4 months of no contact, I lost 35 lbs, gained muscle, quit my job, started 2 companies and half way finished with my first album. Thank you so much Rory and all of you for the amazing words of power. Much Love 💯
This is why Dumpees upgrade and never really look back. Why? We grow, we change we did the work. They didnt...they chose a rebound etc while we upgraded for better. When they come back we dont want them.
Exactly..if there is dissatisfaction it should be discussed in a productive way and not be accusatory and defensive in the delivery.it should be dealt with in a manner that would be constructive and not run away from it cuz the "dumpee" would feel hurt.proper communication should be a must and not half-assed attempt at communication.
oh yeah? What about trying for more than 3 years without results? What about me always trying to work things out, wanting to talk to him and him never making an effort to be better for me? What about me always wanting to be the best for him, support him, and be with him in every situation but him not doing the same? I dumped him, I'm hurting like hell, I love him to death but I'm not a coward
That last part really hit me. That they don't feel the call for self-improvement since they were the one who ended it, but you feel the call. And you become the more improved, amazing person because of it, while they stay the same. 😊
Amanda it's so true I'm improving every day both mentally and physically. I still miss her but I focus on what I can achieve for myself. She isn't working on herself and she has had ,,2 dates both lasted 5weeks I think she had a one night stand with a woman ,I'm okay with all of this to me I see her as confused and struggling
Rory, your words are golden. I was working on myself in the beginning for my ex to come back. With time I’ve come to realize that it really isn’t for her but this is for me. And honestly I’m so happy with myself and my recent achievements that it doesn’t matter anymore that I have my ex in my life or not. Life is so much better when you can love yourself, I found my self back again!
Abhishek Bhowmick Yes, yes, yes!!! I agree. At first we are so heartbroken bc somehow along the way we seemed to have lost ourselves in the other and therefore we think our worth depends on them, if they will accept us back or not. What I have learned and I'm so thankful that I have is that it ALL starts and ends w/ us! It was never about another person loving or accepting us, it's about us loving and accepting us!!! We MUST be our BIGGEST fans, everything else is just a Blessing~ Love is a gift, gifts are meant for giving. We cannot give what we ourselves do not possess. Great for U my friend!!! 🙌🏻✨☺️
@Katelin Erdos Try and set up a casual meet up, but he must be the one to come to you. My ex wanted to meet, and we spent the day together. But when you talk with him, don't bring up the relationship, just about how things have been going with you personally...
over three months in, i've lost 60lbs, reading books (which i've never done), on an awesome diet, getting better sleep and feeling way more confident then ever.... so many things have changed...
11 months into my breakup. I am doing 90% better. I even posted on my FB cover page a quote I came up with, "In my pursuit to find someone to love, I found out who I am and learned how to love myself, instead."
I dont know your social media use, but normally somebody posting things like that is a major red flag to me that somebody isnt doing that well. But maybe Im just a cynical person, hope you are legit standing behind that quote and dont feel a need to share it to others to get outside validation. Maybe you are just the kind of person who shares a lot and Im reading this all wrong.
@@sfa-voiceofafrica there is no time limit for healing. You obviously never done this before, because that is the worst advice you can give someone. Why do you need someone to be happy? Only if you are codependent.
I needed this!! He left me at my most crucial time of my life. I’m trying to get it together to do better and not give him the satisfaction of breaking up with me.
After so many years of existence, consuming all this self help stuff and trying, I'm finally not having to try and just be and I "get it". I am getting the self-soothing, the self-loving, and it feels amazing. Yoga, meditation, understanding my attachment theory and taking CBT workshops to understand myself have helped tremendously
I dont want my ex to come back because she is insecure, afraid to be alone or even because she misses me. Im gonna meet up with her next week and if she is gonna straight up wanna get together again, its a big no from me. You see I want her to see the change Ive made, I want her to fall back in love with me and I want her to also realize her part in the break up and improve herself. I still love her and it would break my heart if I had to tell her it isnt a good idea to get back together. But I need a new relationship build on trust and mutual understanding. Not on fear and insecurities. I actually want to go through the process rather then having her throw herself back at me. There were issues, Im ready to take responsibility for my part and solve the things that I did wrong. Im working on that the past 4 months. I only expect her to do the same and if she really wants to get back together she better be prepared to put in the effort and fight for me, just as I did for her, or better said, for myself. I dont need a relationship, but I would like to have one, with her, if we can work things out. I expect that she wont be capable of understanding this. I expect that we dont get back together. But Im willing to give it another shot, a second chance for us, if not at least to get some closure maybe. I’ll see next week what she has to say for herself.
I never commented on a youtube video, this is my 1st time. I feel compelled to express my gratitude. Thank you for making the choice the choice to care. I have seen approximately 10 videos and they're all what i needed but I could use a one on one. If you could manage to make the time for me it would mean a lot more to me. I rather not broadcast my details on the web. I wish everyone watching and making these videos happy holidays
It’s nice to know I’m not the only one going though a heartbreak at the moment. It sucks knowing things could’ve been different if I weren’t so narrow minded.
One thing for you guys.Do you wanna be with a person who changes you for another in matter of days weeks?I mean I suffered from my break-up too,but let me tell you it's better now than later.Every one has somebody in this world's we are almost 7 billion.You guys suffer because you loved them a lot and it's a loss for you.If the would love you the same way as you did they would never left.Remember every relationship is a lesson learn from your mistakes and be a better person.And don't be sad someone is waiting for you .I wish everyone a good life,lots of love,and happiness.
After almost 6 months of no contact my ex started liking my friend’s picture where I was in on social media. He tagged me few weeks ago on Instagram. Prior this happened I already blocked him from everywhere. Seeing his post were not helping me moving on. Feel much better and I’m dating someone new with a lot of potential. I’m so excited about what’s going happen.
Hi, obviously it is around this sixth month when they try to breadcrumb us, mine did the same but i didn't fall for this... honestly don't want him anymore and managed to see his true face...
I was dumped at Xmas. My ex helped me regain my health and confidence. Helped me with my relationship with my kids. Supported me mentally and emotionally and then when I regained my life and over all well being..... Fitness, joined a new band, better outlook..... She dumped me. All the hard work and she didn't stick around to see the reinvented, rebooted, me.
The arguments in this video help me to be more sure of what I am doing as of improving myself and making better changes. I have thought and learned a lot about myself and the relationship after the breakup, and these are positive aspects as they help me to be wiser and hopefully will make better choices as to not hurt myself & others in the future. Life is not always easy and yet we could still be strong and move forward when misfortune happens. I think that's the beauty of life. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and being sincere in helping your audience instead of giving the "tricks" to get your ex back as they basically don't work.
Glad I saw this. I was dumped a month ago. So far I've lost 40lbs nearing my 1st goal of 50lbs. I've started up my pickle business (dont ask, just loving doing it) succeeding in my job but, looking to go into radiology. And I've deleted Facebook because I was using it for validation (been off for facebook 2 weeks now and i feel peaceful and less stressed in my life). It was a revenge thing the first couple of weeks but, I just feel good about me now and doing things for me!
I like the needle comparison. We build it up in our head as this horrible thing that hurts, when in reality being alone is good for you and allows you to find yourself.
Bro.. I went thru a situation last year and your videos helped me grow.. People it's TRUE work on your self and dont fears the needle.. Lov err yourself
I didn't expect to meet such an amazing woman so soon after my ex broke up with me. I don't want my ex back but I'm not over it yet. This makes me hesitant about getting involved with this new person. Funny thing is by me being hesitant it's making this new woman pursue me that much more!
Thanks for your wisdom. I left my social media on public and noticed they are peeping in. 🤔 So self improvement for your self feels better than for someone else
Trust me, i just did all your advice and it gave me more confident instead of thinking when my ex will contact me back. I feel that i no longer need her. If she come back then we will give a shot but if don't then i am still happy because of my progress. 😊
Proud of how far I’ve come. I was definitely in a great place when I started my relationship (happy being single) and I’ve been secure in myself and still working on myself during my relationship. My ex couldn’t step up to the plate and left for… whatever reason they justified to themselves. 45 days in and I’ve come so far with my healing because of the resilient person I am, and tonight I made a nice big juicy post about the people who stay in my life, making sure to highlight all the things I’ve been out doing and thriving, so there is the added bonus my ex might see it and be slapping themselves. Whatever, I’m feeling good about myself and my ability to form close bonds and all of my progress and it deserves to be celebrated ❤️
My ex is in a rebound right after breaking up with me…and yet when I made it known on social media that my career is progressing and I’m taking an interesting in investments for passive income, they are now getting friends to ask about me and are avoiding social media more now Interesting 👊🏻
I Love being alone, I like myself and Im interesting... lots fun things to do... dumper? What? Why you would put yourself in a situation like that, is Crazy.... Never care more than they do... simple!
Rory 100% on the money Ive out grown my ex ... she still holds a place in my heart as all ex's do .... but now it makes me smile ..... self improvement is key to attracting high value people into your life. Im currently dating a published Model and she is crazy about me ... flying me to her photo shoots and i refer to video 167 When we love YOURSELVES the beauty happens Thank you
Honestly very well said Rory, i shall admit though, i have been watching your content for two days, and it made me feel better, however ( and i realize that this is normal ), i have moments of sadness panic at least twice a day, and i switch from being normal to that narrow dark room surrounding me, i know i can do it, but man these breakups are the worst thing i have experienced yet. You know how painful, while you were honest and loving and caring and she goes back to her old boyfriend that she knew for 11 years, while you had only 4 months with her, she came back to him because she showed him my messages, so she made him jealous and he finally told her his feelings, and she said yes, and she told me that this is all she was wanting for a long time, and you know the rest, can we be friends as it will hurt me if we are not...blablabla, i showed no emotions and told her good luck with him even before i watched these videos, i stayed polite and all ( if that tell you a little about me), Rory, it really sucks bro when you are so nice and people take advantage of you, she knew i was good looking and career advanced then him, she used this opportunity to get him back, that is what hurt me the most, not the fact that we broke up. Thanks for your videos bro, they are helping me a lot. ( people are mean man )
Yea I got left by a few exes in my 20s because of their baby fathers and attachment to them. It happens. You were a rebound. I notice that women never discuss the closeness and the time lenth of being broken up. If they do talk about thier exes they bash them. A rebound never knows that hes just a pain killer until their ex comes back.
I'm keeping your videos as a podcast list. I got alot to catch up on. I'm in the phase of month 4 since the breakup. He contacted me twice already. I dont know what to do so I'm ignoring him. The basic how are you texts. I worked on myself so much & realized so many things after the breakup. Love him but....I'm scard as hell.. I really dont wanna start over. The pain. I been super distant. He wanted the breakup so I gave it to him.
I stop reaching out to my ex-boyfriend when I know he starts a new relationship. I decided to move on my life live a better. I'm wondering why he still checks my Instagram almost every day but I stop post anything I was telling myself if he misses he will reach out to me if he didn't mean he was happy with his new relationship so I need to live well as compared to last time
Christy HuangXy we are in similar situation there. He are in new relationship and seem happy. I’m happy for him. He move to a new country so I’m focus on myself and this new relationship I’m in. That makes me realize why it didn’t worked out in the first place. You will find someone better and will see why he wasn’t the one for you.
You did the personal work, you did the hard thing and changed for the beter, they found a rebound becuse they think its a race to get a new partner and to soth the pain of you not being there and dident change. Dont make the same mistake, show them that you are ok with being alone, becuse being alone and being lonely are two completly diffrent thing. You love yourself and dont need aproval or validation from someone ells. And when they realise that you did the right thing and they took the easy way out, they will se the true value you hade and the strenght to you have to make that change.
Denzel hi I’m blocked from his phone and his Instagram but still friended on FB with limited option to comments. Does that mean I need to unfriend him on Fb?
@@thedeedee Same. I think that keeps with the natural order of things and is healthier overall because it discourages obsession or comparison (which is only ever superficial in terms of social media).
Yeah I know.... that’s the hard part. My last ex popped back up after about 9 months of not talking and being apart. Nothing came of it and I was in another relationship I’m trying to get back now.
i’m the dumper. my ex was treating me like ass for a week and ahalf. unaffectionate, saying some crappy things etc. then i looked through her phone and she had hit up this ex chick that she had this on again off again situationship telling her she missed her and asking when they could hangout etc. i ended the relationship. but i still wanted to try and work things out and tried giving her a week or two and asked again. she didn’t. so i’m done. we weren’t dating long but it was long enough to fall inlove with her and her 3 children. and it breaks my heart to have to walk away from them. i broke up with 4 people that day. their father is deceased and so i started talking on a father role. only to have that shit done to me.
Hi! I am working on my physical aspect and your video reminds me that chocolate bars are not worth eating when I have so much to gain... namely achieving my goal.
My ex and I talked marriage 2 weeks before and she told me she loved me the day before she dumped me, that was almost 3 months ago. My depression hit so hard I've got scars all over my right arm from knives, idk what to do...I'm in fulltime counseling and on meds to help my depression but nothing is working
Can’t wait for the book. Rory... I have a topic I think many of us re-attracting someone or even in a relationship have which is “when they back away... “ if you could touch on this subject that would be great. Seems my girl is always at battle with what she wants with me and it drives me bonkers. Thanks 🙏🏻
My relationship of 7 months ended about a month ago, and I followed your advice on no contact. I recently started a new job and my ex texted me congratulating me. We have been texting for a few days, just chit chat and a bit of catching up. I kept the talks light hearted, and didn't make an effort to keep the conversation going if it died off. She's been initiating most of the texting but it's been about a week now. Should I make an effort to go back to no contact if I feel like she's texting me just to see if i'm still in back-up plan mode? I don't want her to think of me just as a friend, and the way the conversations are going I feel like things are heading in that direction. We've been talking quite frequently since the break up and I don't think there's been enough time for her to truly feel the break up. Should I tell her I don't want to settle for being friends because I think we're worth more than that and resume no contact, or just keep the casual conversations going?
Ask yourself: What do you gain from those conversations? If you think you want her back, ask her out to hang out. You will not win her back from text messages only. But then again you also have to ask yourself this: Why did the break up occur in the first place? What was the deal breaker? And if you realize what actually went wrong, you have to ask yourself this last question: Can we fix this together, or are we going to break up again in a few months because the problems of the past will start showing up again? If you think that you are not ready for anything of this, just stick to no contact. Give her an irrelevant answer if you like, but do not give her your attention anymore.
What if the dumper is a man whom is well off on wealth and has a high paying job.. He is working out etc and can go do what ever he wants to do etc. But me I am not a wealthy person. I am average. Yes I own a business but wanting ro evolve that business to make it better make me better. What I am far from him. Gave geniune love. Not what most girls are like I guess. So Yes I work on myself. Tell me how to attract that Dumper back. Even if I might or I might not want to go back if he even decided and how can I be powerful. In that sense? He reached out 3 times two of them to see if I was ok. In respect I answered back later. Short and simple. I am in. NC now. I dont have a desire. To even wanr to reach out. It is time for me now. Stir the courage to work on me. 2 break up and we broke up 2 weeks ago. He did light up my world. But I dont deserve what the things he said in the break up we never faught. Plus I got him thru his hard times of emotions with his losses and quarrantine. Now it is time for his summer fun. Please let me know and respond.. I truly would appreciate feed back from you. Plus he spent 3 times a week with me and text everyday. I would never see the other side of the luxuries or having a family. That I can call my own. I wanted the whole package. But then I see I need to still work on me and my insecurities too.
Hi Rory, I no longer yearn for my ex anymore, neither do I wanna contact them. Now, the tables have turned. They are always the one who initiates contact. I have realised my worth and I am not waiting around for them anymore. Like you said, I would love to be in a relationship but I DON'T NEED a relationship anymore. But my question is why do I still want to listen to videos about exes, no contacts and moving on etc. I used to play it before bedtime and I feel good listening to your videos and using them like lullabies.
Rene April i can relate. I think it’s becoming a routine watching these videos 😂 I don’t even desperate about getting my ex back. I just like listening to these videos haha
pfffffff... she dumped me after a short term relationship. I went no contact. I wouldn't think she is insecure. She most likely jumped to the next guy,... :(
what are you more afraid of? being alone or the fear of being alone? im have bpd and this makes me feel so happy to hear. i love myself too much and i love being by myself!!! i just realize that im just scared to be alone forever
i did sonething stupid i begged my ex for another chance i was blowing up his phone now he ignores my calls probably blocked me ....im so sad i guess i have no chouce but to go no contact now....i want him back ...i was being needy.. i guess ive ruined my chances. ....
I feel like I fucked up here because I accidentally let on how I was hurt and I also tried to kind of be friends with him a month after starting no contAct but then I’m back doing it again after talking to him at that point for maybe three weeks. Not every single day. It’s been a month since we talked now. I told him I’m not talking to him because it hurts. Wondering if I should just send him the message that I’m not going to be his friend and if he regrets it he can talk to me. Don’t know if that would just interrupt the no contact.
My ex walked out and the next afternoon was on the socials adding girls and blocked me on everything, erased all traces of me, and then messaged a girl he had held onto from before... He isn't gonna come back, is he?
I’m not sure who the dump her is because my girlfriend wanted to go on a break. And then I decided to cut it off because I felt like she was going to play with me. So I am at the dumper or she is
Oh he never was alone he kept his ex on the side. Unbeknown to me. He didn't just dump me he went directly to her. She wouldn't leave us alone. He was to weak to tell me what was going on. So no he never was alone. He never is alone he always has someone kissing his butt. He is a good dancer very musical. That is all he has going for him. That is what I saw also. His dancing and musical talent. I could write a book on this guy. I have known him for a long, long time. He has many secrets that he confided in me. I could cause alot of crap for him. But WHY. GREAT ADVICE AS USUAL.
The best video I have seen today ,last week my ex (the wicked witch of the north ) came back to check on me I thought she wanted to come back 2 my arms she acted so nice and lovely 5 days later she blocked me and ignored me again now I know y 😂😂😂😂
this is sad for someone that dumped a person to feel bad after you have moved on and not be bothered...this person is not in their right mind they should have not broke up and thought about it before they made the choice. This is stupid and unwise because you may lose a great relationship and the people that were dumped will never feel comfortable in the relationship because they will be anxious and uncomfortable thinking they would be dumped again so why go back just move on. The problem is not the one dumped it is the dumper because they have serious insecurities and they do not know their worth. Maybe I will make videos to show the one that was dumped how to move on and not look back believe me this is possible and you will find better while they are still not right in their mind. Also if they were the problem then leave this person alone because they will just messed up in every relationship until they know their worth.
I'm back in contact with my ex and we talk every day and have been for almost a month now but he hasn't said he loves me or anything like that And it bothers me that he doesn't say it...how long should I wait? What should I do? I'm starting to feel like I want to pull away again?
@@erosvera9945 thank you...I try to but sometimes it's hard...I miss some of the things we used to do before the breakup...and I have bad anxiety and doubt how people feel about me if they don't tell me...and I know I can live without him and I don't need him to love me to survive but I want him to love me...
I understand u, but if you keep thinking of that anxiety it will come up to the surface. Take it easy you dont want to lose him again do you! So just enyoj the time with him and you guys will do maybe better things togather.
Who dumped who? Also, if you want a relationship with someone, never ask for it. Your goal should be to have great fun at each interaction; repeat this enough times, and things would flow naturally.
Been broken up and in NC for a month. I would like a new relationship and am working on myself. She has my old laptop and a few other things of mine I'd like back but am not sure how to handle it. Help?
My ex boyfriend dump me, we works in same department. After few month of no contact, he suddenly blocked me on social media. Which is i dont understand because, we already unfriend and unfollowed each other. So he cannot saw my facebook and instagram bcse it privacy, then he blocked me out of blue. The funny thing is, on his birthday, he blocked me. I was like, ehhh, what did I do. 😅 i really dont understand what my ex problem.
I guess in my case I'm never getting back my ex. She dumped me because we were both jobless at the time and right after she broke up with me she got a job through competitive exam and she seems to be living a happy life since then. We were together for 4 good years and she ended the relationship in end of October. Have been in no contact for a month now. I am improving myself as a man God wants me to be and working hard in my studies.
I thought the dumper should be happy that dumpee is happy and working on self.. After all some last words from the dumper was to wish the dumpee the best in the world..
No. Every breakup essentially becomes an ego competition. It's constantly comparing your lives to your ex -- if one is doing better, other feels like shit. Or vice versa. Give 5 years to NC, and see your ex across the street being all successful and attractive -- it'll make you feel like trash. To protect your heart, keep upgrading yourself. You must always have the upper hand.
What if he broke up with me after 5 years, then wanted to get back together six months later and I made the mistake of taking him back only to have him break up with me again a week later saying he couldn't commit and was feeling too much pressure. Think he will regret losing me or did I mess that up by lowering my worth in taking him back? (I've now been no contact six months after second breakup)
My Ex left by text after a long relationship + hooked up with a work colleague straight away. I won’t talk to him now but he is putting loved up holiday pics all over social media which bothers my kids. I am bothered about how can someone live next to you every day + not say a word then leave the whole family for a new life?
Hi Rory! You're really great! I imagine you as my real personal friend that i share a bucket of beer with. Can you make a video about being dumped twice by the same ex? Or something related to that. That will help my situation and probably others', too. Thanks a lot!
I had a good short relationship for three months with a guy. Everything was going well till after three months , he said he is not ready for relationship even though he thought he is. Im in no contact on my third week. So hard to move on! 😔😔😔😔
When you realise your worth.. their game is up...
Best comment I have ever cone a cross
Bang !
4 months of no contact, I lost 35 lbs, gained muscle, quit my job, started 2 companies and half way finished with my first album. Thank you so much Rory and all of you for the amazing words of power. Much Love 💯
Damn that's nice
Daaaamn
Go you amazing person you!
//M\\EGA //M\\AyNe awesome! Best wishes to you on your journey through life! 🌹
@@PeaceDayCortez Thank you, its been a hell of a journey but its just the beginning.
Don’t take them back... if they want to walk out of your life, “let them go”
they decided to end things. let's give them the freedom they asked for (forever) :)
This is why Dumpees upgrade and never really look back. Why? We grow, we change we did the work. They didnt...they chose a rebound etc while we upgraded for better. When they come back we dont want them.
Yes! 💯
Fuck, yeah! You're on fire!
Agreed on this.
True true true
Truth
I like this one. Sort of puts the 'dumper' in their place because they took the cowards' way out instead of trying to work it out like adults. :)
Agree
Exactly..if there is dissatisfaction it should be discussed in a productive way and not be accusatory and defensive in the delivery.it should be dealt with in a manner that would be constructive and not run away from it cuz the "dumpee" would feel hurt.proper communication should be a must and not half-assed attempt at communication.
Exactly
Not all the time, sometimes they’ve tried hard, until they’re really tired and they’re just better off without the rs.
oh yeah? What about trying for more than 3 years without results? What about me always trying to work things out, wanting to talk to him and him never making an effort to be better for me? What about me always wanting to be the best for him, support him, and be with him in every situation but him not doing the same? I dumped him, I'm hurting like hell, I love him to death but I'm not a coward
That last part really hit me. That they don't feel the call for self-improvement since they were the one who ended it, but you feel the call. And you become the more improved, amazing person because of it, while they stay the same.
😊
Amanda it's so true I'm improving every day both mentally and physically. I still miss her but I focus on what I can achieve for myself. She isn't working on herself and she has had ,,2 dates both lasted 5weeks I think she had a one night stand with a woman ,I'm okay with all of this to me I see her as confused and struggling
Rory, your words are golden. I was working on myself in the beginning for my ex to come back. With time I’ve come to realize that it really isn’t for her but this is for me. And honestly I’m so happy with myself and my recent achievements that it doesn’t matter anymore that I have my ex in my life or not. Life is so much better when you can love yourself, I found my self back again!
Shotti .. agreed bro
I hope to get to that point someday, soon.
That’s why u do no contact keep it up! Stay strong
Abhishek Bhowmick Yes, yes, yes!!! I agree. At first we are so heartbroken bc somehow along the way we seemed to have lost ourselves in the other and therefore we think our worth depends on them, if they will accept us back or not. What I have learned and I'm so thankful that I have is that it ALL starts and ends w/ us! It was never about another person loving or accepting us, it's about us loving and accepting us!!!
We MUST be our BIGGEST fans, everything else is just a Blessing~ Love is a gift, gifts are meant for giving. We cannot give what we ourselves do not possess.
Great for U my friend!!!
🙌🏻✨☺️
@Katelin Erdos Try and set up a casual meet up, but he must be the one to come to you. My ex wanted to meet, and we spent the day together. But when you talk with him, don't bring up the relationship, just about how things have been going with you personally...
over three months in, i've lost 60lbs, reading books (which i've never done), on an awesome diet, getting better sleep and feeling way more confident then ever.... so many things have changed...
11 months into my breakup. I am doing 90% better. I even posted on my FB cover page a quote I came up with, "In my pursuit to find someone to love, I found out who I am and learned how to love myself, instead."
I dont know your social media use, but normally somebody posting things like that is a major red flag to me that somebody isnt doing that well. But maybe Im just a cynical person, hope you are legit standing behind that quote and dont feel a need to share it to others to get outside validation. Maybe you are just the kind of person who shares a lot and Im reading this all wrong.
I stay clear of anyone who quotes stuff like that
@@Seren2010kinder , then you sadly have a long way to go. Best of luck, buddy.
@@VidaRebornLonewolf 11 months is too long, find someone else to love.
@@sfa-voiceofafrica there is no time limit for healing. You obviously never done this before, because that is the worst advice you can give someone. Why do you need someone to be happy? Only if you are codependent.
I needed this!! He left me at my most crucial time of my life. I’m trying to get it together to do better and not give him the satisfaction of breaking up with me.
@Jimah Odianosen hi
Terrible to hear that, yeah my ex left after 2 weeks of my mums death, some people are so shallow. Hope you are doing well. Good luck to you.
Same.
After so many years of existence, consuming all this self help stuff and trying, I'm finally not having to try and just be and I "get it". I am getting the self-soothing, the self-loving, and it feels amazing. Yoga, meditation, understanding my attachment theory and taking CBT workshops to understand myself have helped tremendously
I dont want my ex to come back because she is insecure, afraid to be alone or even because she misses me. Im gonna meet up with her next week and if she is gonna straight up wanna get together again, its a big no from me.
You see I want her to see the change Ive made, I want her to fall back in love with me and I want her to also realize her part in the break up and improve herself.
I still love her and it would break my heart if I had to tell her it isnt a good idea to get back together. But I need a new relationship build on trust and mutual understanding. Not on fear and insecurities.
I actually want to go through the process rather then having her throw herself back at me. There were issues, Im ready to take responsibility for my part and solve the things that I did wrong. Im working on that the past 4 months. I only expect her to do the same and if she really wants to get back together she better be prepared to put in the effort and fight for me, just as I did for her, or better said, for myself.
I dont need a relationship, but I would like to have one, with her, if we can work things out.
I expect that she wont be capable of understanding this. I expect that we dont get back together. But Im willing to give it another shot, a second chance for us, if not at least to get some closure maybe. I’ll see next week what she has to say for herself.
Good luck!
Godspeed warrior!!!!!
Keep us updated please! Good luck
Yea keep us updated man
How did it go
I never commented on a youtube video, this is my 1st time. I feel compelled to express my gratitude.
Thank you for making the choice the choice to care. I have seen approximately 10 videos and they're all what i needed but I could use a one on one. If you could manage to make the time for me it would mean a lot more to me. I rather not broadcast my details on the web. I wish everyone watching and making these videos happy holidays
when you feel like you lost something, this thing has more value for you than before. Let's work on ourselves, they will realize what they lost :)
It’s nice to know I’m not the only one going though a heartbreak at the moment. It sucks knowing things could’ve been different if I weren’t so narrow minded.
Random but any update? How are you feeling now? Im 3 weeks out from a breakup of a 4 year relationship and it's been devistating.
@@ieditvideosfr how have you been? 2 years now, got any update? i just got heart broken yesterday so im feeling absolutely awful.
We the people truly appreciate the help and support you consistently provide us with.
"learning to be alone is a superpower." ❤️
Rory- thank you again! I just got a clean PET scan for cancer so I’m BETTER than ever! Good luck with the book! (I’m writing one myself).
Congratulations!
That’s Great news!!
One thing for you guys.Do you wanna be with a person who changes you for another in matter of days weeks?I mean I suffered from my break-up too,but let me tell you it's better now than later.Every one has somebody in this world's we are almost 7 billion.You guys suffer because you loved them a lot and it's a loss for you.If the would love you the same way as you did they would never left.Remember every relationship is a lesson learn from your mistakes and be a better person.And don't be sad someone is waiting for you .I wish everyone a good life,lots of love,and happiness.
It’s been over a year of no contact. But it was the best thing I ever done
After almost 6 months of no contact my ex started liking my friend’s picture where I was in on social media. He tagged me few weeks ago on Instagram. Prior this happened I already blocked him from everywhere. Seeing his post were not helping me moving on. Feel much better and I’m dating someone new with a lot of potential. I’m so excited about what’s going happen.
Hi, obviously it is around this sixth month when they try to breadcrumb us, mine did the same but i didn't fall for this... honestly don't want him anymore and managed to see his true face...
I was dumped at Xmas.
My ex helped me regain my health and confidence. Helped me with my relationship with my kids. Supported me mentally and emotionally and then when I regained my life and over all well being..... Fitness, joined a new band, better outlook..... She dumped me.
All the hard work and she didn't stick around to see the reinvented, rebooted, me.
The arguments in this video help me to be more sure of what I am doing as of improving myself and making better changes. I have thought and learned a lot about myself and the relationship after the breakup, and these are positive aspects as they help me to be wiser and hopefully will make better choices as to not hurt myself & others in the future. Life is not always easy and yet we could still be strong and move forward when misfortune happens. I think that's the beauty of life. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and being sincere in helping your audience instead of giving the "tricks" to get your ex back as they basically don't work.
Glad I saw this. I was dumped a month ago. So far I've lost 40lbs nearing my 1st goal of 50lbs. I've started up my pickle business (dont ask, just loving doing it) succeeding in my job but, looking to go into radiology. And I've deleted Facebook because I was using it for validation (been off for facebook 2 weeks now and i feel peaceful and less stressed in my life). It was a revenge thing the first couple of weeks but, I just feel good about me now and doing things for me!
Rory you’ve help me through my trails and tribulations on getting my self worth back I’m just stoping by to say thank you 🙏🏽 your the best
I needed to hear this. Thank you from the bottom of my heart and good luck to all
I like the needle comparison. We build it up in our head as this horrible thing that hurts, when in reality being alone is good for you and allows you to find yourself.
Bro.. I went thru a situation last year and your videos helped me grow..
People it's TRUE work on your self and dont fears the needle.. Lov err yourself
When you realise your worth, it's checkmate. 🍒
I didn't expect to meet such an amazing woman so soon after my ex broke up with me. I don't want my ex back but I'm not over it yet.
This makes me hesitant about getting involved with this new person.
Funny thing is by me being hesitant it's making this new woman pursue me that much more!
Thanks for your wisdom. I left my social media on public and noticed they are peeping in. 🤔 So self improvement for your self feels better than for someone else
Trust me, i just did all your advice and it gave me more confident instead of thinking when my ex will contact me back. I feel that i no longer need her. If she come back then we will give a shot but if don't then i am still happy because of my progress. 😊
True love never dies, don't give up someone you love, all hope is not lost
✝2⃣3⃣4⃣9⃣0⃣5⃣8⃣6⃣2⃣6⃣0⃣6⃣3⃣
Weird.. the NEEDLE is what destroyed our relationship... One month clean today.
Good job man, keep going! Be proud.
@@twig3708 thnx. Weird. I know a twig....🧐🤔
Proud of how far I’ve come. I was definitely in a great place when I started my relationship (happy being single) and I’ve been secure in myself and still working on myself during my relationship. My ex couldn’t step up to the plate and left for… whatever reason they justified to themselves. 45 days in and I’ve come so far with my healing because of the resilient person I am, and tonight I made a nice big juicy post about the people who stay in my life, making sure to highlight all the things I’ve been out doing and thriving, so there is the added bonus my ex might see it and be slapping themselves. Whatever, I’m feeling good about myself and my ability to form close bonds and all of my progress and it deserves to be celebrated ❤️
Can't wait for the book! I'll buy it, even if just for showing you the appreciation and support! But i know it will be a bomb read!
My ex is in a rebound right after breaking up with me…and yet when I made it known on social media that my career is progressing and I’m taking an interesting in investments for passive income, they are now getting friends to ask about me and are avoiding social media more now
Interesting 👊🏻
Love this topic Rory!!! To all 'Dumpers', careful what you wish for! :)
Grow well my friends 💯 listen to Rory he knows what he’s talking about.
Rory, keep doing what your doing man,...I'm over my ex,..been over a year....but your video are still worth a listen,... buying the book ...
I Love being alone, I like myself and Im interesting... lots fun things to do... dumper? What? Why you would put yourself in a situation like that, is Crazy.... Never care more than they do... simple!
Rory 100% on the money
Ive out grown my ex ... she still holds a place in my heart as all ex's do .... but now it makes me smile ..... self improvement is key to attracting high value people into your life.
Im currently dating a published Model and she is crazy about me ... flying me to her photo shoots and i refer to video 167
When we love YOURSELVES the beauty happens
Thank you
Honestly very well said Rory, i shall admit though, i have been watching your content for two days, and it made me feel better, however ( and i realize that this is normal ), i have moments of sadness panic at least twice a day, and i switch from being normal to that narrow dark room surrounding me, i know i can do it, but man these breakups are the worst thing i have experienced yet.
You know how painful, while you were honest and loving and caring and she goes back to her old boyfriend that she knew for 11 years, while you had only 4 months with her, she came back to him because she showed him my messages, so she made him jealous and he finally told her his feelings, and she said yes, and she told me that this is all she was wanting for a long time, and you know the rest, can we be friends as it will hurt me if we are not...blablabla, i showed no emotions and told her good luck with him even before i watched these videos, i stayed polite and all ( if that tell you a little about me), Rory, it really sucks bro when you are so nice and people take advantage of you, she knew i was good looking and career advanced then him, she used this opportunity to get him back, that is what hurt me the most, not the fact that we broke up. Thanks for your videos bro, they are helping me a lot. ( people are mean man )
attachment bro , dont take it personal
I..so sorry...you deserve better
Yea I got left by a few exes in my 20s because of their baby fathers and attachment to them. It happens. You were a rebound. I notice that women never discuss the closeness and the time lenth of being broken up. If they do talk about thier exes they bash them. A rebound never knows that hes just a pain killer until their ex comes back.
This video auto played while I'm playing video games. I kinda miss her and the video came out perfectly right in time. Thanks!
I'm keeping your videos as a podcast list. I got alot to catch up on. I'm in the phase of month 4 since the breakup. He contacted me twice already. I dont know what to do so I'm ignoring him. The basic how are you texts. I worked on myself so much & realized so many things after the breakup. Love him but....I'm scard as hell.. I really dont wanna start over. The pain. I been super distant. He wanted the breakup so I gave it to him.
You keep giving us gold Rory 👍🏻
I stop reaching out to my ex-boyfriend when I know he starts a new relationship. I decided to move on my life live a better.
I'm wondering why he still checks my Instagram almost every day but I stop post anything
I was telling myself if he misses he will reach out to me if he didn't mean he was happy with his new relationship so I need to live well as compared to last time
Christy HuangXy we are in similar situation there. He are in new relationship and seem happy. I’m happy for him. He move to a new country so I’m focus on myself and this new relationship I’m in. That makes me realize why it didn’t worked out in the first place. You will find someone better and will see why he wasn’t the one for you.
Rita Lsk Thank Rita for the advice.🤗
I work on myself to be a better person for the next person come to my life.
Christy, You are so welcome :) I believe in you :)
Rita Lsk Do live well 🤗
You did the personal work, you did the hard thing and changed for the beter, they found a rebound becuse they think its a race to get a new partner and to soth the pain of you not being there and dident change.
Dont make the same mistake, show them that you are ok with being alone, becuse being alone and being lonely are two completly diffrent thing.
You love yourself and dont need aproval or validation from someone ells.
And when they realise that you did the right thing and they took the easy way out, they will se the true value you hade and the strenght to you have to make that change.
Keep it up everybody, this is good, helpful stuff !
I don't stay connected with my exes on social media. Am I the only one?
No there is literally no reason to stay in contact not even for sex UNLESS you have children with one of them contact is necessary.
Denzel hi I’m blocked from his phone and his Instagram but still friended on FB with limited option to comments. Does that mean I need to unfriend him on Fb?
I don’t either .... he has no idea what’s going on with me unless he reaches out.
@@thedeedee Same. I think that keeps with the natural order of things and is healthier overall because it discourages obsession or comparison (which is only ever superficial in terms of social media).
Diana Mary so true
Day 2 of no contact hell. I’ll be booking a coaching soon because there’s a strong possibility this ex isn’t worth getting back.....
Day 2?! I'm at month 10! It's a long game this breakup stuff
Yeah I know.... that’s the hard part. My last ex popped back up after about 9 months of not talking and being apart. Nothing came of it and I was in another relationship I’m trying to get back now.
Mine is day 21 and i think is over
@@lacieb716 I've started seeing someone, but truthfully I think of my ex often.
I wonder how she will react knowing im seeing someone ?
@@Ch-uu4db it's not!
You have to play the long game. Fake it till you make it. He will get the wobbles if he believes your doing well
I'm gonna get coaching from you soon. Can't wait
Thank you Roy. Great one.
i’m the dumper. my ex was treating me like ass for a week and ahalf. unaffectionate, saying some crappy things etc. then i looked through her phone and she had hit up this ex chick that she had this on again off again situationship telling her she missed her and asking when they could hangout etc. i ended the relationship. but i still wanted to try and work things out and tried giving her a week or two and asked again. she didn’t. so i’m done. we weren’t dating long but it was long enough to fall inlove with her and her 3 children. and it breaks my heart to have to walk away from them. i broke up with 4 people that day. their father is deceased and so i started talking on a father role. only to have that shit done to me.
Hi! I am working on my physical aspect and your video reminds me that chocolate bars are not worth eating when I have so much to gain... namely achieving my goal.
Holy moly Meena you are stunning 🤩 . His lose.
Fabulous, Rory! I hope to have another coaching soon.
My ex and I talked marriage 2 weeks before and she told me she loved me the day before she dumped me, that was almost 3 months ago. My depression hit so hard I've got scars all over my right arm from knives, idk what to do...I'm in fulltime counseling and on meds to help my depression but nothing is working
Wow that needle example 😮 really opened my eyes. 😍👍
So great! Thanks Rory!
Can’t wait for the book. Rory... I have a topic I think many of us re-attracting someone or even in a relationship have which is “when they back away... “ if you could touch on this subject that would be great. Seems my girl is always at battle with what she wants with me and it drives me bonkers. Thanks 🙏🏻
Sure!
Thank you for this video. God bless you.
Thanks for the new video, Rory!
My relationship of 7 months ended about a month ago, and I followed your advice on no contact. I recently started a new job and my ex texted me congratulating me. We have been texting for a few days, just chit chat and a bit of catching up. I kept the talks light hearted, and didn't make an effort to keep the conversation going if it died off. She's been initiating most of the texting but it's been about a week now. Should I make an effort to go back to no contact if I feel like she's texting me just to see if i'm still in back-up plan mode? I don't want her to think of me just as a friend, and the way the conversations are going I feel like things are heading in that direction. We've been talking quite frequently since the break up and I don't think there's been enough time for her to truly feel the break up. Should I tell her I don't want to settle for being friends because I think we're worth more than that and resume no contact, or just keep the casual conversations going?
Ask yourself: What do you gain from those conversations? If you think you want her back, ask her out to hang out. You will not win her back from text messages only. But then again you also have to ask yourself this: Why did the break up occur in the first place? What was the deal breaker? And if you realize what actually went wrong, you have to ask yourself this last question: Can we fix this together, or are we going to break up again in a few months because the problems of the past will start showing up again? If you think that you are not ready for anything of this, just stick to no contact. Give her an irrelevant answer if you like, but do not give her your attention anymore.
But seeing as some months have already passed I wonder how things actually went between you after the break up. Would be interesting to know.
Go no contact and See how long it takes for her to reach out
So powerful,Thank you very much.♥️
You are so welcome!
One of the best videos I’ve ever had!!!!!!!!!!
Love yourself more, always remember that.
What if the dumper is a man whom is well off on wealth and has a high paying job.. He is working out etc and can go do what ever he wants to do etc.
But me I am not a wealthy person.
I am average. Yes I own a business but wanting ro evolve that business to make it better make me better.
What I am far from him.
Gave geniune love. Not what most girls are like I guess.
So Yes I work on myself. Tell me how to attract that Dumper back. Even if I might or I might not want to go back if he even decided and how can I be powerful.
In that sense?
He reached out 3 times two of them to see if I was ok.
In respect I answered back later. Short and simple.
I am in. NC now. I dont have a desire. To even wanr to reach out.
It is time for me now. Stir the courage to work on me.
2 break up and we broke up 2 weeks ago.
He did light up my world. But I dont deserve what the things he said in the break up we never faught.
Plus I got him thru his hard times of emotions with his losses and quarrantine. Now it is time for his summer fun.
Please let me know and respond.. I truly would appreciate feed back from you.
Plus he spent 3 times a week with me and text everyday.
I would never see the other side of the luxuries or having a family. That I can call my own. I wanted the whole package. But then I see I need to still work on me and my insecurities too.
Thank you rory
Your videos helped me a lot during this pandemic .
Glad I could help!
Hi Rory, I no longer yearn for my ex anymore, neither do I wanna contact them. Now, the tables have turned. They are always the one who initiates contact. I have realised my worth and I am not waiting around for them anymore. Like you said, I would love to be in a relationship but I DON'T NEED a relationship anymore.
But my question is why do I still want to listen to videos about exes, no contacts and moving on etc.
I used to play it before bedtime and I feel good listening to your videos and using them like lullabies.
Rene April i can relate. I think it’s becoming a routine watching these videos 😂 I don’t even desperate about getting my ex back. I just like listening to these videos haha
Me tooooooo! Omg I thought I was the only one. This whole comment is so me.
pfffffff... she dumped me after a short term relationship. I went no contact. I wouldn't think she is insecure. She most likely jumped to the next guy,... :(
This guy amazing i love the way you talk keep the good work mate
Thanks, will do!
what are you more afraid of? being alone or the fear of being alone? im have bpd and this makes me feel so happy to hear. i love myself too much and i love being by myself!!! i just realize that im just scared to be alone forever
i did sonething stupid i begged my ex for another chance i was blowing up his phone now he ignores my calls probably blocked me ....im so sad i guess i have no chouce but to go no contact now....i want him back ...i was being needy.. i guess ive ruined my chances. ....
My ex told me he didn't need to "change" (evolve) so yeah ... Nothing to learn here for him!
I feel like I fucked up here because I accidentally let on how I was hurt and I also tried to kind of be friends with him a month after starting no contAct but then I’m back doing it again after talking to him at that point for maybe three weeks. Not every single day. It’s been a month since we talked now. I told him I’m not talking to him because it hurts. Wondering if I should just send him the message that I’m not going to be his friend and if he regrets it he can talk to me. Don’t know if that would just interrupt the no contact.
Always helpful Rory! I really want to read your book!
Great and lovely advices. Thanks 🙏🏻
My ex walked out and the next afternoon was on the socials adding girls and blocked me on everything, erased all traces of me, and then messaged a girl he had held onto from before...
He isn't gonna come back, is he?
Love you brother! Moving on! TY!
I’m not sure who the dump her is because my girlfriend wanted to go on a break. And then I decided to cut it off because I felt like she was going to play with me. So I am at the dumper or she is
Great video once again!!!
Keep it up!! 🙌🏻✨😁
Thank U for sharing~
Hi rory, im still in pain..i dont know how to get back into my old self..Im still love my wife..
Same with me mate but one need to move on. By moving on is basically looking after yourself. Take care.
Grow well my friends!
Pick of the day.....I would like to have a relationship....But I don't need it... thank u Rory......👍
Totally going to buy your book!
Oh he never was alone he kept his ex on the side. Unbeknown to me. He didn't just dump me he went directly to her. She wouldn't leave us alone. He was to weak to tell me what was going on. So no he never was alone. He never is alone he always has someone kissing his butt. He is a good dancer very musical. That is all he has going for him. That is what I saw also. His dancing and musical talent. I could write a book on this guy. I have known him for a long, long time. He has many secrets that he confided in me. I could cause alot of crap for him. But WHY. GREAT ADVICE AS USUAL.
The best video I have seen today ,last week my ex (the wicked witch of the north ) came back to check on me I thought she wanted to come back 2 my arms she acted so nice and lovely 5 days later she blocked me and ignored me again now I know y 😂😂😂😂
this is sad for someone that dumped a person to feel bad after you have moved on and not be bothered...this person is not in their right mind they should have not broke up and thought about it before they made the choice. This is stupid and unwise because you may lose a great relationship and the people that were dumped will never feel comfortable in the relationship because they will be anxious and uncomfortable thinking they would be dumped again so why go back just move on. The problem is not the one dumped it is the dumper because they have serious insecurities and they do not know their worth. Maybe I will make videos to show the one that was dumped how to move on and not look back believe me this is possible and you will find better while they are still not right in their mind. Also if they were the problem then leave this person alone because they will just messed up in every relationship until they know their worth.
I'm back in contact with my ex and we talk every day and have been for almost a month now but he hasn't said he loves me or anything like that And it bothers me that he doesn't say it...how long should I wait? What should I do? I'm starting to feel like I want to pull away again?
Jennifer Hymer enyoj the time with him and let it come by itself, in time it will if you keep it cool. Good luck
@@erosvera9945 thank you...I try to but sometimes it's hard...I miss some of the things we used to do before the breakup...and I have bad anxiety and doubt how people feel about me if they don't tell me...and I know I can live without him and I don't need him to love me to survive but I want him to love me...
I understand u, but if you keep thinking of that anxiety it will come up to the surface. Take it easy you dont want to lose him again do you! So just enyoj the time with him and you guys will do maybe better things togather.
@@erosvera9945 no I don't want to lose him again...and I'm hoping that things get better between us...I just really miss him saying "I love you"
Who dumped who?
Also, if you want a relationship with someone, never ask for it.
Your goal should be to have great fun at each interaction; repeat this enough times, and things would flow naturally.
Been broken up and in NC for a month. I would like a new relationship and am working on myself. She has my old laptop and a few other things of mine I'd like back but am not sure how to handle it. Help?
My ex boyfriend dump me, we works in same department. After few month of no contact, he suddenly blocked me on social media. Which is i dont understand because, we already unfriend and unfollowed each other. So he cannot saw my facebook and instagram bcse it privacy, then he blocked me out of blue. The funny thing is, on his birthday, he blocked me. I was like, ehhh, what did I do. 😅 i really dont understand what my ex problem.
I guess in my case I'm never getting back my ex. She dumped me because we were both jobless at the time and right after she broke up with me she got a job through competitive exam and she seems to be living a happy life since then. We were together for 4 good years and she ended the relationship in end of October. Have been in no contact for a month now. I am improving myself as a man God wants me to be and working hard in my studies.
I hope it works out for you and your ex reaches out.
I thought the dumper should be happy that dumpee is happy and working on self.. After all some last words from the dumper was to wish the dumpee the best in the world..
No. Every breakup essentially becomes an ego competition.
It's constantly comparing your lives to your ex -- if one is doing better, other feels like shit. Or vice versa.
Give 5 years to NC, and see your ex across the street being all successful and attractive -- it'll make you feel like trash.
To protect your heart, keep upgrading yourself. You must always have the upper hand.
@@brucewayne7203 what if you were already better than them when they broke up? Prettier, smarter, much more success in general?
That was awesome. Great video
if the dumper have another one can she be insecure?
What if the person who your ex goes back to is an old ex that still has feelings for her?
What if he broke up with me after 5 years, then wanted to get back together six months later and I made the mistake of taking him back only to have him break up with me again a week later saying he couldn't commit and was feeling too much pressure. Think he will regret losing me or did I mess that up by lowering my worth in taking him back? (I've now been no contact six months after second breakup)
Hey Rory, I begged and cried before going no contact. Will it work for me ??
I did the same for 6 months and now in no contact hoping she comes back .what's your situation now
My Ex left by text after a long relationship + hooked up with a work colleague straight away. I won’t talk to him now but he is putting loved up holiday pics all over social media which bothers my kids. I am bothered about how can someone live next to you every day + not say a word then leave the whole family for a new life?
San Law yes it happens. But he is not a good person. Work on yourself and see how the tables turn.
Hi Rory! You're really great! I imagine you as my real personal friend that i share a bucket of beer with. Can you make a video about being dumped twice by the same ex? Or something related to that. That will help my situation and probably others', too. Thanks a lot!
I had a good short relationship for three months with a guy. Everything was going well till after three months , he said he is not ready for relationship even though he thought he is. Im in no contact on my third week. So hard to move on! 😔😔😔😔
Yeah man playing games.
How’s it going?