BUT I HAVE MY OWN STYLE. THAT DO NOT FOLLOW PICK UP LINES. NOT DOING WHAT PEOPLE TALK ABOUT PERSONALITY. BECAUSE I AM UNIQUE IN MYSELF. AND MY MIND OBSERVE PEOPLE IN REAL WORLD AND THAT'S HOW IT IS CREATED IN HUMAN. LIKE LEARNING AND RESPONSING.
I'm awkward. Honestly . I really don't know what to say to people. It's like my mind goes completely blank and it refuses to help. I don't have friends because I can't communicate easily. I actually like being by myself though. Makes me a good listener. But you know we need to get ourselves out there sometimes. So I decided on 4 simple steps: 1) open with a smile; 2)compliment people; 3)crack a joke here & there. 4) most importantly - L I S T E N This is literally to anyone I meet.
Hi Aju, You can improve. I used to be terrible: either not talking at all (just smiling) or talking non stop. You just start little at a time. Say 1 or 2 things and then give them a chance to talk. Always keep it related and build off what the other person says. You: "Hey, ____, how is everything/how are you?" Other person: "Good thanks." You again: Ask them something depending on where this is/how you know them. If they're from work: So how's you're project going?/ What did you think of the meeting yesterday?/So what are you doing this weekend? Other person again: Now, it's their turn. Keep it going back and forth like a tennis match.
I figured it's good when you throw some sweet and funny self-deprecating story. Like that time I bough a SIM card on black market and whenever my boss would call me he would reach a 13 yo in Oregon. Her parents thought he was a creep, and he stopped talking to me at work. I couldn't figure out that I could make calls, but not accept them, because of faulty SIM. They find you human :) and then it flows
1)intention 2)approach -body languange (smile, posture) 3)open line -hey, how are you? 4)look for mutual --> conversation sparks -eye brow raised 5) end -future plan --> wish the best of luck
Great video. Here is a summary of the tips from Vanessa: 1. Set your intention 2. Approach with open body language 3. Open with a smile 4. Aim for Sparks 5. Exit by referring to the future
Then continue on , nice to meet you , Then ask what's they are upto . Then ask about weather and listen their answer , if they answer in 1 word then (it's a sign that they aren't interested in those questions much) . Then ask them bigger question , like , latest news or simply ask what do you like to do , Then when they say their likings , simply focus on things they like and ask them about that . Try this 😌
I recently went through a difficult breakup. My five year relationship ended few month ago, and it's been incredibly hard. I still have so much love for my ex boyfriend, and I can't seem to get him out of my mind. Despite my best efforts to win him back, nothing has worked, and the thought of being with anyone else feels impossible right now. I know it might sound odd to share this here, but I miss him deeply and can't stop thinking about him
I completely understand the pain of letting go of someone you love. I went through a similar experience when my 10 year relationship ended. I couldn't imagine my life without him, so I tried everything to rekindle our love. I eventually found guidance from a spiritual counselor, and their support helped me bring him back into my life if you're open to it, seeking help from a spiritual counselor might make a difference.
I just sought him up online thanks to your helpful information. remarkable I just checked Father Obah Eze online, and he's really genuine. Thank you again ❤
Well once I asked someone “How are you?” And she said “Good how are you?” And I said back “I’m good how are you?” 😭 Edit: (someone in the comments asked what happened after that) She threw up and I’ve felt worthless and ashamed of myself ever since
A really good and condensed 7min talk, I watched 4 times. Here are notes I took and hope it helps other people like me. • Set an intention for the conversation you want to get out of • Smile to people • What’s a good opening line? ◦ Start with simple greeting, like : “hey how are ya” don’t say something too intense. ◦ Complement are great second and third. • Look for conversation sparks, find the cues of engagement, e.g. eyebrow raised, so you know they are interested in the topic. Find mutual likes. • Ending a conversation ◦ Last impression is as important as the first impression ◦ shift to future-warding discussion ◦ Mention you are happy to chat and wish them best luck • Approaching people: look for open gesture, be open gesture / pivot out when you want to be approached • Get off your cellphone • Tip for when you have no one to talk to on a party: a sweet spot is at the exit of the food line, that’s where people just got food and have no one talk to, and you can use your opening line “hey how are you”
Introversion is nothing, just get a PHD in nuclear physics to boost your confidence or say your an Architect.. Either way you have to be employed of course. 🍷😉
Hello. I was listening to a neighbor that was talking to me and all of a sudden my phone rang. I didn't answer it. They said to answer it and I told them that I enjoy their conversation and that I enjoy listening to them. Usually robo calls interrupt, but I wanted the person that was talking to me to feel that their conversation was meaningful to me. It's called appreciation.
1. Think of intention before a conversation 2. Body language: hands visible, shoulders down, smile 3. Best opening: "Hello how are you?" 4. Sparks: eyebrows raise 5. Best ending: "Hey what are you up to this weekend?" -> "It's so great to speak with you, I wish a best luck on ...." 6. Pivot out when available for people to approach 7. Sweet spot to find someone to talk: grab a drink and stand beside the snack place
Where like yin and yang. I don't shut up. The girl always said you're show. It's not all natural practice, but always a trade off. I get nervous when people are watching me read and lost. But I am extremely good at blackjack, Im happy with it. I'm trying out the force the conversation. I'm sorry. I said I try like I said I didn't shut up
There's no recipe for how to be attractive or confident. Just be comfortable with yourself and the rest will come by itself. Honestly, if you feel good with yourself you will never care about anyone's opinion, in a nice way. Find your Bliss people!
For those of you that are having trouble getting past the “Hey how are you?”, try not to focus on the conversation ending before it has even began. Instead, focus on the first step that Vanessa mentioned which is setting the intent. Even ask about their hobbies or work. Whatever they’re answer, dig further into that and ask questions about it as though you will be attempting it soon. I personally love being able to gain a new perspective in such a short amount of time simply through another’s words.
Read "how to win friends and influence people" and learn how to meditate trust me, I grew up very shy and introverted my entire life but I knew that I had this desire to get my message out into the world so I realized i had to learn not only how to talk to people but also how to influence a certain outcome that I desired, this can be used for both good and evil so use this information wisely, being around people often drained the life out of me and given that English was not my 1st language the idea of trying to start a conversation with someone made me want to crawl into a hole and disappear, so what I did is I forced myself into a situation where my survival depended on my ability to communicate with people and I picked up a commission only sales job, needless to say it took me a while but i got very well st what i did and after the years of education I can boil down the majority of my "success" to those 2 principles, learn and understand people, learn how to get people to like you, and learn how to meditate especially if you're an introvert so that you won't be drained after interacting with people, that's what meditation did for me it taught me how to preserve my energy and taught me how to use my energy to do what I want it to do when I want it to do it without exhausting myself, I use the meditation app called headspace but I think there are other free ones, now I'm working on a book that I am writing, a dream that I've always had, and am looking to do public speaking and starting a TH-cam channel to promote my books and ideas, something i never thought would be possible for me given my upbringing. Anyways I hope this helped.
I picked up my wife with this line. Would you like some company. She said yes. It was a wrap from there. This was at work in the cafeteria. It took me a little bit to build up the courage to do that. Lol.
Have pre-planned answers for most occasions. We as humans love to connect with others. If still you have issues, put it on your Creator [as a Manufacturing Defect! LoL], you are not at fault for your mental-makeup or its perceived shortcomings, you excel some other areas!. Move on, life is too precious to be self-critical, laugh with world and world will laugh with you! -Blessings.
Yes agreed.. someone actually replying is a start....its not all on you. Im still trying to figure the art of conversation myself.. i am an introvert but still like to say simple hello to people in passing. The replies back are starting to be fewer these days. I say hi to everyone...i find older people or a dog lover wanting to stop to say hello to my dog are the only people who reply. If they dont reply... its probably some one i dont want to talk to anyway.
Exactly. My grandmother hadn't have any problems to talk to waaay older people at her job or vacation. I didn't have any problems to talk to doctors and understand and being curious about my cold or how my heart beats. I could talk in English at 10 (English is not my native language) and be confident with my half American half UK language. I was confident to talk to my male colleagues about girl problems and periods and they were thankful because I prepared them to understand their future girlfriends, wives and daughters. Since I started university I changed into an emotionally abused depressive dog
I was a bartender for years in a former life and I feel working in the night life industry really taught me a lot about how to communicate with, and read people. Most, if not all, of what I learned is intuition so learning some science backed skills is very helpful. Thank you.
I'm introvert but I try to be more sociable. I just feel like If I can do I will have a lot of friends, new knowledges I've never know before, new attitudes and etc..
The foundation of the person who you are and the conversations that you have with other people is determined by the behavioural patterns that you saw when you were young, what other people made you felt and especially from your parents growing up. Break the pattern and love yourself, you are great and what ever you have to say and think is unique and every one will appreciate what you say. It starts with loving yourself, accepting and knowing that you are overall great just as you are. Then eventually you'll love yourself more to improve everything about how you communicate. What this video is missing is that you need to trully love and respect yourself in order to have great conversations with other people. The negative conversations you have yourself and the thoughts you have in your head is what's stopping you from having awesome and freeflowing conversations with people.
There are actual behaviors that people display that turns other people off. These bad behaviors needed to be iron out (For example, giving unsolicited advice under the belief that you're being honest/blunt). That's why there's a market for learning social skills.
I really enjoyed learning about the body language. I didn't realize I might have been sending out a message of being less approachable than I intended. I have had alot of social anxiety in the past, still have some but I am much better now. I was going out last week for dinner with some folks I used to work with and I was really looking forward to it, but still had to get myself 'psyched up' for it. I did 2 things: I set my intention of having some great fun and laughs, and to be my genuine self. The other thing was that I had 1 question in mind for each person to ask. Night went great!
It’s easy to head toward the end of a convo politely, but sometimes it’s hard to not end the convo awkwardly or abruptly especially with someone who isn’t good at picking up on cues that the convo is fizzling out, time to go, or it’s been going on for forever, etc. But love the future question/mention technique!
Saw this video 4 years back when I started university. Now graduated and starting my career, I am back here to tell you that IT WORKS!! I am an extreme introvert and I made alot of freinds. And if not freinds but have build this capacity to talk to people.
The Spanish are so good at saying good morning or good day to total strangers that they pass in the street. It can totally brighten your day when total stranger says this to you.😄
Ive been trying to do this for past few years...because it can really turn someones day around...not because it was from me.. just someone in general. Hello...with a smile.... but finding more often than not people just give me a weird side look or keep going.. only a few reply back.. Its just a hello or good morning...or just morning... Its not askin someone for coffee ... Why are people so weird on replying back...ok it might not be a good morning for them...its not always a good morning for me either especially when someone just walks by.... People could just do anything even a grunt or nod or smile. Or a simple wave. Im trying to figure out why people have stopped saying hello. It does the opposite effect when you say hello to 15 people snd not one says hello back...then 16 says nice day out isnt it? Yes.. its beautiful out... or yes...enjoy your walk.feel bad ehen no one replies And it somehow makes the day better having a reply back...
Easier, yes. But it’s not true that many average-looking people aren’t good conversationalists. They work at it longer and harder and don’t waste time blaming and complaining.
who would do that in a city where you pass 5 people every second? that would seem kinda crazy to me. i do see people select a few random people out of the crowd to say hello or good day to
I really like how simple but simultaneously novel your tips are. Asking "how are you", open body language, and equal importance on 1st and last impressions. I will definitely be trying this formula out soon! Thank you!
@Ferzzy It's a blessing in disguise. I've met a good amount of people that were desperately looking others to talk to that were not afraid to connect because of the virus. While I respect other people's decisions on their safety, I don't let them rule me. Some think I'm crazy, but most admire the bold stance.
0. Set an intention! 1. Hey how are you? (On approach) 2. Find common interests... follow what makes your conversational partner raise their eyebrows or say things like "oh really?" 3. Know when to end the conversation and do so by asking "what are you doing later today / tomorrow ? OK good luck with that and enjoy it!" Thanks a lot for this Vanessa, I'm sure your helping lots of people (: I wonder if you share this opinion: talking about ones passions and what one loves and is grateful for, focusing on that is better/ more attractive than criticism and complaint... staying in that genuinely grateful state requires me (personally) to meditate at least once a day.
summery: before Event set a Goal, Approach Person openly with a smile, "Hi, how are you?" find a common interest that creates spark (Person raises brows). to end conversation: ask About future Events, wish them luck doing that
She forgot to mention our appearance as well. It’s easier to have a conversation with someone who is clean, smells, good, is well groomed, and has a nice style. For example this woman is gorgeous. Every guy in the room wants to chat with her.
I ve said hi how are you.. or just the hi.... and the zombie walk right past... nothin..no hello no grunt no nod. Icome from a small town where evem strangers say hello in passing... or at minimum a smile or nod.. even a shrug Ok.... cool good chat. Zombies.. everywhere. Its the first word we learn besides mamma or daddy.... yet people have stopped saying a simple hello. Some might say hello if i have my dog with me. But even then sometimes another person with a dog... the dog is more friendly than the person. Have people lost their basic hello or hi? Like a hello or a hi means something more. Dont worry ive had that same answer Hi.... I have a gf / bf Ok...Im not lookin.. im just saying hi!
Kamran Khan Your best response in that situation should be "So do I" and then laugh your ass off. If she laughs, you're in. You can then strike up a conversation. 1. She didn't expect that response and it throws her off her game and crashes thru her bitch walls. So she's immediately intrigued and entertained. 2. For the moment, she thinks you're gay so the flight or fight response is immediately removed. 3. You've made her laugh, you've crashed right thru her guard walls and you've taken away the threat of just some random guy hitting on her. If you're comfortable with yourself you can play up the gay angle and get really lispy and queenish and talk about how fabulous her make up or nail colour or outfit or whatever you like, is. Chicks CANNOT resist a guy who can play the moment like that. She'll be puddy in your hands. And even if you bomb, just laugh at yourself and tell her how much of a jackass you are and apologize for waisting her time. Begin to walk away and she'll BEG you to stay and talk to her more.
WOW! I'm terrible with job interviews and this video has come at the right time for me. I'm going to take your free course on personal development and influence, because it's just what I need.
Vision your outcome, work the q's, be at ease, be engaged, be genuine, be smart, work within their interest, set up for the later conversation. Makes total sense. Probably natural for extroverts. Much was brought to light here. Thanks
"Your smile is your opening line..." Yes, exactly. I teach my clients that non-verbal cues are just as powerful as verbal cues. They have the power to make all the difference when it comes to communicating and connecting with people.
I love people and I love the science of people. I really love listening to you, Vanessa Van Edwards! You are helping me to be the best version of myself.
Ungggghhhh..... I hate strangers starting with inquiring how I am. It's so insincere. When I don't have an "intention " the other person asking me how I am is often a nonstarter. Thank you for these quick tips. I am a full time ride share driver and I am often analyzing how conversations go. I am the host in this environment and I have to follow my guest's lead in conversational habits. Thank you.
Because that's the pattern that you saw, what other people made you felt and especially from your parents growing up. Break the pattern and love yourself, you are great and what ever you have to say and think is unique and every one will appreciate what you say. It starts with loving yourself, accepting and knowing that you are overall great. Then eventually you'll love yourself more to improve everything about how you communicate. What this video is missing is that you need to trully love and respect yourself in order to have great conversations with other people. The negative conversations you have yourself and the thoughts you have in your head is what's stopping you from having awesome and freeflowing conversations with people.
That would be perfect 👌🏻 that way when you go to restart the conversation you’ve built that relaxed atmosphere. Instantly get someone laughing is the best start 😊 I would love that!
Awsome explanations: Intension, Approach, Opener, Sparks, Body Language, Start of Conversation, Interest and Exits. You have explained the things in a simple way. 👍💫
Vanessa, I just gotta say, you absolutely nailed this one, this video is absolutely amazing and invaluable, I've read so much psychology and pickup material and they all touch upon little bits and bobs but you read one book to only get 1 point that really matters out of all of the main essential ones you mentioned. Thank You so much! and Keep doing what you are doing as this is amazing.
Awesome advice! You dont know how much people tell me: "Just go and talk to people itll happen naturally" Prepping a gameplan is exactly what i needed.
This woman is the first person I have seen out of the people who talk about this stuff, ie body language, pick up lines, dating strategies, etc. who is actually intelligent, entertaining and likeable.
Very useful tips for a nice conversation, open hands work really well (makes you look open and honest), "Hey! How are you" and "Hey! how do you do" could be nice starters for a healthy and long interesting conversation. Go ahead, don't feel low while talking to someone looking smarter than you. You too can win hearts. The conversation is the key to starting a healthy relationship.
I love this!!! I’ve always considered myself an extroverted introvert because I’m fine in small groups or at work but throw me in a big group of people and I have a hard time navigating. Great tips!
Hello, how are you? I'm Andy. I was a very shy person. These techniques really work and have helped me to start conversations with others. Thank you so much.
I really need your amazing tips on how to have a conversation with anyone because I'm not that really good in talking to people I just met. Your advice is just right for me and I hope I can apply it someday for business and social purposes.
A very small conversation starter that I've actually found is really useful: What's your least favorite movie, song, show, etc. By asking for their least favorite instead of favorite, it not only surprises them but gets a more genuine answer
Steph: You look perfect! Look thru the eyes of your Creator and creator[your Mom]! Thou shalt not be self-critical, it is insult to your Creator/creator! Enjoy life. Others do not give bread and butter to you, Creator(s) do! -Blessings
@@StephanieStoven Another concept: We humans think as if we are eternal; that is illusion. We are leaking life by each breath like a tap losing water from a water-tank. Do not let life to waste. Just bump into person U love, now you are on a mission to use every second of life, and get going showering your emotions. Humans are not your judges. No one give you even a free cup of coffee! So shed their burden to control you to their whims! You are as free as Creators! And bliss will flow into your life like air rushes into vacuum!
I've found most people, even extroverted conversationalists are usually very understanding with shyness or awkwardness. You could say "sorry I'm being so awkward" or something like that and people usually respond "oh me too! Im so awkward sometimes." Or "eh don't worry you're fine." From my personal experience, try being more observant with the people you interact with. If you notice they got a new haircut or car, you could bring that up in conversation. Ask questions and listen as best you can. "How's the family?" Or "What are you up to these days?". Just like that, you're a pro! (Well not really but A for effort)
good stuff, vanessa! this would help people who are awkward but don't mean to be. my brother is so painfully shy, so he would benefit from this. thanks.
Really loved the tips especially the part about changing minds to the future before you leave a conversation, only God knows how many times I've ended a conversation with a really awkward tone
The best way to continue conversations is through key word association, aka “threading.” This is the engine of conversation which is why you need to actually listen to notice the key words. You can pick any key word in someone’s sentence and use it to transition to an associated topic at will.
I did call colds in my job for about 12 years. I remember it was so hard and scary to approach to people I didn't know. Now, no one can't stop me🤣🤣🤣like Bob proctor says. You learn by repetition until all becomes naturally
Good tips and would work with inlaws and business / networking functions pretty well where conversation is mostly nothingness and you need effective tricks to not stumble over the awkwardness. Occasionally, those nothing conversations at lame events get surprisingly interesting and make the event a lot more fun, so I'm sure steering into the conversation is the most important part. Steering out of the conversation, I don't generally care about, lol.
Vanessa. What to do when you genuinely don't like talking to people?.... I feel its overrated and I'm just not interested in most of what they say. Unfortunately, my life doesn't allow me to just not talk to people. Most days I feel I would be perfectly happy being the only person on the planet. My wife and kids are great, but other than that, its just too much work. Not a social anxiety issue-just not into people.
i have the same issue as you. I hate it when random people or strangers that I am alone with or next to me begin talking to me. I find it annoying when people try to create artificial conversation. If it is someone who I will eventually become friendly with such as an in-law or a classmate or a friend of a friend then I will have more interest in what they have to say.
With conversation, it is a two way street. Its nice when people acknowledge us and are interested in what we have to say....then we have to make a mental note and stop talking about "me" and ask them questions about them. Also, keep conversations light, if these folks start talking too deep, or check your watch and excuse yourself.
# First rule: intention # Open body language, smile # Opener: hi, how are you # Asking questions to find sparks (non verbal cues) # Ending a conversation : ask about future plans (weekend plans), then end the conversation.
What if you ask someone what they're doing this evening or this weekend and they think you're asking them out, or want to invite them to something, when really you're just curious?
khloe38 same thoughts a while ago but in the convo, Vanessa didnt push through and just said her well wishes for their future endeavors. She never said she'd like to join them.
Find out more in our full article on this topic: www.scienceofpeople.com/talk-to-anyone/
th-cam.com/video/Q5ilMM7kthM/w-d-xo.html
yeah, what do u do and what do u make????
3:12 Best pick up line: "Hi, how are you? I´m Vanessa or whatever..." I have to try that. :)
BUT I HAVE MY OWN STYLE. THAT DO NOT FOLLOW PICK UP LINES. NOT DOING WHAT PEOPLE TALK ABOUT PERSONALITY.
BECAUSE I AM UNIQUE IN MYSELF. AND MY MIND OBSERVE PEOPLE IN REAL WORLD AND THAT'S HOW IT IS CREATED IN HUMAN.
LIKE LEARNING AND RESPONSING.
Best
I often plan out conversations in my head that I end up never having in real life.
Ameen Ahmed I can totally relate to that!
So true lol
Yep that's me. 😅
Ditto
I feel you
I'm awkward.
Honestly .
I really don't know what to say to people.
It's like my mind goes completely blank and it refuses to help.
I don't have friends because I can't communicate easily.
I actually like being by myself though.
Makes me a good listener.
But you know we need to get ourselves out there sometimes.
So I decided on 4 simple steps:
1) open with a smile;
2)compliment people;
3)crack a joke here & there.
4) most importantly - L I S T E N
This is literally to anyone I meet.
Hi Aju, You can improve. I used to be terrible: either not talking at all (just smiling) or talking non stop. You just start little at a time. Say 1 or 2 things and then give them a chance to talk. Always keep it related and build off what the other person says. You: "Hey, ____, how is everything/how are you?" Other person: "Good thanks." You again: Ask them something depending on where this is/how you know them. If they're from work: So how's you're project going?/ What did you think of the meeting yesterday?/So what are you doing this weekend? Other person again: Now, it's their turn. Keep it going back and forth like a tennis match.
@@teresai1877Thankyou so much!!
General topics, hedlines, weather, clothes, cars... ;).
I figured it's good when you throw some sweet and funny self-deprecating story. Like that time I bough a SIM card on black market and whenever my boss would call me he would reach a 13 yo in Oregon. Her parents thought he was a creep, and he stopped talking to me at work. I couldn't figure out that I could make calls, but not accept them, because of faulty SIM.
They find you human :)
and then it flows
I don't know if I have brain damage, or my mind just goes blank I legit don't even know... :/
*smile*
*shoulders down and back*
“Hi, How are you?”
“I’m well, how are you?”
“I’m well, thanks.”
.....
.....
*runs away crying*
LOL
You forgot to finish with them saying "What just happened?"
OMG. This is exactly how it would go for me except instead of crying it would just turn into embarrassment because of the silence. Lol.
Lol! Right!
Dude I’m crying!! 😭😂
1)intention
2)approach
-body languange (smile, posture)
3)open line
-hey, how are you?
4)look for mutual --> conversation sparks
-eye brow raised
5) end
-future plan --> wish the best of luck
Hey how's it working out for you?
Thank youuu💙💙
Its also helps that she is very beautiful!😍
I know I have bad social skills but what is sad is that TH-cam knows it enough to recommend this too me. 😂
So funny!!!
Lmao same. But we're all gonna make it!
Arex0 omg same
Lol
Arex0 omg me too😭😭
Great video. Here is a summary of the tips from Vanessa:
1. Set your intention
2. Approach with open body language
3. Open with a smile
4. Aim for Sparks
5. Exit by referring to the future
SuccessinsightsTV - How do you exit by referring to the future if it’s Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday? “So...have any plans for Tuesday?” 🤨
Thank you
or could say like see you later
6. Don't stare at her tits
Comment should be pinned. Just needs the foot angle part summed up and added.
my conversation
me: ''hi how are u ''
random person: ''fine how are u''
me: ''good''
[awkward silence]
Hahaha same
Then continue on , nice to meet you ,
Then ask what's they are upto .
Then ask about weather and listen their answer , if they answer in 1 word then (it's a sign that they aren't interested in those questions much) . Then ask them bigger question , like , latest news or simply ask what do you like to do ,
Then when they say their likings , simply focus on things they like and ask them about that .
Try this 😌
@@mohitkerketta5176 OMG thank you! you just saved my life
@@Sakshi-dn3xc just know to respect people spaces if they don't want to engage .
Ill be back
I recently went through a difficult breakup. My five year relationship ended few month ago, and it's been incredibly hard. I still have so much love for my ex boyfriend, and I can't seem to get him out of my mind. Despite my best efforts to win him back, nothing has worked, and the thought of being with anyone else feels impossible right now. I know it might sound odd to share this here, but I miss him deeply and can't stop thinking about him
I completely understand the pain of letting go of someone you love. I went through a similar experience when my 10 year relationship ended. I couldn't imagine my life without him, so I tried everything to rekindle our love. I eventually found guidance from a spiritual counselor, and their support helped me bring him back into my life if you're open to it, seeking help from a spiritual counselor might make a difference.
How did you find your spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with them?
His name is Father Obah Eze and he's an incredible spiritual counselor known for helping restore relationships.
I just sought him up online thanks to your helpful information. remarkable
I just checked Father Obah Eze online, and he's really genuine. Thank you again ❤
Well once I asked someone
“How are you?”
And she said “Good how are you?”
And I said back “I’m good how are you?”
😭
Edit: (someone in the comments asked what happened after that)
She threw up and I’ve felt worthless and ashamed of myself ever since
hehe...it's coz u lack confidence..hihi
Welcome to my world lmao, im trying to better my people skills
asiimwe joweria YES! Glad you figured that one out.
That's funny
More than once for me 😂
She's so good at speaking, so confident and no stuttering or long pauses.
Michael Jacob she is the GOAT
Hi can you join me ? I'm looking for best speaker if u can plz
Plz msg me
@@manisham.k6258 stop begging Indian dude or chick . Have some self respect and dignity
Yes, the lady in blue has been doing this for a long time. 🤣
A really good and condensed 7min talk, I watched 4 times.
Here are notes I took and hope it helps other people like me.
• Set an intention for the conversation you want to get out of
• Smile to people
• What’s a good opening line?
◦ Start with simple greeting, like : “hey how are ya” don’t say something too intense.
◦ Complement are great second and third.
• Look for conversation sparks, find the cues of engagement, e.g. eyebrow raised, so you know they are interested in the topic. Find mutual likes.
• Ending a conversation
◦ Last impression is as important as the first impression
◦ shift to future-warding discussion
◦ Mention you are happy to chat and wish them best luck
• Approaching people: look for open gesture, be open gesture / pivot out when you want to be approached
• Get off your cellphone
• Tip for when you have no one to talk to on a party: a sweet spot is at the exit of the food line, that’s where people just got food and have no one talk to, and you can use your opening line “hey how are you”
Excellent synopsis 👍
Thank you!
WOW! Thank you :)
Thank you for that. Wishing you happy conversations 😊
Thanks man
Most of us Introverts have a hard time communicating with others because we have insecurities about ourselves.
It was great conversation .
I like snorting mushed bananas
ITS 1 AM AND IM WHEEZING
Introversion is nothing, just get a PHD in nuclear physics to boost your confidence or say your an Architect.. Either way you have to be employed of course. 🍷😉
I'm a introvert no problem.talking
Introverts, gather here coz this tips will come in handy 😂
Lol
You an introvert???
Extrovert here, actually I've been struggling to start conversations and even worse meaningful conversations.
IntroGang
Yeah 😆
Hello. I was listening to a neighbor that was talking to me and all of a sudden my phone rang. I didn't answer it. They said to answer it and I told them that I enjoy their conversation and that I enjoy listening to them. Usually robo calls interrupt, but I wanted the person that was talking to me to feel that their conversation was meaningful to me. It's called appreciation.
That's an excellent advice and really nice to say tho
Mums dying.... fk it ithink its a robo call
To the neighbour “ good weather today “...
well depends on who is calling
❤
My mind is also making a conversation with me while I'm conversing with someone
Oh man, I do that too!
Medicinal Marijuana totally ends the noisy mind and those voices!
@@Sammasambuddha medical alcohol can help with quieting the mind also🙂
I can't even have a conversation with myself!
Shout "shut up" at him and continue your unique inner conversation! That's the most important thing! :)
1. Think of intention before a conversation
2. Body language: hands visible, shoulders down, smile
3. Best opening: "Hello how are you?"
4. Sparks: eyebrows raise
5. Best ending: "Hey what are you up to this weekend?" -> "It's so great to speak with you, I wish a best luck on ...."
6. Pivot out when available for people to approach
7. Sweet spot to find someone to talk: grab a drink and stand beside the snack place
Where like yin and yang. I don't shut up. The girl always said you're show. It's not all natural practice, but always a trade off. I get nervous when people are watching me read and lost. But I am extremely good at blackjack, Im happy with it. I'm trying out the force the conversation. I'm sorry. I said I try like I said I didn't shut up
There's no recipe for how to be attractive or confident. Just be comfortable with yourself and the rest will come by itself. Honestly, if you feel good with yourself you will never care about anyone's opinion, in a nice way.
Find your Bliss people!
I do agree
Lmao i have been faking my personality to the point that idk who i am ✌😭
Absolutely 👍🏼
Your answer is helpful. I think. But then, I'm dumb enough to go ahead and ask how to be comfortable with myself? 😂
@@chimchimxchipi5854 I know
"Smile is the opening line"
We need a pandemic version of this 😭
you can smile with your eyes as well
Take the useless mask off always helps
@@dionysioskokkoris4340 you can also take the useless mask off as well
Eyebrow raise
@@cleabarlow8952 the thing is..I’m always unconsciously glaring at people..well that’s what my sisters tell me
random but don't you think the name Vanessa fits her literally perfectly
Yes you're right her Face+Hair = Vanessa
Some people you look at them and go... yeah that fits perfectly 🤣
Would you like to practice English with me pls.
It means butterfly
Idk if u know but a name #Sunny fits yr profile pic as well
I find the best conversations happen with people I have chemistry with. Its sadly a darn rare occurrence but lovely when it happens
So it is a numbers game.
For those of you that are having trouble getting past the “Hey how are you?”, try not to focus on the conversation ending before it has even began. Instead, focus on the first step that Vanessa mentioned which is setting the intent. Even ask about their hobbies or work. Whatever they’re answer, dig further into that and ask questions about it as though you will be attempting it soon. I personally love being able to gain a new perspective in such a short amount of time simply through another’s words.
power of confidence : th-cam.com/video/-w4i44m4Vpc/w-d-xo.html
I'm an introvert & shy & have been wanting to expanding my circle of influence. This really brings clarity on just how to start talking to people.
Same here....good luck :)
Introverted the way to go
Erica Farley Same here. Venessa is the savior when it comes to socializing.
You. Most be. A. Star. you have it 500000$%.
Read "how to win friends and influence people" and learn how to meditate trust me, I grew up very shy and introverted my entire life but I knew that I had this desire to get my message out into the world so I realized i had to learn not only how to talk to people but also how to influence a certain outcome that I desired, this can be used for both good and evil so use this information wisely, being around people often drained the life out of me and given that English was not my 1st language the idea of trying to start a conversation with someone made me want to crawl into a hole and disappear, so what I did is I forced myself into a situation where my survival depended on my ability to communicate with people and I picked up a commission only sales job, needless to say it took me a while but i got very well st what i did and after the years of education I can boil down the majority of my "success" to those 2 principles, learn and understand people, learn how to get people to like you, and learn how to meditate especially if you're an introvert so that you won't be drained after interacting with people, that's what meditation did for me it taught me how to preserve my energy and taught me how to use my energy to do what I want it to do when I want it to do it without exhausting myself, I use the meditation app called headspace but I think there are other free ones, now I'm working on a book that I am writing, a dream that I've always had, and am looking to do public speaking and starting a TH-cam channel to promote my books and ideas, something i never thought would be possible for me given my upbringing. Anyways I hope this helped.
Yes, I always say “Hi, how are you?” And then judging by their response I know how to go from there. Body language is key.
Yeah exactly
Heather Murphy where do you live
why i hate people, or is me?
mwhahahaaaa
Would you like to practice English with me pls
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I picked up my wife with this line.
Would you like some company. She said yes. It was a wrap from there. This was at work in the cafeteria. It took me a little bit to build up the courage to do that. Lol.
The hard part comes after the Hey, how are ya 😂
Have pre-planned answers for most occasions. We as humans love to connect with others. If still you have issues, put it on your Creator [as a Manufacturing Defect! LoL], you are not at fault for your mental-makeup or its perceived shortcomings, you excel some other areas!. Move on, life is too precious to be self-critical, laugh with world and world will laugh with you! -Blessings.
Yes agreed.. someone actually replying is a start....its not all on you.
Im still trying to figure the art of conversation myself.. i am an introvert but still like to say simple hello to people in passing.
The replies back are starting to be fewer these days. I say hi to everyone...i find older people or a dog lover wanting to stop to say hello to my dog are the only people who reply.
If they dont reply... its probably some one i dont want to talk to anyway.
@@paulchahal3095 "Manufacturing defect" hahahahahahah ! Thank you
Just go with your gut. It's not difficult. It's all in your mind, really.
The hard part is the hey how are you
The fact that I look up these kind of videos is pretty sad already.
Vanessa Van Edwards you are the G.O.A.T. I hope I meet you one day!!!!
Vanessa Van Edwards you are the G.O.A.T. I hope to meet you one day 🙏🏿
Exactly. My grandmother hadn't have any problems to talk to waaay older people at her job or vacation. I didn't have any problems to talk to doctors and understand and being curious about my cold or how my heart beats. I could talk in English at 10 (English is not my native language) and be confident with my half American half UK language. I was confident to talk to my male colleagues about girl problems and periods and they were thankful because I prepared them to understand their future girlfriends, wives and daughters. Since I started university I changed into an emotionally abused depressive dog
Trpy K dont worry. You are simply expanding your knowledge
Tell your mom
I was a bartender for years in a former life and I feel working in the night life industry really taught me a lot about how to communicate with, and read people.
Most, if not all, of what I learned is intuition so learning some science backed skills is very helpful.
Thank you.
Anything specific you could share ?
I'm introvert but I try to be more sociable. I just feel like If I can do I will have a lot of friends, new knowledges I've never know before, new attitudes and etc..
The foundation of the person who you are and the conversations that you have with other people is determined by the behavioural patterns that you saw when you were young, what other people made you felt and especially from your parents growing up. Break the pattern and love yourself, you are great and what ever you have to say and think is unique and every one will appreciate what you say.
It starts with loving yourself, accepting and knowing that you are overall great just as you are. Then eventually you'll love yourself more to improve everything about how you communicate.
What this video is missing is that you need to trully love and respect yourself in order to have great conversations with other people. The negative conversations you have yourself and the thoughts you have in your head is what's stopping you from having awesome and freeflowing conversations with people.
There are actual behaviors that people display that turns other people off. These bad behaviors needed to be iron out (For example, giving unsolicited advice under the belief that you're being honest/blunt). That's why there's a market for learning social skills.
@Bigfriendly1570 Sounds like Adhd My son has it, and he had the same issues.
@Bigfriendly1570 me too i get distracted easily and i cant pay attention to stuff anymore like i used too but its ok i hope you have goodluck
Water running in a stream has no plan. Yet it flows harmoniously, not resisting. So it is with conversation.
I really enjoyed learning about the body language. I didn't realize I might have been sending out a message of being less approachable than I intended. I have had alot of social anxiety in the past, still have some but I am much better now. I was going out last week for dinner with some folks I used to work with and I was really looking forward to it, but still had to get myself 'psyched up' for it. I did 2 things: I set my intention of having some great fun and laughs, and to be my genuine self. The other thing was that I had 1 question in mind for each person to ask. Night went great!
“Leaders can let you fail and yet not let you be a failure.” Sharing some love from small TH-camr
me: wants to talk
also me: wants to stop the endless convo without being rude
I RELATE SOOOO MUUUUUCH
like just like wtf this isn't funny so I prefer silence😂
It’s easy to head toward the end of a convo politely, but sometimes it’s hard to not end the convo awkwardly or abruptly especially with someone who isn’t good at picking up on cues that the convo is fizzling out, time to go, or it’s been going on for forever, etc. But love the future question/mention technique!
Having a mindset of knowing what you want to talk about is good.
Saw this video 4 years back when I started university. Now graduated and starting my career, I am back here to tell you that IT WORKS!! I am an extreme introvert and I made alot of freinds. And if not freinds but have build this capacity to talk to people.
That's amazing!
The Spanish are so good at saying good morning or good day to total strangers that they pass in the street. It can totally brighten your day when total stranger says this to you.😄
Ive been trying to do this for past few years...because it can really turn someones day around...not because it was from me.. just someone in general.
Hello...with a smile.... but finding more often than not people just give me a weird side look or keep going.. only a few reply back..
Its just a hello or good morning...or just morning...
Its not askin someone for coffee ...
Why are people so weird on replying back...ok it might not be a good morning for them...its not always a good morning for me either especially when someone just walks by....
People could just do anything even a grunt or nod or smile. Or a simple wave.
Im trying to figure out why people have stopped saying hello.
It does the opposite effect when you say hello to 15 people snd not one says hello back...then 16 says nice day out isnt it? Yes.. its beautiful out... or yes...enjoy your walk.feel bad ehen no one replies And it somehow makes the day better having a reply back...
Hola señor🙋♀️🙋♀️
Easier, yes. But it’s not true that many average-looking people aren’t good conversationalists. They work at it longer and harder and don’t waste time blaming and complaining.
who would do that in a city where you pass 5 people every second? that would seem kinda crazy to me. i do see people select a few random people out of the crowd to say hello or good day to
Beverley Roberts Gracias
I really like how simple but simultaneously novel your tips are.
Asking "how are you", open body language, and equal importance on 1st and last impressions. I will definitely be trying this formula out soon! Thank you!
During pandemic, “how are you?” “Backup 6 feet!”
😬🏃♀️🤭
Lmfao
Just hug them right away !
@Ferzzy It's a blessing in disguise. I've met a good amount of people that were desperately looking others to talk to that were not afraid to connect because of the virus. While I respect other people's decisions on their safety, I don't let them rule me. Some think I'm crazy, but most admire the bold stance.
0. Set an intention!
1. Hey how are you? (On approach)
2. Find common interests... follow what makes your conversational partner raise their eyebrows or say things like "oh really?"
3. Know when to end the conversation and do so by asking "what are you doing later today / tomorrow ? OK good luck with that and enjoy it!"
Thanks a lot for this Vanessa, I'm sure your helping lots of people (:
I wonder if you share this opinion: talking about ones passions and what one loves and is grateful for, focusing on that is better/ more attractive than criticism and complaint... staying in that genuinely grateful state requires me (personally) to meditate at least once a day.
summery: before Event set a Goal, Approach Person openly with a smile, "Hi, how are you?" find a common interest that creates spark (Person raises brows).
to end conversation: ask About future Events, wish them luck doing that
She forgot to mention our appearance as well. It’s easier to have a conversation with someone who is clean, smells, good, is well groomed, and has a nice style. For example this woman is gorgeous. Every guy in the room wants to chat with her.
Q.Hey hello how are you?
A. I have a boyfriend
Kamran Khan 😂😂😂
I ve said hi how are you.. or just the hi.... and the zombie walk right past... nothin..no hello no grunt no nod.
Icome from a small town where evem strangers say hello in passing... or at minimum a smile or nod.. even a shrug
Ok.... cool good chat.
Zombies.. everywhere.
Its the first word we learn besides mamma or daddy.... yet people have stopped saying a simple hello. Some might say hello if i have my dog with me. But even then sometimes another person with a dog... the dog is more friendly than the person.
Have people lost their basic hello or hi?
Like a hello or a hi means something more.
Dont worry ive had that same answer
Hi....
I have a gf / bf
Ok...Im not lookin.. im just saying hi!
Kamran Khan Your best response in that situation should be "So do I" and then laugh your ass off. If she laughs, you're in. You can then strike up a conversation.
1. She didn't expect that response and it throws her off her game and crashes thru her bitch walls. So she's immediately intrigued and entertained.
2. For the moment, she thinks you're gay so the flight or fight response is immediately removed.
3. You've made her laugh, you've crashed right thru her guard walls and you've taken away the threat of just some random guy hitting on her.
If you're comfortable with yourself you can play up the gay angle and get really lispy and queenish and talk about how fabulous her make up or nail colour or outfit or whatever you like, is.
Chicks CANNOT resist a guy who can play the moment like that. She'll be puddy in your hands.
And even if you bomb, just laugh at yourself and tell her how much of a jackass you are and apologize for waisting her time. Begin to walk away and she'll BEG you to stay and talk to her more.
😂😂😂😂😂😂
ssooooo cuteee
i can't believe some people still dislike this informative, interesting, and well done video ? She is trying to help us to get better.
WOW! I'm terrible with job interviews and this video has come at the right time for me. I'm going to take your free course on personal development and influence, because it's just what I need.
How did it go?
Meechl < same here. I still can't answer "what is your strength?"
How to Talk to Anyone with Ease and Confidence
Step 1- walk up to anyone and make noises with your mouth
Step 2- repeat step 1
DUUUUR HUUR HU DUURGH MMMMMMMMMM I LIKE GRAYONS
I am Groot
She: nice to meet u
Me:I am Groot
bzhsoh tvu sjsbvd kdusksvdhsjjsks
Hello
Mooooog taaaaaay oooooooom
Vision your outcome, work the q's, be at ease, be engaged, be genuine, be smart, work within their interest, set up for the later conversation.
Makes total sense. Probably natural for extroverts. Much was brought to light here. Thanks
I wish I was this smooth. I can only do this when I'm working but not socially.
You're very pretty
"Your smile is your opening line..." Yes, exactly. I teach my clients that non-verbal cues are just as powerful as verbal cues. They have the power to make all the difference when it comes to communicating and connecting with people.
I love people and I love the science of people. I really love listening to you, Vanessa Van Edwards! You are helping me to be the best version of myself.
Ending conversations politely has always been tricky; thanks for the tip.
This be good for me . Just came across this video today . So be watching some videos . Morning . Right now it is 7:54 am my time right now
Happy you found me! ❤
The next generation needs this more than anything - we don't get enough practice due to all our tech & social media. Kudos for sharing your insights!
I start talking to random people. After a few mins. I run out of words. I just fart to get the conversion more interesting.
oh you win lol :D
if you do this you are the mvp of social skills
@@vsatonthebeat4101 y
@@cesarrosasanchez1822 it’s an Alfa male move
Any introverts here?
Ungggghhhh..... I hate strangers starting with inquiring how I am. It's so insincere. When I don't have an "intention " the other person asking me how I am is often a nonstarter.
Thank you for these quick tips. I am a full time ride share driver and I am often analyzing how conversations go. I am the host in this environment and I have to follow my guest's lead in conversational habits. Thank you.
My pleasure! I hope they are helpful for you. :)
My anxiety is peaking just thinking about implementing her advice💀
lol I hear you
Same bro
She is so beautiful she could talk to me about anything anytime she wants
Start simple
God same
I LOVE learning what I have always done naturally - so I know how to share it with others to do for themselves. Thank you Vanessa & SOP!!!
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Makes so much sense never thought about these things lol the biggest thing for me is having the mindset to be open-minded
I normally start conversation by commenting about what everyone can relate to at that moment in time. Yes. I can speak to anyone.
I always feel like I'm the worst at conversations lol
hello how are you
Now i get it u dont even reply my how r u,
U must be very bad at conversation XD😄
Because that's the pattern that you saw, what other people made you felt and especially from your parents growing up. Break the pattern and love yourself, you are great and what ever you have to say and think is unique and every one will appreciate what you say.
It starts with loving yourself, accepting and knowing that you are overall great. Then eventually you'll love yourself more to improve everything about how you communicate.
What this video is missing is that you need to trully love and respect yourself in order to have great conversations with other people. The negative conversations you have yourself and the thoughts you have in your head is what's stopping you from having awesome and freeflowing conversations with people.
Would you like to practice English with me pls
@@naveene.c.5894 download buddytalk and talk with thousands of people in english
Someone: Hey, how are you?
Me: Alive Unfortunately.
Kwaisy :D you sound like an interesting person to talk to
Legit. Depression makes me not wanna talk to anyone period. Just let me do my job and go home at 5 pm. Pllllleeeeease. #SmallTalkIsPainful
😂😂😂
Relatable
Damn
I always say " sounds good " to end a conversation 😂
th-cam.com/video/kz_FQgDeFMk/w-d-xo.html
Sounds good to me too
That’s right way to understand anybody and use appropriate action .
Exactly
Me, finally walks up to my crush:
Me: “Hey, how are you?”
Him: “Great! I just asked my crush out and she said ‘yes’.”
Me: “that’s great...🙃
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😂😂😂😂😂😞😞😞
Me sees cute girl at party:
Me: How dress are you cute?
LMAOOOOO bro I would have to restart the conversation and walk back like I'm a whole different person
Do have your stupid
@@kevingalang9831 u do not smartness? yes thanks
That would be perfect 👌🏻 that way when you go to restart the conversation you’ve built that relaxed atmosphere. Instantly get someone laughing is the best start 😊 I would love that!
He is speaking the language of gods
Awsome explanations: Intension, Approach, Opener, Sparks, Body Language, Start of Conversation, Interest and Exits. You have explained the things in a simple way. 👍💫
I can listen to this girl talk on this subject forever! Love it!
Love to to hear this! Thanks for watching. :)
3:28 even the fly liked her when she said " Hi how are you " lol
Vanessa, I just gotta say, you absolutely nailed this one, this video is absolutely amazing and invaluable, I've read so much psychology and pickup material and they all touch upon little bits and bobs but you read one book to only get 1 point that really matters out of all of the main essential ones you mentioned. Thank You so much! and Keep doing what you are doing as this is amazing.
Awesome advice! You dont know how much people tell me: "Just go and talk to people itll happen naturally" Prepping a gameplan is exactly what i needed.
This woman is the first person I have seen out of the people who talk about this stuff, ie body language, pick up lines, dating strategies, etc. who is actually intelligent, entertaining and likeable.
Very useful tips for a nice conversation, open hands work really well (makes you look open and honest), "Hey! How are you" and "Hey! how do you do" could be nice starters for a healthy and long interesting conversation. Go ahead, don't feel low while talking to someone looking smarter than you. You too can win hearts. The conversation is the key to starting a healthy relationship.
We're so glad you found these tips useful!
I love this!!! I’ve always considered myself an extroverted introvert because I’m fine in small groups or at work but throw me in a big group of people and I have a hard time navigating. Great tips!
you're probably an ambivert.
I should have seen this when I was at a outdoors bar! I felt like I was missing some cues but I realize now why! Thank you xx
Hello, how are you? I'm Andy. I was a very shy person. These techniques really work and have helped me to start conversations with others. Thank you so much.
Wow..i like her.she is very confident and she knows what is she talking about😍😍
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I can finally talk to my family thank you so much for teaching me
I really need your amazing tips on how to have a conversation with anyone because I'm not that really good in talking to people I just met. Your advice is just right for me and I hope I can apply it someday for business and social purposes.
I like it. Trying to get better on approaching people and also ending a conversation.
A very small conversation starter that I've actually found is really useful:
What's your least favorite movie, song, show, etc.
By asking for their least favorite instead of favorite, it not only surprises them but gets a more genuine answer
Going to give these a try!! I tend to be really shy or look unapproachable at work events
Steph: You look perfect! Look thru the eyes of your Creator and creator[your Mom]! Thou shalt not be self-critical, it is insult to your Creator/creator! Enjoy life. Others do not give bread and butter to you, Creator(s) do! -Blessings
paul chahal Thank you!
@@StephanieStoven Another concept: We humans think as if we are eternal; that is illusion. We are leaking life by each breath like a tap losing water from a water-tank. Do not let life to waste. Just bump into person U love, now you are on a mission to use every second of life, and get going showering your emotions. Humans are not your judges. No one give you even a free cup of coffee! So shed their burden to control you to their whims! You are as free as Creators! And bliss will flow into your life like air rushes into vacuum!
hi
paul chahal Wow - that is awesome - thank you for writing that! I'm totally saving that (I'll quote you of course)
me watching a 7 min video expecting it to cure my lifelong problem 💀
I've found most people, even extroverted conversationalists are usually very understanding with shyness or awkwardness. You could say "sorry I'm being so awkward" or something like that and people usually respond "oh me too! Im so awkward sometimes." Or "eh don't worry you're fine."
From my personal experience, try being more observant with the people you interact with. If you notice they got a new haircut or car, you could bring that up in conversation. Ask questions and listen as best you can. "How's the family?" Or "What are you up to these days?". Just like that, you're a pro! (Well not really but A for effort)
good stuff, vanessa! this would help people who are awkward but don't mean to be. my brother is so painfully shy, so he would benefit from this. thanks.
Really loved the tips especially the part about changing minds to the future before you leave a conversation, only God knows how many times I've ended a conversation with a really awkward tone
You. Are. Amazing.
Wait.
Hey, how are you?
You. Are. Amazing!
Oh, hi Mark!
James Hofheins Oh really?! 🤨
James Hofheins I am very fine
Nice
@@LatAm13 lol
The best way to continue conversations is through key word association, aka “threading.” This is the engine of conversation which is why you need to actually listen to notice the key words. You can pick any key word in someone’s sentence and use it to transition to an associated topic at will.
I did call colds in my job for about 12 years. I remember it was so hard and scary to approach to people I didn't know. Now, no one can't stop me🤣🤣🤣like Bob proctor says. You learn by repetition until all becomes naturally
pauses, lulls, and silence are not BAD.
Good tips and would work with inlaws and business / networking functions pretty well where conversation is mostly nothingness and you need effective tricks to not stumble over the awkwardness. Occasionally, those nothing conversations at lame events get surprisingly interesting and make the event a lot more fun, so I'm sure steering into the conversation is the most important part. Steering out of the conversation, I don't generally care about, lol.
Awesome strategies, I will definitely use them in the work place tomorrow, thanks Vanessa!
Yay I'm glad to hear this! My pleasure!
Vanessa. What to do when you genuinely don't like talking to people?.... I feel its overrated and I'm just not interested in most of what they say. Unfortunately, my life doesn't allow me to just not talk to people. Most days I feel I would be perfectly happy being the only person on the planet. My wife and kids are great, but other than that, its just too much work. Not a social anxiety issue-just not into people.
i have the same issue as you. I hate it when random people or strangers that I am alone with or next to me begin talking to me. I find it annoying when people try to create artificial conversation. If it is someone who I will eventually become friendly with such as an in-law or a classmate or a friend of a friend then I will have more interest in what they have to say.
Hey How are ya? Did ya catch the ball game last night?
uret7 no i didnt
+Slappy McSlapface You should have the cubs won. i'm not a cubs fan but I'm glad they got it. Their chance of repeating is not so good, though i don't expect the fans are expecting they will do so. I've been to 5 cubs games over the years, i try to catch one if I'm ever near Chicago. Wrigley Field is beautiful and their fans are awesome, i tried to blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. AND , blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, ALSO blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah AND lah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Also, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, AND blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
With conversation, it is a two way street. Its nice when people acknowledge us and are interested in what
we have to say....then we have to make a mental note and stop talking about "me" and ask them questions
about them. Also, keep conversations light, if these folks start talking too deep, or check your watch
and excuse yourself.
# First rule: intention
# Open body language, smile
# Opener: hi, how are you
# Asking questions to find sparks (non verbal cues)
# Ending a conversation : ask about future
plans (weekend plans), then end the conversation.
how does identifying the intention beforehand helps?
@@mzorkea It focuses your thoughts and helps you generate the questions to ask while you are looking for 'sparks'.
What if you ask someone what they're doing this evening or this weekend and they think you're asking them out, or want to invite them to something, when really you're just curious?
khloe38 same thoughts a while ago but in the convo, Vanessa didnt push through and just said her well wishes for their future endeavors. She never said she'd like to join them.
Thats their problem.
khloe38 that is why I do not like to ask this question
I'm free this weekend, if that's what you're getting at ;)
khloe38 Would you say people are usually interested in the other person when they ask someone that question?
The best teacher of how to be a better person that I feel happy and enjoying her videos. ✨💌
This is amazing! Really helpful tips that are simple to grasp and doable. Where was I when this was uploaded 4 years ago😭
I feel like this is a video that would be shown to an alien species trying to learn to fit into to human society, or ... me.
Amei essa conversa!! Ótima, para praticar meu LISTENING!!!
th-cam.com/video/Rb1sBRpoGF4/w-d-xo.html
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