MOST DETAILED guide to choosing a partner | Based on relationship science

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 24 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 604

  • @abhiam18
    @abhiam18 ปีที่แล้ว +170

    The importance of a single life can only be understood after getting married. And hence the single life is understated.

  • @SumonAdakpbx
    @SumonAdakpbx 2 ปีที่แล้ว +461

    Avoiding the wrong person is far better than finding the right person. I hope people understand it sooner. You won't die if they who you think to be right don't come to you. You might think of dying if they who seem right at the beginning come and later leave you.

    • @shilpirana9568
      @shilpirana9568 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      we should avoid the wrong ones while searching/waiting for right one

    • @SumonAdakpbx
      @SumonAdakpbx 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@shilpirana9568 The first one is a priority, a necessity so that one's life doesn't become a living hell. The second one could be a luxury, a wish fulfilment even without which living is possible and even better with social services as people need knowledge, awareness, enlightenment, spiritual susceptibility more than a significant other in the time of growing number of humans vs resources.

    • @poonambairagi2809
      @poonambairagi2809 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      best advice🤗

    • @SumonAdakpbx
      @SumonAdakpbx 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@poonambairagi2809 thank you🙏

    • @NEEL681
      @NEEL681 ปีที่แล้ว

      So, Looks is not a actual criteria to choose the right partner...

  • @SR-mv2mf
    @SR-mv2mf 2 ปีที่แล้ว +612

    I ruled out so many red flags that I ruled out everyone

    • @Shridharlifeschooling
      @Shridharlifeschooling  2 ปีที่แล้ว +115

      Haha. Well single life can be good too :D

    • @newlife4503
      @newlife4503 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@Shridharlifeschooling yeah really..

    • @sizzlingschumi9005
      @sizzlingschumi9005 2 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      @@Shridharlifeschooling please make a video on single life for people entering or above 40s and road ahead with no marital prospects...

    • @SR-mv2mf
      @SR-mv2mf 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@Shridharlifeschooling hmm maybe but it’s very lonely you don’t even have an emergency contact

    • @veenak1000
      @veenak1000 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      😄

  • @Realestatetamil
    @Realestatetamil ปีที่แล้ว +78

    1. Attraction not good thing select partner
    2. Assement first attachment later
    3.Avoiding red flags way more important than collecting green flags
    4.2 categories are important to assess person
    Relationship outcome levels
    High important traits
    Relationship outcome level
    1) Positive
    it protects you from tough situation if they have
    2) synergy of dreams and desires
    Ask their short term, middle time,long time goal check cohesive with your goal , it shouldn't be opposite end ,if its it again red flag
    3) negative
    How well both of you managing emotion during conflict? To solve problem
    Through listen to partner
    Accept mistake
    Try to resolve
    Dont allow
    High negative emotion
    Inability to resolve conflict
    High important traits
    1.Equality of status
    Rules for both of us
    2.Unconditional respect
    Are they treating you with respect
    3.high priority for you and your Relationship
    1st priority it determines how much time and energy they are giving on you
    4. Loyalty
    Are they loyal to you ?
    Know their past ?
    Why they will be loyal to you ?
    5. Commitment
    Are they saying I will break up ,or they have some tolerance
    6.honesty and transparency
    Are this person is liar

    • @Terahydron
      @Terahydron 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      attractiveness is not bad but it should be reciprocated. else sex life will suffer. i have had two girls confess to me but I didn't find them attractive. now after many years, I do. so a woman is fine if shes shows equal interest in you

  • @shwetabhagat4482
    @shwetabhagat4482 ปีที่แล้ว +80

    Attraction is most important. Always remember that. You are choosing a romantic partner n not a flatmate, guardian or just friend. Attraction is not always looks.

    • @mswr3351
      @mswr3351 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      True… Attraction is more towards personality and how we feel with the person.. if we are attracted to someone we can spend 5-6 hours easily.. however if we r not attracted we can’t even tolerate the person more than 1 hours.. I feel we are even attracted to our friends.. there r ppl who we can’t even talk to

    • @Terahydron
      @Terahydron 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      in genz lingo vibes

    • @Sanji069
      @Sanji069 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Attraction will be lost in time, but compatibility will be there rest of the life - its not you can ignore attraction but there need to be balance between both

    • @SchoolOfUnlearning3
      @SchoolOfUnlearning3 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      You are a mother/father to your kids not just a romantic partner!

    • @Artlover2803
      @Artlover2803 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@SchoolOfUnlearning3 you not making sense. Your description sounds like incest.

  • @Dora23Jan
    @Dora23Jan ปีที่แล้ว +132

    When he says; run away when partner treats you inferior! And he is absolutely right.😂

  • @jenab3560
    @jenab3560 2 ปีที่แล้ว +254

    I trusted my brain the first time and my marriage still failed. Second time around, I'm trusting my gut feelings, and so far so good. There are challenges, but we love each other enough to make it work. I think love is the foundation you need, and the commitment that you will stick through.

    • @makeupbyavnijamwal3700
      @makeupbyavnijamwal3700 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      What should you choose love or money for marriage?

    • @jayeshbhagat4754
      @jayeshbhagat4754 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      What's ur suggestion for how to choose partner

    • @kobinsadvance
      @kobinsadvance 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@jayeshbhagat4754 You both should share the same belief system 80% of the time.

    • @theaditxys
      @theaditxys 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      In your case it's was hit and miss scenario, and it's doesn't prove anything.

    • @mythoughts238
      @mythoughts238 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Those days love conquers all. Today, compatability conquers all.

  • @arijitsahoo1589
    @arijitsahoo1589 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    We can't say that taking time to choose a partner always leads to successful relationship, so many relationships are successfully going for years with their acceptance in maximum 1 week only if they had really met their perfect match , it’s like a magical bond that never breaks❤😊

  • @advaithhegde5553
    @advaithhegde5553 2 ปีที่แล้ว +76

    Relationship outcome level:
    1)Positive
    2)Negative
    3)Desire of outcome
    High Importance traits:
    1)Equality of status-feelings,wishes etc.
    2)Unconditional respect
    3)High priority for relationships and you.
    4)Give higher attention, and are loyal to you.
    5)Ask the reasons for every answer they give.
    6)Commitment for life.

    • @RajeshSrivastava-fr7qz
      @RajeshSrivastava-fr7qz ปีที่แล้ว

      भौतिकवाद भोगवाद बाजारवाद स्वार्थवाद गलाकाट प्रतियोगिता "मेरा जीवन मेरी मरज़ी मेरी ख़ुद गर्जी" के दौर मे इंसान का खुद से रिश्ता सही नहीं है तो भाई दोस्त पत्नी सन्तान ससुराल के साथ क्या खाक सही रहेगा.......

  • @ericgideon7400
    @ericgideon7400 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    basically communication is the most important skill in relationship and marriage

  • @pragati__dhami
    @pragati__dhami 2 ปีที่แล้ว +107

    Just two days back, I got cheated on by someone who was looking for all these traits in me whilst himself being an absolute pretentious man with a habit of compulsively lying. This video is truly amazing tho. And when Shridhar says “don’t forget your deal breakers”, it hit home. It’s no shit. Before going into that relationship I was well aware of my needs and boundaries but as soon as I caught feelings, everything started to become hazy. Anyway, it’s sad we can’t undo what’s already happened. Although I am deeply hurt right now, I know I will be fine in a couple months/years. If anything, this was a huge lesson for me. Love and strength to anyone else who is going through the same pain right now. Just know, it wasn’t your fault, you’re not alone and this too shall pass❤️

    • @bts1true792
      @bts1true792 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      This too shall pass

    • @GlimpseOfJoy2022
      @GlimpseOfJoy2022 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yes ...it's very hurtful

    • @GlimpseOfJoy2022
      @GlimpseOfJoy2022 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Coz we are loyal at their back but later came to know from years he was cheating u

    • @Crispr_cas9th
      @Crispr_cas9th ปีที่แล้ว

      Don't worry u will be fine..

    • @pixie89
      @pixie89 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yes. And you're doing great. Stay strong

  • @Jagritidhariwal
    @Jagritidhariwal 2 ปีที่แล้ว +62

    Saw a thousand videos on dating, but no one has explained the stuff precisely the way you did. Thank you so much for this video✨🌸

    • @saswatupadhyaya410
      @saswatupadhyaya410 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Watch @shwetabh gangwar ,u will find other perspectives as well 👍

    • @aakash950
      @aakash950 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@saswatupadhyaya410 that will confuse her

    • @thewierd_thewonderful996
      @thewierd_thewonderful996 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      He makes men specific videos

    • @cacavb
      @cacavb 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Because it's still unnatural (artificial..man made issue) so there is no as such absolute conclusion..

  • @phaniraj5142
    @phaniraj5142 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Most of time we don't or can't choose our Parents, Teachers, Boss, wife and friends etc in life...but we feel and proudly believe that we have chosen one...

  • @sohinisaha597
    @sohinisaha597 2 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    I have been thru a failed arranged marriage. I can vouch for all that you have said to be true. But will add one more point, not giving in to attachment stems up from having a high self esteem. No amount of knowledage will work otherwise. To be able to love yourself alone and not only when validated in a relationship.

  • @ajeetalbert91
    @ajeetalbert91 2 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    Rules for men:
    1) Know yourself and be honest in expressing yourself! Don't try hard to impress! You cannot be that impressive person lifelong. Don't put efforts in this phase where you are trying to getting to know each other!
    2) Similar ideas or common goals with respect to finance means your relationship has already scored 50% marks.
    3) Excitement fades, monotony prevails and committment only saves. Stay committed to your partner! This is where you need to put in efforts. You will experience a different version of love when you just start caring for each other and be peaceful with each other's company.
    4) Choose your partner who is attractive for your eyes but not for the society's standards! Physical attraction is essential to engage in physìcal relationship, especially if you are a man. You have a visual stimulus that triggers the neural system and makes your little boy stand. You cannot fake to make your partner happy.
    5) Accept that you cannot have it all. Be a little bit of stoic here!

    • @VG-ew4cn
      @VG-ew4cn ปีที่แล้ว

      I'm really stuck at the 6) points you made. Physical attraction is important because as a man I need to feel excited about physical stuff. Any guidance on how to look at this requirement in an arranged marriage? Two girls with almost the same nature but one is okayish looking with a good salary and the other is good looking but has an average job. I should be looking at long-term stability as well but at the same time confused if I can ignore the looks.

    • @Rayis4444
      @Rayis4444 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@VG-ew4cnPhysical attraction is important but you need to understand what physical attraction is for you, it could be a tall guy, short guy, fair, dusky, curly hair, straight hair, etc. But do not rely on the social standards of looks- fair only, tall only, etc. Find out what your heart truly desires and what you truly like.

    • @random_person_on_internet
      @random_person_on_internet ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@VG-ew4cn no you shouldn't ignore looks
      It is the only thing makes a man fall in love with his wife
      Choose the girl whom you find attractive
      Salary of the girl have less importance
      You need to love her first
      Otherwise you will fail to love her and then she will have to live a miserable life where her husband doesn't feel any kind of attraction for her
      It is most painful situation for women
      ( coming from a woman)

  • @sujeethaca
    @sujeethaca 2 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    Attraction is very important in a relationship.. It is very difficult to form a connection without attraction.

    • @Shridharlifeschooling
      @Shridharlifeschooling  2 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      We can learn to reduce its importance. Not zero. Just less.

    • @Sona77.
      @Sona77. 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Attraction will spark your interest but it won’t maintain the relationship.

    • @jigarrajani7948
      @jigarrajani7948 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Very true,if attraction isn't important why do you need to have a relationship with a girl/woman ,this guy is just stupid

    • @loveshell007
      @loveshell007 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      In my experience, attraction can develop over time. Like u find a guy visually unattractive at first but then you start finding them cute once u get to know them.

  • @meghadave9363
    @meghadave9363 2 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    I think some level of attraction is required in a marriage. Otherwise it feels like a business partner

    • @meditation8905
      @meditation8905 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      True without attraction I don't think u love someone unconditionally .... it's not a different kind of love ...not a friendship ... looks don't matter

    • @Deb_deCoder
      @Deb_deCoder ปีที่แล้ว +2

      mrrg and relationship are wymn's business.. it's kind of transaction.. where men have to pay like a fool while she may or may not have s3x

  • @pallavi6939
    @pallavi6939 2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    Thank you so much for useful tips.. Actually I fell in toxic relationship ignoring Red flags & bearing consequences now. I have 2 teenage daughters who need this message to find genuine partners.. 🙏🏼

  • @Littlebuttercup8
    @Littlebuttercup8 28 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Seriously, I feel it’s soo much easier to be crazy about a toxic person than to be crazy about a good person. Being with a good person in a long run feels “Boring” but if you think about it, isn’t that what we all want? Calm cool and composed ? Then why does it feel boring?😢

  • @GS-um6ww
    @GS-um6ww 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Good analysis.. Mostly decisions are impulsive .... One need to learn commitment....Temperament suitability is to be checked

  • @drnaishadhpatel4399
    @drnaishadhpatel4399 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Explanation is top notch....i have suffered all those things in toxic relationship...you have to be mentally strong to overcome trauma and rejection...and i after few years i not regret my decisions

  • @brittelska1449
    @brittelska1449 ปีที่แล้ว +46

    I have ignored physical attraction and dated based on other qualities (reliability, consistency, attentiveness, good listener, thoughtful etc) and resented the lack of attraction the longer we were together until they started to actually repulse me. Two have still ended up to be narcissists.
    Really hesitant to take that advice again.

    • @VG-ew4cn
      @VG-ew4cn ปีที่แล้ว +6

      So you mean physical attraction is much more important?

    • @meditation8905
      @meditation8905 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Solely Depends on person .. if he or she is a good human being no need of just advice .

    • @pixie89
      @pixie89 ปีที่แล้ว

      Same here

    • @asmitabharati4956
      @asmitabharati4956 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Couldn't agree more, been there😢

    • @renu653
      @renu653 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Agree

  • @Sayantan365
    @Sayantan365 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Sir, most of your videos are superb, but this one is gold. Take a bow.
    I wish we had something like this earlier..

  • @123lsa
    @123lsa 2 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    Amazing work sir! This has helped me a lot. Sometimes we just forget the red flags and just get connected because the opposite person is attractive but I understand the importance of not letting go of the red flags! Thank you

  • @Stoic_Paatthh
    @Stoic_Paatthh 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Very very true,each and every word is worth understanding
    Many of us don't find red flags, sometimes our parents also do hurry,all they say,sab theek ho jaata hai,
    But avoiding the wrong person doesn't mean we have to fight back,amecabily partners should get separated, but in our indian families, after marriage specially, couples don't get separated amicably, specially lady has to fight for her rights, that's the irony

  • @debbiefloresbrown5317
    @debbiefloresbrown5317 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Love cover everything. Nobody perfect every person has red flags just depends who you love enough to tolerate everything.

  • @riyaraj3963
    @riyaraj3963 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    After reading the caption, I am forced to comment that we have no clue but it is not us who chooses the partner. It just happens.....btw you are doing a good job👍

  • @taherin.patel7
    @taherin.patel7 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Wow this is just wonderful ♥️ I just wish i could have watched this vedio an year back, I would never had given a chance to a toxic person! Love your content💕keep making this , the world needs you!

  • @satvikkhare1844
    @satvikkhare1844 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Feel lucky to be born in the era of TH-cam where this kind of precious information is available at my fingertips.

  • @srivinay3382
    @srivinay3382 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    That honesty line is 💯 correct.. one cannot find peace when the situation is like we need to assess the other person's words everytime like a detective
    By the end.. we want to be a partner not a detective ✌️

  • @stelinethomas3580
    @stelinethomas3580 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Very very useful & explained in a way that's easy to digest. Absolutely loved the content & structure

  • @ravishingtwinkle3811
    @ravishingtwinkle3811 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    As I work on myself, I am attracted to values in a person, also how loving accepting they are to themselves

  • @rupak1048
    @rupak1048 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I have never thought there can be such criteria to choose your partner. Life was not easy and now i am getting to know it's more than not easy

  • @MoulyBhatt
    @MoulyBhatt 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This is one of the best relationship videos I have watched in a while. There are not very many resourceful videos for south Asian culture in mind. Kudos to you!!!!

  • @educatedkannadiga
    @educatedkannadiga 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Watching this again after the gap of 6 months. Every word in the script is thought out. Carefully listen and utilise this knowledge

  • @nishakumari6735
    @nishakumari6735 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Yeah noticing red flags is important but I find your suggestions to be full of expectations from the other person to be "perfect".. and that's where relationships fail..it might end up making one or both suspicious about each and every move they take or talk about. That's where expressing oneself verbally backfires..

    • @nishantkumar6960
      @nishantkumar6960 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      absolutely lol, especially the last one when he said, keep repeating a mantra and he gave his mantra, "if I experience a red flag, I'll leave."
      Just imagine how torturing and disastrous it is. It's like he/she is only waiting for a red flag to appear to use it as an opportunity to end the relationship lol. In that case you already have made your whole life a suffering even if you get a perfect partner. No one is perfect. Humans are full of flaws.
      I'm sure everyone will definitely encounter some red flag (from their perspective) at some point in their relationships. Its like he/she has been waiting for the red flag opportunity his/her whole life lol.
      I'd rather say instead of the red flags see the green flags, like if the partner is understanding, trustworthy, respects his/her personal space or not and Physical attributes are comparable or not.
      In simple words see the person has good sanskar or not.
      If someone has so much fear then they should simply avoid any long term relationships especially marriage.
      My friend had narcissistic, selfish nature who hurt me a lot finally I stopped talking to her. Still I'm not running behind such a level of perfection. Although I'm afraid of relationships. But my point is you should be more brave rather than being more cautious if you want to be in a good relationship. Relationship should be about emotion and not some robotic brain logic and dumb mathematical calculations. If the partner hurts you constantly then bad luck, choose god now 😊

    • @nishakumari6735
      @nishakumari6735 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@nishantkumar6960 👍

  • @MrunaliniPatil98
    @MrunaliniPatil98 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    So perfectly explained. Amazing !!! This is giving 100 % clarity

  • @kaberigomes2117
    @kaberigomes2117 2 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    Using logical tool to solve feelings like love, is like taking knife to a Gun fight. 😅. Obviously you are correct Sir. But even dating coaches make simple mistakes, because no one, can truly make correct decision, when overwhelmed with emotions.

    • @naveenjose7710
      @naveenjose7710 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      But emotions will die soon.........Logic and rational thinking is always correct.
      Imagine if bullets are emptied,the gun is waste.But knife will be still useful.

    • @kaberigomes2117
      @kaberigomes2117 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@naveenjose7710 The point is. No one can take logical steps when overwhelmed with emotions. And you will fuck up the relationship yourself at one point in time. You cannot make a checklist, to stop yourself from falling for wrong people. It's the part and parcel of the dating process. You will never know they are right or wrong, before the moment of test comes.
      If this was possible, psychologist would give certificates of traits a person has, to make dating and selection of partners easy.
      Even they can only guess what a person is, or will behavior in the future.

    • @naveenjose7710
      @naveenjose7710 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@kaberigomes2117 Yeah.There is nothing wrong with following emotions.In a relationship if the other person truly loves you or values you both can change their behaviour pattern for mutual interest.
      But sadly,if one follows emotions like pure lust , body shape, colour, beauty.Love from these emotions fades away and will be problematic in future.

    • @kaberigomes2117
      @kaberigomes2117 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@naveenjose7710 We are straying away from the video. Just answer me this question. Will you now like a girl but leave them after going through this checklist recommended in the video. Plain and simple answer.

    • @naveenjose7710
      @naveenjose7710 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@kaberigomes2117 After some life experience not only girls,even with male friends one will do checklist and interact carefully.
      Last month I even rejected sex offer from a married lady doctor who is in my neighborhood.
      Careless relationships come with heavy price later.

  • @priyavassarker8070
    @priyavassarker8070 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    That's why Saturn gets exalted in Libra. Libra is a sign of relationship , Saturn represents hard work and relationship actually requires hard work so it make sense.

    • @zohra8_8
      @zohra8_8 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yeh kaha se aa gaya 😂😂😂

    • @guppyd69
      @guppyd69 ปีที่แล้ว

      Aaap kehna kya chahte ho?

  • @gowthamibala9384
    @gowthamibala9384 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I am grateful that I can consume this entire contact free. This video has a great deal of information that will retrospect your every decision.

  • @shreehoney8738
    @shreehoney8738 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Trust me …you are such a amazing person sir ..thanks a lot for giving such good content …🤟😀

  • @chandrimamukherjee1473
    @chandrimamukherjee1473 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    I guess I am a good fit to comment. I was in a toxic marriage for a decade ignoring these red flags and my partner ended up cheating on me. I knew from the beginning I was not his priority, I knew he is a liar, I knew our expectations from life were different still I stayed in that toxic suffocating marriage.. I am separated for 2 years with a child and dealt with depression and trust issue due to his cheating. My child suffered a lot because of my wrong decision. Trust me guys you don't want to feel cheated in a relationship it will break you and your self confidence into pieces. So choose wisely.

    • @Deb_deCoder
      @Deb_deCoder ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Too many bengalees are getting divorced.. it will be foolish step for bengali men to mrry and lose money in alimony and child support

    • @chandrimamukherjee1473
      @chandrimamukherjee1473 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Deb_deCoder soo typical to reply in my comment. I shouldn't but still let me tell you I am working and not expecting his alimony..and if we talk about child support let me remind you the child belongs to both so support should also be provided from both end...Anyway it's difficult to make dumb ppl understand Bengali girls have strong backbone, so we don't need to depend on men's alimony, our education is enough to provide for us and our child .

    • @creativecosmos4132
      @creativecosmos4132 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Glad to know you are self aware and are doing better. Many women are going through the same and are sooner than later realizing that toxic relationships are not worth it. Kudos to you.

  • @roamingwithsubhom
    @roamingwithsubhom 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank god I came across this video ❤️ I'm 26 and single. I hope I will find someone better 😌

  • @sowjanyap5827
    @sowjanyap5827 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I have been ignoring all red flags and adjusted till I got divorced. Now with the freedom and self esteem I gained back, I feel so stupid to stick to that relation. Believe me single life is so much better even when you are a single parent.

  • @nandamaharjan2985
    @nandamaharjan2985 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you, this is a wonderful work you put together precisely and concisely. These things may sound simple but a lot of people don’t even know.

  • @nibeditasharma2665
    @nibeditasharma2665 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I dont think calculation can make a relationship work..but may be help in getting better..without emotion a relationship is just a,deal..

  • @gargi3553
    @gargi3553 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    This is really the best video on choosing a partner I have ever seen
    Thnq soo much sir🙏

  • @saketpanigrahi
    @saketpanigrahi 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Guys please dont listen to youtube or any social media. Try to understand your parten communicate and be hopeful. I am sharing my own experience such youtubers make a stereotype and those who believe blindly on them get persuade. My girlfriend told me that some of my behaviour pattern are like this so she thought something else which i am actually unaware and not even an inch associated with .
    It will ruon your life to take suggestions from outside. Its your life dont look for shortcuts . Explore your partner try spend more time to understand them . Talk about past future etc to make bonding and connection.
    Its ok to get failed in a relationship . We as a human are entitled to make mistakes and learn from them not from a random TH-cam suggestion.
    And its my humble request to girls also they are somehow getting manipulated. ( Not gender biased view but based on personal expenses which could be wrong)
    Think wisely.
    Best pf luck.

  • @raginisharma9302
    @raginisharma9302 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    What an Amazing Video Sridhar- this comes at the right time and your first point on attraction was so apt. Loved watching the brilliant tips.
    Thank you 🙏

  • @Nidhi_Maheshwari
    @Nidhi_Maheshwari 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    10:41 Right on 🙌🏼

  • @katyhodea9229
    @katyhodea9229 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Very well sketched and super professional. Thanks

  • @debashreedebasmita1724
    @debashreedebasmita1724 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    There is nothing bigger than destiny

  • @siddhipandeyvlogs5127
    @siddhipandeyvlogs5127 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Mentality ❤
    Understanding ❤
    Respect ❤
    Bas aur kuch nhi chahiye.

  • @ShreyasKa92
    @ShreyasKa92 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Disagree with few things here like person has had sex before - It is a red flag when you’re still a virgin.
    This creates a trauma response of insecurity and distrustful behaviour.
    If both the people have body count(s) then it does not matter.
    Why would a virgin give up his/her virginity to someone who has been physically and emotionally used?
    That doesn’t seem right.

  • @pushpalatamohan5632
    @pushpalatamohan5632 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    You speak wonderfully sir . I watch your videos as they are very interesting . My daughter is MS OBSTETRIC AND GYNECOLOGY . Selecting the right person becomes difficult when you have two to three choice .Dilemma to choose . Arranged marriages very difficult to decide because very less time to assess. Ultimately it is big gamble i feel as a mother of a girl. Whatever homework one does risk remains . Only God helps us if our karma is good. I cant stop admiring your personality sir .

  • @sanaafzal6150
    @sanaafzal6150 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I saw this video a little late and made the same mistake, chose a guy on attraction and height... the ever worse decision of my life.
    He just walked out one day silently leaving me devastated. I'm still trying to recover from the trauma.
    May GOD heal my soul.

    • @tayyabnazir512
      @tayyabnazir512 ปีที่แล้ว

      Ameen

    • @Deb_deCoder
      @Deb_deCoder ปีที่แล้ว

      respect his decision.. he may have lost attraction for you while being in the relationship

    • @Terahydron
      @Terahydron 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      no attraction is necessary. after being attracted try to find qualities. don't find qualities in random people. these things are hierarchical, not lateral. attraction first, loyalty second (but a must) , then nature

  • @divyadiva84
    @divyadiva84 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Yaar one should not forget that the other person is also just a human will his or her own flaws. Unless the relationships are not verbally or physically abusive and have some form of violence learn to accept your partner with his or her flaws. N the simple hack is doosre person ko itna importance hi na do apni jindagi me ki har samay uske actions se farak pade. Apne me mast rehna seekho.

  • @riachowdhury518
    @riachowdhury518 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Very good advice. Clear and easy to follow. Thanks for this video.

  • @Vicky-qo1dp
    @Vicky-qo1dp 23 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Key points:-
    1. Attractiveness ( rich / cool / tall / status/..etc ) should not the correct way to choose.
    2. Don't make decisions based on gut feeling, emotionally.
    3. Connection is a drug, you want to talk daily, everything you want to tell and ask, if you lose connection then you will fell pain
    4. Go slow - put the car in lower gear.
    5. Take feedback from other people and slowly observe red and green flags
    6 check positivity in a relationship, synergy of dream,
    7. To be continued....😊

  • @riyarose4514
    @riyarose4514 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The way you explained…hats offf…Thank you

  • @canopyinthecity
    @canopyinthecity 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    1. Positivity 2. Goals aligning 3. Conflict Resolution

    • @canopyinthecity
      @canopyinthecity 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      1. Equality 2. Respect 3. Priority 4. Loyalty 5. Commitment for life 6. Honestly & Transpency

  • @harikrishna7626
    @harikrishna7626 21 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Bro your really great I have never seen such a good video on relationship.
    I was also connected to a person like this after the distance it was very difficult to forget her now only after some couple of months my brain is thinking rationally on the relationship thanks bro❤

  • @sadafperween6865
    @sadafperween6865 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Omggg!!how well u explained and covered all topics !!I have watched tons of video regarding this topic but couldn't find as informative as this video.lol❤️🤗

  • @dr.p.e.d.i.a.t.r.i.c.s
    @dr.p.e.d.i.a.t.r.i.c.s หลายเดือนก่อน

    No matter how well u explain people will start choosing partner based on looks and Complexion first

  • @annurai5196
    @annurai5196 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    The best way to determine how a man will be with u is to live with his parents rather than him. If u like what is going on with his parents then yes. If the father or mother has cheated then no

  • @PreetiSingh-bh1ff
    @PreetiSingh-bh1ff 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    You explain very well.. if we talk a person for 4,5 Times, slowly we feels connection ( sigreet habit) but it doesn't mean we are competable .
    Nice 👍 explanation,nice research 👍

  • @amrapalibhagat1111
    @amrapalibhagat1111 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Believing in your gut feeling or intuition is the most important thing. If something is not feeling good just walk away.
    Attraction is very important if I don't feel attracted towards my life partner ,I can't get into physical relationship.
    Premmunshi ji bahot hi khubsurat baat kahi hai " vivah ka adhaar prem hona chahiye,agar nahi hai to woh sharir ka vikray hoga". Isiliye attraction hona bhi jaruri hai.

  • @priyaak8273
    @priyaak8273 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Ultimate speech sridhar sir, ur good in knowledge talks, i really liked ;helped me alot this video 🙏 ❤️💚💛💙💜thank u

  • @vickyAlways
    @vickyAlways ปีที่แล้ว +6

    virgin couples love & try to know each other like new born babies ,they are new to opposite sex emotions, feelings, bodies, and thus have lots of butterflies , anticipation, and goosebumps even while holding their partner's hand. They will do lots of mistakes with each other initially and there the fun lies ,they play with each other like rabbits . But if one partner is non virgin then he/she will laugh at his/her partner and cannot love back in the same way. That's why a virgin deserves another virgin

  • @spoorthidi5544
    @spoorthidi5544 หลายเดือนก่อน

    His each and every point in 💯 true. I agreed all his points bcz i have see and experienced those red flags

  • @mswr3351
    @mswr3351 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I think Positivity and commitment are the most important deal breaker… a committed person will grow for the relationship, they will make it work by changing all bad things.. they put efforts to make it work…
    No matter how much good person he or she is.. if they are not committed they will run even when small disagreement happens

    • @mswr3351
      @mswr3351 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      If you are interested you will do what is convenient.. if you are committed you will do whatever it takes..❤
      I have been with a nice guy who has committed issues.. he Ran just after our first disagreement (he told me that I have became fat and i got hurt by the way he told.. I just asked him to be kind and he has right to tell me anything he wants but just be kind) he got offended and stopped talking

  • @siddharthpathare2
    @siddharthpathare2 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Upto the mark explanation, really a psychological, scientific and rational approach. Thanks clearing thaught process.

  • @souravdebnath1584
    @souravdebnath1584 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    You speak as much as a man can be perfect. 🎉

  • @shashijaiswal688
    @shashijaiswal688 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    He is applying logic everywhere but people do not live together based on these logics. They genuinely feel that love. He is giving 0 importance to attraction but let me tell u there is no one as perfect...his point is right that attraction is not logical... That is completely irrational but sometimes we must give importance to emotion too .. there are many peoples who do not love each other but have to live together.
    If u love other person then you will do compromise and try in every possible way to live together happily. Basically you will naturally feel everything... Nothing will be forced.

  • @dharmilshah9367
    @dharmilshah9367 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    The Best video on how to find the Life partner. Thank you so much for such Great wisdom ❤

  • @jayeshdeore1973
    @jayeshdeore1973 2 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    The guide is good but I feel this makes it more difficult. Almost everyone is flawed. And meeting person with so much criterion driven search mindset can really break the deal for the other person. It is unfortunate that we can't date in Indian society that easily to really assess these things.

    • @fazeenamansoor
      @fazeenamansoor 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Exactly

    • @sele403
      @sele403 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      jayesh deore
      I agree to you but can I give you some advice regard this ?

    • @nidhikhurana6746
      @nidhikhurana6746 ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@sele403please can u give the advice . I am looking forward to hearing from you.

  • @ravishingtwinkle3811
    @ravishingtwinkle3811 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

    A very important quality is to see whethrr one can validate emotions. It gets a nightmare if one invalidate dismisses emotions, its like a partner cannot share anything in the long run. Now most grew up in homes with emotional neglect, in that case, to see if the person is willing to grow heal learn together. Just thid quality, that we didnt know so many things and I am willing to time learn to be a better human and do well as a team is epic Diamond. Another thing that is important is vision , someone who has a vision of love, has already felt the love affection within and would be able to bring that playfulness chivalry romance affection into the partnership and it would grow with time.

  • @overthemoonflorist9135
    @overthemoonflorist9135 ปีที่แล้ว

    You are a gem who saved so many😢 i really wanna thankyouuuu. I have tears😢 thankyouuuu so mucchhhh ❤

  • @srishtisaini5434
    @srishtisaini5434 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Well explained and dispart lot more clarity.

  • @manishaambwani1571
    @manishaambwani1571 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Perfect video...on how to choose a partner or a life partner.

  • @BeTheBull12x7
    @BeTheBull12x7 ปีที่แล้ว

    I have never come cross such best video. Super work.

  • @neelamsolanki7348
    @neelamsolanki7348 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Each ans every word makes so much sense

  • @SNUG00701
    @SNUG00701 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    But I don’t think one can go ahead without “attraction” later in life what if you realize,even if the person has all the good qualities…you never really loved him ?

  • @typicalmovieactingantariks1650
    @typicalmovieactingantariks1650 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The best video on this topic ever

  • @fazeenamansoor
    @fazeenamansoor 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thanks for your work and the effort.
    This is all after finding a person. The problem is how to find a person...
    This matrimonial arranged shit is a headache. What if the person needs a love marriage?
    Without an attraction how love starts? If the both parties watched your video even nobody is going to propose and according to your opinion then arranged marriage is the only option for everyone then. Love is stupid, blind and very much lacking emotional intelligence, If it comes after an assessment then it's not love my dear its like a good project work. Let love be natural it's like wind you can never hold the wind, you do not know the reason why it comes and how it starts.

    • @Deb_deCoder
      @Deb_deCoder ปีที่แล้ว +1

      you have romantic thinking about love.. may be watched too many movies.. understand that they lie in movies.. real life is very much different.. love is just a chemical reaction which can stay max 3 years after mrrg.. that's why wymn take intelligent decision of mrrying rich guys.. love fades away after some time.. money, lifestyle are what stays

  • @bhawnakushwaha0403
    @bhawnakushwaha0403 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Fantastic video.U just cleared all of my doubts..❣️

  • @brindapatni2871
    @brindapatni2871 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Superb video. Thank you so much. Much much much needed one. 1 request please speak slowly. I understand very well but the one who can't will miss important message.
    Again excellent work.😊

  • @neelamsolanki7348
    @neelamsolanki7348 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I cant believe... This is absolutely True

  • @riyandas9332
    @riyandas9332 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    what you described as "positivity in a relationship" that can be only achieved when you have emotional connection with that person but in the beginning you said not rush for it. now this is contradictory

  • @priyakamboj1261
    @priyakamboj1261 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    So far the best video on this topic, how easily he summarised and explained alllllll the concepts. Loved it

  • @uditjoshi1407
    @uditjoshi1407 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Excellent choice of subject!

  • @jayalakshmi9513
    @jayalakshmi9513 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I caught in the red flag criteria relationship, I asked him to leave us(Me and baby). So he wanted me to apply for divorce so that he dont want to contribute financially. Even for divorce he is thinking to be in a safer side. I just ruined my life and babies life, from starting am the one who is taking care completely, both financial and house stuffs. I thought one day these things will change, but now it is almost 2.6 years, but nothing changed. From day one of my marriage i am struggling alot. Not sure what to do now, so me and baby are staying alone now and going with the flow.

    • @hemantpanchpor
      @hemantpanchpor 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Time is only medicine with ignoring some red flags. Staying away too helps to make person understands what if you're not there! It surely affects kids, as per my experience with my other divorced friends.

    • @jayalakshmi9513
      @jayalakshmi9513 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      th-cam.com/video/OMmO_ISOii8/w-d-xo.html

    • @eagleseye6576
      @eagleseye6576 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Be happy. This relationship marriage are forced on girls by this parents and society. If we really ask ourselves we need peace of mind to live. But we ourselves spoil it by allowing other toxic people in life. So these are the rules for live mental peace
      Rule 1: cut out all toxic relationship including husband from life.
      Rule 2. Live according to heart desire despite of what parents or society say.
      Rule 3. This marriage thing never work bcz no man get satisfied with one woman or one women get satisfied with one man. Bcz having good sex is part of life. Boring sex with one person can never offer anything. It is a fact. So marriages always fail. But since india is still in 16h century women tolerate and live as slave.
      Rule 4. Be free like a bird and live. Your kid is ur blessing and you are blessed by god to use your personal time which you got wasted for your husband earlier. Enjoy life. You are complete. Society dont define you. You define you. Happy life🌈🌈🌈

    • @hemantpanchpor
      @hemantpanchpor 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@eagleseye6576 , I've some comments on your rules.
      1. You can't cut off relationship with anyone either here or in reincarnation, if you believe in it. If you cut off, you carry "baggage" throughout your life, like you're carrying.
      2. You can't live "independently" as you've no experience of "marriage" before it happens. Parents want to get rid of their "responsibility " by marrying of kids. Of course, you've to live according to heart desires, even when while in marriage, atleast once in week for atleast one hour. Financial independence is the key with personality development.
      3. This marriage relationship works with many including your parents. It didn't work out for you. It needs a lot of tolerance, understanding, and most importantly, time. Hot tempered are in hot waters, if they don't manage their emotions. It's all about "respect" and life management techniques. "Control" on other partner is the main culprit.
      4. I agree with you for your defining self, and not bound by social norms though. Live like a bird free from mental stress and lead happy life.

    • @eagleseye6576
      @eagleseye6576 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@hemantpanchpor
      You are born alone and you die alone. Then why u create chaos and simply think all are genuine and waste ur time. Your own god realized guru can only save u on life. Other relationship are just for name same. The only pure relationship which exist without any hidden interest is a relationship with god. In india marriage for women is servant cum slavery life. But women are brainwashed from childhood you are supposed to tolerate, give birth, clean toilet, cook food and serve 24x7. This is called nonsense. Women and men are same. Marriage should be a equal partnership which is unrealistic in most cases. During covid time 26000 house wifes in india did suicide. Why? Because the slaves master is home torturing them. Do not simply close eyes and speak. Look around and see the slavery of women.
      Most women are forced to give up job after marriage. Men are given the authority decision. Men decide women slaves agree. They simply sit in one corner and orders. These slaves work around all time. Night time she is utilized for sex. So where will a women have time for herself. This is such a hypocrite society. Why India is lowest in divorce rate? Because people live in toxic relationship bcz they are afraid of society. Society torture divorce. So is the 16th century culture.
      I cannot further explain to people who live inside an eggshell thinking what a beautiful world i am in. Step out and see the reality of slavery housewife india.
      Even movies dont expose this because its directed by men. Atleast there are few movies which expose this. Great inidan kitchen is one amoung them. Go and watch if u want. Bye

  • @RASHMISINGH-re5hj
    @RASHMISINGH-re5hj 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This is the best video I found on this topic

  • @arthyshankar9922
    @arthyshankar9922 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Fantastic presentation! However, I beg to differ with that ''gut feeling' part. I feel its a strong yet subtle force that pops up and whispers in our ears like an oracle that 'something's not ok', yet which we choose to ignore.

  • @CuriousAboutTravel
    @CuriousAboutTravel 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I would say this is the Best video on choosing a partner

  • @rajneeshkaur2781
    @rajneeshkaur2781 ปีที่แล้ว

    OH MY GOD… This is need of the hour.. ❤❤❤

  • @Jayantgosain
    @Jayantgosain ปีที่แล้ว

    Wow!!! You just saved me brother. Thanks a lot.

  • @oniichann-gaming
    @oniichann-gaming ปีที่แล้ว

    Personality , Thought about this world and thought about others we should see for a long term relationship and lifetime merrage .

  • @Queen.himshi
    @Queen.himshi 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Amazing. This is really very helpful. Thankyou..

  • @renukatandi5979
    @renukatandi5979 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    After watching this video I subscribed your channel. I liked too much this video. You explained everything clearly which will helpful in the way of choosing someone perfect ❤️