I actually feel a sense of relief when you say "he will just ghost you after that" because I've always felt it was either difficult or dangerous to get rid of men. But this is a reminder that they're cowards who get scared the moment you tell them you see right through them without actually telling them
I'd love to know what it's like to be ghosted. It's like the trash took itself out. But my experience has been that they don't leave you the eff alone and stalk you. I really hope I age out of attracting that kind of guy soon.
i dont do that cuz thats wrong as hell. but i do watch out for guys that always have a "crazy b*" story. i don't trust those kinds of men cuz there's no way all of your exes cheated on you, all your exes were terrible, all your exes were crazy. here's one. a guy who wanted to make himself seem like a hero was telling me how he was closely tied to celebrities (he actually was) and that he didn't support the patriarchy, and that he involved in curating acts for a benefit concert (he actually was) but tried to slide it in there about how he took care of all his exes and he was in a place in his life where he really just needed to start to take care of himself. threw out pictures of his kid early on and was sexual early on. nope. this is kinda like the reverse of the crazy ex guy but they're still similar cuz these are guys who wanna make it seem like they are just such a poor victim in life and they are looking for that friendly, maybe naive, girl who is gonna buy their bs. that guy is definitely an abuser. very early on he became unnecessarily angry and even pulled stuff like "i thought you were gonna reassure me" just gotta be careful out there. oh and btw this guy talked about self improvement and spirituality and tried to make himself seem like the perfect match for me cuz guess what? i was into those things too. looking back, he was probably a narcissist lol
I think that all men are taught abuse/control tactics. What makes the good ones different is that they don't take pleasure in your pain and so there's no reward in it
@@jsChelimo their not taught no, they choose to do it all by themselves. Also even if they were taught to do it is not an excuse AT ALL. I was taught to be a good little slave yet I am not, men do what they want, just like women.
It’s not just a sign to stay away, it’s a sign he’s probably an abuser who prefers his crimes to never be called out. They benefit from the discrediting of women’s stories.
How to vet the men in your life: #1 - be psychic #2 - wait 5/10/20 years and see what they do. That's basically it. Some men play the long con and could give Meryl Streep acting tips. I don't bother anymore because there's literally nothing to go by. If you get into a relationship, you're willing to take the risk and see how it plays out.
Right? I've had a 6 yr and 9 yr relationship, both ended not for huge red flags but in a large part because the effort they put in was so low compared to the beginning stages, which had a long honeymoon period. I don't have a decade to dedicate to every guy to see if they really will be who they portray to be. You know at work they'd be fired if they slacked off, why are relationships different. "When someone shows you who they are, believe them."
Actually, there are very obvious red flags that can be spotted all the time..women do gaslight themselves into overseeing these red flags because we've been indoctrinated with romance and to always see the positive in everyone, make excuses for everyone. If you go into a relationship knowing that men don't have good intentions, then you'll see it all. It will be less sexy and romantic. But it'll be the truth, and then you can decide whether to stay or not. The advice is exactly the opposite of what you said - do not wait 5/10/20 years, that's wasting your life and giving men a pass to use you. Within the first year, you will always know for sure what the man is like. This video gives you all the tips you need.
I'm a man. Don't wait. You women can do everything you want. Have weapons for protection and leave at the smallest sign of his lazy comfort behavior. If he pronounces a word wrong, FUCKING LEAVE. And make sure you're armed. Remember thee only thing a man wants is women. Everything else is a lie
@@meli7315i love that❤️‼️ saw women struggle my entire life. Mother sister friends aunties cousins. A teenage boy touched me at 8years old than i had like a phobia with men till my teenage years. My dating era (10years) was horrible. At 20 years i got SA. (Grape) i was asleep and woke up to the “act”. I froze and cried. Never ever gave an Okay for that, in fact we went to sleep after argument I realized he did that to let his anger on me. Cause I wouldn’t talk to him and just went to sleep. Since than experienced a lot of inappropriate behavior and being an object for men. (I’m falling in the “attractive” category) So for 2024 I quit dating. Last dude was just hating on women I didn’t realized it at the time. For him women were like “can i fvck her or not” type of situation. Thank god tiktok taught me soooo much with the knowledge from today I realized i was conditioned to tread men like babys. Like i had to do everything for him to be pleased. And put my needs below. I realized how many men truly hate women and dont see us as human. It scares me to death to think about kids. Not cause i hate men whatsoever but because i see statistics, studies and experiences. Like i said my entire childhood and to this day. I could tell soooo fvcking many stories its insane. I’m “only” 25 but glad that I opened my eyes and listen to the women. They truly safed me. I dont even talk to men if its not necessary let alone teach them patriarchy. My advice is: never tell men how someone treated you in the past.” They will use it against you. Doesn’t care in what scenarios. And: men know exactly what they are doing and saying.” Women think mens brain is complex or whatsoever. Its NOT. They dont think like women. Realizing this was truly the hardest. And: a man would never.” If he does something good for you always think like a man “oh he does that bc i’m so great”. And never take him back. Cause they would NEVERRE take you back after you had another D in you. They cant handle someone “used” their women. They always see you as something “used”. And this counts for everything and every red flag. You shouldn’t put work into a man cause you invest so much and the chances are waaay bigger that he is going to give the benefits to another women. And: most men want a women for labor ans comfy life. ALWAYS WATCH HIS ACTIONS AND LET HIM TALK. Don’t over talk him cause if you always the fun one and its so great, most of the time you romanticize a relationship but its only you making the relationship great. Trust me. Listen fvcking careful and let him talk. Sorry for the long message. Find your peace and the good will come to you❤️
It happens every generation. In my late teens and 20’s in the UK we were sold “ladette” culture - women drinking, partying, sleeping around etc as much as men allegedly did as a sign of our independence and empowerment. Thankfully I’m a complete lightweight who needs at least 8 hours of sleep and so never made it onto the bandwagon 😅
Thanks for this goldmine of information. 🖤💜💙💚💙💜🖤 I was SO naive up until i started discovering these conversations on youtube. I would be taking "women and men are equal" to mean, "men are also well-intentioned, but just messing up" Only to find out, " no, they are often trying to get away with everything they can and be as dishonest as my ignorance and "benefit of the doubt" allows 🖤💜💙💚💙💜🖤 Benefit is one of those toxic things My religious family taught me And I still feel compelled to it Although I recognize it was mostly used to refer to men's actions. 🖤💜💙💚💙💜🖤 I am so tired. West 4B all day long Great video comp!! Thx for hosting these convos, I never had people in my life share this stuff they were all indoctrinated💚 🖤💜💙💚💙💜🖤 Much Love !!!
Another one I discovered: men who listen well, ask interested, deep probing questions, but won't tell deep probing facts about themselves. I discovered that being deeply listened to triggers limerence (aka a crush or infatuation - a deep sense of love with no real meaning.) And it's the limerence that is the dangerous part, because it will blind you. Once you think you're in "love at first sight", that's when the facts you revealed will be used against you to destroy you.
yeah narcissists do this so they can figure you out. and also because silence can be used as a weapon. it's at the point where you start thinking like "is this person even listening???" and start to become frustrated is when they got you. because now you're craving validation from them and that's probably what is at the base of the limerence
To be fair, men say the exact same thing about women. They say they can't confide in them as this may well be used against them later. Sadly, this could well be a human characteristic amongst some people, both men and women. I do think being a good listener is important. Many are not great listeners and being one is a good sign as long as the respond with sufficient understanding. I genuinely enjoy listening to women when I'm with them. I don't find it hard to do, or help when I can. One thing that does catch men out is when women want to vent. Men like to help and fix things and I know I tend to want to do this but it's not always wanted.
"i have sisters" was another excuse for being exempt. except he called his middle sister "crazy," his younger sister "a BIG girl" (aka fat-shaming). among other signs.
Ooooh finally a great explanation about the not going 50/50. I was hearing about it a lot but never with the context and reasoning behind so it always a bit icky to me since i was raised in a culture were 50/50 was seen as progressive and empowering for women . I finally understand!!! Thank you!!!!!
I like the idea of not doing anything extra to your appearance than he does to his and see how he reacts. No shaving legs or private area or armpits, no makeup, no uncomfortable shoes or clothes, spend the same amount of time washing and styling your hair as he does. Wear old underwear with stains and holes. Sit like a dude, talk only about yourself and expect him to be super interested. Be loud and have needs and opinions. Watch how fast he says he doesn't like it. I did some of this (the no makeup, the no shaving and the messy hair) with my ex before we went to an even to see his family and I wore baggy pants and a t-shirt just like he did. He argued with me on the way there and on the way home that I embarrassed him. And I still "performed femininity" by helping the women clean up and making sure that our baby's bag was packed and all of that.
You are doing the Lord’s work girl. You really are serving such a huge purpose and I love that you are actually happily married. You are so intelligent and I’m assuming some neurodivergence
I would suggest to be careful even with men watching these contents and agreeing. They can watch, agree and still do the same behind your back or even worse.
This is very interesting. As a straight guy, do you have any suggestions on how to handle this understandable feeling of caution from women I meet and go out with? I want to be respectful and understanding without doing this awkward dance of ‘proving myself as one of the good ones’ (which feels inherently performative)?
You should also point out that more men will fail these tests than pass them. It doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong or your standards are too high if man after man fails the vetting process. It’s ok and you have to be ok with being single/alone rather than being with a man who will bring you down and harm you, just to say that you have a man.
Wonderful video! I’ve always felt anything a man said was honey to draw me in, I’m so glad there’s vocabulary and words to describe what my intuition was feeling when I was dating and in just a couple of relationships. I’ve always thought marriage was a trap for women and when men said it, I had question marks floating around my head. Now we have it succinctly listed all the labor women do once they are on relationships which demonstrates how exploitative it really is… But please if you are planning on marriage or even moving in have a protective legal document, see a lawyer who can write in a way where you aren’t screwed over. I’ve heard of too many stories where it devastated mostly women, some men too. If he has a problem with it, you have your answer
My dad does the "women are better than men," thing, and, as a kid, it used to have me fooled. Now I realize he says it to try to deflect any heat he would take for letting Mom do EVERYTHING in the house and taking care of me--while both of them worked full time. Sometimes I want to scream at that man....
You are describing my brothers with the red flags right now, and it's making me so very sad. But thanks for the content. Sometimes I can't put into words why certain family members just give me a weird ick, and this is reason #488.
I left a nanny job this past May and the dad was a piece of work. When I was waking their boxer, she got out from her collar and attacked another dog that was walking w/ it's owner. I was wearing heels, almost fell multiple times, I was SHAKING and felt horrible for all involved. When I got home, I called this "man" and you know what the first thing out if his mouth was? Not "are you OK??" "Was anyone hurt??"....NOPE. He *said,* "Who won?" 😳 🤯 Also, when his wife's mother was really sick and on her death bed, he called me, complained about her not doing well and then said "I think her mom is close to *kicking the bucket."* WTF?!?!?? There are so many other stories..... His oldest daughter told me once that he ACTUALLY said to her, "I would never rape you." Ummmmm, sir? Men who wouldn't do that to their child wouldn't ever HAVE TO SAY IT out loud. The guy was a narcissistic creep, used me as his therapist and I'm so glad I'm not working for them anymore. I loved his wife and children but....damn. So much unneeded anxiety. Now I know better. Instead of being so desperate to keep a job, I will have boundaries or else move on. ❤
I have a question. Why do men randomly mention rape? For example, when talking about countries you've been invited to live/work in, "isn't that country have a lot of assault on women?" Or when sharing reflections on your life, "well, you could have been raped," just randomly.
lol my last toxic ex literally once said (in tryna defend his compulsive behavior of watching porn n masturbating several times a day) “at least i dont go around raping women? is that what u want?”
I had to learn these signs the hard way, these are really good tips. Back when I was still shy to properly state my boundaries, one way I would get rid of men who irked me was to act really weird. I'd use whatever behavior I could use to make the interaction feel awkward until they would eventually just leave me alone. Acting bizarre can be very useful to repulse people, but use with caution.
If women hear half of what men talks about when they get together ! Without their wives these women will be appalled! I bow in the deepest corner of my heart to never give my heart to any man! Not even my secret! They don’t deserve it! My pickmeisha mom said oh maybe you don’t pray enough! Thats why you don’t trust man when i tell her dont trust the man she is currently living with at 55 she still chooses to live a life for a man that she needs to cook, and serve like what the hell??? Now I know better! You can’t trust your life to anyone but God alone! Stay safe and hug your children! You don’t need to live in fear , pain and service! Ladies choose to be free! Be ruthless when it comes to men! This is your life! You’re children’s life ! Save your heart for you!
You are wonderful! I wish I had someone like you in my personal life. That person would be my best friend, and I would never let them go. I'm so tired of being made to feel like there's something wrong with me for being the only one who understands how deeply rooted this is in our society. ❤❤❤ where can I find more people like you?
The best compliment I've ever received came from a guy friend. He asked me first if he could give me a compliment, which...WOW. He asked to make sure I wouldn't be uncomfortable. And then he told me I was magnetic, and just light up rooms when I walk into them.
Be careful that magnetism doesn’t get you killed. I watch too much true crime and the only time I’ve ever heard a person described that way it was after they’d passed away tragically ☹️
53:05 my (ex) bf accused me of “ghosting him for a week,” because I ignored the whole 2 low effort texts he sent over about 4 days. So I explained why I ignored his messages because I felt like he really didn’t want to talk to me, he just didn’t want ME to ignore him… So he ignored that for about 15 minutes and then said that he felt terrible every day (because he was ill but he never wanted to talk about that until I had an issue with his behavior) and he was going back to bed…
But some of us people grew up in a toxic family where we were abused and part of our healing journey is to get away from those people so we can heal. Not all people who have an abusive past are toxic because they speak poorly about family. It might actually be legitimate.
Omg the more i listen to this video the more i realize my ex was abusive and a tad narc?? I swore to the heavens he was the best man i ever met but he is seriously checking all the boxes of an a$$hole/narc 😳
These compilations are like online college lectures about life for young women. _Is everybody ready for class?? Get your laptops out and take some notes, ladies!_ 😊
btw butterflies in your stomach is not a good sign. that's your nervous system telling you something is wrong. a good person will feel calm, no butterflies.
i fell for this as a 19 year old girl but currently seeing somebody healthy so far. receptive to feedback and adjusted behavior. i keep watching these videos just to stay on track with myself lol seems like good news but i have to keep my instincts sharp!!
I have to applaud your answer at 55:40. I've been waiting for over a decade for feminists to finally address the issue of moving in with a man. That is playing wife and it's draining you just as much as being married, except you're at increased risk of having wasted your time and invisible labour for nothing. Even the men say it themselves - why propose if I'm getting everything a married man would.
Thank you, please continue posting your compilations! I am unable to watch your TikTok’s because they’re too fast with my neurological issues but here I can slow down and listen. Thank you again and keep up great work! ❤
Thank you thank you a lot!!! I don’t want to be social media addicted but I miss your content and those like yours, i would die for even a monthly or weekly TikTok compilation where you just repost all your TikTok’s. But you are clearly more - selecting TikTok’s off a theme and you even had an intro for us TH-cam watchers!! ❤ thank you so much again, I hope you do more of these themed compilations
My favorite male friend is extremely generous with their time and respectful of women despite being absolutely barraged by them lol (he is quite a looker). It actually took some time for us to be friends because when we met i was pretty stingy with my resources and that turned him off. Only time we ever got to be close is actually when i heard that his family member died and i asked him about it after class. Apparently i was the only one who ever asked in our classroom. And ever since then he has rewarded my empathy with generosity tenfold. We really enjoy giving each other our time and helping each other access to connections, money, etc. Our friendship is solid because hes not my type and im not his lmao. But despite our relationship being purely platonic he still treats me like a gentleman and honestly he raised my standards for men 😭😭 Really grateful for that guy. Hope we can maintain our strong friendship outside college.
That's so lovely. I'm kinda hoping you both get it together at some point in the future 😍. He sounds wonderful, enjoy it. You showed character asking after his wellbeing after the bereavement. He knows you're a good friend.
@ I loved reading such a warm response with focused empathy, you noticed all the details. This is sweet, thank you 💗😭 Regarding getting together, i personally value our friendship staying platonic, since he has a history of female friends developing feelings for him and i think a connection where he doesnt have to worry about that would be important in his life. Overall my favorite part about our bond, is that he's of the rare individuals i don't have to be wary giving to because of his strong sense of reciprocity. I can sense we're both trying to constantly maintain a 60-40 relationship where we're both the 60, the one slightly giving more. I am blessed to have good male relationships in my life truly and as you say, i hope i maintain showing character when it counts for these people in my life. 🙏💗
@@eline7214 Thanks for your kind response. Bless you and your relationship with him. Lovely to hear women and men getting along as good friends ❤️. I have to admit, I'm envious 😃
@@eline7214 Thanks for your kind response. Bless you and your relationship with him. Lovely to hear women and men getting along as good friends ❤️. I have to admit, I'm envious 😃
@@eline7214 Thanks for your kind response. Bless you and your relationship with him. Lovely to hear women and men getting along as good friends ❤️. I have to admit, I'm envious 😃
Honestly these red flags aren't even weird theyre normal especially the man who always thinks they need to be the contarion whenever its a woen or about womens issue
Girl i wish i knew these things years ago. I probably wouldve just foregone dating altogether. Now i just have a bunch of bad memories and proof of wasted time and energy. Its horrible but thank God i had the three miscarriages i had. I cant imagine carrying on their dna in my line or trying to raise a child with a father who abused me the way they had. I guess this is my life to break the cycle. Stay vigilant ladies. Sometimes your life depends on it.
I love your videos and appreciate all your advice, thanks for making content like this. I wish I had this knowledge in my 20s. And girlll I’m gonna buy you some face makeup brushes. The patience you have to use your fingers is unreal 😝
Part of the bedroom thing is that men love to cuddle. Most women don't and view it as a waste of time. They'll complain of being bored and leave. Men's only want is women
this reminds me of when I went to go see bottoms and theaters. and although there weren’t a lot of laughs during the movie, all the men bust out laughing when Marshawn Lynch said “women aren’t good people”. because the girls had lied and weren’t perfect friends to each other. after this entire feminist movie talking about our experiences and about wanting to feel safe; all the men could take from it was ha ha women suck and they annoy me. “hold women accountable!” lol. in 2023 people… smh. 🤦🏾♀️
Omg reminds me of this guy I very briefly dated. I said something about how it was scary to live alone as a woman and guys don't really have to worry about getting r@ped in their sleep. Completely understandable and not even controversial...so I thought. He proceeded to find like the ONE news article ever of a time a women broke into a man's apartment and sexually assaulted him to, I guess, prove some kind of point?? I never spoke to that ahole again. I'm scared for any woman who would end up with him.
How would you respond when someone asks what does a woman bring to the table? Do you not waste your time responding because they're already skeptical of a womans value?
@@Innateworth yes, exactly. they already failed w that question! There’s a lot to discuss there thought, looks like I’ll be uploading my 50/50 Tik Tok playlist next for yall!
I’d not see them again but I’d definitely tell them what a woman brings to the table-manifestelle has some good videos about how even being seen with a woman increases a man’s value
He failed by asking the question. You want to audition for him, start rattling off your best qualities, etc? The question automatically puts you in a subservient position beneath him. Don't engage because if you do, you'll spend the whole relationship trying to "measure up" to prove to his basic ass that you're worthy of him. You don't need his validation.
I dont know, i dont want any man who previously treated someone badly because she "was not his prize"( I dont think its a decent human, who treat me good only because im good for him(
PSA - if you like normal speed try setting the playback speed to .75 after the intro ❤😊
Thank you. This is so helpful. ✨️🦋
It's showing unavailable for me. It's available for other videos though.
I’m so glad I’m 4B now. These men can fake relationships for years and still get away with it. It’s exhausting being around them. Anyway y’all be safe
I actually feel a sense of relief when you say "he will just ghost you after that" because I've always felt it was either difficult or dangerous to get rid of men. But this is a reminder that they're cowards who get scared the moment you tell them you see right through them without actually telling them
Being ghosted is the ultimate compliment. It means you won!
I'd love to know what it's like to be ghosted. It's like the trash took itself out. But my experience has been that they don't leave you the eff alone and stalk you. I really hope I age out of attracting that kind of guy soon.
@@shawshank1315 age only gets rid of some, sadly
Usually not scared, they just lost interest in you because you won't be an easy victim
Anytime a guy says "my ex was crazy? I ask them, what did you do to make them that crazy? 🤭💀
Yes! Cuz, we know what they're about! 😂🤣😂
Truth, the only reason a woman does something crazy, is because a man drove her to do so.
i dont do that cuz thats wrong as hell. but i do watch out for guys that always have a "crazy b*" story. i don't trust those kinds of men cuz there's no way all of your exes cheated on you, all your exes were terrible, all your exes were crazy. here's one. a guy who wanted to make himself seem like a hero was telling me how he was closely tied to celebrities (he actually was) and that he didn't support the patriarchy, and that he involved in curating acts for a benefit concert (he actually was) but tried to slide it in there about how he took care of all his exes and he was in a place in his life where he really just needed to start to take care of himself. threw out pictures of his kid early on and was sexual early on. nope. this is kinda like the reverse of the crazy ex guy but they're still similar cuz these are guys who wanna make it seem like they are just such a poor victim in life and they are looking for that friendly, maybe naive, girl who is gonna buy their bs. that guy is definitely an abuser. very early on he became unnecessarily angry and even pulled stuff like "i thought you were gonna reassure me"
just gotta be careful out there. oh and btw this guy talked about self improvement and spirituality and tried to make himself seem like the perfect match for me cuz guess what? i was into those things too.
looking back, he was probably a narcissist lol
What are some replies that you’ve gotten?
Yes the man turns a women crazy by being a liar.😊
all the men I've ever interacted with has displayed at least several of these red flags...staying single is the best decision I've ever made
I think that all men are taught abuse/control tactics. What makes the good ones different is that they don't take pleasure in your pain and so there's no reward in it
@@jsChelimo their not taught no, they choose to do it all by themselves. Also even if they were taught to do it is not an excuse AT ALL. I was taught to be a good little slave yet I am not, men do what they want, just like women.
It’s not just a sign to stay away, it’s a sign he’s probably an abuser who prefers his crimes to never be called out. They benefit from the discrediting of women’s stories.
How to vet the men in your life: #1 - be psychic #2 - wait 5/10/20 years and see what they do. That's basically it. Some men play the long con and could give Meryl Streep acting tips. I don't bother anymore because there's literally nothing to go by. If you get into a relationship, you're willing to take the risk and see how it plays out.
Right? I've had a 6 yr and 9 yr relationship, both ended not for huge red flags but in a large part because the effort they put in was so low compared to the beginning stages, which had a long honeymoon period. I don't have a decade to dedicate to every guy to see if they really will be who they portray to be. You know at work they'd be fired if they slacked off, why are relationships different. "When someone shows you who they are, believe them."
Actually, there are very obvious red flags that can be spotted all the time..women do gaslight themselves into overseeing these red flags because we've been indoctrinated with romance and to always see the positive in everyone, make excuses for everyone. If you go into a relationship knowing that men don't have good intentions, then you'll see it all. It will be less sexy and romantic. But it'll be the truth, and then you can decide whether to stay or not. The advice is exactly the opposite of what you said - do not wait 5/10/20 years, that's wasting your life and giving men a pass to use you. Within the first year, you will always know for sure what the man is like. This video gives you all the tips you need.
I'm a man. Don't wait. You women can do everything you want. Have weapons for protection and leave at the smallest sign of his lazy comfort behavior. If he pronounces a word wrong, FUCKING LEAVE. And make sure you're armed. Remember thee only thing a man wants is women. Everything else is a lie
@@strwbryblondi07 normalize breaking up with a man after the honeymoon stage.
You’re so brilliant. We need more women to be as conscious and forward-thinking as you.
She's the wisest of sages!
seemingly decent, with insidious intent, is a perfect way to describe them.
I genuinely get so excited when you post cus I KNOW you're gonna deliver in the most eloquent way as usual!
thank you!!! 🙏💗 I’m unbelievably happy and humbled to hear that. Appreciate you so much!!!
TikTok is banned here, I appreciate your effort and knowledge. Looking forward for more of this ❤
where is it banned, may i ask?
@@enyavissepo India
A man saying "I'm a feminist" is = to a man saying "I'm a nice guy" or "I'm really trustworthy."
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
RUN.
Yep I don’t need to hear it from your mouth-let me see it in your actions
At this point, it's just easier to not date at all. Glad I've been single and celibate for close to a decade now.
Its just easier and safer. Why risk it??
I had decided the same and feel good about and with myself and out my health first.
@@meli7315i love that❤️‼️ saw women struggle my entire life. Mother sister friends aunties cousins. A teenage boy touched me at 8years old than i had like a phobia with men till my teenage years. My dating era (10years) was horrible. At 20 years i got SA. (Grape) i was asleep and woke up to the “act”. I froze and cried. Never ever gave an Okay for that, in fact we went to sleep after argument I realized he did that to let his anger on me. Cause I wouldn’t talk to him and just went to sleep. Since than experienced a lot of inappropriate behavior and being an object for men. (I’m falling in the “attractive” category)
So for 2024 I quit dating. Last dude was just hating on women I didn’t realized it at the time. For him women were like “can i fvck her or not” type of situation.
Thank god tiktok taught me soooo much with the knowledge from today I realized i was conditioned to tread men like babys. Like i had to do everything for him to be pleased. And put my needs below. I realized how many men truly hate women and dont see us as human.
It scares me to death to think about kids. Not cause i hate men whatsoever but because i see statistics, studies and experiences. Like i said my entire childhood and to this day.
I could tell soooo fvcking many stories its insane.
I’m “only” 25 but glad that I opened my eyes and listen to the women. They truly safed me. I dont even talk to men if its not necessary let alone teach them patriarchy.
My advice is: never tell men how someone treated you in the past.” They will use it against you. Doesn’t care in what scenarios.
And: men know exactly what they are doing and saying.” Women think mens brain is complex or whatsoever. Its NOT. They dont think like women. Realizing this was truly the hardest.
And: a man would never.” If he does something good for you always think like a man “oh he does that bc i’m so great”.
And never take him back. Cause they would NEVERRE take you back after you had another D in you. They cant handle someone “used” their women. They always see you as something “used”.
And this counts for everything and every red flag.
You shouldn’t put work into a man cause you invest so much and the chances are waaay bigger that he is going to give the benefits to another women.
And: most men want a women for labor ans comfy life.
ALWAYS WATCH HIS ACTIONS AND LET HIM TALK. Don’t over talk him cause if you always the fun one and its so great, most of the time you romanticize a relationship but its only you making the relationship great. Trust me. Listen fvcking careful and let him talk.
Sorry for the long message. Find your peace and the good will come to you❤️
uggghhhh the sex work/porn as activism era was dark as HELL!!!!
Yeah and hookup culture. That is not good for women idc what anyone says
It's 100% a male invented psyop to subjugate women. What's so sad (& infuriating) is that so many bought into it
So glad that era is behind us
It happens every generation. In my late teens and 20’s in the UK we were sold “ladette” culture - women drinking, partying, sleeping around etc as much as men allegedly did as a sign of our independence and empowerment. Thankfully I’m a complete lightweight who needs at least 8 hours of sleep and so never made it onto the bandwagon 😅
We need to discuss this way way way more so history does not keep repeating itself.
@@TMeyer-ge5pjPorn/scx work/hook ups are all terrible for women.
Thanks for this goldmine of information.
🖤💜💙💚💙💜🖤
I was SO naive up until i started discovering these conversations on youtube. I would be taking "women and men are equal" to mean, "men are also well-intentioned, but just messing up"
Only to find out,
" no, they are often trying to get away with everything they can and be as dishonest as my ignorance and "benefit of the doubt" allows
🖤💜💙💚💙💜🖤
Benefit is one of those toxic things
My religious family taught me
And I still feel compelled to it
Although I recognize it was mostly used to refer to men's actions.
🖤💜💙💚💙💜🖤
I am so tired.
West 4B all day long
Great video comp!!
Thx for hosting these convos, I never had people in my life share this stuff
they were all indoctrinated💚
🖤💜💙💚💙💜🖤
Much Love !!!
Same!
Another one I discovered: men who listen well, ask interested, deep probing questions, but won't tell deep probing facts about themselves.
I discovered that being deeply listened to triggers limerence (aka a crush or infatuation - a deep sense of love with no real meaning.)
And it's the limerence that is the dangerous part, because it will blind you.
Once you think you're in "love at first sight", that's when the facts you revealed will be used against you to destroy you.
I read the first part and was about to write the rest of what you wrote 😂❤
yeah narcissists do this so they can figure you out. and also because silence can be used as a weapon. it's at the point where you start thinking like "is this person even listening???" and start to become frustrated is when they got you. because now you're craving validation from them and that's probably what is at the base of the limerence
NAILED IT
💯. They pretend to be empathetic but they're really gathering ammunition
To be fair, men say the exact same thing about women. They say they can't confide in them as this may well be used against them later.
Sadly, this could well be a human characteristic amongst some people, both men and women.
I do think being a good listener is important. Many are not great listeners and being one is a good sign as long as the respond with sufficient understanding.
I genuinely enjoy listening to women when I'm with them. I don't find it hard to do, or help when I can.
One thing that does catch men out is when women want to vent. Men like to help and fix things and I know I tend to want to do this but it's not always wanted.
You’re so wise for your age.
"i have sisters" was another excuse for being exempt. except he called his middle sister "crazy," his younger sister "a BIG girl" (aka fat-shaming). among other signs.
This is such a different approach to how people speak about bagging a healthy relationship -
Ooooh finally a great explanation about the not going 50/50. I was hearing about it a lot but never with the context and reasoning behind so it always a bit icky to me since i was raised in a culture were 50/50 was seen as progressive and empowering for women .
I finally understand!!! Thank you!!!!!
I like the idea of not doing anything extra to your appearance than he does to his and see how he reacts. No shaving legs or private area or armpits, no makeup, no uncomfortable shoes or clothes, spend the same amount of time washing and styling your hair as he does. Wear old underwear with stains and holes. Sit like a dude, talk only about yourself and expect him to be super interested. Be loud and have needs and opinions. Watch how fast he says he doesn't like it.
I did some of this (the no makeup, the no shaving and the messy hair) with my ex before we went to an even to see his family and I wore baggy pants and a t-shirt just like he did. He argued with me on the way there and on the way home that I embarrassed him. And I still "performed femininity" by helping the women clean up and making sure that our baby's bag was packed and all of that.
The best advice was the last video about Vetting a partner. People really forget it’s not all just feelings when dating.
Brainwashed from Disney and romcom… since birth
I really hope this message reaches the new generations of women. Its arill not to late for them.
You are doing the Lord’s work girl. You really are serving such a huge purpose and I love that you are actually happily married. You are so intelligent and I’m assuming some neurodivergence
I’m not assuming any neurodivergence. I’m just assuming some feminist analysis.
You believe in god now? 😂
I'm going to play this on repeat until I can recite these myself. Thank you!
There is no 50/50 ❤
I would suggest to be careful even with men watching these contents and agreeing. They can watch, agree and still do the same behind your back or even worse.
THIS. I keep trying to tell the girlies they study us and psychology.
This is very interesting. As a straight guy, do you have any suggestions on how to handle this understandable feeling of caution from women I meet and go out with? I want to be respectful and understanding without doing this awkward dance of ‘proving myself as one of the good ones’ (which feels inherently performative)?
My feminist male friend was a big 🚩 haha. I think he was just faking it to get women.
Really how long to figure out
@@hbsupreme1499 10.05 seconds 🕒
10.05 seconds 🕒
Duh
Since we (women) are not really desperate for sex...
You should also point out that more men will fail these tests than pass them. It doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong or your standards are too high if man after man fails the vetting process. It’s ok and you have to be ok with being single/alone rather than being with a man who will bring you down and harm you, just to say that you have a man.
READY FOR CLASS PROFESSOR!
3 questions abusers are hoping you won't ask section: "they'll probably ghost you"
or they'll become incredibly angry that you're not buying their bs
My favorite response to the "devil's advocate" thing: why are you advocating for the devil? 🧐
Wonderful video!
I’ve always felt anything a man said was honey to draw me in, I’m so glad there’s vocabulary and words to describe what my intuition was feeling when I was dating and in just a couple of relationships.
I’ve always thought marriage was a trap for women and when men said it, I had question marks floating around my head. Now we have it succinctly listed all the labor women do once they are on relationships which demonstrates how exploitative it really is…
But please if you are planning on marriage or even moving in have a protective legal document, see a lawyer who can write in a way where you aren’t screwed over. I’ve heard of too many stories where it devastated mostly women, some men too. If he has a problem with it, you have your answer
My dad does the "women are better than men," thing, and, as a kid, it used to have me fooled. Now I realize he says it to try to deflect any heat he would take for letting Mom do EVERYTHING in the house and taking care of me--while both of them worked full time. Sometimes I want to scream at that man....
You are describing my brothers with the red flags right now, and it's making me so very sad. But thanks for the content. Sometimes I can't put into words why certain family members just give me a weird ick, and this is reason #488.
I left a nanny job this past May and the dad was a piece of work.
When I was waking their boxer, she got out from her collar and attacked another dog that was walking w/ it's owner. I was wearing heels, almost fell multiple times, I was SHAKING and felt horrible for all involved. When I got home, I called this "man" and you know what the first thing out if his mouth was? Not "are you OK??" "Was anyone hurt??"....NOPE. He *said,* "Who won?"
😳
🤯
Also, when his wife's mother was really sick and on her death bed, he called me, complained about her not doing well and then said "I think her mom is close to *kicking the bucket."*
WTF?!?!??
There are so many other stories.....
His oldest daughter told me once that he ACTUALLY said to her, "I would never rape you."
Ummmmm, sir? Men who wouldn't do that to their child wouldn't ever HAVE TO SAY IT out loud.
The guy was a narcissistic creep, used me as his therapist and I'm so glad I'm not working for them anymore. I loved his wife and children but....damn. So much unneeded anxiety.
Now I know better. Instead of being so desperate to keep a job, I will have boundaries or else move on. ❤
I have a question. Why do men randomly mention rape? For example, when talking about countries you've been invited to live/work in, "isn't that country have a lot of assault on women?" Or when sharing reflections on your life, "well, you could have been raped," just randomly.
Because it's a low bar. Men literally want points for basic decency. So mentioning rape is supposed to scare you and prove that they're different.
To highlight how much you “need them” I guess but also because they think about it a lot…
lol my last toxic ex literally once said (in tryna defend his compulsive behavior of watching porn n masturbating several times a day) “at least i dont go around raping women? is that what u want?”
Sex is violence power. Is using to say „men have the power physically to rape / hit you“ rape and hitting is about power…
To fake interest in women's issues. 'See, I care about women's safety'. It's lazy.
I had to learn these signs the hard way, these are really good tips. Back when I was still shy to properly state my boundaries, one way I would get rid of men who irked me was to act really weird. I'd use whatever behavior I could use to make the interaction feel awkward until they would eventually just leave me alone. Acting bizarre can be very useful to repulse people, but use with caution.
That's a good tip!! 😅
If women hear half of what men talks about when they get together ! Without their wives these women will be appalled! I bow in the deepest corner of my heart to never give my heart to any man! Not even my secret! They don’t deserve it! My pickmeisha mom said oh maybe you don’t pray enough! Thats why you don’t trust man when i tell her dont trust the man she is currently living with at 55 she still chooses to live a life for a man that she needs to cook, and serve like what the hell??? Now I know better! You can’t trust your life to anyone but God alone! Stay safe and hug your children! You don’t need to live in fear , pain and service! Ladies choose to be free! Be ruthless when it comes to men! This is your life! You’re children’s life ! Save your heart for you!
You are wonderful! I wish I had someone like you in my personal life. That person would be my best friend, and I would never let them go. I'm so tired of being made to feel like there's something wrong with me for being the only one who understands how deeply rooted this is in our society. ❤❤❤ where can I find more people like you?
YEESSS so excited for some compilations 😍😍😍
Awesomeness, so happy you are putting these on YT.😊❤
The best compliment I've ever received came from a guy friend. He asked me first if he could give me a compliment, which...WOW. He asked to make sure I wouldn't be uncomfortable. And then he told me I was magnetic, and just light up rooms when I walk into them.
Be careful that magnetism doesn’t get you killed. I watch too much true crime and the only time I’ve ever heard a person described that way it was after they’d passed away tragically ☹️
@Emiliapocalypse like Sultanat in Kazakhstan. Her abuser was a moth to her flame too. But he killed her not the other way around
Green flag
Explicit about what he liked about you but cautious about his approach
Thank you thank you thank you🙏🏽🙏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 you’re a precious Gem❤
you’re so welcome && I appreciate you so much 💗💗💗🙏🙏🙏
53:05 my (ex) bf accused me of “ghosting him for a week,” because I ignored the whole 2 low effort texts he sent over about 4 days.
So I explained why I ignored his messages because I felt like he really didn’t want to talk to me, he just didn’t want ME to ignore him…
So he ignored that for about 15 minutes and then said that he felt terrible every day (because he was ill but he never wanted to talk about that until I had an issue with his behavior) and he was going back to bed…
He's playing red pill games on you.
But some of us people grew up in a toxic family where we were abused and part of our healing journey is to get away from those people so we can heal. Not all people who have an abusive past are toxic because they speak poorly about family. It might actually be legitimate.
Yes! please post more of your tiktoks comps on here they're great!
Thank you for posting these here! I drive long distances daily and love listening to you on here ❤
#4b could never be with a guy who watches porn :( it's categorically bad. Noam Chomsky says so too.
Didn’t realize Noam doesn’t agree with porn. I know the author Chris Hedges is against it as well.
I wake up and look for your content. I love how you think and everything is spot on
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR UPLOADING HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
You are fantastic! 🎉🎉🎉
Your brilliant 👏
Yes, I'm new here and I like what I hear so far! ❤❤❤
Omg the more i listen to this video the more i realize my ex was abusive and a tad narc??
I swore to the heavens he was the best man i ever met but he is seriously checking all the boxes of an a$$hole/narc 😳
YAAAAAAAAS!
THANK YOU FOR THIS!
Thanks for the compilations.
These compilations are like online college lectures about life for young women.
_Is everybody ready for class?? Get your laptops out and take some notes, ladies!_ 😊
btw butterflies in your stomach is not a good sign. that's your nervous system telling you something is wrong. a good person will feel calm, no butterflies.
Unless you suffer from anxiety in general. If I don't know the person well, I always get butterflies. 🤷♀🤷♀
God your the second person who has explained this,and its true,
i fell for this as a 19 year old girl but currently seeing somebody healthy so far. receptive to feedback and adjusted behavior. i keep watching these videos just to stay on track with myself lol seems like good news but i have to keep my instincts sharp!!
Atleast she brought the race up cause that can change thing's
I have to applaud your answer at 55:40. I've been waiting for over a decade for feminists to finally address the issue of moving in with a man. That is playing wife and it's draining you just as much as being married, except you're at increased risk of having wasted your time and invisible labour for nothing. Even the men say it themselves - why propose if I'm getting everything a married man would.
Why do you feel the need to marry is the real question.
Thank you, please continue posting your compilations! I am unable to watch your TikTok’s because they’re too fast with my neurological issues but here I can slow down and listen. Thank you again and keep up great work! ❤
I love this compilation!! And it's important that this is for all relationships with men, not.just romantic ones. I love all your vids ❤❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you thank you a lot!!! I don’t want to be social media addicted but I miss your content and those like yours, i would die for even a monthly or weekly TikTok compilation where you just repost all your TikTok’s. But you are clearly more - selecting TikTok’s off a theme and you even had an intro for us TH-cam watchers!! ❤ thank you so much again, I hope you do more of these themed compilations
Yes the mask tends to fall off between 2 to 6 months.
Nope some can keep it on for far longer. Until they think they have her trapped. Ie kids, finances, marriage. Then they drop their mask
My favorite male friend is extremely generous with their time and respectful of women despite being absolutely barraged by them lol (he is quite a looker).
It actually took some time for us to be friends because when we met i was pretty stingy with my resources and that turned him off.
Only time we ever got to be close is actually when i heard that his family member died and i asked him about it after class.
Apparently i was the only one who ever asked in our classroom. And ever since then he has rewarded my empathy with generosity tenfold. We really enjoy giving each other our time and helping each other access to connections, money, etc.
Our friendship is solid because hes not my type and im not his lmao. But despite our relationship being purely platonic he still treats me like a gentleman and honestly he raised my standards for men 😭😭
Really grateful for that guy. Hope we can maintain our strong friendship outside college.
That's so lovely. I'm kinda hoping you both get it together at some point in the future 😍. He sounds wonderful, enjoy it.
You showed character asking after his wellbeing after the bereavement. He knows you're a good friend.
@ I loved reading such a warm response with focused empathy, you noticed all the details. This is sweet, thank you 💗😭
Regarding getting together, i personally value our friendship staying platonic, since he has a history of female friends developing feelings for him and i think a connection where he doesnt have to worry about that would be important in his life.
Overall my favorite part about our bond, is that he's of the rare individuals i don't have to be wary giving to because of his strong sense of reciprocity. I can sense we're both trying to constantly maintain a 60-40 relationship where we're both the 60, the one slightly giving more.
I am blessed to have good male relationships in my life truly and as you say, i hope i maintain showing character when it counts for these people in my life. 🙏💗
@@eline7214 Thanks for your kind response. Bless you and your relationship with him. Lovely to hear women and men getting along as good friends ❤️. I have to admit, I'm envious 😃
@@eline7214 Thanks for your kind response. Bless you and your relationship with him. Lovely to hear women and men getting along as good friends ❤️. I have to admit, I'm envious 😃
@@eline7214 Thanks for your kind response. Bless you and your relationship with him. Lovely to hear women and men getting along as good friends ❤️. I have to admit, I'm envious 😃
Ahhhh! Thank you for making this incredible content!
Honestly these red flags aren't even weird theyre normal especially the man who always thinks they need to be the contarion whenever its a woen or about womens issue
Sadly
Thanks a lot for this video and for your valuable work! Best wishes😘😘
Girl i wish i knew these things years ago. I probably wouldve just foregone dating altogether. Now i just have a bunch of bad memories and proof of wasted time and energy. Its horrible but thank God i had the three miscarriages i had. I cant imagine carrying on their dna in my line or trying to raise a child with a father who abused me the way they had. I guess this is my life to break the cycle. Stay vigilant ladies. Sometimes your life depends on it.
Im a man and they need to teach this on schools at every grade level cause I'm tired of judging women based on the men they choose
Im a man and ive learned so much drom princella the queen maker!! I never miss her shows
Girl, I would pay money to talk to you and get your advice!
31:17 so much so!! There is generosity and then there is throwing money around- and they are not the same thing ❤
Thank you for the recommendations, queen ❤.
Much appreciated mixtape.
Thank you so much for this video! ❤
11:43 men sadly bond over the mistreatment of women and misogyny… rating women, porn, strippers, crazy ex gf stories, etc
Women don’t rate men? Women don’t have crazy ex bf stories?
@@Quaquadaquno we speak of small penises and shit in bed.
Read the book:
Conversations with casanova
I need this right now.
Oh my goodness. This is brilliant!!!
I want to date like I am just being myself.
Lysm for this. Soooo good!
I love this! ❤
I love your videos and appreciate all your advice, thanks for making content like this. I wish I had this knowledge in my 20s. And girlll I’m gonna buy you some face makeup brushes. The patience you have to use your fingers is unreal 😝
I've put the video on x0.75 speed. Sounds perfect 👍🏻👍🏻
this is amazing
Part of the bedroom thing is that men love to cuddle. Most women don't and view it as a waste of time. They'll complain of being bored and leave. Men's only want is women
I needed this in my life
Same, needed this ten years ago
You’re the best
I'm a woman, men have turned me off so much that I'd rather date other women now or stay single
Always remember - good men are still out there! It just might not be the 6’5 Blue eyes finance guy ;) just give decent men a chance ❤
second tiktok describes my biological father to a tee, what a fuckin creep i feel disgusted to even call him that hes jus a sperm donor fr
Can you do a video of how to red pill content
Here's my take: they say popular catch phrases or ideologies from those pages/ content creators
this reminds me of when I went to go see bottoms and theaters. and although there weren’t a lot of laughs during the movie, all the men bust out laughing when Marshawn Lynch said “women aren’t good people”. because the girls had lied and weren’t perfect friends to each other.
after this entire feminist movie talking about our experiences and about wanting to feel safe; all the men could take from it was ha ha women suck and they annoy me. “hold women accountable!” lol. in 2023 people… smh. 🤦🏾♀️
8:10 “fuck the patriarchy” keychain on the ground
Omg reminds me of this guy I very briefly dated. I said something about how it was scary to live alone as a woman and guys don't really have to worry about getting r@ped in their sleep. Completely understandable and not even controversial...so I thought. He proceeded to find like the ONE news article ever of a time a women broke into a man's apartment and sexually assaulted him to, I guess, prove some kind of point?? I never spoke to that ahole again. I'm scared for any woman who would end up with him.
How would you respond when someone asks what does a woman bring to the table? Do you not waste your time responding because they're already skeptical of a womans value?
@@Innateworth yes, exactly. they already failed w that question! There’s a lot to discuss there thought, looks like I’ll be uploading my 50/50 Tik Tok playlist next for yall!
It’s never ever asked in good faith.
If they don’t know why they liked you enough to ask them out… I don’t think they are bright enough to date you ;)
I’d not see them again but I’d definitely tell them what a woman brings to the table-manifestelle has some good videos about how even being seen with a woman increases a man’s value
He failed by asking the question. You want to audition for him, start rattling off your best qualities, etc? The question automatically puts you in a subservient position beneath him. Don't engage because if you do, you'll spend the whole relationship trying to "measure up" to prove to his basic ass that you're worthy of him. You don't need his validation.
He followed up, he is generous with more than money, she showed empathy, open mindedness and flexibility but he went 50-50 on all the dates.
I dont know, i dont want any man who previously treated someone badly because she "was not his prize"( I dont think its a decent human, who treat me good only because im good for him(
❤