that .
Resinds .P *Cut them off*
Resinds .P jk dont take it seriously
WhiteWalkerPepe too late
typing this with my nose
I don't want to small talk with people I don't know, without sounding rude, some times I just don't care enough to talk to some people, I'm quite a lot of the time, and only talk when it's about something i have good input about, I don't believe in just talking for the sake of it, but when I do talk about things, it's really coming from somewhere of truth and something I have really thought about and has meaning and that way I'm really being me, not just talking because socially I feel like I should, but this is just how I feel, but as you said in the video, i think for people that want to be more open.
Zyprox in short: YOU ARE INTROVERT
Same. Many have said to me that, when I speak, everyone feels like that my opinion means serious business just because I won't flap my mouth around all the time like a lot of people.
Same, i fucking hate "weather talk/small talk".
If you don't start talking to people, you'll never get to know anyone
Maybe some of us experienced being bullied that's why we don't have confidence and we always hide . Being shy or socially awkward sometimes misinterpret other people , some see you as arrogant , shy or mad.
Let's just take a moment to appreciate his smile at the thumbnail.
So I guess I'm not the only socially awkward person here •_•
Steve Yo what you have to say doesn't matter
If that’s you in the profile pic then you’re hot af.
No...no you're not
Yep
Steve Yo I'm also socially awkward
At the club
me: “hey what’s up! where’s the photo copier”
😂😂
😂😂😂
For some reason I’m shy when my parents are near my classmates but without them, I feel comfortable to talk
I LITERALLY WANT TO CRY WHENEVER SOMEONE TALKS TO ME LIKE .🧍♀️
I usually find that if I unzip my fly and flash my gear to the nearest person it helps a ton
DaNyAaLcEc haha best comment here
DaNyAaLcEc wut..?
DaNyAaLcEc Just don't get that confident, or you could be charged with sexual assualt lol.
Learn to live and act on your voice instead of analyzing and criticizing ur self before lift off.THAT WAS EXTREMELY HELPFUL TO ME.THANKS!
~ Glad to hear you're finding it helpful!
i can do this but the problem is i may being too extra
You want to stop being shy, start a fight every day with a stranger and lose it
like in the movie 'fight club '
aziz adventures Sounds incredibly emotionally effective however; compellingly psychotic. Cant see prolonged success outside of the truly mental. Perhaps understanding exactly what you mean is enuf to classify me as mental AF but that actually makes sense
Me: Hey this is totally random but have you read any good books?
Person: yes
Me: Hey this is totally random but...
A response to that yes is: What did you like about the book?
"Hey this is totally random, but have you considered the flaws in our country's tax code?"
Yeah that's why I have no friends
@@blakestratton2382 just look for people that admire your quirks
If people give a one worded response, ask questions that either draw them out or require them to elaborate.
Do you remember the names on any of them?
Oh great, could you tell me about the story?
What was your favorite part, or what did you like about it?
And then you could proceed to give your thoughts based on their responses. Or give the answer to your own question whether they ask you or not.
@@blakestratton2382they don't deserve a friend like you.
Thank You Mate I don’t have social anxiety sometimes I shake when I’m scared or freaked out or can’t breathe or feel like I can’t.
And I’m learning how to be more social I’m really trying I know it’s not anxiety
It’s just me.
This helped a lot.
Same
Me too bro
And i just use my phone to avoid shaking
Same
Melody York Not certain about the points made but ,if anyone else wants to uncover shyness treatment try Renkarter Anxiety Method Report ( search on google ) ? Ive heard some super things about it and my mate got excellent results with it.
I can only imagine how many introverts you have made more confident to be social. You got a great channel and here is to 1 million subs!
Thanks for the encouragement!
when someone says that I’m shy and why im so quiet I became more shy and quiet . Im really trying to hard to be not one. I often cry because of my shyness , its really depressing... i dont know what to do in my life anymore its really hard.
Profile picture source?
So I am a shy, timid person and I don’t talk much. I also talk low so people would say “Can you speak up?”, “Talk louder I can’t hear you”, etc. My dad told me to stop being so timid and to be confident. Like... it’s not my fault I was born like this! It’s not my fault that I was autistic and couldn’t speak! I didn’t ask to have speech classes since I was 2! This is how I am and I feel like I’m being punished for it. Well they want me to not be timid... Imma show them what happens when I’m NOT timid...
The problem for me is that I actually don't have anything to say .... I blank out or just stay silent.. like.. what should I say??, how do I maintain conversations.. I usually have really short conversations with strangers because I don't know what to ask ... this is a problem for because I want to do nursing as a career and *communication* is the one of the *MOST ESSENTIAL SKILLS* for this course 😢😭.. I Overthink a lot too which is soooooooo bad 😢
ONCE FOREVER Twiceuu Just show interest towards the other person once you initiate the conversation,show interest to what they say. The other person will keep it going. Only hope it wont bore you though, so be sure you have genuine interests or maybe just practice it till it becomes your second nature. People like to talk about themselves after all.
same like me
@@g.j But I try to talk with another introvert. It doesn't work because she doesn't talk, she's introvert or really shy idk but I can't speak with her because she just want to listen and I don't have anything to say
Ask a question, ask a question about their response and see if u can relate. If u don’t relate, repeat the steps.
Does anyone else pick that shy person to talk to so u feel more confidence
I never liked the word "Charisma", so the name of the Channel made me feel kind of skeptical. After watching some of the videos I can see how much helpful they are. I rarely suscribe to the Channels and quite seldom a video seems to deserve LIKE. But the channel deserves approbation. :)
Welcome to the channel! That means so much.
There are motivational channels that give tips, tricks, and steps on how to change bits and pieces of your life but all of them explain things very vaguely, this guy makes it clear and logical. I subscribed today.
Charisma sounds like Christmas. Just connect weird words with awesome shit.
this was kind of a joke btw, not trying to sound assholish :)
I don’t understand myself, how do I know almost everybody in my school and everybody know me but I can’t even learn how to be social and maintain these relationships 😭😭 I just feel so out of place
You feel out of place. The solution? Actually be out of place. If you feel even more out of place, go somewhere else. If you feel in place, congratulations.
@@fdb1539 what?
Im REALLY shy, theres literally no cure.
iiSimplyBubbly maybe becoming someone else
iiSimplyBubbly same brooo
you're not beig yourself when you're shy
think about it my man truth
dont try to be a different person, afterall an original is worth more than a copy
Do you atleast talk at school?at all?I know I don't which is a reason I don't have any friends and never had...hopefully you have friends..
When i want to say something i just cant say it ...
Mateja Stankovic Me too, it’s awfull and depressing.
Damn it happens to me too 😓
I have a tip. Just don’t care what anyone thinks. When you have a thought in your head, don’t replay it over and over to make sure it’s perfect, just say it. Also, if you want to make a friend, just go for it. Who cares what they say? Who cares what they think? It’s your life. Gain confidence
Min Yoongi you’re right! No rumination. Thanks!
Min Yoongi I knowww but when I do say I’m not going to replay that thought again it eventually keeps popping up in my head and it’s just so hard to talk to the people I really wanna be friends with.🙁
This does not really work for shyness that stems from social anxiety or fear of people,
exactly. If I take 30 seconds to "free me" I would have more anxiety.
weckar Remember: Everybody poops. Everyone is normal. Nobody is on a pedestal. I found this really helpful when whenever I struggle a lot with my social anxiety. It's never going to be easy, but it can be easier just to tell people you're around a lot "Hello". Just start with that. If you have social anxiety it'll make your heart pound a lot, also remember: Nervous and excited are the same emotion.
weckar well it's not a video on how to cure anxiety. Anxiety is a totally different thing from simply just being shy.
Samantha Peterson True. It's psychology. What you mentioned doing gradually reprograms your subconscious mind throughout time to adapt. Fear like excitment is a energy and if not controlled or handled properly will act out in your subconscious mind as a weakness causing insecurity lack of eye contact awkward gestures. That is your brain going into survival mode due to the lack of social contact.
I’m not the slightest bit shy when I’m around my friends. In fact I’m the most confident in the friend group. But when I’m not around my friends, my social skills fall apart
Same broo💀💀💀
I'm not shy I just really have nothing interesting to say.
Samee
yeas
Lange foaga ikrrr same
@حارث يزن Hareth I do lol
@حارث يزن Hareth I'm not I really just don't like talking 😆
Is it me or does his mouth looks edited?
😂💀
Narutske Umazachi no I see it too
Narutske Umazachi 😂😁😂😁
its not just you lol
*glass shatters* himym fans will get this
How to stop shyness in 60 seconds
*Video is ******9:44****** *minutes long*
alejandro jara in real life it'll take you a minute to do this, he couldn't explain all this in 60 seconds, come on!
Eleanor Its A Joke Come One!
alejandro jara my first thought
the video streched by 1 sec it's 9:45
alejandro jara IKR
I'm extremely introvert but I think I got to a successful enough way of networking and meet people. The point is, you don't have to necessarily say much.
People are super duper intrigued by people who can actively listen. You don't have to really storytell or anything. Just introduce yourself, and then ask a question. And not an "how are you doing?" one, but actually some that may interest them.
Ask about something you are passionate about, and that leaves to the other part the chance of an open answer. You can ask about their favourite kind of music, if they've ever tasted that dish, if they know somewhere to go eat or stuff like that. Y/N questions are conversation killers, but if you are able to find a common ground it'll make things way easier.
What also helps a lot is to go to events that revolve around a topic. For example, I'm a huge nerd and I know quite a lot about the indie gaming industry and community. I thrive in that kinda situation where I can ask about a certain controversial topic, network gathering opinions, etc etc. To talk about business or to ask people out there's always time, but if you need a good impression or simply want to enjoy your time, things will be soo easier if you find a common ground and try to move to deeper levels.
Also, people will appreciate that more. Many just meet and chat about what they do, but what's really important is to get someone to talk about what they love doing, or open up about a concern, or something else. Sometimes I believe I don't find anything to say not because I'm just shy, but because what's being said is not really of interest to me, so I try to actively drift the conversation to something different, or limit myself to listening to what they have to say, or even better explain politely I don't know anything about the topic they may be talking about, but tell them I'd love to know more and if they can explain me that.
My social anxiety is sooooooo bad, I don’t know how to deprogram myself from feeling the need to preform and put on this ego facade
1. walk outside
2. drop your pants
3. let them laugh
4. run away
5. cry it off cry it off
cryy it offf
8. Then get hit by a bus which catches fire
9. tell your mom's flirty friend that she looks really good
10. get a restraining order placed on you
"How to stop shyness in 60 seconds" Answer: get drunk
It works wonders every single time but be aware, in office or professional situations alcohol is quite hard to mask and can easily backfire real quick.... Don't ask me how do I know ...LOL
Dark Psionic 😂😂
Worked for me
Dark Psionic So true
Dark Psionic no drunk i ain't officer
The job I wanna do kind of needs me to present once or twice a week..
Actually I used to extroverted when I was younger but then my parents taught me in ways where they completely shattered my confidence, now I’m 16 and I realize the problem which is confidence so I’m working on it. This is why I want people to know that it’s not them, or their parents, it’s the ways they were raised.
Edit: pretty much what most people need is a boost of confidence. When presenting or speaking to someone and you feel shy, you may not realize it but you feel smaller than that person you’re talking to. This is why you have to tell yourself that you are the best and nobody is better than you. I did that during a presentation and it actually worked.
I'm so shy that this is my first comment
He makes it look easy af but in reality it's really not, at least for me.I'm too awkward.
iknow its hard but look your watching stuff like this means u value how to improve or learn n stuff don't give up
camille doodle yes!!! we can do it guys
DocZero hey me too I'm socially akward
DocZero same I gtg cry in my bed now
Hunter Parker yes DISTURBED!!
thank youu i need this haha i'm so shy especially at school. i always watch the people that i've been wanting to talk to since like last year and i couldn't get a word out of me to any of them. then eventually two of the people i wanted to talk to graduated at the end of last school year-and i never even got to introduce myself :/ i think i'm gonna try talking to people now, usually i get so close to asking someone a question or saying "hello" but what stops me is: what if they ignore me? what if my voice cracks? what if they don't hear me? what if they don't like me? so then i just contain myself & i don't say a word.. it's just so much more easier to talk to boys than girls. i've had someone ignore me :( and one time my friend tried complimenting this girl on her sweater and she got ignored, it's really discouraging. SO PEOPLE, WHEN SOMEONE TRIES TO TALK TO YOU: DONT IGNORE THEM
It is really rude to ignore people, but maybe that girl was out of it. I sometimes accidentally ignore people when I'm thinking:)
moonchild we're same.I'm a shy girl too!Ever sinse I'm elementary and now I am grade 7 I am shy.I cannot talk much.Because other might ignores me.I don't want to be ignored.I always think negative thoughts.I am not participating in school.And When the time i talked,they can't hear me because my voice is too soft.
I feel uncomfortable when I am around with many people.Yes,I have a lots of friends,And yes I am lucky to have them,But now I don't know what to do because I am shy to join them.
The one thing that can make me proud is to overcome my shyness!
I think about those same questions but I wished I would have said more to those people instead of being quiet.
Ur not alone ave been going to a new school for a week and I haven't talked to anyone only this one girl who I keep following n now she thinks I'm weird
When I was a real estate appraiser and I wanted to break the ice with a homeowner, I would ask them about their pets. It was something they were passionate about, without being too personal.
Ahh I'm crying I'm so shy god help me
SAME. it literally pains me to talk to another human being
Same and even if I do try to talk to someone I just get to AWKWARD
how are you now
omg this is what my theater teacher emailed me lmao
squishy mochi loll really thats funny af
Is that legal
It's weird, it feels like if you actually know me. I'm definitely subscribing
I know where you live. Just kidding! Welcome to the channel!
Lol thanks!
He probably knows psychology. It's a great tool for understanding people.
It's called the forer-effect
Julian Ramirez
That's called a crush, Julian. It means you want him inside of you.
My shyness is at a point where im even hesitating to share my thoughts here :(
I can vouch for this one!
Just moved out to Washington, wayyy better clubs here than back home.
Decided I don't want to be a shy introvert anymore.
I think back to Charisma on Command,
"take up space, maybe make a little noise."
So I start going hard all night. Dancing with all my energy, really getting into the music.
NOBODY else is too energetic yet (It's the first DJ of the night), dancefloor isn't even half full yet
I'm totally into it, and when a song I recognize starts playing, I'm screaming with hype, at this point I figured I was making a bit of a fool of myself
But whatever, I'm into this, I'm confident. Too energetic is better than too small. I'm feeding off the energy of the room
Within the first 30 minutes, the obvious "popular guy" with all the girls, clearly been here before, probably always in the VIP, comes over and starts to interact with me a bit
Now we're both going hard, his friends follow,
Now we're a circle of people all dancing together, having a good time. Dancefloor is filling up quick.
We all exchange snapchats by the end of the night.
Success.
I have a question: For some reason I have a problem with making eye contact, I will be having a conversation and it's all good when suddenly I completely freak out about when and how to make eye contact, as if I've forgotten how to and what's appropriate and what not. This will distract me from the conversation and I'll want to get out of it as quick as possible.
I have ADD so it may have something to do with that, and I also find it happens when I'm talking to men more often than talking to women. Does anyone know how to fix this?
DelRey maybe you need to be more open with the person crack more jokes make more cheeky ones so ull feel more open with him.
I used to be like this with another girl I had in class untill I got confident enough to like make some cheeky jokes (sexual or not)
and now have no problem talking to her
thank you for the tip! I'll keep it in mind
DelRey np appreciate it if u wanna be cheeky u can look at their nose and they wont notice the difference but be natural so u dont have to think about it 😁.
I'm not the only one with ADD :))
When I first started in sales I was told to look the person in their right eye to show you are listening. It takes you out of your head trying to figure which one to look at lol. Once you put it in your head that this is the way things should be in conversation it becomes the norm and you don't think about it anymore you just listen.
pro tip: you can watch these videos all you want, but it won't do anything for you if you don't go out and practice what he says.
"If you want something you've never had, you'll have to do something you've never done".
I concur!
Is that a Les Brown quote?
Today I applied the stomach rule to calm me down before a speech and the 3 second rule to look at people. It really helped. Started watching your videos a week ago and already starting to notice a positive difference. Thank you!
I'm so shy that I don't even take pictures of myself and post them because Im always thinking what people are gonna think when they see it. Or maybe they see flaws I never saw
100% relatable...i do post pictures but i will archieve after 5 min
why does his mouth remind me of the joker. im not being mean i swear lmao i like the joker
Kevin Hernandez maybe but he has a beautiful big small
Ally Munoz i find his mouth sexy .
I think that it would be successful. But instead of people machines. lol
Ally Munoz I see it now! :0
Ally Munoz It reminds me of Jeff
i remember i saw this documentary about a guy that took shyness to the next level, like he got to the point where he couldnt even talk to his family. he had this psychologist helping him get over it, and one thing she had him do is walk a banana in public. i felt like i could take something from that, cause most of the time im afraid im gunna make a total fool of myself in social situations. i feel like everytime you do a little screw up, its just enough to keep you fearfull, what you really gotta do is fuck up so bad that afterwards your like, man, i dont think i could do something that bad even if i tried to recreate it, it almost desensitizes you in a way. i mean you could totally go and walk a banana down the street and i think it would help a shy person immensely. idk if i could do that hah, even tho i know it would help me. you know people would be telling the story of the man they saw walking a banana for ages
Chuck Aule ajajkakakas omg I actually wanna try this. It seems like such an icebreaker!
Lmao where can I watch that documentary?
@@Sindruzzzz you would just become the town oddball who everyone whispers about which will then make you feel like a depressed reject who's only friend is a bruised banana.
@@TF80s what a downer
Thank you for sharing! I still struggle with social awkwardness and I’m almost 38 years old. Not sure if anyone can relate to this. Most people just go through these struggles in school and trying to discover who they are. But, I’ve always been awkward. Learning to embrace this trait as I get older. I’m assuming eventually I’ll stop giving a shit what others think, lol.
Me at 36
Me at 44
I have anxieties of my own. I scroll and I see every single other person is experiencing the same thing. We’re all here for the same reason. Isn’t it weird how we think it’s such a personal thing but it happens to everyone on a large scale.
I'm not shy but I'm a dope to door salesmen so I had to watch this just in case.
daamn you be slangin dope
Dope to Door? Wow 🤔
😂😂😂😂
These comments are killing me 😂😂
dude, and you deliver too? my mans don't even deliver XD
this channel is just beautiful
it amazes me every time
My shy friend sent me this video and I’m here to help you. There’s 7 billion people on earth and your worried about like 0.00001% of them. Do better and just realise everyone’s the same.
I like the reset the most. People are often too busy doing their own things, and we often don't look as bad as we think.
How I defeated my shyness: I imagine the person standing in front of me is a poop
Minabbit well a lot of people are pretty shit
I imagine that they are dead corpses standing in front of my cold soul.
All you have to do is shove a murder list in their faces, and make them regret ever asking or judging about you by burying their dead body when you finally found the perfect time
😂
It may work....only if he woldn't be my crush and see him as a really cute poop.
That would make me laugh so hard in front of whoever was in front of me haha. This definitely wouldn't work for me
Minabbit I lold
I tried the part about introduction, I walked up to some girl, said "Hi my name is your name" and she walked away awkwardly.. What did I miss here?
Because you don't just walk up to them hahaha. You walk up to them after you made eye contact and say something it can be nice or it can be about something you are acting like you are looking for which most likely works best since you can pick anything that you can make fun of or joke about. Doesn't have to be like what he said something you are really looking for. Example: I was a teen when I used to go to the mall just to have a social interaction with a girl. I intentionally had made eye contact but that was Obv. I then walk towards her and she tries to walk around you because I make it look like I was just gonna keep going but instead I move with her and she moves the other way then say hey can I ask you why you keep trying to cut me off? Boom it's pretty easy and always make it silly so it never feels personal and it is light hearted. That allows them to open up. Make sure something you do or say you have no emotions attached to it and that will make you not nervous about it. I always liked to make it a joke out of a normal everyday social interaction I have and she has everyday so they have some sort of connection or emotion attached to it. For instance how I did what I told you I did. Everyone walking in the mall tries to move out the way of each other so she never seen it coming but because she knows that it came from a perspective that has a emotion attached to it. I know this was long winded but explaining the WHY it works is what will make it work.
I don't think you get the joke. He literally went up and said "My name is your name".
Ohhhhhh my god😣
jbrdbr111 idk I don’t see anything wrong...
Well that's a pretty cool introduction. I woulda speak with you.
I am a very quiet person at school but once I am home I am a very talkative person (especially with online friends.) Another thing is that I have no idea what to talk about. I am terrified in public as I always have the mindset of people judging me badly. Recently when I am in public, I have the mindset of "these people are looking at me but who cares what they think of me." Because I have been learning to love myself. I have been working out 3 times a week and honestly, it made me think better. School starts soon again and I think I have reached a new mindset I never thought I would reach.
Only sometimes I’m shy and I just don’t wanna change suddenly