Ty for your point on radio silence 🔕 Coach. I had a former therapist lecture me about the concept of it. "It doesn't matter, you're not on his radar." Very obnoxious to me because: 1 Nice to assume what's in his head of her. 2 Maybe she's right: in that case I lose nothing. 3 The point is to disappear, her shaming is ironic. 4 radio silence is a respectful & mature move.
You sit there leave that contract on volunteer at the homeless shelter for 120 days they just don't care walk off without paying any rent end homeless sort of okay go home ?
WE UP guys! was together for 2 years had the best time together, stay the course. it was a month for and a week or two. i broke no contact but i wrote knowing it would be my last and now taking it slow. no contact has really helped because it highlighted everything good and bad in the relationship, with knowing that you owe it to you and yourself to work on being a better version hope this helps
I've been very emotional and depressed the past month. My Ex has been in a new relationship for a month and its like a dagger in my stomach. I've only pleaded once when I last saw her 3 weeks ago. I also called her about her mail and then forwarded it to her. Since then I've been in NC for 8 days. Today I was tempted to reach out, because I miss her so bad and I can't get her out of my head and even dreams. This video is definitely preventing from reaching out and destroying my progress of NC. She's in a new relationship, so reaching out would blow up in my face, because the new relationship is only a month in. Thanks for talking me of breaking NC today. Coach Ken is my Hero!
Glad you mentioned narcism. People and medical providers feel it’s becoming an epidemic. The more you can address or if narcissistic DONt apply to what your talking about please tell us not to do what your speaking about. A lot of people are in pain do to them. Think if you know much about the subject and with your ways of explaining think more people would love to learn.
It’s three weeks radio silence for me after trying no consent and keeps breadcrumbing me. He says a part of him still loves me but not as much as when he started , he wants to keep me in his life until he feels ready to come back but still doesn’t want me to wait for him… I’m like this man is playing games with me. Now I blocked him everywhere and I’m still going strong on it and I’m proud of it
I made a mistake. One of the stupidest things I made was talking to her friends and seeking answers about the break up. My only way to win her back is to follow the no contact rule. I still love her. I need your advice. I'm doomed😢
Did the same thing for the first day. Realized it was pointless. I heard from her 1 week in no contact (just how are u) but nothing since. It’s been 45 days now. Best advice I’ll give u is use the pain and fuel it towards becoming a man or women that no one would want to leave. Analyze where you messed up (needy, prioritizing them over your life goals, argumentative, not affectionate enough, etc.) practice changing these things by implementing it with your friends and family. Focus on your healing. Hobbies etc. It’ll be ok. Either they’ll be back or you’ll find someone better.
@@NorthstarcarcareLLC thanks for the advice. It sucked because she dumped me like a piece of garbage. Before the break up, I already planned for a surprise proposal but, I didn't expect that she would dump me. She kept on asking me if I had plans for our future and I said yes! I actually told her that we need to prepare ourselves first before settling down. She should consider that I had obligations that I need to fulfill to my daughter. She should consider that I am not yet financially stable so is she. She kept on pressuring me about the marriage. She wouldn't even understand that I am preparing for our better future. I want to give her the best in life.
Sounds like good advice. Been giving less and less F’s about her. I like her but I don’t have the same romantic interest in a relationship with someone who doesn’t feel the same.
My boyfriend is out of state working for the past 4 months and he only came to visit me twice. We had a fight over the phone and he says it's over because I told him don't come back . I didn't mean it because we fight alot and don't mean anything. He says its over and he's not coming back to ne ever again. He says my manipulation won't work in him. I love him and want him back. He is an immigrant from venezuela and he say he going back to his country in a few months and my fear is not ever seeing him again. I don't want to lose him. We broke up last year and made back up 2 months after. I think he serious this time and wants to leave again. He hasn't blocked me but he's ignoring my calls and messages. What to do? I'm going out my mind and I'm reliving my heartbreak all over again.
For others my quiet bpd has started posting more on mutual friends Like Coach says first thing I did was get excited then I thought naw just coincident. She hadn’t posted or replied to their post in months almost a year.
@Coack Ken thank you for responding to my previous question. After I watched your video.I decided I will go no contact, starting today. Hopefully he will notice and reach out to me. I am nervous about doing this. But I feel, I have no choice. Seeing that he is starting to do it again. Any tips?
Don't fight anxiety when you miss him or hurt but don't let it make you second guess or trust that voice telling you, you need to do something to win him back. Let him have the full weight of your absence.
Hi coach Ken, It's been five months of no contact i feel i have no hope i feel if i give my safe hope and now it's been so long it will hurt more . I'm finding hard to move on one min i'm yes i don't want you back then the next i'm crying wanting him back . Like you he was an old boy friend from when i was 19 we broke up because he was going though a lot . I found this out then we met up 25 years later. we have both lost are partners ,i lot my 6 years ago his was two but he said he was ready to move on. cut a long story short it seem like he was not when we first got together he had problems with his leg to later find out it was cancer, i was being supportive and wanted to be their for him. but he started to pull away and say he misses his wife and his feelings have changed. he said he adored me which i think was mean as i hold on to that thinking he will be back.
Please help 🙏🏼 Sir my ex use to love me a lot she is very humble we were from different colleges and her friends didn't like me. So she slowly started losing feelings for me and one day told me it's over and she don't feel the same. I cried and even begged she got irritated and avoidant. I really love her she was so special to me. Please help me what should I do. It has been 6 months of no contact but nothing is happening. She is still not texting nor Calling. I will die without her. Please help me what should I do. 💔💔
GREAT QUESTION - and surprisingly YES - it definitely does still work. Unless it's a psychopath or sociopath and then no, because they aren't motivated or operate on the same principles
The last conversation I had with my ex before I left was terrible I said alot of bad things just to get reaction this was 4weeks ago I now know it was because whilst living there waiting to move out my ex became distant and stopped speaking to me which hurt because they dumped me.what should I do ?
What if he calls to see how I am and I tell him that I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me and then ask me directly if I've moved on? Or if I tell him a few of the things you suggested, he may ask if I've moved on. Is that possible? I guess just play it by ear.
You can do No Contact and still post on Social Media engaging in life - Radio Silence is when you're doing No Contact to the point they don't know what you're doing, where you are, what you're thinking.
I haven't watched yet but I already know it will be a masterclass 👌 Could you do a video eventually about BPD who went back with their ex "sexfriend" to get some stability and heal their anxiety Ken please? And if it could still be considered as a rebound if they were never really in love with them? Also they have just started therapy for BPD because they realized their problems... How long until the treatment is effective and could this work with the ex? Thank you so much for your great content
Coach Ken, do you have any suggestions on what you mentioned about if you were the dumper, your ex felt the loss, but then after the dumper reached out to reconcile, and those feelings of loss are gone, then the dumpee no longer wants the dumper. As the dumper, is there anything I can do to get them back? They seem to have been excited to reconnect, but then died off. I don’t know if I should just move on now, or try no contact? Are my chances over because I soothed their loss and boosted his ego and now he no longer wants me? Help!
@Kmahersh01 really sorry to hear that. But how are you doing now? Do you feel regret? Luckily I wasn't the dumper per say. It was mutual! But then an attempt to reconcile had her throw things in my face a little!
@@Zombie101 It’s been 2 years since we broke up and yes, I have definitely felt a lot of regret, but I also know it was the right decision. If he could move on so fast, then he wasn’t the right guy for me and my decision to leave was the right decision. He did drive by my house numerous times for 6 months after the breakup while he was with her. He chose her though and didn’t try to come back to me. I haven’t tried to date anyone else yet, I wanted to take time to heal. I’m getting there!
@Kmahersh01 I'm impressed with you. Even though I don't know who you are, it's good that you're recognising the power of healing before moving to another partner. I feel you about the whole "if they move to someone so quickly they weren't for you" deffo agree with that
I like your videos, but I think its a little dangerous to just accuse some exes of being covert narcissists because they say things like the things you mentioned, like "you deserve someone good". Lets not throw around those words. People dont like breaking up with people they care about and so I guess saying things like that might feel better for them. My ex said stuff like that but I dont think thats an indicator of him being a covert narcissist. I think he just lost feelings and genuinely felt bad about it.
I know - it bothers me every time I see it - but it does illustrate the instinctive reaction to losing connection th-cam.com/video/IeHcsFqK7So/w-d-xo.html
After a break-up, logic and feelings are like oil and water, they don't mix. Ken gets as close as you can to amalgamating them.
Ty for your point on radio silence 🔕 Coach.
I had a former therapist lecture me about the concept of it.
"It doesn't matter, you're not on his radar."
Very obnoxious to me because:
1 Nice to assume what's in his head of her.
2 Maybe she's right: in that case I lose nothing.
3 The point is to disappear, her shaming is ironic.
4 radio silence is a respectful & mature move.
Always appreciate your logical, realistic content Ken
I appreciate the kind words
You sit there leave that contract on volunteer at the homeless shelter for 120 days they just don't care walk off without paying any rent end homeless sort of okay go home ?
@@adaptercrash uu
WE UP guys! was together for 2 years had the best time together, stay the course. it was a month for and a week or two. i broke no contact but i wrote knowing it would be my last and now taking it slow. no contact has really helped because it highlighted everything good and bad in the relationship, with knowing that you owe it to you and yourself to work on being a better version
hope this helps
Did breaking nc help?
NC for me is a win win. She needs to know my value and what she's missing. If she never reaches out, so be it. I'm moving on.
I've been very emotional and depressed the past month. My Ex has been in a new relationship for a month and its like a dagger in my stomach. I've only pleaded once when I last saw her 3 weeks ago. I also called her about her mail and then forwarded it to her. Since then I've been in NC for 8 days. Today I was tempted to reach out, because I miss her so bad and I can't get her out of my head and even dreams. This video is definitely preventing from reaching out and destroying my progress of NC. She's in a new relationship, so reaching out would blow up in my face, because the new relationship is only a month in. Thanks for talking me of breaking NC today. Coach Ken is my Hero!
Update?
I feel the same sad😢and depressed . NC 12 days now I feel horrible . It ended horrible . I hate my life right now
The first 3 months are the hardest, but do not reach out unless they do and follow Coach Ken’s advice. His advice WORKS trust me.
@@ryanminor2334did you work it out with her?
Update. Hoping you moved on and found happiness
Best video you have made…and they are all good! Now I understand these intricacies so much better! Thank you, Coach Ken! xo
Glad you mentioned narcism. People and medical providers feel it’s becoming an epidemic. The more you can address or if narcissistic DONt apply to what your talking about please tell us not to do what your speaking about. A lot of people are in pain do to them. Think if you know much about the subject and with your ways of explaining think more people would love to learn.
Awesome video Ken, nailed it!
Thanks Kim!
Very articulate as usual, good video!
Coach Ken you always speak so much sense. I love your videos.
What a coach you are, Sir, I am your admirer from Australia.
It’s three weeks radio silence for me after trying no consent and keeps breadcrumbing me. He says a part of him still loves me but not as much as when he started , he wants to keep me in his life until he feels ready to come back but still doesn’t want me to wait for him… I’m like this man is playing games with me. Now I blocked him everywhere and I’m still going strong on it and I’m proud of it
Any updates?im in same situation now.i just blocked her 2 weeks ago.because she was breadcrumbing me in no contact for 2 months
Thanks for this information. You explain things so clearly.
This is great - wish I would have seen this three years ago!
Thanks Never mind!
You’re always on point !
Coach Ken never misses! Love your videos!!!
Thanks Jaime!
New subscriber gonna watch more videos GREAT advice
Thanks Veronica - much appreciated!
Thanks so much coach Ken
Great content. Much appreciated.
Much appreciated!
Im quiet but here listening
I made a mistake. One of the stupidest things I made was talking to her friends and seeking answers about the break up. My only way to win her back is to follow the no contact rule. I still love her. I need your advice. I'm doomed😢
Did the same thing for the first day. Realized it was pointless. I heard from her 1 week in no contact (just how are u) but nothing since. It’s been 45 days now.
Best advice I’ll give u is use the pain and fuel it towards becoming a man or women that no one would want to leave.
Analyze where you messed up (needy, prioritizing them over your life goals, argumentative, not affectionate enough, etc.) practice changing these things by implementing it with your friends and family.
Focus on your healing. Hobbies etc.
It’ll be ok. Either they’ll be back or you’ll find someone better.
@@NorthstarcarcareLLC thanks for the advice. It sucked because she dumped me like a piece of garbage. Before the break up, I already planned for a surprise proposal but, I didn't expect that she would dump me. She kept on asking me if I had plans for our future and I said yes! I actually told her that we need to prepare ourselves first before settling down. She should consider that I had obligations that I need to fulfill to my daughter.
She should consider that I am not yet financially stable so is she. She kept on pressuring me about the marriage.
She wouldn't even understand that I am preparing for our better future. I want to give her the best in life.
@@ziegfrideriksoriano978whats the update man ?
@@ziegfrideriksoriano978update?
Sounds like good advice. Been giving less and less F’s about her. I like her but I don’t have the same romantic interest in a relationship with someone who doesn’t feel the same.
True!
My ex has called me twice. I have no answer. Next time, I will answer.
What if they call just to "check in"
Great info but can hardly hear it,volume up please,ty
My boyfriend is out of state working for the past 4 months and he only came to visit me twice. We had a fight over the phone and he says it's over because I told him don't come back . I didn't mean it because we fight alot and don't mean anything. He says its over and he's not coming back to ne ever again. He says my manipulation won't work in him. I love him and want him back. He is an immigrant from venezuela and he say he going back to his country in a few months and my fear is not ever seeing him again. I don't want to lose him. We broke up last year and made back up 2 months after. I think he serious this time and wants to leave again. He hasn't blocked me but he's ignoring my calls and messages. What to do? I'm going out my mind and I'm reliving my heartbreak all over again.
For others my quiet bpd has started posting more on mutual friends Like Coach says first thing I did was get excited then I thought naw just coincident. She hadn’t posted or replied to their post in months almost a year.
@Coack Ken thank you for responding to my previous question. After I watched your video.I decided I will go no contact, starting today. Hopefully he will notice and reach out to me. I am nervous about doing this. But I feel, I have no choice. Seeing that he is starting to do it again. Any tips?
Don't fight anxiety when you miss him or hurt but don't let it make you second guess or trust that voice telling you, you need to do something to win him back. Let him have the full weight of your absence.
Hi coach Ken, It's been five months of no contact i feel i have no hope i feel if i give my safe hope and now it's been so long it will hurt more . I'm finding hard to move on one min i'm yes i don't want you back then the next i'm crying wanting him back . Like you he was an old boy friend from when i was 19 we broke up because he was going though a lot . I found this out then we met up 25 years later. we have both lost are partners ,i lot my 6 years ago his was two but he said he was ready to move on. cut a long story short it seem like he was not when we first got together he had problems with his leg to later find out it was cancer, i was being supportive and wanted to be their for him. but he started to pull away and say he misses his wife and his feelings have changed. he said he adored me which i think was mean as i hold on to that thinking he will be back.
Please help 🙏🏼
Sir my ex use to love me a lot she is very humble we were from different colleges and her friends didn't like me. So she slowly started losing feelings for me and one day told me it's over and she don't feel the same. I cried and even begged she got irritated and avoidant. I really love her she was so special to me. Please help me what should I do. It has been 6 months of no contact but nothing is happening. She is still not texting nor Calling. I will die without her. Please help me what should I do. 💔💔
Such a handsome man🥰
I'm not interested🤣🤣🤣🤣
Does this apply to BPD ex as well?
Does no contact work? On someone who has a pattern of utilizing no contact.
GREAT QUESTION - and surprisingly YES - it definitely does still work. Unless it's a psychopath or sociopath and then no, because they aren't motivated or operate on the same principles
The last conversation I had with my ex before I left was terrible I said alot of bad things just to get reaction this was 4weeks ago I now know it was because whilst living there waiting to move out my ex became distant and stopped speaking to me which hurt because they dumped me.what should I do ?
What if he calls to see how I am and I tell him that I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me and then ask me directly if I've moved on?
Or if I tell him a few of the things you suggested, he may ask if I've moved on. Is that possible?
I guess just play it by ear.
Did he call?
@@janillrodriguez8030 nope, hasn't called or texted
Never, EVER take an ex wife, girlfriend or partner back. EVER ! ! !
Radio silence vs no contact... difference???
You can do No Contact and still post on Social Media engaging in life - Radio Silence is when you're doing No Contact to the point they don't know what you're doing, where you are, what you're thinking.
I haven't watched yet but I already know it will be a masterclass 👌
Could you do a video eventually about BPD who went back with their ex "sexfriend" to get some stability and heal their anxiety Ken please? And if it could still be considered as a rebound if they were never really in love with them?
Also they have just started therapy for BPD because they realized their problems... How long until the treatment is effective and could this work with the ex?
Thank you so much for your great content
Coach Ken, do you have any suggestions on what you mentioned about if you were the dumper, your ex felt the loss, but then after the dumper reached out to reconcile, and those feelings of loss are gone, then the dumpee no longer wants the dumper. As the dumper, is there anything I can do to get them back? They seem to have been excited to reconnect, but then died off. I don’t know if I should just move on now, or try no contact? Are my chances over because I soothed their loss and boosted his ego and now he no longer wants me? Help!
Update? What did u do and what happened
@@Zombie101 he moved on to someone new. I lost my chance.
@Kmahersh01 really sorry to hear that. But how are you doing now? Do you feel regret? Luckily I wasn't the dumper per say. It was mutual! But then an attempt to reconcile had her throw things in my face a little!
@@Zombie101 It’s been 2 years since we broke up and yes, I have definitely felt a lot of regret, but I also know it was the right decision. If he could move on so fast, then he wasn’t the right guy for me and my decision to leave was the right decision. He did drive by my house numerous times for 6 months after the breakup while he was with her. He chose her though and didn’t try to come back to me. I haven’t tried to date anyone else yet, I wanted to take time to heal. I’m getting there!
@Kmahersh01 I'm impressed with you. Even though I don't know who you are, it's good that you're recognising the power of healing before moving to another partner. I feel you about the whole "if they move to someone so quickly they weren't for you" deffo agree with that
I like your videos, but I think its a little dangerous to just accuse some exes of being covert narcissists because they say things like the things you mentioned, like "you deserve someone good". Lets not throw around those words. People dont like breaking up with people they care about and so I guess saying things like that might feel better for them. My ex said stuff like that but I dont think thats an indicator of him being a covert narcissist. I think he just lost feelings and genuinely felt bad about it.
3:08
6:20
Why would we do that to a baby … cruel !
I know - it bothers me every time I see it - but it does illustrate the instinctive reaction to losing connection th-cam.com/video/IeHcsFqK7So/w-d-xo.html
14:59
9:18
Step 1: do NOT try to get them back. LET GO
step 2: step 1
Thank me later