Highly educational episode this week & I think you'll really enjoy this one! If you do enjoy this episode please do us a favour and hit the subscribe button, it truly helps us out a lot and helps us continue to bring you these types of conversations... appreciate you all 🙏🏽
I cant wait to transcribe your book, i love the conversations. Mabey you can rewrite it so that your book cannot be manipulated by A.I. I feel like i gain a lifetime of experience every episode already, and i would love to help make your book A.I. proof.
Im here to inform that women can in fact orgasm from penetration so she lost me at hello 😅 cumming doesnt mean men had great sex. But for the problemgroup i assume the first point could be an issue. Each person are different. Remember that. The hughest factor in society is stress. It undermines lust hormonally.
this is easily the most powerful episode of any podcast I have listened to as a 43 year old man who has been married for 20 years.... life changing! Thank you so much.
3:30 Sex educator 12:00 Women get bored easily 27:00 Warming up 29:00 50 shades of gray 32:00 Habit 39:30 Sex recession 49:00 Feeling desired; confidence 53:00 Initiating 1:03:00 Compatibility 1:09:00 Atrophy 1:12:00 Single women, married men 1:16:00 Libido 1:18:00 Use it or lose it 1:32:00 What is sex? 1:34:30 Legacy
How sad. Sex should be fun. I believe it’s because partners aren’t pleasing their partners. Period. They are not communicating. 20+ years & we are still like teenagers. Empty nesting has been so much fun!! And it’s fabulous! We have all the time in the world for each other. Why not make it fun. ♥️♥️
Anybody else realize how incredibly he crushed her doubts in under a minute at the very end? Yea his ability to articulate helped but it was a wonderful example of how simple random kindness and appreciation can completely shift a feeling. Spread kindness not hate. Even a sincere thank you with eye contact at a grocery store can change someone’s entire day or week.
I have to say that I absolutely ADORE both this show and Steven. This is one of the few podcasts where I don’t even have to know about the topic because it’s guaranteed to be an incredible conversation with thoughtful and thought-provoking questions and answers. It’s such a treat to watch/listen. 🙏🏾
True!! His guests are excellent. And as a host, he actually lets them talk without constantly interrupting them -- and then asks thoughtful questions. So refreshing!
I decided to watch this again after a year of trying to have a healthier relationship with my wife and I am happy to report that although things aren't perfect they are better and heading in a positive direction as both of us have made the effort to work at it. I plan to check back once a year to track progress. This episode was one of the best.
i just got ridiculously happy finding out that the girl you talked about in other podcasts is the one you're now back together with. i'm so happy for you guys, you worked together to overcome something huge together. great job!
I just recently started listening to this channel its become one of my favorites. I personally LOVE how honest and vulnerable the host is with all his guests. I learn alot from how humble he is.
I think expectations of what sex should be are influenced by notions we get from porn, from media, and from all sorts of hype we see in life about what sex is. the most fulfilling sex I ever had was when I got with someone who was quite shy about sex, like I have always been, and we explored gently, without pressure, and lots of laughter and fun at our own failings and inhibitions too. Sex is more than just penetration and gymnastic stamina.
Beware of scammers in the comments using DOAC name and picture to pose as Steven Bartlett. Steven will never DM you or ask you to DM/contact him privately. DOAC channel has a verification checkmark to distinguish it from imposters'.
Absolutely. I think the sexual relationship you describe is one not really identified in this discussion. I think it is actually possible for two people to come together with a certain degree of innocence and build a genuine romantic and monogamous connection which retains it's bit of magic over the years. I think in our fast-paced, cynical world we have forgotten that this used to be possible for some.
Found this podcast a few months ago and haven"t been able to stop listening sense. As a woman, I am constantly learning from the male vulnerability expressed in this podcast. Thanks for all of it!
Really great chat. I went off sex with my partner after infidelity. Am almost 40 and want my sex life back. This convo has helped me realise that I will be going to therapy as I have unconsciously completely closed off that part of my life due to fear. I wish people understood how damaging infidelity is to the other person. If you want to go have sex elsewhere let the other person know and they can decide to stay or leave. Be brave and have that convo. Great chat.
For years I have regretted getting divorced, I thought "I should've put in so much more effort to keep the relationship". But after listening to this conversation I realized I did the right thing, it was a lost cause already. Thank you.
We had far better sex 10 yrs. Into marriage than we did in the beginning and there was NO way in hell I would’ve thought that could be topped at the time! It was great when we were college age but the love was so much deeper at the end of our 20s, and our married sex life sounded SO much better than our what our single friends were having… yes, there is a lull with children and careers, etc. but connection is what keeps you on the same page and it does not need to die and get stale the longer you are together.! We may not be the norm but it’s certainly possible if u are into ea. other and devoted to keeping it that way.
Same here at 12+ years. I've heard people say that it gets better as you get older but perhaps that the frequency decreases, but apart from a few rough time periods with health issues it's no less frequent than the first year. If we go a week without it for whatever reason we both feel deprived.
Sex is the glue that makes you 'married/together'. If you don't have sex in a long-term relationship then you are just great friends/flat mates. You could just as well live with a good friend and do other things together that friends and family do. That is why the sex adds that extra dimension to the relationship that you don't share with anyone else.
the problem with this is, that they would offer him so much money, that they would like to decide what topic aires and what not. Currently he is kinda free and independant. but i get what you say.. would be nice to spread wisdom better instead of shitty shows on broadcast
I think this was an interesting and necessary open conversation about sex which was fully inclusive especially around age. These myths and programming that we are a certain age and we can't enjoy intimacy. I think over the years Tracey has taken so much flak for being openly conversational about sex but I really appreciate her directness and openness. Everything she shared is relational to anyone at any age and stage of life. Thank you Steven for always being open to listening especially for us girls it's really lovely to hear openly compassionate men share their story and to help young people navigate the journey too.
The compliment you gave Tracey at the end of this was so sweet and endearing and her response was lovely. A great and important conversation to be had, thank you ❤
I think that taking the time to fully know and understand each other's emotional components does go a long way to connecting with someone who is sexually compatible with you.
Eat healthier, excercise, keep good hygiene and you will both want to go at it like bunnies all the time. The problem is we become unhealthy, lethargic and miserable when we forget the basics.
To be honest agree with you 💯 because our. I agree with gjis conversation partially but our life style is the one killing the desire. Especially alcohol is the killer .
All of that! But inside is the most important. People are just walking around emotionally damaged and doing nothing to work it out. All of that dis function comes right out in the bedroom and the avoidance of it.
@@AmSuperBlessed Right! Alcohol and all that other mess out there. These men who wonder why they don’t wanna have sex and they are on a ton of opiates. Yeah. And you can’t poop on those either. I will never understand why people continue to be shocked by this. 🤦🏽♀️
Great episode. Steven, you should also have Ester Perel as a guest. She also talks about otherness and other subjects, She is so articulate and can sum up things in a nutshell! Best expert on relationships I have come across
It took me a month to finally get through this long interview. Qued it up numerous times, listen for some time then had to pause. I find her fascinating and at the same time troubling with some of her commentary. The one thing I'll give her for sure is her emphasizes on communication. Good for her. Steven was a complete gentleman and professional. Well done Steven. I'd love to sit across from her and discuss a few topics. This is coming from a 60 year old, father of two wonderful daughters and happily married for 27 years, been together for 30.
Same. I've only been married for 12 years and we don't have any children, but either we're an unusual married couple or she doesn't really know what she's talking about at parts. Our sex life has never gone downhill over time, actually better with experience. It's not perfect, but it didn't fade away or disappear. And her thoughts on monogamy/marriage were rather alarming as well, like if you're not getting enough just find someone else? Have multiple partners when you're young? Oh dear.
@@HarmonicWave It's not prescriptive. Take what you want, leave what you dont. Also, she's not the only sex educator with something to say. Your anecdotes will not always reflect research and a lot of research is extrapolated.
I don’t know why this channel doesn’t have millions of views on each video. It delivers nuggets of gold consistently. I know it’ll get there though! Love you guys, and thank you for what you do!! ❤
My parents talked rather graphically about sex when I was far too young and far too much. They did it for attention because back then (in the early 80’s) it was not normal. It disgusted me so much, it was often in highly inappropriate situations and I know my friends parents were put off by them. It has affected me all my life in big ways.
@@Teenywing I wonder if you could reprogram yourself? Using creative visualization, ritual, and contemplation, has helped me when I feel I need healing. Also, if it is safe, talking about this trauma to them may help you release the situation. Lastly, the 60's and 70's were a very different decade than the 80's, wildly so. That may have influenced them, not a excuse, but those times probably effected their views.
you know, there has been much said & accusations of twitter recommendations etc... but nothing about youTube... & ive alwasy found the same thing. Bangger youTube vids on incredible contrarian revelations, i've posted the link to it all over, & yet, not a single view count changes ... lol. Yup.We'll have to wait until youTube's recommendation algorithm gets published some day ... in the mean time... Psychologist & primatologist Kim Wallen, showed that in his Rhesus monkey compounds the female monkeys run the show wrt every aspect of life, Generals in War, head of politics, initiate ALL Sex, abandon children to chase after the object of their desire .. basically raw. The Male monkeys tend to live to the side of family life & are swapped out after 3 yrs because the female monkeys r too bored to have sex w them... sound familiar? [see Daniel Bergner's 2013 TedX talk/Book "What do women really want" where he writes about 8 yrs worth of interviews w female & male researchers & scientist on the topic of female desire.
One of the things I've noticed that most women in a relationship don't realize and don't do is related to initiation. From my experience, partners have always been either completely passive with initiation or very indirect. What they've always failed to realize is how much of a turn on it can be for a woman to directly initiate sexual activity with her man.
@@STREETFIGHTERRYU88 *unnecessary Don't try to act smart my friend, it doesn't appear to suit you. Congratulations on knowing what the letter 'S' is, it's really a solid foundation for you to excel at this type of thing one day. Replace 'most diverse' with any other adjective and you will - unless you are as dumb as you seem - see that it refers to all guests. You, and probably most of those who liked your post, get aroused as soon as they hear the word diversity. Look at you, highlighting differences between people all in the name of inclusivity... And anyway, what is so good *necessarily* about a diverse group? Or do you just mean he has guests with different opinions. Because I suspect you are obsessed about gender, race and religion, and expect that you are from the US. One of those rally attending megaphone wielding cringeworthy sheep.
Really dude your comment echoes millions of little teenage girls and blue haired mentally ill young men. You would probably describe YOURSELF as a diverse person wouldn't you? Hilarious. You don't understand language. You should just get a job at the circus jumping from massive heights while people clap.
So great to hear sensible conversations about sex. I have struggled with sex yet seeing/listening to this conversation, I realise what I have struggled with is the gap between my own expectations of myself (based on movies, books etc) and reality. Sex is bigged up by our society and I made the mistake of believing this, wanting myself to consistently perform/experience this, and falling short, rather than throwing all this out the window and looking after myself and believing in and being grateful for my own experience. The post menopausal info was helpful too.Thank you so much.
Brush your teeth, walk an hour or more every day, have your own interesting life, not available all the time, be open, keep very clean, dress nice, smell nice, skin care, hair care, be open to talk deeply in conversation, say your likes and have honestly, compliment them, reciprocate affection, eat healthy, no substances unless occasional, share all your feelings, respect yourself, respect others, respect your boundaries.
@@laurenlim9276 actually your brain wiring changes, men and women, when you have kids. So technically, yeah. Your brains are changed, telling you signals to protect your children and read babies physical comunication and cries. Your brain is busy and altered, and your time is lessened, and your list of responsibilities grows, so yeah you're technically right because parents minds are occupied on other things.
Exactly! And finally someone says it and it's wonderful that it comes out of a woman's mouth as well. Because, y'know people like to think only men are superficial but we all are. If I expect my partner to be faithful I better damn well make sure they are satisfied. And part of that is keeping myself as attractive as I can be. That's not an option, it's an obligation.
I stayed right to the end, hanging on every word, frantically typing 4 pages of notes and stayed up till 420am! Rivetting stuff. Vital tips and advice in there. I'm 52, married, 2 kids, not having as much sex nor as much variety of sex as I'd prefer. I now have a number of ways to deal with it and try to improve the relationship for both of us. THANK YOU BOTH SO MUCH!!
Feeling safe in the relationship ( being seen, heard and listened to) is the key to the doors of my kingdom. My brain is my biggest organ. Stimulate that first by communicating , and doing all the things a person that cares about another would do OUTSIDE of the bedroom.
This is probably my 3rd time listening to the diary of a CEO and I gotta say this one has been my favorite episode overall. That woman read my mind and answered most of my questions that I’ve have struggled with all my life ! Great episode 🙌🏽
I haven't written a comment on TH-cam for years as I'm not a big social media user but I just felt an overwhelming need to do so on this occasion - this was the best episode, I have ever watched by far! Interesting, powerful, no BS. Thank you Tracey and Steven.
What an amazing women, she seriously is so on point. It's a shame people's lack of awareness is leading to so many unessary break up of long term relationships.
Could not get past when married my ex wanted sex when I was asleep, and I was embarrased and confused that I was not aware what was happening. It is likely he was giving me drugs. That was the turning point. No sex with that monster, since if I stirred when not asleep he stopped. ( Besides getting an STD.) That topic was not covered, in the inappropirate tx of a partner is not tolerable. I do not believe I was being prudish. It was rape to me.
That was a truly outstanding interview on both sides. Informative, open, balanced, and not a trace of "it's all about me" on either side. Amazing. Thank you.
To be honest listening to this conversation made me uncomfortable and it made me face the uncomfortable truths about my sex life so Thankyou Steven and the Team❤
I agree with all the compliments Steven gave Tracey at the end of this film. What a great gal. I especially like her response. Even given all the things she writes and speaks about, Steven still managed to make her blush proving to me that she really is a lovely person. xx
Your summation at the end was really beautiful, it’s such an important topic and so difficult to approach as humans find it so hard to find congruence between their animal instincts and our societal programming. More podcasts like this please, and what a lovely guest, she really wasn’t a “know it all”, she really seemed to genuinely be passionate about her work and you could feel it when she spoke ❤
Thank you so much for this. As a woman I learned so much about my own problems in just one hour. Thank you i think this can help a lot of woman and men 😊
This, for me, was the best interview on DOAC. All Tracey’s years of study and wisdom shared in what felt like a masterclass with practical tips. What a wonderful job you both have done🦋
Fantastic talk. I only wish it could have been longer so she could have discussed diet with regards to ED. ED is usually an early sign of atherosclerosis, which is a narrowing of the arteries due to plaque buildup (it isn’t that older men start having mental problems). Consider talking to a nutritionist if you have trouble with ED. People can often change their diet and get off all medications related to chronic lifestyle diseases. Whether you eat meat or not, consider eating a diet that is high in a wide variety of whole plant foods-whole intact grains (quinoa, millet, oats, teff), legumes (beans, lentils, chickpeas), vegetables (especially leafy greens and cruciferous veggies), fruits (berries are best), nuts, seeds-and mushrooms, and keep saturated fat, added sugar, and salt low. Vegan men (including those who eat soy) have lower PSA numbers, less ED, and the same testosterone levels as men who eat meat, so do not think you need to eat more steak to be more manly!
I feel like this was the best episode you've ever done. Captivating guest, important topic. So many of your episodes are incredible but when I think about how many people are going to leave this one with something real and practical, I think this it puts them above them all. Thank you for bringing us this experience.
Honestly I’ve been holding off watching videos/talks about sex because my experiences make me feel quite inadequate because men expect me/us to be stimulated by things that don’t stimulate me, like fingers and intercourse don’t do it for me, but this interview has actually made me feel much more normal because she’s stated around 80% of women are in the same boat as me, at least in some aspects. It’s been very helpful and hopeful.
To me it’s about paying attention to the small details, when we were first married she couldn’t have an orgasm but over the years as I’m paying attention to small details she got up to 2 orgasms in one session, so I was proud about that lol. Can’t help it but I am pleaser! 🥸😎🤓
yes and it's a known fact for centuries =) so no worries needed, like with a lot of things we just are unaware of because noone told us or we did not investigate ...
So far, I just listened up to the 8:33 mark. I'm grimacing a bit, at the thought of being offended when someone says they don't think their partner would cheat. My husband and I both say that we don't think the other would cheat. Granted we were friends for many years and saw one another in other relationships before we got married. But one thing I really appreciate about my husband (and hopefully continue to), is that he is always honest even when it is hard. A bit of the stereotype of someone without a filter, but I like that because he is very transparent. I like to say, that knowing both of us, the most likely scenario would be an upfront conversation about a change in feelings, exiting the marriage, and then go on our separate paths. Now, that is not guaranteed, so I humbly admit that I can't predict the future. But based on what we know of one other, I find that a compliment, because it speaks to how respect ourselves and one another. But this hinges on us continuing to be transparent (including if one of us wants to end it for any reason).
This was great! I agree with everything she says and it makes me feel completely vindicated that all the things I've been doing are actually valid...sometimes you lose confidence in your own intuition but having multiple partners does help you see what works...thank you!!
Great interview. Love your vulnerability & courage to open up about your relationship, Steven. And the way you ended the interview on high note of your guest is very professional and sincere. Just lovely.
I can relate to a lot of what she said. And I feel so much better for knowing I am not weird about my feelings (sexual and romantic). Thank you for the great podcast!
Tracey! Thank you so much for these insane insights that you have provided the listeners with. My new goal in life is to read all your 17 books❤ You're so eloquent and humble, I hope when you relisten to this podcast you realise how magnificent and inspirational you are to young women like me, not just in terms of career but also how you carry yourself. Thank you for being so open and vulnerable here. I am only 20, but I will carry this knowledge about sex and life with me for decades to come. Steven, you did a fantastic job handling this sensitive topic so well and you were so respectful. Love how there is no awkwardness in discussing delicate subjects and it's strictly to increase awareness through facts, opinions and experiences and fulfill a mission. Much love and respect for both of you. (P.s. Tracey, your shirt is kinda based off the colour palette of an avocado 🥑)
This is an eye opening and life changing conversation. I can’t thank you enough for this. Thank you both! My life will not be the same after watching this.
Wonderful episode. Just a tip, I recently went off birth control after 10+ years and my sex drive came back with a vengeance. I feel like myself again and thought I had just lost most of it because of being in a long term relationship. Worth a try if you’re feeling the same!
Great program! Relationships go through many phases and being resilient enough to hang in there through the tough times can lead to great fulfillment in the end. My marriage of 53+ years has not been without strife. Tracey's comment that it all comes down to childhood issues is so very true. Others have said that we choose our mates to help us work through those early programs. I'm grateful that we've stuck it out and at this point are literally basking in the 'fruits of our labours'. We also still make each other laugh and find stimulation in discussing a wide range of topics. This intellectual stimulation may be more important, in our case, than the physical; however, when I hear the stats surrounding sexless relationships, I shake my head in confusion ...it just never occurred to me that this was happening. I suppose we take our own situation to be the 'norm' and again, we've been very lucky. Thank you for searching out this wonderfully witty and informative 'sexpert'!
Ok and how haven’t I heard of you sooner I listen to podcast every day all day because I’m an equipment operator and have been for years. Wow it’s crazy. I ran into both of you today. Thank you for your work your time and your passion about peoples well-being, and the human raise you’re so conscious of everything you bless you, sir I believe he has and is continuing to I hope and I know that things are going where the expectation and I’m sure they have but I’m sure you know there’s more coming for how great of work
After 20 years of marriage I found myself in a low sex marriage mostly due to kids and built up resentment and contempt. We hit the reset button and made a rule..... SLEEP NAKED. Now 6 years later we still sleep naked and have sex at least once a day and several times a week more than once. We touch each other as often as we can. It has saved our marriage. We also rarely refuse each other sex.
Exactly. There’s no excuse for cheating…either be honest to your partner if they’ve stopped trying or leave if it’s so bad you feel like you’re ready to cheat. But what you want is to definitely feel like your partner would never cheat lol. Anything other than that is the insult.
I am 73 years old and was married for 48 years but now widowed for 5 years. I enjoyed your program today. You are an interesting and intelligent interviewer.
This is an amazing podcast. Such important information. And such lovely people. I really liked Tracey, her courage and her intelligence and then her openness at the end. That was the cherry. And Steven is just such a genuine and loving person. This is heart-warming.
Amazing episode! Your channel has truly become the positive reinforcement & perspective I realize i may have been lacking in recent years. Another great guest and a perfect conversation on possibly one of the most important subjects in life.....just WOW. You both absolutely nailed this! Much respect & Thank you for your work!
Thank you for this openness and frank discussion about this subject. Tracey has been so helpful and supportive in giving insight into all aspects of relationships and sexual behavior
I agree with half of the things Tracey said and disagree with the other half, but overall, I enjoyed this episode a lot. There is a nice energy between Steven and Tracey and the interview overall flows very nicely,. To me this is an awesome example of a nice interaction between two people.
Man, she was destined to do this. It's in her bloodline, her father's parents, father's father's parents, and father's father's father's parents all did this as well. Its how the last name got it's meaning, they come from a long line of Cox,
This was so enlightening and so much of what she said resonated as the truth for me, even tho much of it possibly shakes the "norms" of what we are ( by parents, education , society) taught to believe . Thank you for breaking down that construct and showing (particularly for women) that what we need can look quite different and that its ok to articulate that and have a voice. You are an inspiration to us all.!
Absolutely amazing episode. So many questions answered clearly. An absolute must-listen to anyone that has ever had a question about sex or relationships. Ordered the signed, pre-order book as well.
Sexologist here from a different culture (scandinavia), also highly interested in numbers and scientific findings, just thought I'd ad some extra info bits.. I'm not too keen on how matter-of-fact the eminent Tracy Cox is, though she says good and true things. Will update along as I watch the talk. =) * 20% of females can orgasm vaginally? Last I looked this up it was around 10%. 20 sounds a LOT. Maybe there are differences in culture/where one is from..? Doubt it though. * Spontaneous lust/attraction is excistent in every person, but it correlates with factors such as how self-secure you are, how safe and happy you are in your sexuality and partner/-s, stress levels and much more.. Women are taught to be careful and not sure about themselves bodywise and sexually, basically from birth. If all genders were raised equally and with the same opportunities/expectations etc, we would most likely see very similar prevalence in spontaneous lust in a population. And everyone also has responsive lust/attraction. =) * 100% agreement, a woman needs interesting sex that takes more than 10 min and only attention on the male/male genitals!!! But saying women need "wild, erotic sex" needs to be interpreted as "varied, erotic sex", not just whips, hairpulling and advanced BDSM techinques and maneuvers. Safe and sane, for advanced things there NEEDS to exist knowledge! Understanding how a body responds and is affected by certain actions (yes, thinking about oxygen deprivation for example,). I would have loved if she talked more about tantra, kama sutra, massage-sex and other activities that focus on a mental and full-body connection. Romance can be wild, the keys in my humble opinion are curiosity and playfulness. =) and communication. Always communication! * 100000% agreement on everything she said on porn and her worries!!!!!!! I do my masters on porn and have also had horrible, terrifying findings. Fairtrade porn is a better option.
Tracey, I couldn’t stop watching this video. If you watch it, be proud of yourself. You kept it interesting every minute of it… it really was remarkable.
Since I've found this channel I don't enjoy listening to my other podcasts that just chit-chat. This is so much better and fulfilling, it is constructed and follows a conversation that makes sense. I'm so glad your channel found me.
I think long term relationships struggle with loss of sex due to boredom or just loss of spark. People are afraid to talk about it but I can't believe how common it is. But the video fell from heaven right when I needed it
Mmhhh if you found your PERSON that spark will not dye. I am telling you! Some of us are with the WRONG people! We stay in relationships with ppl we were not attracted to or fond of to begin with. FIND YOUR PERSON.
Wow this was fascinating 😮 My favourite episode yet. This lady is so interesting, engaging and relatable. She’s so good at explaining and breaking down what she’s discussing. Plus I think I’m now armed with some important information for a next relationship.
I have to say, Steven, that I bumped into your channel by accident a few weeks ago and have listened to a handful of films so far - you're actually a very good interviewer through asking questions which elicit detailed answers. You also don't interrupt the flow of the answers coming out of the guests. I think I owe you a like but moreso a subscription. Thank you for interesting content
Steven is a great interviewer. These specific skills are consistent throughout the entirety of this show and it’s amazing to witness. Incredible questions teamed with full of space for a thoughtful answer. He also has guests that know how to get to the answer in a really beautiful way. Articulate and informative.
Great discussion! I do have to say, that if my partner wanted to do something I am not comfortable with, I would offer to try it one time, but after we discuss all my reservations and my fears and his intensity of needing to do this.
I think the most important thing to get from this is to live and speak your truth unapologetically. Whether it be with sex or relationships, it's important to understand yourself and your own natural polarity before joining with a partner(s).
Listen up you guys! THIS WOMAN IS SO ON THE BALL .She Really knows what she is talking about Take notice and stop taking about Stephens book (which I have ordered) and listen to the advice She gives fantastic sensible advice !
Thats not what she said. AT ALL. And what she had said is her interpretation. She has no actual clinical research behind her that she accomplished. There is SO MUCH OTHER INFORMATION to tie into this, that she does not touch on. Her view is a completely femminist/me generation/hypergamy/solopsistic . It WILL NOT end well.
I am very specific with my hubby, and he is so giving! We love to talk about what we do in the bedroom, sometimes even _in_ the bed 😊❤ He loves that afterward I'm praising him for certain things he tried during foreplay that blew my mind!!! And he does the same! I'm so glad this convo is happening.❤ I can say, the past partners I've had, none of these boys knew about a woman's body, and none of them asked questions or explored me at all, which made me feel like an object and of course, intimacy died off. Great quote: "If they enjoyed it, why would they avoid it?" Read books, watch videos like this and most importantly, talk to your partner! It may be strange at first but then it becomes a _part_ of the foreplay and can really rev things up!!
I'll add, religion and purity culture really screwed me up for a while. Part of how women learn their bodies is through masturbation~ so when you're taught that's wrong, then you have women who don't know what turns them on, then you pair them with religious men who've ALSO gotten all kinds of false and damaging info regarding sex/intimacy! It all tumbles into horrible sex 😢 Also, the "obligation sex" message the Church teaches men and women is DESTROYING marriages! Nobody wants to have sex when it's expected/demanded of you with NO thoughts of your own pleasure, as a woman. Come on Church, you guys can do better!! Sheila Gregorie's books are amazing. "The great sex rescue", "the good guys guid to great sex", "the good girls guid to great sex" and "she deserves better" are all amazing books!!
Your way of talking about men is very sexist. A man does not suddenly become a boy just because he is not interested in your sexual desires. Otherwise, it should be okay for you to call women who don't serve the sexual interests of men girls.
I agree with most things said in this very educational episode. Giving instructions in sex does not have to be robotic. You can say it in a sexy and very passionate voice which does not put your partner off. It works for me.
Yes! Just recently had a partner like this and it was really sexy knowing I was pleasing him. Hard to be vocal like that though if you're not used to it
Steven and Tracey, thank you both for sharing such a Great Conversation! A Great topic that is helpful and applicable to All of us. Totally Enjoyed this podcast as I much as I have Enjoyed all of your other podcasts!! It is Greatly Appreciated!!! 💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚
I rarely comment on videos but I'm hoping Tracey will read this. I sat in my car, in the dark, and watched the whole interview all while I had to be preparing for an interview instead. My responses to the interview: 1) I am what Tracey calls the alpha woman, a high achiever, belonging to that mid generation stuck between modernity and tradition, have matched and chatted to easily over 500 men on online dating aps, went on dates with a selection of them but never found that one partner. Partially because of lack of time, high and incorrect expectations, not wanting to commit to a relationship before finding financial stability (due to past experiences), and not allowing myself to embrace who I am, my desires or to really accept affection from a partner (also due to up bringing). A psychologist told me to revise and limit my wishlis if I really wanted a relationship and a partner, just as Tracie suggested, but I think that feels like another compromise. I tried to compromise with two separate men (consecutively) and walked out of both relationships feeling disappointed and deciding to never ever compromise again. I've earned my life the hard way so having a slacker of a partner (relatively speaking) will never feel pleasing.... But at the same time, I think other alpha men aren't comfortable around alpha women so it makes it a lot harder to find the perfect match... I sometimes think, maybe I should've just found a partner when I was younger... But my friend reminded me that you would've been the same person and settling before achieving what you have now wouldn't have put you in a more desirable and satisfying situation... 2) thank you, Tracey, for helping me realise that I am a normal woman. A bicurious, variety seeking, high sex drive woman that fantasizes about multiple sexual partners but also wants love, intimacy, affection, care, loyalty and family formation... Unfortunately all of the former have been dampened by an extremely conservative upbringing. Im in my mid 30s and still discovering sex and relationships 3) vibrators do stimulate orgasm but I think my body sees it as short circuiting. It's a forced orgasm that shuts off all the other sensations from touch afterwards... Sending this video to all my friends right away!
Thank you for this! From women everywhere… for us on a date night it can even be a hand on the back, play with the hair. Small intimate things. Not pretend you’re a bloke and then get home and want to go at it.
I would love to see Kim Anami on this podcast! She talks about numb vaginas and how women can get the feeling back and strengthen their pelvic floor which brings back a lot of desire for sex for women! She also talks about healing sexual trauma and so many other things, she’s really great and it would be nice to get another POV 😁
I listen to a lot of educational TH-cam videos while working. This channel, that I recently started listening to, has been such a great experience for me. This will probably be one of my favorite the more I watch. Thank you for creating these! Btw, she was a wonderful person to listen to and learn from.
![[UNCUT] The Loyal Pin ปิ่นภักดิ์ EP.15 (2/4)](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/qbHbshrA1f0/mqdefault.jpg)
Highly educational episode this week & I think you'll really enjoy this one! If you do enjoy this episode please do us a favour and hit the subscribe button, it truly helps us out a lot and helps us continue to bring you these types of conversations... appreciate you all 🙏🏽
I cant wait to transcribe your book, i love the conversations. Mabey you can rewrite it so that your book cannot be manipulated by A.I. I feel like i gain a lifetime of experience every episode already, and i would love to help make your book A.I. proof.
45:32 is a scene from Demolition Man. Wesley Snipes plays in it.
Merci Steven for all you do. It would be great to hear you with Esther Perel, another grand therapist. Love
Steven, would love you to cover or focus on the notion of ethical non monogamy or poly from people who are within that dating style
Loved this podcast! She’s spot on! I want my husband to listen 😅
i love that she's comfortable saying "i really don't know the solution" instead of saying nonsense like most people do on the internet
it is in BIG CONTRAST to the headline trying to make people watch this video
@@mettejensen8653 Some could call it defraudation.🤷♀️
Im here to inform that women can in fact orgasm from penetration so she lost me at hello 😅 cumming doesnt mean men had great sex. But for the problemgroup i assume the first point could be an issue. Each person are different. Remember that.
The hughest factor in society is stress. It undermines lust hormonally.
this is easily the most powerful episode of any podcast I have listened to as a 43 year old man who has been married for 20 years.... life changing! Thank you so much.
Did you finally find the clit?
Yes- show this to every engaged couple or married couple. This would probably save many relationships from separation 🤷🏻♂️
What have you taken from this and what will you implement
why?
Weak af dawg. Grow a pair
3:30 Sex educator
12:00 Women get bored easily
27:00 Warming up
29:00 50 shades of gray
32:00 Habit
39:30 Sex recession
49:00 Feeling desired; confidence
53:00 Initiating
1:03:00 Compatibility
1:09:00 Atrophy
1:12:00 Single women, married men
1:16:00 Libido
1:18:00 Use it or lose it
1:32:00 What is sex?
1:34:30 Legacy
Thank you for this !!!!!!
👏
Thank you
How sad. Sex should be fun. I believe it’s because partners aren’t pleasing their partners. Period. They are not communicating. 20+ years & we are still like teenagers. Empty nesting has been so much fun!! And it’s fabulous! We have all the time in the world for each other. Why not make it fun. ♥️♥️
i need more of this.
Anybody else realize how incredibly he crushed her doubts in under a minute at the very end? Yea his ability to articulate helped but it was a wonderful example of how simple random kindness and appreciation can completely shift a feeling. Spread kindness not hate. Even a sincere thank you with eye contact at a grocery store can change someone’s entire day or week.
At what point?
He complimented her in every way possible. Her work ethic, personality and attire! He's very good at what he does
or life...
And make sure that they know that you are looking them in the eyes and not unwanted attention to their body parts. Be genuine.
It was actually touching for me.
I have to say that I absolutely ADORE both this show and Steven. This is one of the few podcasts where I don’t even have to know about the topic because it’s guaranteed to be an incredible conversation with thoughtful and thought-provoking questions and answers. It’s such a treat to watch/listen. 🙏🏾
True!! His guests are excellent. And as a host, he actually lets them talk without constantly interrupting them -- and then asks thoughtful questions. So refreshing!
I agree 100 percent and I would love to have sex with the female therapist on the show
Agreed. 💯%
😊
I decided to watch this again after a year of trying to have a healthier relationship with my wife and I am happy to report that although things aren't perfect they are better and heading in a positive direction as both of us have made the effort to work at it. I plan to check back once a year to track progress. This episode was one of the best.
Steven is the ebodiment of "asking for a friend"
Lmao so true
😂😂
my friend sometimes say, who is my friend answer that was himself.
😂
Lol
i just got ridiculously happy finding out that the girl you talked about in other podcasts is the one you're now back together with. i'm so happy for you guys, you worked together to overcome something huge together. great job!
That's the ticket ...don't give up too easily. As Tracey said, with communication, everything is possible!
What's the story to this? Sounds great..
It is nice when people self reflect, learn and work things out together, I’m sure it makes people grow stronger together in many ways. ♥️
Me too! Great to hear this Steven. 😊
You the Americans are wildly sexy
He took the whole “just asking for a friend” to a whole different level.
Repeated levwl 😂
😂
😂
😂😂😂
I just recently started listening to this channel its become one of my favorites. I personally LOVE how honest and vulnerable the host is with all his guests. I learn alot from how humble he is.
Yeah but when is he gonna come out?
@Steve Marriott 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@Caaine So you have to be gay to have a brain, I don't think so.
@@Caaine Why would you even care? You may want to check yourself out first.
@@EnGammalAmazon Just a joke, man 👍
I think expectations of what sex should be are influenced by notions we get from porn, from media, and from all sorts of hype we see in life about what sex is. the most fulfilling sex I ever had was when I got with someone who was quite shy about sex, like I have always been, and we explored gently, without pressure, and lots of laughter and fun at our own failings and inhibitions too. Sex is more than just penetration and gymnastic stamina.
Beware of scammers in the comments using DOAC name and picture to pose as Steven Bartlett. Steven will never DM you or ask you to DM/contact him privately. DOAC channel has a verification checkmark to distinguish it from imposters'.
Absolutely. I think the sexual relationship you describe is one not really identified in this discussion. I think it is actually possible for two people to come together with a certain degree of innocence and build a genuine romantic and monogamous connection which retains it's bit of magic over the years.
I think in our fast-paced, cynical world we have forgotten that this used to be possible for some.
Porn is a disaster. It’s not good for anyone. It’s poison. It’s garbage.
As an ex gymnast, I laughed at this! 😂
@@Nah-ah laughed at what?… and why?
Found this podcast a few months ago and haven"t been able to stop listening sense. As a woman, I am constantly learning from the male vulnerability expressed in this podcast. Thanks for all of it!
Really great chat. I went off sex with my partner after infidelity. Am almost 40 and want my sex life back. This convo has helped me realise that I will be going to therapy as I have unconsciously completely closed off that part of my life due to fear. I wish people understood how damaging infidelity is to the other person. If you want to go have sex elsewhere let the other person know and they can decide to stay or leave. Be brave and have that convo. Great chat.
Ester Perel
Everything is comparative
So sorry that happened to you! I hope you’re having mind blowing sex now & feel fulfilled in every aspect of your life. You certainly deserve it.
Amen!
For me it was porn addiction. I wish it was a topic more often discussed
For years I have regretted getting divorced, I thought "I should've put in so much more effort to keep the relationship".
But after listening to this conversation I realized I did the right thing, it was a lost cause already.
Thank you.
Congrats!
We had far better sex 10 yrs. Into marriage than we did in the beginning and there was NO way in hell I would’ve thought that could be topped at the time! It was great when we were college age but the love was so much deeper at the end of our 20s, and our married sex life sounded SO much better than our what our single friends were having… yes, there is a lull with children and careers, etc. but connection is what keeps you on the same page and it does not need to die and get stale the longer you are together.! We may not be the norm but it’s certainly possible if u are into ea. other and devoted to keeping it that way.
Same here at 12+ years. I've heard people say that it gets better as you get older but perhaps that the frequency decreases, but apart from a few rough time periods with health issues it's no less frequent than the first year. If we go a week without it for whatever reason we both feel deprived.
Sex is the glue that makes you 'married/together'.
If you don't have sex in a long-term relationship then you are just great friends/flat mates. You could just as well live with a good friend and do other things together that friends and family do. That is why the sex adds that extra dimension to the relationship that you don't share with anyone else.
Devotion to it is KEY
This should be air on national TV everywhere world wide .So much education that is really lacking in our world society. Well done Steven
the problem with this is, that they would offer him so much money, that they would like to decide what topic aires and what not. Currently he is kinda free and independant. but i get what you say.. would be nice to spread wisdom better instead of shitty shows on broadcast
I am just happy how all these episodes are so long and allow lots good and deep discussions!
I think this was an interesting and necessary open conversation about sex which was fully inclusive especially around age. These myths and programming that we are a certain age and we can't enjoy intimacy. I think over the years Tracey has taken so much flak for being openly conversational about sex but I really appreciate her directness and openness. Everything she shared is relational to anyone at any age and stage of life. Thank you Steven for always being open to listening especially for us girls it's really lovely to hear openly compassionate men share their story and to help young people navigate the journey too.
The compliment you gave Tracey at the end of this was so sweet and endearing and her response was lovely. A great and important conversation to be had, thank you ❤
We all need little TLC, no matter how confident we seem to be 🫶
Who cares😂
I think that taking the time to fully know and understand each other's emotional components does go a long way to connecting with someone who is sexually compatible with you.
Eat healthier, excercise, keep good hygiene and you will both want to go at it like bunnies all the time. The problem is we become unhealthy, lethargic and miserable when we forget the basics.
To be honest agree with you 💯 because our. I agree with gjis conversation partially but our life style is the one killing the desire. Especially alcohol is the killer .
All of that! But inside is the most important. People are just walking around emotionally damaged and doing nothing to work it out. All of that dis function comes right out in the bedroom and the avoidance of it.
@@AmSuperBlessed Right! Alcohol and all that other mess out there. These men who wonder why they don’t wanna have sex and they are on a ton of opiates. Yeah. And you can’t poop on those either. I will never understand why people continue to be shocked by this. 🤦🏽♀️
Not really.. some people are all that but worry about sht in their mind so can’t enjoy it
Gross. If my man were to say something like “go at it like bunnies” to me we’d be over.
Great episode. Steven, you should also have Ester Perel as a guest. She also talks about otherness and other subjects, She is so articulate and can sum up things in a nutshell! Best expert on relationships I have come across
Yes indeed!
Love her! She’s great!
My thoughts exactly!!! 🤞🏼
another great guest to have would be Shan Boodram
Yes, much better than this woman
It took me a month to finally get through this long interview. Qued it up numerous times, listen for some time then had to pause. I find her fascinating and at the same time troubling with some of her commentary. The one thing I'll give her for sure is her emphasizes on communication. Good for her. Steven was a complete gentleman and professional. Well done Steven. I'd love to sit across from her and discuss a few topics. This is coming from a 60 year old, father of two wonderful daughters and happily married for 27 years, been together for 30.
Same. I've only been married for 12 years and we don't have any children, but either we're an unusual married couple or she doesn't really know what she's talking about at parts. Our sex life has never gone downhill over time, actually better with experience. It's not perfect, but it didn't fade away or disappear. And her thoughts on monogamy/marriage were rather alarming as well, like if you're not getting enough just find someone else? Have multiple partners when you're young? Oh dear.
@@HarmonicWave It's not prescriptive. Take what you want, leave what you dont. Also, she's not the only sex educator with something to say. Your anecdotes will not always reflect research and a lot of research is extrapolated.
One person wants to have sex outside and the other doesn't, compromise out the window lol
Even being a clinical psychologist, I learned so much from Tracey and also from Steven's thoughtful questions...excellent program!
I don’t know why this channel doesn’t have millions of views on each video. It delivers nuggets of gold consistently. I know it’ll get there though! Love you guys, and thank you for what you do!! ❤
My parents talked rather graphically about sex when I was far too young and far too much. They did it for attention because back then (in the early 80’s) it was not normal. It disgusted me so much, it was often in highly inappropriate situations and I know my friends parents were put off by them. It has affected me all my life in big ways.
@@Teenywing I wonder if you could reprogram yourself? Using creative visualization, ritual, and contemplation, has helped me when I feel I need healing. Also, if it is safe, talking about this trauma to them may help you release the situation. Lastly, the 60's and 70's were a very different decade than the 80's, wildly so. That may have influenced them, not a excuse, but those times probably effected their views.
you know, there has been much said & accusations of twitter recommendations etc... but nothing about youTube... & ive alwasy found the same thing. Bangger youTube vids on incredible contrarian revelations, i've posted the link to it all over, & yet, not a single view count changes ... lol. Yup.We'll have to wait until youTube's recommendation algorithm gets published some day ... in the mean time...
Psychologist & primatologist Kim Wallen, showed that in his Rhesus monkey compounds the female monkeys run the show wrt every aspect of life, Generals in War, head of politics, initiate ALL Sex, abandon children to chase after the object of their desire .. basically raw. The Male monkeys tend to live to the side of family life & are swapped out after 3 yrs because the female monkeys r too bored to have sex w them... sound familiar? [see Daniel Bergner's 2013 TedX talk/Book "What do women really want" where he writes about 8 yrs worth of interviews w female & male researchers & scientist on the topic of female desire.
One of the things I've noticed that most women in a relationship don't realize and don't do is related to initiation. From my experience, partners have always been either completely passive with initiation or very indirect. What they've always failed to realize is how much of a turn on it can be for a woman to directly initiate sexual activity with her man.
You always have the most diverse and interesting guests!
Yes, awesome guests. I've soaked up all the convos.
A guest cannot be diverse. A group of guests can be diverse.
@@thesampsoninstitute For those who can’t read I did use guestS as in plural. Thanks grammar police for the unnecessary harassment.
@@STREETFIGHTERRYU88 *unnecessary
Don't try to act smart my friend, it doesn't appear to suit you.
Congratulations on knowing what the letter 'S' is, it's really a solid foundation for you to excel at this type of thing one day.
Replace 'most diverse' with any other adjective and you will - unless you are as dumb as you seem - see that it refers to all guests.
You, and probably most of those who liked your post, get aroused as soon as they hear the word diversity.
Look at you, highlighting differences between people all in the name of inclusivity...
And anyway, what is so good *necessarily* about a diverse group?
Or do you just mean he has guests with different opinions. Because I suspect you are obsessed about gender, race and religion, and expect that you are from the US. One of those rally attending megaphone wielding cringeworthy sheep.
Really dude your comment echoes millions of little teenage girls and blue haired mentally ill young men.
You would probably describe YOURSELF as a diverse person wouldn't you?
Hilarious. You don't understand language. You should just get a job at the circus jumping from massive heights while people clap.
So great to hear sensible conversations about sex. I have struggled with sex yet seeing/listening to this conversation, I realise what I have struggled with is the gap between my own expectations of myself (based on movies, books etc) and reality. Sex is bigged up by our society and I made the mistake of believing this, wanting myself to consistently perform/experience this, and falling short, rather than throwing all this out the window and looking after myself and believing in and being grateful for my own experience. The post menopausal info was helpful too.Thank you so much.
Brush your teeth, walk an hour or more every day, have your own interesting life, not available all the time, be open, keep very clean, dress nice, smell nice, skin care, hair care, be open to talk deeply in conversation, say your likes and have honestly, compliment them, reciprocate affection, eat healthy, no substances unless occasional, share all your feelings, respect yourself, respect others, respect your boundaries.
👆👌
Spot on. It’s astonishing how many forget this.
Don’t have kids
@@laurenlim9276 actually your brain wiring changes, men and women, when you have kids. So technically, yeah. Your brains are changed, telling you signals to protect your children and read babies physical comunication and cries. Your brain is busy and altered, and your time is lessened, and your list of responsibilities grows, so yeah you're technically right because parents minds are occupied on other things.
@@laurenlim9276 also though, you just might not have time as a parent to care for yourself in all the ways I mentioned in the original comment
“Love is kind but is not blind”❤ loved this woman!
She just said it while I read your message😊 HAH!
@@dana102083Love that!
Exactly! And finally someone says it and it's wonderful that it comes out of a woman's mouth as well. Because, y'know people like to think only men are superficial but we all are. If I expect my partner to be faithful I better damn well make sure they are satisfied. And part of that is keeping myself as attractive as I can be. That's not an option, it's an obligation.
I remember exactly when she said that and I agree completely.
So when people age just give up and leave them because they aren't attractive? Ok
I stayed right to the end, hanging on every word, frantically typing 4 pages of notes and stayed up till 420am! Rivetting stuff. Vital tips and advice in there. I'm 52, married, 2 kids, not having as much sex nor as much variety of sex as I'd prefer. I now have a number of ways to deal with it and try to improve the relationship for both of us. THANK YOU BOTH SO MUCH!!
I'm in the same boat mate @ 51. All the best to you. Kindest regards, Richard U.K
What a good husband you are. You’re also quite good looking… so if that doesn’t work, you’ll have no trouble getting help in that department 😋
Good man
9 days passed, how is it going man? any results?
You can do it!!! 🎉
I have a lot of respect for you Stephen taking on this topic
This was great I hope a lot of eyes and ears get to see hear this .
Feeling safe in the relationship ( being seen, heard and listened to) is the key to the doors of my kingdom. My brain is my biggest organ. Stimulate that first by communicating , and doing all the things a person that cares about another would do OUTSIDE of the bedroom.
Exactly this
Agree 100%
That only works
@@zen_mindset1why 😅??
All true besides the brain being the biggest organ , the biggest organ of the body is the skin 😂
@@Urso3954 this seems to be very important to you. only.
This is probably my 3rd time listening to the diary of a CEO and I gotta say this one has been my favorite episode overall. That woman read my mind and answered most of my questions that I’ve have struggled with all my life ! Great episode 🙌🏽
Same for me. Lot of questions and I finally got answers. I'm impressed.
My favourite episode of hundreds it seems, and thats really saying a lot! Tracey is indeed captivating, even scintillating
I haven't written a comment on TH-cam for years as I'm not a big social media user but I just felt an overwhelming need to do so on this occasion - this was the best episode, I have ever watched by far! Interesting, powerful, no BS. Thank you Tracey and Steven.
What an amazing women, she seriously is so on point. It's a shame people's lack of awareness is leading to so many unessary break up of long term relationships.
Could not get past when married my ex wanted sex when I was asleep, and I was embarrased and confused that I was not aware what was happening. It is likely he was giving me drugs. That was the turning point. No sex with that monster, since if I stirred when not asleep he stopped. ( Besides getting an STD.) That topic was not covered, in the inappropirate tx of a partner is not tolerable. I do not believe I was being prudish. It was rape to me.
Dude really?
@@HugoGonzalez-t5c what.
@@HugoGonzalez-t5c , Its true, lack of awareness can damage many things.
That was a truly outstanding interview on both sides. Informative, open, balanced, and not a trace of "it's all about me" on either side. Amazing. Thank you.
To be honest listening to this conversation made me uncomfortable and it made me face the uncomfortable truths about my sex life so Thankyou Steven and the Team❤
J. Peterson would say if it made you uncomfortable, it means there's a dragon for you to slay in this matter in order to develop/improve.
@@sylvia470 agreed there is a lot of work to be done on my part👍
Facing your discomfort is the most important thing for physical and mental growth. Way to go!
@@SparkyX3X absolutely
Same here. I'm on my way to slay the dragon. @sylvia470
I agree with all the compliments Steven gave Tracey at the end of this film. What a great gal. I especially like her response. Even given all the things she writes and speaks about, Steven still managed to make her blush proving to me that she really is a lovely person. xx
Your summation at the end was really beautiful, it’s such an important topic and so difficult to approach as humans find it so hard to find congruence between their animal instincts and our societal programming. More podcasts like this please, and what a lovely guest, she really wasn’t a “know it all”, she really seemed to genuinely be passionate about her work and you could feel it when she spoke ❤
Thank you so much for this. As a woman I learned so much about my own problems in just one hour. Thank you i think this can help a lot of woman and men 😊
This, for me, was the best interview on DOAC. All Tracey’s years of study and wisdom shared in what felt like a masterclass with practical tips. What a wonderful job you both have done🦋
Fantastic talk. I only wish it could have been longer so she could have discussed diet with regards to ED. ED is usually an early sign of atherosclerosis, which is a narrowing of the arteries due to plaque buildup (it isn’t that older men start having mental problems). Consider talking to a nutritionist if you have trouble with ED. People can often change their diet and get off all medications related to chronic lifestyle diseases. Whether you eat meat or not, consider eating a diet that is high in a wide variety of whole plant foods-whole intact grains (quinoa, millet, oats, teff), legumes (beans, lentils, chickpeas), vegetables (especially leafy greens and cruciferous veggies), fruits (berries are best), nuts, seeds-and mushrooms, and keep saturated fat, added sugar, and salt low. Vegan men (including those who eat soy) have lower PSA numbers, less ED, and the same testosterone levels as men who eat meat, so do not think you need to eat more steak to be more manly!
I feel like this was the best episode you've ever done. Captivating guest, important topic. So many of your episodes are incredible but when I think about how many people are going to leave this one with something real and practical, I think this it puts them above them all. Thank you for bringing us this experience.
Honestly I’ve been holding off watching videos/talks about sex because my experiences make me feel quite inadequate because men expect me/us to be stimulated by things that don’t stimulate me, like fingers and intercourse don’t do it for me, but this interview has actually made me feel much more normal because she’s stated around 80% of women are in the same boat as me, at least in some aspects. It’s been very helpful and hopeful.
To me it’s about paying attention to the small details, when we were first married she couldn’t have an orgasm but over the years as I’m paying attention to small details she got up to 2 orgasms in one session, so I was proud about that lol. Can’t help it but I am pleaser! 🥸😎🤓
yes and it's a known fact for centuries =) so no worries needed, like with a lot of things we just are unaware of because noone told us or we did not investigate ...
So what does stimulate??
Get at the core of the problem?
What an idiotic comment, communication is your issue, not what men think.
Awesome. It can be awkward/vulnerable to talk about what you want/need, or don't want with sex. Good luck
This podcast was the best thing ive ever listened this entire year. Thank you so much
“Love is kind, but it’s not blind” - absolutely genius!
So far, I just listened up to the 8:33 mark. I'm grimacing a bit, at the thought of being offended when someone says they don't think their partner would cheat.
My husband and I both say that we don't think the other would cheat. Granted we were friends for many years and saw one another in other relationships before we got married. But one thing I really appreciate about my husband (and hopefully continue to), is that he is always honest even when it is hard. A bit of the stereotype of someone without a filter, but I like that because he is very transparent.
I like to say, that knowing both of us, the most likely scenario would be an upfront conversation about a change in feelings, exiting the marriage, and then go on our separate paths. Now, that is not guaranteed, so I humbly admit that I can't predict the future. But based on what we know of one other, I find that a compliment, because it speaks to how respect ourselves and one another. But this hinges on us continuing to be transparent (including if one of us wants to end it for any reason).
Yeah these heathens just heathening. Take the good parts and disregard the rest
This was great! I agree with everything she says and it makes me feel completely vindicated that all the things I've been doing are actually valid...sometimes you lose confidence in your own intuition but having multiple partners does help you see what works...thank you!!
Great interview. Love your vulnerability & courage to open up about your relationship, Steven. And the way you ended the interview on high note of your guest is very professional and sincere. Just lovely.
I can relate to a lot of what she said. And I feel so much better for knowing I am not weird about my feelings (sexual and romantic). Thank you for the great podcast!
I love how you express your gratitude to your guests in the end. And you do it very well.
Thank you so much for having this guest on your show. It has helped me understand so much about my marriage and relationships.
Tracey! Thank you so much for these insane insights that you have provided the listeners with. My new goal in life is to read all your 17 books❤ You're so eloquent and humble, I hope when you relisten to this podcast you realise how magnificent and inspirational you are to young women like me, not just in terms of career but also how you carry yourself. Thank you for being so open and vulnerable here. I am only 20, but I will carry this knowledge about sex and life with me for decades to come. Steven, you did a fantastic job handling this sensitive topic so well and you were so respectful. Love how there is no awkwardness in discussing delicate subjects and it's strictly to increase awareness through facts, opinions and experiences and fulfill a mission. Much love and respect for both of you. (P.s. Tracey, your shirt is kinda based off the colour palette of an avocado 🥑)
This is an eye opening and life changing conversation. I can’t thank you enough for this. Thank you both! My life will not be the same after watching this.
Wonderful episode. Just a tip, I recently went off birth control after 10+ years and my sex drive came back with a vengeance. I feel like myself again and thought I had just lost most of it because of being in a long term relationship. Worth a try if you’re feeling the same!
I read that some contraceptive pills shrinks the size of the clitoris….
I'm trying this now also! Same story as you. My husband is happy about it as am I!
Please escuse my ignorance but what is birth control? What it means and do what? Thank you
Yess I have heard about it. Eho knew😊
@@CaptalnPIanet pills for wemen that prevents pregnancy
Great program! Relationships go through many phases and being resilient enough to hang in there through the tough times can lead to great fulfillment in the end. My marriage of 53+ years has not been without strife. Tracey's comment that it all comes down to childhood issues is so very true. Others have said that we choose our mates to help us work through those early programs. I'm grateful that we've stuck it out and at this point are literally basking in the 'fruits of our labours'. We also still make each other laugh and find stimulation in discussing a wide range of topics. This intellectual stimulation may be more important, in our case, than the physical; however, when I hear the stats surrounding sexless relationships, I shake my head in confusion ...it just never occurred to me that this was happening. I suppose we take our own situation to be the 'norm' and again, we've been very lucky. Thank you for searching out this wonderfully witty and informative 'sexpert'!
Ok and how haven’t I heard of you sooner I listen to podcast every day all day because I’m an equipment operator and have been for years. Wow it’s crazy. I ran into both of you today. Thank you for your work your time and your passion about peoples well-being, and the human raise you’re so conscious of everything you bless you, sir I believe he has and is continuing to I hope and I know that things are going where the expectation and I’m sure they have but I’m sure you know there’s more coming for how great of work
After 20 years of marriage I found myself in a low sex marriage mostly due to kids and built up resentment and contempt. We hit the reset button and made a rule..... SLEEP NAKED. Now 6 years later we still sleep naked and have sex at least once a day and several times a week more than once. We touch each other as often as we can. It has saved our marriage. We also rarely refuse each other sex.
Great advise
@@zaratheexplorer8290advice
That is a great marriage.
A very small price to pay for your marriages health. Simple, good ol' sex.
Tracey really knows what she's talking about. Engaging content from beginning to end, well done
Thanks Tracey, you are doing a great job by helping people the way you do. BIG HUG.
Not cheating is a moral, character, integrity thing. High compliment.
Exactly. There’s no excuse for cheating…either be honest to your partner if they’ve stopped trying or leave if it’s so bad you feel like you’re ready to cheat. But what you want is to definitely feel like your partner would never cheat lol. Anything other than that is the insult.
Yep. Heathens just heathening. Take the positive and disregard the rest from this
I am 73 years old and was married for 48 years but now widowed for 5 years. I enjoyed your program today. You are an interesting and intelligent interviewer.
very useful podcast steven you are great, at the end of the conversation your have complimented her to make her feel confident internally 👏👏
This is an amazing podcast. Such important information. And such lovely people. I really liked Tracey, her courage and her intelligence and then her openness at the end. That was the cherry. And Steven is just such a genuine and loving person. This is heart-warming.
0:21 0:23
I was not expecting to find this conversation interesting but it might be one of the best conversations I’ve listened to from this show
Same same
Amazing episode! Your channel has truly become the positive reinforcement & perspective I realize i may have been lacking in recent years. Another great guest and a perfect conversation on possibly one of the most important subjects in life.....just WOW. You both absolutely nailed this! Much respect & Thank you for your work!
Thank you for this openness and frank discussion about this subject. Tracey has been so helpful and supportive in giving insight into all aspects of relationships and sexual behavior
This is so validating. For decades I have felt alone and different when it comes to this topic. Thank you!
I agree with half of the things Tracey said and disagree with the other half, but overall, I enjoyed this episode a lot. There is a nice energy between Steven and Tracey and the interview overall flows very nicely,. To me this is an awesome example of a nice interaction between two people.
Man, she was destined to do this. It's in her bloodline, her father's parents, father's father's parents, and father's father's father's parents all did this as well. Its how the last name got it's meaning, they come from a long line of Cox,
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😂😂 im dying laughing now😂😂
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This was so enlightening and so much of what she said resonated as the truth for me, even tho much of it possibly shakes the "norms" of what we are ( by parents, education , society) taught to believe . Thank you for breaking down that construct and showing (particularly for women) that what we need can look quite different and that its ok to articulate that and have a voice. You are an inspiration to us all.!
This was the best video I’ve seen in a very long time! What a great talking session. Like, wow! Thank you both for this message ❤️
So compelling, didn't want this podcast to end and when it did I was searching for the replay button. Thank you Tracey and Steven
Thank you for listening Stewart!
Absolutely amazing episode. So many questions answered clearly. An absolute must-listen to anyone that has ever had a question about sex or relationships. Ordered the signed, pre-order book as well.
Lol her job is done so
Sexologist here from a different culture (scandinavia), also highly interested in numbers and scientific findings, just thought I'd ad some extra info bits.. I'm not too keen on how matter-of-fact the eminent Tracy Cox is, though she says good and true things. Will update along as I watch the talk. =)
* 20% of females can orgasm vaginally? Last I looked this up it was around 10%. 20 sounds a LOT. Maybe there are differences in culture/where one is from..? Doubt it though.
* Spontaneous lust/attraction is excistent in every person, but it correlates with factors such as how self-secure you are, how safe and happy you are in your sexuality and partner/-s, stress levels and much more.. Women are taught to be careful and not sure about themselves bodywise and sexually, basically from birth. If all genders were raised equally and with the same opportunities/expectations etc, we would most likely see very similar prevalence in spontaneous lust in a population. And everyone also has responsive lust/attraction. =)
* 100% agreement, a woman needs interesting sex that takes more than 10 min and only attention on the male/male genitals!!! But saying women need "wild, erotic sex" needs to be interpreted as "varied, erotic sex", not just whips, hairpulling and advanced BDSM techinques and maneuvers. Safe and sane, for advanced things there NEEDS to exist knowledge! Understanding how a body responds and is affected by certain actions (yes, thinking about oxygen deprivation for example,). I would have loved if she talked more about tantra, kama sutra, massage-sex and other activities that focus on a mental and full-body connection. Romance can be wild, the keys in my humble opinion are curiosity and playfulness. =) and communication. Always communication!
* 100000% agreement on everything she said on porn and her worries!!!!!!! I do my masters on porn and have also had horrible, terrifying findings. Fairtrade porn is a better option.
Tracey, I couldn’t stop watching this video. If you watch it, be proud of yourself. You kept it interesting every minute of it… it really was remarkable.
Since I've found this channel I don't enjoy listening to my other podcasts that just chit-chat. This is so much better and fulfilling, it is constructed and follows a conversation that makes sense. I'm so glad your channel found me.
I think long term relationships struggle with loss of sex due to boredom or just loss of spark. People are afraid to talk about it but I can't believe how common it is. But the video fell from heaven right when I needed it
Mmhhh if you found your PERSON that spark will not dye. I am telling you! Some of us are with the WRONG people! We stay in relationships with ppl we were not attracted to or fond of to begin with. FIND YOUR PERSON.
@@JoeanettaD how many years have you been with your 'person'?
@@livdon4197 10 years. Our relationship is still the same!
The honeymoon stage never dyed, we are both happy and fall more in love as the years go by.
@@JoeanettaD i'm just wondering how many years. if its not over 20 unfortunately you have not been there yet
Adding this to 'my favourite episode's' list! I always look forward to every episode. Such an important conversation.
Wow this was fascinating 😮 My favourite episode yet. This lady is so interesting, engaging and relatable. She’s so good at explaining and breaking down what she’s discussing. Plus I think I’m now armed with some important information for a next relationship.
Love Tracey for speaking the truth about parenting, sex frequency etc.
I have to say, Steven, that I bumped into your channel by accident a few weeks ago and have listened to a handful of films so far - you're actually a very good interviewer through asking questions which elicit detailed answers. You also don't interrupt the flow of the answers coming out of the guests. I think I owe you a like but moreso a subscription. Thank you for interesting content
Steven is a great interviewer. These specific skills are consistent throughout the entirety of this show and it’s amazing to witness. Incredible questions teamed with full of space for a thoughtful answer. He also has guests that know how to get to the answer in a really beautiful way. Articulate and informative.
Great discussion! I do have to say, that if my partner wanted to do something I am not comfortable with, I would offer to try it one time, but after we discuss all my reservations and my fears and his intensity of needing to do this.
I think the most important thing to get from this is to live and speak your truth unapologetically. Whether it be with sex or relationships, it's important to understand yourself and your own natural polarity before joining with a partner(s).
Listen up you guys!
THIS WOMAN IS SO ON THE BALL .She Really knows what she is talking about
Take notice and stop taking about Stephens book (which I have ordered) and listen to the advice
She gives fantastic sensible advice !
What did she say ...that's SO interesting...
1.
2.
@@Ste2023 she said that you don't satisfy any women
@@m.a.1874 what's the evidence
@@Ste2023 women
Thats not what she said.
AT ALL.
And what she had said is her interpretation.
She has no actual clinical research behind her that she accomplished.
There is SO MUCH OTHER INFORMATION
to tie into this, that she does not touch on.
Her view is a completely femminist/me generation/hypergamy/solopsistic .
It WILL NOT end well.
I am very specific with my hubby, and he is so giving! We love to talk about what we do in the bedroom, sometimes even _in_ the bed 😊❤ He loves that afterward I'm praising him for certain things he tried during foreplay that blew my mind!!! And he does the same!
I'm so glad this convo is happening.❤
I can say, the past partners I've had, none of these boys knew about a woman's body, and none of them asked questions or explored me at all, which made me feel like an object and of course, intimacy died off.
Great quote:
"If they enjoyed it, why would they avoid it?"
Read books, watch videos like this and most importantly, talk to your partner! It may be strange at first but then it becomes a _part_ of the foreplay and can really rev things up!!
I'll add, religion and purity culture really screwed me up for a while. Part of how women learn their bodies is through masturbation~ so when you're taught that's wrong, then you have women who don't know what turns them on, then you pair them with religious men who've ALSO gotten all kinds of false and damaging info regarding sex/intimacy! It all tumbles into horrible sex 😢
Also, the "obligation sex" message the Church teaches men and women is DESTROYING marriages!
Nobody wants to have sex when it's expected/demanded of you with NO thoughts of your own pleasure, as a woman.
Come on Church, you guys can do better!!
Sheila Gregorie's books are amazing. "The great sex rescue", "the good guys guid to great sex", "the good girls guid to great sex" and "she deserves better" are all amazing books!!
Your way of talking about men is very sexist. A man does not suddenly become a boy just because he is not interested in your sexual desires. Otherwise, it should be okay for you to call women who don't serve the sexual interests of men girls.
Tracey is brilliant! She demolishes traditional beliefs with her no-nonsense, in-depth level of awareness and knowledge.
I agree with most things said in this very educational episode. Giving instructions in sex does not have to be robotic. You can say it in a sexy and very passionate voice which does not put your partner off. It works for me.
Yes! Just recently had a partner like this and it was really sexy knowing I was pleasing him. Hard to be vocal like that though if you're not used to it
Steven and Tracey, thank you both for sharing such a Great Conversation! A Great topic that is helpful and applicable to All of us. Totally Enjoyed this podcast as I much as I have Enjoyed all of your other podcasts!! It is Greatly Appreciated!!! 💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚
I rarely comment on videos but I'm hoping Tracey will read this. I sat in my car, in the dark, and watched the whole interview all while I had to be preparing for an interview instead. My responses to the interview:
1) I am what Tracey calls the alpha woman, a high achiever, belonging to that mid generation stuck between modernity and tradition, have matched and chatted to easily over 500 men on online dating aps, went on dates with a selection of them but never found that one partner. Partially because of lack of time, high and incorrect expectations, not wanting to commit to a relationship before finding financial stability (due to past experiences), and not allowing myself to embrace who I am, my desires or to really accept affection from a partner (also due to up bringing). A psychologist told me to revise and limit my wishlis if I really wanted a relationship and a partner, just as Tracie suggested, but I think that feels like another compromise. I tried to compromise with two separate men (consecutively) and walked out of both relationships feeling disappointed and deciding to never ever compromise again. I've earned my life the hard way so having a slacker of a partner (relatively speaking) will never feel pleasing.... But at the same time, I think other alpha men aren't comfortable around alpha women so it makes it a lot harder to find the perfect match... I sometimes think, maybe I should've just found a partner when I was younger... But my friend reminded me that you would've been the same person and settling before achieving what you have now wouldn't have put you in a more desirable and satisfying situation...
2) thank you, Tracey, for helping me realise that I am a normal woman. A bicurious, variety seeking, high sex drive woman that fantasizes about multiple sexual partners but also wants love, intimacy, affection, care, loyalty and family formation... Unfortunately all of the former have been dampened by an extremely conservative upbringing. Im in my mid 30s and still discovering sex and relationships
3) vibrators do stimulate orgasm but I think my body sees it as short circuiting. It's a forced orgasm that shuts off all the other sensations from touch afterwards...
Sending this video to all my friends right away!
Amen
Amen too !
Wow this was captivating from start to finish. A life changing conversation. Thank you Steven and team!
Thank you for this! From women everywhere… for us on a date night it can even be a hand on the back, play with the hair. Small intimate things. Not pretend you’re a bloke and then get home and want to go at it.
Congratulations on the completion of your book ! Listening to the show now 👍
I would love to see Kim Anami on this podcast! She talks about numb vaginas and how women can get the feeling back and strengthen their pelvic floor which brings back a lot of desire for sex for women! She also talks about healing sexual trauma and so many other things, she’s really great and it would be nice to get another POV 😁
🎉 for Kim Amani!
Yesss get Kim Anami
Yes
Thank you for sharing this information. Will look for her teaching.
Yes! Kim Anami has very different views also on the use of vibrators and she says there is no need for more then one partner..
Excellent guest. This interview completely resonates with me and my situation
One of the best podcasts on the topic which I have ever listened to!! Great job, congratulations! Greetings from Germany.
I listen to a lot of educational TH-cam videos while working. This channel, that I recently started listening to, has been such a great experience for me. This will probably be one of my favorite the more I watch. Thank you for creating these!
Btw, she was a wonderful person to listen to and learn from.