The Fear of Letting Go of Clutter - Hidden Decluttering Roadblocks
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 ต.ค. 2024
- Do you have the fear of letting go of clutter? Do you keep stuff just in case you will need it someday? Or, are you hanging on to new items that you paid good money for but haven't used yet? If you answered yes to any of these, you are not alone. But you do have choices when it comes to #decluttering and #declutteringmorivation
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Thank you for treating her with respect and dignity.
Thanks so much for watching the video and taking the time to leave a comment. I appreciate you : )
What helped me was to find a thrift store that supported a charity I could endorse. I chose one that supports local children and adults with disabilities.
That’s what I did with my hoard. I was surprised how good it felt to get rid of it all. I’m still in “hoarder rehab”. The struggle is real.
Nancy, I love that you found a charity and thrift store you could endorse. Keep me posted on what you are donating to the store. 👍
I am so grateful for the love that you demonstrate through how you deal with and talk about things in your videos. It feels so raw and true and good. I thank God for you and pray that the same love multiplied is shown to you. 🌺🌻
Aww, thank you so much for your lovely and kind words, you made my day! Sending blessings and hugs your way. 🙏🤗😊
You are the only person I have seen who seems to acknowledge the link between cleaning and mental health. Because of you I am doing a little bit every day and things are starting to come together. Sometimes all it needs is foe someone to tell you that ehat you are experiencing is real and OK. Thank you Angela, the difference you are making is incredible and so appreciated xxx
This put a big smile on my face and made my heart happy!! Thank you so much for your kinds words! I'm so glad that the video was helpful. Sending you positive vibes and big virtual hugs!! You got this Gill!!😊🤗🤗🙌
@@AskAngelaBrown I'm so glad you feel as appreciated as you are. 5 extra dishes per day makes such a difference and I'm being kinder to myself, and that's down to you xxx
Angela brown you are better than my therapist....thank you
Jodie, You are very kind, thank you! 🤗
BIG fear of letting go! The guilt is real!
It really is but know that you are not alone. 🤗
What I love about Angela Brown is your relentless encouraging spirit , always lifting people up ❤️
You are so kind, thank you! 👍
Hi, I'm in the middle of trying to declutter my home, things really spiralled out of control for me during the covid lockdowns and I'm still trying to get on top of it, my home is small. Sometimes i feel like I'm just moving stuff around rather than getting rid of anything, then motivation falls away, I do seem to find a reason to keep things (I'll find a use for that someday!) I'm someone that tends to repurpose items. I've been following your channel and think it's one of the best for practical straight forward advice, thank you for all you are doing to help people like me!
You are so kind, thank you!
This sounds just like me. It's so difficult and I can't get out of this depression. Im glad I just found this channel☮💜☯️
This Really Helped me 😊.
Luke 6:38 (KJV)
38 Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.
I decided a long time ago, i loved garage/yard sales but I never felt like having one of my own when it came to getting rid of things. Then I came across this verse and Realized, I can just let go of things freely to others or Good Will or wherever it made sense and I did not to fret or feel bad. These things were just going to be used in a different way. Also as I have decluttered, I really have lost the desire to buy much - if I am asked if I will take something or consider purchasing an item, I first consider, where will I put it, do I need it etc. If we had different ideas and now we want to change things up, its All okay!!! I think what you did with your books is Awesome - Great Sharing!
Super helpful --- I had never applied this Scripture to parting with collections/possessions/excess.
Jodi, Thanks so much for sharing this wisdom here. 😊
I really appreciate you Angela. You are so calm and reassuring and nonjudgmental. You make me almost think I can do this.
Jill, You can do this, I am routing for you! Keep me posted on how you are doing. 😊
Best advice I’ve ever heard in years and you say it with no judgement. The judgement from others just makes it so much worse. I get overwhelmed and I don’t have the motivation, I grew up in a spotless home with a younger brother who would never help me clean. I would do the work to keep Mom happy and keep the peace, then I married a hoarder (I didn’t know he was a hoarder until after the marriage) and lost control of my home. He passed away almost 5 months ago after a 36 year marriage.and Some family members tried to help clean it out but they just dumped drawers full of good useful items without asking me first. My daughter took over while I was caring for my Mom and acted like it was her house and I was an intruder! it only made things worse. I’m so ready to take back control of my own life so I’m taking some time off to travel first, I need to go back with fresh eyes and renewed energy after being at home for 7 years with a very sick husband. Thank you so much for what you’re doing here, I subscribed to your channel. I’m spending time with my other grown daughter who lives 8 hours away and watching how she keeps her huge new house looking gorgeous. It’s so peaceful and calming to be in nice clean surroundings for a change. I have some health issues too but I’m so sick of living this way. I will be taking your advice and seeking other help as needed. Watching a spouse die slowly from a horrible disease is depressing for sure but it’s getting better day by day. Thanks again, I have hope for the future finally. 💕💕💕
I appreciate you reaching out to share your story. I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. Please keep me updated on how you are doing when you return from visiting your daughter. I’m routing for you! 🤗
@@AskAngelaBrown 🥰
My mom would love all those books. A good place to give items to would be assisted living places. I’m sure the residents could use some items for their individual apartments (lamps, chairs, dishes, wall art, linens, clothes, etc, as long as they’re safe for the residents- no rugs though because they’re a fall hazard) because they live on fixed incomes. I donated a case of cat food to our vet’s office because our cats wouldn’t eat it, but I’m sure someone else’s cat would because cats are so picky 😼I’m getting ready to donate my clothes. I have a lot of nice shoes and blouses I’ve never worn, and I feel that guilt, too.
Thanks so much for sharing. Great idea about the cat food. 👍
I just sold 500 record albums from high school and college. Also sold beautiful pottery and some antique dishes at a local consignment store. There was a twang during/after each transaction, but the feeling of freedom while driving away was wonderful!!
Woo Hoo! I bet you feel lighter too without so much stuff holding you down.
Do they pay you upfront or after the sale ?
And when you are done getting rid of something, say, I did it and that was easy! If you do it every time you build a positive connection with your mind to simplifying your life.
This is such a great tip, I love that! Thanks for sharing!!
Good answers! Think about this: if we go to a movie or a restaurant and the show/food doesn't end up rewarding, we don't usually agonize over the money spent. Or how about a gym membership we rarely use? Eventually we chalk it up to an idea that didn't work and we move on. Right?
Useful insight! Thanks.
Excellent
You should make videos. Or a podcast.
Great way to think about things! 👍
An unused gym membership is like 😱.
I have issues with executive dysfunction, so cleaning has always been an all or nothing kind of thing for me. Watching your channel has helped me pick up good habits to keep me from reaching the point of accumulating too much stuff, but my organization skills are still in development! When I was/am at my worst, I get so fed up with my mess and clutter that I tend to just throw a good 2/3 of my belongings away - not that I have much, but my space is small and I get overwhelmed by what it would take to properly sort through it all. I feel the caller's pain, because I've tossed/lost/let a lot of cool stuff get damaged via neglect that could have been preserved had I taken more care to keep a neater home and been more careful in my sorting and judicious in my organizing, but at a certain point, done is better than perfect.
Very good. Helpful comment. I'm going to adopt your motto, "Done is better than perfect."
Thanks so much for watching the show and taking the time to leave a comment. 👍
I too have executive functioning issues. I just found out about it through MRI and Neuro/psychiatric exams. I’m not sure if that is why I have so much trouble keeping up with my mess and why I still have so much in my garage that I need to do something with.
It’s nice to know that someone else out there has executive function. I had one psychologist who wondered how I finished a masters degree with honors.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Working with hoarders fixed that for me! What an eye opener.
I appreciate you reaching out and leaving a comment.
THIS right here has been my issue. Clutter. I had a few clutter-free years and it was wonderful. Then I became a packrat again. It weights a person down in every way imaginable, even spiritually. God never wanted us to hold on to 'things,' to the extent that they hurt people. People matter more than things. I'm so glad you address real issues!
I like what you wrote: “people matter more than things.” Thank you so much for sharing! 👍
Beautiful Video by a Very Wise Wonderful Woman. 💞❣️💞💗
Aww, you are very kind, I appreciate you. 😊
I sell things on eBay all the time, and it's mostly old clutter I want to get rid of. There's nothing to it, the secret is to list just a few items at a time, so as not to over-stretch yourself.
Thanks for the great tip!!😎
How about using a consignment shop, where they do the storage, sales, and advertising for her?
Yes, this is among the many possibilities. Thanks for mentioning it. It is a great way to let go without completely letting go until the item is sold.
One thing about feeling bad about spending the money originally, remember you supported your local community when you bought those things, thrift stores often donate to charities, and rummage sales support local families directly. Kind of cool of you.
Karla, Thank you for sharing, this is a great point. 👍
Thanks for this video. Really appreciate your work. Last night I decided that there there are 2 places (in my road 😊) that I can donate my books to: at the little mall 300 metres away, the people who help feral cats have a book sale every Saturday; and, then there's a library there as well.
I still need to get to do it (I will do it). The idea that set me free here is knowing I can still access these books electronically if I ever want to read or reference them again.
I will start with the easier choices first with my books. 🙏
There you go. I love that you are starting with the easier choices first. That will create space + momentum which is a healthy and forward place to start. Keep me posted, I'm here rooting for you.
@@AskAngelaBrown Thank you 🙏
Excellent points to consider.
Glad you feel that way. 😊
Girl! We love your videos! Your advice and ideas have helped us with our company in a big way! We definitely think alike in many ways! We are also writers and we just covered this awesome topic a couple weeks back; we'd sure love your input! Great videos!
Ps, we still have around 10,000 hard copies! We have our collection stored in a unit special for it! But your story of donating your collection is awesome! Great motivation
Thanks for your kind words of encouragement and support. Yes, we writers are guilty of book collecting. Thanks for joining the conversation. 😍
Unfortunately, my clutter went up in flames from a house fire. Now, I’m dealing with what I can salvage…
Oh no! I’m so very sorry for what you are going through! I had a fire in my apartment when I was 19, and although I hardly owned anything, it was traumatic… I hope you can recover some of your things, and that you have a future of hope and blessings. 🙏🏻
Oh wow, sorry that happened to you
Cynthia, I am so sorry you lost your belongings in a fire. Sending hugs and prayers to you to help you get through this terrible event. 🤗 🙏
Im loving all your decluttering content! I joined your FB hoarding group a while back. I like it. I’m not a hoarder but I do have a lot of stuff. As far as your caller goes, I can relate to this topic because I am a reseller, and the clutter gets really out of control, really fast, if I’m not feeling great (depression) or if I am really busy and not working as much (I’m a mom of smaller kids)…I struggle with letting things go that need to be donated and NOT sold. Not everything can be sold or is for ME to sell. But the letting go and the FOMO is real and the struggle is hard! I love your suggestion to sell digital items instead of physical items. So that way you can be in business for yourself still, but not have to deal with inventory. I myself have been battling this by choosing items that are NOT large and that are NOT hard to store.
Thank you for the support and inspiration. ❤️
Thanks for joining us both here and in the FB group. I appreciate you taking the time to drop me a line. Donating good and useful things is something to think twice about. You are wise for being prudent with your spending and resourceful enough to reuse and recycle things. The reason we encourage people to donate is when the items are interfering with the quality of life - they are causing overwhelm, stress, or trip hazards. 🤗
Donating is good, but maybe she could sell just a few of the higher value items, too. It wouldn't be as overwhelming and she can recover some of the money she invested along with helping others with donated items.
Thanks for sharing. 👍
You helped me already by introducing the "One Box at the time " method to my life.
I started the process with the mindset, that I will throw out or donate at first only as much stuff as necessary to give me enough wiggle room to do something with my stuff. (Like selling, crafting etc).
This takes away the pain of loss, the guilt and keeps me motivated.
I am curious, if I'll get to the end result this way....a cleaner home, where I can be creative with projects and have fun.
Karla, I appreciate you watching the video and leaving me a comment. I’m glad you like the concepts from the show and that they are helping keep you motivated. I’m routing for you!
Thanks Angela, for your understanding.
Sure. Thanks for watching and for your kind and supportive words. 🤗
Yay! Another book lover! I taught college English (lots of different courses) for 4 decades, so I have had so many books. (I can use that tense b/c I have fewer now, though still a ton.) Letting go of school stuff has been hard since I retired, but the books really are hard b/c they’ve been my life, my friends! Anyway, I’m making progress, & one of the best things was your statement in another video: “If you don’t (use it, wear it, do it), you won’t!” I shared that (& gave you credit) on another YT video, & several people commented that it helped them. So yay, Angela! Thanks!
Thanks for your comments and updates. And thank you for teaching and educating others. Hats off to you for the legacy you've left behind. 🙏
@@AskAngelaBrown So very kind of you, Angela! Teaching truly was my calling. I LOVED it!
Always on point, always relevant. Thank you for posting.
Thanks so much Betsy!
My mantra has become For wanting more than I need, deliver me Lord Jesus. It’s hard but I have come to realize this clutter is excess and not a help but an obstacle and these things will bless someone else Coming to sentimental things of my loved ones, I say a prayer for that person, tell them how much I love them and put it in the donate box. I keep a few things but if I let my emotions take over I would cling to every scrap. I’ve made a good dent in it and now there is clean up I’m on some medication too.
I love your mantra and how you are letting go. Emotional attachments make it so much harder to let go. But you are doing great, keep it up!
Dear Angela -
This is the first time I've truly lived by myself in 25 - 30 years.
I'm pleased that I haven't let the place get like my last roommate's, and I want to allow a considerable collection of "off-season goods" go. There *are* several resale shops near me.
OTOH, I'm subject to "These are so nice, How can I ever replace them with +/= quality?"
Sunk-cost fallacy?
Another issue is "So much Paper!!"
I almost don't know where to start.
Thank you for any help you can offer. 🙏
Hi Karen, Congratulations on living alone and that you've been keeping the place up. Let's talk about paper clutter on the next Clutter Corner Live. We'll take questions live on Thursday of next week. Come join us. 2:00pm EDT #ClutterCornerLive
@@AskAngelaBrown I'd Love to join you! I do have a class on Thursday 2pms, though. Can I catch a replay?
Angela. I found your channel, and Im obsessed. Lol. I love watching youtube decorators, and I have a few favorites, but I found you, and you are so helpful. Im the one who despised cords, and when you answered me, I was very surprised. My son has a youtube channel, and he has 20,300 subs now. He does tech reviews on earbuds, speakers, etc. I know how much you tube creators love their comments, so I comment on my favorite you tube people. Thanks Angela, for your very helpful suggestions. I’m definitely a fan.👍🏻
Margie, I appreciate you reaching out to let me know you find the suggestions helpful. Best wishes to your son with his channel. 20K subscribers is great! 👍
Hello Margie how are you doing today How's everything going?
Yes books books books mind shift needed. 😂
Good luck! And thank you for watching! 🤗
I'm so glad I found this video. Thanks!
Thank you for the video, Angela.
I appreciate it! ❤️
You are welcome. 😊
As always… sooooo insightful. Thanks so much for this Angela
You are welcome. 😊
Oh my goodness you are fabulous you said the most wonderful things I have heard all day all week probably all month and maybe even more thank you for being gracious and fantastic and positive.
You are so welcome! Thank you for your kind words and for taking the time to write this comment, I appreciate it! 😊
As alway, this is very helpful.
Susan, You are very kind, thank you. 😊
Hello Susan how are you doing today How's everything going?
Love your wisdom so much! 🥰🌸💖
You are so kind, thank you. 😊
What can be done about donators regret? I don't get that attached to very many things and can easily get rid of stuff. But several times I have regretted giving away. Also, I can clean out drawers and closets too quickly then I can't remember if I gave something away or kept it. Do you have any suggestions for that? Love your information, thanks for all you do.
would it help to take a photo of it before donating? i find i idealize things that i think i gave away, ie "gone forever" but sometimes i find them in some other place, and think, "well, it isn't as nice or glorious as I remember..." the photo isn't going to hide flaws, like a selective memory, and if you miss it, you can also visit the photo.
My goodness , I do .
Rachel, I appreciate you watching the show and taking the time to leave a comment. 🤗
I’m an invalid and husband tries to do the work…my is house very dusty, my floors need cleaning my rugs , my stove and backsplash, windows, my frig. My bathrooms , my base boards , my my kitchen 😂😂draws. My glass cabinets , my piano , all the furniture, ect. How much will it cost and how lon g will it take. I’m trying to prep my house to sell.
I understand you are preparing your home to put on the market. I suggest you get a cleaning estimate. Thanks so much for watching the show. 👍
I work hard at letting go but I try to donate to St Vincent de Paul, where I bought much if it. I also take old jeans and turn them in the bags
I have moved twice in four tears and I also learned to give up stuff because I down sized
Denise, I love that you upcycled jeans into bags. 👍
Thanks so much for sharing. 😊
QUESTION….is there a resource for CUSTOMERS to find Certified Savvy Cleaner?????
We've been sending people over to housecleaning360.com but I think you're right, there needs to be a different database with just the certified cleaners in it. Thanks for mentioning this. I'll have our team get right on that.
@@AskAngelaBrown It could be a great benefit to those who go thru your program. A "marketing" opportunity they "earned" as it sets them apart. Thanks for the quick response.
Hi there
In the past, whenever I "remove something" from my house . . . 3 weeks later "something" happens and I think to myself "drat" I could have used that for this sudden situation / accident / mishap / circumstance . . . And I've had it in my house for years and years! and never used it or needed it ! ! !
This is the reason why I don't remove things from my house.
So . . . What's the solution(s) please?
I know it "depends on what it is".
Thank you.
Jon 😃 👍
Jon ... this is EXACTLY what my Mom used to say and what actually turned me into a packrat!
It does depend on what it is and how long you’ve had it sitting there. But if you’ve had something for ten years and never used it there is a good chance you won’t need it in the future.
@@briannab5296
Thanks for replying.
So: have you found any solutions?
I feel this, but I have to look at the net gains. If I get rid of 100 things that are taking up space, and then the need arises for one or two of those things, and have to replace them, it's still a huge win. If I'm honest, I find that this doesn't happen that often and truly is a small percent of stuff I have let go. The vast majority, I don't even miss or have a use for. I also find that when there is too much clutter, sometimes I can't even find the thing I needed to use, and end up getting another one anyway (Your situation may vary--I'm chronically disorganized).
You can also apply the 20/20 Rule from The Minimalists--"if you can replace it in 20 minutes or for less than 20 dollars, then go ahead and let it go. To me, it's worth a few sacrifices of having to get something again to gain the space and freedom and peace of mind. I can also think of a creative way to get the thing I got rid of. Can I get it used? Can I borrow it? I just learned about Tool Libraries in some communities, where they lend out tools and you don't have to buy them. How cool is that?
@@SCAM-BUSTER.777 ... nope 😊
What if it's a spouse is collecting things that have spilled over into the living room, dining room, etc.? I don't even watch TV in the living room anymore the atmosphere is too claustrophobic and obviously I haven't cleaned there for months either. There are literally boxes stacked to the ceiling.
If someone else in the house (or other dwelling) or workplace are making a mess or hoarding; it can become an ongoing issue and even lead to a relationship breakdown if not handled in a way that both sides are OK with the outcome. It could be a simple matter of disorganisation, a shopping addiction because of feelings of insecurity etc or a serious hoarding disorder. Basically it's a different issue to making and dealing with messes and hoards made by yourself. It may not be something that can be discussed and diagnosed online even by a professional experienced in the matter, hoarding or otherwise. And would need the full cooperation of the person making the mess or hoard! It's probably quite possible to have a solution but would need understanding the reasons, support and time if the person is a hoarder.
Good point!
My problem is going through all my kids school papers and artwork from when they were little.. I feel like I’ll be throwing away memories and that hurts! But I know I need to do it I just don’t know where to start!
My mom saved things from our childhood. She gave them back to us in packages every time we had a milestone birthday. It’s always a nostalgic surprise plus we get to decide if we want to keep these things or not.
@@kaybee5162 that’s a great idea!
My mom did the same for me a few years ago, she turned it into a scrapbook for me ☺️
These are great ideas! Thanks for sharing : )
Scrap book for these memories is fantastic
Bind them together
And return for their childrend children to next be inspired from.
Do you do personal consulting?
Do you need help decluttering or with a house cleaning business?
What inspired you to start TH-cam
I sold by cleaning business at the end of 2015 and moved into coaching cleaning clients full time. Now I still clean am still on site frequently but with clients rather than my own accounts. Reaching those clients online was easier with the help of TH-cam and podcasting.
I fear feeling lonely sad and empty 😢
I understand that the fear of feeling lonely, sad, and empty can be overwhelming. It's important to seek support from friends, family, or professionals who can provide understanding and guidance. Engaging in activities you enjoy, practicing self-care, and connecting with like-minded communities can also help combat those feelings. Remember, reaching out for help is a sign of strength, and there are resources available to support you through difficult emotions. You are not alone!
EBay is not cost effective any more so I just give my stuff to charities - clothes, fabric and craft supplies
Thanks so much for sharing : )
Hello sue how are you doing today How's everything going?
Why did you not sale the items?
Hello Connie how are you doing today How's everything going?
Plans and priorities change as do people's health, interests etc. This is more common than one might think.
Do u find that mostly creative types have more emotions with stuff, over analytical people ?
+Jean Live s no, not really. Analytical people can think their way into keeping things they don’t use, don’t need or want for very good and compelling reasons.
Some of the biggest clutter bugs and hoarders I’ve met are analytical and practical types.
How can I write cleaning quotes
In order to write a quote it’s best to do a walkthrough. Here is a playlist on that topic: th-cam.com/play/PLh1fKdNH3piQZL88sKjQArtkEa9C1ruyM.html
Wow wait you are on I love you, oh this is me eBay stuff👼💜🐶🧚🏿♀️oh except I helped at this store for the animals I’m also not depressed just I want to go through it now since I learned since 2019 ( still learning) what is worth selling And what I want to sell And I want to get rid of the rest it is overwhelming.. you are so awesome, I think if you everyday thanksI was just thinking I want to know what smoothie you drink in the morning And that sometimes caffeine does not work with me either, maybe Starbucks, oh i wonder how to go through it all like you do with the table🐾🐕🦺🐶
Teresa, Thanks so much for watching the show and taking the time to leave a comment. I have a show about eating to stay energized: th-cam.com/video/_EzP1eJXkI4/w-d-xo.html
Check it out and let me know what you think : )
It must have been terribly difficult to let go of your real books. That makes me sad for you. I hope you don't miss them. I know I would.
I do love books but I have access to so many more books now through e-readers! They are amazing. 🤩
Lisbet I agree with you. Reading from a screen is harder on my eyes (something about the light I think?). Plus I enjoy the smell of the paper, ink, & glue. I’ve already donated a lot of my books, but there are probably more I could donate that I wouldn’t miss. It’s the decision making that makes it so slow and tedious. Maybe if I just take down a certain number at a time (10?) and decide which of those to keep or donate, it would be kind of like the one box method Angela described…
Would the amount of things that she has, just from my own experience with OCD she may have it. Accumulation and things like that are a form of OCD that a lot of people don't realize. If it's something that's really interfering with her life life itself is probably a good idea maybe she talked to a therapist or someone. And I'm not talking this in a bad way. I'm talking about this in a good way. That that's an awful lot of accumulation and it will just interfere in your life and it will just obsess every minute of your life including your thoughts
Thanks so much for watching the show and taking the time to leave a comment. 👍
Hello Carolyn how are you doing today How's everything going?
What is your Facebook page nam I can’t find you🌻👼🧚🏿♀️🐾💜
All the links to my social media platforms can be found in the show notes description, but here's the Facebook link: Facebook.com/SavvyCleaner
ｐｒｏｍｏｓｍ 😥
You got this, sending hugs. 🤗