Oh man, nailed it with the "why" of insecurity. I grew up with a gabber who had a hard time letting me share the stage, so I internalized that as me not having anything worthy to say. Now I'm either too brief (often without conciseness) because I feel like I don't deserve to be listened to, or I overcompensate my lack of conciseness by throwing in extra words and ideas that just muddy my point.
Timestamps: 0:45 Tip #1: Long-windedness is a key enemy of good communication 1:25 Strategy #1: Resolve why you sometimes talk too much 3:23 Strategy #2: Gauge your Long-windedness 3:53 Strategy #3: Commit to conciseness
I want to say thank you so much for these videos. Not only have you taught me communication skills I should have already learned, you unexpectedly helped focus my attention while reading! I pick out the main points better and my speed and compression is much improved. Thank you, doctor. You made a difference in me!
Hi, Ivalina. If you're not long-winded, that's a great start. So, quiet can be helpful but speaking up in professional settings is an expectation. Getting out point of view out there and adding value is important. The lessons after this one in the sequence look at how to effectively communicate when you do speak up.
These are really useful tips. Nothing beats clear communication. This is because the real essence of communication is to send a message across in a clear manner.
I only get talkative when speaking to one of my managers about a problem or trying to explain something. Thinking that i’m adding value. I’m consciously trying to catch myself doing it tho.
Having lived in Italy for decades, their national pride, one of them is to be able to just talk. The longer the better. Now am back into the International scene, I need to learn now to concise back again lol
Todos somos extraños. Todos estamos luchando por aprender unos de otros. Si conoces a tantas personas a las que les resulta extraño tu acento, debes demostrarles cuánto te esfuerzas e intentas aprender a comunicarte con ellos. Entonces, no eres tú quien es extraño. Pero su actitud muestra una falta de aprecio y comprensión. Usted no es el que necesita cambiar, está trabajando duro y merece muchos elogios. Yo mismo estudio "Español" e "Inglés", y sé muy poco todavía, pero no me importan ni me preocupan comentarios como ese. Mi idioma es portugués-brasileño y sigo estudiando portugués, porque nadie lo sabe todo. Estudio cuatro idiomas. Y si un dia alguien viene a burlarse de mí, no hablo su idioma correctamente, le preguntaré si sabe todo tu idioma, cuántos idiomas hablas y si sabes algo del mío. Vaya, estoy luchando por aprender su idioma. Felicitaciones a ti por intentarlo. Soy Dorgival Dantas Brito, 49 años, Músico, Cantante y Compositor, Brasileño. Vivo en São Paulo. ========================== We are all strangers. We are all struggling to learn from each other. If you know so many people who find your accent strange, you need to show them how hard you are trying and trying to learn to communicate with them. So, it is not you who is strange. But their attitude shows a lack of appreciation and understanding. You are not the one who needs to change - you are working hard and deserve much praise. I study "Español" and "Inglés" myself, and I know very little yet, but I don't care or worry about comments like that. My Languages is Portuguese-Brazil, and I continue to study Portuguese, because, nobody knows everything. I study four languages. And if, one day, someone comes to make fun of me, I don't speak their language correctly, I will ask if he or she knows all of your language, how many languages do you speak and if you know anything about mine? Why, I'm struggling to learn her language. Congratulations to you that you are trying. I am Dorgival Dantas Brito, 49 years old, Musician, Singer and Composer, Brazilian. I live in Sao Paulo.
The reasons for my inability to be concise seem to be rooted in that as soon as I begin my thought process, it will uncontrollably keep opening and throwing more detailed information that, if I don't include, will cause me to lose my point entirely. In written communication it isn't a problem necessarily but when speaking one on one I'm either unbelievably tangential or even worse, words come out at times several seconds in between. Any tips for that kind of information overload? Maybe some sort of organizational technique?
Excellent video series. Long-windedness is affecting me in behavioural situations...i.e "Tell me a time when you had to make a decision without much information, what was the impact, how did you manage expectations"....I would go on an on....also, how to concisely response when challenged by someone or a group? Is it a learnable skill or people just born with it?
@@alexanderlyon Thank YOU for such a useful video. I really find i so helpful and inspiring. Maybe I cant solve my root problem but anyway I can improvve.
Getting at the root is the very best way to improve over the long run. But, still, practicing the tips in this series will still help even if you don't immediately resolve the underlying issue. Practicing good habits still make a big difference.
sandra villecco urs I have this too I think I talking too much because I want to get the words out and I think part of that is because I want to get things out
I think I feel the need to provide as much information surrounded a topic I’m passionate about, to REALLY make my point across. But I end up adding too much filler information.
Hi, Alex. Yes, I've heard people say the same before. We get excited and passionate and we want to give the listeners everything we have to offer. It's very tempting!
Hello! I am late to the party, but thank you so much for these videos. I do have a question. When talking to my kids, I tend to repeat what I say, not like I forgot that I told them, but because I want to make sure that they understand the message. I suppose that this is also part of the long-winded problem?
Hi Jeremy. Could be an issue of being long-winded. Sometimes, I repeat myself to my son and the reason I noticed is that he hasn't yet signaled that he has heard me and understood me. So, I usually ask politely for eye contact and acknowledgement of my message when I'm saying something important.
Everything you have presented were geared towards an individual’s false perception of self, but NOTHING towards alternative reasons, I.e., inability to properly phrase the matter at hand.
Try a Free short course in Essential Professional Communication Skills: www.alexanderlyon.com/free-resources
Oh man, nailed it with the "why" of insecurity. I grew up with a gabber who had a hard time letting me share the stage, so I internalized that as me not having anything worthy to say. Now I'm either too brief (often without conciseness) because I feel like I don't deserve to be listened to, or I overcompensate my lack of conciseness by throwing in extra words and ideas that just muddy my point.
Thanks for sharing, Kaila.
Timestamps:
0:45 Tip #1: Long-windedness is a key enemy of good communication
1:25 Strategy #1: Resolve why you sometimes talk too much
3:23 Strategy #2: Gauge your Long-windedness
3:53 Strategy #3: Commit to conciseness
This is great! Love your point of not thinking out loud. This really connected with me
I want to say thank you so much for these videos. Not only have you taught me communication skills I should have already learned, you unexpectedly helped focus my attention while reading! I pick out the main points better and my speed and compression is much improved. Thank you, doctor. You made a difference in me!
Thank you for the kind words. I'm glad the videos helped you.
Definitely Not Long Winded and Definitely not a Gossip Person I'm usually Quiet. Excellent!!
Hi, Ivalina. If you're not long-winded, that's a great start. So, quiet can be helpful but speaking up in professional settings is an expectation. Getting out point of view out there and adding value is important. The lessons after this one in the sequence look at how to effectively communicate when you do speak up.
These are really useful tips. Nothing beats clear communication. This is because the real essence of communication is to send a message across in a clear manner.
I only get talkative when speaking to one of my managers about a problem or trying to explain something. Thinking that i’m adding value. I’m consciously trying to catch myself doing it tho.
I am long winded because I believe others can't understand what I'm saying. I over explain.
Interesting insight! Thank you for sharing.
Literally me. It's my insecurity
I do the same thing. I don’t like being miss represented
I'm learning to explain things briefly, in "individualized" ways that particular person identifies with. The latter being more important.
@@johnlewis8934 that guilty conscience haha
Thank you.so much for posting this course. I am a horrible communicator.
This is really insightful! I can’t believe how much I’ve realized from watching this short video! Thank you
Glad it was helpful.
@@alexanderlyon it truly was. Thank you
Having lived in Italy for decades, their national pride, one of them is to be able to just talk. The longer the better. Now am back into the International scene, I need to learn now to concise back again lol
Interesting point of view. Thanks for sharing, Meta.
Todos somos extraños. Todos estamos luchando por aprender unos de otros. Si conoces a tantas personas a las que les resulta extraño tu acento, debes demostrarles cuánto te esfuerzas e intentas aprender a comunicarte con ellos.
Entonces, no eres tú quien es extraño. Pero su actitud muestra una falta de aprecio y comprensión. Usted no es el que necesita cambiar, está trabajando duro y merece muchos elogios. Yo mismo estudio "Español" e "Inglés", y sé muy poco todavía, pero no me importan ni me preocupan comentarios como ese.
Mi idioma es portugués-brasileño y sigo estudiando portugués, porque nadie lo sabe todo. Estudio cuatro idiomas. Y si un dia
alguien viene a burlarse de mí, no hablo su idioma correctamente, le preguntaré si sabe todo tu idioma, cuántos idiomas hablas y si sabes algo del mío. Vaya, estoy luchando por aprender su idioma.
Felicitaciones a ti por intentarlo.
Soy Dorgival Dantas Brito, 49 años, Músico, Cantante y Compositor, Brasileño. Vivo en São Paulo.
==========================
We are all strangers. We are all struggling to learn from each other. If you know so many people who find your accent strange, you need to show them how hard you are trying and trying to learn to communicate with them.
So, it is not you who is strange. But their attitude shows a lack of appreciation and understanding. You are not the one who needs to change - you are working hard and deserve much praise. I study "Español" and "Inglés" myself, and I know very little yet, but I don't care or worry about comments like that.
My Languages is Portuguese-Brazil, and I continue to study Portuguese, because, nobody knows everything. I study four languages. And if, one day,
someone comes to make fun of me, I don't speak their language correctly, I will ask if he or she knows all of your language, how many languages do you speak and if you know anything about mine? Why, I'm struggling to learn her language.
Congratulations to you that you are trying.
I am Dorgival Dantas Brito, 49 years old, Musician, Singer and Composer, Brazilian. I live in Sao Paulo.
The reasons for my inability to be concise seem to be rooted in that as soon as I begin my thought process, it will uncontrollably keep opening and throwing more detailed information that, if I don't include, will cause me to lose my point entirely. In written communication it isn't a problem necessarily but when speaking one on one I'm either unbelievably tangential or even worse, words come out at times several seconds in between. Any tips for that kind of information overload? Maybe some sort of organizational technique?
Hi, Carlos. The next two videos in the series help to edit our messages to make them more concise.
Great job Alex. Really enjoy your videos. Thank you!
You always make things clear and concise.
This is so great…Thank you so much. It’s so helpful and useful.
Excellent video series.
Long-windedness is affecting me in behavioural situations...i.e "Tell me a time when you had to make a decision without much information, what was the impact, how did you manage expectations"....I would go on an on....also, how to concisely response when challenged by someone or a group? Is it a learnable skill or people just born with it?
Good examples. It's a learnable skill like most things. No doubt. I've seen many people get better with practice.
"My reason" is none of the above: just mental disorganization, a disability in ordering my thoughts qwickly before I speak.
Thanks for the example, Sandra.
@@alexanderlyon Thank YOU for such a useful video. I really find i so helpful and inspiring. Maybe I cant solve my root problem but anyway I can improvve.
Getting at the root is the very best way to improve over the long run. But, still, practicing the tips in this series will still help even if you don't immediately resolve the underlying issue. Practicing good habits still make a big difference.
I think I have this too.
sandra villecco urs I have this too I think I talking too much because I want to get the words out and I think part of that is because I want to get things out
This is very useful information. Thank you👌
THANK you. This was helpful. The penultimate slide might have a misspelling: longwindedness? Best to you, and I'll continue listening.
Glad it was helpful, Edward. Unfortunately, once a video is posted, I can't fix misspellings on it. Wish I could.
Good advise, thanks, I think I do this a little I'm gonna work on thinking more before I speak.
Thank you. That's so helpful
I'm really enjoying your videos especially the breakdown of famous people speeches. Can you please make more of those?
Thanks, Amber. I have breakdowns planned.
Good video.
I'm most long-winded when I'm talking to my wife. Guilty as charged but she's a great listener. When are you most likely to be long-winded?
Communication Skills When I'm talking to my partner for sure
I hear you. Me, too.
definitely when I'm nervous or out of my mind
What's a 1-to-10 scale meant to indicate? Without a point reference, it's hard for me to place myself.
My reasons for not being concise:
1. Insecurity
2. Self-centeredness
3. Like the airtime and attention
4. Mistake talking for adding value
Great stuff
Thank you for this lesaon
I think I feel the need to provide as much information surrounded a topic I’m passionate about, to REALLY make my point across. But I end up adding too much filler information.
Hi, Alex. Yes, I've heard people say the same before. We get excited and passionate and we want to give the listeners everything we have to offer. It's very tempting!
thank you
Hello! I am late to the party, but thank you so much for these videos. I do have a question. When talking to my kids, I tend to repeat what I say, not like I forgot that I told them, but because I want to make sure that they understand the message. I suppose that this is also part of the long-winded problem?
Hi Jeremy. Could be an issue of being long-winded. Sometimes, I repeat myself to my son and the reason I noticed is that he hasn't yet signaled that he has heard me and understood me. So, I usually ask politely for eye contact and acknowledgement of my message when I'm saying something important.
Awesome
I am long winded because I don’t want to leave any room for assumptions
I get it...so... don’t talk too much? as in...too “wordy.” To the point where the message is already conveyed and the rest is unnecessary?
I’m long winded because I think every detail is important 🤣
Oh! How beautiful eyes!
I know someone named Alexzander Lyon, same as you, except add a 'z'.
Ah, cool.
All of the above 😢
Everything you have presented were geared towards an individual’s false perception of self, but NOTHING towards alternative reasons, I.e., inability to properly phrase the matter at hand.
TL;DR seriously, SEVEN parts on how to be concise.
☹️
I mistakenly thought it was good communication 🤦
*cuhmewnicashun*
I hate having to listen to a long winded person !!! It’s not engaging at all and causes irritation !!!
I hear you, Zahra.
I'm so sorry in advance