10 questions to ask before marrying someone | Therapist's Advice | 9

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ธ.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 133

  • @satvikkhare1844
    @satvikkhare1844 ปีที่แล้ว +60

    absolute 24k carat gold content, this is much needed in any marriage talks. Major issues come in marriage when people simply assume answers to these questions from the other person.

  • @EagleButterfly
    @EagleButterfly ปีที่แล้ว +58

    Some people are clever, they answers cleverly according to us and change after marriage

    • @arpit.sharma
      @arpit.sharma 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

      If someone has lied to you & there's a pattern, then you do realize that person's not worth it. Leave them

  • @aiswaryababuraj7635
    @aiswaryababuraj7635 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    I found these 10 questions are worth for a person to ask and get cleared before marriage who is wishing to find a suitable life partner .Thank you so much for helping me while providing informative and useful vedios like this .Please pray for me so that I get a wonderful life partner🙏I would also wish to all those who watches this vedio be blessed with a wonderful life partner .May God bless you and each and very one who reads this abundantly 🥰❤💕

  • @deepakamat1823
    @deepakamat1823 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Before Marriage all big and good talks.
    Finally As After Marriage commitment fails. Trust, respect, love, interference, ego, attitude from family, friends, relatives etc. At times toxic relationships and dealing with Narcasist. Some people never change even after 40's. That may get Married twice, thrice or may be more without any fear
    of disolution of Marriage.

  • @ManpreetSingh-cj7hj
    @ManpreetSingh-cj7hj ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Most underrated channel , u deserve to one the most subscribed indian TH-cam channel.. honestly.. I'm literally loving ur content

  • @barnaliadhikary9421
    @barnaliadhikary9421 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    Well...I am really afraid if marriage or relationship with any guy because I have simply noticed that heteronormativity is eventually about patriarchal gender role and related values and norms .. men are mostly reluctant to share equal homemaking responsibilities and child nurturing... Ego clash is a problem... family interference specially from the boy's side is nasty.... Marriage is still a patriarchal societal institution... Where many women feel suffocated but society makes us feel that as if marriage & having children is the sole way of leading a fulfilling life... But I really doubt...
    But may these 10 questions are significant for those who are seriously looking for a life partner and have made their minds for getting married.

    • @nikitafernandes461
      @nikitafernandes461 ปีที่แล้ว

      So true 💯💯
      Patriarchy hits very hard and every man wants to have kids if a woman does not wish then

    • @parnalidas0
      @parnalidas0 ปีที่แล้ว

    • @050138
      @050138 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      ​@@nikitafernandes461having kids is nothing to do with patriarchy.... It's following evolutionary biology which has been the norm for years and eons since dawn of evolution among all the species of animals....
      Equality is a more recent concept.... But nature didn't create us equal.... Having said that I strictly oppose gender based crimes and exploitation.... But there is some amount of discrimination that nature itself has shown in creating both the genders.... If there was no need for two distinct genders, we would never have evolved as two distinct genders, simple is that....
      Feminism or clamoring for gender equality is not the issue.... Yes, both genders have to be empowered and independent, but realizing and accepting that there limits to that equality is the most important thing which makes a person wise....

    • @Terahydron
      @Terahydron 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      That's because modern world has made the role of men obsolete.
      In stone age being a housewife was 100 Times easier than being a man
      But still women weren't as glamourous as now because life took its toll on us as we lived almost like animals.
      Especially rich households where both are capable of earning non cooperative husband can be a nightmare.
      So either arranged or love ,you must discuss everything in detail or if you can control your urge to be a mom you can remain single

    • @Terahydron
      @Terahydron 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@nikitafernandes461no wrong not everyone wants to have kids

  • @srishtijha3
    @srishtijha3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Wow, loved it, Do recommend a part 2 or a series on marriage advices

  • @prokritiroy5055
    @prokritiroy5055 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    It’s so comforting and clarifying to watch you! Thank you for the videos

  • @swetalika
    @swetalika ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Transparency is the best policy. 👍
    No secrets in relationship.

  • @avanthikaduraiswamy7023
    @avanthikaduraiswamy7023 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Excellent, no-nonsensical content. Just the kind of adviser I was searching for, but had to sift through 10 layers of shallow clickbait videos before I got here 👍

  • @ManpreetSingh-cj7hj
    @ManpreetSingh-cj7hj ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Wow.. u are soo sane and sorted...❤

  • @sameersami924
    @sameersami924 ปีที่แล้ว +106

    What if they lie

    • @Ayushipurohit5-AIIMS
      @Ayushipurohit5-AIIMS ปีที่แล้ว +27

      With time, their own actions tells the truth. Take your time and Then judge.
      That's why we believe na 'Action Speaks'

    • @roastmaker1233
      @roastmaker1233 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      your life is gone 😢

    • @tiffgplu2590
      @tiffgplu2590 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      90% will lie..be careful and choose wisely..don't ever rush ..or be asked too..else it's not worth it

    • @praveenraj-vk7hn
      @praveenraj-vk7hn ปีที่แล้ว

      Game over.

    • @iamunpublished
      @iamunpublished ปีที่แล้ว

      ☹️

  • @archanakj8664
    @archanakj8664 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    All these questions are good but no one will answer the truth. Its best to understand a person than asking him these questions

  • @dharanisairaj9426
    @dharanisairaj9426 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    To a question about cooking and cleaning ❓
    we must decide what we do in life based on who we are,our personalities, individual strength and weaknesses interest and finally compromising, negotiating,team work.....lol😂😅Finally concluding there is no set template there...a person should believe in his individuality, differences and variability 😂😂

  • @anchalbansal7486
    @anchalbansal7486 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    One of the best videos...very informative and deep...❤️❤️

  • @nandhithanandhu9609
    @nandhithanandhu9609 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Are you married??? 😅😅 Im going through this phase where Im shit scared if I'll end up not observing the red flags and settle with someone whos regressive aggressive 😅

  • @mrityunjayvikramsingh4552
    @mrityunjayvikramsingh4552 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    5'th point ( the Transparemcy one)-
    Someone tells me something and it is OUR secret. Isn't it just too much?!

  • @PulinPegu
    @PulinPegu ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Good points…however money management should have been a separate point

  • @juhichaudhary3657
    @juhichaudhary3657 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I guess these questions are good to know even before starting relationship, if a serious relationship in your mind

  • @sangeetamenon3181
    @sangeetamenon3181 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    This is a great subject....however more refinement needed.If u ask them about their sexual orientation..will they be open about it? Many wont... because they hv the family pressure to bear kids...then substance abuse, undiagnosed mental health issues....there is a plethora of issues when it comes to marriage. Pre Marriage counseling should be mandatory in India.

  • @srimantamukherjee5434
    @srimantamukherjee5434 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    1:29 Is it OK to ask someone about past relationships ? Especially in the context of arranged marriage....

  • @dd-tn8ur
    @dd-tn8ur ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I must say i needed this,thanks a lot

  • @padmalatha5962
    @padmalatha5962 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Hi,
    Because of one mistake I did before marriage,I didn't talk about our salary,work life balance,our future.Now,I lost job and little anxious about leaving my child to go to work.My husband is good sometimes and sometimes is mumma boy.Expecting me to take care of his parents,with which I'm not okay with.My husband has own house but should give 5 lakhs to brother's wife and they want control on us.Specially my mil wants control on us.Me and my husband didn't talk before marriage,now I'm quite anxious about future.Please help me.

  • @sonnaligaur1561
    @sonnaligaur1561 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    I feel more like a HR interview 😂😂 I asked a boy why you want to get married there was 30 seconds silence and the end 😂😂😂😂

    • @amangopal7659
      @amangopal7659 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Loll so truee, that's exactly what I think, I fr don't want to look like a interviewer but how to ask these questions without looking like one! Like how am I supposed to keep the questionnaire natural lol 😹

    • @Terahydron
      @Terahydron 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Be brave and ask.
      I have asked everything I wanted to.
      Whether she will be submissive, whether she's a virgin.
      Does she thinks love will fade and she will divorce or stay if we are cordial.
      People use excuse of culture and maturity ( right wing and left wing respectively) to defend their cowardice.

    • @ShivamVerma-uc5cy
      @ShivamVerma-uc5cy 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@Terahydron Can you give an update, how is it going

    • @Terahydron
      @Terahydron 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@ShivamVerma-uc5cy i dropped the idea of marriage. The only girl I liked wants kids

    • @raghavsridhar
      @raghavsridhar 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Sonali are you married??

  • @SantoshAM
    @SantoshAM ปีที่แล้ว +5

    You know when you ask first two questions and goes to third she will be like “are you taking my interview?” And walks out. That creates bad impression straight up.

    • @Terahydron
      @Terahydron 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Necessary step.
      No marriage is better than bad marriage.
      Remain virgin till 35 ask all this.
      After that try for love in relationship.
      Atleast 10 years before marriage.
      Else go to prostitutes and after you turn 50 get a surrogate mother if you feel like having kids

  • @Pariperi
    @Pariperi 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I actually disagree with 5:12, it’s kinda of a red flag. I think there needs to be personal boundaries. Maturing is realising nobody knows someone completely, be it your parents/siblings/spouse etc. everyone has stuff they prefer to keep to themselves aka secrets. If someone expresses the need to know constantly know everything about their person it can Indicate a lack of trust and respect for personal space/privacy. People can be transparent but still have personal boundaries.

  • @panduranga421
    @panduranga421 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Also financial freedom for couples
    Money management ...How and how much they spend money on things
    How much rights a couple should have to each others money

  • @that_ocd_guy
    @that_ocd_guy ปีที่แล้ว

    Waiting for the next set of absolutely quintessential 10 questions

  • @arijitbardhan4793
    @arijitbardhan4793 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    What a half assed form of suggestions, though the questions are good.

  • @ChildFirst
    @ChildFirst 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    What questions to ask in Arrange Marriage?

  • @rahulsardeshmukh8649
    @rahulsardeshmukh8649 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Very knowledgeable & good video

  • @sangeetamenon3181
    @sangeetamenon3181 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    People can lie ...and make a good impression. What if their anger makes them beat up people? Would they confess?! everything in the marriage market is a lie... possibly even the properties they own could be gifted by rich parents..
    In order to make their ward eligible 😂

  • @sandeepsomasunder3397
    @sandeepsomasunder3397 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    What mic are you using?

  • @mubarakhussain3031
    @mubarakhussain3031 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Parents say best for their children
    Please respect them and try to figure out something that will not hurt them and yourselves too

  • @nikitafernandes461
    @nikitafernandes461 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you so much Sir for this video 💯

  • @radhikagarg2961
    @radhikagarg2961 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    How do you bring them up in such a way that it doesn't seem like interviewing? Do they have to be direct questions or is it possible to subtly start conversations around them?

    • @martinkarori7203
      @martinkarori7203 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Ofcourse it's an interview. You are interviewing someone who will with forever. So ask.....

  • @RealRandomVideos
    @RealRandomVideos 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    What if after we share our vulnerabilities, they are used against us once we go into relationship?

  • @buddyatnj
    @buddyatnj ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Ask her if she is still continue to hang out with her guy “friends” after marriage?
    If she can respect his parents ? Most of the girls think her parents are the best and they find his parents sub par
    Can she manage household with his income?? What kind of sacrifice she is willing to make due to financial restrictions?

    • @050138
      @050138 ปีที่แล้ว

      Nice 👍

  • @1004PoojaMishra
    @1004PoojaMishra ปีที่แล้ว +3

    What if the person doesn't answer any questions clearly and not open about his family and everytime you bring these questions, he somehow manipulates and change the subject. And you end up with nothing. And adding to this your parents can't find any wrong in this situation and you feel suffocated

    • @NishantGarg-r2m
      @NishantGarg-r2m ปีที่แล้ว

      Don't go ahead with this wedding

    • @050138
      @050138 ปีที่แล้ว

      Major red flag....
      A guy/girl who gives answers you don't like or agree is better than someone who never gives clear answers

  • @renukaramachandran4471
    @renukaramachandran4471 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Hii sir, my husband continues to talk to his ex-girlfriend in the name of friendship... Is it ok to leave this as such or should I interfere in matter... I'm just worried please reply 😥

    • @abinayajayalakshmi
      @abinayajayalakshmi ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Will your husband be okay of u talk to ur ex?

    • @harshal8956
      @harshal8956 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      You should start talking to ur ex, if your husband objects show him his hypocrisy

    • @Terahydron
      @Terahydron 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Eww

  • @saffroned3699
    @saffroned3699 ปีที่แล้ว

    Great! Very practical u
    Qusstions. Are there apps to look out for serious relationships apart from the usual matrimonial sites? Or bumble tinder etc.

  • @vms_indian_with_adhd
    @vms_indian_with_adhd ปีที่แล้ว

    How to handle parents disagreements in choosing partner and marriages ceremonies?

  • @abhiam18
    @abhiam18 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    This is perfect I absolutely agree on this.
    Can you please suggest 10 golden tips to survive in married bullshit where there is no way out due to kids.

    • @mrnobody4869
      @mrnobody4869 ปีที่แล้ว

      Do what you think is right.

  • @rahulyadav6165
    @rahulyadav6165 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Wow❤❤❤❤

  • @ashutoshdash6350
    @ashutoshdash6350 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    If she drink and smoke. And want her to quit smoking but she doesn’t want to. What should I do?

    • @vancedshitt6177
      @vancedshitt6177 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Don't marry her, simple.

  • @juhichaudhary3657
    @juhichaudhary3657 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Also I think finances..

  • @urvashimishra3837
    @urvashimishra3837 ปีที่แล้ว

    Great content !! ❤

  • @anjalichawla623
    @anjalichawla623 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    If we r going to do arrange marriage then we can't take enough time to know each other n what will we have to do in it ?

    • @Terahydron
      @Terahydron 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Don't Marry

  • @sachinkumar-cq9ui
    @sachinkumar-cq9ui 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    caution ; script written by some 20yo self entitled person,sitting in a lonely room with internet.

  • @MangalVivahWithMaheshPathre
    @MangalVivahWithMaheshPathre 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Good information
    Questions To Ask Before Arranged Marriage|First Meeting Questions|पहिल्या भेटीमध्ये विचारणारे प्रश्न
    th-cam.com/video/vRwstFsyeIA/w-d-xo.html

  • @focus1007
    @focus1007 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    What to do in an arrange marriage setup..? parents dont give that much time to meet or understand each other😑

    • @mohdfarzankhan991
      @mohdfarzankhan991 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Dont do this type of marriage

    • @focus1007
      @focus1007 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@mohdfarzankhan991unfortunately, don't have any option

    • @mohdfarzankhan991
      @mohdfarzankhan991 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@focus1007 hogyi kya apki shadi yh nhi

    • @mohdfarzankhan991
      @mohdfarzankhan991 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@focus1007 single rho mast rho marriage is trap for men in todays era

    • @Terahydron
      @Terahydron 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Don't Marry

  • @perfectlyfantastic
    @perfectlyfantastic ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I like his questions
    The thing i hate (strong word regret but was necessary here )
    is why do you put your assumption that your way of seeing the relationship is only way or ideal way
    Instead using word "common response" would have worked
    We understand u come from nuclear family
    But there might be someone from connected families and joint
    And there is a lot of beauty into those

  • @ShahnazIslam-t3h
    @ShahnazIslam-t3h 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    When you ask question, there is chance to get just sugar coated answer

  • @mindittherapy
    @mindittherapy 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Hi, I just happened to come across this video on YT. Some points are very relevant . However, being a psychologist and therapist myself, I have few thoughts - 1) The suggestions ofcourse are very surface level as its YT video. 2) I think the advice provided on some points is very reductionist in nature ex- parents , hours spent, transperancy etc . Unfortunately in reality couple relationships do not work like that . Plus "How" you ask questions or be curious is very important when dating a potential partner. 3) Equality is never 50-50 all the time, it changes depending situations and challenges which life throws 4) If this video is for Indian or SE Asian audiences, then sorry it just does not take into account that we live in a collectivists society and there is no shame in that . Dynamics are different there. There will be time one needs to priorities ones own parents ( health issue, finances, family struggle what ever) . Each needs to know how to balance partner- parent relationship.

  • @shoul8496
    @shoul8496 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Human are capable of lying so only actions can show true self of others.

  • @Sohammandaware
    @Sohammandaware ปีที่แล้ว

    Please make video in Hindi and (or) Marathi ,

  • @simplegirl9504
    @simplegirl9504 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Unfortunately! Seeing this after my divorce! Which happened just after few days of marrying a mamas boy!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭

    • @Terahydron
      @Terahydron 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      You didn't inquire everything before hand?

    • @simplegirl9504
      @simplegirl9504 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@Terahydron we enquired proper way! Everyone told he is very well behaved and good with everyone. 😣
      Yeah he was good with others, but worse with his own wife 😖

    • @Terahydron
      @Terahydron 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@simplegirl9504 he did what exactly.if you are comfortable to share

    • @simpleshenggay9056
      @simpleshenggay9056 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Sad😢

    • @Terahydron
      @Terahydron 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@simplegirl9504 are you Indian?

  • @eshikajoshi5843
    @eshikajoshi5843 ปีที่แล้ว

    All the questions to ask are so on point but I kind of do not agree with the expectation that if someone tells me a secret, then I should also share that secret with my husband!
    This isn't correct, someone trusted me with something private, why should I disclose that to anyone else? Including my husband?

    • @Terahydron
      @Terahydron 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      You should share and he should forget it the very instant.
      Husband and wife are one entity.
      Their relationship comes before anyone else
      Siblings, children, friends anyone.
      That's why everybody gets married so that they have someone to share their secrets with

    • @Terahydron
      @Terahydron 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      When my best friend got married, I stopped sharing my secrets with her.
      It's a given you don't share secrets with opposite gender friend after they are married.
      Men and women can share gender problem (periods,horniness, etc) they don't matter as everyone has them

    • @Terahydron
      @Terahydron 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      A good spouse will never make fun of your friends,relatives etc.
      But spouse must have the highest tier of understanding.
      Means you should be ready to sacrifice your mom dad brother friend everyone for your spouse and your spouse should fight equally hard to keep them.
      That's why it's important to marry the one you Love and they love you back

    • @Terahydron
      @Terahydron 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Because sometimes mother in law can be bad and sometimes wife.
      It's duty of husband to take his stand if wife is right and if wife is wrong then he must leave her or suffer in a bad marriage.
      If you live with the assumption that marriage is temporary and not share everything it's bound to break

  • @annpinheiro2918
    @annpinheiro2918 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    1. I know friend who is a judge ...she and her husband stay in different rooms not bec they dont loveveach other but bec she has to read cases and needs to study cases for the next day in court and he used to get disturb.

  • @pawansingh-su1hy
    @pawansingh-su1hy ปีที่แล้ว

    then dont do marriage, seal deal for marriage and if you want god to marry you then my friend you dont need partner there is flawed in everybody, just check honesty if honest ,then go for it rest fall automatically.

  • @hemac7103
    @hemac7103 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Usually guys lie about their answers

  • @its_resha_aggarwal
    @its_resha_aggarwal 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    What if they are also watching same 😂😂😂 to get idea then?

  • @aashishsethi3614
    @aashishsethi3614 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Questions se bada dukhi hun main

  • @joygladies5438
    @joygladies5438 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Ask him for nuclear family otherwise in law issues will destroy your life trust me especially these over possessive mothers

  • @Nutanpatel-h1h
    @Nutanpatel-h1h หลายเดือนก่อน

    Warning Signs of an Abusive Personality and Future 498A girl/family
    . Hypersensitive: Is easily insulted; claims that her feelings are hurt when she is really
    mad. She'll rant about how unjust people are to her even if they are quite fair.

  • @sreelekshmy8951
    @sreelekshmy8951 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    If i watch this video 2 years ago i don't enter into this marriage.

  • @Janedoe-q4i
    @Janedoe-q4i 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Her kisi ko sab free mei chaiye, thoda paida kharch karo, private investigator heir karo, sab khod khod k le aayega wo.
    Or yeh jo gup kar raha hai na, koi matlab nai hai in bato ka.
    Dono bada k jhoot bolenge suru mei.
    Itna 'conversation' iske maa-baap ne kiya hota toh yeh paida bhi nai hota😂
    Inka intention aapki help karna bai bas apna course bechna hai.
    Ot khud yeh baccha hai kya life counselling karega aapki.

  • @BBkitrades
    @BBkitrades ปีที่แล้ว

    Gyaandu

  • @Ravikumar-zi8qm
    @Ravikumar-zi8qm 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Simp spotted...how clever this dog neglected men role like men must earn etc