ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ก.ย. 2024
- Let's talk about the relationship of men to masculinity and how that affects current gender dynamics. There are lots of interesting studies and statistics to discuss in this one!
Sources:
The Fragile Male - www.ncbi.nlm.n...
Where manhood is fragile, men die young - www.apa.org/pu...
Fragile Masculinity and Hypermasculine Defenses - www.psychology...
Fragile masculinity at work - fortune.com/20...
The political significance of fragile masculinity - www.sciencedir....
Men, We Have a Problem, You’re Fragile AF! - / men-we-have-a-problem-...
Shifting the Conversation: From Toxic Masculinity to Male Fragility - www.wi.edu/new...
#masculinity #genderdynamics #anthropology #sociology #women #4b #misogyny
As a boy mom, I have taken it upon myself to raise emotional whole human beings. My 21 year old sons GF sent me a text basically saying how great my son treats her and that felt so good to hear. I am so proud of him!
I'm trying my best to do this. I feel like I'm succeeding, but I suppose I won't know until he is grown. He's 8 now. The biggest things I emphasize at this age is ownership for his actions, responsibility for his surroundings, and consideration. I'm his mom, not his maid. He has to clean up after himself (within reason, there are some tasks he isn't up to yet.) He helps fold laundry.
yes ! They're not genetically lacking empathy and humanity. But they're raised in a way that make them borderline psychopaths. It's a tragedy and it has to stop.
@@meadowrae1491 Keep it up! My mother behaved as a maid for my brother growing up. He and my father were never expected to help with house chores because "they are men".
Now my brother is a 40 year old who lives in a messy apartment and can't take care of himself. That woman my mother expected would one day materialize and take care of her son? Never happened. Probably never will. 🙄
Brilliant guy too! Could have been anything he wanted if he had had proper guidance in life. Dad couldn't be bothered raising him (women work), and Mom did everything for him but was no better at raising kids. He's on the spectrum and would have needed solid guidance and extra support, but he got none. Raised to be an eternal child.
What a sad waste!!
@@kated3165 Ugh, the differing expectations of girls vs boys with autism is a sticking point for me. My youngest brother was diagnosed ADHD and has some mild learning disabilities. He has been coddled to the point of being a permanent child, like you said. Meanwhile, I never got diagnosed. I just struggled until I couldn't take it anymore and left home at 16. I moved in with other family, but the main reason was that I couldn't shoulder the weight of being an accessory parent to my mother's other four children. (Stepdad did NOTHING related to childcare.) I had breakdowns about every three years on average. When I had my son I was barely functioning and I was finally diagnosed ADHD/autistic in my 30's, mainly because my son was diagnosed. I should note that my ADHD presented EXACTLY as you would expect for a boy. Both my son and myself present as mostly hyperactive. The only reason I wasn't diagnosed is because I was born female.
You are the super woman this world needs well done!
I always said we have the gender roles swapped. You keep your daughters inside, and watching our every move. When you need to be watching men like that.
I agree with that. They swapped nearly every aspect.
Keeping men inside means nothing gets done, who would repair your toilets and build your homes? And you do realize male predators are a minority, don't you? Imagine men calling all women gold diggers because of the actions of the minority... But keep being irrational, one day it might pay off.
You're basing that on the belief that males and females are equal in the ways they learn and interact with the world......... they don't.
Pent up energy that's not directed in a healthy direction for boys will come out sideways in what women refer to as "toxic behavior".
Most boys are naturally risk takers. And as such learn their societal boundaries by interacting with other boys and men.
Young men often get to suffer the consequences of their decisions while learning to navigate life. Women on the other hand often do not have to suffer the same degree of consequences for the same behavior.
Yup everything is upside down inside out. I’ve always said something feels wrong and I was right.
Yesss I can't imagine the abusive porn they've watched in your own house.
I feel so fortunate to be living through this scale tipping
I don't know where they got their weird macho macho man image. In the bible, king david was a musician, he was emotional etc and yet he could kill lions, win many wars, he never felt he was being feminine for writing psalms. In the mediaval times, kings wore make up and heels, and never felt like they were dressing like women. What happened since ww2 is very bizarre and unnatural.
Genesis and dynamics of "antagonistic sexual co evolution" or basically the arms race between the sexes but in a state of ignorance about nature for mistaking ones power to dominate as divine right
Also industrialization and indoctrination
Yes, men wore heels at first to seem bigger than they were.
@@oOIIIMIIIOoThey didn't hate femininity as much back than. Now they're not into patriarchy, they're into masculinism, which is why they view feminism (women's rights) as a threat. But instead of going their own way and marrying each other, they want free labor from women to free their time and get lore money. It's slavery.
Blame the Puritans for that. They created this mess in society. Read about American indigenous societies and you will see how women were respected in the community for their own strengths.
You must be very lacking
Excellent video. Patriarchy and NOT feminism is the greatest threat to men.
Whatever makes you feel good
@@1675loofAny chance you watched the video?
Threads and dangers are a part of our existence, life is not always easy, as uncomfortable as patriarchy sometimes is for men it protects civilizations while feminism is a trans hierarchical method of rulership which weakens societies in general as it is weakening the western civilization right now,
@@oreocarlton3343 Patriarchy places limits on men, women, and all genders-it is inherently destructive and exploitive.
@@oreocarlton3343danger is created by men though.
The way you talked about "energies" & how both women & men should wield femininity & masculinity like an infinity symbol is very much an Eastern philosophy. The image that came to mind is yin & yang
Eastern countries are extremely patriarchal anyway.
that is bigoted towards homosexual marriages
I learned weaponised incompetence from my older brother. As kids, our parents would ask one of us to make them tea or coffee. He used to do it badly, so they stopped asking him.....just like all the other chores.
I love this Channel so much, was looking for something like this for a long time!
Me too ❤..finally she puts into perspective what I knew but couldn't quite understand.
Can't wait for next week!
She does a lot of research so it takes time😊
I don’t even like to refer to certain traits or behaviors as masculine or feminine. It’s such a ridiculous notion. What one could call masculine is something that can easily be demonstrated in women, but they want to give credit to a whole other gender than acknowledge she has that quality for her. That’s invalidating to every one.
That whole notion comes from the flawed observation of arrogant men.
True
Society takes male subjectivity as objective. Has been a huge mistake
This. femininity and masculinity are simply social constructs designed to mainly cage women and keep us in a subordinate position. There is no power in denying their insinuations. We need to get rid of the entire patriarchal concepts of “masculinity” and “femininity” if we want true freedom bcs they make no sense biologically speaking
More phenomenal work! We all contain multitudes, why cut our humanity in half and label the halves 'masculine' and 'feminine'?
Gender expectations.
Yep - just that.
Because half of the multitudes are men and half are female... but it's not really half because in certain people groups they kill the women before they have a chance to breathe real air, so the human population worldwide is definitely not half male and half female.
Real Christian men cherish women and protect them and set them up to thrive.
To be aware of complimentary opposition and discernment of co evolution
Thank you so much for all the work you have put in to create such high quality content. Your use of research findings, and language that communicates in a neautral and factual manner is not only validating to the female experience, but also a great resource for men to consume without feeling somewhat attacked with biases. There are other content creators who have used similar information but missed the mark in terms of neutrality, and I think it's much harder for men to absorb such info when it is too emotionally charged. I really appreciate your good effort and am eager to see what else you will offer us in the future ❤
When you mentioned the infinity symbol ♾️ with both masculine and feminine energies cooperatively flowing within a human vessel, a 💡 went off in my head! 🤯
No kidding, definitely validating
Mine too!!!! 💡I really appreciate your content.
Always learning something new! I had not heard about alexithymia before. This explains so much!
This study is interesting. Noticing my younger brother was way more clingy. My nephew more compared to my niece.
I have a son and two daughters. My son is a great balance. Very emotionally intelligent and also very strong. My daughters are very balanced also. It is possible to raise emotionally intelligent children.
Something that used to happen with my brother, a year and a half older than me, when we were young if he felt ill he'd always go to tell our mother, whilst I would look for a solution (like going to throw up) by myself. In so many things he seemed to require instruction, and I'd just work it out for myself.
That's not the case with my nieces
Absolutely. In my 20s, I worked at 2 different daycares and the boys were overwhelmingly more “needy/clingy,” emotionally dysregulated, and demanding in general.
I have always enjoyed your content, you just don’t throw stuff in d air, it’s always backed up by stats ❤
You gotta look up the texas elemtary school shooting and the mother that rescued her son and the rest of his class with the shooter in the schoole while the cops were outside doing nothing but standing around. They got angry with her for making them look bad so they continued to stalk her house and harass her. Its absolutely pathetic.
Weak men create hard times .
and weak men are the ones who cater to feminism
Louise Jay was the first person to introduce me to the concept that all humans need both sides. We need all the human traits in every human even if it's just a little. It needs to be accessible to function.
Lisa, have you read 'When God Was a Woman' ? It soothed my injured feminine soul. x
I bought that book!!! Haven't read it yet. Heard it from Manifestelle's channel
Women of Mythology is also a good book
@@Disobedientfulaniwoman It's life changing! And fascinating. ✨️
Also read the Cosmic Mother and the Sybyl’s.
Yes! I read it till the spine cracked!
So many feminists' Achilles heel is the tired "if we just teach them/raise them differently" trope. I'm sorry, but this is just another "if women will jump through yet ANOTHER hoop, these men will be normal."
Can we face reality please? I'm old enough to have watched boys be raised in different generations and in all kinds of new ways. The result is the SAME. Every study, every brain scan, every observation tells us that how they think/act/feel is extremely different from us. There's clearly a biological basis. You can't point to a few exceptions and go "see they CAN be like us!" What is the rule?? We will never get to where we need to go, as women (or protect ourselves the way we need to), so long as we are still believing these silly notions.
When are you going to treat us the same way you treat women and girls.
First sensible comment I've read here. Male and female humans do, in the majority behave differently in certain aspects. Just because outliers exist does not disprove this. Stop pretending we are the same in every way. We are not.
@@wingnut71 were exactly the same.
@@magicsinglez Lol. Sure pal.
ABSOLUTELY… We are not the same!!! Our society and programming has tricked women into cohabitating with our prey 😖😖😖🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️
Girl you are savage. Keep the great videos coming I like this series
@7:50 I like the way you mentioned "...in the west." I think the role of colonization and it's view of gender segregation needs to be unpacked. Masculinity is not an inherent quality. It is an appropriation of certain qualities to empower a class. In other words, men aren't strong because they are men. Men are strong because patriarchy said that to be strong is to be male. Then it's a game of trying to model your masculinity after this obscure trait. I never feel more feminine than when I am confident and powerful. I wish more people would watch my two-part series on how modern misogyny is ANTI-Hispanic.
How do you account for the impact of testosterone on men's muscle mass?
@@jamesl1806
How do you account for the impact of mind in strength?
@@OpaloAzul if that were true why is it when we train, our muscles grow not our minds?
@@jamesl1806
And that's why men shouldn't be in charge of anything important
@@OpaloAzul I don't think gendered rules are ethical.
My new favorite youtuber!!!love this video and the last one thank you !!!
I a man, am here in support
Growing up my sister proved to be a better leader than my brother despite him being older than my sister by like 3 years. My brother always felt threatened with his mediocre leadership and he would threaten to harm me if I told my mother. 🤦🏾♀️. Now he is 30 and unemployed and useless like he has always been.
Rooting for your content to blow and reach the right audience. Your content has been helping so much in healing from my first relationship 💗💗💗
...when all they had to do was be masculine and all that women had to do was everything else... 🏅🏅🏅
To me, feminine traits are: intelligence, wisdom, intellectual, strength, residence, strategic, leadership, protector, provider, nurturing, loving, spiritual, emotional intelligence, beauty.
This is what I thought when I was a kid, I was raised by single mother, grandmother, and other female friends, female cousins. Inside my household, it was matriarchy. Only four men were present in my life but their incompetence compared to women were palpable.
I was always confused why men are often portrayed as main character in anime, media etcs because what I've seen in real life were completely different from that. The most clever thing I've heard in media was always somewhat similar to what women have said to me in real life, It was never men.
Those traits are genuine and nature in my opinion and i'm confident that it is.
Primates are naturally matriarchal.
Loving this series. Glad the algorithm helped you pop up on my feed!
We need a part 3..4…5, etc 👏👏👏
The problem I've encountered multiple times with men is that they do allow me to be their emotional support in a relationship, and I've enjoyed it at first because of love, but there's always a limit to it. They always shut down eventually, and start gaslighting. And then the emotional support they seemed to show for me starts to feel as if it was performative. That just makes them seem infantile. And it gives me the creeps that they pull that shit to get regular sex, plus I feel stupid.
So I've become celibate. I'm tired of wasting time and not getting back what I'm putting into a relationship.
I'm glad that some women are lucky enough to be with a man long term who doesn't shut down and emotionally abuse them. But I'm done. The rest of my life is for me.
Sadly, many of the long term relationships I see people having are toxic-co-dependent, where one or both people are emotionally abusing each other, yet have convinced themselves that being alone is worse. It seems like a mental illness to prefer constant drama and pain to being alone.
Jordan Peterson is smoking nervously somewhere.
you idiots fantasies a lot...
This!
Yes! Princella the Queenmaker goes into great detail on these studies.
Appreciate this information😊❤
21:43 I disagree with the point that women are valued when showing "male" traits. For example, strong women are far too often criticized as being aggressive whereas strong men are praised for being confident.
Male traits found in women are praised as long as they benefit men. A woman that goes to work, makes money and on top of that performs « feminine » duties will give status to her man and make his life easier, while still giving him the ability to cosplay the trad man. The second women are in a position of leadership that that doesn’t benefit men, they’ll be vilified.
In short, we’re allowed to be independent and « girlboss » a bit, but only if men have something to gain from it.
I think she meant reward, not valued. They make more money, they have better social status, etc,….
love this content! commenting for the algorithm
The idea of everything having masculine and feminine energies can also be found as one of the 7 Hermetic principles in the Kybalion.
Facts!!! Most have no idea what femininity or masculinity is 😢
Great content, keep them coming!
Thank you
Thanks professor, that was another great lecture!
Genius!
Ur amazing ❤ Much success to you and all you ladies out there. Wish u healing and understanding
My mom sees toxic masculinity as being aspirational for women. Toxic masculinity is definitely not exclusive to men. Thanks for noting that
This is so interesting and insightful.
Female bears protect their young. Women can protect too.
Love the video! Commenting for the algorithm
Thank you for making this video thank you for laying things out in the matter you did you're right about how you're right about a lot of things and it is interesting how femininity is looked down upon in our society still is and how masculinity is venerated and it's the toxic aspects I think that are hurting men and I think you pointed a lot of those out it's as as a male I find a lot of aspects of how what I'm told to do to be a man to be repressive to be regressive and there's aspects of it I just absolutely despise and I wish we'd get away from it I also wish we would get away from labeling things like compassion strength loyalty and all of those things with gender terms. Eg saying that strength is masculine trait. I have always questioned that since I became aware such practices were done. I am a straight male that has a style preference considered"feminine", that shares household upkeep with my fiance, so guess what some consider me? For decades now I have accepted my own traits that our silly culture considered being masculine, and it is good to see others doing the same, though in ways our cultures are regressing back to strict gender rules and limits. Were I growing up in this time I likely would have pushed to transition to another gender, for instance.
I love her, it's like older sister that I never had 🥹❤❤
interesting content!
Love this .
🧡🧡🧡
BEHOLD, LISA GODDESS IS HERE! ❤ ✨️
the segment about masculinity and femininity summing up to humaniity spoke to me so much! I do not agree with the standard femininity channels on youtube even if i agree with their messages about empowerment and valuing feminine invisible labour.
I hope you bring some biology into the discussion, like how different hormones affect behavior. Also a discussion of free will is very relevant. See Dr. Robert Sapolsky.
So you want to hear about differences that are natural or innate and then you want to hear about how we don’t have free will to overcome innate traits or that we do have free will to overcome them? You want this TH-camr to discuss an evolutionary psychologist? Isn’t she referencing data?
Go watch Munecat’s latest
@franjkav OH my a nasty self-appointed channel monitor. I thought this discussion was about human behavior and a possible future without patriarchy. My bad. Go have a cookie. You'll feel better.
@franjkav Gee I thought we were discussing human behavior and the possibility of ridding ourselves of patriarchy. My bad.
@@franjkav You're a grumpy self-appointed channel monitor. Go have a cookie. You'll feel better. That's advice from Dr. Sapolsky.
Subscribed ❤️!!
What's your take on the books The Female Brain and The Male Brain? Specifically how having XX chromosomes vs XY chromosomes and Oestrogen vs Testosterone affect behavior? For instance boys being naturally more restless and less mature than girls of the same age. I'd personally like schools to be segregated by gender to protect both genders and those in between
There is no "in-between." One is either boys or girls, you are either a male (XY) or female (XX). There are very rare exceptions where there is a genetic defect which doesn't result in that genetic outcome. But that is a medical condition and not an "Identity"
If you ever think to yourself "Ah yes, segregating school is the answer." You need to take a serious look at yourself.
When children are raised in gender neutral environments, we see many of these "gender" differences taper off. There is some evidence that baby boys start out more emotionally expressive, but are taught to bottle it up. Girls then overtake boys, not because they are inherently more emotionally regulated due to their sex, but because boys are purposely raised to be stunted in this area. Our society has decided even babies have to be tough and rough, solely because they have a certain genitalia.
We will never be able to have equality in a world where we tell children they are inherently too different to go to school with the other half of the population. This is setting them up. Boys, having no experience around them, will assume whatever they are told, and girls will do the same about boys. They will be unable to see themselves as equals because they were never taught to see the other person as just that, a person just like them.
@@TheAwesomes2104 The idea that segregation is wrong is not a fact of any sort, and it's actually a historical aberration. Even in contemporary times there is increasing support for segregation, what do you think the whole "affinity space/group" model is about?
@@EunMin-yt1xxthis is colonizer talk. If you're on American soil, take that crap back to Europe where it came from. Plenty of cultures, all around the planet, have more than 2 gender roles, pretending it's only your way or the highway is ignorant of reality.
You acknowledge that male and female aren't even the only two ways of sex, so why are you so adamant to shove every single human being alive into two very specific, tiny boxes?
@@mylesleggette7520I'm a huge fan of segregation. Unfortunately, in the part it was used an excuse to give the disadvantaged group a lower quality of life.
Thank you for the talk lovely, very interesting to learn about those studies! 🙏 Btw, where did you get that cute shirt?? 💗
❤❤❤❤
I'm only about 1/4th the way in, but based on the comments, I'm getting the sense she goes for 40+ mins on the "myth" of masculinity, yet fails to mention the roles of testosterone and estrogen as having any effect on masculine or feminine traits..... 🤦♂
She says it has nothing to do with biology. Thats what the data shows.
Hey Lisa, love the channel! Great job! 😊 I don’t disagree with what you are saying, besides the concept you mention at the start of this episode about the patriarchy being built out of the invisible labour of women… If all women everywhere were to decide to stop this invisible labour and divorce their husbands - society would still continue. It would suck and be a shit existence, so people would probably end up offing themselves - but it would still run at a fundamental level. On the contrary, if men all decided to quit their labour, society would fall apart almost overnight due to all the blue-collar jobs that form the foundation of civilisation nowadays not being done. Just wanted to get your perspective on this concept and also ask what you think/feel the list of masculine traits should actually be rather than what they are at the moment?
Also, there are a lot of anecdotal stories available of women requesting their men to be more emotionally expressive and less “stoic”, but then when their man does display vulnerability and emotional fragility, their sense of attraction to them evaporates and the relationship ends up ruined. Did you have any thoughts on this?
Thanks for your time, keep up the great work!
I’d like to bring up a corollary. Yes, men get desperate if they see that their manhood is threatened. Wouldn’t women feel threatened if those around them felt they weren’t a good mother? If you’re a ‘bad enough’ mother your children might be taken away and a door might be opened up where others would insult you or think badly of you.
This already happens, especially to new mothers. Women are picked apart as little girls and into adulthood, to aspire to perfection and to develop both masculine and feminine traits to benefit the patriarchy. Girls are taught early on that they must be of service, be useful, be delicate, submit and to cede all of the credit to the powers that be.
@@jibarabicha4853: that was what I was trying to bring up, I think. Yes, a man might be terrified if his manhood were called into question, but a woman, conceivably, might be terrified of being thought a bad mother. But I don’t think what she’s saying is true, anymore. One can’t be terrified of losing a status one doesn’t have. While it’s said that a woman is accepted as she is, a man must do something or prove himself in order to be considered a man. His little manhood must be acknowledge by the outside world before he is considered or accepted as a man, something that isn’t going to happen in this day and age.
@@magicsinglez Men are the ones who police other men's "manhood". Also, there is a false equivalency in your comparison. Being a good mother or a bad mother has a regulatory agency with case workers to arbitrate that which is not arbitrary. Masculinity, as judged and policed by other men, is arbitrary.
@@magicsinglezwomen are considered bad mothers all the time. We even have words in every language to shame mothers..
I think men should also feel threatened in regards their parenthood. At least it should be normalized as such, because parenthood is not only a women's job. But society (with its religious middle eastern influences) developed by dividing the job. Kids are made from 50%-50% genetic capital from both parents. But regarding competitive behaviour( which is the theme in the "manhood is threatened", I think women learned to cope with the "submissive" behaviour, as a competition in it's own value, that dynamic always existed (think of chinese concubines, the plots, the deaths, etc.). Both men and women are naturally competitive. That's why women are also so nasty to each other when fighting for the same things (guys, motherhood, job, etc., what society tells them that has value for them/role). In that regard, guys have learned to incorporate their competitive traits as something to be praised (linked to sexual behaviour), so when you compete with each other, you are not so -again-, "nasty". You can compete and then shake hands, because it's an open competition, a more direct one. Women usually have a little more of a hard time doing that because they read each other more, their place is already so fragile (and so covert under what society wants her role to be) that she is actually quite ruthless with her opponent, in a more secretive way. Both genders need soothing and healing. She needs to be more open about her desire to compete. Men need to be more "protective" of their young. Parenting should be made by both the mother and the father.
Not to be old fashioned, but it used to be said that women are accepted as they are. A man must become, and boys can’t do that. It takes a mother and or older sisters to accept them ‘as a man’ when they clearly are not yet. I’m not sure what I’m saying.
Is there a historical example of a non patriarchial society?
There are a good handful or two of historical cultures that would be worth looking into. You could start with the Wikipedia page on matriarchy. It is sometimes frustrating - it dithers about what would qualify as a matriarchy and then gets sloppy with its verbiage - but it has a good long list of societies that are arguably egalitarian, matrilineal, or in some way woman centric. It includes the Hopi, the Mosuo, the Khasi, and many others.
There's also mention of an all woman village in Kenya, where men are required to move out when they reach the age of 18. It's called Umoja, and it is a refuge made by women, for women who have faced or are fleeing gender based violence. About 250 people live there, 4/5 of them children. It was founded 34 years ago.
Finally, there is this quote from the section on modern matriarchies:
"Spokespersons for various indigenous peoples at the United Nations and elsewhere have highlighted the central role of women in their societies, referring to them as matriarchies, in danger of being overthrown by the patriarchy, or as matriarchal in character."
I am under the impression that hunter gatherer tribes would have been largely egalitarian, tens and hundreds of thousands of years ago, but that's based on scattered reading and I can give no sources. I believe Yuval Harari writes about this and would have some sources to consider.
In short, if you went digging, there would be plenty for you to find on that topic. Happy reading.
@@hawleyolsen170 so only outliers, not a full civilization.
@@oreocarlton3343 LOL pardon me, mistook you for asking a genuine question
I did not watch the video that you mention in this videos preamble; however, I know for a fact that women have always been involved in the labor needed to maintain economies: they represent half the population. Perhaps you do not acknowledge the work that these women have done because they did not have an official title or designation that suits your fancy. Typically, only women near the top of the status hierarchy were allowed to exist without ever leaving the relative safety and comfort of a home, to think otherwise ignores 99% of known human history and could be perceived as an elitist refusing to acknowledge the harsh realities of life before the advantages brought about by modern science. You already lost me with your opening statement; I think you need to do more research before spreading nonsense.
Yes but it was mostly related to cleaning, agriculture, because of poor access to higher education /freedom. In my country, my grandmother was a nurse, but she could not work nor travel without the written permition of my grandfather. My other grandmother was not "authorized" to work at all!! So... mostly of the women did the lower jobs (domestic activities, agriculture, washing clothes for their own family,etc.) and others (with more freedom) did get some sort income doing the same activities for the rich families. But they could not have access to positions power with the ease of the males. Exceptions are made if they were rich and had good families (and yes, there was also good men in the past that encouraged their kids to learn, study, etc.). But yeah, women always did worked. And they worked hard. They still do.
I'd love to see how these things play out for mtf vs ftm individuals and their outcomes. Interestingly my eldest (mtf) was born 5days early, after almost being born premature several times and was the shortest labor of a first time mother anyone I encountered (4hrs light labor, 1hr heavy) and was the size of a freaking toddler! 2ft long & over 10lbs! She hit developmental milestones like someone born female too. I doubt there's been any research on this, but I wouldn't be surprised if these developmental trends hold true generally. We'll have to wait a long time to be able to look at any long term trends, but I expect we'll find that in cases where parents etc were supportive of the child's gender long term outcomes will be better for mtf than ftm but where parents attempt to enforce gender norms the opposite is true. Basically, being raised female is better than being raised male.
Also, I'd find it interesting to look at the anti femininity feminists of the 80s and especially their daughters outcomes. I was raised hyper feminine until I was 9yo (dance, pagents, modeling etc) but when I "lost my looks" aka developed acne, all my feminine interests were derided by my anti femininity mother. She was a rocket scientist/cyber security/advanced technology expert and credited her rise in her field to getting the men around her to not see her as a woman. It left me feeling like my very existence was bad because I wasn't able to force myself to the opposite end of the spectrum. I'm seeing alot of the same problems with my youngest daughter whose father is always telling her to be strong and tough and to never be emotional. School does it too "turn that frown upside down."
I look forward to the testimonials you will inspire that any of your audience learns from you the habits and characteristics that lead to a marriage with real men, not simps or males.
Or better, the testimonial of any man that decides to commit to a relationship with anyone among your audience.
if this ain't the dumbest.........
You would do well studying Esther Vilar's book "The Manipulated Man" (1971). Make sure you bring your mirror when you read it. You need a wake up call. Desperately.
And the failure to share the sources of the "studies" you are attempting to quote and disingenuous at best. The only way you will be seen as viable with this topic is if you are able to reach the other side in some way. I see you failing in spite of your even tempered speech and non expressive eyes.
She already did a video on how to vet men and not date men who have all the red flags. We should question their relatives (parents, friends) on their behavior. Did they help at their parent home with household chores. How do they talk about women, what they think about feminism and women’s rights. If they are misogynist and don’t put effort in helping with household chores, we reject them. Simple as that..
@@lovejunkie490 women can't seem to pragmatically apply principles that require analysis beyond their own attention spans. A single moment or interaction DOES NOT determine that ANYONE operates in that manner all of the time. It is COMMON KNOWLEDGE that most people will remember negative interactions faster and more frequently than good when giving third parties their "assessment" of said person, unless that person appeals to them in some way.
And when a man has a gripe that has left him scarred, women NEVER offer such men a "safe space" to express that discontent! ON PURPOSE!!!!!
Alternatively said, 'if you like him, you'll remember the good times you shared, not the time he disrespected you in front of your close family when you deserved it'.
Also alternatively, 'if he's not appealing to you in some way, you'll complain to others when he is trying to compliment you'.
Women are not the best temperature gauge with assessing people for relationships, which is why not many of you have dependable selection skills and FAR too often choose Chad, Pookie, Ray Ray, and Tyrone just to get pumped and dumped so you can play victim to everyone else.
@@wesley-keithmullings442 what you don’t understand is that we aren’t listening to men anymore. Because men lie all the time. They pretend to be good men but they are not. They mask! That’s why so many women end with players. That’s why many women advise to no longer to them, but ask their family, their friends, their colleagues, etc. That’s how women vet men nowadays. What you don’t understand is that once you disrespect a woman, she lives you because she won’t like you anymore. No matter the good time you spend together. You are right, people always remember the bad things other the good things for a reason. Example, if a man killed or rape someone but gave to charity, will you judge him based on him giving to charity or based on him killing or raping someone. Please make it make sense. That’s why I say most men are illogical while thinking they are the more logical ones. I know you are scared because women are waking up and don’t want to engage with men anymore. The gaslighting and lies don’t work on us anymore and we are not willing to settle for the bare minimum. We are vetting you and if we consider that there are more cons than pros, we are happily remaining single.
@the_yv_edit I would actually die if you made a video covering Batman - The Dark Knight 2008 and Furiosa 2024
Why is “The Patriarchy” skewed towards men when men are the ones sent off to die in wars and do the hardest jobs in society? If anything, women have been a favoured, protected class embodied by the call “women and children first” when a boat sinks.
There may have always been a few men at the top of a ruling class but the majority of men have always formed the base of the pyramid and gotten the short end of the stick. Women always got that comfy middle layer of the hierarchy.
Of course, you could always argue that in an age of equality, it’s women’s turn to be the cannon fodder in wars for the next couple of thousand years to help balance the scales?
Women and children are in the middle whos at the top sending males to fight for them? Who’s hoarding all of the worlds resources? Who’s trafficking women and children who are sooooo protected and pampered?
Men fight in the wars THEY start. Also, please stop watching romanticized movies like "Titanic" for your data lol
@@TARAdubbleyuu Blame men all you want but the fact is there will always be competition for resources and that will inevitably result in conflict regardless of whoever or whichever sex is “in control”. Women are just as malicious, competitive, destructive and grasping for resources as men are; a matriarchy wouldn’t be the empathic, nurturing utopia you believe it to be.
Ask yourself why there are so few matriarchal societies. At the base of every society is a core need to protect that society from invasion and stealing of resources by another tribe or at the national level, by another country. Can a matriarchal society defend itself from an invasion by a patriarchal society? Can a group of women, in an all out war against a group of men, where rules have gone out the window, protect themselves from those men. I would argue that’s highly unlikely. Women therefore, require rules in society to protect themselves and to be able to advance and those rules, ultimately, are enforced by the availability of men who are willing to sacrifice themselves to protect them.
Men have been willing to sacrifice themselves to protect women throughout history. There isn’t a lot of evidence for women doing the same for men. Children yes, women will sacrifice themselves for their children but rarely for their menfolk.
Also, you are aware that the Birkenhead Drill was a real thing aren’t you? It was perhaps romanticised in popular culture by the Titanic movie but the call itself was certainly a real thing and has been considered the ‘motto of the sea’ by the Boy Scouts of America Sea Scouts until very, very recently. Or are you suggesting it’s a myth? Lol
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@@TARAdubbleyuu Historically women rulers started war much more than male rulers. You lot needs to get out of feminist bubble to have any kind of realistic ideas.
@@spencerd8504 I guess that they kinda had to keep up with the world men force us all to live in.
All matriarchal societies have been destroyed by patriarchal ones because it seems like dudes just can’t live in peace. If you want to succeed in a position of leadership as a woman, you kinda have no other choice than to adapt to the people around you. It’s called living in a society and this one is patriarchal.
If you show weakness (or rather, what men see as weakness since they have no respect for peace, empathy, and cooperation, only violence, brutal strength and dick-size competitions) they’ll destroy you, take your place and enforce their system anyway.
I actually feel like I don't agree with everything you say. I must think about this more, because i think that every sex have its own energy. And this energy is in how we got our things done. For example, i dont think that woman in workplace is in her masculine energy. She just does the work that man used to do but in her own way. But it is true - society made this change very challenging and difficult for men.
Men made this change difficult for men.
06:10 you miss understand what masculinity and feminity is if you don't think that it's tied to specifically man and woman. Masculine/feminine is based on very real and very different biological attributes of men and woman primarily tied to the primary sex hormones of testosterone, estrogen/progesterone that underlines practically all of our behaviors.
Masculine and feminine aren't supposed to be "in the same person"... if you produce testosterone as men do, masculininty is the expression and representation of that. If you produce estrogen/progesterone with the potential to birth children(ovaries and eggs) as women do femininity is the expression and representation of that. This is specialization and is integral to the interdependence of the human species. You cannot claim the need for interdependence and then also claim that an indidivual is supposed to be both masculine and feminine.
Masculinity and femininity ARE exclusive (but not necessarily opposing) forces simply because of hormone productivity within men and women being so different. A man with what's considered unhealthy "low" testosterone would be dangerously high testosterone for a woman that develop into PCOS, infertility, and other bad things. Normal range of testosterone for women is from 15 to 70 ng/dL while for men it's 300 - 1200 ng/dL... the low end is over 4 times the HIGH end for women...
There's plenty of studies demonstrating the effects on behavior of these hormones.
Masculinity is the expression of the testosterone produced(in quantities) unique to men while femininity is the expression of the estrogen/progesterone (which determines menstruation cycle) unique to women.
The "problem men" of society come from demasculated and unmasculanized men(products of single mothers teaching them how to operate more femininely either directly or by example). Just look up the fatherless statistics. What you think is "toxic masculinity" is just the LACK of masculinity replaced by femininity trying to operate in a vessel full of testosterone.
Women are the harbingers of their own demise with these lies.
Language has been gendered for a long while ie masculine and feminine nouns
The patriarchy loves reductionism as a tool for control on top and ego inflation on the bottom
Ie the nuclear family is not normal but a product putting the final nails in the coffin of tribalism and actual traditional extended families
Nuclear family is great tho for isolating and controlling future generations
Hormones aren't the be all end all, they are of minimal impact besides placebo, even if they were - antagonistic sexual co evolution would set the need to evolve out of this hell created by man so foolish to think he is "gods image" and thus place himself as superior
I read recently a quote from antiquity - why God didnt just create all males thus would be perfect angelic forms
The delusion of man is the source of eugenics and crimes against nature via the supposed divine right to do whatever it takes to force his narrative
I'm guessing man would mandate hormone treatments for those falling outside his norms never realizing that nature and evolution are desperate to not end on his terms
Patriarchy are like the mating habits of sea lice - the females in that species avoid it all costs because it is a death sentence
The continuation of the species is not that important especially once we have become as parasites
Throat worms do nothing but breed and produce offspring, that suffocates the bird after stealing it's song
What is good and bad can hardly be determined by reproductive demand
Behaviors are tied to brain sex not sex hormones. however, since sex differences in human brains are basically non-existant (besides gender identity) so human behaviors is more influenced by our social surrounding then brain sex.
@@marvelous971-j6m Carl Jung was onto something with the archetypes and conscious vs unconscious manifestations
Social environment, the status quo, seems to be an apocalyptic projection of the collective shadow as we reach the "singularity" via technology
Remembering I've always held the consciousness of other animals with a sense of compassion that has often been ridiculed by my male peers - the empathy "problem"
And remembering what I've learned of what makes and animal species domesticated, that all these traits fit humans as well, and add to that the effects of "othering" plus dehumanizing, and my own subjective male understanding being one tho always as a shunned outsider (for expressing feminine, thus "negative" traits)
The need for status and social approval will uphold the most barbaric of tyranny, in the new age of globalization and high technology this will result in literally Hell on Earth
Seeing thousands of brainwashed males marching in perfect unison all exactly the same then adding the knowledge of genocides and mass forced "breeding" - that this is championed as good when its done by ones own people
There are monsters and demons hidden in every psyche but hegemonic man has done the utmost over the last 10,000 years to deny and project his faults onto any who expose them even if it merely be the crime of existence
Ever since leaving hunter gatherer tribes man has been determined to control all social factors and achieve apotheosis as a God head, even if it's the lowly soldier obeying the divine king with righteous sadism
Of course now this narcism infects all humanity as a whole, women for instance are quite cruel to one another - but still puppets to the social engineers
Actually we women are doing great we are not the ones about to "demise"
Men have the highest incarceration rates (not even close) and the highest suicide rates, while women are out performing men in education, home ownership, and life expectancy. So dont worry about us we are all good.
@@stucker3188 violence against women is increasing... women suicide rates are increasing... women mental illness rates are increasing... women homelessness is increasing... self medication and acoholism amongst women increasing...
Congratulations, you're now men.
Sure women are "out performing men in education" yet still don't fill in the *hard* work like STEM in any noticeable number...
Sure more women are "educated" but that also means they own 2/3 of the student loan debt...
women have *so* much power now yet are even less happy than ever before...
But sure, go ahead and think you're good.
I did have a boyfriend once that would buy me tampons. That was nice.
All this talk about opression and wounds is massivly hypocritical if you support abortion.
First mistake women have always worked. Smh feminist alert
We all have testosterone and it does influence our behavior. I think the level of different hormones is very important. Sorry but high testosterone levels result in certain behaviors and nuturing isn't one of them. Just saying. My advicce is be careful with men with male pattern baldness no matter what culture.
Actually, testosterone just amplifies pre existing behavior. Referencing Robert Sapolsky.
@19katsandcounting He was only addressing agression. There are other behaviors that are influenced by testosterone like nuturing and pleasure.
"...men statistically benefit at the cost of women's labor...health...experiences...and their time."
I have to head to the grocery store. I'll be sure to pray to God (who is a obviously a woman) and thank Her for creating all womankind and I'll also cogitate on the amazing contributions women have made to civilized society. I mean we wouldn't have roads, buildings, or really any infrastructure of any kind without women conceiving it in their collective mind-brain and then literally speaking it into existence. Thank you, ladies! Civilization would cease to exist and men would be truly lost without you all.
You can't explain how you feel to women because most of the time it just makes her mad. Women can't accept any accountability. It's too hard for her to believe she has done something wrong.
Most men walk in fear of their wifes for saying the wrong word could result in losing his house and kids. It's a horrible way to live. Much better to just date around. The sad part is a good guy gets treated worse by a woman than some player who is just looking for fun. Being a good guy is the worst!
No one forced those men to choose those horrible women. Choose better
Patriarchy doesn't really seem to benefit men more than women
For example, when you see reported happiness for men and women in different regions in the world, women report being happier than men in palces that are very patriarchal, but places that are considered feminist, those places have men and women report about the same happiness and for the adolescents, females report lower happiness than males
Data, sir? My guess is that the social safety net in most economically comparable countries is more intact than in the US. Child care, PTO, maternity AND paternity leave, universal healthcare, etc...which would lead to less stress for all and higher reported levels of "happiness" (even in your factless examples, i.e.- "different regions of the world", "places that are very patriarchal").
@@TARAdubbleyuu
The gender gap in adolescent mental health: A cross-national investigation of 566,829 adolescents across 73 countries
The above is the title of a study about adolescent mental health and life satisfaction.
You can also check the happiness report and the gender gap in different places. They found that the gender gap is bigger in more patriarchal societies (women being happier than men).
I'll be honest, not listening to the video. Just gonna comment on the title.
Anything that may be said about masculinity being a myth would also imply that the equal and opposite in feminity is also a myth.
Then you wasted your time on this comment. She addresses this in the video.
Men like you are what is wrong with everything. You're the type that builds simple IKEA furniture twice lol
Walk a mile in the average mans shoes,
Yeah...performative masculinity must be tough. Having to be man enough not to be bullied and made fun of by other men all the time...that must suck.
Omg congrats on 2K!! That was very quick 🫶🏾 glad you started YT
Looking back that last video blew up!
Men are needed in war. When it comes to a country that’s going through strife, we need strong and aggressive protectors. That is where the image comes from and depends on the situation it is very important. In a time of peace it’s not needed but we mustn’t let men become soft and unprepared because war can come at any time
With the advent of advanced weaponry, women can fight in wars now. So don't worry about it. Women are as capable of aggression and warfare as men. A knife doesn't care who wields it - it can cut just the same. The cannon doesn't care about the sex of it's operator, so does the gun.
Men should be freed from their enslavement under patriarchy. Men are human beings, not war fodder. Men have the right to be treated like humans too, they have the right to be comfortable, to express themselves, to be hygienic and preserve their health, and to be affectionate without being judged as ghey.
Ooga booga
@@Lyagani that’s what it comes down too
How about we grow up and stop fighting.
Men cause war to fight other men over their male ideologies
36:15 women don't depend on their men for emotional support. True. That's the point. Women look for other things that men specialize in such as stability and safety. You claim to desire interdependence but how is that possible when both are looking for the same things from each other? You don't get someone that's the same as you. You find someone that compliments you. THAT is interdependence.
Women get their emotional support from other women, men get their stability and safety from other men. You don't see men complaining about not being able to depend on their women to protect them and provide a safe environment. But you do see men complaining about women not being a source of stability (i.e. divorce initiation statistics, paternity fraud, infidelity).
The problem is that women are lacking in building of their emotional support systems(women only pretend to like each other) and are now expecting their men to pick up the slack.
It's not just women that have this problem, though. Men are lacking the "brotherhood" gotten from other men due to becoming more isolated and lacking of "men spaces" due to the effort to include women in everything.
Are you sure men get safety and stability from other men?
Men don’t even like other men. They also choose the bear because they also are rightfully terrified of other men.
Men are having their whole loneliness crisis because they make abysmal friends to everyone, including each other.
Men destroy a sense of safety in nearly every life they touch as they go about their every day. This is why men are suffering and women are avoiding them. This logic evades them entirely so they just blame everyone else.
Men are the reason nothing in this reality can experience safety, including themselves.
Sounds like we need to go our separate ways and only come together for mating purposes.
It’s the same way we benefit by having kids. It’s disgusting. The flesh’s desires is what creates our suffering
Ayuaschsa helps men reach their feminine energy. Of which we need more right now.
You are a cutie but United we stand divided we fall, strong Independent women, United we stand divided we fall, strong independent women.
The problem is corruption, not each other. We need each other to be healthy and whole without heavy shadows bonding together to climb the hierarchy of needs so we may reach truth, justice, and self actualization so we can fight for our people's and overthrow corruption for the people we love.
Or we can be divided amongst ourselves and pay 17 dollars for a quart of milk. Your choice.
Peace.
Were you too dumb to understand the video?
Ok. And what about you do half of the chores, treat women respectfully, do not use them, do your share of the childcare, and stop acting as if some places belong only to men? Also, could you leave us alone when we want to get an abortion and stop sexualizing us at every turn? Or trying to control how we dress, how we should behave?
2.22k subs
I'm usually more likely to step up than men. I seriosly dislike the words "feminine" and "masculine. They are so limiting. 😢
Step up to what exactly?
@@wingnut71 Doubt it's anything physical in extreme temperatures outside
@@wingnut71 step up to people harming the weak.
@@littlelizzymamaliz Hmm. Who is weaker than the unborn? Feminists love abortion. 70 million babies murdered in the womb in the USA since 1973.
Men even fail upwards
Society needs an equal circular balance between individual, communal, collecticve. Society isnt linear.
Love your channel and your data informed observations. Another great video, spread the gospel!!
Love thiisss🎉🎉❤
You know, I really want to encourage you to read some evolutionary psychology. You are stuck in standard feminist rhetoric. "The patriarchy" is an ideological construct. It is blinding you to the functionality of most of the stuff you are talking about. Consider the following question: What role does female sexual preference have on male behavior? What role does hypergamy have in incentivizing male behavior? What do men actually say about why they do what they do? To what degree is this a feature of male disposability? These questions are frequently not permitted in feminist circles. Why is that? Your analysis of masculinity is that it is a dysfunctional social consequence of the patriarchy (whatever that is). How does all this help men, help women and help society? If the answer is "it doesn't" then you are missing something.
I'm someone who has read that stuff, been a men's rights activist for 5 years and yet I realise the feminists are correct on some of this
@@nattykadifa2856 Sure. This is how ideologies work - they start with genuine insights and truths, then they form political coalitions and identarian groups. These groups react with moral outrage and vociferously deny any data that challenges their base assumptions, and they engage in character assassination of anyone who disagrees. The reason I encourage these readings is not because she's "wrong" per-se, but because she is operating out of standard feminist rhetorical thinking, and seems to be unaware of her ideological blind spots. But sure. Some if this is spot on. Mostly I think she get's her framing wrong. This is why she comes to the weird conclusion that men are "parasitic," even while she post this on tech that was mostly made, and maintained by men. Blind spots.
Salutations Paul.
Could you explain why men aren’t parasitical in nature?
@@ConnieSaysNope Sure, "parasitical" is an all-or-nothing descriptor. The reality is more complicated. I haven’t read the study you site, so I don’t know how well it was constructed or anything. In any case, let's look at some confounding variables and then we’ll look at some counter points.
Confounding variables - does the study only look at married women, & men or does it look at divorced women and men as well? It may be that divorced men die much earlier because women have taken all their wealth in divorce for example. What about children? It’s possible that women’s life spans are shortened because they had kids and these kids shortened their lives, simply because childbirth is hard on the body. Your single statistic is too broad brush to draw the conclusions you draw.
Counter Points - men do most of the dangerous work in this culture, including the work that maintains the infrastructure you are making this video on. We built the home you are living in, and we built the social institutions that protect your civil rights. We also invented most of the technology that you rely on, and grow your food. Finally we pay more in taxes than we take out of welfare, while women do the opposite. What parasite can say all that?
Civilization is basically a bargain made between men and women. We create civilization, and you give us access to your wombs. The fact that most of the work we do in this bargain is outside of your awareness doesn’t make us parasites. We are your partners, not your predators. You really need to stop listening to angry traumatized gender studies professors, who hate ½ of the world’s population. Any ideology that divides men and women is toxic.
Whoa. I wish I am as intelligent as you. Great points and deep thoughts!
Thanks!
omg Mady thank you so much, that’s so kind!!! 💗✨🥹
@@yv_edit Thank you! Your videos are so helpful understand what is happening to us as women who have built our whole life on patriarchal fairytales. You are speaking so eloquently on things that have been just scattered thoughts and observations in my mind throughout the years.
It seems rather presumptuous of you to claim certain things are 'feminine' when, in reality, they are neither 'feminine' nor 'masculine'.
Any population where women get fewer than 2.1 children on average shrinks towards zero. For the US, this number is 1.6. One way or another, this status quo is going to change and replace it for a setting in which women have over 2.1 children again. In most countries where this is the case, this does not pan out well for women.
"So let the galaxy burn"
Niger, Congo, Somalia, they all have a 6 children per woman. They're treated like cattle. That's the prospect of any society that can't sustain itself.
I don’t think we care to be honest. Be better partners, and we’ll rethink that.