I live in Florida & our central ac went out over a week ago but we have a window unit in master bedroom & a portable unit in another room. The thermostat hit high 80s in the main area. Getting quotes now but everyone is busy so slow response. We’re getting along just fine for now.
When I was a Christian, my newborn baby died while my husband was in a mental health hospital. The most devout Christians were the most unsupportive. My husband was blamed for his mental health issues and for the death of our child. When I tried talking to my church "family" I was dismissively told to pray and read the Bible more. But reading the Bible only made me feel worse! I was told that I was depressed because I lacked faith and hope in Christ. Conversely, my agnostic and athiest friends actually listened to me and told me it was ok to be depressed. They mourned with me and showed compassion and empathy for me and my husband. I did not "lose" my Christian faith. I painstakingly freed myself from the bondage of it! I am so much happier without it!
Unfortunately those were false Christians. You really don't need the Bible to know that isn't a conclusion they should have drawn about you or your husband or your newborn child. Sounds like that church was *FULL* of masquerading narcissists. I'm sorry for what you experienced from them!
For every story with a scenario like this, there are hundreds that are the opposite. Not only that, but the story is ‘fishy’. Agnostic and atheist FRIENDS? That might have something to do with it - why don’t you tell the WHOLE story?
I was miserable as a Christian... it was a living hell! I constantly walked around in fear, depression, and anxiety every day ending up with suicide attempts and in psych hospital's numerous times. The devil was out to get me and if I breathed the wrong way I was going to hell! Deconstructing was a slow and difficult process and went through it totally alone. That was 25 years ago and at that time I didn't have internet although there weren't any Atheist channels anyways so it was very difficult but through intense therapy and deprogramming, little by little I got better and the fear and depression left me. When that happened it was AWESOME! It was like a million tons was lifted off my back! I was finally FREE INDEED from the bondage and Christian slavery...I was released from the shackles that were wrapped around my mind that held me captive in lies, deception, fear, and confusion and insane thought processes...I was FREE from the insanity of Christianity and was able to see and think clearly but it was a lot of work with all the extensive research and studying of the bible and religion in order to gain that freedom...I hungered after REAL TRUTH when the cognitive dissonance left me. I can honestly say that I'm the happiest I've ever been having peace, joy, and contentment in my life...yes I'm FREE INDEED but yes I still have my struggles because it's life on life's terms and we can still get through it and live a good life because I know god isn't punishing me and Satan isn't out to get me!😊😊😊 Thank you Kristi... great content and insight.🌹🌹🌹
@@RocketKirchner Except there is nothing to confirm about atheism. Not believing in something is not a positive claim. So equating it to something like christianity, which throws out unsubstantiated positive claims like candy on Halloween is disingenuous at best. Atheist "group think" is "Please produce evidence for your claims. Otherwise bugger off".
This gives me so much HOPE. You sounded just like me. I had such fear and anxiety and thought the devil was out to get me at every breath I took. Most of that fear has gone since I stopped attending church 15 yrs ago, but there are still a lot of things I need to unpack. like fear of hell and bad things will happen to you if you redefine your spiritual walk - oh, wait. I like that. I'm calling it "redefining my spiritual walk." I've always hungered for the REAL TRUTH. I'm trying to find the source of my anxiety and fear and I think it's largely been fed by Christian indoctrination. Man, this is hard.
@@RocketKirchner you’re pushing that an atheist has beliefs the same way Xians have beliefs. you’re doing nothing BUT employing false equivalency….a favorite Xian tactic.
I asked my wife if she thought I became an atheist because I wanted to sin. She simply said, "no." Oddly, I try harder to not do bad after becoming an atheist, than when I was a Christian.
You don't have an imaginary saviour who will forgive your transgressions anymore. Crossing someone means you have to ask for forgiveness from a real, living being instead of a spirit in the sky. That's why secular humanist morality will always be superior to theistic morality, which can just ignore wrongdoings on earth.
That makes sense. If one believes they will be forgiven for anything they do, why not do it? The other way makes sense as well - if there is no final judgement, why not do it? Humans are great at rationalizing. A person really chooses to be "good" (mental health issues aside) from within themselves whether theist or atheist. They are "good" because it's the "right" thing to do whether God says so or whether they've come to that conclusion on their own through reason.
@@LouisGiliberto This is why so many end up killing their children, they believe they will simply ask for forgiveness and they BELIEVE they are forgiven! Induced psychosis.
@@tiredofliars I don't know if there's any statistical argument for "so many" in this category, but for sure some. We humans can rationalize all kinds of crazy, weird, and evil stuff. If we want a "reason" (i.e., excuse) for doing something, we're sure to be able to dig one up. Just ask any 12 year old why they didn't finish their homework, lol.
Integrity is doing the right thing even no one is watching. I used to only do good deeds because I thought God was watching me so to do good things just to be a good person is much more fulfilling 💕
I've been telling friends that becoming an atheist didn't "fix" or "cure" my depression. But it's helped a lot, and the tools I gained from leaving Christianity has helped me better deal with my mental health issues.
That's one of the harms of religion in my opinion. It robs you of the coping mechanisms you would otherwise develop and replaces them with god. Once you leave that cult, you have to build something you should've learned as a child from scratch.
Yes they act like god cures it, im like yall know thats a lie. Tht shit did nothing but have me feel i wasnt doin enough. I was virgin n everything n was hating myself what else. I was like its cuz ive always loved lgbtq n dont hate em like im supposed to. And that i liked women myself n had hormones. I would tell people god saved me but i hated givin it power tht i know was me. Now as an athiest i still struggle with mental health, but its doable and im in reality n true love❤ self love
@@bmoe4609 I know what you mean, I'm bi, so I have to work on self love too. Sadly, I don't think you have to be LGBTQ+ to have learned from religion not to love yourself, but it certainly doesn't help.
Combine unpacking Christian indoctrination and redefining your spiritual walk while your husband is fighting cancer and I will tell you.... THIS IS NOT EASY. I've asked myself if this is the right time to be unpacking, but this process started before my husband's diagnosis and I cannot stop it. I have to see it through so this video was SO VERY TIMELY and muchly needed. THANK YOU, Kristi!
I am so sorry to hear what you and your husband are going through. I know it can't be easy. Especially while unpacking religious indoctrination. Deepest wishes for peace and healing for you both during this time ❤️
I would suggest to you that leaving Christianity behind is not leaving spiritual help behind. On the contrary: you get the choice and responsibility of having your own relationship with the power that runs the universe -- a much bigger and more harmonious power than humans can imagine in their religions and gods. I know this is different from what Kristi says, but to me it looks also as if she's making her own spiritual connection. You can too, and the deconstructing is PART of that, not at war with that or stopping that.
One of the things I've always despised about religion, particularly fundamentalist religion, is the negative effect it has on self-worth. I have a female acquaintance whom I've known for about seven years who's had a lot of terrible things happen to her throughout her life, and because she grew up in a strict religious environment, first Mormon and now Methodist, she's convinced herself that all those horrible things she's endured are God's punishment for being a horrible person.
@@ChrisSmith-xh9wb "The bIble tell us that we are worth so much to god" Isaiah 64 6 "But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away." Romans 3:10 “As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one:" The "righteousness as filthy rags" is grossly offensive and very irresponsible. Basically, it's saying that your god has so little discernment that it can't tell the difference between someone who lives their whole life helping others, and then dies while trying to save some children (but doesn't believe in the biblical bullshit, so goes to an eternal Hell), from someone who buggers children on a daily basis and is generally utterly selfish (but believes in god, repents at the end and so goes to Heaven). I was never a great fan of the human race, even as a little kid, but the Stockholm Syndromesque behaviour I saw in church nauseated me (that was before the eponymous incident). in fact the bible was anathema to me right from the start, virtually everything was just sickening.
Kristi, I'm glad you've entered this space. A lot of the atheboiz in this space keep to the rationality and science and apologist reactions, and all of that. Which is certainly needful, don't get me wrong. It's great that you've addressed the emotional and social aspects of deconversion. The trauma "life cycle" of deconversion needs more attention. REconstruction needs the same focus, if not more, as DEconstruction.
Thanks so much for the kind words. And I agree- the emotional aspects of leaving the faith should be discussed more. Especially considering the church loves to disregard emotions and feelings as "of the flesh". Spirituality is an emotional experience. And the rationality and science are super helpful for overcoming bad beliefs, but the emotional work is just as important (if not more).
Loved this video. Coming from an Evangelical background with a very strong evangelical family, i can relate to everything you shared. Stay strong and stay true to yourself.
When one is doing well as a believer they say god is blessing you, when you not doing so well you sinned and god is angry with you. When you leave and you do well they say satan is looking after his own and if you not doing so well then they say the reason again is because you walked away from god. Just can't win.....just live life to the best of your abilities
What did it for me (as a teenage UK evangelical...now 57) was having a pastor who condemmed me for asking too many questions and actually expelled me from my church. It later turned out that he was having an affair at the same time that he expelled me from church. I was having a few unanswered questions about my faith.... He was shagging around behind his wife's back. Said it all and I walked away....
Seen similar in the group of churches I was involved in many years ago. One of the very popular leaders was shagging another church leader for many many years and were discovered.... both their spouses were also in the same church. Hilarious. I'm not talking they got a bit drunk and carried away on a trip... I mean many years of outright deceit of everyone around them. But yeah... I'm an atheist now because I want to sin according to some.
Gosh, that was a tough video to watch 😢. I too used to suffer terribly from anxiety and depression. Ironically, it became a lot better after I deconverted. And yes, the Church is totally clueless when it comes to dealing with mental health issues.
The problem with the religion is that you are always either blame for everything or you are facing something with supernaturals powers that make you powerless against and you are unable to help yourself and only god can help you, but the trick is God never help you, you can do like I did praying for years to be a better believer, but nothing I was feeling guilty every single day because I felt like I never was good enough and God didn't helped me to be better for him until one day I just got enough I decide to stop and to be honest was good, I felt free for the first time in my life.
Lost my faith a couple years ago. It was like losing a loved one. I was devastated and mourned for a while. I went through most of the stages of grief. I’m at acceptance but that type of grief when you were so invested is ongoing and changing. Losing faith and finding it’s not true is like losing someone that you loved and thought loved you. But an extra layer on top of finding out that person was never real. Not only grief but you question your whole life and have to grieve that too. But I’d rather live in reality and truth than a lie.
I was just talking about this transition of mourning, losing who I thought was my best friend. It’s sad, while simultaneously freeing me from all the damage. I liken it to becoming “sober” for the first time.
My deconstruction happened 20-22 years ago and to this day I still have areas of my life that are affected by the indoctrination of religion. I developed a terrible shame for experiencing sexual attraction which then developed into a fear of intimacy. Just to name one of a few. Religion can cause massive amounts of damage and for some, recovery will have to be a journey rather than a goal. The sooner you escape, the better
@@marinacitronova8604I really don't think marriage is an option for people with a fear of intimacy. Logically, no one is going to subject themselves to a partner who uncontrollably shakes when you touch them.
This is why I find religion so problematic. I was SA by a family member and my mother thinks it happened because she ignored the spiritual war that was going on. She thinks it's _her_ fault but then at the same time she recognizes god was there and he didn't do anything about it because *_"he can do as he pleases with us"_* . Not only does religion affect her mind but she doesn't recognize the emotional abuse she inflicts on me with it. I'm glad I became an atheist, because I can't imagine how damaging that is to a Christian. That god can do as he pleases with us, including letting someone SA you.
Yup, the more I review the bible, the more I see the Abrahamic god as a god made in the image of an abusive man. And frequently, abusive men are idolized in religious circles. We're used to that pattern and see it as "leadership". As you say, damaging.
Imagine being a survivor of SA and then someone tells you God is in control. If he was in control then why didn’t he stop it? “He is going to use your pain for his glory”… I don’t know how to feel about that because it’s still pain and it shouldn’t have happened…
IF I were god, it wouldn't bother me if people came out of their houses, cursed my name every morning, and went off to worship a small, blue, porcelain hippo, just as long as they were nice to each other and other animals. But then again, I'm not a mythical deity, made up by people who were desperate for others to believe in it. Furthermore, I would feel that I would have what we all have in Law towards each other, a *Duty of Care* towards any sentient beings that I created. All this, "oh, god created us, so it can do what it likes with us", is yet more sycophantic, damaging, Stockholm Syndromesque, sickening nonsense! Where is the *Duty of Care* mentioned in the bible?
@@pineapplepenumbra I don’t like that sentiment where “He created us so He can do whatever He wants with us”. Like we have feelings? What about our mental health? But it’s okay if we go through horrible trauma because it is all for His glory. 🫠🙃
I'm pretty far in my deconstruction (15 years-ish) but stuff is coming up recently that is teaching me new ways i need to heal - mostly in relationship with the people i call my parents. having parents that love you but also have a delusion that you're going to burn in hell x forever is so weird. It's like they're not BAD people but their belief and view of the world is so problematic. sometimes I feel pity and compassion for them... but mostly I just dont want to see them. every time I see my parents lately I just cry after because they don't love me in the ways i need. Currently in the midst of deciding how to deal with this and your videos are helping by giving me confidence and security. thanks Kristi, hope your Ac gets fixed soon, I'd die !
Bro, i know it can be tough and i kinda relate to what your going through (my mom is super religious), but you shouldnt feel bad about it, if they dont love you anymore or show less love to you just because you legitimately and honestly think or believe certain way, even if you are not doing any harm to anyone with that, then they are wrong, not you. Be patient and keep loving them the same way tho, you were in their shoes before so you know how poisonous and entrapping religion can be, they are just victims of that poison.
@@vlastermaster the problem is they STILL love me haha but they don't love who I am. I feel like it's a weird Stockholm syndrome cause I'm still here kind of defending them.
Ex Jehova's witness here. I have come out of the church a few years ago and I still feel the impact it had on my life. And it wasn't a good one. There was so much I could have done if it wasn't for them pushing me back. Not to tell the psychological and why not the social part of it. It is still a bit hard for me to socialise because all I knew was to be in the church Thanks for being our voice. I wish I was as good with words as you
There are some good ex-JW channels around on TH-cam. Lloyd Evans is one. The fellow has serious scandal surrounding himself, but a lot of his content seems good. The Truth Hurts is another.
Romans 1 28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; 29 Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, 30 Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, 31 Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful: 32 Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.
@@fender97 Why are you quoting that insane, vile, damaging, manipulative, infantile bullshit? Do you think that it will win you back any converts to your foul, immoral, illogical, foundationless belief system? You are the unrighteousness, wicked, covetous, malicious, deceitful, malign; whispering, backbiting, hateful, proud, -inventor- repeater of evil things, without understanding, without natural affection, unmerciful, and it is YOU who INSULT any God, or Gods that _might_ (unlikely though it sounds) exist.
@orkhaa-rh4dd Because its as relevant today as it ever was. The heart is wicked above all things. Most think themselves "good" or "righteous" and claim they don't need a saviour. I mean the lady on this video has blasphemed her way through the entire thing and based her logic on falsehood, are you going to follow someone like that? God will try to reach you, though eventually give you over to a reprobate mind. Since that is what you have asked for. You must be able to see this world is falling, the only route to salvation is through the Lord Jesus Christ since only He can make you righteous.
I grew up in an evangelical church rural Deep South. At 17 I told my parents I’m never going back. With all the stories of genocide, rape, incest, killing babies and the adults saying amen. Took doing mushrooms in college to get over that. That was almost 45 years ago
She has a video on that. Year's ago I found out that "Satan" was never a deity but rather an office that was held. Satan means "adversary". Anyone or thing that opposed could be Satan. It was a position. In the book of Job it says God was Satan. I could also tell you stuff about how hell is BS too, but you don't need to go that deep. She has a good video on the fear of hell topic which will work for ya.
@@JaysonT1 it’s actually more complicated than that. satan actually evolves throughout the bible. at one point, satan was an agent for god to do horrible things. at anoother point in the bible, he becomes some contrarian for god. Trey the Explainer does a great video on the evolution of satan.
@@JaysonT1 Yup! I just want to give some theological insight (one doesn't have to believe the theology, I'm just stating this is how the names came about within that framework). The "names" of angels reflect their offices; usually in Hebrew, sometimes in Latin or Greek or Aramaic. Satan = Adversary / Accuser Michael = Who is like God? (A challenge to the devil when he rebelled, Michael's office was to lead the good angels) Lucifer = Light bearer Gabriel = God is my strength (announced Jesus to Mary) Raphael = God has healed (he helped Tobit) and so forth. So yeah, within that framework anything can be "A satan" (Jesus had said "get thee behind me, Satan" and he was talking to a person) but there is also "The Satan" whose office is specifically to accuse.
Great video (as always) this made me realize that I am not an atheist (although I consider myself to be atheist) people get so caught up in semantics that it is frustrating to “call yourself” something. I just realized after watching this video that I’m on a journey to find the truth, and will most likely “be on” that journey throughout my life. It’s good to know there are sane people in this world that are on that same journey as I am. Thank you for sharing your story and letting me feel that I am not alone in my journey.
Part of the problem with society today is the urge to "call yourself" something., particulary those who are young and insecure about who they are. Sadly, once you are stuck with a self-imposed label it imprisons you and stops you continuing the journey of exploration that life is meant to be.
Don't use the words of the wicked she says she's on a journey to find the truth okay the problem is the truth is in the we don't have the power to just see into the spiritual realm like that only if God allows it and move the valve from your eyes God will do that sometimes and show you different things in the spiritual but she's looking for the truth in all the wrong places how could you be trying to look for the truth by trying to bash the scriptures and seeing that the things of the Bible is not true when God word is the truth because God said if it wasn't so I wouldn't have told you so if you're going to look for the truth start with the scriptures and have some faith and belief because if you don't believe what the scripture says you won't believe the truth if you come across something you see and think about this let's say that some scholars whatever or slave masters that she likes to say they wouldn't be able to predict this world all the way up to this point from way back then everything the scriptures talk about is coming to pass today so how could they have tracked all that stuff from centuries ago till nowit's impossible so there is plenty of Truth in the scriptures don't be deceived for many will come and my name and say that they are the Savior but don't be deceived that's what the scripture says so we should not be deceived by false doctoring songs and videos like this it's all pro foolery and it's lies she's confused so why would you follow a confused person into obscurity?
@@emanuelnesmith8003My Man…that entire sentence you wrote was very difficult to understand. The bulk of it sounded like nothing more than random talking points that individuals try to add to their arsenal, to respond to key trigger words someone says to condemn them and do so condescendingly because they are “speaking the words of god”. Now don’t get me wrong, this is not an attack. But there are numerous flaws in your logic and overall writing. What definitely sticks out is your claims of prophesies from centuries ago coming to pass. The law of probability is all that needs to be referenced. If I prophesy that there will be a green and purple dog born on a rainy day at dusk…I can pretty much guarantee that given enough centuries passing, it will likely come to pass. Period. But to go deeper down that particular path, what did the Bible prophesy about the coming messiah? Where he’d be born. Jesus of Nazareth? But what is the most damning in my opinion is the prophecy that the coming messiah would be a direct blood descendant of David. And then the Bible makes it a point to go down each and every single member of the bloodline by name, from David on down. And it ends……….with Joseph. How on earth could Jesus be of the royal bloodline if he is born of a virgin? Meaning Joseph’s royal lineage played no part in the creation of Jesus. Hey, I could be wrong. Lastly, you speak of this video as if it’s evil and misleading….yet you are here. When individuals typically believe something unequivocally, they aren’t usually seeking out ways to go and argue that point. They simply believe it. The same as if she made a video saying your birth name was something completely different…..you wouldn’t for a second watch all of it in entirety, and then try and give proof as to how your name is your name. Get me? Again, not an attack. Believe whatever helps you on your journey to whatever you own personal destination is.
Also, being stripped of agency and growing up being a people pleaser and fearing making any form of mistake, cause "god has a plan for your life and you must follow god's plan. If you deviate from that plan (not that he ever shares his plan of our lives with us) then he will punnish you or purposely let satan harm you. " It is a very toxic "relationship" now that i think about it. If a person does this to another person we are quick to point out toxic shit but god gets a free pass.
This was very comforting to listen to and watch. I've often talked about this, about how my sexuality was one of the reasons I departed from my Christian upbringing. It was torture trying to accept myself for who I am whilst being in the church that constantly maligned me for that same reason. And when I left, I really struggled. Because every circumstance that struck me down, not only would the Christians around me say it's what happens when I decided to leave god so I could indulge in "sin", but also I self-tortured, pestering myself with doubt, wondering if I made the right decision to leave instead of fighting harder to change so I could better fit in with the community. Sometimes I overcome these struggles when I remember that I did pray very hard as a child, that I cried and begged God to change me, to fix me. I remember that he didn't, that nothing happened, that my prayers went unanswered. I remember that I did my part to try and fix myself so I could belong, and that I can't be blamed for the fact that God didn't do his part.
Fortunately I never had to struggle with leaving it, I never bought into it as a child, the challenge back then was being a closet atheist at a time when religiosity was high and I didn't even grow up in the Bible Belt, times have certainly changed, I was a pretty open atheist by the 1980s.
@@JaysonT1 Yes, though my parents were liberal Catholics but Catholicism was forced on me including Catholic school. I asked a lot of questions, it made no sense, I got a lot of non-answers and called BS on it without ever really buying into it. Also at the time, the 1960s, there was no access to info on atheism, I don't think I even knew my disbelief had that term until I was in my teens.
I compare this to a person in a abusive relationship that whats to escape but depends totally on the abuser to survive. No education, no economic income, no friends to go to. They find the courage and take the decision to leave and the first thing the abuser will say is; you will not survive with out me. The person struggles to survive and people will tell them that you should of stayed with the abuser. Years later this person progress in every way possible showing that they made the right decision. Those people that criticize the person vanished from this persons life. Sadly this is how it works and this is how you lose “friends” after you show them that they where wrong.
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will often be lonely, and sometimes frightened. But no price is to high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." Friedrich Nietzsche
It's this sort of thing that got me interested in atheism advocacy. My departure was about as uneventful as things can get. There wasn't even some big dramatic realization. It was just a slow, quiet distancing. I was pretty laissez faire about it until I started finding people who were really hurt by these types of beliefs. Then someone I was talking to mentioned something along the lines of "Some people just need religion." At the time I just nodded along but the statement stuck with me and quickly grew into a question, "Do they?" I keep trying to find these people who supposedly "need religion" and I can't find them. What I find are isolated people with no other social outlet. People who are too scared to look anywhere else for the things their church provides. People who have tied their sense of identity to their church group. And a host of similar scenarios. These organizations claim monopolies on people's social lives and they claim ownership on all kinds of things that they had and have no part in. All to keep people tied into the group. It's all really gross and stunting for so many people.
As I listen to this for at least the 5th time, I’m so comforted and assured that I’m going to be alright. Thanks again for your videos. Love and light to you and your family.
God, is a human construct. "You have to understand that most people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on the system, that they will fight to protect it." Morpheus The Matrix
Thank you so much for this. It’s been a lot on my mind recently. We left our church two years ago, and a few months before that our pastor commented, regarding someone else who’d left, that “people are never happier after they leave”. For a long time after I left, I was determined to prove him wrong. I’ve now reached a point where I couldn’t care less what he thinks about it
I find my thoughts doing this. Lost my truck recently, and the family i went NC with has been buzzing around. Walking 40 min to a physical job and 40 min back, looking over my shoulder everywhere for dad's car... I sometimes think this is God's punishment, that im some awful person. But then i remember that im someone who still relatively recently just got away from a lifetime of abuse, still living in the same city as them - of course im going to be having a rough time
Sadly, no. There are people within that institution that are loving and have that ideal, but the institution itself allows for a lot more, including a lot of exclusive and numb nastiness.
It’s so comforting to have a like minded community here, with people who really understand the experience from the inside out. You really hit the nail on the head every time!
Along with the occasional troll who threatens us all with Hell. Actually, I'm starting to think that anyone trying to promote such belief systems are automatically trolls.
@@FamilyIsGone I won't! Have you read who the god in the bible is? I would never want to spend an eternity with such a childish, incompetent and evil entity.
@@FamilyIsGone I think even just in life, attempting to live without the idea that all humans are terrible beings that have to spend their lives making up for it -- is a real contribution to the planet.
@@FamilyIsGone "And if it's the other way around we'll regret atheism" Not necessarily, in any case, its a pascal wager notion. It not Atheism versus YHWH. It's atheism versus God(s). Perhaps God wants skeptics in heaven.
@@jezebelvibes Nope you need God not a godless alone person that give you empty words that will not be useful in your miserable alone life. you are a lier, as any Goddenier.
Nope you need God not a godless alone person that give you empty words that will not be useful in your miserable alone life. you are a lier, as any Goddenier.
Thank you for your honesty. My decision to leave christianity was tough, but preferable to forcing myself to lie to myself and others if I stayed. A fundamental shift was recognising that the christian construct of a world full of original sin that required redeeming is a lie and that to believe it to be true christians have to adopt a pessimistic viewpoint. Whatever my problems may be, I think human experience is so much more beautiful without the taint of religion
So well put. That is the part that got me unwinding a lot -- even though I'd left Christianity behind long ago, I was still indoctrinated with that teaching. And in fact anyone who goes through Western European education does get that indoctrination-- that education has its roots in the Church, and was formed by it.
THere is a difference between being pessimistic and being realistic Homo Sapiens has had 300,000 years to get things right, the world is still in a mess and shows no sign of getting better. For me, the hope of redemption in Jesus trumps the false hope of humanism. Human experience is even more beautiful when you are living daily in the loving arms of God.
This is a conversation that should happen more. I have been slowly deconstructing for years. Mental health concerns and struggles were all blamed on not surrendering to God enough. Thank you for sharing Part of your story.
I feel like my experience was way easier becoming an atheist. My parents are christians but they didn't indoctrinated me or "forced me" into their religion. They only started to teach me about this things after I was old enough to understand the world and stuff. I'll always be thankful for them choosing not to brainwashing me. That said, I must say its not ease living in a country with an overwhelming majority of people being christians. To the point where I actually avoid to the max coming out as atheist.
My mum was a christian and my dad was a muslim (luckily for me he wasn't a "good" muslim), but as soon as I was old enough to be left home alone on Sundays, my mum didn't make me go to church. As the bible was anathema to me as soon as I was old enough to understand what was being preached, and was thoroughly sick of the evil farce long before then, that was a relief. I was deliberately late the last 2 years of school, as I could no longer take the nauseating bullshit of chapel anymore.
I left Christianity over 20 years ago, and I've had a burden lifted. I feel free to do my own thinking without feeling ashamed because of not feeling judged for something that I had no control over.
This has been an exhausting process and I'm only a year into my deconstruction/deconversion. Not even sure at this point. It hurts and I'm not even sure how I feel about it anymore. I feel a bit an ease but there's just a lot of hurt. I'm proud that I'm being honest about it though and I'm moving on despite it the trauma. Hopefully it gets better. Thanks for expressing yourself and empathizing about the trauma of the journey.
I struggled with my faith but still believed. It wasn't until around my senior year of highschool/slightly after that I started calling myself an atheist. I saw the rude reactions in the way christians responded to a kid in my school who commit suicide. I started calling myself an atheist, but i was "in the closet" from the start of covid and my senior year, the pain of not being able to be honest about it out of fear of losing relationships is freighting and it only builds up to make things worse. It needs to be talked about more! I'm glad these topics are being mentioned more! Thankyou Kristi!! 💚
Had already been slowly pulling away from the church for several years but ever since George Floyd's murder and the blankets statements from church's of 'thoughts & prayers', I was done. Who knew breaking away from the church would make me realize my parents were narcissist and shortly afterward went no contact.
I converted years ago and have gradually been deconstructing over the course of several months. Perhaps because I wasn't raised in religion, I feel that this process has been a bit easier than most. Viewing other cultures, other religions, and hearing the life experiences of people from all walks of life, brought me to the conclusion that every religion is imperfect and incomplete, including the church. I'm still figuring out what exactly I believe. I believe there is a greater purpose to our lives and higher power, but no religion so far has satisfied my need for a lack of contradiction. No religion feels "right." I respect those who practice (most) religions, but I'm not willing to devote myself to any organization that demands I denounce the truth I've discovered through months of research and exploration. It's really nice to see that there's a community of people here at various stages of their deconstruction journey, where everyone can find empathy and support.
Thanks for this video, Kristi. When I left Christianity, the only thing I really missed was the fellowship, but I had also been so emotionally abused by church members. It did cause a crisis for me and I went through months of depression. BTW, I received my 'Bigotry Isn't Cute" t-shirt recently and I love it! Wore it out today in my deep fundamentalist town and got a lot of stares and glares. Loved it lol
Thank you so much for your order! I'm happy you like your shirt- and loving that you're boldly wearing it around town 😅 I live in a small bible belt town, too. I definitely get looks when I wear my shirts out lol!!
You have so much wisdom to be so young. I'm a truck driver. I stumbled on to your channel and you really said what I needed to hear. Thank you for that. I was raised in the "Holy roller" type church. We were in church 3 to 7 days a week. I was 5 years old when we began going to this Pentecostal church. I can remember people trying to cast demons out of a guy. I was told, with several young people, to go outside until the demons were cast out. I was scared to death! Exorcisms were done on a regular basis. This is nothing more than child abuse! I'm 63 years old and I have been in therapy for the past 20 years or so. You said it so well when you said it is "Unpacking the indoctrination." I call it brainwashing. But you said it much better. I was in that cult like nonsense until I was 18 years old.
I have been binge watching your videos for the last week. I have been held captive by my Christian upbringing for 36 years of my life. I have been dealing with my crisis of faith for about the last 5 years but I feel so much comfort watching your videos knowing I am not alone. I do feel free now, but experience the emotional baggage from time to time. I did not have the ability to articulate my thoughts as well as you have done but you really have captured the sentiment. Thank you for being you and being so vocal.
I deconstructed forty years ago, and went through the loss of community and fear of God's wrath and loneliness and all of those effects you name. I was in a cult that went through a ceremony when someone "fell away" of turning your flesh over to the "devil" so that one of three things would happen: You'd be killed by God before you could sin too much to be irredeemable, or you'd experience all kinds of hardships so you'd come crawling back to the church, or nothing would happen, which meant you hadn't been really saved or loved by God in the first place. I've gone through a journey where I am very happy with not having all my questions answered, and continuing to learn and grow as a human. But, my two sisters are still in fundamentalist branches of protestant churches, and they judge me as defective and an "unbeliever" and more so because I'm gay and they don't approve of that, religiously speaking. I just spent a week with them for a vacation for the first time in many years, and they let some judgmental stuff slip and I was just ready for them to go home! I started listening to your stuff as well as Mythvision and other deconstructionists, and also some people who left the same cult I was in and who have shown the false teachings in that group. It's all very supportive. But then I started to have some physical problems, and scary financial things happen, and I'm right back at, "maybe God is punishing me because I'm listening to these deconstructionist messages." It's always there in the back of your mind, I think. Ugh.
Also decades into this (over 50 years) and I'm in the process of deconstructing the punishment thing. it has become clear to me from rereading some biblical stories that the Abrahamic god is all about punishment. "Do what I want or you'll be punished." "I'm the one who decides who gets killed, tortured, or enslaved; better please me or that will be you." What I'm realizing is that these stories were written by men who wanted people to obey them. So they set up a whole system that teaches us to make that fear of punishment internal, and, what's more, persuades us that punishment actually makes us better. But when does punishment actually make people better?
Thank you for this content. I’m several years out from deconstructing and leaving the faith. I’m still doing so much work to regain my identity as my own person and build self esteem after being told my whole life how I was inherently evil and sinful ( not true), that I had no identity or value outside of Christ. So damaging.
I appreciate your support! We moved back to the states at the end of '21 but the year we spent there was incredible! It is such a beautiful country with rich culture and so many genuinely good people
I'm on my third day, it's being weird I feel guilty for not doing what I used to do, but I understand that this is part of the journey. I'm kind afraid of some punishment, but at the same time I remember that I don't know the truth, I passed years praying to have faith and I didn't get it and if I asked someone they would say God have his own time, but for me is too convenient God having his time to do something that He himself said that we should do to be saved, I was catholic and this is what I learned, so as soon as I was losing my faith I star to pray only to have faith, don't ask for anything else, don't asked for a good job, a wife or anything that is also good to ask for, I just prayed for faith and last friday I just stopped everything, because I passed years fighting alone to not lose my faith and praying didn't help me to achieve faith. I punished myself for too long, for a God that only other people told me about Him, but when I asked to be saved I had no response from Him, I just asked for what He wants me to ask for and even then I got nothing and started to question if He is real or if He want to save me, because as a catholic they say God choose people to do His will and so, God have his favorites that He granted with unshakable faith and grace and I wasn't helped even when I asked to have faith, a chosen one don't need to do nothing to be saved, while I had to beg for years and don't be answered, so I conclude that this God either don't exist or he didn't care about some people.
If you notice, there's a lot of stuff in both the old and new testaments about the "elite" and the-- rest of us. As if that's a natural result of religion, to have a small group who are winners and a large group who are the losers they can treat any way they please. It's helped me a lot to learn that "Yahweh" was originally one of a pantheon of about 80 Canaanite gods - Yahweh was the war god. And over the course of putting together the Torah/Old Testament, Yahweh became the one god. But his nature didn't seem to change: still a war god. Still about winners and losers. Still about who pleases the volatile war god by obeying all his rules -- or else. I think we humans can do better than that, and I support you in making that experiment, because to me it's an experiment that will help build a kinder and more livable world.. Trying to meet perfectionist standards that, at bottom, didn't really fit me, almost killed me.
There is a tradition in Catholic mystic literature that is called the dark night of the soul . We don’t feel a thing . But we press on and love others no matter what . This is what God requires and he loves us all .
@bibletrivialistsandstats Thank you for trying, but I'm still not convinced, like I know it's a huge cliche, but why this miracle happened to her but not happened something to save kids starving in Africa? Or those kids with incurable diseases? If you search on TH-cam there is kids with horrible incurable diseases, why those kids are not healed? They are probably Christians as well, but maybe they can't go to church on Sundays because their lives are more complicated and as kids they have no clue on what to do and their parents have to work hard to sustain the treatment these kids need, why God save this woman, but made a kid with a incurable disease? I know you might say Gos have his mysterious way, but I don't understand. But even if we don't talk about kids starving or having incurable disease, why our world is Ruled by evil people? Like Putin is killing innocent Ukrainians by the thousands, our west leaders are just perpetuating this war by not helping Ukraine in a meaningful way, also what about the wars in Africa? What about people dying by not be submitted to China's communist ideology? Or where I live, Brazil, here is so wild that after 8pm is not recommended walk on the street, and this is because I live in the richest city in Brazil, our supreme court and president always do things to keep us poor, here you go to the collage and graduate to have a similar life of a McDonald's employee or even worse and nothing work here. I don't understand why saving here would change my mind, because my mom said that my grandmother spent 10 years in bed and doctor didn't know what to do or what it was, she was catholic her whole life and one day my mom said that a woman that practice umbanda came to her house and made some ritual and out nowhere my grandmother begun to walk again after 10 years, I don't believe that was the result of the ritual, but to me is the same that happened to Delia Roman Knox, but from a different religion, I believe that was a placebo effect.
@bibletrivialistsandstats I'm no longer a christian so I don't believe in supernatural events, maybe the case of Delia Knox works for you, but doesn't for me and I respect your view, but this is not enough evidence, because as I said my grandmother passed through the same thing and a decade later she did a umbanda ritual and start to walk again. A placebo effect don't need anything real, those who are the placebo group use fake pills, fake injections and even fake surgery so this could be the case of Delia and my grandmother
The part that gets me when you leave the faith is the guilt. If someone loves you and wants the best for you, when they see you make decisions for yourself that you think will be good for you and you’re moving in a different direction, they should be happy for you.
If you see someone you love is with a bad partner you don't celebrate when they move in together. Or someone might really think their illicit side hustle is good, or that party drugs are harmless fun, but you can see the harm in it. Loving someone doesn't mean you always think they are making good choices. Some people don't really know how to be kind to the person they care about in those situations. Maybe call it overprotective. And yes an overprotective attitude can be very damaging, but it's not the same as malice.
Why would they be happy foryou rejecting the free gift of eternal life and choosing not to believe? Thats a sad occasion and it will not go well at the judgement after you die. It’s not too late to repent and accept Jesus.
Thank you for your transparency. You are incredibly brave and I’m proud of all the progress you’ve made through your journey so far. I hear you and I see you.
Love every one of your videos. Thank you so much for sharing your story, I know how many years it took for you to get to a place where you could speak so openly and freely. Just know that you have a large community of fans and those who have experienced similar stories who find you as an inspiration for the encounter with nuance, juxtaposition, and storm system that leaving Christianity can really be like. Thank you.
This video was crafted with perfection! I absolutely love what you have to say Kristi. I recently made the decision to leave the church as a young 17 year old. What really did it for me was learning about what Isaiah 45:7 says. This verse led me to lots of questions that eventually moved me to a position in life where I lost my faith.
You are an awesome lovable person krisrie the church wants the people to depend completely on the church you like such strong woman of course the christian members of you're family would tell you it is because you left the church we are supposed to be nothing without the church love you're videos kristie awesome video
Kristi, thanks a lot for sharing. The points you made in this vlog were very important not just for those deconstructing to hear, but also for those still in the Church. It is ok, not to be ok. Thanks again for sharing.
Thank you, Kristi!❤️❤️ This was a beautiful video, you’ve never made a bad one. I do love when you just talk about mental health during the journey. So sorry about your A/C.😳 I’m in Texas too.🥵
I started this journey 10 years ago and although I always put on a smiley face, I recently realised I have a lot of anger in my heart. Unresolved anger. Lots of it. Towards the church.
Everything you talked about in this video is synonymous with what I went through getting off of heroin. I started young, 14 yrs old. It was who I was as a person and my identity and it was all I knew. The only thing I had to get me through the day. After 30 years I got clean during the pandemic and at 51 I've had to unpack the emotional baggage. Lost all my friends. Lots of people at narcotics anonymous will say, thank God for this or that and they just switched from one drug to another (God/religion) I did all this hard work and therapy on my own. I'm not giving an imaginary deity credit for that. Peace and blessings to all who see this. 💕
That is such an interesting and, I think, apt comparison. And congratulations for finding your way to a new identity, I know it isn't easy because I'm in that process myself.
As an an Ex-Christian from a very religious family, I feel like I have to try extra hard to be good and live and clean life. I also dealt with depression most of my life and feel that I have to hide my sadness from them or they’ll think my depression and sin is what caused me to leave Christianity. I tell them over and over it that’s its a purely intellectual decision that I made after a few years of finally deciding to question and study the other side of things. Idk, I’m just alone in a world of anger and annoyance. I can’t relate to anyone around me. But anywho, love the channel. At least I have channels like this to watch.
I had a dream last night. I was outside my old church walking around with my family and there was a bunch of Christians there just hanging out, and there was this little boy singing one of my favorite hymns and I turned to my family and said "He knows all the words." And I felt happy and sad in my dream. I loved my religion and the music and the people, but I do not believe anymore, and I know it was causing me so much hurt staying in. I was convinced I'd die at a young age due to all the stress I had of being a repressed homosexual with a poor social life. I am on my third week from having left Christianity and I almost had an emotional breakdown at work today thinking about the dream. This is difficult, and let me say this: I wish it had been true.
The concept of “sin” was made up to control people. It is immoral, very damaging and illogical. Here's how it works; _pretend_ that being Human and Normal is a problem, then _pretend_ that there will be huge consequences if you fail to not be Human (which is, of course, impossible), THEN PRETEND that you've got a solution (which, of course, includes paying money to a church, and giving up some autonomy, thus giving those who promote the con _more power over you)._ It is so hugely manipulative a concept that I starting to think that spreading it to others should be a criminal offence.
I was through some fairly mild depressions as a christian and after leaving christianity, I had a more severe depression that required treatment for about half a year. After that was cured, I haven't had a single depression in 20 years! I don't have to struggle constantly any more with every thought I percieve as 'rebellious' or 'sinful' or things like that. Or rationalise to myself how genocide and slavery was ok, even morally, in the olden times, because times was shitty! And I'm not an atheist so I can sin, I think I do less things a christian would percieve as sinful now than I did as a christian. Partly because increased maturity, I guess, but also partly because there is some topics of thought I don't have to constantly grind in my thoughts, and what's not in your mind isn't really a temptation. Those are passing thoughts now, when they once was a thought trapped in a giant labyrinth of mental blocks, percieved divine commands and dogmas.
Mentally, leaving was easy after working 8 years in an industry where your days off are on weekdays. Just getting out of the habit of going to church and losing contact with those folks, provided the mental break to give one the space to reevaluate your world.
I had a very similar experience. The worst part to me was the fear tactics they used to keep people from leaving. I am kind of a loner, so I wasn't part of the community, but I was so afraid for a long time that I made a mistake, and all of the pain I was experiencing was punishment from God. I am now genuinely happier than I ever was as a Christian. I still have my problems, but I can never see myself going back.
Your video is very interesting so far. I will have to finish later today. I was raised christian but am disillusioned with it & the tv evangelists/properity preachers & all the bs.
@@RocketKirchner Or the one, who stayed, very, very, quiet, during the blood libel, on medieval Jews... a 350ish year, slave trade, in Christendom... and an Inquisition, in Spain... mind? Or so, it can often, appear. Object-ively? Well, frequently.
Hi Krista, great video. My struggles I realize is not what I believe or not believe it is my brain. I was diagnosed severely ADHD in my early 50s. When I told the people in the Sunday school some of them said " are you getting therapy? Others said " you are possessed by the Demon ADHD.!" That was over 10 years ago and I have not been back to church since. Right I don't know what I believe or don't believe. Thank you for helping me and others.
Thank you for this video! It's refreshing to know I'm not alone in wondering "did I make the right choice leaving "the church", ultimately the Christian cult! Yesterday something good happened a d my 1st thought was "praise God". Then I thought, "No! I did that. I put in the time and effort and 'I' made that good thing happen!
Anxiety has been a frequent (and unwelcome) part of my life so I really hear you. But the fairy tales of Guardian Angels and the Good Boogieman in the Sky are impediments, rather than comforts. Life is hard and life is sad for everyone.
So aptly put, and of course very true. The bible is pure mythology, and should be put on the shelf with other fairy book stories for children. The Yahudi tribe really has disabled millions of peoples minds over the years, so sad.
I really appreciate your ability to articulate your feelings and the reality of leaving behind relationships and community. It is really difficult. Especially in small communities.
Hi Kristi! I can relate to your experience. I was brought up in a strict RCC family and had some good spiritual experiences, but I couldn't get it to stick for me. I struggled with sensual desires and the theology didn't make logical sense to me and no one could provide a good explanation. At one point I just told God that I was becoming a free agent because the RCC didn't make sense to me. It was actually the most terrifying decision I ever made but as time went by I started to feel a lot happier and I felt no inclination to return to organized Christianity. I still believed in God and was grateful for my life but that was it. Fast forward 11 years and I experienced a powerful spiritual awakening by Christ that was completely unexpected. Since that time 2.5 years ago I've been going through a lot of healing and I'm very happy to say I've been healed of fornication among other things. I've also received a ton of guidance to answer my questions that were part of the reasons I left the RCC. I now know that God lives in your heart and not a building and that there's so much more to spirituality then we've been taught or that people even know. My mind is being blown regularly, and I absolutely love my relationship with God now. I will pray that something amazing happens for you as well! ⚡😀
Can you say more, on the spiritual awakening part, @PM-xy5yg ? There do seem, to be many of those - but also, across a fairly... wide, spectrum, too, thus far.
@@chrissonofpear1384 Sure! It was an amazing experience that actually took place over two different days. The first day I started experiencing really strong emotions within the core of my chest that were being activated by an external force. It started with very deep sobbing, that I can't ever recall crying like that before. The crying lasted for a few minutes before transitioning into a deep laughter which would last for a few minutes and then switch back to the sobbing. This cycle lasted maybe half an hour. It actually felt quite cathartic but it didn't feel like it belonged to me in some strange way. There's another aspect to my spiritual awakening that I won't get into the details on or I would have to write a book! 😂 I'll just say that it would be considered as a twin flame activation that was done remotely and not in person. Two days later it started happening again Some external power was filling up my body with energy and it actually felt really good. However the energy continued to increase until I actually had to lie down on the floor. The intensity continued to increase until I pretty much no longer had much control over my body and was at the mercy of this power. Although it did feel really good it was quite intimidating. I have had some spiritual experiences when I was younger and I believed in God so I wasn't completely shocked that something like this could happen. My body continued filling up with light and energy until I felt myself merge with my spiritual being (now that was a surprise). I knew it was me right away and I discovered also that I was a fallen angel. God was revealing who I really was. When my spiritual self merged I became very defiant with God and started expressing my hatred for him (I didn't even know I hated him but it was embedded in my soul). I started struggling and fighting against his energy even though it felt really good. The experience continued to intensify to the point that I thought I would perish several times because my body would vaporize from the energy. God was sending waves of energy and light into me as I was laying on the floor. It felt so intensely pleasurable and sensual. I don't think it would be possible to experience more pleasure than what I experienced without being destroyed. I would describe the experience as being ravished by God. It was probably the best experience I've ever had since God created me. 😂 I've actually craved that experience ever since. I'm not going to share all the details of the interaction and the tons of stuff that happened since because too much information. I would definitely highly recommend reaching out to God for guidance since he's definitely real and you don't want to miss your salvation offer provided by Jesus. I'm very grateful God did that for me and so I pray he can do amazing things for other people too. ⚡✌️
@@PM-xy5yg Well, that does ring a few bells - I never had the waves of pleasure thing. Sometimes it was peaceful, other times more disturbing. But I hardly got any clear communication out of it, at all - and mostly, insomnia. For quite, a while. Left quite ambiguous. But yes it was not quite... earthly. Kun-d-alini level, at least... It's the guidance bit, also - I have trouble with. For the planet has been FESTOONED with apparent messages... with 'channeling' and alleged 'possessions' and books and messages, and 'prophecies' etc. Particularly since 1970 - and many hard to assess, in terms of credibility or consistency. Pretty much all the prophecies fizzled out, however. Hence my general guardedness, about this - despite experiencing a fairly close, approximation to this, some decade ago. So more info is needed - including what... guidance... occurred in days of blood libel, Inquisition, and slave trade. And how real Adam and Eve really were - or if they could 'give' anything, to a possibly allegorical - and possibly not - mad, disloyal angel. Especially, a world... Oh, and some... thoughts on 2 Samuel 12... verses 15, to 18... may be informative. Too. As sometimes, hatred grows over time... as does, mistrust. And may also not have anything to do, with purported pre-incarnate, statuses.
Since becoming an Atheist, I have found more peace, joy and happiness than I have my entire life. It took years but I am now authentically me. Your words in this video could not have been more perfect and more true. You are awesome!
The biggest hurdle for the everyday Christian (not the evangelists, Jehovah's Witnesses, etc-the "normal" Christian) is wrestling with the fact that their life here and now is all there is. That when you die, you return to the earth and that's that. This existential quandary is the entire reason religions exist ultimately and it can be very difficult for people to accept.
I beg to differ : the biggest hurdle was laid out by SOCRATES when he said that the unexamined life is not worth living and that the Christ of the New Testament promises a cross with no flowery words to follow him in faith in the here and now .
Thank you, this is a very good message, as I’m going through deconstruction, I cannot avoid to feel like an “orphan”. Every other Christian around, including Pastors can only point me back to “the scripture” and it’s very hard to communicate to them, that is exactly how my process started, when I understood how such “scripture” got into my hands, how those translations, including “King James” in English and “Reyna Valera” in Spanish, were made and chosen for us. It has been a hard couple of weeks. 😢
i've never heard somebody put this into words... i love your videos. thank you so much for talking about this topic, and about your deconstruction in general. it's affected me so greatly, in such an important and positive way.
I can't express how much I appreciate these videos. I never knew I needed someone to talk about religious trauma the way you do. I unfortunately had an argument with my mom about me being transgender and there was so much pain behind it all and how my mom tried so hard to tell me that my decision and transition is unnatural etc etc. as much as it hurt I don't want to be angry with her for how she is. I don't even want to be angry with her faith. I just want to live in peace. I am happy being atheist, I'm happy living how I live and I am so so so grateful for your videos. They bring me so much comfort, I can't stop watching. I hope your deconstruction journey has continued to be fruitful. Thank you Kristi.
I have to say, if you can’t figure out whether or not god is testing you or satan is attacking you, perhaps god isn’t as good of a guy as people make him seem. What kind of good god would “test” you so severely that you weren’t sure if god was doing it or the devil was doing it? Lol
Thank you for uploading this! Trying to get enough courage to tell my parents I no longer believe. It’s been hard because I know the reaction will be very dramatic and emotional, but I need to think about myself in this.
i count myself LUCKY that i didn’t go through some emotional and/or psychological trauma when becoming an atheist. so i do applaud and admire those who had to go through quite a lot to leave a harmful religion. i was a catholic at one point. but through reasoning and logic i did deconstruct through a slow transition. though it took decades. my last belief was that god (or what i generalized as some supernatural creator of some sort) was actually female and that religion was irrelevant. but at some point, it just didn’t make sense anymore for a god to exist. it probably helped that as someone who is a scientist/engineer, i’m more like Spock than Dr. McCoy.
For me, the word "god" tends to mean some humanoid being, which I find pretty reductionist in a harmful way. The power that runs the universe cannot be squished into human form. And the power that runs the universe doesn't want to be worshipped, it wants to be recognized and find collaborators in us. Dr. Spock included!
I really appreciate this video. I honestly started being honest about my beliefs about Christianity and it's been lonely at times, but necessary. I don't feel like a liar anymore and it's been great. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety while still in my faith, so I relate to what you say here. Thank you
Thank you so much for this video. It can definitely be shocking and depressing when you have lived your entire life believing that there will be an afterlife of paradise and then realizing that it may not actually be true.
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Excuse me for MELTING during this video 🥴It's summer in the south and my AC just went out🥵
it went out to find jesus didn't it? AC 4 JC
Yikes! No air-conditioning ❄️. 😮
Put water on your roof.
Clearly the fires of hell coming for you, missy. 😈
I live in Florida & our central ac went out over a week ago but we have a window unit in master bedroom & a portable unit in another room. The thermostat hit high 80s in the main area. Getting quotes now but everyone is busy so slow response. We’re getting along just fine for now.
When I was a Christian, my newborn baby died while my husband was in a mental health hospital. The most devout Christians were the most unsupportive. My husband was blamed for his mental health issues and for the death of our child. When I tried talking to my church "family" I was dismissively told to pray and read the Bible more. But reading the Bible only made me feel worse! I was told that I was depressed because I lacked faith and hope in Christ.
Conversely, my agnostic and athiest friends actually listened to me and told me it was ok to be depressed. They mourned with me and showed compassion and empathy for me and my husband. I did not "lose" my Christian faith. I painstakingly freed myself from the bondage of it! I am so much happier without it!
Unfortunately those were false Christians. You really don't need the Bible to know that isn't a conclusion they should have drawn about you or your husband or your newborn child. Sounds like that church was *FULL* of masquerading narcissists. I'm sorry for what you experienced from them!
For every story with a scenario like this, there are hundreds that are the opposite. Not only that, but the story is ‘fishy’. Agnostic and atheist FRIENDS? That might have something to do with it - why don’t you tell the WHOLE story?
@@seektruth5074tf are you on about? Go away and pray in quiet.Cultist.
@@seektruth5074only hundreds? Should be more if it's worth it's weight in saltm
@@seektruth5074nvm it's clear you're an unserious troll. Don't waste your energy replying.
I was miserable as a Christian... it was a living hell! I constantly walked around in fear, depression, and anxiety every day ending up with suicide attempts and in psych hospital's numerous times. The devil was out to get me and if I breathed the wrong way I was going to hell! Deconstructing was a slow and difficult process and went through it totally alone. That was 25 years ago and at that time I didn't have internet although there weren't any Atheist channels anyways so it was very difficult but through intense therapy and deprogramming, little by little I got better and the fear and depression left me. When that happened it was AWESOME! It was like a million tons was lifted off my back! I was finally FREE INDEED from the bondage and Christian slavery...I was released from the shackles that were wrapped around my mind that held me captive in lies, deception, fear, and confusion and insane thought processes...I was FREE from the insanity of Christianity and was able to see and think clearly but it was a lot of work with all the extensive research and studying of the bible and religion in order to gain that freedom...I hungered after REAL TRUTH when the cognitive dissonance left me. I can honestly say that I'm the happiest I've ever been having peace, joy, and contentment in my life...yes I'm FREE INDEED but yes I still have my struggles because it's life on life's terms and we can still get through it and live a good life because I know god isn't punishing me and Satan isn't out to get me!😊😊😊
Thank you Kristi... great content and insight.🌹🌹🌹
Are you looking for another group to join ? What’s the difference ? Group think enforces confirmation bias be it atheist or Christian .
@@RocketKirchner Except there is nothing to confirm about atheism. Not believing in something is not a positive claim. So equating it to something like christianity, which throws out unsubstantiated positive claims like candy on Halloween is disingenuous at best.
Atheist "group think" is "Please produce evidence for your claims. Otherwise bugger off".
This gives me so much HOPE. You sounded just like me. I had such fear and anxiety and thought the devil was out to get me at every breath I took. Most of that fear has gone since I stopped attending church 15 yrs ago, but there are still a lot of things I need to unpack. like fear of hell and bad things will happen to you if you redefine your spiritual walk - oh, wait. I like that. I'm calling it "redefining my spiritual walk." I've always hungered for the REAL TRUTH. I'm trying to find the source of my anxiety and fear and I think it's largely been fed by Christian indoctrination. Man, this is hard.
Or maybe God really exists but he isn't a malevolent control freak who wants to torture you for being human ;-)
@@RocketKirchner
you’re pushing that an atheist has beliefs the same way Xians have beliefs.
you’re doing nothing BUT employing false equivalency….a favorite Xian tactic.
I asked my wife if she thought I became an atheist because I wanted to sin. She simply said, "no." Oddly, I try harder to not do bad after becoming an atheist, than when I was a Christian.
You don't have an imaginary saviour who will forgive your transgressions anymore. Crossing someone means you have to ask for forgiveness from a real, living being instead of a spirit in the sky. That's why secular humanist morality will always be superior to theistic morality, which can just ignore wrongdoings on earth.
That makes sense. If one believes they will be forgiven for anything they do, why not do it? The other way makes sense as well - if there is no final judgement, why not do it? Humans are great at rationalizing. A person really chooses to be "good" (mental health issues aside) from within themselves whether theist or atheist. They are "good" because it's the "right" thing to do whether God says so or whether they've come to that conclusion on their own through reason.
@@LouisGiliberto This is why so many end up killing their children, they believe they will simply ask for forgiveness and they BELIEVE they are forgiven! Induced psychosis.
@@tiredofliars I don't know if there's any statistical argument for "so many" in this category, but for sure some.
We humans can rationalize all kinds of crazy, weird, and evil stuff. If we want a "reason" (i.e., excuse) for doing something, we're sure to be able to dig one up. Just ask any 12 year old why they didn't finish their homework, lol.
Integrity is doing the right thing even no one is watching. I used to only do good deeds because I thought God was watching me so to do good things just to be a good person is much more fulfilling 💕
I've been telling friends that becoming an atheist didn't "fix" or "cure" my depression. But it's helped a lot, and the tools I gained from leaving Christianity has helped me better deal with my mental health issues.
That's one of the harms of religion in my opinion. It robs you of the coping mechanisms you would otherwise develop and replaces them with god. Once you leave that cult, you have to build something you should've learned as a child from scratch.
@@Finckelstein I wish this wasn't true but I definitely believe that Christianity and probably all religions causes more harm then good.
Yes they act like god cures it, im like yall know thats a lie. Tht shit did nothing but have me feel i wasnt doin enough. I was virgin n everything n was hating myself what else. I was like its cuz ive always loved lgbtq n dont hate em like im supposed to. And that i liked women myself n had hormones. I would tell people god saved me but i hated givin it power tht i know was me. Now as an athiest i still struggle with mental health, but its doable and im in reality n true love❤ self love
@@bmoe4609 I know what you mean, I'm bi, so I have to work on self love too. Sadly, I don't think you have to be LGBTQ+ to have learned from religion not to love yourself, but it certainly doesn't help.
@@DavidWilkinss Blablabla. Keep your useless nonsense to yourself. Your book of delusions and hate isn't worth the paper it's written on.
Combine unpacking Christian indoctrination and redefining your spiritual walk while your husband is fighting cancer and I will tell you.... THIS IS NOT EASY. I've asked myself if this is the right time to be unpacking, but this process started before my husband's diagnosis and I cannot stop it. I have to see it through so this video was SO VERY TIMELY and muchly needed. THANK YOU, Kristi!
I am so sorry to hear what you and your husband are going through. I know it can't be easy. Especially while unpacking religious indoctrination. Deepest wishes for peace and healing for you both during this time ❤️
@@jezebelvibes Thank you so much, Kristi. Blessings to you as well. :)
Sorry to hear about your husband's illness. I hope things go well for him. Hang in there.
@@LouisGiliberto Thank you very much! Blessings!
I would suggest to you that leaving Christianity behind is not leaving spiritual help behind. On the contrary: you get the choice and responsibility of having your own relationship with the power that runs the universe -- a much bigger and more harmonious power than humans can imagine in their religions and gods.
I know this is different from what Kristi says, but to me it looks also as if she's making her own spiritual connection. You can too, and the deconstructing is PART of that, not at war with that or stopping that.
One of the things I've always despised about religion, particularly fundamentalist religion, is the negative effect it has on self-worth. I have a female acquaintance whom I've known for about seven years who's had a lot of terrible things happen to her throughout her life, and because she grew up in a strict religious environment, first Mormon and now Methodist, she's convinced herself that all those horrible things she's endured are God's punishment for being a horrible person.
Oops 😢 satan's illusion made her think so.
@@marinacitronova8604 actually, it was growing up with the toxic view, fostered by religion, that she was innately worthless and corrupt.
The BIble tell us that we are worth so much to God that He was willing to die for us. If He loves us that much. how can we hate ourselves?
@@ChrisSmith-xh9wb because the Bible tells us that we are innately corrupt even when we’re first born.
@@ChrisSmith-xh9wb "The bIble tell us that we are worth so much to god"
Isaiah 64
6 "But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away."
Romans 3:10
“As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one:"
The "righteousness as filthy rags" is grossly offensive and very irresponsible.
Basically, it's saying that your god has so little discernment that it can't tell the difference between someone who lives their whole life helping others, and then dies while trying to save some children (but doesn't believe in the biblical bullshit, so goes to an eternal Hell), from someone who buggers children on a daily basis and is generally utterly selfish (but believes in god, repents at the end and so goes to Heaven).
I was never a great fan of the human race, even as a little kid, but the Stockholm Syndromesque behaviour I saw in church nauseated me (that was before the eponymous incident). in fact the bible was anathema to me right from the start, virtually everything was just sickening.
Kristi, I'm glad you've entered this space. A lot of the atheboiz in this space keep to the rationality and science and apologist reactions, and all of that. Which is certainly needful, don't get me wrong. It's great that you've addressed the emotional and social aspects of deconversion. The trauma "life cycle" of deconversion needs more attention. REconstruction needs the same focus, if not more, as DEconstruction.
Thanks so much for the kind words. And I agree- the emotional aspects of leaving the faith should be discussed more. Especially considering the church loves to disregard emotions and feelings as "of the flesh". Spirituality is an emotional experience. And the rationality and science are super helpful for overcoming bad beliefs, but the emotional work is just as important (if not more).
Amen!! Oh, maybe “ditto” is more apropos here, lol
well said!
I think humor can help;
I'm just here to masturbate.
Please never stop. You are an inspiration ❤
I have felt so much more peace after leaving the church.
Me too!
Yes. Is this the born again experience? The REAL born again experience?
Same, I don't feel the constant guilty.
@albertoalves1063
They (the church) loves to make people feel guilty of something... anything.
Same over here
Loved this video. Coming from an Evangelical background with a very strong evangelical family, i can relate to everything you shared. Stay strong and stay true to yourself.
🫶
When one is doing well as a believer they say god is blessing you, when you not doing so well you sinned and god is angry with you. When you leave and you do well they say satan is looking after his own and if you not doing so well then they say the reason again is because you walked away from god. Just can't win.....just live life to the best of your abilities
Classic behavior from church buildings.
What did it for me (as a teenage UK evangelical...now 57) was
having a pastor who condemmed me for asking too many questions and actually
expelled me from my church.
It later turned out that he was having an affair at the same time
that he expelled me from church.
I was having a few unanswered questions about my faith....
He was shagging around behind his wife's back.
Said it all and I walked away....
There have always been badly flawed people infiltrating high positions in the church. That is no reason t walk away from Jesus Christ.
Seen similar in the group of churches I was involved in many years ago. One of the very popular leaders was shagging another church leader for many many years and were discovered.... both their spouses were also in the same church. Hilarious. I'm not talking they got a bit drunk and carried away on a trip... I mean many years of outright deceit of everyone around them. But yeah... I'm an atheist now because I want to sin according to some.
Gosh, that was a tough video to watch 😢.
I too used to suffer terribly from anxiety and depression. Ironically, it became a lot better after I deconverted. And yes, the Church is totally clueless when it comes to dealing with mental health issues.
Me too!
Sad to hear that. 😢Catholic priests always helped me... prayer, sacrament of penance. ❤
The problem with the religion is that you are always either blame for everything or you are facing something with supernaturals powers that make you powerless against and you are unable to help yourself and only god can help you, but the trick is God never help you, you can do like I did praying for years to be a better believer, but nothing I was feeling guilty every single day because I felt like I never was good enough and God didn't helped me to be better for him until one day I just got enough I decide to stop and to be honest was good, I felt free for the first time in my life.
Lost my faith a couple years ago. It was like losing a loved one. I was devastated and mourned for a while. I went through most of the stages of grief. I’m at acceptance but that type of grief when you were so invested is ongoing and changing. Losing faith and finding it’s not true is like losing someone that you loved and thought loved you. But an extra layer on top of finding out that person was never real. Not only grief but you question your whole life and have to grieve that too. But I’d rather live in reality and truth than a lie.
Could I ask you out of curiosity why you stopped believing? Or is that too personal?
I was just talking about this transition of mourning, losing who I thought was my best friend. It’s sad, while simultaneously freeing me from all the damage. I liken it to becoming “sober” for the first time.
Some days it felt like cold turkey. Like gravity pulling me down extra hard. It grounded me. It made me strong. I am me now.
This 👏🏼👏🏼
My deconstruction happened 20-22 years ago and to this day I still have areas of my life that are affected by the indoctrination of religion.
I developed a terrible shame for experiencing sexual attraction which then developed into a fear of intimacy. Just to name one of a few.
Religion can cause massive amounts of damage and for some, recovery will have to be a journey rather than a goal. The sooner you escape, the better
With sexuality it is tough... whatever you have sexual, it is a sin 😢. How tragic! 😢 Better to get married soon.
Best wishes, J. Every day you're getting closer to resolving things.
@@marinacitronova8604 "Better to get married soon."
I can't tell if you're joking or not.
spot on with the sex one, and also a continual fear that what I really wanted to do with my life was not "God's Will"
@@marinacitronova8604I really don't think marriage is an option for people with a fear of intimacy. Logically, no one is going to subject themselves to a partner who uncontrollably shakes when you touch them.
My husband just sent me your page this morning, thankyou for helping on my journey and for your work 💚
yay! tell him thanks from me :)
This is why I find religion so problematic. I was SA by a family member and my mother thinks it happened because she ignored the spiritual war that was going on. She thinks it's _her_ fault but then at the same time she recognizes god was there and he didn't do anything about it because *_"he can do as he pleases with us"_* . Not only does religion affect her mind but she doesn't recognize the emotional abuse she inflicts on me with it.
I'm glad I became an atheist, because I can't imagine how damaging that is to a Christian. That god can do as he pleases with us, including letting someone SA you.
Yup, the more I review the bible, the more I see the Abrahamic god as a god made in the image of an abusive man. And frequently, abusive men are idolized in religious circles. We're used to that pattern and see it as "leadership". As you say, damaging.
Imagine being a survivor of SA and then someone tells you God is in control. If he was in control then why didn’t he stop it? “He is going to use your pain for his glory”… I don’t know how to feel about that because it’s still pain and it shouldn’t have happened…
IF I were god, it wouldn't bother me if people came out of their houses, cursed my name every morning, and went off to worship a small, blue, porcelain hippo, just as long as they were nice to each other and other animals. But then again, I'm not a mythical deity, made up by people who were desperate for others to believe in it.
Furthermore, I would feel that I would have what we all have in Law towards each other, a *Duty of Care* towards any sentient beings that I created. All this, "oh, god created us, so it can do what it likes with us", is yet more sycophantic, damaging, Stockholm Syndromesque, sickening nonsense!
Where is the *Duty of Care* mentioned in the bible?
So sorry that you had to go through that.
@@pineapplepenumbra I don’t like that sentiment where “He created us so He can do whatever He wants with us”. Like we have feelings? What about our mental health? But it’s okay if we go through horrible trauma because it is all for His glory. 🫠🙃
I'm pretty far in my deconstruction (15 years-ish) but stuff is coming up recently that is teaching me new ways i need to heal - mostly in relationship with the people i call my parents. having parents that love you but also have a delusion that you're going to burn in hell x forever is so weird. It's like they're not BAD people but their belief and view of the world is so problematic. sometimes I feel pity and compassion for them... but mostly I just dont want to see them. every time I see my parents lately I just cry after because they don't love me in the ways i need. Currently in the midst of deciding how to deal with this and your videos are helping by giving me confidence and security. thanks Kristi, hope your Ac gets fixed soon, I'd die !
Yes this❤
Bro, i know it can be tough and i kinda relate to what your going through (my mom is super religious), but you shouldnt feel bad about it, if they dont love you anymore or show less love to you just because you legitimately and honestly think or believe certain way, even if you are not doing any harm to anyone with that, then they are wrong, not you. Be patient and keep loving them the same way tho, you were in their shoes before so you know how poisonous and entrapping religion can be, they are just victims of that poison.
@@vlastermaster the problem is they STILL love me haha but they don't love who I am. I feel like it's a weird Stockholm syndrome cause I'm still here kind of defending them.
@@joogies its still their fault lol, but i understand what you mean
Dealing with indoctrinated parents is really challenging. I feel for you :(
Ex Jehova's witness here. I have come out of the church a few years ago and I still feel the impact it had on my life. And it wasn't a good one. There was so much I could have done if it wasn't for them pushing me back. Not to tell the psychological and why not the social part of it. It is still a bit hard for me to socialise because all I knew was to be in the church
Thanks for being our voice. I wish I was as good with words as you
There are some good ex-JW channels around on TH-cam. Lloyd Evans is one. The fellow has serious scandal surrounding himself, but a lot of his content seems good. The Truth Hurts is another.
Romans 1
28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; 29 Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, 30 Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, 31 Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful: 32 Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.
@@fender97 Why are you quoting that insane, vile, damaging, manipulative, infantile bullshit?
Do you think that it will win you back any converts to your foul, immoral, illogical, foundationless belief system?
You are the unrighteousness, wicked, covetous, malicious, deceitful, malign; whispering, backbiting, hateful, proud, -inventor- repeater of evil things, without understanding, without natural affection, unmerciful, and it is YOU who INSULT any God, or Gods that _might_ (unlikely though it sounds) exist.
@@fender97why are you quoting the Bible?
@orkhaa-rh4dd Because its as relevant today as it ever was. The heart is wicked above all things.
Most think themselves "good" or "righteous" and claim they don't need a saviour.
I mean the lady on this video has blasphemed her way through the entire thing and based her logic on falsehood, are you going to follow someone like that?
God will try to reach you, though eventually give you over to a reprobate mind. Since that is what you have asked for.
You must be able to see this world is falling, the only route to salvation is through the Lord Jesus Christ since only He can make you righteous.
I grew up in an evangelical church rural Deep South. At 17 I told my parents I’m never going back. With all the stories of genocide, rape, incest, killing babies and the adults saying amen. Took doing mushrooms in college to get over that. That was almost 45 years ago
The emotional problem of leaving EC is FEAR of HELL
She has a video on that. Year's ago I found out that "Satan" was never a deity but rather an office that was held. Satan means "adversary". Anyone or thing that opposed could be Satan. It was a position. In the book of Job it says God was Satan.
I could also tell you stuff about how hell is BS too, but you don't need to go that deep. She has a good video on the fear of hell topic which will work for ya.
@@JaysonT1 it’s actually more complicated than that.
satan actually evolves throughout the bible. at one point, satan was an agent for god to do horrible things. at anoother point in the bible, he becomes some contrarian for god. Trey the Explainer does a great video on the evolution of satan.
@@JaysonT1 Yup! I just want to give some theological insight (one doesn't have to believe the theology, I'm just stating this is how the names came about within that framework).
The "names" of angels reflect their offices; usually in Hebrew, sometimes in Latin or Greek or Aramaic.
Satan = Adversary / Accuser
Michael = Who is like God? (A challenge to the devil when he rebelled, Michael's office was to lead the good angels)
Lucifer = Light bearer
Gabriel = God is my strength (announced Jesus to Mary)
Raphael = God has healed (he helped Tobit)
and so forth.
So yeah, within that framework anything can be "A satan" (Jesus had said "get thee behind me, Satan" and he was talking to a person) but there is also "The Satan" whose office is specifically to accuse.
It seems to me though that being IN an EC is where you get continually indoctrinated with the fear of hell. And, more subtly, in other churches too.
It's disgusting! If somebody didn't want to believe in or respect me I definitely would not want them to burn in hell for eternity..
Great video (as always) this made me realize that I am not an atheist (although I consider myself to be atheist) people get so caught up in semantics that it is frustrating to “call yourself” something. I just realized after watching this video that I’m on a journey to find the truth, and will most likely “be on” that journey throughout my life. It’s good to know there are sane people in this world that are on that same journey as I am. Thank you for sharing your story and letting me feel that I am not alone in my journey.
Part of the problem with society today is the urge to "call yourself" something., particulary those who are young and insecure about who they are. Sadly, once you are stuck with a self-imposed label it imprisons you and stops you continuing the journey of exploration that life is meant to be.
Don't use the words of the wicked she says she's on a journey to find the truth okay the problem is the truth is in the we don't have the power to just see into the spiritual realm like that only if God allows it and move the valve from your eyes God will do that sometimes and show you different things in the spiritual but she's looking for the truth in all the wrong places how could you be trying to look for the truth by trying to bash the scriptures and seeing that the things of the Bible is not true when God word is the truth because God said if it wasn't so I wouldn't have told you so if you're going to look for the truth start with the scriptures and have some faith and belief because if you don't believe what the scripture says you won't believe the truth if you come across something you see and think about this let's say that some scholars whatever or slave masters that she likes to say they wouldn't be able to predict this world all the way up to this point from way back then everything the scriptures talk about is coming to pass today so how could they have tracked all that stuff from centuries ago till nowit's impossible so there is plenty of Truth in the scriptures don't be deceived for many will come and my name and say that they are the Savior but don't be deceived that's what the scripture says so we should not be deceived by false doctoring songs and videos like this it's all pro foolery and it's lies she's confused so why would you follow a confused person into obscurity?
@@emanuelnesmith8003My Man…that entire sentence you wrote was very difficult to understand.
The bulk of it sounded like nothing more than random talking points that individuals try to add to their arsenal, to respond to key trigger words someone says to condemn them and do so condescendingly because they are “speaking the words of god”.
Now don’t get me wrong, this is not an attack. But there are numerous flaws in your logic and overall writing. What definitely sticks out is your claims of prophesies from centuries ago coming to pass. The law of probability is all that needs to be referenced. If I prophesy that there will be a green and purple dog born on a rainy day at dusk…I can pretty much guarantee that given enough centuries passing, it will likely come to pass. Period.
But to go deeper down that particular path, what did the Bible prophesy about the coming messiah? Where he’d be born. Jesus of Nazareth?
But what is the most damning in my opinion is the prophecy that the coming messiah would be a direct blood descendant of David. And then the Bible makes it a point to go down each and every single member of the bloodline by name, from David on down. And it ends……….with Joseph. How on earth could Jesus be of the royal bloodline if he is born of a virgin? Meaning Joseph’s royal lineage played no part in the creation of Jesus. Hey, I could be wrong.
Lastly, you speak of this video as if it’s evil and misleading….yet you are here. When individuals typically believe something unequivocally, they aren’t usually seeking out ways to go and argue that point. They simply believe it. The same as if she made a video saying your birth name was something completely different…..you wouldn’t for a second watch all of it in entirety, and then try and give proof as to how your name is your name. Get me?
Again, not an attack. Believe whatever helps you on your journey to whatever you own personal destination is.
Also, being stripped of agency and growing up being a people pleaser and fearing making any form of mistake, cause "god has a plan for your life and you must follow god's plan. If you deviate from that plan (not that he ever shares his plan of our lives with us) then he will punnish you or purposely let satan harm you. "
It is a very toxic "relationship" now that i think about it. If a person does this to another person we are quick to point out toxic shit but god gets a free pass.
He didn’t get a free pass when they crucified him .
At age 60, I don't know if I will be fully healed of rapture anxiety and burning in eternal torment.
I hear you, I can relate 😢
This was very comforting to listen to and watch. I've often talked about this, about how my sexuality was one of the reasons I departed from my Christian upbringing. It was torture trying to accept myself for who I am whilst being in the church that constantly maligned me for that same reason.
And when I left, I really struggled. Because every circumstance that struck me down, not only would the Christians around me say it's what happens when I decided to leave god so I could indulge in "sin", but also I self-tortured, pestering myself with doubt, wondering if I made the right decision to leave instead of fighting harder to change so I could better fit in with the community.
Sometimes I overcome these struggles when I remember that I did pray very hard as a child, that I cried and begged God to change me, to fix me. I remember that he didn't, that nothing happened, that my prayers went unanswered. I remember that I did my part to try and fix myself so I could belong, and that I can't be blamed for the fact that God didn't do his part.
Fortunately I never had to struggle with leaving it, I never bought into it as a child, the challenge back then was being a closet atheist at a time when religiosity was high and I didn't even grow up in the Bible Belt, times have certainly changed, I was a pretty open atheist by the 1980s.
Did you grow up 8n a religious household?
@@JaysonT1 Yes, though my parents were liberal Catholics but Catholicism was forced on me including Catholic school. I asked a lot of questions, it made no sense, I got a lot of non-answers and called BS on it without ever really buying into it. Also at the time, the 1960s, there was no access to info on atheism, I don't think I even knew my disbelief had that term until I was in my teens.
I compare this to a person in a abusive relationship that whats to escape but depends totally on the abuser to survive. No education, no economic income, no friends to go to. They find the courage and take the decision to leave and the first thing the abuser will say is; you will not survive with out me. The person struggles to survive and people will tell them that you should of stayed with the abuser. Years later this person progress in every way possible showing that they made the right decision. Those people that criticize the person vanished from this persons life. Sadly this is how it works and this is how you lose “friends” after you show them that they where wrong.
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will often be lonely, and sometimes frightened. But no price is to high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." Friedrich Nietzsche
Thank you for talking about this.
It's this sort of thing that got me interested in atheism advocacy.
My departure was about as uneventful as things can get. There wasn't even some big dramatic realization. It was just a slow, quiet distancing.
I was pretty laissez faire about it until I started finding people who were really hurt by these types of beliefs. Then someone I was talking to mentioned something along the lines of "Some people just need religion." At the time I just nodded along but the statement stuck with me and quickly grew into a question, "Do they?"
I keep trying to find these people who supposedly "need religion" and I can't find them.
What I find are isolated people with no other social outlet. People who are too scared to look anywhere else for the things their church provides. People who have tied their sense of identity to their church group. And a host of similar scenarios. These organizations claim monopolies on people's social lives and they claim ownership on all kinds of things that they had and have no part in. All to keep people tied into the group.
It's all really gross and stunting for so many people.
As I listen to this for at least the 5th time, I’m so comforted and assured that I’m going to be alright. Thanks again for your videos. Love and light to you and your family.
You're a brave bold intelligent and confident women
that's really nice, thank you
@@jezebelvibes You'll have to remove all of these videos at some point.
God, is a human construct. "You have to understand that most people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on the system, that they will fight to protect it." Morpheus The Matrix
Good luck if you are willing to bet your soul on it .
@@RocketKirchner Don't be a dick.
@@RocketKirchner You my friend are inept at judging anyone.
Thank you so much for this. It’s been a lot on my mind recently. We left our church two years ago, and a few months before that our pastor commented, regarding someone else who’d left, that “people are never happier after they leave”. For a long time after I left, I was determined to prove him wrong. I’ve now reached a point where I couldn’t care less what he thinks about it
I find my thoughts doing this. Lost my truck recently, and the family i went NC with has been buzzing around. Walking 40 min to a physical job and 40 min back, looking over my shoulder everywhere for dad's car... I sometimes think this is God's punishment, that im some awful person. But then i remember that im someone who still relatively recently just got away from a lifetime of abuse, still living in the same city as them - of course im going to be having a rough time
I'm glad you got away but are having a rough time. It's ok to struggle. It's ok to not be ok. You're doing a hard thing.
One thing is for certain…love is not the lifeblood of Christianity.
Sadly, no. There are people within that institution that are loving and have that ideal, but the institution itself allows for a lot more, including a lot of exclusive and numb nastiness.
It’s the lifeblood of the real Christ not Christianity .
@@RocketKirchner Which real Christ? There are different variations depending upon the cultist you’re talking to.
It’s so comforting to have a like minded community here, with people who really understand the experience from the inside out. You really hit the nail on the head every time!
YES!!! I love these videos so much.
Along with the occasional troll who threatens us all with Hell.
Actually, I'm starting to think that anyone trying to promote such belief systems are automatically trolls.
Congratulations on rapidly approaching 1 million views. 🎉
I think you should have your first live Q&A session once you hit 1 million views. 🙂
Great content thank you Kristy
Glad you think so!
Do not fear death, or an afterlife, fear living poorly.
And if it's the other way around we'll regret atheism
@@FamilyIsGone I won't! Have you read who the god in the bible is? I would never want to spend an eternity with such a childish, incompetent and evil entity.
@@FamilyIsGone I think even just in life, attempting to live without the idea that all humans are terrible beings that have to spend their lives making up for it -- is a real contribution to the planet.
@sundayoliver3147 most humans are horrible and bad people they just hide it I mean humans judge others by looks subconsciously and neglect the ugly
@@FamilyIsGone "And if it's the other way around we'll regret atheism" Not necessarily, in any case, its a pascal wager notion. It not Atheism versus YHWH. It's atheism versus God(s). Perhaps God wants skeptics in heaven.
I needed to hear this. Thanks Kristi.
You are so welcome!
@@jezebelvibes Nope you need God not a godless alone person that give you empty words that will not be useful in your miserable alone life. you are a lier, as any Goddenier.
Nope you need God not a godless alone person that give you empty words that will not be useful in your miserable alone life. you are a lier, as any Goddenier.
Thank you for your honesty. My decision to leave christianity was tough, but preferable to forcing myself to lie to myself and others if I stayed. A fundamental shift was recognising that the christian construct of a world full of original sin that required redeeming is a lie and that to believe it to be true christians have to adopt a pessimistic viewpoint. Whatever my problems may be, I think human experience is so much more beautiful without the taint of religion
So well put. That is the part that got me unwinding a lot -- even though I'd left Christianity behind long ago, I was still indoctrinated with that teaching. And in fact anyone who goes through Western European education does get that indoctrination-- that education has its roots in the Church, and was formed by it.
THere is a difference between being pessimistic and being realistic Homo Sapiens has had 300,000 years to get things right, the world is still in a mess and shows no sign of getting better. For me, the hope of redemption in Jesus trumps the false hope of humanism. Human experience is even more beautiful when you are living daily in the loving arms of God.
Thank you for this. Thank you for sharing your experience. I really appreciate your channel. ❤😊
This is a conversation that should happen more. I have been slowly deconstructing for years. Mental health concerns and struggles were all blamed on not surrendering to God enough. Thank you for sharing Part of your story.
I feel like my experience was way easier becoming an atheist. My parents are christians but they didn't indoctrinated me or "forced me" into their religion. They only started to teach me about this things after I was old enough to understand the world and stuff. I'll always be thankful for them choosing not to brainwashing me.
That said, I must say its not ease living in a country with an overwhelming majority of people being christians. To the point where I actually avoid to the max coming out as atheist.
My mum was a christian and my dad was a muslim (luckily for me he wasn't a "good" muslim), but as soon as I was old enough to be left home alone on Sundays, my mum didn't make me go to church.
As the bible was anathema to me as soon as I was old enough to understand what was being preached, and was thoroughly sick of the evil farce long before then, that was a relief.
I was deliberately late the last 2 years of school, as I could no longer take the nauseating bullshit of chapel anymore.
I left Christianity over 20 years ago, and I've had a burden lifted. I feel free to do my own thinking without feeling ashamed because of not feeling judged for something that I had no control over.
This has been an exhausting process and I'm only a year into my deconstruction/deconversion. Not even sure at this point. It hurts and I'm not even sure how I feel about it anymore. I feel a bit an ease but there's just a lot of hurt. I'm proud that I'm being honest about it though and I'm moving on despite it the trauma. Hopefully it gets better. Thanks for expressing yourself and empathizing about the trauma of the journey.
I struggled with my faith but still believed. It wasn't until around my senior year of highschool/slightly after that I started calling myself an atheist. I saw the rude reactions in the way christians responded to a kid in my school who commit suicide.
I started calling myself an atheist, but i was "in the closet" from the start of covid and my senior year, the pain of not being able to be honest about it out of fear of losing relationships is freighting and it only builds up to make things worse. It needs to be talked about more! I'm glad these topics are being mentioned more! Thankyou Kristi!! 💚
Had already been slowly pulling away from the church for several years but ever since George Floyd's murder and the blankets statements from church's of 'thoughts & prayers', I was done. Who knew breaking away from the church would make me realize my parents were narcissist and shortly afterward went no contact.
The Abrahamic god now strikes me as narcissitic, too. So maybe that's why so many who are deeply involved in religion become that way.
I converted years ago and have gradually been deconstructing over the course of several months. Perhaps because I wasn't raised in religion, I feel that this process has been a bit easier than most.
Viewing other cultures, other religions, and hearing the life experiences of people from all walks of life, brought me to the conclusion that every religion is imperfect and incomplete, including the church.
I'm still figuring out what exactly I believe. I believe there is a greater purpose to our lives and higher power, but no religion so far has satisfied my need for a lack of contradiction. No religion feels "right." I respect those who practice (most) religions, but I'm not willing to devote myself to any organization that demands I denounce the truth I've discovered through months of research and exploration.
It's really nice to see that there's a community of people here at various stages of their deconstruction journey, where everyone can find empathy and support.
Thanks for this video, Kristi. When I left Christianity, the only thing I really missed was the fellowship, but I had also been so emotionally abused by church members. It did cause a crisis for me and I went through months of depression. BTW, I received my 'Bigotry Isn't Cute" t-shirt recently and I love it! Wore it out today in my deep fundamentalist town and got a lot of stares and glares. Loved it lol
Thank you so much for your order! I'm happy you like your shirt- and loving that you're boldly wearing it around town 😅 I live in a small bible belt town, too. I definitely get looks when I wear my shirts out lol!!
You have so much wisdom to be so young. I'm a truck driver. I stumbled on to your channel and you really said what I needed to hear. Thank you for that. I was raised in the "Holy roller" type church. We were in church 3 to 7 days a week. I was 5 years old when we began going to this Pentecostal church. I can remember people trying to cast demons out of a guy. I was told, with several young people, to go outside until the demons were cast out. I was scared to death! Exorcisms were done on a regular basis. This is nothing more than child abuse! I'm 63 years old and I have been in therapy for the past 20 years or so. You said it so well when you said it is "Unpacking the indoctrination." I call it brainwashing. But you said it much better. I was in that cult like nonsense until I was 18 years old.
Thank you for this.
I’m fairly sure all the years I spent in Christianity contributed to my BPD.
I resonate with this video SO MUCH.
I as well! Free at last, free at last!
I have been binge watching your videos for the last week. I have been held captive by my Christian upbringing for 36 years of my life. I have been dealing with my crisis of faith for about the last 5 years but I feel so much comfort watching your videos knowing I am not alone. I do feel free now, but experience the emotional baggage from time to time.
I did not have the ability to articulate my thoughts as well as you have done but you really have captured the sentiment.
Thank you for being you and being so vocal.
I deconstructed forty years ago, and went through the loss of community and fear of God's wrath and loneliness and all of those effects you name. I was in a cult that went through a ceremony when someone "fell away" of turning your flesh over to the "devil" so that one of three things would happen: You'd be killed by God before you could sin too much to be irredeemable, or you'd experience all kinds of hardships so you'd come crawling back to the church, or nothing would happen, which meant you hadn't been really saved or loved by God in the first place. I've gone through a journey where I am very happy with not having all my questions answered, and continuing to learn and grow as a human. But, my two sisters are still in fundamentalist branches of protestant churches, and they judge me as defective and an "unbeliever" and more so because I'm gay and they don't approve of that, religiously speaking. I just spent a week with them for a vacation for the first time in many years, and they let some judgmental stuff slip and I was just ready for them to go home! I started listening to your stuff as well as Mythvision and other deconstructionists, and also some people who left the same cult I was in and who have shown the false teachings in that group. It's all very supportive. But then I started to have some physical problems, and scary financial things happen, and I'm right back at, "maybe God is punishing me because I'm listening to these deconstructionist messages." It's always there in the back of your mind, I think. Ugh.
Also decades into this (over 50 years) and I'm in the process of deconstructing the punishment thing. it has become clear to me from rereading some biblical stories that the Abrahamic god is all about punishment. "Do what I want or you'll be punished." "I'm the one who decides who gets killed, tortured, or enslaved; better please me or that will be you." What I'm realizing is that these stories were written by men who wanted people to obey them. So they set up a whole system that teaches us to make that fear of punishment internal, and, what's more, persuades us that punishment actually makes us better. But when does punishment actually make people better?
Thank you for this content. I’m several years out from deconstructing and leaving the faith. I’m still doing so much work to regain my identity as my own person and build self esteem after being told my whole life how I was inherently evil and sinful ( not true), that I had no identity or value outside of Christ. So damaging.
This was a beautiful video ❤️ It was so validating and comforting. Thank you for all of the work you put into your channel to help people like us ❤️
It's a process. This kind of change can be terrifying. Plus depending on the church you may lose contact friends and family. Stay strong!
Very well said! I am grateful not to need this for myself, but thank you for doing this for those who need it. (Costa Rica? Woot!)
I appreciate your support! We moved back to the states at the end of '21 but the year we spent there was incredible! It is such a beautiful country with rich culture and so many genuinely good people
I'm on my third day, it's being weird I feel guilty for not doing what I used to do, but I understand that this is part of the journey. I'm kind afraid of some punishment, but at the same time I remember that I don't know the truth, I passed years praying to have faith and I didn't get it and if I asked someone they would say God have his own time, but for me is too convenient God having his time to do something that He himself said that we should do to be saved, I was catholic and this is what I learned, so as soon as I was losing my faith I star to pray only to have faith, don't ask for anything else, don't asked for a good job, a wife or anything that is also good to ask for, I just prayed for faith and last friday I just stopped everything, because I passed years fighting alone to not lose my faith and praying didn't help me to achieve faith. I punished myself for too long, for a God that only other people told me about Him, but when I asked to be saved I had no response from Him, I just asked for what He wants me to ask for and even then I got nothing and started to question if He is real or if He want to save me, because as a catholic they say God choose people to do His will and so, God have his favorites that He granted with unshakable faith and grace and I wasn't helped even when I asked to have faith, a chosen one don't need to do nothing to be saved, while I had to beg for years and don't be answered, so I conclude that this God either don't exist or he didn't care about some people.
If you notice, there's a lot of stuff in both the old and new testaments about the "elite" and the-- rest of us. As if that's a natural result of religion, to have a small group who are winners and a large group who are the losers they can treat any way they please. It's helped me a lot to learn that "Yahweh" was originally one of a pantheon of about 80 Canaanite gods - Yahweh was the war god. And over the course of putting together the Torah/Old Testament, Yahweh became the one god. But his nature didn't seem to change: still a war god. Still about winners and losers. Still about who pleases the volatile war god by obeying all his rules -- or else.
I think we humans can do better than that, and I support you in making that experiment, because to me it's an experiment that will help build a kinder and more livable world.. Trying to meet perfectionist standards that, at bottom, didn't really fit me, almost killed me.
@bibletrivialistsandstats I'm open to it, I doubt it could change my mind, but maybe you can have a good argument.
There is a tradition in Catholic mystic literature that is called the dark night of the soul . We don’t feel a thing . But we press on and love others no matter what . This is what God requires and he loves us all .
@bibletrivialistsandstats Thank you for trying, but I'm still not convinced, like I know it's a huge cliche, but why this miracle happened to her but not happened something to save kids starving in Africa? Or those kids with incurable diseases? If you search on TH-cam there is kids with horrible incurable diseases, why those kids are not healed? They are probably Christians as well, but maybe they can't go to church on Sundays because their lives are more complicated and as kids they have no clue on what to do and their parents have to work hard to sustain the treatment these kids need, why God save this woman, but made a kid with a incurable disease? I know you might say Gos have his mysterious way, but I don't understand. But even if we don't talk about kids starving or having incurable disease, why our world is Ruled by evil people? Like Putin is killing innocent Ukrainians by the thousands, our west leaders are just perpetuating this war by not helping Ukraine in a meaningful way, also what about the wars in Africa? What about people dying by not be submitted to China's communist ideology? Or where I live, Brazil, here is so wild that after 8pm is not recommended walk on the street, and this is because I live in the richest city in Brazil, our supreme court and president always do things to keep us poor, here you go to the collage and graduate to have a similar life of a McDonald's employee or even worse and nothing work here. I don't understand why saving here would change my mind, because my mom said that my grandmother spent 10 years in bed and doctor didn't know what to do or what it was, she was catholic her whole life and one day my mom said that a woman that practice umbanda came to her house and made some ritual and out nowhere my grandmother begun to walk again after 10 years, I don't believe that was the result of the ritual, but to me is the same that happened to Delia Roman Knox, but from a different religion, I believe that was a placebo effect.
@bibletrivialistsandstats I'm no longer a christian so I don't believe in supernatural events, maybe the case of Delia Knox works for you, but doesn't for me and I respect your view, but this is not enough evidence, because as I said my grandmother passed through the same thing and a decade later she did a umbanda ritual and start to walk again. A placebo effect don't need anything real, those who are the placebo group use fake pills, fake injections and even fake surgery so this could be the case of Delia and my grandmother
The part that gets me when you leave the faith is the guilt. If someone loves you and wants the best for you, when they see you make decisions for yourself that you think will be good for you and you’re moving in a different direction, they should be happy for you.
If you see someone you love is with a bad partner you don't celebrate when they move in together. Or someone might really think their illicit side hustle is good, or that party drugs are harmless fun, but you can see the harm in it.
Loving someone doesn't mean you always think they are making good choices.
Some people don't really know how to be kind to the person they care about in those situations. Maybe call it overprotective. And yes an overprotective attitude can be very damaging, but it's not the same as malice.
Why would they be happy foryou rejecting the free gift of eternal life and choosing not to believe? Thats a sad occasion and it will not go well at the judgement after you die. It’s not too late to repent and accept Jesus.
Thank you for your transparency. You are incredibly brave and I’m proud of all the progress you’ve made through your journey so far. I hear you and I see you.
Love every one of your videos. Thank you so much for sharing your story, I know how many years it took for you to get to a place where you could speak so openly and freely. Just know that you have a large community of fans and those who have experienced similar stories who find you as an inspiration for the encounter with nuance, juxtaposition, and storm system that leaving Christianity can really be like. Thank you.
This video was crafted with perfection! I absolutely love what you have to say Kristi. I recently made the decision to leave the church as a young 17 year old. What really did it for me was learning about what Isaiah 45:7 says. This verse led me to lots of questions that eventually moved me to a position in life where I lost my faith.
You are an awesome lovable person krisrie the church wants the people to depend completely on the church you like such strong woman of course the christian members of you're family would tell you it is because you left the church we are supposed to be nothing without the church love you're videos kristie awesome video
Kristi, thanks a lot for sharing. The points you made in this vlog were very important not just for those deconstructing to hear, but also for those still in the Church. It is ok, not to be ok. Thanks again for sharing.
Thank you, Kristi!❤️❤️
This was a beautiful video, you’ve never made a bad one. I do love when you just talk about mental health during the journey. So sorry about your A/C.😳 I’m in Texas too.🥵
I started this journey 10 years ago and although I always put on a smiley face, I recently realised I have a lot of anger in my heart. Unresolved anger. Lots of it. Towards the church.
Everything you talked about in this video is synonymous with what I went through getting off of heroin. I started young, 14 yrs old. It was who I was as a person and my identity and it was all I knew. The only thing I had to get me through the day.
After 30 years I got clean during the pandemic and at 51 I've had to unpack the emotional baggage. Lost all my friends.
Lots of people at narcotics anonymous will say, thank God for this or that and they just switched from one drug to another (God/religion) I did all this hard work and therapy on my own. I'm not giving an imaginary deity credit for that.
Peace and blessings to all who see this. 💕
That is such an interesting and, I think, apt comparison. And congratulations for finding your way to a new identity, I know it isn't easy because I'm in that process myself.
@@sundayoliver3147I really appreciate that.thank you. 2.5 years clean and sober.
👏👏👏 I love this. Thank you for sharing and for the peace and blessings. 💕 back to you
Your Videos help me SO MUCH!!! Thank you!!
As an an Ex-Christian from a very religious family, I feel like I have to try extra hard to be good and live and clean life. I also dealt with depression most of my life and feel that I have to hide my sadness from them or they’ll think my depression and sin is what caused me to leave Christianity. I tell them over and over it that’s its a purely intellectual decision that I made after a few years of finally deciding to question and study the other side of things. Idk, I’m just alone in a world of anger and annoyance. I can’t relate to anyone around me. But anywho, love the channel. At least I have channels like this to watch.
I can relate to this so much!
I had a dream last night. I was outside my old church walking around with my family and there was a bunch of Christians there just hanging out, and there was this little boy singing one of my favorite hymns and I turned to my family and said "He knows all the words." And I felt happy and sad in my dream. I loved my religion and the music and the people, but I do not believe anymore, and I know it was causing me so much hurt staying in. I was convinced I'd die at a young age due to all the stress I had of being a repressed homosexual with a poor social life. I am on my third week from having left Christianity and I almost had an emotional breakdown at work today thinking about the dream. This is difficult, and let me say this: I wish it had been true.
Your story really puts into context the “You just want to sin” comments.
The concept of “sin” was made up to control people. It is immoral, very damaging and illogical.
Here's how it works; _pretend_ that being Human and Normal is a problem, then _pretend_ that there will be huge consequences if you fail to not be Human (which is, of course, impossible), THEN PRETEND that you've got a solution (which, of course, includes paying money to a church, and giving up some autonomy, thus giving those who promote the con _more power over you)._
It is so hugely manipulative a concept that I starting to think that spreading it to others should be a criminal offence.
What?
I was through some fairly mild depressions as a christian and after leaving christianity, I had a more severe depression that required treatment for about half a year.
After that was cured, I haven't had a single depression in 20 years!
I don't have to struggle constantly any more with every thought I percieve as 'rebellious' or 'sinful' or things like that.
Or rationalise to myself how genocide and slavery was ok, even morally, in the olden times, because times was shitty!
And I'm not an atheist so I can sin, I think I do less things a christian would percieve as sinful now than I did as a christian. Partly because increased maturity, I guess, but also partly because there is some topics of thought I don't have to constantly grind in my thoughts, and what's not in your mind isn't really a temptation. Those are passing thoughts now, when they once was a thought trapped in a giant labyrinth of mental blocks, percieved divine commands and dogmas.
Mentally, leaving was easy after working 8 years in an industry where your days off are on weekdays. Just getting out of the habit of going to church and losing contact with those folks, provided the mental break to give one the space to reevaluate your world.
I had a very similar experience. The worst part to me was the fear tactics they used to keep people from leaving. I am kind of a loner, so I wasn't part of the community, but I was so afraid for a long time that I made a mistake, and all of the pain I was experiencing was punishment from God. I am now genuinely happier than I ever was as a Christian. I still have my problems, but I can never see myself going back.
Your video is very interesting so far. I will have to finish later today. I was raised christian but am disillusioned with it & the tv evangelists/properity preachers & all the bs.
All of which have nothing to do with the Christ of gospels .
@@RocketKirchnerhow do you know that?
@@RocketKirchner Correct, for the Gospels it is best if you read them side by side.
@@RocketKirchner Or the one, who stayed, very, very, quiet, during the blood libel, on medieval Jews... a 350ish year, slave trade, in Christendom... and an Inquisition, in Spain... mind?
Or so, it can often, appear. Object-ively? Well, frequently.
Hi Krista, great video. My struggles I realize is not what I believe or not believe it is my brain. I was diagnosed severely ADHD in my early 50s. When I told the people in the Sunday school some of them said " are you getting therapy? Others said " you are possessed by the Demon ADHD.!" That was over 10 years ago and I have not been back to church since. Right I don't know what I believe or don't believe. Thank you for helping me and others.
Your videos are great. You are very smart lady. Keep doing the great work you do.
Thank you for this video! It's refreshing to know I'm not alone in wondering "did I make the right choice leaving "the church", ultimately the Christian cult! Yesterday something good happened a d my 1st thought was "praise God". Then I thought, "No! I did that. I put in the time and effort and 'I' made that good thing happen!
Anxiety has been a frequent (and unwelcome) part of my life so I really hear you. But the fairy tales of Guardian Angels and the Good Boogieman in the Sky are impediments, rather than comforts. Life is hard and life is sad for everyone.
If you think that following Christ is a cop out for comfort you have not read the gospels . Seeking to follow him means you better look good on wood .
So aptly put, and of course very true. The bible is pure mythology, and should be put on the shelf with other fairy book stories for children. The Yahudi tribe really has disabled millions of peoples minds over the years, so sad.
I really appreciate your ability to articulate your feelings and the reality of leaving behind relationships and community. It is really difficult. Especially in small communities.
Hi Kristi! I can relate to your experience. I was brought up in a strict RCC family and had some good spiritual experiences, but I couldn't get it to stick for me. I struggled with sensual desires and the theology didn't make logical sense to me and no one could provide a good explanation. At one point I just told God that I was becoming a free agent because the RCC didn't make sense to me. It was actually the most terrifying decision I ever made but as time went by I started to feel a lot happier and I felt no inclination to return to organized Christianity. I still believed in God and was grateful for my life but that was it. Fast forward 11 years and I experienced a powerful spiritual awakening by Christ that was completely unexpected. Since that time 2.5 years ago I've been going through a lot of healing and I'm very happy to say I've been healed of fornication among other things. I've also received a ton of guidance to answer my questions that were part of the reasons I left the RCC. I now know that God lives in your heart and not a building and that there's so much more to spirituality then we've been taught or that people even know. My mind is being blown regularly, and I absolutely love my relationship with God now. I will pray that something amazing happens for you as well! ⚡😀
What is RCC?
@@undrwatropium3724 Roman Catholic Church
Can you say more, on the spiritual awakening part, @PM-xy5yg ?
There do seem, to be many of those - but also, across a fairly... wide, spectrum, too, thus far.
@@chrissonofpear1384 Sure! It was an amazing experience that actually took place over two different days. The first day I started experiencing really strong emotions within the core of my chest that were being activated by an external force. It started with very deep sobbing, that I can't ever recall crying like that before. The crying lasted for a few minutes before transitioning into a deep laughter which would last for a few minutes and then switch back to the sobbing. This cycle lasted maybe half an hour. It actually felt quite cathartic but it didn't feel like it belonged to me in some strange way. There's another aspect to my spiritual awakening that I won't get into the details on or I would have to write a book! 😂 I'll just say that it would be considered as a twin flame activation that was done remotely and not in person. Two days later it started happening again Some external power was filling up my body with energy and it actually felt really good. However the energy continued to increase until I actually had to lie down on the floor. The intensity continued to increase until I pretty much no longer had much control over my body and was at the mercy of this power. Although it did feel really good it was quite intimidating. I have had some spiritual experiences when I was younger and I believed in God so I wasn't completely shocked that something like this could happen. My body continued filling up with light and energy until I felt myself merge with my spiritual being (now that was a surprise). I knew it was me right away and I discovered also that I was a fallen angel. God was revealing who I really was. When my spiritual self merged I became very defiant with God and started expressing my hatred for him (I didn't even know I hated him but it was embedded in my soul). I started struggling and fighting against his energy even though it felt really good. The experience continued to intensify to the point that I thought I would perish several times because my body would vaporize from the energy. God was sending waves of energy and light into me as I was laying on the floor. It felt so intensely pleasurable and sensual. I don't think it would be possible to experience more pleasure than what I experienced without being destroyed. I would describe the experience as being ravished by God. It was probably the best experience I've ever had since God created me. 😂 I've actually craved that experience ever since. I'm not going to share all the details of the interaction and the tons of stuff that happened since because too much information. I would definitely highly recommend reaching out to God for guidance since he's definitely real and you don't want to miss your salvation offer provided by Jesus. I'm very grateful God did that for me and so I pray he can do amazing things for other people too. ⚡✌️
@@PM-xy5yg Well, that does ring a few bells - I never had the waves of pleasure thing.
Sometimes it was peaceful, other times more disturbing.
But I hardly got any clear communication out of it, at all - and mostly, insomnia.
For quite, a while. Left quite ambiguous.
But yes it was not quite... earthly. Kun-d-alini level, at least...
It's the guidance bit, also - I have trouble with.
For the planet has been FESTOONED with apparent messages... with 'channeling' and alleged 'possessions' and books and messages, and 'prophecies' etc. Particularly since 1970 - and many hard to assess, in terms of credibility or consistency.
Pretty much all the prophecies fizzled out, however.
Hence my general guardedness, about this - despite experiencing a fairly close, approximation to this, some decade ago.
So more info is needed - including what... guidance... occurred in days of blood libel, Inquisition, and slave trade.
And how real Adam and Eve really were - or if they could 'give' anything, to a possibly allegorical - and possibly not - mad, disloyal angel. Especially, a world...
Oh, and some... thoughts on 2 Samuel 12... verses 15, to 18... may be informative.
Too. As sometimes, hatred grows over time... as does, mistrust.
And may also not have anything to do, with purported pre-incarnate, statuses.
Since becoming an Atheist, I have found more peace, joy and happiness than I have my entire life. It took years but I am now authentically me. Your words in this video could not have been more perfect and more true. You are awesome!
I really needed to hear this, tysm! We need more videos like this one :)
YES!!!
Saw this yesterday, and it really hit home. 😮
The biggest hurdle for the everyday Christian (not the evangelists, Jehovah's Witnesses, etc-the "normal" Christian) is wrestling with the fact that their life here and now is all there is. That when you die, you return to the earth and that's that. This existential quandary is the entire reason religions exist ultimately and it can be very difficult for people to accept.
I beg to differ : the biggest hurdle was laid out by SOCRATES when he said that the unexamined life is not worth living and that the Christ of the New Testament promises a cross with no flowery words to follow him in faith in the here and now .
Thank you, this is a very good message, as I’m going through deconstruction, I cannot avoid to feel like an “orphan”. Every other Christian around, including Pastors can only point me back to “the scripture” and it’s very hard to communicate to them, that is exactly how my process started, when I understood how such “scripture” got into my hands, how those translations, including “King James” in English and “Reyna Valera” in Spanish, were made and chosen for us. It has been a hard couple of weeks. 😢
Beautiful!!😊😉🙃
i've never heard somebody put this into words... i love your videos. thank you so much for talking about this topic, and about your deconstruction in general. it's affected me so greatly, in such an important and positive way.
If you cage a bird its whole life, it can forget how to fly.
I can't express how much I appreciate these videos. I never knew I needed someone to talk about religious trauma the way you do. I unfortunately had an argument with my mom about me being transgender and there was so much pain behind it all and how my mom tried so hard to tell me that my decision and transition is unnatural etc etc. as much as it hurt I don't want to be angry with her for how she is. I don't even want to be angry with her faith. I just want to live in peace. I am happy being atheist, I'm happy living how I live and I am so so so grateful for your videos. They bring me so much comfort, I can't stop watching. I hope your deconstruction journey has continued to be fruitful. Thank you Kristi.
I have to say, if you can’t figure out whether or not god is testing you or satan is attacking you, perhaps god isn’t as good of a guy as people make him seem. What kind of good god would “test” you so severely that you weren’t sure if god was doing it or the devil was doing it? Lol
This! The struggle is truly real 😩
Thank you for uploading this! Trying to get enough courage to tell my parents I no longer believe. It’s been hard because I know the reaction will be very dramatic and emotional, but I need to think about myself in this.
i count myself LUCKY that i didn’t go through some emotional and/or psychological trauma when becoming an atheist. so i do applaud and admire those who had to go through quite a lot to leave a harmful religion.
i was a catholic at one point. but through reasoning and logic i did deconstruct through a slow transition. though it took decades.
my last belief was that god (or what i generalized as some supernatural creator of some sort) was actually female and that religion was irrelevant.
but at some point, it just didn’t make sense anymore for a god to exist.
it probably helped that as someone who is a scientist/engineer, i’m more like Spock than Dr. McCoy.
For me, the word "god" tends to mean some humanoid being, which I find pretty reductionist in a harmful way. The power that runs the universe cannot be squished into human form. And the power that runs the universe doesn't want to be worshipped, it wants to be recognized and find collaborators in us. Dr. Spock included!
@@sundayoliver3147
and how do you know that?
I really appreciate this video. I honestly started being honest about my beliefs about Christianity and it's been lonely at times, but necessary. I don't feel like a liar anymore and it's been great. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety while still in my faith, so I relate to what you say here. Thank you
Sounds like a tough time when you were 19. At least you met your husband around that time. ❤
Thank you so much for this video. It can definitely be shocking and depressing when you have lived your entire life believing that there will be an afterlife of paradise and then realizing that it may not actually be true.