Avoiding the wrong person is far better than finding the right person. I hope people understand it sooner. You won't die if they who you think to be right don't come to you. You might think of dying if they who seem right at the beginning come and later leave you.
@@shilpirana9568 The first one is a priority, a necessity so that one's life doesn't become a living hell. The second one could be a luxury, a wish fulfilment even without which living is possible and even better with social services as people need knowledge, awareness, enlightenment, spiritual susceptibility more than a significant other in the time of growing number of humans vs resources.
1. Attraction not good thing select partner 2. Assement first attachment later 3.Avoiding red flags way more important than collecting green flags 4.2 categories are important to assess person Relationship outcome levels High important traits Relationship outcome level 1) Positive it protects you from tough situation if they have 2) synergy of dreams and desires Ask their short term, middle time,long time goal check cohesive with your goal , it shouldn't be opposite end ,if its it again red flag 3) negative How well both of you managing emotion during conflict? To solve problem Through listen to partner Accept mistake Try to resolve Dont allow High negative emotion Inability to resolve conflict High important traits 1.Equality of status Rules for both of us 2.Unconditional respect Are they treating you with respect 3.high priority for you and your Relationship 1st priority it determines how much time and energy they are giving on you 4. Loyalty Are they loyal to you ? Know their past ? Why they will be loyal to you ? 5. Commitment Are they saying I will break up ,or they have some tolerance 6.honesty and transparency Are this person is liar
attractiveness is not bad but it should be reciprocated. else sex life will suffer. i have had two girls confess to me but I didn't find them attractive. now after many years, I do. so a woman is fine if shes shows equal interest in you
Attraction is most important. Always remember that. You are choosing a romantic partner n not a flatmate, guardian or just friend. Attraction is not always looks.
True… Attraction is more towards personality and how we feel with the person.. if we are attracted to someone we can spend 5-6 hours easily.. however if we r not attracted we can’t even tolerate the person more than 1 hours.. I feel we are even attracted to our friends.. there r ppl who we can’t even talk to
Attraction will be lost in time, but compatibility will be there rest of the life - its not you can ignore attraction but there need to be balance between both
We can't say that taking time to choose a partner always leads to successful relationship, so many relationships are successfully going for years with their acceptance in maximum 1 week only if they had really met their perfect match , it’s like a magical bond that never breaks❤😊
I trusted my brain the first time and my marriage still failed. Second time around, I'm trusting my gut feelings, and so far so good. There are challenges, but we love each other enough to make it work. I think love is the foundation you need, and the commitment that you will stick through.
Relationship outcome level: 1)Positive 2)Negative 3)Desire of outcome High Importance traits: 1)Equality of status-feelings,wishes etc. 2)Unconditional respect 3)High priority for relationships and you. 4)Give higher attention, and are loyal to you. 5)Ask the reasons for every answer they give. 6)Commitment for life.
भौतिकवाद भोगवाद बाजारवाद स्वार्थवाद गलाकाट प्रतियोगिता "मेरा जीवन मेरी मरज़ी मेरी ख़ुद गर्जी" के दौर मे इंसान का खुद से रिश्ता सही नहीं है तो भाई दोस्त पत्नी सन्तान ससुराल के साथ क्या खाक सही रहेगा.......
Most of time we don't or can't choose our Parents, Teachers, Boss, wife and friends etc in life...but we feel and proudly believe that we have chosen one...
Rules for men: 1) Know yourself and be honest in expressing yourself! Don't try hard to impress! You cannot be that impressive person lifelong. Don't put efforts in this phase where you are trying to getting to know each other! 2) Similar ideas or common goals with respect to finance means your relationship has already scored 50% marks. 3) Excitement fades, monotony prevails and committment only saves. Stay committed to your partner! This is where you need to put in efforts. You will experience a different version of love when you just start caring for each other and be peaceful with each other's company. 4) Choose your partner who is attractive for your eyes but not for the society's standards! Physical attraction is essential to engage in physìcal relationship, especially if you are a man. You have a visual stimulus that triggers the neural system and makes your little boy stand. You cannot fake to make your partner happy. 5) Accept that you cannot have it all. Be a little bit of stoic here!
I'm really stuck at the 6) points you made. Physical attraction is important because as a man I need to feel excited about physical stuff. Any guidance on how to look at this requirement in an arranged marriage? Two girls with almost the same nature but one is okayish looking with a good salary and the other is good looking but has an average job. I should be looking at long-term stability as well but at the same time confused if I can ignore the looks.
@@VG-ew4cnPhysical attraction is important but you need to understand what physical attraction is for you, it could be a tall guy, short guy, fair, dusky, curly hair, straight hair, etc. But do not rely on the social standards of looks- fair only, tall only, etc. Find out what your heart truly desires and what you truly like.
@@VG-ew4cn no you shouldn't ignore looks It is the only thing makes a man fall in love with his wife Choose the girl whom you find attractive Salary of the girl have less importance You need to love her first Otherwise you will fail to love her and then she will have to live a miserable life where her husband doesn't feel any kind of attraction for her It is most painful situation for women ( coming from a woman)
Just two days back, I got cheated on by someone who was looking for all these traits in me whilst himself being an absolute pretentious man with a habit of compulsively lying. This video is truly amazing tho. And when Shridhar says “don’t forget your deal breakers”, it hit home. It’s no shit. Before going into that relationship I was well aware of my needs and boundaries but as soon as I caught feelings, everything started to become hazy. Anyway, it’s sad we can’t undo what’s already happened. Although I am deeply hurt right now, I know I will be fine in a couple months/years. If anything, this was a huge lesson for me. Love and strength to anyone else who is going through the same pain right now. Just know, it wasn’t your fault, you’re not alone and this too shall pass❤️
I have been thru a failed arranged marriage. I can vouch for all that you have said to be true. But will add one more point, not giving in to attachment stems up from having a high self esteem. No amount of knowledage will work otherwise. To be able to love yourself alone and not only when validated in a relationship.
In my experience, attraction can develop over time. Like u find a guy visually unattractive at first but then you start finding them cute once u get to know them.
You dumb, you feel attracted towards someone's personality coz of hormones released in your brain. This honeymoon phase will go away once your brain stop getting that oxytocin. Rather it's all about how good and comfortable you both are & feel as a teammate to win tackle and support each other in this life battle.
Thank you so much for useful tips.. Actually I fell in toxic relationship ignoring Red flags & bearing consequences now. I have 2 teenage daughters who need this message to find genuine partners.. 🙏🏼
Explanation is top notch....i have suffered all those things in toxic relationship...you have to be mentally strong to overcome trauma and rejection...and i after few years i not regret my decisions
After reading the caption, I am forced to comment that we have no clue but it is not us who chooses the partner. It just happens.....btw you are doing a good job👍
That honesty line is 💯 correct.. one cannot find peace when the situation is like we need to assess the other person's words everytime like a detective By the end.. we want to be a partner not a detective ✌️
Very very true,each and every word is worth understanding Many of us don't find red flags, sometimes our parents also do hurry,all they say,sab theek ho jaata hai, But avoiding the wrong person doesn't mean we have to fight back,amecabily partners should get separated, but in our indian families, after marriage specially, couples don't get separated amicably, specially lady has to fight for her rights, that's the irony
I have ignored physical attraction and dated based on other qualities (reliability, consistency, attentiveness, good listener, thoughtful etc) and resented the lack of attraction the longer we were together until they started to actually repulse me. Two have still ended up to be narcissists. Really hesitant to take that advice again.
Wow this is just wonderful ♥️ I just wish i could have watched this vedio an year back, I would never had given a chance to a toxic person! Love your content💕keep making this , the world needs you!
Amazing work sir! This has helped me a lot. Sometimes we just forget the red flags and just get connected because the opposite person is attractive but I understand the importance of not letting go of the red flags! Thank you
Bro your really great I have never seen such a good video on relationship. I was also connected to a person like this after the distance it was very difficult to forget her now only after some couple of months my brain is thinking rationally on the relationship thanks bro❤
This is one of the best relationship videos I have watched in a while. There are not very many resourceful videos for south Asian culture in mind. Kudos to you!!!!
I saw this video a little late and made the same mistake, chose a guy on attraction and height... the ever worse decision of my life. He just walked out one day silently leaving me devastated. I'm still trying to recover from the trauma. May GOD heal my soul.
no attraction is necessary. after being attracted try to find qualities. don't find qualities in random people. these things are hierarchical, not lateral. attraction first, loyalty second (but a must) , then nature
You explain very well.. if we talk a person for 4,5 Times, slowly we feels connection ( sigreet habit) but it doesn't mean we are competable . Nice 👍 explanation,nice research 👍
You speak wonderfully sir . I watch your videos as they are very interesting . My daughter is MS OBSTETRIC AND GYNECOLOGY . Selecting the right person becomes difficult when you have two to three choice .Dilemma to choose . Arranged marriages very difficult to decide because very less time to assess. Ultimately it is big gamble i feel as a mother of a girl. Whatever homework one does risk remains . Only God helps us if our karma is good. I cant stop admiring your personality sir .
That's why Saturn gets exalted in Libra. Libra is a sign of relationship , Saturn represents hard work and relationship actually requires hard work so it make sense.
Believing in your gut feeling or intuition is the most important thing. If something is not feeling good just walk away. Attraction is very important if I don't feel attracted towards my life partner ,I can't get into physical relationship. Premmunshi ji bahot hi khubsurat baat kahi hai " vivah ka adhaar prem hona chahiye,agar nahi hai to woh sharir ka vikray hoga". Isiliye attraction hona bhi jaruri hai.
Omggg!!how well u explained and covered all topics !!I have watched tons of video regarding this topic but couldn't find as informative as this video.lol❤️🤗
What an Amazing Video Sridhar- this comes at the right time and your first point on attraction was so apt. Loved watching the brilliant tips. Thank you 🙏
Yeah noticing red flags is important but I find your suggestions to be full of expectations from the other person to be "perfect".. and that's where relationships fail..it might end up making one or both suspicious about each and every move they take or talk about. That's where expressing oneself verbally backfires..
absolutely lol, especially the last one when he said, keep repeating a mantra and he gave his mantra, "if I experience a red flag, I'll leave." Just imagine how torturing and disastrous it is. It's like he/she is only waiting for a red flag to appear to use it as an opportunity to end the relationship lol. In that case you already have made your whole life a suffering even if you get a perfect partner. No one is perfect. Humans are full of flaws. I'm sure everyone will definitely encounter some red flag (from their perspective) at some point in their relationships. Its like he/she has been waiting for the red flag opportunity his/her whole life lol. I'd rather say instead of the red flags see the green flags, like if the partner is understanding, trustworthy, respects his/her personal space or not and Physical attributes are comparable or not. In simple words see the person has good sanskar or not. If someone has so much fear then they should simply avoid any long term relationships especially marriage. My friend had narcissistic, selfish nature who hurt me a lot finally I stopped talking to her. Still I'm not running behind such a level of perfection. Although I'm afraid of relationships. But my point is you should be more brave rather than being more cautious if you want to be in a good relationship. Relationship should be about emotion and not some robotic brain logic and dumb mathematical calculations. If the partner hurts you constantly then bad luck, choose god now 😊
Using logical tool to solve feelings like love, is like taking knife to a Gun fight. 😅. Obviously you are correct Sir. But even dating coaches make simple mistakes, because no one, can truly make correct decision, when overwhelmed with emotions.
But emotions will die soon.........Logic and rational thinking is always correct. Imagine if bullets are emptied,the gun is waste.But knife will be still useful.
@@naveenjose7710 The point is. No one can take logical steps when overwhelmed with emotions. And you will fuck up the relationship yourself at one point in time. You cannot make a checklist, to stop yourself from falling for wrong people. It's the part and parcel of the dating process. You will never know they are right or wrong, before the moment of test comes. If this was possible, psychologist would give certificates of traits a person has, to make dating and selection of partners easy. Even they can only guess what a person is, or will behavior in the future.
@@kaberigomes2117 Yeah.There is nothing wrong with following emotions.In a relationship if the other person truly loves you or values you both can change their behaviour pattern for mutual interest. But sadly,if one follows emotions like pure lust , body shape, colour, beauty.Love from these emotions fades away and will be problematic in future.
@@naveenjose7710 We are straying away from the video. Just answer me this question. Will you now like a girl but leave them after going through this checklist recommended in the video. Plain and simple answer.
@@kaberigomes2117 After some life experience not only girls,even with male friends one will do checklist and interact carefully. Last month I even rejected sex offer from a married lady doctor who is in my neighborhood. Careless relationships come with heavy price later.
I have been ignoring all red flags and adjusted till I got divorced. Now with the freedom and self esteem I gained back, I feel so stupid to stick to that relation. Believe me single life is so much better even when you are a single parent.
Superb video. Thank you so much. Much much much needed one. 1 request please speak slowly. I understand very well but the one who can't will miss important message. Again excellent work.😊
After watching this video I subscribed your channel. I liked too much this video. You explained everything clearly which will helpful in the way of choosing someone perfect ❤️
I caught in the red flag criteria relationship, I asked him to leave us(Me and baby). So he wanted me to apply for divorce so that he dont want to contribute financially. Even for divorce he is thinking to be in a safer side. I just ruined my life and babies life, from starting am the one who is taking care completely, both financial and house stuffs. I thought one day these things will change, but now it is almost 2.6 years, but nothing changed. From day one of my marriage i am struggling alot. Not sure what to do now, so me and baby are staying alone now and going with the flow.
Time is only medicine with ignoring some red flags. Staying away too helps to make person understands what if you're not there! It surely affects kids, as per my experience with my other divorced friends.
Be happy. This relationship marriage are forced on girls by this parents and society. If we really ask ourselves we need peace of mind to live. But we ourselves spoil it by allowing other toxic people in life. So these are the rules for live mental peace Rule 1: cut out all toxic relationship including husband from life. Rule 2. Live according to heart desire despite of what parents or society say. Rule 3. This marriage thing never work bcz no man get satisfied with one woman or one women get satisfied with one man. Bcz having good sex is part of life. Boring sex with one person can never offer anything. It is a fact. So marriages always fail. But since india is still in 16h century women tolerate and live as slave. Rule 4. Be free like a bird and live. Your kid is ur blessing and you are blessed by god to use your personal time which you got wasted for your husband earlier. Enjoy life. You are complete. Society dont define you. You define you. Happy life🌈🌈🌈
@@eagleseye6576 , I've some comments on your rules. 1. You can't cut off relationship with anyone either here or in reincarnation, if you believe in it. If you cut off, you carry "baggage" throughout your life, like you're carrying. 2. You can't live "independently" as you've no experience of "marriage" before it happens. Parents want to get rid of their "responsibility " by marrying of kids. Of course, you've to live according to heart desires, even when while in marriage, atleast once in week for atleast one hour. Financial independence is the key with personality development. 3. This marriage relationship works with many including your parents. It didn't work out for you. It needs a lot of tolerance, understanding, and most importantly, time. Hot tempered are in hot waters, if they don't manage their emotions. It's all about "respect" and life management techniques. "Control" on other partner is the main culprit. 4. I agree with you for your defining self, and not bound by social norms though. Live like a bird free from mental stress and lead happy life.
@@hemantpanchpor You are born alone and you die alone. Then why u create chaos and simply think all are genuine and waste ur time. Your own god realized guru can only save u on life. Other relationship are just for name same. The only pure relationship which exist without any hidden interest is a relationship with god. In india marriage for women is servant cum slavery life. But women are brainwashed from childhood you are supposed to tolerate, give birth, clean toilet, cook food and serve 24x7. This is called nonsense. Women and men are same. Marriage should be a equal partnership which is unrealistic in most cases. During covid time 26000 house wifes in india did suicide. Why? Because the slaves master is home torturing them. Do not simply close eyes and speak. Look around and see the slavery of women. Most women are forced to give up job after marriage. Men are given the authority decision. Men decide women slaves agree. They simply sit in one corner and orders. These slaves work around all time. Night time she is utilized for sex. So where will a women have time for herself. This is such a hypocrite society. Why India is lowest in divorce rate? Because people live in toxic relationship bcz they are afraid of society. Society torture divorce. So is the 16th century culture. I cannot further explain to people who live inside an eggshell thinking what a beautiful world i am in. Step out and see the reality of slavery housewife india. Even movies dont expose this because its directed by men. Atleast there are few movies which expose this. Great inidan kitchen is one amoung them. Go and watch if u want. Bye
A very important quality is to see whethrr one can validate emotions. It gets a nightmare if one invalidate dismisses emotions, its like a partner cannot share anything in the long run. Now most grew up in homes with emotional neglect, in that case, to see if the person is willing to grow heal learn together. Just thid quality, that we didnt know so many things and I am willing to time learn to be a better human and do well as a team is epic Diamond. Another thing that is important is vision , someone who has a vision of love, has already felt the love affection within and would be able to bring that playfulness chivalry romance affection into the partnership and it would grow with time.
Seriously, I feel it’s soo much easier to be crazy about a toxic person than to be crazy about a good person. Being with a good person in a long run feels “Boring” but if you think about it, isn’t that what we all want? Calm cool and composed ? Then why does it feel boring?😢
Yaar one should not forget that the other person is also just a human will his or her own flaws. Unless the relationships are not verbally or physically abusive and have some form of violence learn to accept your partner with his or her flaws. N the simple hack is doosre person ko itna importance hi na do apni jindagi me ki har samay uske actions se farak pade. Apne me mast rehna seekho.
virgin couples love & try to know each other like new born babies ,they are new to opposite sex emotions, feelings, bodies, and thus have lots of butterflies , anticipation, and goosebumps even while holding their partner's hand. They will do lots of mistakes with each other initially and there the fun lies ,they play with each other like rabbits . But if one partner is non virgin then he/she will laugh at his/her partner and cannot love back in the same way. That's why a virgin deserves another virgin
Your videos are really really very helpful ❤️ thanks a lotttt... Can you Plzzzzz make a video on relationship and career , should you give up your relationship for career or can we have a beautiful relationship and at the same time excel in our career..... If so , plz tell how to balance then properly 🙏🙏
The importance of a single life can only be understood after getting married. And hence the single life is understated.
Avoiding the wrong person is far better than finding the right person. I hope people understand it sooner. You won't die if they who you think to be right don't come to you. You might think of dying if they who seem right at the beginning come and later leave you.
we should avoid the wrong ones while searching/waiting for right one
@@shilpirana9568 The first one is a priority, a necessity so that one's life doesn't become a living hell. The second one could be a luxury, a wish fulfilment even without which living is possible and even better with social services as people need knowledge, awareness, enlightenment, spiritual susceptibility more than a significant other in the time of growing number of humans vs resources.
best advice🤗
@@poonambairagi2809 thank you🙏
So, Looks is not a actual criteria to choose the right partner...
I ruled out so many red flags that I ruled out everyone
Haha. Well single life can be good too :D
@@Shridharlifeschooling yeah really..
@@Shridharlifeschooling please make a video on single life for people entering or above 40s and road ahead with no marital prospects...
@@Shridharlifeschooling hmm maybe but it’s very lonely you don’t even have an emergency contact
😄
1. Attraction not good thing select partner
2. Assement first attachment later
3.Avoiding red flags way more important than collecting green flags
4.2 categories are important to assess person
Relationship outcome levels
High important traits
Relationship outcome level
1) Positive
it protects you from tough situation if they have
2) synergy of dreams and desires
Ask their short term, middle time,long time goal check cohesive with your goal , it shouldn't be opposite end ,if its it again red flag
3) negative
How well both of you managing emotion during conflict? To solve problem
Through listen to partner
Accept mistake
Try to resolve
Dont allow
High negative emotion
Inability to resolve conflict
High important traits
1.Equality of status
Rules for both of us
2.Unconditional respect
Are they treating you with respect
3.high priority for you and your Relationship
1st priority it determines how much time and energy they are giving on you
4. Loyalty
Are they loyal to you ?
Know their past ?
Why they will be loyal to you ?
5. Commitment
Are they saying I will break up ,or they have some tolerance
6.honesty and transparency
Are this person is liar
attractiveness is not bad but it should be reciprocated. else sex life will suffer. i have had two girls confess to me but I didn't find them attractive. now after many years, I do. so a woman is fine if shes shows equal interest in you
Attraction is most important. Always remember that. You are choosing a romantic partner n not a flatmate, guardian or just friend. Attraction is not always looks.
True… Attraction is more towards personality and how we feel with the person.. if we are attracted to someone we can spend 5-6 hours easily.. however if we r not attracted we can’t even tolerate the person more than 1 hours.. I feel we are even attracted to our friends.. there r ppl who we can’t even talk to
in genz lingo vibes
Attraction will be lost in time, but compatibility will be there rest of the life - its not you can ignore attraction but there need to be balance between both
You are a mother/father to your kids not just a romantic partner!
@@SchoolOfUnlearning3 you not making sense. Your description sounds like incest.
When he says; run away when partner treats you inferior! And he is absolutely right.😂
😂😂😂
We can't say that taking time to choose a partner always leads to successful relationship, so many relationships are successfully going for years with their acceptance in maximum 1 week only if they had really met their perfect match , it’s like a magical bond that never breaks❤😊
basically communication is the most important skill in relationship and marriage
I trusted my brain the first time and my marriage still failed. Second time around, I'm trusting my gut feelings, and so far so good. There are challenges, but we love each other enough to make it work. I think love is the foundation you need, and the commitment that you will stick through.
What should you choose love or money for marriage?
What's ur suggestion for how to choose partner
@@jayeshbhagat4754 You both should share the same belief system 80% of the time.
In your case it's was hit and miss scenario, and it's doesn't prove anything.
Those days love conquers all. Today, compatability conquers all.
Relationship outcome level:
1)Positive
2)Negative
3)Desire of outcome
High Importance traits:
1)Equality of status-feelings,wishes etc.
2)Unconditional respect
3)High priority for relationships and you.
4)Give higher attention, and are loyal to you.
5)Ask the reasons for every answer they give.
6)Commitment for life.
भौतिकवाद भोगवाद बाजारवाद स्वार्थवाद गलाकाट प्रतियोगिता "मेरा जीवन मेरी मरज़ी मेरी ख़ुद गर्जी" के दौर मे इंसान का खुद से रिश्ता सही नहीं है तो भाई दोस्त पत्नी सन्तान ससुराल के साथ क्या खाक सही रहेगा.......
Most of time we don't or can't choose our Parents, Teachers, Boss, wife and friends etc in life...but we feel and proudly believe that we have chosen one...
Saw a thousand videos on dating, but no one has explained the stuff precisely the way you did. Thank you so much for this video✨🌸
Watch @shwetabh gangwar ,u will find other perspectives as well 👍
@@saswatupadhyaya410 that will confuse her
He makes men specific videos
Because it's still unnatural (artificial..man made issue) so there is no as such absolute conclusion..
Rules for men:
1) Know yourself and be honest in expressing yourself! Don't try hard to impress! You cannot be that impressive person lifelong. Don't put efforts in this phase where you are trying to getting to know each other!
2) Similar ideas or common goals with respect to finance means your relationship has already scored 50% marks.
3) Excitement fades, monotony prevails and committment only saves. Stay committed to your partner! This is where you need to put in efforts. You will experience a different version of love when you just start caring for each other and be peaceful with each other's company.
4) Choose your partner who is attractive for your eyes but not for the society's standards! Physical attraction is essential to engage in physìcal relationship, especially if you are a man. You have a visual stimulus that triggers the neural system and makes your little boy stand. You cannot fake to make your partner happy.
5) Accept that you cannot have it all. Be a little bit of stoic here!
I'm really stuck at the 6) points you made. Physical attraction is important because as a man I need to feel excited about physical stuff. Any guidance on how to look at this requirement in an arranged marriage? Two girls with almost the same nature but one is okayish looking with a good salary and the other is good looking but has an average job. I should be looking at long-term stability as well but at the same time confused if I can ignore the looks.
@@VG-ew4cnPhysical attraction is important but you need to understand what physical attraction is for you, it could be a tall guy, short guy, fair, dusky, curly hair, straight hair, etc. But do not rely on the social standards of looks- fair only, tall only, etc. Find out what your heart truly desires and what you truly like.
@@VG-ew4cn no you shouldn't ignore looks
It is the only thing makes a man fall in love with his wife
Choose the girl whom you find attractive
Salary of the girl have less importance
You need to love her first
Otherwise you will fail to love her and then she will have to live a miserable life where her husband doesn't feel any kind of attraction for her
It is most painful situation for women
( coming from a woman)
Just two days back, I got cheated on by someone who was looking for all these traits in me whilst himself being an absolute pretentious man with a habit of compulsively lying. This video is truly amazing tho. And when Shridhar says “don’t forget your deal breakers”, it hit home. It’s no shit. Before going into that relationship I was well aware of my needs and boundaries but as soon as I caught feelings, everything started to become hazy. Anyway, it’s sad we can’t undo what’s already happened. Although I am deeply hurt right now, I know I will be fine in a couple months/years. If anything, this was a huge lesson for me. Love and strength to anyone else who is going through the same pain right now. Just know, it wasn’t your fault, you’re not alone and this too shall pass❤️
This too shall pass
Yes ...it's very hurtful
Coz we are loyal at their back but later came to know from years he was cheating u
Don't worry u will be fine..
Yes. And you're doing great. Stay strong
I have been thru a failed arranged marriage. I can vouch for all that you have said to be true. But will add one more point, not giving in to attachment stems up from having a high self esteem. No amount of knowledage will work otherwise. To be able to love yourself alone and not only when validated in a relationship.
Attraction is very important in a relationship.. It is very difficult to form a connection without attraction.
We can learn to reduce its importance. Not zero. Just less.
Attraction will spark your interest but it won’t maintain the relationship.
Very true,if attraction isn't important why do you need to have a relationship with a girl/woman ,this guy is just stupid
In my experience, attraction can develop over time. Like u find a guy visually unattractive at first but then you start finding them cute once u get to know them.
You dumb, you feel attracted towards someone's personality coz of hormones released in your brain. This honeymoon phase will go away once your brain stop getting that oxytocin. Rather it's all about how good and comfortable you both are & feel as a teammate to win tackle and support each other in this life battle.
Feel lucky to be born in the era of TH-cam where this kind of precious information is available at my fingertips.
Thank you so much for useful tips.. Actually I fell in toxic relationship ignoring Red flags & bearing consequences now. I have 2 teenage daughters who need this message to find genuine partners.. 🙏🏼
Explanation is top notch....i have suffered all those things in toxic relationship...you have to be mentally strong to overcome trauma and rejection...and i after few years i not regret my decisions
After reading the caption, I am forced to comment that we have no clue but it is not us who chooses the partner. It just happens.....btw you are doing a good job👍
Good analysis.. Mostly decisions are impulsive .... One need to learn commitment....Temperament suitability is to be checked
That honesty line is 💯 correct.. one cannot find peace when the situation is like we need to assess the other person's words everytime like a detective
By the end.. we want to be a partner not a detective ✌️
Very very true,each and every word is worth understanding
Many of us don't find red flags, sometimes our parents also do hurry,all they say,sab theek ho jaata hai,
But avoiding the wrong person doesn't mean we have to fight back,amecabily partners should get separated, but in our indian families, after marriage specially, couples don't get separated amicably, specially lady has to fight for her rights, that's the irony
So true.
Sir, most of your videos are superb, but this one is gold. Take a bow.
I wish we had something like this earlier..
I have ignored physical attraction and dated based on other qualities (reliability, consistency, attentiveness, good listener, thoughtful etc) and resented the lack of attraction the longer we were together until they started to actually repulse me. Two have still ended up to be narcissists.
Really hesitant to take that advice again.
So you mean physical attraction is much more important?
Solely Depends on person .. if he or she is a good human being no need of just advice .
Same here
Couldn't agree more, been there😢
Agree
Love cover everything. Nobody perfect every person has red flags just depends who you love enough to tolerate everything.
Wow this is just wonderful ♥️ I just wish i could have watched this vedio an year back, I would never had given a chance to a toxic person! Love your content💕keep making this , the world needs you!
Me too
I think some level of attraction is required in a marriage. Otherwise it feels like a business partner
True without attraction I don't think u love someone unconditionally .... it's not a different kind of love ...not a friendship ... looks don't matter
mrrg and relationship are wymn's business.. it's kind of transaction.. where men have to pay like a fool while she may or may not have s3x
Amazing work sir! This has helped me a lot. Sometimes we just forget the red flags and just get connected because the opposite person is attractive but I understand the importance of not letting go of the red flags! Thank you
Mentality ❤
Understanding ❤
Respect ❤
Bas aur kuch nhi chahiye.
Watching this again after the gap of 6 months. Every word in the script is thought out. Carefully listen and utilise this knowledge
I have never thought there can be such criteria to choose your partner. Life was not easy and now i am getting to know it's more than not easy
Very very useful & explained in a way that's easy to digest. Absolutely loved the content & structure
As I work on myself, I am attracted to values in a person, also how loving accepting they are to themselves
Bro your really great I have never seen such a good video on relationship.
I was also connected to a person like this after the distance it was very difficult to forget her now only after some couple of months my brain is thinking rationally on the relationship thanks bro❤
This is really the best video on choosing a partner I have ever seen
Thnq soo much sir🙏
Thank god I came across this video ❤️ I'm 26 and single. I hope I will find someone better 😌
This is one of the best relationship videos I have watched in a while. There are not very many resourceful videos for south Asian culture in mind. Kudos to you!!!!
So perfectly explained. Amazing !!! This is giving 100 % clarity
Trust me …you are such a amazing person sir ..thanks a lot for giving such good content …🤟😀
I saw this video a little late and made the same mistake, chose a guy on attraction and height... the ever worse decision of my life.
He just walked out one day silently leaving me devastated. I'm still trying to recover from the trauma.
May GOD heal my soul.
Ameen
respect his decision.. he may have lost attraction for you while being in the relationship
no attraction is necessary. after being attracted try to find qualities. don't find qualities in random people. these things are hierarchical, not lateral. attraction first, loyalty second (but a must) , then nature
Thank you, this is a wonderful work you put together precisely and concisely. These things may sound simple but a lot of people don’t even know.
You explain very well.. if we talk a person for 4,5 Times, slowly we feels connection ( sigreet habit) but it doesn't mean we are competable .
Nice 👍 explanation,nice research 👍
I dont think calculation can make a relationship work..but may be help in getting better..without emotion a relationship is just a,deal..
You speak wonderfully sir . I watch your videos as they are very interesting . My daughter is MS OBSTETRIC AND GYNECOLOGY . Selecting the right person becomes difficult when you have two to three choice .Dilemma to choose . Arranged marriages very difficult to decide because very less time to assess. Ultimately it is big gamble i feel as a mother of a girl. Whatever homework one does risk remains . Only God helps us if our karma is good. I cant stop admiring your personality sir .
That's why Saturn gets exalted in Libra. Libra is a sign of relationship , Saturn represents hard work and relationship actually requires hard work so it make sense.
Yeh kaha se aa gaya 😂😂😂
Aaap kehna kya chahte ho?
Believing in your gut feeling or intuition is the most important thing. If something is not feeling good just walk away.
Attraction is very important if I don't feel attracted towards my life partner ,I can't get into physical relationship.
Premmunshi ji bahot hi khubsurat baat kahi hai " vivah ka adhaar prem hona chahiye,agar nahi hai to woh sharir ka vikray hoga". Isiliye attraction hona bhi jaruri hai.
Omggg!!how well u explained and covered all topics !!I have watched tons of video regarding this topic but couldn't find as informative as this video.lol❤️🤗
What an Amazing Video Sridhar- this comes at the right time and your first point on attraction was so apt. Loved watching the brilliant tips.
Thank you 🙏
Ultimate speech sridhar sir, ur good in knowledge talks, i really liked ;helped me alot this video 🙏 ❤️💚💛💙💜thank u
Yeah noticing red flags is important but I find your suggestions to be full of expectations from the other person to be "perfect".. and that's where relationships fail..it might end up making one or both suspicious about each and every move they take or talk about. That's where expressing oneself verbally backfires..
absolutely lol, especially the last one when he said, keep repeating a mantra and he gave his mantra, "if I experience a red flag, I'll leave."
Just imagine how torturing and disastrous it is. It's like he/she is only waiting for a red flag to appear to use it as an opportunity to end the relationship lol. In that case you already have made your whole life a suffering even if you get a perfect partner. No one is perfect. Humans are full of flaws.
I'm sure everyone will definitely encounter some red flag (from their perspective) at some point in their relationships. Its like he/she has been waiting for the red flag opportunity his/her whole life lol.
I'd rather say instead of the red flags see the green flags, like if the partner is understanding, trustworthy, respects his/her personal space or not and Physical attributes are comparable or not.
In simple words see the person has good sanskar or not.
If someone has so much fear then they should simply avoid any long term relationships especially marriage.
My friend had narcissistic, selfish nature who hurt me a lot finally I stopped talking to her. Still I'm not running behind such a level of perfection. Although I'm afraid of relationships. But my point is you should be more brave rather than being more cautious if you want to be in a good relationship. Relationship should be about emotion and not some robotic brain logic and dumb mathematical calculations. If the partner hurts you constantly then bad luck, choose god now 😊
@@nishantkumar6960 👍
I am grateful that I can consume this entire contact free. This video has a great deal of information that will retrospect your every decision.
Using logical tool to solve feelings like love, is like taking knife to a Gun fight. 😅. Obviously you are correct Sir. But even dating coaches make simple mistakes, because no one, can truly make correct decision, when overwhelmed with emotions.
But emotions will die soon.........Logic and rational thinking is always correct.
Imagine if bullets are emptied,the gun is waste.But knife will be still useful.
@@naveenjose7710 The point is. No one can take logical steps when overwhelmed with emotions. And you will fuck up the relationship yourself at one point in time. You cannot make a checklist, to stop yourself from falling for wrong people. It's the part and parcel of the dating process. You will never know they are right or wrong, before the moment of test comes.
If this was possible, psychologist would give certificates of traits a person has, to make dating and selection of partners easy.
Even they can only guess what a person is, or will behavior in the future.
@@kaberigomes2117 Yeah.There is nothing wrong with following emotions.In a relationship if the other person truly loves you or values you both can change their behaviour pattern for mutual interest.
But sadly,if one follows emotions like pure lust , body shape, colour, beauty.Love from these emotions fades away and will be problematic in future.
@@naveenjose7710 We are straying away from the video. Just answer me this question. Will you now like a girl but leave them after going through this checklist recommended in the video. Plain and simple answer.
@@kaberigomes2117 After some life experience not only girls,even with male friends one will do checklist and interact carefully.
Last month I even rejected sex offer from a married lady doctor who is in my neighborhood.
Careless relationships come with heavy price later.
His each and every point in 💯 true. I agreed all his points bcz i have see and experienced those red flags
The Best video on how to find the Life partner. Thank you so much for such Great wisdom ❤
There is nothing bigger than destiny
1. Positivity 2. Goals aligning 3. Conflict Resolution
1. Equality 2. Respect 3. Priority 4. Loyalty 5. Commitment for life 6. Honestly & Transpency
Very well sketched and super professional. Thanks
You are a gem who saved so many😢 i really wanna thankyouuuu. I have tears😢 thankyouuuu so mucchhhh ❤
You speak as much as a man can be perfect. 🎉
The way you explained…hats offf…Thank you
Very good advice. Clear and easy to follow. Thanks for this video.
I have been ignoring all red flags and adjusted till I got divorced. Now with the freedom and self esteem I gained back, I feel so stupid to stick to that relation. Believe me single life is so much better even when you are a single parent.
Upto the mark explanation, really a psychological, scientific and rational approach. Thanks clearing thaught process.
10:41 Right on 🙌🏼
Fantastic video.U just cleared all of my doubts..❣️
Superb video. Thank you so much. Much much much needed one. 1 request please speak slowly. I understand very well but the one who can't will miss important message.
Again excellent work.😊
After watching this video I subscribed your channel. I liked too much this video. You explained everything clearly which will helpful in the way of choosing someone perfect ❤️
No matter how well u explain people will start choosing partner based on looks and Complexion first
Very very informative video. Much needed 🙌
Wowww..great video to move on from my ex 😅❤..thank you soo much.
I caught in the red flag criteria relationship, I asked him to leave us(Me and baby). So he wanted me to apply for divorce so that he dont want to contribute financially. Even for divorce he is thinking to be in a safer side. I just ruined my life and babies life, from starting am the one who is taking care completely, both financial and house stuffs. I thought one day these things will change, but now it is almost 2.6 years, but nothing changed. From day one of my marriage i am struggling alot. Not sure what to do now, so me and baby are staying alone now and going with the flow.
Time is only medicine with ignoring some red flags. Staying away too helps to make person understands what if you're not there! It surely affects kids, as per my experience with my other divorced friends.
th-cam.com/video/OMmO_ISOii8/w-d-xo.html
Be happy. This relationship marriage are forced on girls by this parents and society. If we really ask ourselves we need peace of mind to live. But we ourselves spoil it by allowing other toxic people in life. So these are the rules for live mental peace
Rule 1: cut out all toxic relationship including husband from life.
Rule 2. Live according to heart desire despite of what parents or society say.
Rule 3. This marriage thing never work bcz no man get satisfied with one woman or one women get satisfied with one man. Bcz having good sex is part of life. Boring sex with one person can never offer anything. It is a fact. So marriages always fail. But since india is still in 16h century women tolerate and live as slave.
Rule 4. Be free like a bird and live. Your kid is ur blessing and you are blessed by god to use your personal time which you got wasted for your husband earlier. Enjoy life. You are complete. Society dont define you. You define you. Happy life🌈🌈🌈
@@eagleseye6576 , I've some comments on your rules.
1. You can't cut off relationship with anyone either here or in reincarnation, if you believe in it. If you cut off, you carry "baggage" throughout your life, like you're carrying.
2. You can't live "independently" as you've no experience of "marriage" before it happens. Parents want to get rid of their "responsibility " by marrying of kids. Of course, you've to live according to heart desires, even when while in marriage, atleast once in week for atleast one hour. Financial independence is the key with personality development.
3. This marriage relationship works with many including your parents. It didn't work out for you. It needs a lot of tolerance, understanding, and most importantly, time. Hot tempered are in hot waters, if they don't manage their emotions. It's all about "respect" and life management techniques. "Control" on other partner is the main culprit.
4. I agree with you for your defining self, and not bound by social norms though. Live like a bird free from mental stress and lead happy life.
@@hemantpanchpor
You are born alone and you die alone. Then why u create chaos and simply think all are genuine and waste ur time. Your own god realized guru can only save u on life. Other relationship are just for name same. The only pure relationship which exist without any hidden interest is a relationship with god. In india marriage for women is servant cum slavery life. But women are brainwashed from childhood you are supposed to tolerate, give birth, clean toilet, cook food and serve 24x7. This is called nonsense. Women and men are same. Marriage should be a equal partnership which is unrealistic in most cases. During covid time 26000 house wifes in india did suicide. Why? Because the slaves master is home torturing them. Do not simply close eyes and speak. Look around and see the slavery of women.
Most women are forced to give up job after marriage. Men are given the authority decision. Men decide women slaves agree. They simply sit in one corner and orders. These slaves work around all time. Night time she is utilized for sex. So where will a women have time for herself. This is such a hypocrite society. Why India is lowest in divorce rate? Because people live in toxic relationship bcz they are afraid of society. Society torture divorce. So is the 16th century culture.
I cannot further explain to people who live inside an eggshell thinking what a beautiful world i am in. Step out and see the reality of slavery housewife india.
Even movies dont expose this because its directed by men. Atleast there are few movies which expose this. Great inidan kitchen is one amoung them. Go and watch if u want. Bye
I have never come cross such best video. Super work.
Well explained and dispart lot more clarity.
OH MY GOD… This is need of the hour.. ❤❤❤
I would definitely tell after watching this video... It was a complete plate with all dishes ❣️
A very important quality is to see whethrr one can validate emotions. It gets a nightmare if one invalidate dismisses emotions, its like a partner cannot share anything in the long run. Now most grew up in homes with emotional neglect, in that case, to see if the person is willing to grow heal learn together. Just thid quality, that we didnt know so many things and I am willing to time learn to be a better human and do well as a team is epic Diamond. Another thing that is important is vision , someone who has a vision of love, has already felt the love affection within and would be able to bring that playfulness chivalry romance affection into the partnership and it would grow with time.
Thank you so much ❤. It's a beautiful video. I watched this at the right time.
Its Really Helpful Brother. THANK YOU 🥰
Wow!!! You just saved me brother. Thanks a lot.
Perfect video...on how to choose a partner or a life partner.
Posted at perfect timing, thank you 🙏
Amazing. This is really very helpful. Thankyou..
Spent the best 23 mins of my life
OMG just amazingly described ♥️
I would say this is the Best video on choosing a partner
Oooh Man finally thank Allah I've watched this video❤😊
This is the best video I found on this topic
Seriously, I feel it’s soo much easier to be crazy about a toxic person than to be crazy about a good person. Being with a good person in a long run feels “Boring” but if you think about it, isn’t that what we all want? Calm cool and composed ? Then why does it feel boring?😢
Ultimate Sir..❣👌👌very informative..👌🙂
Yaar one should not forget that the other person is also just a human will his or her own flaws. Unless the relationships are not verbally or physically abusive and have some form of violence learn to accept your partner with his or her flaws. N the simple hack is doosre person ko itna importance hi na do apni jindagi me ki har samay uske actions se farak pade. Apne me mast rehna seekho.
The best video on this topic ever
So far the best video on this topic, how easily he summarised and explained alllllll the concepts. Loved it
Assessment first , attachment latter❤
Excellent choice of subject!
I cant believe... This is absolutely True
virgin couples love & try to know each other like new born babies ,they are new to opposite sex emotions, feelings, bodies, and thus have lots of butterflies , anticipation, and goosebumps even while holding their partner's hand. They will do lots of mistakes with each other initially and there the fun lies ,they play with each other like rabbits . But if one partner is non virgin then he/she will laugh at his/her partner and cannot love back in the same way. That's why a virgin deserves another virgin
Awesome Advice. 🏂💙💙
Both Julie and John Gottman would love this too.✨
Your videos are really really very helpful ❤️ thanks a lotttt...
Can you Plzzzzz make a video on relationship and career , should you give up your relationship for career or can we have a beautiful relationship and at the same time excel in our career.....
If so , plz tell how to balance then properly 🙏🙏
My suggestion is if your have good partner you will really enjoy your success with her/him. So make balance both of them.
I really want to thank you for putting out this video✨