I just love how all the patterns that have been repeating themselves for over hundreds of years are now becoming textbook to women who choose knowledge
All of these points, esp the faking and not wanting to seem like the bad guy pretty much sums up my 23 year marriage and I was the idiot who fell for it: breadcrumbing, future faking, him having a literal different personality around other ppl, thinking one day he'd finally get his sh*t together. But thankfully I finally realized that day would never come and he's outta here. I will never put myself in that position again. ETA: I LOVE your content and so grateful you came over to yt.
Hey! You are not an idiot for not knowing a thing! And its hard to undo habits even when wry later see how they are harming us. Sometimes its easier to stay with a thing than change because of all thats required to move on. Its not good or bad. Youve done your learning and i assume have changed your situation and environment to make it easier to put yourself first. Have some grace for yourself!
He's to blame, not you - you behaved in a way that he _deliberately_ tried to induce in you. What he did was intentional, and that deserves blame. Taking people at face value, seeing the best in people, forgiving and giving people another chance are _assets_ in a proper human relationship, be it friends, acquaintances, or work. He was like a thief. He took your good will and twisted it for his benefit. He's in the wrong.
@@jojojams im so happy to be here! as others have said you have nothing to blame yourself for. Society completely set you up to fall for this and fail. Now you know better and can focus on yourself - that’s the most important thing.
Growing into yourself is a journey that requires self-compassion. Embrace it all-the mistakes, the joys, every part of it. No shame, just a journey full of peaks and valleys. 😙😙😙
@ 41:40 OMG you're so right about that. I thought after my first relationship turned out to be so trash that I'd try dating the weird, nerdy, "nice guy" who was my """"friend"''"". And he treated me even worse. Wayyy worse. It's like he had something to prove that he could 'get' a woman he considered better looking than him 😢😢😢 On the other hand, he didn't see himself as the 'good guy' by the end of our relationship and didn't make excuses for himself. That's the only positive thing I can say about that.
Thank you for pointing out the portion about the resources gained from previously dating attractive, possibly well known women. Every time I watch reality TV and I see women be attracted to men based on who they previously dated, I think “why?” The attention needs not to be given to who they pulled, but why none of those previous relationships worked out. I don’t care how many “resources” a man has from having a failed relationship with one or more attractive women - it’s not a success if it didn’t last. You said it best: this is a lesson on what not to do 👏
I read somewhere that watching other women find a man attractive will make you see him as more attractive. It's a reflex. She desired him, therefore he is desirable. And if she was gorgeous and you imagine she had all options open to her, and she STILL went for him, then that's very high praise from her. If you look at it from a certain angle, this happens because we're inclined to trust other women's judgement. Also, competition whets the appetite. It is hard to be deeply in love with someone that no one else seems to want, and so, so easy to see the value in someone who is desired by all. This is from a book on evolutionary psychology that I read seven years ago and I do not remember the title. It used Darwin and his life as a case study, though, and that was really interesting.
That's why they believe all the crime and violence associated with their entire gender will disappear because they try to speak it into existence, doesn't work like that.
I have never dated anyone for 26 years and gave it a chance and I rapidly noticed that there is a rampant narcissism, ego centrism, selfishness lack of reciprocity and lack of care among men. They attribute that to society conditioning them like that but I don’t think that a grown men can use that excuse all life long right. At some point you gotta try to develop some qualities that are worth a damn instead of dragging women into bleak misery and mistreatments.
Thank you for pointing out Kendall’s love for the patriarchy and his nice guy act. Because people are coming for Nicole and is taking flack because of his nice guy act.
@@bongiwekambule3409 he was so over the top at casa like he was def living vicariously and eating up every moment 😭😭 doing wayy too much! Nicole should have known right then he would embarrass her too at some point.
You're doing an amazing job in summarizing all this research, analysis and insight for us. Your eloquence and your calm, soothing voice makes for really easy listening, even when you're explaining somewhat unnerving concepts.
I wish I could get my ex to listen to this. You basically described him perfectly. As with most of these types of men, he was able to hide everything until I was truly emotionally invested, and then he let the mask drop. I'm convinced that they DO know how to act right, bc they're able to do it when it benefits them (such as at work, and around other men they want to impress or women they want to sleep with). If I said "I'm feeling [something negative]" he would often take that as me accusing HIM of making me feel that way, and without asking for clarification, he'd immediately go on the defensive. I then would have to switch to soothing HIS hurt feelings when the original topic was mine. 🙄 He once told me I should just "ignore it" or "choose to stop being hurt", and when I turned it around and asked him why HE doesn't just ignore being hurt, he didn't have a response and had to concede that he was asking for something irrational. I was constantly telling him he needs to do psychedelics and try to cultivate empathy. It becomes exhausting quickly.
Married for 13 years?!! I am so confused!! You talk so strongly, with authority and knowledge, you were around with Sammie and Ronnie, but you look 22 or so!! I guess this is what peace and not letting men wear you down looks like!! 😂😂
It made my day to see that you dropped an over an hour-long video. I don't know why I didn't get a notification for it but I'm here, better late than never lol.
I love that someone watches these shows the same way I do, but it's why I can't watch them all the time and also why I can't talk about them with anyone else because everyone else I've pointed my thoughts out to are like "you're making that up" and "you're too sensitive" and "nobody thinks that way" and "why are you weird". It sucks and it's lonely.
Men really just don’t live in reality 😅🙄- thank you for this amazing video! I love your work so much 💖 Edit - only I typed this out before I even heard your 10th point 😂
Watch the latest uk one too...pleeease... I have to know what u think of mimii and her relationships with ayo and josh and other women in the house....PLEEEAAAASSSSE!!!
What are ur thoughts on kibbe body types? I def think Ariana is in the natural family and explains why she looks good with drapey dresses that balance out her wide shoulders
@@crystal-tk5rt absolutely agree!! I think the kibbe system can be simplified quite a bit too I personally have narrowed it down to 6 body types & natural is def one of them!
I’m all for mental health and expressing emotions calmly as they come up. But it’s starting to seem like men only bring up their emotions or mh to absolve themselves of any accountability/use it against us all while not giving a fuk about what their doing to our minds. A guy broke up with me once claiming he needed to work on his mh & I understood and offered him my therapist’s number, he didn’t accept it and was back with his apparently abus1ve ex within 2 weeks. I’d let so much slide, thinking he’d been through that too!
I just love how all the patterns that have been repeating themselves for over hundreds of years are now becoming textbook to women who choose knowledge
All of these points, esp the faking and not wanting to seem like the bad guy pretty much sums up my 23 year marriage and I was the idiot who fell for it: breadcrumbing, future faking, him having a literal different personality around other ppl, thinking one day he'd finally get his sh*t together. But thankfully I finally realized that day would never come and he's outta here. I will never put myself in that position again. ETA: I LOVE your content and so grateful you came over to yt.
Hey! You are not an idiot for not knowing a thing! And its hard to undo habits even when wry later see how they are harming us. Sometimes its easier to stay with a thing than change because of all thats required to move on. Its not good or bad. Youve done your learning and i assume have changed your situation and environment to make it easier to put yourself first. Have some grace for yourself!
He's to blame, not you - you behaved in a way that he _deliberately_ tried to induce in you. What he did was intentional, and that deserves blame.
Taking people at face value, seeing the best in people, forgiving and giving people another chance are _assets_ in a proper human relationship, be it friends, acquaintances, or work.
He was like a thief.
He took your good will and twisted it for his benefit.
He's in the wrong.
@@jojojams im so happy to be here! as others have said you have nothing to blame yourself for. Society completely set you up to fall for this and fail. Now you know better and can focus on yourself - that’s the most important thing.
Growing into yourself is a journey that requires self-compassion. Embrace it all-the mistakes, the joys, every part of it. No shame, just a journey full of peaks and valleys. 😙😙😙
Thank you so much! All your wise words are anathema! ilysm!
@ 41:40 OMG you're so right about that. I thought after my first relationship turned out to be so trash that I'd try dating the weird, nerdy, "nice guy" who was my """"friend"''"". And he treated me even worse. Wayyy worse. It's like he had something to prove that he could 'get' a woman he considered better looking than him 😢😢😢
On the other hand, he didn't see himself as the 'good guy' by the end of our relationship and didn't make excuses for himself. That's the only positive thing I can say about that.
Thank you for pointing out the portion about the resources gained from previously dating attractive, possibly well known women. Every time I watch reality TV and I see women be attracted to men based on who they previously dated, I think “why?” The attention needs not to be given to who they pulled, but why none of those previous relationships worked out. I don’t care how many “resources” a man has from having a failed relationship with one or more attractive women - it’s not a success if it didn’t last. You said it best: this is a lesson on what not to do 👏
@@CNS_0507 it’s gotta be some kind of a evolutionary thing omg 😭😭 it’s so hard to watch everytime.
I read somewhere that watching other women find a man attractive will make you see him as more attractive. It's a reflex. She desired him, therefore he is desirable. And if she was gorgeous and you imagine she had all options open to her, and she STILL went for him, then that's very high praise from her. If you look at it from a certain angle, this happens because we're inclined to trust other women's judgement.
Also, competition whets the appetite. It is hard to be deeply in love with someone that no one else seems to want, and so, so easy to see the value in someone who is desired by all.
This is from a book on evolutionary psychology that I read seven years ago and I do not remember the title. It used Darwin and his life as a case study, though, and that was really interesting.
Men care about how they feel and how they look -- 💯
That's why they believe all the crime and violence associated with their entire gender will disappear because they try to speak it into existence, doesn't work like that.
I completely agree
I agree wide shoulders are a GREAT thing for making dresses work, I wish more women would embrace that
I am so happy u do this work..
For the complexity of the information and the quality of the way u are broadcasting...
Love u!
@@arlett6477 Love you!! Thank you sm seriously that means the world 💗🫂🙏✨
I have never dated anyone for 26 years and gave it a chance and I rapidly noticed that there is a rampant narcissism, ego centrism, selfishness lack of reciprocity and lack of care among men. They attribute that to society conditioning them like that but I don’t think that a grown men can use that excuse all life long right. At some point you gotta try to develop some qualities that are worth a damn instead of dragging women into bleak misery and mistreatments.
Yes the video is an hour long I'm ready Let's Go 🤩🤩🤩
🤗
Haven't watched yet but Girl the thumb nail is giving
ahhhahaha thank you 😂😂
You're welcome 😊
Thank you for pointing out Kendall’s love for the patriarchy and his nice guy act. Because people are coming for Nicole and is taking flack because of his nice guy act.
@@bongiwekambule3409 he was so over the top at casa like he was def living vicariously and eating up every moment 😭😭 doing wayy too much! Nicole should have known right then he would embarrass her too at some point.
Thank you for your content! You have important information for the girlies to be aware of when dating men. ❤
Brilliant video! 🎉
I’d love you to analyze Love Is Blind UK that’s recently concluded. There are soooo many lessons there too!
You're doing an amazing job in summarizing all this research, analysis and insight for us. Your eloquence and your calm, soothing voice makes for really easy listening, even when you're explaining somewhat unnerving concepts.
I love your channel so much!! and your tiktok as well!!
Thank you so much!! 🫂💗
I wish I could get my ex to listen to this. You basically described him perfectly. As with most of these types of men, he was able to hide everything until I was truly emotionally invested, and then he let the mask drop. I'm convinced that they DO know how to act right, bc they're able to do it when it benefits them (such as at work, and around other men they want to impress or women they want to sleep with).
If I said "I'm feeling [something negative]" he would often take that as me accusing HIM of making me feel that way, and without asking for clarification, he'd immediately go on the defensive. I then would have to switch to soothing HIS hurt feelings when the original topic was mine. 🙄 He once told me I should just "ignore it" or "choose to stop being hurt", and when I turned it around and asked him why HE doesn't just ignore being hurt, he didn't have a response and had to concede that he was asking for something irrational. I was constantly telling him he needs to do psychedelics and try to cultivate empathy. It becomes exhausting quickly.
I absolutely love all of your content. New sub! So authentic and I love what I’m receiving from you!!
yay im thrilled to hear that!! thank you so much
Married for 13 years?!! I am so confused!! You talk so strongly, with authority and knowledge, you were around with Sammie and Ronnie, but you look 22 or so!! I guess this is what peace and not letting men wear you down looks like!! 😂😂
It made my day to see that you dropped an over an hour-long video. I don't know why I didn't get a notification for it but I'm here, better late than never lol.
I vote for your casual hoodie look. No fuss, no muss.
I love that someone watches these shows the same way I do, but it's why I can't watch them all the time and also why I can't talk about them with anyone else because everyone else I've pointed my thoughts out to are like "you're making that up" and "you're too sensitive" and "nobody thinks that way" and "why are you weird".
It sucks and it's lonely.
I agree, Ariana looks better in bold, almost neon colors
I love that you covered this! Great video, loved the end!
I love your video as always! Thank you very much for sharing your thoughts on this show. ❤❤❤
You are so smart!
Men really just don’t live in reality 😅🙄- thank you for this amazing video! I love your work so much 💖
Edit - only I typed this out before I even heard your 10th point 😂
Watch the latest uk one too...pleeease... I have to know what u think of mimii and her relationships with ayo and josh and other women in the house....PLEEEAAAASSSSE!!!
makes me feel better about my breakup. my ex was like those men and majority of people i used to see
30:35 is Everything (nothing). So much easier to be single
What are ur thoughts on kibbe body types? I def think Ariana is in the natural family and explains why she looks good with drapey dresses that balance out her wide shoulders
Margot robbie is also a natural, I believe
@@crystal-tk5rt absolutely agree!! I think the kibbe system can be simplified quite a bit too I personally have narrowed it down to 6 body types & natural is def one of them!
I’m all for mental health and expressing emotions calmly as they come up. But it’s starting to seem like men only bring up their emotions or mh to absolve themselves of any accountability/use it against us all while not giving a fuk about what their doing to our minds.
A guy broke up with me once claiming he needed to work on his mh & I understood and offered him my therapist’s number, he didn’t accept it and was back with his apparently abus1ve ex within 2 weeks.
I’d let so much slide, thinking he’d been through that too!
You are extraordinary and brilliant!
🦢🦢🦢🦢🦢🦢🦢🦢🦢🦢🦢🦢🦢🦢🦢🦢
omg thank you!!! :)))
43:43 matt rife
@talkingtochapri
💯!!! The 'jaw'! 😂🤣😂
😂😂🎉🎉
My top is 10, 3, 2 😊
🎯🎯🎯
Sounds like narcissism to me.
Gurl how is your husband coping with this kind of content? 32:00 it's great for us women btw
Im so confused since she says she’s happily married. But still talkes about all men, should it be most men?
Nuance.. her husband is off the market so not relatable to this conversation. Nothing confusing about it.
🍿💜
Mariah Carey???