I am a 60 year old male and I'm on the verge of tears listening to this. Stuff is literally ruining my life on so many levels. It causes so much stress, but how do I deal with stress? I shop, of course! I buy MORE stuff that I don't need. I'm writing this while sitting in a room that is jam packed with stuff. One of my biggest fears is experiencing some sort of emergency where someone would need to come into my house. I would die a thousand deaths if my friends ever saw what my house looks like on a day-to-day basis. It literally takes me days to pick up my house just to have company for a few hours every now and then, which is rare. Then it goes right back to the way it was. My house is stifling my ability to have relationships and to enjoy life. It's not only cluttered, but it's dirty because it's too hard to clean around clutter. I've been like this my entire life and I don't know why. I would love to have an opportunity to meet others who are very motivated to overcome this problem and work on it together. Therefore, I'm heading to your Facebook page now! I'm so glad I found this video!!!
I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling with clutter, and I'm glad that you found the video helpful. It sounds like clutter is causing a lot of stress and anxiety in your life, and I understand how overwhelming it can feel. It's great that you're reaching out and looking for support. Connecting with others who are motivated to overcome clutter can be a great way to stay accountable and work towards your goals together. I hope you find the community on our Facebook page helpful and supportive. Remember that taking small steps each day can lead to big changes over time. I look forward to having you in the group and I'll be rooting for you!
I am a sufferer as well as a licensed psychotherapist. There probably is more going on underneath that needs to be cleared up. I just found this channel also and it resonates with me and the way I help others. Because of empty nest and parents passing away I have accumulated stuff along with not getting rid of clothes and things I’ve collected all my life It is nice to speak to others no shame no blame just clear and heal the wounds that keep us stuck. Replace a negative thought and behavior with positive ones helps. Support and witnesses of our growth to give encouragement is so powerful. New research says move first thing in the morning for your brain as well as your body. We think better and our mood is lighter also to deal with making changes. See you in the community.
I had a ton of mail to go thru, so I worked on it while I listened. In just this one hour - I got it done! Paper is definitely my biggest clutter issue.
Omg yes. Paperwork just hangs over me for months, and then once I'm forced to do something with it (ie organise it for my accountant for tax) it's NEVER as overwhelming in reality as it has been in my mind. Every year!!!
@@robynirons194 I get a folder and write on the folder taxes 2023. I stick it in my file cabinet. So I know what to do with it when they come in. In the mean time I have the rest of the paper clutter to deal with.😂
@@copperhousefarm4794 I used to do that, but when one thing goes then everything goes. Sort of all or nothing, but I'm working on getting back to "adulting".
When my grandson said he was going to go out on his own I told him I would outfit his kitchen because I had duplicates of things. He loves vintage as do I so it was a win win. He saved money setting up his first home & I was able to get rid of duplicates to someone who appreciates the same things I do. 🙂
I did same thing when daughter married 20 years ago. That helped them not have to buy things until they decided exactly what they wanted. Still has some of those items, but she keeps a nice house!😮
I did exactly the same with my grandson and other family members. I go to their homes and see my furniture and other stuff, it makes me feel good knowing it’s being used. Thanks Angela, your one smart lady. 😉
Clutter can lead to depression, shame, and isolation as we try to hide our situation. Seeking support and taking steps to address the clutter can improve well-being. Remember, you deserve a clutter-free space that nurtures your well-being.
The shame of it can eat you up. Especially if you have been a conscientious person. The shame is a little like the clutter itself, taking your space. Occupying your mind. Twisting your emotions. Tripping you up. Nip, nip, nip. Sitting on the edge of the bed, shifting it in the night, or moving INTO your sleeping space, cramping you up, freezing you out. Shame can make you curl up into a little ball and feel like you are disappearing. As your home disappears. As you lose yourself. Your hobbies. The items you care about or once utilized. The shame takes on a power that is bigger than you. It surrounds you like a strait jacket. It contaminates your lungs. It takes a lot to climb out of that dark. To conquer that mountain. It seems so daunting! You are already exhausted! How CAN you? How often people paint on a smile to go and act normally in the world, and they take all that stuff, that house, those emotions, and they try to SHOVE them back into the corner, or they draw the curtain or plant a hedge or lock the door.
You mentioned hobbies. I spent most of my life loving creating artwork and music. When I was "in balance",I noticed something: things got messy after a creative burst,but it's like breathing. Part of the cycle is the reward of cleaning up and putting things in their place to prepare for the next creative burst. That cycle CAN be very rewarding. Mentally re-framing things to prepare to receive the rewards can be very motivating.🕯️
Wow your words hit me hard. I know a lady in my community that owns a home and lives alone. During social events she shows up looking sharp and neat but she always joins the people clearing up after the gathering and she offers to take the garbage bags, usually paper plates, cups and little leftovers. So one day another lady asked me to go follow her to make sure she is ok dumping the bags. I follow her and she takes all of the bags to her car! I stay behind so she did not see me but when she walked on I went to look at her car, the tires needed more air, the car was loaded with bags and stuff, so much her drivers seat was already partially covered. I was so shocked and told another person at the event and she said she had heard rumors about her having a cluttered home. A few other ladies were also aware but felt there is nothing we could do. They all conclude she needs help but nobody wants to speak to her about it. Reading your comment makes me look at that lady and I believe we should speak to her. Would you have wanted to people approach you?
@@MaryJohanna I suppose it depends on the intention. When I lived within a cluttery space, it was partly due to a death in the family....the clearing out of those possessions in her home so that they landed in my home for a time. It was overwhelming for a long period to just figure out what to do with it all. There was also a time too when I hurt myself physically and fell behind on yard work and the like. My neighbor offered to help, but I would only accept it if he allowed me to pay him. You see, I didn't know him beyond acquaintance. I remember the time when I was out of town caring for a dying relative, and the HOA in my neighborhood called to complain that two trees had died in my front yard at home so they needed to be cut down. So....I share those experiences because it is tricky when you are dealing with someone you don't know well. I am a collector at heart, and I am not neat by any stretch of the imagination. So....trying to put myself in that woman's situation ...I can only make a guess or two. Does she have friends? Relatives? Does she receive visitors? What is her personality like? Does she seem genuine and down to earth, or is she more worried about impressions? What if you asked her in a friendly way why she collected the trash after each event? Would she resent being asked? You say she attends social events, so she must not be isolated. If she has friends and seems happy, then I don't know if I would speak to her. That would be up to her friends and family. No one wants to be called out by a stranger. On the other hand, if the lady seems isolated and possibly NEEDS a friend, then that's where I'd start. And it would be a very slow process and about being her friend, not with the goal of seeing her clean herself up. It must start with respect and appreciation for her. Even if she has an issue, her home and car etc. are her own. They are her private space. To come into that space, you need to be invited. It could be that she actually likes the clutter, or maybe she collects items for reasons you can't guess. She might have a perfectly healthy home, even if it trips her up once in a while. She might be at peace in that world. I don't mean to write an essay, but I would say that I would love help for all sorts of things, from someone who cares for me. From such a person I can take advice or certain criticisms or judgments. But if a neighbor, or worse, a group of neighbors, approached me to tell me that I seemed to have a problem.... I would either feel ashamed or angry. The first thing to come to mind would probably be, "What business is that of yours? You don't know me."
I am a social worker and have to tell you that you have more knowledge and compassion for the reality of the complex relationship between people and their stuff than many mental health professionals. You are doing so much more than cleaning. Bless you!
Agreed. Angela has such an abundance of common sense, emotional intelligence and genuinely caring attitude that I often tune in to hear her general advice at least as much as her cleaing tips.
YEAH I have never hired a professional cleaner and I am listening to this like "Angela is SO aware, sensitive but practical!" have I been missing out ALL these years?😂
You have dealt with this issue more professionally and more sensitively than anybody else that I have ever seen or watched. You deserve all the kudos for this video. Thank you.
I just found you. I’m 81 with a very full house. Very. Cluttered. Ugh. You were meant to be in my life. I’m a procrastinator , years of depression, lost my husband to covid and now have my divorced son living with me. Kids every other weekend I’m overwhelmed. I’m going to try to stick with you cause I know I need to. Thank you so very much !!!
My mom is 88 and is in a somewhat similar position. She's an artist and so she doesn't always buy things anymore but she makes them. Lol but it is harder to deal with as you get older because of your physical abilities so I hope that encouragement you find here will help you to get things more situated in your life.
I think on the show Hoarders, they say that all the clutter is "deferred decisions" We don't want to deal with it now so we put it off till later. The problem is that eventually a crisis happens and you have to deal with it all immediately which is so so hard.
As a life long “neat nik “ ( I loved, and always had, a beautifully decorated , tidy home) I can share with you that when parents die & leave you whole houses full of gorgeous, and sentimental furniture, China etc etc. , it opens the door for clutter to come in- because of the emotions, it’s hard to give away, throw away, release these precious things…. But I’m slowly doing it. My situation was made worse by the fact that they died only 18 months apart ( right before Covid) Thank you for touching on this reality.
I am so sorry for your losses. I appreciate you sharing this with us as I am sure there are others in a similar situation. Wishing you all the best as you move forward. 🙂
I'm so sorry to hear about your parents. I have such a hard time with letting go of sentimental items. My plan is to hire a TaskRabbit tasker to take photos of everything. At the funeral I will ask everyone to write down an item they may feel connected to and why. It will help me gift memories to cherish for special people. Much easier to let go as well since you know your giving it to someone that will treasure it as much as you in the same way
I think one of my biggest triggers to collect and not release is that threat on the horizon that we're about to face a worse time than the great depression... and not wanting to get rid of resources that would aid in survival.
I understand how the fear of an impending crisis can trigger a desire to hold onto resources for survival. It's important to find a balance between preparedness and living in the present. Connect with others who share similar concerns and focus on nurturing your well-being to navigate these uncertain times with strength and resilience.
Yes, I have the same view. With systems collapsing all around us, and the hardest time ever ahead, we can no longer believe those organisers who say, "get rid, you can always buy another one later". That won't be true. On the other hand, in difficult times we may need to be mobile, and our stuff ties us down. There's no easy answer for an unprecedented future situation. But I suspect more stuff will become valueless than will become valuable.
@lesliechampaign7871mmmm....I know someone who's house is literally (and I'm using that word correctly) overflowing with things and they bought a garden shed for the excess. That's now overflowing too and so is their caravan and they've just bought another shed. Their property is rapidly shrinking. I don't know how the wife will recoup after a soon to have hip replacement. It's kind of hard to watch.
@@janebrown7231 Even if all that happens, progress can still be made. Some items are more valuable than others in a survival situation. Obviously if SHTF, I doubt most people would miss a copy of 'Paul Blart Mall Cop' for example. Sell that thing and use that dollar to buy more canned food. Should at the very least get no-brainer items like that out.
I recently suffered an accident that caused me multiple injuries and a brain injury that caused depression, anxiety, fatigue, headaches, and memory loss. I became overwhelmed, and although I had a relationship for 10 years before my injury, I pushed him away, because I often feel overwhelmed because I am unable to clean my house as I normally would, and I have lost my self-confidence. My friend made periodic attempts to reconnect, but I kept him at a distance. I recently asked him to help me get to a Shred-it event (because I no longer drive since I have dizziness) so that I could discard mail and paper. I let him come in and although I was embarrassed, he instead said let me help, in no time, he tided my room for me, and he talked about the woman he remembers; this was so refreshing for me #THEREISPOWERINTRUTH #LOVEWINS
Praying for you to heal & take the time for self-care & I do know what an oxymoron that is. I’ve often thought (to myself) I thought self-love was the way I got all this crap in the first place! I mean, I bought it!! Turns out that I wasn’t taking care of self; I was trying to fill the emptiness inside!! Be kind to yourself as you slowly begin to recover your life!🙏🏻😍
I'm sorry to hear about your accident and the resulting challenges that you've faced. Pushing your partner away due to feeling overwhelmed and unable to maintain your home is a difficult choice to make. However, it's encouraging to hear that your friend recently helped you and that he has reminded you of the person you used to be. This act of kindness and the power of truth and love can bring much-needed refreshment and hope during this challenging time. Remember that you are not alone! You're friend has shown you this, don't push him away. Wishing you continued strength and healing. Sending hugs. 🤗
You’re the first person who actually addresses the emotional attachment of things. It’s not the things. It’s the person with whom the things are connected. Thank you for acknowledging that this is hard.
It's taken me three years to look at my old stuff without crying. I feel excited that this program is available. What a great help!!!!! I started cleaning already, and I could actually SEE all this mess!!!!😮 Before, I could NOT see the mess. 😳🙈🤯
I am a licensed therapist and suffer from hoarding. You have great ideas and are so compassionate. Thank you for your channel. Finally, some help with my issue that exacerbates my depression.
Thanks for sharing with us and for dropping by. You are not alone, those who care for others are immensely susceptible to clutter and hoarding. The key is to remember to take care of yourself - Your health matters too. 🙏🙏🙏
Omg, you just absolutely described my current life. My dad died with 4 generations of stuff. Some very “antique valuable items.” Long story but I’m 64 overwhelmed with stuff and direction of sorting, selling etc. But the clutter is absolutely affecting my mental health!
I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through such a overwhelming situation. Dealing with the belongings left behind by a loved one can be emotionally challenging, especially when it spans multiple generations. It's understandable that the sheer amount of items and the responsibility of sorting and selling them can feel daunting. The clutter surrounding you may be taking a toll on your mental well-being. Remember to be kind to yourself during this process and seek support from professional organizers or estate liquidators who can guide you through the sorting and selling process. Taking small steps and prioritizing your well being will help you navigate through this overwhelming journey.
@@AskAngelaBrown don’t store it. Keep only what you need or want. .. call the trucking co. Who delivered goods. See if they have charity they donate to . Have em load n deliver. Or call rental agency for houses apts. see if they want it
When my mother passed away we had the huge job of cleaning out her house. Over 50 years of accumulation. We went through everything to fish out her jewelry, cash, paperwork, and some keepsakes, threw out the trash and then hired an estate sale company. That $8500 check for our share of the proceeds was a nice little bonus.
I am dealing with this to some extent following death of husband. Everything feels so emotional, like I'm throwing him away piece by piece. Tysm for this.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a loved one is difficult to deal with and lettiong go of their belongings can take an emotional toll. You will get thru this. Sending you positive vibes, hugs and prayers. 🤗🙏
You're not throwing him away, you are re-gifting his possessions, so others can to can enjoy the happiness of his presence and continue the joy, of his life and purpose, think of it as karma. "Everything (& everyone) comes into your life for a reason, season or lifetime" If you sell an item, then ok, you receive some money, that you can put towards something you need or a treat for yourself. As he would never want you to be cold, or hungry, or not have a repair done, or not have a beautiful bouquet of flowers for your birthday xx
I’m so sorry dear. Perhaps it might help to ask yourself, “Would my husband want me to be overburdened by attachment to earthly possessions, or would he want me to be free and enjoy life?” That’s maybe a bit oversimplified but I think you get what I mean. I’m sure he would not want you to suffer over this.
I'm 70 and while my home is neat and the rooms uncluttered I see my kitchen and closets have things I haven't used in decades. As I started watching this vid I brought out a Dollar Tree basket and started going through the kitchen. The glass citrus juicer, the third pair of tongs, some glasses I never use, cookie cutters, an egg slicer, a pasty maker, some knives are all leaving but the drawers are still full. But I also lowered one of the shelves so I can reach things more easily so I will cou t this semi-successful. FYI, I make my bed every morning and although retired get up by 7 and take a walk.
So glad my phone listened to me talking about being a hoarder & suggested this video. I think this will help me a lot! Most of my mess isn't due to emotional attachment but to not wanting things to go to the landfill because someone can use it.
You can always donate the items to someone that may need them or you can try selling them. Glad that your phone suggested this video! Thanks for watching!
I'm glad you said this, because I've been suspecting the same thing because of ads that have appeared after I've mentioned something in front of my phone. It's really unsettling...😳
@@yvettescheiman4991I can mention in conversation the most random thing & then I'll get ads on TH-cam for it. Like the other day my mom, sister & I were sitting at my mom's kitchen table & I said I wanted to get Botox for my "grouchy mark". Now I'm constantly getting Botox commercials & I've never searched on my phone for anything like that. It happens all the time. Try talking about some random thing & then see what ads you get.
Angela, this is the Very Best Channel for helping people with Hoarding issues instead of making them feel ashamed. You are making a huge difference in people’s lives. One step at a time I keep telling myself; it will lead to progress. Thank you!❤
🥰I could not remember , learn, or succeed in putting the tips to use if it wasn't for Angela's kindness, sweetness, intelligence, and tough love. Many thanks Angela. .
Yes I have clutter paralysis. It got a lot worse over covid, due to increased stress and anxiety. Plus a lot of impulse shopping as a way of reducing anxiety, which has been something I’ve done for a long time but its become worse. I’m an introvert and a BIG problem for me is having everyone at home so much. I really need my alone time and my husband works from time a lot now & my children seem to have a lot of days off school and I can’t think or relax enough to deal with it when they (esp my husband) are around. I just keep trying to find an empty quiet room to escape to because I tend to get irritated really easily. I am a lot more productive when its just me at home.
@CLord-gs7nj Thanks, my children are a bit older. Its probably not so much them as us all being at home at the same time in a house that is too small. I can cope for a normal amount of time but over the last 3 years the time everyone is at home really increased.
@Jessica Manville Hi..Take a leap of faith and join a group. Loneliness is not good company. If there is nothing you can get to either start your own or look for online support group❤ EDIT: Or discuss it with the family, you may find you are in the same boat. It can help your loved ones understand and learn what to do with these situations and it's not cause you don't love them.
This is the best information I have Ever heard. Thank you, I feel you are talking me. I am 76 and alone, it is hard and depressing. You are a life savor! Thanks.
I am so grateful to find you r channel, Angela!! I am still feeling & dealing with an ugly divorce from a 30 year marriage that happened 5 years ago! My ex is a Covert Narcissist that I knew was a pathological liar, but he is so much worse. I suffer from c-ptsd, depression, anxiety, parental alienation & yes, hoarding tendencies. I raised 4 great kids, while moving every 4 years for ex’s career. Sadly, I barely have relationships with my 4 kids. I live in a 2 bedroom apartment & I ‘m alone. I how thru cycles of paralyzing depression & sleeplessness because the trauma of being forced out of my beautiful home & discarded like yesterdays garbage. I didn’t know that I was being financially abused for years. I guess the shame from staying with such an abuser whom I actually loved has really taken it’s toll. I have had therapy & I guess I need more, but can’t afford it. I feel frozen but relieved to find you & your team to watch & learn from!! Thanks so much🙏🏻🦋❣️
So sorry that you had a bad experience. I hope that the videos and all the suggestions help to get you to a place where you feel happy and better. So glad that you have found us and we glad that we are here to help you along in your journey. You got this! And remember you are not alone, we are rooting for you! Sending hugs. 🤗😊
Well done Sonia for leaving that bad relationship and very well done for raising 4 great children too. I am sad for you and being lonely is the worst. Please please start to rebuild a happy life for yourself, the life you deserve. Start by reaching out to your children. You have reached out online. It is easier to type how you feel to people you don’t know. Tell your children. The children you have raised won’t want their mother to be lonely ❤
Sonia, I am sorry for the hurtful things you have and are going through. Counselors can help, but especially zoom groups for people who are going through some of the same things. To have a place where people understand, are supportive, and non judgmental helps greatly. Think of your self as a SURVIVOR!!! My clutter is overwhelming! It really makes us feel worse.
This is just a suggestion- there are free support groups like co-dependent no more, battered women support groups. Your local newspaper may list support groups and check local library.
I too am going through similar circumstances right now and moving from my wonderful home of thirty plus years decluttering a mountain of life into a much smaller home, all while going through the trauma of what you speak about. Thank goodness we found for this channel. I like what one commenter said about support group. We definitely need understanding human connection right now. Hang in Sonia somehow we’ll make it through! We may be down but we’re not out.💕🌺
I've dealt with much fatigue. I have noticed at times it's helpful to play happy, upbeat music while I work. For me, it's Christian music. There have been many days that the fatigue just wouldn't allow me to work on cleaning even though I really wanted to. This has caused much more clutter than normal. As I walk through a room I try to pick up at least a little & put it away as I'm on the way to another part of my house. At least it's something. God bless you for the help you're giving!
Thank you for sharing your experience and for the kind words. It's great that you've found a way to motivate yourself and make cleaning more enjoyable by playing upbeat music. Taking small steps, like picking up a little bit at a time, can also be very helpful in making progress towards a cleaner and more organized home. Remember to take breaks when needed and not to push yourself too hard. Keep up the good work and God bless you too!🙏🤗😊
I was about to write these same words when I came across your post. I, too, use Christian music to call upon the Lord's strength to clean because of my fatigue. I have been fighting cutter in different areas of the home because my husband is a little bit disorganized and creates clutter. I didn't realize how bad it was until I got ill and couldn't catch up to him anymore. Our issue is more of his incomplete projects or repairs, which causes him to collect tools and supplies for these projects. Once I get him to do them, I use a similar approach to yours. Clean bits at a time until the mess is gone. I just feel that these repairs and clutter areas were issues that I could have taken care of so much faster, as in the past, if I weren't so fatigued. I've been using these videos as a guide on how to be gentle with my husband in understanding his role in the home. I'm afraid that I have enabled him for may years by taking care of things. Now, I feel I can not handle the home, and he still expects me to do it.
My sister has bit of a hoarding habit. I came to visit. When cooking I noticed she had spices in many cupboards. I asked if she wanted me to organize them. She said yes. Well, to find all the spices I got to organize all her food storage. She is particularly happy I organized her baking supplies in a convenient cupboard. This is spreading to other rooms with her doing it for herself and even her other houses- she has 4. God even sent a flood to one of her homes to prompt her.
I have amazing people in my life, but no one who would do decluttering for me. That's a whole 'nother level of being an amazing person. You need to know- that's less common these days & I'm glad you're in the world. :-)
@@SidewaysY I’ve volunteered countless times to help my sister declutter her home but she refuses. I wish you had someone like myself in your life. If I ask for any kind of help from my sister, for example for her to pick me up after getting a medical procedure, she will do it but begrudgingly. But that’s life.
Are you familiar with A Hoarder's Heart channel? She was a level 4 hoarder who is now a level 1. As she takes us along as she declutters, she talks about why she couldn't let go of even trash, of the traumas of her past and how her stuff made her feel safe, and how letting anything go actually terrified her. She explains how she's working through it all, and how she's gotten to where she is. She's continuing to work through the emotions that are now allowing her to gradually let go of more and more stuff. So enlightening as she continues her mission to humanize hoarders! And so encouraging to watch her being able to clear more and more spaces, being able to let go of greater amounts of stuff each time.
I’ve been like this for years…I use to be so organized and clean but the last several years my entire house has been a disaster…can’t find the floors and counters and sinks..Depression
Hi Margaret, so what happened or changed in your life to bring that about? Me too. Now trying to unravel the things that creapt upon me over many years, and that at least feels like the start of a willingness to want to heal instead of the feeling of not deserving and thus being a bit stuck. So, my obvious start point right now is gathering together all the recylable packaging for tomorrow's collection (and actually remembering to fill and put out the recycling bin!) AND bin all the scrapy wee bits of rubbish that accumulate so easily! At least that's a start =) Hopefully that'll clear a surface I can then wipe clean properly. Finding the energy can be tricky. I hope you and all the other lovely folk here can find a wee place to start too. 'Small changes, big difference!' Don't know who that quote belongs to but that I think is one I can manage to try =) Have a lovely day Margaret and everyone else too.
I'm sorry to hear that you've been struggling with depression and its impact on your home. It's important to remember that depression can make even the simplest tasks feel overwhelming, and it's okay to seek help and support in managing it. Starting small can be helpful - try setting aside just 10-15 minutes a day to focus on decluttering or cleaning one small area. You may also want to consider reaching to a friend or relative for help, or maybe a therapist or counselor who can help you work through your depression and develop coping strategies. Remember, it's never too late to make positive changes and take steps towards a more organized and clutter-free home. You are not alone in this!
Even though my closet needs a lot of help lol, I think the thing that helped me learn to clean, (and even if it's not perfect at least it's a lot better after cleaning), is that when I was young, we had a lady who came to our house Monday through Friday to babysit us kids while my mother was at work, and the lady also cleaned, ironed, whatever else needed to be done. So as a kid, I was able to watch her and see how she did things, and that helped me a lot to generally learn how to clean things. My mother didn't have time to teach me, so that was really helpful having this lady come in every day.
I find people who want my stuff and bring them boxes of stuff to clear things out of the house. I tell them to use it, give it away, sell it, or throw it away, but they have to take everything I give them. I feel good knowing I am helping people who are in need, which is about the only way I can detach from my stuff and let go of so much.
I have been searching and watching hoarder videos on TH-cam. This is where I am, a hoarder with clutter paralysis. I am full to overflowing with anxiety right now. I can totally relate to "Rachel". That's my house. I have qualified for help with cleaning etc for senior home and personal care. I am 65 and met for the 1st time with the ladies yesterday that are going to come each week. I let them look in the house, but we had to sit outside on the porch to talk. I am praying the scope of things will not be overwhelming for them. I am motivated to do the things, but I know it will be hard because of the emotional attachment to many of my things. My hoarding came about due to the trauma of divorce and as a result being reduced from comfortable to living below poverty line. I have PTSD, Anxiety disorder and depression. I need repairs on my home, and may qualify for helpvwith that, but at the moment no one can get in to see and make assessments. Prayers and any helpful thoughts would be greatly appreciated. I cannot continue to live this way. I have shut myself off from everyone because of the shame and embarrassment. I realize this video is part of a series. Which is the first one so I can watch them in order? Thanks.
I'm sorry to hear about the challenges you're facing as a hoarder with clutter paralysis. It's great that you've qualified for help with cleaning, and it's normal to feel anxious about the scope of the task. Remember that the professionals assisting you are experienced and there to support you. Emotional attachment to belongings can make the process difficult, but take it one step at a time and focus on the benefits of decluttering. Seek therapy or counseling to address the underlying issues and prioritize self-care. Keep exploring resources for home repairs and advocate for yourself. Remember, there's no shame in asking for help, and you're on a journey toward positive change. Stay strong, be kind to yourself, and lean on the available support. As for the other videos you can do a search on my channel by typing in clutter and several videos will pop up.
One suggestion I've heard that may help with objects you have strong emotional attachment with. Take a photo of the object. Put it in a scrap book or photo album and write about why it means what it does to you. If its because it reminds you of your favorite Aunt but you never use it, you can get rid of the object itself, but keep the visual reminder in the photo you took and read and even add to what you've written about your memories.
I really have to do something now befor it gets worse. It's been three years stuck, paralyzed. It's got ton so out of control that if I had to call an ambulance, God for bid, they wouldn't be able to bring in a streacher to help someone. Im bombarded with clothes and can't seem to let them go. It's challenging to decide what to let go of and the value of them and things I have. I worrie about not having the money to replace what I have, which is to much stuff. My house looks like a thrift store. I hate it. Where do I begin. Piles of clothes everywhere, stacks of papers, nicknacks ughh. I've ran out of storage areas in basement, my closets. I'm so glad I found a place I can talk about it.
Thank you for bringing up the landfill concern so early in your video! I rarely hear anyone mention it in decluttering videos, and it's my most paralyzing issue. I grew up on the edge of the poverty bracket, so the mindset was that we could not afford to replace something we threw away, but I also had an earth-conscious community so there was encouragement to repair or repurpose as much as possible. I want to share the epiphany I had about the landfill paralysis. I am so guilty about adding to the refuse issue that I am choosing to keep the landfill in my home. So I'm essentially punishing myself for my wastefulness, and endangering my physical and emotional health. Seems like something worth changing. I have the perfect mix of ingredients to create a hoarding situation. - My upbringing. - A lack of skill or time to actually repurpose or repair items. - Two adult children who are in college, who do not live here but still have plenty of things in their former bedrooms. - Parents facing their mortality and offloading their life's work to their offspring. - A deceased brother whose death caused years of PTSD. (I didn't inherit his stuff, but the last things he touched in my house stayed where he left them in the middle of my office floor for five years. Very inconvenient, as they were the supports he put my truck up on when he fixed my brakes!) - An autoimmune condition that strictly limits my energy level. - A husband paralyzed by stress who doesn't even notice that he creates disaster areas all over the house. - And no attic, basement or closets! I also have stashes of "someday my house will look like this" items that have been in boxes for decades waiting for my lifestyle to change. Guess what? I'm always going to choose having cats over keeping beautiful, delicate glassware. I am slowly making headway in clearing out, but I feel like Sisyphus rolling an ever-growing boulder up the mountain.
Thank you for sharing your heartfelt concerns and challenges. It takes courage to acknowledge and confront the impact of our actions on the environment and our personal well-being. The combination of factors you mentioned has undoubtedly created a complex situation, making it difficult to navigate the decluttering process. Remember that you are not alone in feeling overwhelmed. It's important to approach this journey with self-compassion and understanding. Start by setting small, achievable goals that align with your energy levels and capabilities. Focus on progress rather than perfection. Celebrate each step forward, no matter how small it may seem. Consider reaching out to supportive individuals or organizations who can offer guidance and assistance. They may provide valuable resources, tools, and emotional support to help you along the way. Remember, decluttering is a personal journey, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. Find what works best for you and prioritize your physical and emotional health. As you continue to make headway, remember that change takes time and effort. The path may feel challenging at times, but with perseverance, compassion, and a willingness to let go, you can create a space that supports your well-being and reflects the life you desire.
Actually, seeing these hoarded houses helps motivate me to get more organized and to clean and donate stuff. I personally have suffered from depression myself to the point where I was medicated for 10 years, and I’m thankful that even in the worst states of my depression, I knew that if I let my home look like a garbage down, I would be even more depressed. My late mother had some mild hoarding issues and I knew I did not want to emulate that trait in her, but I did love her eye for beauty and decided to focus on that.
I deeply appreciate your honesty and vulnerability in sharing your own experiences with depression and the impact it had on your perspective of maintaining a clean and organized home. It's truly commendable that you've found motivation in observing hoarded houses to cultivate a more organized and clutter-free environment for yourself. Recognizing the influence of your late mother's hoarding tendencies while embracing her eye for beauty is a testament to your resilience and ability to carve your own path. By focusing on the positive aspects and nurturing your surroundings, you're creating a space that reflects your personal growth and helps uplift your spirits. Your journey is an inspiration, and I wish you continued strength and joy in your pursuit of a clutter-free and beautiful home. 🤗😊
I agree. I love to watch the Hoarding shows but they make me think how much I need to do a bit of a clean up and organizing. I'm not to the level of a hoarder but I'm definitely a pack rat. The depression is tough too though making it harder to get that motivation.
I have taken many photos of sentimental belongings, before I donated them. They are now in 2 “memories” photo albums my daughter helped me create. I have 126 pictures of items. Each with a little story. I no longer feel guilty having to let go of loved one’s cherished belongings. It’s a comfort to me to know those items are being useful to someone else, while I can look at my memory photo albums. You can write a story with each photo. An example is, I have a photo of my mom’s favorite dishes. So with that photo is a special story about a Thanksgiving day we had with those dishes. IT’S A LOT EASIER to have a beautiful story album full of memories, than to have a house full of items I don’t have room for & I’ll never use. I’m so grateful my daughter came up with this idea. 🥰 I get to honor family members by putting memories in our story albums. Thank you for your excellent video. 🦋
I'm truly touched by the beautiful way you've preserved memories through photo albums with your daughter. Having 126 pictures, each with a heartfelt story, is a wonderful testament to your love and connection with your loved ones. It's liberating to let go of physical items while still holding onto the emotions they represent. Your daughter's idea is inspiring, and I'm grateful it has brought you joy and allowed you to honor your family in a special way. Thank you for sharing your experience and reminding us of the power of preserving memories. Sending you love, gratitude, and best wishes as you continue to treasure these beautiful story albums.
@tiffanyb.7596 what a beautiful story. I love what you are doing & kudos to your daughter for such an amazing idea. I'm not a hoarder, but during a very stressful time in my life I feared that I was becoming one. A year ago I moved to a very small apartment and found myself trying to hold on to so much more than I had room for. It literally and figuratively felt like I carried the weight of all of that clutter. It was exhausting but I finally decided I had to make changes to save my sanity. What inspired me more than anything was seeing other people's organized and clutter free homes. It's impossible to describe how good it felt when I finally took action and got rid of everything that I didn't feel I absolutely needed. It truly is a feeling of freedom.
To be honest with you, I didn’t want to watch this video because it seemed too long and I thought it was going to be boring. But now I apologize and want to thank you because I have learned a lot. My garage is so full of stuff and it creates anxiety every time I go in there because I want to clean and organize but due to the lack of time I never do. The only thing I like about it is that whenever someone needs something, they always come to my house to see if I have it or something similar. And guess what? They do find it, or at least something similar that will work for them. So yeah, I have that love/hate relationship with myself for letting my garage get so full of junk that now it makes me feel sick every time I go in there 🙊🤕🙈
Oh no so sorry that you feel that way about your garage. But I'm happy that you watched the video. Try the tips/suggestions, ask someone for help, remember that you are not alone and there is always someone that will be willing to help. Sending hugs. 🤗
@@AskAngelaBrown Thank you very much. That is so crazy how all this clutter affects our emotions . I already experiences it and it’s not a good feeling. But yes I will ask for help before I end up in a mad house, lol. Thank you for your videos. I appreciate you. God bless you always.
@@naomia.medina1071 I hope you find a way to deal with it. You deserve to be free of the burden. I've been watching a lady do both her own and help others and it's so much easier when there's 2 of you tackling it.
Starting in a small area is the way to go when you don't know what to do first. Even a few sq ft of floor or worktop space encourages you. When I helped my friend clear out her dad's and her own house after he died, she'd hoarded both of them and was paralysed. I suggested we go for quick kills, like getting rid of obvious trash, then set her defined tasks like doing the dishes. When I saw she was getting overwhelmed I'd suggest she do a run to the tip or charity shop. Little by little it got better, over a period of around 10 months, to the point we could access and repair her bedroom ceiling which had caved in because of an overhead leak, meaning she'd been sleeping on the sofa for at least 2 years. Finally I was able to redecorate her living room and laundry room. Shame had prevented her from asking for help. Ironically, her dad dying gave her an excuse for her house being full thus letting people in and I ran with that, as she got really good at selling, donating and binning stuff. Unfortunately she remains good at buying 'bargains', and I can't fix that...
Love how you helped your friend and your process!! Thank you for sharing this story. The bargain shopping is a whole other issue to deal with and many a hard time stopping it. But kudos to you for being an awesome friend!!😊🤗
I have add and I want like to start projects and never finish I started “wanted” to sell stuff on eBay like 7-8 years ago and every time I went to yard sales and rummage sales and found “great” things to sell well fl to now and my office and my garage has over 40 totes full of clothes to sell This year stopped myself from going to thrift stores or yard sales unless I list 10 things it may and I have 6 things listed
I am hearing my story here but don't have a fantastic friend like you. It's so overwhelming. I could really use advice on selling stuff! I have tons I can sell. But I only do fb and they have to pick it up. It's not great. Or worth it even sometimes. Advice on selling?
You're very welcome, and I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a difficult time. Grief and clutter can indeed intertwine, and it can be particularly challenging for individuals with CPTSD. It's important to remember that you're not alone in this journey. Seeking support from loved ones, therapy, or support groups can provide valuable assistance in navigating both the emotional challenges and the clutter itself. Take things one step at a time, be gentle with yourself, and know that healing is possible. Sending you strength and support. 🙏🏻
I'm sorry to hear that you've been bedridden for two years and that you're dealing with pain and grief. It can be incredibly challenging to manage those feelings while dealing with physical limitations. I'm glad that you found my site and hope that it can provide you with some comfort and support. Remember to be gentle with yourself and take things one day at a time. There is hope for finding ways to manage your pain and grief, and you deserve to feel supported and cared for.
I’ve been hiding away from the world because I had a breakdown and my house became like a hoarders. It’s been like that for 4 years. This has really helped
I'm truly sorry to hear that you've been struggling with a breakdown and your living environment has become overwhelming. It's completely understandable to want to hide away during difficult times. I'm glad to hear that the video has provided some help and support. Remember, healing takes time, and it's never too late to make positive changes. Start small, one step at a time, and be gentle with yourself throughout the process. Reach out to loved ones, friends or professionals who can offer support and guidance. You deserve to create a living space that feels comfortable and supportive to your well-being. Keep going, and know that you are not alone on this journey.
Battling some depression and illness which makes it even harder to clean looking for motivation and realistic ideas how to start and your video came up very helpful and very relatable thank you 🙏🏼
I'm sorry to hear that you're battling depression and illness, and I'm glad that you found my video helpful and relatable. It can be difficult to find motivation to clean and organize when dealing with those challenges, but taking small steps can make a big difference. Try breaking down tasks into smaller, manageable steps and rewarding yourself for each accomplishment. Remember to be gentle with yourself and take breaks when needed. You're doing a great job seeking out resources and taking steps towards improving your living space. Keep up the good work!
Thank you Angela! I have cleaned houses over 10yrs. You are so kind! Again, thank you. You are helping so many ❤ Action is the enemy of thought. Get up...that depression will lift. And you will feel amazing that your house is back. And when you walk in...you automatically relax... And its beautiful.
Thank you for your kind words! As a professional cleaner, I understand that cleaning is not just about tidying up physical spaces, but also about creating a sense of calm and peace in people's lives. It's important to approach each client with empathy and understanding, and I strive to do that in all of my work.
i am so glad i stumbled across you!! i need this!! gonna be 70 in Jan, house i grew up in, deceased parents stuff, my stuff, bros stuff, ex's stuff, ex bf's stuff, current hubs stuff, #1 sons stuff AND #2 has moved back!!! happily he is trying to help, but we are ALL getting paralyzed!! I WILL BE BACK!!
I got into clutter trouble because of selling used items on-line. But when my brother died I got paralyzed and stopped working my business. Also I brought too much of my brothers things home. One thing that helped me in letting go of things I wanted to make money from: "whatever you give away will come back to you finacially one day." It is like the idea of kindnesses we give away that will find their way back to us. So I could haul it away without emotion. Also I started down sizing inside closets and cabinets first, so I could put away the limited things that are important. I always pray that God will help me let go. It really helps. I also limit the number of hours I work on clutter. I work for 4 hours Mon-Thurs. Friday thru Sunday I reward myself by doing what I want to do. (I find on those days, that I look forward to finishing a sewing project or art project. Before that I felt I did not deserve to do things I enjoy. This left me burnt out and overwhelmed on dealing with clutter. It is so important to reward yourself. You are not a slave. It is so important that one understand that it takes time, so you don't overdo. And know there are things to look foreward to. I try to keep the rooms clean, that people see when they come in the house. But admit I am still working on my living room. And have a room full of boxes. But I just
I love your word/reward system. I'm especially thrilled the rewards are linked to hobbies rather than food or drinks that add calories or dull the senses. You are one smart cookie. 👏 Thanks for sharing this.
You caught my attention when you mentioned Rachel paralyzed by her sisters death. My sister died a year ago and had become a hoarder, but it was mom’s death 3 years ago that has paralyzed me. We lived together the four years before she passed, and were best friends. I was executor of her estate and realized I wasn’t dealing with it because I didn’t want to acknowledge that she was really gone(she’d been in a nursing care facility for 10 months after a stroke) Thank you for helping me realize that I’m not processing and divesting all her clothes and things because I’m still trying to keep her here and alive. Somehow I think mom had God put this video in my TH-cam to help me deal and heal.
I love that you are exploring this topic. And Angela you are so compassionate! I love what you’re saying about strengthening the “decluttering muscles“ -it’s always hardest getting started. Thanks for your inspiring messages. I have a room with all the extra stuff I don’t wanna deal with, myself. i’m gonna take a fresh look at it now.
Getting out of the rut and overcoming inirtia is more than half the battle. I started working out after I retired,and truly, just getting to the car and driving to the gym was the toughest part. It also helped that the mental, emotional results were spectacular. I always felt better coming out than when I drove there,and after about a year of consistently going every other day,I was literally high on endorphins for 48 hours,and couldn't wait to hit the gym again..and I was healthier. Covid really screwed the routine up,but I remember how good it was. Trying to make it back to the mountain top again.
Sorry that you had to deal with this. And remember that you are not alone in anything. Sending hugs and wishing you the best in your journey. You got this! 🤗🤗
I know exactly what this is. I have it. Because of trauma I had done to me in the house I can't bring myself to remove the stuff. It's literally driving me into one room. Ty I appreciate this.
I'm so sorry to hear about the trauma you experienced in your home and how it's affecting your ability to declutter. It's understandable that it can be difficult to let go of items that are associated with painful memories. Please know that you're not alone in feeling this way and that there is hope for healing and moving forward. It may be helpful to seek support from a therapist or counselor who can help you process your emotions and develop coping strategies. Remember to be kind to yourself and take things one step at a time. You've got this. ❤
I sooo appreciate your sensitivity regarding clutter. My clutter represents work that I used to be able to perform before my back and legs were injured. I “feel” like if I let these items go I am loosing more of my physical abilities, like I have to prove to myself that I can still do it. You are so sensitive Angela, I’ve fallen in love with you already 😃
It's hard to move past our long term careers and respect thar we had. I became disabled from my Nursing job and it was very difficult to come to peace with the change. I hope you find your peace soon ❤
I understand too well. When we are struck with disability and chronic illness beyond our control we mourn the loss of who we were. Getting rid of stuff to me represents losing hope that I will ever recover enough to do those things I had dreamed of doing. I was in my 40s and a mother of 6 children when I was left paralyzed from a flu vaccine and now deal with extreme Chronic fatigue, brain fog and a whole gammet of neurological issues. I feel like if I get rid of my things, I am getting rid hope and a part of me. ( I know it sounds ridiculous. around Those around me pressure me to get rid of all of my work clothes, my craft room supplies, entertaining dishes, career reference books, etc.) I struggle to have the strength and energy to deal with it, as doing simple tasks drain my energy and taking on the emotional and physical challenge of getting rid of my stuff is daunting and possibly impossible for me physically. I have a goal of just taking 15 minutes a day going through stuff. If it takes years, so be it. Angela is the best! Her cheerleading keeps me going.
I help with my bedbound family member unexpectedly the past couple of years & have a lot of other, frustrating & discouraging things going on in life that keep me from cleaning & organizing. Just thinking about starting on it all gives me intense anxiety each time all of a sudden, so I immediately stop what I'm attempting & go waste time somewhere else...& it all snowballs, which causes even more of those overwhelming feelings... then it perpetuates. Paralyzed is exactly what happens. A lot of my 'clutter' is tons of stuff that I bought to make money with, but I feel I can't even start with that until my areas are organized & thoroughly cleaned. Nice to see when other people "get" it!.
I'm sorry to hear about the challenges you've been facing and the anxiety that comes with trying to start the process of cleaning and organizing. Starting with one small task at a time can help build momentum and confidence. Remember to be kind to yourself and reach out for help when needed. You're not alone in this, and I'm here to support you.
My grandmother had many items marked with white tape with name who she wanted things to go to. We all knew this for years and sometimes made light humor if we looked or picked up something. Unfortunately on the day she passed, a mean spirited daughter-in-law 60 year old went to the house and removed most of the tape tags. Few were missed and given to the grand child or person who's name was still visible. This forced her three son's to go into the home and starting at the oldest choosing an item and keep taking turns. My father only wanted a dining set he admired and had fond memories. Mean spirited aunts husband choose buffet, so next brother choose china cabinet and my father took dining table. Seconds later brother two told my father he could have cabinet as only picked to give it to him. Oldest brother sold the buffet to my father. None of this had to happen if (now ex aunt) had just followed my grandmothers thoughtful gifts she wanted her son's and extended family to have a memory of her. I have a wicker plant box and my brother has a small step stool made by our grandfather who every grandchild sat on which we both adore.
I love that your grandmaother had things marked, but what a big shame that your aunt did that. What a terrible thing to do. Did you even find out why she did that? And shame on the brothers for selling the buffet to your father. Makes me sad when people do things like this. Thank you for watching the video and for sharing your story.
A similar thing happened in my family. The cousins who lived close went right away and took what they wanted. Those of us who travelled from far away arrived to find out what we knew had our name on it was gone. I got a few things but now as much as grandma wanted me to have.
Stuff like this (plus other worse and dysfunctional things) is very similar to things I've experienced in my own family as well as in families close to me is why I vehemently and adamantly say that *families suck.*
Wow, thank you for this helpful advice. For me it is right on time……..I am moving after my husband died. We were, I am so materially attached to stuff, always was, a war baby. I am 80 and have lived in this house for 60 years. Can you imagine what I am dealing with? You have helped me. I am trying my best. I will get a friend in to encourage me.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Letting go of things that we have an emotional attachment to can be difficult, but we can do it. I'm so glad that the video has been helpful and that you are asking a friend for help and encouragement. Remember that you are not alone in this process. Asking for help like you are doing is perfectly ok. Taking small steps and doing a bit at a time or each day is also ok. You can do it! Sending you virtual hugs. 🤗
OMG! When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. I'm 70 and have been paralyzed since the pandemic. I didn't know professional people acknowledged the condition. I want SO BADLY for my home to be nice, but I just don't know where to begin. I used to go to Clutterers Anonymous but that was long ago in a ginormous city. I just now did a perfunctory dive and checked the meeting finder on the website but looks like the closest group is in another state. I'm in Santa Fe, NM. It's SO DUSTY here and the dirt on top of the clutter has me pretty much on my knees at this point. Im going to binge on these videos tomorrow and hopefully more guidance will come. I'm so ashamed and so tired of living in this visual manifestation of my depressed and anxious and ADD and PTSD being. All guidance greatly appreciated. I haven't been on Facebook for years. Hmm, maybe just for your group. That's all I got for now. THANK YOU SO MUCH! YAY, a baby step! 🙏🏻💙
Hello and thank you for joining me here. Yes, baby steps are awesome. The dust on top of the clutter has me concerned because of the respiratory challenges that can create. And I WANT you to be able to breathe properly. You are not alone in feeling stuck - it is happening to us all - and even with the advent of online shopping, stuff is coming from every direction these days. Yes, please come join our Facebook group. We are a virtual group that can support you in your journey. I'm sending you a big virtual hug. 🤗🤗🤗 facebook.com/groups/hoardingworld
I totally relate. I am resolved to clear out a storage room full of stuff belonging to my children, grandmother, and aunt. I stalled out when I brought home the dreaded box of buffet plates. It realized if I donated them as planned, I was admitting I will never be the hostesses they were because my apartment reeks of dogs. If I saved them, there was hope of inviting company in, yet they were still in my trunck, waiting to be cleaned. Last week my car was stolen and I no longer have to decide.
Oh wow....sorry to hear that your car got stolen, hope you get it back without the plates. 😉 We all go thru the what if or maybe one day I'll use it or need it. Just be honest with yourself in the future if you ever have another similar situation. Thanks for sharing your story with us.
Bath your dogs weekly or biweekly and buy crib sheets to put over their beds. Wash the sheets weekly. Don't spray any cover up nasty fragrances or plugins. Just open the windows once a day too for fresh air. 🐾🙏
@pinschrunner Not to be that person but this can be harmful. Using and washing sheets is a great idea as well as keeping up on any shedding on the floor or furniture. Also, keeping their teeth in good shape. To OP: Check with your vet or doggroomer to see how often your dogs should be bathed. Weekly or biweekly baths can cause problems.
For quite a while I would go thru whole house every two years pretending we were going to move. This usually matches more or less with major changes in kid growth , or about to take on a new project. This kept stuff thinned out. However there is always things can't decide ,hesitant to let yo. I would put these things in ahoxes, label and date the boxes and stick on shelf in basement. A year later whatever was still in the boxes was donated. So a shelf was 'wasted' with items I couldn't decide about. However it was only a few boxes and it kept mountains from growing to be dealt with 20 years later.
That's a great method you have. Glad that you donated what you didn't use after a year. It seems like you have it under control, good for you! Thanks for sharing this with us and also for watching the video, I appreciate it!
@askangelabrown This is GENIUS!!! I'm in the worst clutter paralysis of my life. Lost my oldest brother to covid 11/23/21 and still struggling with it. Inherited his land, home & all of his stuff, he'd been buying, buying & buying for the past 7 years, we had no idea. It's been so overwhelming, I have no help, I'm also in the first stages of the caretaker role of my 84 year old mom, who obviously is devastated losing a child. I have no help & am so embarrassed to have anyone even see the mess. Oh AND we're moving to the state he was in cuz the land & home are fully paid off ! I never married or had kids, it was always just me, every day I wake up and it feels like "good morning Lisa, time to climb Mount Everest again today." Not even joking, that's how I feel, I have no help. Would love to just disappear into the night..........
I'm sorry to hear about your loss and the overwhelming situation you're in. It's understandable to feel paralyzed in such a difficult situation. You don't have to go through this alone. Consider reaching out to family, friends, or a professional organizer for help. It's okay to ask for assistance and support during this difficult time. Remember to take things one step at a time and prioritize self-care as well.
Dear Liza, thank you for Everest. I’m the same shoes. Little bit different situation. I’m foreigner here . Late mom. Lost husband couple years ago. No relatives , no friends . Take care of myself and daughter alone . So when I read about Everest - it’s exactly my feelings every morning. You are not alone in this world so please be strong ,woman !
It's a fall Sunday and I just found you. My life is a soap opera, therapist's example of every emotional bullet fired at one person. I'm soon to be 76. Boomer. I was abused by my dad in every way a man can abuse a daughter. I have to grown daughters. My third husband knowingly infected me with HIV.(1987). I retired in 2013 after a 38 yr career. I was diagnosed with PTSD in 2019. The depression and anxiety came earlier. I'm experience so much pain.. But I still work part time. I'm just happy to know I'm not alone, a freak or mentally ill. Thanks, Grandma Skeeter
I'm so glad you reached out and shared your story, Grandma Skeeter. You are not alone, and there's a supportive community out here ready to listen and offer encouragement. You've got this!
Husband passed recently but don’t need to move at this time. Decided to go to a neighbor’s real estate open house. Wanted to see how the house looked being ready for sale. Came away with good insights which I hope to apply.
I started watching you today. I first watched The tidy woman. The People's comments were so cold. This compassionionate overview of this underlying pain of gathering is so comforting. I'm very overwhelmed, first a permanent disability then a death in Family, followed by dealing with 2 adult children's addictions one entering the federal prison system. In the mix of all this I'm living in a home with 5 People's belongs 2 deceased, 1 going to prison, Grandaughter moved on but has let much of her things here in storage. I definitely never looked at this as paralysis. Makes sense. So much tragedy. Yes shame from the mess. I used to be immaculate & full of energy. This accident took my physical agility. Got to do this
Oh , so true about seniors....When my mom broke her leg in 2012 her roommate was 95 . Apparently, the roommate and her elderly sister lived in a house that caught fire and there was so much furniture that it was hard for them to get out of the house . she was mostly just there for observation (I think the sister was in worse shape ) ....after my mom died I gave away all her walkers -surprising how much room those take up
Oh wow, sorry that happened. Having too much clutter can definitely be a safety hazard. Thank you for sharing your comment and for watching the video, I appreciate it.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. This presented issues in a clear and empathetic manner that for the first tim i didn't feel useless, or evil. I was able tonight to make significant inroads in what ii was doing insteaad of churning in place. Tears flowed.
I'm just doing a cleaning project every day that I'm putting off. I worked out if I did it every day I would have 14 tasks done in 2 weeks without really thinking about it. I started cleaning 1 thing in each area. I've done my shower, range hood, decluttered paperwork, decluttered lounge room, change sheets and vacuum mattress. Next will be garden, patio, laundry and study. I will also clean dishwashing and washing machines at the same time. Just 1 task each day or 2. The more you do the more you want to do and keep it tidy and clean.
I am trying to remind myself what is most vital to keep, if our house was on fire/hurricane/tornado/flood, etc., keep ONLY what I need to survive. Most of our “stuff” can be replaced!
Thank you for the non-cliche approach to getting down to getting rid of clutter. I don't find joy in practical things that you do have and need. I find joy in things I really don't need to keep. I will never be a minimalist, so, if you are, stop guilting me for wanting a well stocked craft room, etc. I just need to be able to function in my home.
You are not alone when it comes to this. And I'm not trying to make any one feel guilty. I've held on to things that I didn't really need either. So I understand.
I'm with you! One other person that has helped me is Dana K. White. Her videos on TH-cam channel "A Slob Comes Clean have walked me through some of the thinking for creative people like me, how to declutter from that mindset, and with humor.
An introduction: My name is Lynn Millard, I am a professional organizer for 23 years in South Florida. I love that you are facilitating these conversations, it is the most important element to making change!
Thank you for the inspiration to move on decluttering. I recently moved and my stuff is still in totes in my RV living room and dining area and it’s overwhelming to me at 74 and with a heart condition. I’m so hoping I can unpack this stuff, go through it and get rid of the items I don’t really need. I don’t even know what is in all these totes! Again I thank you for being out there to inspire us ❤
You're very welcome! I'm so glad that I could be a source of inspiration for you. I understand that decluttering can be overwhelming, especially when you're dealing with health challenges. Take it one step at a time and don't push yourself too hard. It's important to prioritize your health and well-being first. Start with one tote at a time and ask yourself if each item brings value and joy to your life. Remember that letting go of things can also bring a sense of freedom and peace. I wish you all the best on your decluttering journey! ❤
@dorothy allen - I can relate to your story! Some things that have helped me are: 1) GOING VERTICAL WITH STORAGE for unsorted bins and boxes so I have room to move and use my space. I actually have a ceiling-height metal shelving unit in my bedroom right now that's full of boxes from when I downsized my storage unit! Not exactly serene for the bedroom, but I'd rather prioritize keeping the area I spend the most time in peaceful and functionaI (my living room). And I don't have to see the boxes when I'm asleep! ; - D 2) THE ONION METHOD. Taking a first pass just to get rid of items that are EASIEST to let go of (things I obviously don't need or like, trash, recycling, expired items...), then consolidating the remaining stuff in fewer boxes to create more room. 3) TAKING PHOTOS of gifts and sentimental items I don't use so I can keep the memory while letting go of the actual object so it can help someone else. (It really is the thought that counts! : - ) 5) Picking an activity I enjoy and do regularly (e.g. watching TV or reading a good book), and making myself sort for just FIVE MINUTES WITH A TIMER beforehand. Sometimes just starting makes things feel less overwhelming, and rewards are sweeter when I feel I've done something to earn them! : - ) 4) Reminding myself that clutter has a tendency to taunt with silent to-dos and guilt-trips, and I don't need that kind of negative energy in my own home! - Clothes that were never quite right, or are a size last wearable decades ago ; - ) - Gifts kept out of obligation that don't actually make me feel good - Unfinished hobby projects I'm not excited to complete - Toiletries, cleaning supplies, food items, kitchen gadgets (etc.) I ended up not liking or using (We can't predict the future, and having some things not work out is just the normal cost of trying new things.) - Expensive items that didn't work out or are no longer used (Keeping the item doesn't bring the money back, and selling or donating it to someone who can use it gives you mental and physical space you can use for other things.) 6) Using a note or picture in my sightline while decluttering to REMIND MYSELF OF MY WHY. It could be something like having a friend or family member over, being able to do an activity I don't currently have room for, or my current favorite: ❤❤❤Because my peace of mind is more valuable than stuff, and I deserve to live in a home that makes me feel good!❤❤❤ I'm wishing you good luck, and much happiness in your new home! : - ) Godspeed! ❤
I had just taken a sip of coffee when we got to your "theoretical closet." I nearly sprayed the mouthful of coffee all over my desk laughing! I realize "it is what it is" to make a point and probably wasn't meant to be funny, but what a simpler world this would be if that, and only that, was our wardrobe! I am very much enjoying the video, by the way. Thank you!
Hahaha....so glad to know that you enjoyed the video and that you got a good laugh out of it! Thank you for watching and for your feedback, I appreciate it!
Reading the comments section proves you are helping so many people. Thank you for helping me see my paralysis with a helpful explanation and no shame. I’m restoring my house and don’t have the money to finish. A little at a time an we really can do it people. You really can. Don’t give up, just baby steps. Good luck!
Only recently I have made the connection between the emotions I have experienced over the last 3-4 years and the increase of clutter in my 900 sq ft condo. It was never like this in all the 16 years I’ve lived here. I have spurts of clarity and focus and am able to donate or throw away the things I’m hanging on to and notice the days I am able to accomplish that, are days I feel emotionally good.
Recognizing the correlation between your emotions and the increase in clutter in your condo is an important insight. On the days you feel emotionally good, you're able to declutter and let go of things more easily. This suggests that decluttering has a positive impact on your overall well-being. Use these moments of clarity and focus to create a decluttering routine, dedicating specific times to tackle the clutter. Additionally, consider addressing the underlying emotions that contribute to the clutter and explore ways to manage them. By addressing both the emotional and physical aspects, you can create a more harmonious living environment that supports your well-being. Sending you positive thoughts, hugs and prayers. You got this! 😊🤗🙏
Years ago, a friend wanted me to attend a parenting seminar so she didn't have to go alone. Some of the best advice I ever received was when the presenter brought up confusing communication between parents & small children. As an example he used teaching how to tidy his/her rooom. #1: clean the child's room WITH them & talk about the advantages of having a tidy space & disadvantages of cluttered space #2: take a picture #3: when the child cleans his/her room get the picture out and compare it with the state of the room 4. Each season (spring, summer, fall, winter) go through the room with the child again. Donate, store, or trash items that no longer have a place
I was just watching you on TH-cam, awhile after your live video. I enjoyed it so much, that I got up after and cleaned my spare room, which I call my junk room. It looked more like a hoarders room. Thank you so much, you gave me the motivation/ the push I really needed. And after many years of procrastination, it didn't even take that long and goodwill will be getting a car load ❤❤❤
I really needed to hear this. My elderly parent is not doing so well, my other parent has been gone..it is only a matter of time before we have to break down our childhood home. The house has been lived in for almost 60 years. I need to get my head in the right frame of mind to not relocate their house to my way too small home. I watch hoarding shows and so often the bottom line is, this was my childhood home and I trashed it I created this because of grief. I don't want to trash my home. My sister will help but we are already butting heads because her husband is already trying to grab everything.
During this difficult time, it's important to approach the situation practically and consider what is realistic in terms of space and storage. Communicating openly with your sister and her husband about your concerns and coming up with a plan that works for everyone involved can also be helpful.
Let them have the stuff but you should request that you want 1 or 2 special things to you. You’ll have what matters & peace of mind…because you didnt own the stuff before anyway, right? I know it’s easier to say than to do.
Your post was rich with wisdom and guidance, giving real hope. What makes me love you like a sister is that through this entire hour, there was not the slightest tinge of judgement. For some of us that nonjudgmental instruction is so precious and rare. Thank you and God bless you.❤️
Being a 66yr old Nana raising 3 teen grandkids for the last 14yrs. My home is crumbling around me❗️ Coming from a Sr property manager and very organized I am so ashamed and with some physical and mental health issues❗️So it just builds up❗️Thank you Angela 🌺
I'm glad I came across this video and will be sharing it. I Live in a small apartment about 650 Sq feet and there is a patio, I live alone with my 2 small dog's. I have collected and it's bothering me now, like I can get around in my place but I'm not liking what I see.
I'm glad you found the video helpful and I want to thank you ahead of time for willing to share it. Living in a small apartment with clutter can be bothersome, but there are ways to address it. Start by tackling one area at a time and declutter ruthlessly, keeping only what you truly need or love. Maximize storage with space-saving solutions and create designated spaces for different items. Embrace a minimalist mindset and establish a regular cleaning routine to prevent clutter from building up. Remember, it's an ongoing process, so be patient and enjoy the satisfaction of creating a more organized and enjoyable living space for you and your dogs. You got this!
My note to a woman that felt shame due to cluttered home. So sorry that you're in this situation. I got there because of loneliness. Do you go to church? Perhaps someone there could help ? Or, would be willing to trade hours with you. I posted an ad in a local grocery store trading hours. I made it a point to do my hours first, so I could get to know the person a bit first. I gave 4 hours 3 times before asking a person to come to my home. It worked out so well, and I didn't feel judged. It also made me feel less lonely.
Thank you for your understanding and advice. I appreciate your suggestion of finding someone to trade hours with or seek help from. Your experience with trading hours and forming a connection before asking for assistance is inspiring. Your story reminds me that there's support available in difficult times, and I'm grateful for your kindness. Wishing you all the best on your journey, and may you continue to find comfort and companionship.
Your explanation of the psychological connections is “spot on”. I watched the effects of Covid protocols and how the isolation changed how people dress, eat, clean and maintain materials at home. Children were out of school and had online learning set up at home and created more clutter. Many of us are the generation that is dealing with parent’s possessions and have to deal with the emotional connections. Your video is so healing and filled with positive steps to help us reach our goals. Thank you for your compassion ❤
I'm glad that I could be of help to you. It's important to remember that you're not alone, and there are many people who struggle with similar challenges. Sending hugs. 🤗
This is cool I was a professional house cleaner for 12 years and now I am the person suffering from clutter paralysis and now today I’ve happened onto your video here! And I am like “ oh my gosh do I need to listen to this lady”!! Lol thank you for posting this video!
Thank you for your comment! It's great to hear that you found the video helpful and relatable. Clutter paralysis can be challenging, but with the right guidance and tips, you can overcome it. Remember to take it one step at a time, decluttering and organizing in small increments. And don't hesitate to seek support from loved ones, friends or from resources like this video or other professionals in the field. Best of luck on your decluttering journey!
THANK YOU so much for this video. I have been having trouble letting go of my late fiancee's things....It absolutely triggers my PTSD. I am going to begin now. Thank you again.
You're welcome! Letting go of sentimental items tied to the loss of a loved one can be incredibly challenging, especially when it triggers PTSD. Take things at your own pace and surround yourself with supportive people who understand your journey. Remember that releasing physical items doesn't diminish the memories or love you shared. It's about finding a balance to honor your late fiancee's memory while creating space for healing and moving forward. You're taking a brave step, and I believe in your strength. If you need someone to talk to or seek guidance from, don't hesitate to reach out. You're not alone. Take care and best of luck as you move forward. Sending you positive vibes, strength, prayers and hugs. 🙏🤗
🤗We have a private group facebook.com/groups/hoardingworld where we are working through some of these clutter issues daily. Everyone at varying levels of clutter and disorganization is welcome. Come over and pick up some tips, make some friends, and let us work through this together. You are not alone in this crazy adventure. NOTE: The clutter shows from this channel have been moved over to youtube.com/@hoardingworld - come join us there where we can focus on finding a balance with our stuff.
Is there an alternative to Facebook alternative? Angela , I am totally on board with you. I am a natural cleaner. I enjoy cleaning but lack a system. Where can I learn from you. I also want to gain business sense! Please inform me. Eager and so so ready!!
Hi Angela. This is my favorite hobby. You are great. I've been at organizing for 40 years for myself and others. I believe it starts with a mindset "who am I at this stage? And do these things help or hinder me?" Thank you for what you do!
I met a new neighbor who had the same color scheme and theme as my deceased mother. I happily gave her all but one or two items-- and permission to do what she wanted with anything she didn't want anymore. I had enough memorabilia; I didn't need all of it.
It's great that you found a new neighbor who shares your late mother's color scheme and theme. And nice of you to give her most of the memorabilia. Sharing these belongings allows others to appreciate and cherish them while honoring your mother's memory. Your generosity and ability to create new connections are truly admirable. Wishing you ongoing healing and the comfort of knowing your mother's legacy lives on.
My 'reward' for once again decluttering and deep cleaning a small but hellish kitchen of a social housing flat (the rest of the flat is still an absolute shambles that I don't have the energy or capacity to even look at to the point I'm still sat on my one little swivel chair in the kitchen and these seemingly basic tasks well it took me all day and I'm still not quite finished and I'm in a lot of pain with my chronic illnesses) is watching another motivational video from this Queen of Clean! I so wish I wasn't still stuck in this situation but I'm proud of my determination and I'm glad I am not the only one who struggles! I do still have the hope that one day I will be the type of woman who always lives in pristine tidiness, cleanliness and godliness but until then I am continuing to try my best to survive!
Keep pushing forward, and know that you're not alone in your journey towards a cleaner and more comfortable living space. You're doing your best, and that's something to be proud of!
I’ve only watched the first five minutes so far but I want to say a couple things … I’m SO VERY thankful that I found this channel and How it happened for me is things sat around that I did not know what to do with than daily living needed that space so one by one things got stacked on top of other things and they progressively became more dirty than just clutter and before I knew it my home was out of control.
I'm grateful that you found my channel and that it resonates with your own experiences. It's not uncommon for clutter to accumulate over time, especially when we're unsure of how to deal with certain items. The gradual stacking and accumulation can lead to not only clutter but also a sense of being overwhelmed and losing control of our living spaces. Recognizing the situation is an important first step towards regaining control. By acknowledging the clutter and the impact it has on your home, you're already on the path to making positive changes. Remember, it's never too late to start decluttering and organizing. Take it one step at a time, focusing on small areas or categories, and gradually work towards reclaiming your space. I'm here to support you throughout your journey, and I'm glad that my channel can provide guidance and motivation. Remember, you have the power to create a space that feels clean, organized, and peaceful. Keep going, and don't hesitate to reach out if you need any specific tips or advice along the way.
Angela, your videos have helped me so much !!. I am a cancer survivor 3 times. I started to watch your videos when I was really in a frozen state .. I was going through radiation . To take care of myself was all I could do because of brain fog and severe fatigue. I will cry alone or look hopeless at piles of laundry. Doing simple dishes was overwhelming..I remembered watching a video where you said to take care of yourself first !. It is a simple statement, but You made me feel understood and that it was okay to take care of my health first and not feel bad that just the simple task were very hard to do. I couldn't even think of making decisions when I had to decide on keeping something or throwing it away . I took care of trash and personal care and my bed to rest after therapies. To the world, I learned to mask my frustrations very well. No one comes to my home because I am still dealing with piles of medical records I have to sort out to make claims. However, I am working on this cleaning process slowly , but sure because now I have to work hard to pay those bills and to keep my apartment. I just want to say that anyone out there with a medical condition that is chronic and drains your energy please, Take care of yourself first!! You are so valuable, and you truly matter. I got better, I am beating cancer, and I have learned that enjoying life is the most valuable and precious experience. please, try to find out when you have the best energy during the day or night and do little at the time. I can't think at 6 pm after work so I give permission to relax and go to bed earlier. I wake up fresh at 5 30 am and do stuff at that time until 8 am. that I start to work. Find your energy cycle .Now, I am feeling much stronger, and with a clear mind, I am a better declutter . You matter, and clutter does not define you as a human. It is the time you spend with love one's and enjoying with others and your passion that's makes who you are !! Angela,I can't thank you enough!! You have been my best therapist 😊❤!! Sending ❤ and greetings from Fort Lauderdale, FL😊
I was clearing my kitchen counter Again this morning when your video came up on my phone. Thank you. I have called to have another Diabetes pick up and was able to get more accomplished than I have for a long time. Clothes books, and kitchen items too.
That's wonderful to hear! I'm so glad that my video was able to provide some motivation and inspiration for you. Donating items to a Diabetes pick up is a great way to declutter and help a good cause at the same time. Keep up the great work!
Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm truly glad to hear that just by listening to me, you were able to let go of so many things, without feeling guilt. This is awesome...keep it up!
I finally had a yard sale. I liked the little bit of money better than the stuff. What didn't sell was boxed and bagged, left on the porch to be picked up by the local thrift store. I didn't bring it back into the house and we took a tax write off for it. People were looking for things they needed and either didn't want to pay full price for or couldn't afford to pay full price for. The things I have stacked up in my house unused, are things other people may need and I was happy with my less cluttered space. It was encouraging to me to see less clutter. This video is a reminder that I need to do that again. We have a local 'free for all' page and I've been putting things on there. I leave things on the porch and the person that asked for it comes and gets it.
You are so incredibly empowering, compassionate and encouraging. I wish I had the words to tell you how thankful I am for your videos, and this one in particular. The pain and the paralysis and the constant soul-sucking struggle is so very real. Not only do I struggle with these things myself, but also have the added responsibility (i.e. panic, anxiety, constant worry and stress) of trying to teach my own children how to do all of the things I never learned how to do. I am completely resolved and committed to breaking the generational cycles of trauma that have contributed to these issues, but having this kind of non-judgmental, compassionate, gentle “how-to” guide is exactly what I have so desperately needed. Obviously I am not the only one who is in need of this guidance and encouragement; so THANK YOU for sharing your calling with the world and with all of us. From the bottom of my heart and from my family, kids, and (hopefully) future kids and grandkids- THANK YOU 🙏🏼 🫶
Thank you for your kind words, and I'm glad that my videos have been helpful for you. It takes a lot of courage to confront and break the cycles of trauma and struggle that can be passed down through generations, and I commend you for your commitment to doing so. Remember that it's a journey, and progress comes in small steps. Be kind to yourself and your children throughout the process, and don't hesitate to reach out for help when needed. I'm here to support you, and I wish you and your family all the best.
My sister passed unexpectedly (tragically at 40 years old) in December 2022 and I have all of her stuff. At first it was comforting now it feels overwhelming because to donate or even throw away a grocery list in her handwriting (and there are A LOT of these) feels like a betrayal or an abandonment of her. I am a sentimental keeper of stuff to begin with, as well as a lover of vintage so I already had lots of stuff that I “ have plans for”. Also stored in my home is another sister’s stuff from when she lived with us pre-pandemic because she is not in stable housing. I have 3 kids and a husband that don’t seems affected by clutter but it drives me crazy, however I recognize that I am the one being in and/or keeping the stuff that the clutter is made of. To top off I have adhd and trauma issues that make processing items feel emotionally insurmountable as well as logistically difficult. Thank you for making these video and shining a light on this, I guess I didn’t consider others might be dealing with this too ❤
I know different things help different people. My fiancé and little brother both passed away unexpectedly. What I started to do was take pictures of things. I can still see their handwriting, etc but I don’t have all the extra stuff around. But I also didn’t rush myself…. hope this helps. So sorry for your loss.
It is, thank you for sharing it! Making decisions after a loss and dealing with emotions can sometimes lead to making a bad/wrong choice. Hope you are sell, sending hugs. 🤗
This is SO VERY GOOD!!!! About seven years ago I met someone who was taking care of my dying sister-in-law, and we connected on the reseller level. We became good friends, Next thing I knew we were thrifting often and bringing home large quantities of things to resell. It was/is more than I can sell before I die (I'm 72) unless I come up with a good plan to sell it in bulk!! I'm not ready to call the "got junk" people but sure need help!!
Thank you for your enthusiastic feedback! It's amazing how a connection with someone caring for your sister-in-law led to a shared love for reselling. With the large quantity of items you've accumulated, finding a plan to sell them all may seem overwhelming. Consider reaching out to reseller communities or online platforms specializing in bulk sales to connect with interested buyers. Local flea markets, consignment shops, or antique dealers might also be interested in purchasing your inventory in bulk. Hosting a yard sale or online auction can attract buyers seeking a variety of items. Don't hesitate to seek assistance from friends, family, or local reselling communities, or even a church group for guidance and support. Best of luck with your reselling journey, and never stop pursuing your passions!
I can sympathise with folk in that " paralysed" state ! I've had a lifetime of hoping for the best , but getting the worst ! 😢. Huge amounts of heavy manual work, too many moves, no help ref' home & garden maintenance : result : chronic stress, ( recognised by 4 separate medics), cancer, and crippling arthritis , plus waning strength due to age ! Everything takes SO LONG to do , is exhausting, so that tackling muddle keeps getting put on hold...😢..Hate it ! 😠. A kind of relief to see others are in a similar state... Not " hoarding " , as we see on t.v. programmes, where the sufferer climbs over piles of stuff ! Just loads of papers , presents, journals, books, clothes ( make do and mend), tools, craft / art projects...everything has a story....trying hard, and AM making tiny bits of progress .. but it's all SO SLOW ! 😢 Age and disability make it 10 times harder....😢 With no help , you " lose heart "...😢 . Good luck to all who feel like this ! xx🦉😊. 🇬🇧😢🦉🤔🌹😊🥀🇬🇧
I am a 60 year old male and I'm on the verge of tears listening to this. Stuff is literally ruining my life on so many levels. It causes so much stress, but how do I deal with stress? I shop, of course! I buy MORE stuff that I don't need. I'm writing this while sitting in a room that is jam packed with stuff. One of my biggest fears is experiencing some sort of emergency where someone would need to come into my house. I would die a thousand deaths if my friends ever saw what my house looks like on a day-to-day basis. It literally takes me days to pick up my house just to have company for a few hours every now and then, which is rare. Then it goes right back to the way it was. My house is stifling my ability to have relationships and to enjoy life. It's not only cluttered, but it's dirty because it's too hard to clean around clutter. I've been like this my entire life and I don't know why. I would love to have an opportunity to meet others who are very motivated to overcome this problem and work on it together. Therefore, I'm heading to your Facebook page now! I'm so glad I found this video!!!
I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling with clutter, and I'm glad that you found the video helpful. It sounds like clutter is causing a lot of stress and anxiety in your life, and I understand how overwhelming it can feel. It's great that you're reaching out and looking for support. Connecting with others who are motivated to overcome clutter can be a great way to stay accountable and work towards your goals together. I hope you find the community on our Facebook page helpful and supportive. Remember that taking small steps each day can lead to big changes over time. I look forward to having you in the group and I'll be rooting for you!
Me too......😢
Little steps, start with getting rid of trash. Then things you don't use to Goodwill. Helps me part with things if it helps someone else.
Great losses in one's life can bring on the need to accumulate stuff. Think back to when you were young and the losses you experienced.
I am a sufferer as well as a licensed psychotherapist. There probably is more going on underneath that needs to be cleared up. I just found this channel also and it resonates with me and the way I help others. Because of empty nest and parents passing away I have accumulated stuff along with not getting rid of clothes and things I’ve collected all my life It is nice to speak to others no shame no blame just clear and heal the wounds that keep us stuck. Replace a negative thought and behavior with positive ones helps. Support and witnesses of our growth to give encouragement is so powerful. New research says move first thing in the morning for your brain as well as your body. We think better and our mood is lighter also to deal with making changes. See you in the community.
You just never know what someone is going through. It’s a reminder for compassion.
Agreed!
I think of this when driving. That person who seems distracted may be going home from just losing a loved one in hospital.😢
Sidney, so well said. I wish people would show compaction before criticism
I am trapped with clutter. But have a dear friend who is assisting.
@@judierenfrow8073 That’s a very good friend, hold on to that friend. 😉
I had a ton of mail to go thru, so I worked on it while I listened. In just this one hour - I got it done! Paper is definitely my biggest clutter issue.
Woohoo...that is awesome!!
That's awesome! I detest paper clutter.
Omg yes. Paperwork just hangs over me for months, and then once I'm forced to do something with it (ie organise it for my accountant for tax) it's NEVER as overwhelming in reality as it has been in my mind. Every year!!!
@@robynirons194 I get a folder and write on the folder taxes 2023. I stick it in my file cabinet. So I know what to do with it when they come in. In the mean time I have the rest of the paper clutter to deal with.😂
@@copperhousefarm4794 I used to do that, but when one thing goes then everything goes. Sort of all or nothing, but I'm working on getting back to "adulting".
When my grandson said he was going to go out on his own I told him I would outfit his kitchen because I had duplicates of things. He loves vintage as do I so it was a win win. He saved money setting up his first home & I was able to get rid of duplicates to someone who appreciates the same things I do. 🙂
I did same thing when daughter married 20 years ago. That helped them not have to buy things until they decided exactly what they wanted. Still has some of those items, but she keeps a nice house!😮
That is fantastic! So glad that you were able to get rid of your duplicates. Woohoo!
I did exactly the same with my grandson and other family members. I go to their homes and see my furniture and other stuff, it makes me feel good knowing it’s being used. Thanks Angela, your one smart lady. 😉
Family memories, family treasures
Awesome! Now that is the best possible answer to help a family member who needs it, in getting started! A Win, Win in the happiest proportions!
Clutter creates depression, then shame and then isolation from not letting others see your situation.
Clutter can lead to depression, shame, and isolation as we try to hide our situation. Seeking support and taking steps to address the clutter can improve well-being. Remember, you deserve a clutter-free space that nurtures your well-being.
same. and it’s so painful..the mess is always always hanging over my head. you describe the situation perfectly
The shame of it can eat you up. Especially if you have been a conscientious person. The shame is a little like the clutter itself, taking your space. Occupying your mind. Twisting your emotions. Tripping you up. Nip, nip, nip. Sitting on the edge of the bed, shifting it in the night, or moving INTO your sleeping space, cramping you up, freezing you out. Shame can make you curl up into a little ball and feel like you are disappearing. As your home disappears. As you lose yourself. Your hobbies. The items you care about or once utilized. The shame takes on a power that is bigger than you. It surrounds you like a strait jacket. It contaminates your lungs. It takes a lot to climb out of that dark. To conquer that mountain. It seems so daunting! You are already exhausted! How CAN you? How often people paint on a smile to go and act normally in the world, and they take all that stuff, that house, those emotions, and they try to SHOVE them back into the corner, or they draw the curtain or plant a hedge or lock the door.
You mentioned hobbies. I spent most of my life loving creating artwork and music. When I was "in balance",I noticed something: things got messy after a creative burst,but it's like breathing. Part of the cycle is the reward of cleaning up and putting things in their place to prepare for the next creative burst. That cycle CAN be very rewarding. Mentally re-framing things to prepare to receive the rewards can be very motivating.🕯️
So poetically and eloquently described!!!
Wow your words hit me hard. I know a lady in my community that owns a home and lives alone. During social events she shows up looking sharp and neat but she always joins the people clearing up after the gathering and she offers to take the garbage bags, usually paper plates, cups and little leftovers. So one day another lady asked me to go follow her to make sure she is ok dumping the bags. I follow her and she takes all of the bags to her car! I stay behind so she did not see me but when she walked on I went to look at her car, the tires needed more air, the car was loaded with bags and stuff, so much her drivers seat was already partially covered.
I was so shocked and told another person at the event and she said she had heard rumors about her having a cluttered home.
A few other ladies were also aware but felt there is nothing we could do. They all conclude she needs help but nobody wants to speak to her about it.
Reading your comment makes me look at that lady and I believe we should speak to her.
Would you have wanted to people approach you?
@@AsTheSunRises Thank you. I had to stop myself, as I could have gone on and on. I tend to be cluttery in things and in words. ; )
@@MaryJohanna I suppose it depends on the intention. When I lived within a cluttery space, it was partly due to a death in the family....the clearing out of those possessions in her home so that they landed in my home for a time. It was overwhelming for a long period to just figure out what to do with it all. There was also a time too when I hurt myself physically and fell behind on yard work and the like. My neighbor offered to help, but I would only accept it if he allowed me to pay him. You see, I didn't know him beyond acquaintance. I remember the time when I was out of town caring for a dying relative, and the HOA in my neighborhood called to complain that two trees had died in my front yard at home so they needed to be cut down. So....I share those experiences because it is tricky when you are dealing with someone you don't know well. I am a collector at heart, and I am not neat by any stretch of the imagination. So....trying to put myself in that woman's situation ...I can only make a guess or two. Does she have friends? Relatives? Does she receive visitors? What is her personality like? Does she seem genuine and down to earth, or is she more worried about impressions? What if you asked her in a friendly way why she collected the trash after each event? Would she resent being asked? You say she attends social events, so she must not be isolated. If she has friends and seems happy, then I don't know if I would speak to her. That would be up to her friends and family. No one wants to be called out by a stranger. On the other hand, if the lady seems isolated and possibly NEEDS a friend, then that's where I'd start. And it would be a very slow process and about being her friend, not with the goal of seeing her clean herself up. It must start with respect and appreciation for her. Even if she has an issue, her home and car etc. are her own. They are her private space. To come into that space, you need to be invited. It could be that she actually likes the clutter, or maybe she collects items for reasons you can't guess. She might have a perfectly healthy home, even if it trips her up once in a while. She might be at peace in that world. I don't mean to write an essay, but I would say that I would love help for all sorts of things, from someone who cares for me. From such a person I can take advice or certain criticisms or judgments. But if a neighbor, or worse, a group of neighbors, approached me to tell me that I seemed to have a problem.... I would either feel ashamed or angry. The first thing to come to mind would probably be, "What business is that of yours? You don't know me."
I am a social worker and have to tell you that you have more knowledge and compassion for the reality of the complex relationship between people and their stuff than many mental health professionals. You are doing so much more than cleaning. Bless you!
Oh that's so sweet of you. Thank you for watching and for your vote of confidence. I appreciate you. 🙏
@@AskAngelaBrown ❤️❤️
Agreed. Angela has such an abundance of common sense, emotional intelligence and genuinely caring attitude that I often tune in to hear her general advice at least as much as her cleaing tips.
I love this comment and I agree.
YEAH I have never hired a professional cleaner and I am listening to this like "Angela is SO aware, sensitive but practical!" have I been missing out ALL these years?😂
You have dealt with this issue more professionally and more sensitively than anybody else that I have ever seen or watched. You deserve all the kudos for this video. Thank you.
Oh wow, thank you so much for your kind words and feedback! I really appreciate it! 😊🤗
Yes! I agree with your comment, Kelly. Well written. ❤
Kelly, my thoughts exactly!
I do agree. This is a very real and sensitive issue and she has handled it beautifully. I 'm touched
Exactly!!! I’m so impressed by the professional and compassionate perspective she has.
I just found you. I’m 81 with a very full house. Very. Cluttered. Ugh. You were meant to be in my life. I’m a procrastinator , years of depression, lost my husband to covid and now have my divorced son living with me. Kids every other weekend I’m overwhelmed. I’m going to try to stick with you cause I know I need to. Thank you so very much !!!
Welcome! 😃 I am so happy you are here and finding support. I appreciate you watching! 😊
You are not alone! I can relate!
I relate also
My mom is 88 and is in a somewhat similar position. She's an artist and so she doesn't always buy things anymore but she makes them. Lol but it is harder to deal with as you get older because of your physical abilities so I hope that encouragement you find here will help you to get things more situated in your life.
I think on the show Hoarders, they say that all the clutter is "deferred decisions" We don't want to deal with it now so we put it off till later. The problem is that eventually a crisis happens and you have to deal with it all immediately which is so so hard.
As a life long “neat nik “ ( I loved, and always had, a beautifully decorated , tidy home) I can share with you that when parents die & leave you whole houses full of gorgeous, and sentimental furniture, China etc etc. , it opens the door for clutter to come in- because of the emotions, it’s hard to give away, throw away, release these precious things…. But I’m slowly doing it. My situation was made worse by the fact that they died only 18 months apart ( right before Covid) Thank you for touching on this reality.
I am so sorry for your losses. I appreciate you sharing this with us as I am sure there are others in a similar situation. Wishing you all the best as you move forward. 🙂
I'm so sorry to hear about your parents. I have such a hard time with letting go of sentimental items.
My plan is to hire a TaskRabbit tasker to take photos of everything. At the funeral I will ask everyone to write down an item they may feel connected to and why. It will help me gift memories to cherish for special people. Much easier to let go as well since you know your giving it to someone that will treasure it as much as you in the same way
@@lisat9707 great idea!!!
I think one of my biggest triggers to collect and not release is that threat on the horizon that we're about to face a worse time than the great depression... and not wanting to get rid of resources that would aid in survival.
Yeah I think the same problem is going to happen with all the turmoil in the world.
I understand how the fear of an impending crisis can trigger a desire to hold onto resources for survival. It's important to find a balance between preparedness and living in the present. Connect with others who share similar concerns and focus on nurturing your well-being to navigate these uncertain times with strength and resilience.
Yes, I have the same view. With systems collapsing all around us, and the hardest time ever ahead, we can no longer believe those organisers who say, "get rid, you can always buy another one later". That won't be true.
On the other hand, in difficult times we may need to be mobile, and our stuff ties us down.
There's no easy answer for an unprecedented future situation. But I suspect more stuff will become valueless than will become valuable.
@lesliechampaign7871mmmm....I know someone who's house is literally (and I'm using that word correctly) overflowing with things and they bought a garden shed for the excess. That's now overflowing too and so is their caravan and they've just bought another shed. Their property is rapidly shrinking. I don't know how the wife will recoup after a soon to have hip replacement. It's kind of hard to watch.
@@janebrown7231 Even if all that happens, progress can still be made. Some items are more valuable than others in a survival situation. Obviously if SHTF, I doubt most people would miss a copy of 'Paul Blart Mall Cop' for example. Sell that thing and use that dollar to buy more canned food. Should at the very least get no-brainer items like that out.
I recently suffered an accident that caused me multiple injuries and a brain injury that caused depression, anxiety, fatigue, headaches, and memory loss. I became overwhelmed, and although I had a relationship for 10 years before my injury, I pushed him away, because I often feel overwhelmed because I am unable to clean my house as I normally would, and I have lost my self-confidence. My friend made periodic attempts to reconnect, but I kept him at a distance. I recently asked him to help me get to a Shred-it event (because I no longer drive since I have dizziness) so that I could discard mail and paper. I let him come in and although I was embarrassed, he instead said let me help, in no time, he tided my room for me, and he talked about the woman he remembers; this was so refreshing for me #THEREISPOWERINTRUTH #LOVEWINS
Praying for you to heal & take the time for self-care & I do know what an oxymoron that is. I’ve often thought (to myself) I thought self-love was the way I got all this crap in the first place! I mean, I bought it!! Turns out that I wasn’t taking care of self; I was trying to fill the emptiness inside!! Be kind to yourself as you slowly begin to recover your life!🙏🏻😍
I'm a brain injury survivor. I feel your pain. Good for you to allow your friend to come support you!
I'm sorry to hear about your accident and the resulting challenges that you've faced. Pushing your partner away due to feeling overwhelmed and unable to maintain your home is a difficult choice to make. However, it's encouraging to hear that your friend recently helped you and that he has reminded you of the person you used to be. This act of kindness and the power of truth and love can bring much-needed refreshment and hope during this challenging time. Remember that you are not alone! You're friend has shown you this, don't push him away. Wishing you continued strength and healing. Sending hugs. 🤗
You’re the first person who actually addresses the emotional attachment of things. It’s not the things. It’s the person with whom the things are connected. Thank you for acknowledging that this is hard.
You're welcome! And thank you so much for watching the video and for your comment, I appreciate it! 😊
First person? From what? Every hoarders episode addresses this.... tons of youtubers address kt
I’m in tears right now because because this is such an emotional issue. I appreciate the understanding and help so very much 😢
So sorry for the tears. Sending hugs. 🤗🤗
Hugs, prayers and strength
It's taken me three years to look at my old stuff without crying.
I feel excited that this program is available. What a great help!!!!! I started cleaning already, and I could actually SEE all this mess!!!!😮 Before, I could NOT see the mess. 😳🙈🤯
I can't even look at this right now 😢
You're braver than me but I promise I'll watch it this week during the day so I don't worry myself before bed ❤
🍀🍀🍀❤️🤗❤️🍀🍀🍀
Clutter is morally neutral, it does not mean we are bad people!
✌️
I am a licensed therapist and suffer from hoarding. You have great ideas and are so compassionate. Thank you for your channel. Finally, some help with my issue that exacerbates my depression.
Thanks for sharing with us and for dropping by. You are not alone, those who care for others are immensely susceptible to clutter and hoarding. The key is to remember to take care of yourself - Your health matters too. 🙏🙏🙏
I totally recommend Prof Sam Vaknin's you tubes ...(whilst cleaning!) 👍😁☮️
Thank you for sharing that you're a licensed therapist...and have issues too.
Omg, you just absolutely described my current life. My dad died with 4 generations of stuff. Some very “antique valuable items.” Long story but I’m 64 overwhelmed with stuff and direction of sorting, selling etc. But the clutter is absolutely affecting my mental health!
I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through such a overwhelming situation. Dealing with the belongings left behind by a loved one can be emotionally challenging, especially when it spans multiple generations. It's understandable that the sheer amount of items and the responsibility of sorting and selling them can feel daunting. The clutter surrounding you may be taking a toll on your mental well-being. Remember to be kind to yourself during this process and seek support from professional organizers or estate liquidators who can guide you through the sorting and selling process. Taking small steps and prioritizing your well being will help you navigate through this overwhelming journey.
@@AskAngelaBrown don’t store it. Keep only what you need or want. .. call the trucking co. Who delivered goods. See if they have charity they donate to . Have em load n deliver. Or call rental agency for houses apts. see if they want it
We have downsizing companies that come in clean, declutter and list valuables to sell. Does this exist where you are?
When my mother passed away we had the huge job of cleaning out her house. Over 50 years of accumulation. We went through everything to fish out her jewelry, cash, paperwork, and some keepsakes, threw out the trash and then hired an estate sale company. That $8500 check for our share of the proceeds was a nice little bonus.
I am dealing with this to some extent following death of husband. Everything feels so emotional, like I'm throwing him away piece by piece. Tysm for this.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a loved one is difficult to deal with and lettiong go of their belongings can take an emotional toll. You will get thru this. Sending you positive vibes, hugs and prayers. 🤗🙏
You're not throwing him away, you are re-gifting his possessions, so others can to can enjoy the happiness of his presence and continue the joy, of his life and purpose, think of it as karma. "Everything (& everyone) comes into your life for a reason, season or lifetime"
If you sell an item, then ok, you receive some money, that you can put towards something you need or a treat for yourself. As he would never want you to be cold, or hungry, or not have a repair done, or not have a beautiful bouquet of flowers for your birthday xx
I’m so sorry dear. Perhaps it might help to ask yourself, “Would my husband want me to be overburdened by attachment to earthly possessions, or would he want me to be free and enjoy life?” That’s maybe a bit oversimplified but I think you get what I mean. I’m sure he would not want you to suffer over this.
I'm 70 and while my home is neat and the rooms uncluttered I see my kitchen and closets have things I haven't used in decades. As I started watching this vid I brought out a Dollar Tree basket and started going through the kitchen. The glass citrus juicer, the third pair of tongs, some glasses I never use, cookie cutters, an egg slicer, a pasty maker, some knives are all leaving but the drawers are still full. But I also lowered one of the shelves so I can reach things more easily so I will cou t this semi-successful.
FYI, I make my bed every morning and although retired get up by 7 and take a walk.
It is so great seeing you in action!! I am rooting for you!!😍😍😍
I couldn’t go through or throw out my Dad’s stuff for three years. Only now have I started. Thank you Angela.
Letting go of a loved ones belongings is easier said than done. You will get through this.
So glad my phone listened to me talking about being a hoarder & suggested this video. I think this will help me a lot!
Most of my mess isn't due to emotional attachment but to not wanting things to go to the landfill because someone can use it.
You can always donate the items to someone that may need them or you can try selling them. Glad that your phone suggested this video! Thanks for watching!
@@chirpieone9193 thank you, what a great suggestion! I will definitely check that out!!!
I'm glad you said this, because I've been suspecting the same thing because of ads that have appeared after I've mentioned something in front of my phone. It's really unsettling...😳
@@yvettescheiman4991I can mention in conversation the most random thing & then I'll get ads on TH-cam for it. Like the other day my mom, sister & I were sitting at my mom's kitchen table & I said I wanted to get Botox for my "grouchy mark". Now I'm constantly getting Botox commercials & I've never searched on my phone for anything like that. It happens all the time. Try talking about some random thing & then see what ads you get.
@@yvettescheiman4991 my phone can read my mind! lol
Angela, this is the Very Best Channel for helping people with Hoarding issues instead of making them feel ashamed. You are making a huge difference in people’s lives. One step at a time I keep telling myself; it will lead to progress. Thank you!❤
Wow, thank you so much for your kind words!🤗😊
I think this is the best ever, I love watching you.👋♥️
🥰I could not remember , learn, or succeed in putting the tips to use if it wasn't for Angela's kindness, sweetness, intelligence, and tough love. Many thanks Angela. .
Yes I have clutter paralysis. It got a lot worse over covid, due to increased stress and anxiety. Plus a lot of impulse shopping as a way of reducing anxiety, which has been something I’ve done for a long time but its become worse. I’m an introvert and a BIG problem for me is having everyone at home so much. I really need my alone time and my husband works from time a lot now & my children seem to have a lot of days off school and I can’t think or relax enough to deal with it when they (esp my husband) are around. I just keep trying to find an empty quiet room to escape to because I tend to get irritated really easily. I am a lot more productive when its just me at home.
I'm painfully lonely and would trade with u in a heart beat.
@CLord-gs7nj Thanks, my children are a bit older. Its probably not so much them as us all being at home at the same time in a house that is too small. I can cope for a normal amount of time but over the last 3 years the time everyone is at home really increased.
@@jessica79m sorry to hear that. Yes being alone too often isn’t good either. Its hard to get the balance right.
@Jessica Manville Hi..Take a leap of faith and join a group. Loneliness is not good company. If there is nothing you can get to either start your own or look for online support group❤
EDIT: Or discuss it with the family, you may find you are in the same boat. It can help your loved ones understand and learn what to do with these situations and it's not cause you don't love them.
@CLord-gs7nj Thanks ❤️ yes u too.
This is the best information I have Ever heard. Thank you, I feel you are talking me. I am 76 and alone, it is hard and depressing. You are a life savor! Thanks.
You are so welcome! Thank you for your kind words, I appreciate it! Sending hugs. 🤗😊
This broke my heart! Sending you lots of love, Linda! If you lived nearby, I’d adopt you as my second mom 😭
God bless you... I wish you were my neighbor!💕🙏🏽
I am so grateful to find you r channel, Angela!! I am still feeling & dealing with an ugly divorce from a 30 year marriage that happened 5 years ago! My ex is a Covert Narcissist that I knew was a pathological liar, but he is so much worse. I suffer from c-ptsd, depression, anxiety, parental alienation & yes, hoarding tendencies. I raised 4 great kids, while moving every 4 years for ex’s career. Sadly, I barely have relationships with my 4 kids. I live in a 2 bedroom apartment & I ‘m alone. I how thru cycles of paralyzing depression & sleeplessness because the trauma of being forced out of my beautiful home & discarded like yesterdays garbage. I didn’t know that I was being financially abused for years. I guess the shame from staying with such an abuser whom I actually loved has really taken it’s toll. I have had therapy & I guess I need more, but can’t afford it. I feel frozen but relieved to find you & your team to watch & learn from!! Thanks so much🙏🏻🦋❣️
So sorry that you had a bad experience. I hope that the videos and all the suggestions help to get you to a place where you feel happy and better. So glad that you have found us and we glad that we are here to help you along in your journey. You got this! And remember you are not alone, we are rooting for you! Sending hugs. 🤗😊
Well done Sonia for leaving that bad relationship and very well done for raising 4 great children too. I am sad for you and being lonely is the worst. Please please start to rebuild a happy life for yourself, the life you deserve. Start by reaching out to your children. You have reached out online. It is easier to type how you feel to people you don’t know. Tell your children. The children you have raised won’t want their mother to be lonely ❤
Sonia, I am sorry for the hurtful things you have and are going through. Counselors can help, but especially zoom groups for people who are going through some of the same things. To have a place where people understand, are supportive, and non judgmental helps greatly. Think of your self as a SURVIVOR!!! My clutter is overwhelming! It really makes us feel worse.
This is just a suggestion- there are free support groups like co-dependent no more, battered women support groups. Your local newspaper may list support groups and check local library.
I too am going through similar circumstances right now and moving from my wonderful home of thirty plus years decluttering a mountain of life into a much smaller home, all while going through the trauma of what you speak about.
Thank goodness we found for this channel. I like what one commenter said about support group. We definitely need understanding human connection right now. Hang in Sonia somehow we’ll make it through! We may be down but we’re not out.💕🌺
I've dealt with much fatigue. I have noticed at times it's helpful to play happy, upbeat music while I work.
For me, it's Christian music. There have been many days that the fatigue just wouldn't allow me to work on cleaning even though I really wanted to. This has caused much more clutter than normal.
As I walk through a room I try to pick up at least a little & put it away as I'm on the way to another part of my house. At least it's something. God bless you for the help you're giving!
Oh, music is a must to start a cleaning frenzy! My 1st pick is usually the Beatles. Good,upbeat music to sing along with is invaluable.
Thank you for sharing your experience and for the kind words. It's great that you've found a way to motivate yourself and make cleaning more enjoyable by playing upbeat music. Taking small steps, like picking up a little bit at a time, can also be very helpful in making progress towards a cleaner and more organized home. Remember to take breaks when needed and not to push yourself too hard. Keep up the good work and God bless you too!🙏🤗😊
Music is a great motivator!
I was about to write these same words when I came across your post. I, too, use Christian music to call upon the Lord's strength to clean because of my fatigue. I have been fighting cutter in different areas of the home because my husband is a little bit disorganized and creates clutter. I didn't realize how bad it was until I got ill and couldn't catch up to him anymore. Our issue is more of his incomplete projects or repairs, which causes him to collect tools and supplies for these projects. Once I get him to do them, I use a similar approach to yours. Clean bits at a time until the mess is gone. I just feel that these repairs and clutter areas were issues that I could have taken care of so much faster, as in the past, if I weren't so fatigued. I've been using these videos as a guide on how to be gentle with my husband in understanding his role in the home. I'm afraid that I have enabled him for may years by taking care of things. Now, I feel I can not handle the home, and he still expects me to do it.
My sister has bit of a hoarding habit. I came to visit. When cooking I noticed she had spices in many cupboards. I asked if she wanted me to organize them. She said yes. Well, to find all the spices I got to organize all her food storage. She is particularly happy I organized her baking supplies in a convenient cupboard. This is spreading to other rooms with her doing it for herself and even her other houses- she has 4. God even sent a flood to one of her homes to prompt her.
You're an amazing sister. Makes me miss mine. 😊
That’s a really kind thing to do of you. Does your sister have 4 houses she lives in herself?
Thanks for sharing! You are an awesome sister for helping her. So glad that she is doing things in her other places too!
I have amazing people in my life, but no one who would do decluttering for me. That's a whole 'nother level of being an amazing person. You need to know- that's less common these days & I'm glad you're in the world. :-)
@@SidewaysY I’ve volunteered countless times to help my sister declutter her home but she refuses. I wish you had someone like myself in your life. If I ask for any kind of help from my sister, for example for her to pick me up after getting a medical procedure, she will do it but begrudgingly. But that’s life.
Are you familiar with A Hoarder's Heart channel? She was a level 4 hoarder who is now a level 1. As she takes us along as she declutters, she talks about why she couldn't let go of even trash, of the traumas of her past and how her stuff made her feel safe, and how letting anything go actually terrified her. She explains how she's working through it all, and how she's gotten to where she is. She's continuing to work through the emotions that are now allowing her to gradually let go of more and more stuff. So enlightening as she continues her mission to humanize hoarders! And so encouraging to watch her being able to clear more and more spaces, being able to let go of greater amounts of stuff each time.
Thank you for mentioning this. I just checked out a few of her videos and they are just what I need. 😊
I will have to check her out, thank you for the information!
Is that on TH-cam
@@jessica79m Yes
I’ve been like this for years…I use to be so organized and clean but the last several years my entire house has been a disaster…can’t find the floors and counters and sinks..Depression
Same. 😔
I feel same
Hi Margaret, so what happened or changed in your life to bring that about?
Me too. Now trying to unravel the things that creapt upon me over many years, and that at least feels like the start of a willingness to want to heal instead of the feeling of not deserving and thus being a bit stuck.
So, my obvious start point right now is gathering together all the recylable packaging for tomorrow's collection (and actually remembering to fill and put out the recycling bin!) AND bin all the scrapy wee bits of rubbish that accumulate so easily!
At least that's a start =) Hopefully that'll clear a surface I can then wipe clean properly.
Finding the energy can be tricky.
I hope you and all the other lovely folk here can find a wee place to start too.
'Small changes, big difference!'
Don't know who that quote belongs to but that I think is one I can manage to try =)
Have a lovely day Margaret and everyone else too.
I'm sorry to hear that you've been struggling with depression and its impact on your home. It's important to remember that depression can make even the simplest tasks feel overwhelming, and it's okay to seek help and support in managing it.
Starting small can be helpful - try setting aside just 10-15 minutes a day to focus on decluttering or cleaning one small area. You may also want to consider reaching to a friend or relative for help, or maybe a therapist or counselor who can help you work through your depression and develop coping strategies. Remember, it's never too late to make positive changes and take steps towards a more organized and clutter-free home. You are not alone in this!
Even though my closet needs a lot of help lol, I think the thing that helped me learn to clean, (and even if it's not perfect at least it's a lot better after cleaning), is that when I was young, we had a lady who came to our house Monday through Friday to babysit us kids while my mother was at work, and the lady also cleaned, ironed, whatever else needed to be done. So as a kid, I was able to watch her and see how she did things, and that helped me a lot to generally learn how to clean things. My mother didn't have time to teach me, so that was really helpful having this lady come in every day.
Love this! So glad that you had someone to learn from. When it comes to your closet, try to tackle a section at a time so it doesn't overwhelm you.
@@AskAngelaBrown ❤ Thank you that is a good idea!
I find people who want my stuff and bring them boxes of stuff to clear things out of the house. I tell them to use it, give it away, sell it, or throw it away, but they have to take everything I give them. I feel good knowing I am helping people who are in need, which is about the only way I can detach from my stuff and let go of so much.
This is great! I'm so glad that you have found a way you get rid of the stuff you no longer need and also help others at the same time.
I have been searching and watching hoarder videos on TH-cam. This is where I am, a hoarder with clutter paralysis. I am full to overflowing with anxiety right now. I can totally relate to "Rachel". That's my house. I have qualified for help with cleaning etc for senior home and personal care. I am 65 and met for the 1st time with the ladies yesterday that are going to come each week. I let them look in the house, but we had to sit outside on the porch to talk. I am praying the scope of things will not be overwhelming for them. I am motivated to do the things, but I know it will be hard because of the emotional attachment to many of my things. My hoarding came about due to the trauma of divorce and as a result being reduced from comfortable to living below poverty line. I have PTSD, Anxiety disorder and depression. I need repairs on my home, and may qualify for helpvwith that, but at the moment no one can get in to see and make assessments. Prayers and any helpful thoughts would be greatly appreciated. I cannot continue to live this way. I have shut myself off from everyone because of the shame and
embarrassment. I realize this video is part of a series. Which is the first one so I can watch them in order? Thanks.
I'm sorry to hear about the challenges you're facing as a hoarder with clutter paralysis. It's great that you've qualified for help with cleaning, and it's normal to feel anxious about the scope of the task. Remember that the professionals assisting you are experienced and there to support you. Emotional attachment to belongings can make the process difficult, but take it one step at a time and focus on the benefits of decluttering. Seek therapy or counseling to address the underlying issues and prioritize self-care. Keep exploring resources for home repairs and advocate for yourself. Remember, there's no shame in asking for help, and you're on a journey toward positive change. Stay strong, be kind to yourself, and lean on the available support.
As for the other videos you can do a search on my channel by typing in clutter and several videos will pop up.
One suggestion I've heard that may help with objects you have strong emotional attachment with. Take a photo of the object. Put it in a scrap book or photo album and write about why it means what it does to you. If its because it reminds you of your favorite Aunt but you never use it, you can get rid of the object itself, but keep the visual reminder in the photo you took and read and even add to what you've written about your memories.
Here’s an affirmation I use: “No need to magnify, I can cope.”
Another one is: “This is distressing, but not dangerous.” ❤
I really have to do something now befor it gets worse. It's been three years stuck, paralyzed. It's got ton so out of control that if I had to call an ambulance, God for bid, they wouldn't be able to bring in a streacher to help someone. Im bombarded with clothes and can't seem to let them go. It's challenging to decide what to let go of and the value of them and things I have. I worrie about not having the money to replace what I have, which is to much stuff. My house looks like a thrift store. I hate it. Where do I begin. Piles of clothes everywhere, stacks of papers, nicknacks ughh. I've ran out of storage areas in basement, my closets. I'm so glad I found a place I can talk about it.
Thank you for bringing up the landfill concern so early in your video! I rarely hear anyone mention it in decluttering videos, and it's my most paralyzing issue. I grew up on the edge of the poverty bracket, so the mindset was that we could not afford to replace something we threw away, but I also had an earth-conscious community so there was encouragement to repair or repurpose as much as possible.
I want to share the epiphany I had about the landfill paralysis. I am so guilty about adding to the refuse issue that I am choosing to keep the landfill in my home. So I'm essentially punishing myself for my wastefulness, and endangering my physical and emotional health. Seems like something worth changing.
I have the perfect mix of ingredients to create a hoarding situation.
- My upbringing.
- A lack of skill or time to actually repurpose or repair items.
- Two adult children who are in college, who do not live here but still have plenty of things in their former bedrooms.
- Parents facing their mortality and offloading their life's work to their offspring.
- A deceased brother whose death caused years of PTSD. (I didn't inherit his stuff, but the last things he touched in my house stayed where he left them in the middle of my office floor for five years. Very inconvenient, as they were the supports he put my truck up on when he fixed my brakes!)
- An autoimmune condition that strictly limits my energy level.
- A husband paralyzed by stress who doesn't even notice that he creates disaster areas all over the house.
- And no attic, basement or closets!
I also have stashes of "someday my house will look like this" items that have been in boxes for decades waiting for my lifestyle to change. Guess what? I'm always going to choose having cats over keeping beautiful, delicate glassware.
I am slowly making headway in clearing out, but I feel like Sisyphus rolling an ever-growing boulder up the mountain.
Thank you for sharing your heartfelt concerns and challenges. It takes courage to acknowledge and confront the impact of our actions on the environment and our personal well-being. The combination of factors you mentioned has undoubtedly created a complex situation, making it difficult to navigate the decluttering process. Remember that you are not alone in feeling overwhelmed. It's important to approach this journey with self-compassion and understanding. Start by setting small, achievable goals that align with your energy levels and capabilities. Focus on progress rather than perfection. Celebrate each step forward, no matter how small it may seem.
Consider reaching out to supportive individuals or organizations who can offer guidance and assistance. They may provide valuable resources, tools, and emotional support to help you along the way. Remember, decluttering is a personal journey, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. Find what works best for you and prioritize your physical and emotional health. As you continue to make headway, remember that change takes time and effort. The path may feel challenging at times, but with perseverance, compassion, and a willingness to let go, you can create a space that supports your well-being and reflects the life you desire.
Actually, seeing these hoarded houses helps motivate me to get more organized and to clean and donate stuff. I personally have suffered from depression myself to the point where I was medicated for 10 years, and I’m thankful that even in the worst states of my depression, I knew that if I let my home look like a garbage down, I would be even more depressed. My late mother had some mild hoarding issues and I knew I did not want to emulate that trait in her, but I did love her eye for beauty and decided to focus on that.
I deeply appreciate your honesty and vulnerability in sharing your own experiences with depression and the impact it had on your perspective of maintaining a clean and organized home. It's truly commendable that you've found motivation in observing hoarded houses to cultivate a more organized and clutter-free environment for yourself. Recognizing the influence of your late mother's hoarding tendencies while embracing her eye for beauty is a testament to your resilience and ability to carve your own path. By focusing on the positive aspects and nurturing your surroundings, you're creating a space that reflects your personal growth and helps uplift your spirits. Your journey is an inspiration, and I wish you continued strength and joy in your pursuit of a clutter-free and beautiful home. 🤗😊
I agree. I love to watch the Hoarding shows but they make me think how much I need to do a bit of a clean up and organizing.
I'm not to the level of a hoarder but I'm definitely a pack rat.
The depression is tough too though making it harder to get that motivation.
I have taken many photos of sentimental belongings, before I donated them. They are now in 2 “memories” photo albums my daughter helped me create. I have 126 pictures of items. Each with a little story. I no longer feel guilty having to let go of loved one’s cherished belongings. It’s a comfort to me to know those items are being useful to someone else, while I can look at my memory photo albums. You can write a story with each photo. An example is, I have a photo of my mom’s favorite dishes. So with that photo is a special story about a Thanksgiving day we had with those dishes.
IT’S A LOT EASIER to have a beautiful story album full of memories, than to have a house full of items I don’t have room for & I’ll never use. I’m so grateful my daughter came up with this idea. 🥰 I get to honor family members by putting memories in our story albums. Thank you for your excellent video. 🦋
I'm truly touched by the beautiful way you've preserved memories through photo albums with your daughter. Having 126 pictures, each with a heartfelt story, is a wonderful testament to your love and connection with your loved ones. It's liberating to let go of physical items while still holding onto the emotions they represent. Your daughter's idea is inspiring, and I'm grateful it has brought you joy and allowed you to honor your family in a special way. Thank you for sharing your experience and reminding us of the power of preserving memories. Sending you love, gratitude, and best wishes as you continue to treasure these beautiful story albums.
@@AskAngelaBrown
Thank you 🌸🌺🌻
@tiffanyb.7596 what a beautiful story. I love what you are doing & kudos to your daughter for such an amazing idea. I'm not a hoarder, but during a very stressful time in my life I feared that I was becoming one. A year ago I moved to a very small apartment and found myself trying to hold on to so much more than I had room for. It literally and figuratively felt like I carried the weight of all of that clutter. It was exhausting but I finally decided I had to make changes to save my sanity. What inspired me more than anything was seeing other people's organized and clutter free homes. It's impossible to describe how good it felt when I finally took action and got rid of everything that I didn't feel I absolutely needed. It truly is a feeling of freedom.
To be honest with you, I didn’t want to watch this video because it seemed too long and I thought it was going to be boring. But now I apologize and want to thank you because I have learned a lot. My garage is so full of stuff and it creates anxiety every time I go in there because I want to clean and organize but due to the lack of time I never do. The only thing I like about it is that whenever someone needs something, they always come to my house to see if I have it or something similar. And guess what? They do find it, or at least something similar that will work for them. So yeah, I have that love/hate relationship with myself for letting my garage get so full of junk that now it makes me feel sick every time I go in there 🙊🤕🙈
Oh no so sorry that you feel that way about your garage. But I'm happy that you watched the video. Try the tips/suggestions, ask someone for help, remember that you are not alone and there is always someone that will be willing to help. Sending hugs. 🤗
@@AskAngelaBrown Thank you very much. That is so crazy how all this clutter affects our emotions . I already experiences it and it’s not a good feeling. But yes I will ask for help before I end up in a mad house, lol. Thank you for your videos. I appreciate you. God bless you always.
@@naomia.medina1071I wonder if any of those friends who find things at your house would help you organise it?
@labradorite8256 they have offered to help but it's so much stuff that I feel they'll end up feeling worse than I did!😖😵😵💫🥴 lol
@@naomia.medina1071 I hope you find a way to deal with it. You deserve to be free of the burden. I've been watching a lady do both her own and help others and it's so much easier when there's 2 of you tackling it.
Starting in a small area is the way to go when you don't know what to do first. Even a few sq ft of floor or worktop space encourages you. When I helped my friend clear out her dad's and her own house after he died, she'd hoarded both of them and was paralysed. I suggested we go for quick kills, like getting rid of obvious trash, then set her defined tasks like doing the dishes. When I saw she was getting overwhelmed I'd suggest she do a run to the tip or charity shop. Little by little it got better, over a period of around 10 months, to the point we could access and repair her bedroom ceiling which had caved in because of an overhead leak, meaning she'd been sleeping on the sofa for at least 2 years. Finally I was able to redecorate her living room and laundry room. Shame had prevented her from asking for help. Ironically, her dad dying gave her an excuse for her house being full thus letting people in and I ran with that, as she got really good at selling, donating and binning stuff. Unfortunately she remains good at buying 'bargains', and I can't fix that...
Love how you helped your friend and your process!! Thank you for sharing this story. The bargain shopping is a whole other issue to deal with and many a hard time stopping it. But kudos to you for being an awesome friend!!😊🤗
I have add and I want like to start projects and never finish
I started “wanted” to sell stuff on eBay like 7-8 years ago and every time I went to yard sales and rummage sales and found “great” things to sell well fl to now and my office and my garage has over 40 totes full of clothes to sell
This year stopped myself from going to thrift stores or yard sales unless I list 10 things it may and I have 6 things listed
I am hearing my story here but don't have a fantastic friend like you. It's so overwhelming. I could really use advice on selling stuff! I have tons I can sell. But I only do fb and they have to pick it up. It's not great. Or worth it even sometimes. Advice on selling?
@@jellen7332 say shoot that didn't work. Donate it all and walk away fresh. Lesson learned the hard way but you will not let happen ever again.
You're a great friend!
Thank you. I'm stuck in grief and clutter. You are truly describing exactly what can happen, especially to those like me with cptsd. Thank you 🙏🏻🐕
You're very welcome, and I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a difficult time. Grief and clutter can indeed intertwine, and it can be particularly challenging for individuals with CPTSD. It's important to remember that you're not alone in this journey. Seeking support from loved ones, therapy, or support groups can provide valuable assistance in navigating both the emotional challenges and the clutter itself. Take things one step at a time, be gentle with yourself, and know that healing is possible. Sending you strength and support. 🙏🏻
I have been bedridden for 2 years. Pain and grief . Glad I found your sight.
I'm sorry to hear that you've been bedridden for two years and that you're dealing with pain and grief. It can be incredibly challenging to manage those feelings while dealing with physical limitations. I'm glad that you found my site and hope that it can provide you with some comfort and support. Remember to be gentle with yourself and take things one day at a time. There is hope for finding ways to manage your pain and grief, and you deserve to feel supported and cared for.
I’ve been hiding away from the world because I had a breakdown and my house became like a hoarders. It’s been like that for 4 years. This has really helped
I'm truly sorry to hear that you've been struggling with a breakdown and your living environment has become overwhelming. It's completely understandable to want to hide away during difficult times. I'm glad to hear that the video has provided some help and support. Remember, healing takes time, and it's never too late to make positive changes. Start small, one step at a time, and be gentle with yourself throughout the process. Reach out to loved ones, friends or professionals who can offer support and guidance. You deserve to create a living space that feels comfortable and supportive to your well-being. Keep going, and know that you are not alone on this journey.
Battling some depression and illness which makes it even harder to clean looking for motivation and realistic ideas how to start and your video came up very helpful and very relatable thank you 🙏🏼
I'm sorry to hear that you're battling depression and illness, and I'm glad that you found my video helpful and relatable. It can be difficult to find motivation to clean and organize when dealing with those challenges, but taking small steps can make a big difference. Try breaking down tasks into smaller, manageable steps and rewarding yourself for each accomplishment. Remember to be gentle with yourself and take breaks when needed. You're doing a great job seeking out resources and taking steps towards improving your living space. Keep up the good work!
Thank you Angela! I have cleaned houses over 10yrs. You are so kind! Again, thank you. You are helping so many ❤
Action is the enemy of thought. Get up...that depression will lift. And you will feel amazing that your house is back. And when you walk in...you automatically relax...
And its beautiful.
Thank you for saying that and for sharing. 💙
Angela you are an angel. You are so compassionate and understanding of what people are going through.
Thank you for your kind words! As a professional cleaner, I understand that cleaning is not just about tidying up physical spaces, but also about creating a sense of calm and peace in people's lives. It's important to approach each client with empathy and understanding, and I strive to do that in all of my work.
i am so glad i stumbled across you!! i need this!! gonna be 70 in Jan, house i grew up in, deceased parents stuff, my stuff, bros stuff, ex's stuff, ex bf's stuff, current hubs stuff, #1 sons stuff AND #2 has moved back!!! happily he is trying to help, but we are ALL getting paralyzed!! I WILL BE BACK!!
I am rooting for you, keep us posted!!!👏👏👏
I got into clutter trouble because of selling used items on-line. But when my brother died I got paralyzed and stopped working my business. Also I brought too much of my brothers things home. One thing that helped me in letting go of things I wanted to make money from: "whatever you give away will come back to you finacially one day." It is like the idea of kindnesses we give away that will find their way back to us. So I could haul it away without emotion. Also I started down sizing inside closets and cabinets first, so I could put away the limited things that are important. I always pray that God will help me let go. It really helps. I also limit the number of hours I work on clutter. I work for 4 hours Mon-Thurs. Friday thru Sunday I reward myself by doing what I want to do. (I find on those days, that I look forward to finishing a sewing project or art project. Before that I felt I did not deserve to do things I enjoy. This left me burnt out and overwhelmed on dealing with clutter. It is so important to reward yourself. You are not a slave. It is so important that one understand that it takes time, so you don't overdo. And know there are things to look foreward to. I try to keep the rooms clean, that people see when they come in the house. But admit I am still working on my living room. And have a room full of boxes. But I just
I love your word/reward system. I'm especially thrilled the rewards are linked to hobbies rather than food or drinks that add calories or dull the senses. You are one smart cookie. 👏 Thanks for sharing this.
Yes! This schedule is amazing! Thank you! ❤ 😊😮 ! 😊
You caught my attention when you mentioned Rachel paralyzed by her sisters death. My sister died a year ago and had become a hoarder, but it was mom’s death 3 years ago that has paralyzed me. We lived together the four years before she passed, and were best friends. I was executor of her estate and realized I wasn’t dealing with it because I didn’t want to acknowledge that she was really gone(she’d been in a nursing care facility for 10 months after a stroke) Thank you for helping me realize that I’m not processing and divesting all her clothes and things because I’m still trying to keep her here and alive. Somehow I think mom had God put this video in my TH-cam to help me deal and heal.
Thank you for your kind words. I am so sorry for your loss. Keep us posted, we are pulling for you.
I love that you are exploring this topic. And Angela you are so compassionate! I love what you’re saying about strengthening the “decluttering muscles“ -it’s always hardest getting started. Thanks for your inspiring messages. I have a room with all the extra stuff I don’t wanna deal with, myself. i’m gonna take a fresh look at it now.
Thank you so much for your kind words, I really appreciate them! Definitely take a fresh look and give the tips a try, you can do it!
P pl m
Getting out of the rut and overcoming inirtia is more than half the battle. I started working out after I retired,and truly, just getting to the car and driving to the gym was the toughest part. It also helped that the mental, emotional results were spectacular. I always felt better coming out than when I drove there,and after about a year of consistently going every other day,I was literally high on endorphins for 48 hours,and couldn't wait to hit the gym again..and I was healthier. Covid really screwed the routine up,but I remember how good it was. Trying to make it back to the mountain top again.
I too lost a relationship but it's nice to know that I am not alone. Thank you for helping me and others.
Sorry that you had to deal with this. And remember that you are not alone in anything. Sending hugs and wishing you the best in your journey. You got this! 🤗🤗
I know exactly what this is. I have it. Because of trauma I had done to me in the house I can't bring myself to remove the stuff. It's literally driving me into one room. Ty I appreciate this.
I'm so sorry to hear about the trauma you experienced in your home and how it's affecting your ability to declutter. It's understandable that it can be difficult to let go of items that are associated with painful memories. Please know that you're not alone in feeling this way and that there is hope for healing and moving forward. It may be helpful to seek support from a therapist or counselor who can help you process your emotions and develop coping strategies. Remember to be kind to yourself and take things one step at a time. You've got this. ❤
I sooo appreciate your sensitivity regarding clutter. My clutter represents work that I used to be able to perform before my back and legs were injured. I “feel” like if I let these items go I am loosing more of my physical abilities, like I have to prove to myself that I can still do it.
You are so sensitive Angela, I’ve fallen in love with you already 😃
What a lovely thing to say. Thank you for watching and for taking the time to drop me a line. You just made my day. 😍
It's hard to move past our long term careers and respect thar we had. I became disabled from my Nursing job and it was very difficult to come to peace with the change. I hope you find your peace soon ❤
I understand too well. When we are struck with disability and chronic illness beyond our control we mourn the loss of who we were. Getting rid of stuff to me represents losing hope that I will ever recover enough to do those things I had dreamed of doing. I was in my 40s and a mother of 6 children when I was left paralyzed from a flu vaccine and now deal with extreme Chronic fatigue, brain fog and a whole gammet of neurological issues. I feel like if I get rid of my things, I am getting rid hope and a part of me. ( I know it sounds ridiculous. around Those around me pressure me to get rid of all of my work clothes, my craft room supplies, entertaining dishes, career reference books, etc.) I struggle to have the strength and energy to deal with it, as doing simple tasks drain my energy and taking on the emotional and physical challenge of getting rid of my stuff is daunting and possibly impossible for me physically. I have a goal of just taking 15 minutes a day going through stuff. If it takes years, so be it. Angela is the best! Her cheerleading keeps me going.
I help with my bedbound family member unexpectedly the past couple of years & have a lot of other, frustrating & discouraging things going on in life that keep me from cleaning & organizing. Just thinking about starting on it all gives me intense anxiety each time all of a sudden, so I immediately stop what I'm attempting & go waste time somewhere else...& it all snowballs, which causes even more of those overwhelming feelings... then it perpetuates. Paralyzed is exactly what happens. A lot of my 'clutter' is tons of stuff that I bought to make money with, but I feel I can't even start with that until my areas are organized & thoroughly cleaned. Nice to see when other people "get" it!.
I'm sorry to hear about the challenges you've been facing and the anxiety that comes with trying to start the process of cleaning and organizing. Starting with one small task at a time can help build momentum and confidence. Remember to be kind to yourself and reach out for help when needed. You're not alone in this, and I'm here to support you.
@@AskAngelaBrown 😊🤗❤
Sounds exactly like my life too.
My grandmother had many items marked with white tape with name who she wanted things to go to. We all knew this for years and sometimes made light humor if we looked or picked up something. Unfortunately on the day she passed, a mean spirited daughter-in-law 60 year old went to the house and removed most of the tape tags. Few were missed and given to the grand child or person who's name was still visible. This forced her three son's to go into the home and starting at the oldest choosing an item and keep taking turns. My father only wanted a dining set he admired and had fond memories. Mean spirited aunts husband choose buffet, so next brother choose china cabinet and my father took dining table. Seconds later brother two told my father he could have cabinet as only picked to give it to him. Oldest brother sold the buffet to my father. None of this had to happen if (now ex aunt) had just followed my grandmothers thoughtful gifts she wanted her son's and extended family to have a memory of her. I have a wicker plant box and my brother has a small step stool made by our grandfather who every grandchild sat on which we both adore.
I love that your grandmaother had things marked, but what a big shame that your aunt did that. What a terrible thing to do. Did you even find out why she did that? And shame on the brothers for selling the buffet to your father. Makes me sad when people do things like this. Thank you for watching the video and for sharing your story.
Omg what a horrible person your (Aunt?) is. Awful thing to do.
A similar thing happened in my family. The cousins who lived close went right away and took what they wanted. Those of us who travelled from far away arrived to find out what we knew had our name on it was gone. I got a few things but now as much as grandma wanted me to have.
Stuff like this (plus other worse and dysfunctional things) is very similar to things I've experienced in my own family as well as in families close to me is why I vehemently and adamantly say that *families suck.*
I audibly gasped when I saw what the Aunt did! I’m sorry this happened.
Wow, thank you for this helpful advice. For me it is right on time……..I am moving after my husband died. We were, I am so materially attached to stuff, always was, a war baby. I am 80 and have lived in this house for 60 years. Can you imagine what I am dealing with? You have helped me. I am trying my best. I will get a friend in to encourage me.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Letting go of things that we have an emotional attachment to can be difficult, but we can do it. I'm so glad that the video has been helpful and that you are asking a friend for help and encouragement. Remember that you are not alone in this process. Asking for help like you are doing is perfectly ok. Taking small steps and doing a bit at a time or each day is also ok. You can do it! Sending you virtual hugs. 🤗
OMG! When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. I'm 70 and have been paralyzed since the pandemic. I didn't know professional people acknowledged the condition. I want SO BADLY for my home to be nice, but I just don't know where to begin. I used to go to Clutterers Anonymous but that was long ago in a ginormous city. I just now did a perfunctory dive and checked the meeting finder on the website but looks like the closest group is in another state. I'm in Santa Fe, NM. It's SO DUSTY here and the dirt on top of the clutter has me pretty much on my knees at this point. Im going to binge on these videos tomorrow and hopefully more guidance will come. I'm so ashamed and so tired of living in this visual manifestation of my depressed and anxious and ADD and PTSD being. All guidance greatly appreciated. I haven't been on Facebook for years. Hmm, maybe just for your group. That's all I got for now. THANK YOU SO MUCH! YAY, a baby step! 🙏🏻💙
Hello and thank you for joining me here. Yes, baby steps are awesome. The dust on top of the clutter has me concerned because of the respiratory challenges that can create. And I WANT you to be able to breathe properly. You are not alone in feeling stuck - it is happening to us all - and even with the advent of online shopping, stuff is coming from every direction these days. Yes, please come join our Facebook group. We are a virtual group that can support you in your journey. I'm sending you a big virtual hug. 🤗🤗🤗
facebook.com/groups/hoardingworld
@@AskAngelaBrown You are so kind. Thank you. 💚💚💚
You are an angel for addressing this issue in a compassionate way.
Thank you so much for your kind words!
I totally relate. I am resolved to clear out a storage room full of stuff belonging to my children, grandmother, and aunt. I stalled out when I brought home the dreaded box of buffet plates. It realized if I donated them as planned, I was admitting I will never be the hostesses they were because my apartment reeks of dogs. If I saved them, there was hope of inviting company in, yet they were still in my trunck, waiting to be cleaned. Last week my car was stolen and I no longer have to decide.
Oh wow....sorry to hear that your car got stolen, hope you get it back without the plates. 😉 We all go thru the what if or maybe one day I'll use it or need it. Just be honest with yourself in the future if you ever have another similar situation. Thanks for sharing your story with us.
Bath your dogs weekly or biweekly and buy crib sheets to put over their beds. Wash the sheets weekly. Don't spray any cover up nasty fragrances or plugins. Just open the windows once a day too for fresh air. 🐾🙏
I'm sorry Your car was stolen. My experience has been if I don't make a decision, the universe will make it for me!
@pinschrunner Not to be that person but this can be harmful. Using and washing sheets is a great idea as well as keeping up on any shedding on the floor or furniture. Also, keeping their teeth in good shape.
To OP: Check with your vet or doggroomer to see how often your dogs should be bathed. Weekly or biweekly baths can cause problems.
@@katie7748 no need, I am one. Thanks though and have a blessed weekend.
For quite a while I would go thru whole house every two years pretending we were going to move. This usually matches more or less with major changes in kid growth , or about to take on a new project. This kept stuff thinned out.
However there is always things can't decide ,hesitant to let yo.
I would put these things in ahoxes, label and date the boxes and stick on shelf in basement. A year later whatever was still in the boxes was donated.
So a shelf was 'wasted' with items I couldn't decide about. However it was only a few boxes and it kept mountains from growing to be dealt with 20 years later.
That's a great method you have. Glad that you donated what you didn't use after a year. It seems like you have it under control, good for you! Thanks for sharing this with us and also for watching the video, I appreciate it!
Love that idea. I would look love to be in a tiny house .
Glad to know I’m not the only one who worries about adding stuff to the landfills!! 😊
Thank you for watching! 😀
@askangelabrown This is GENIUS!!! I'm in the worst clutter paralysis of my life. Lost my oldest brother to covid 11/23/21 and still struggling with it. Inherited his land, home & all of his stuff, he'd been buying, buying & buying for the past 7 years, we had no idea. It's been so overwhelming, I have no help, I'm also in the first stages of the caretaker role of my 84 year old mom, who obviously is devastated losing a child. I have no help & am so embarrassed to have anyone even see the mess. Oh AND we're moving to the state he was in cuz the land & home are fully paid off ! I never married or had kids, it was always just me, every day I wake up and it feels like "good morning Lisa, time to climb Mount Everest again today." Not even joking, that's how I feel, I have no help. Would love to just disappear into the night..........
I'm sorry to hear about your loss and the overwhelming situation you're in. It's understandable to feel paralyzed in such a difficult situation. You don't have to go through this alone. Consider reaching out to family, friends, or a professional organizer for help. It's okay to ask for assistance and support during this difficult time. Remember to take things one step at a time and prioritize self-care as well.
I feel for you. My situation was and is different but with alo of the same emotions.
Dear Liza, thank you for Everest. I’m the same shoes. Little bit different situation. I’m foreigner here . Late mom. Lost husband couple years ago. No relatives , no friends . Take care of myself and daughter alone . So when I read about Everest - it’s exactly my feelings every morning. You are not alone in this world so please be strong ,woman !
It's a fall Sunday and I just found you.
My life is a soap opera, therapist's example of every emotional bullet fired at one person.
I'm soon to be 76. Boomer. I was abused by my dad in every way a man can abuse a daughter. I have to grown daughters. My third husband knowingly infected me with HIV.(1987).
I retired in 2013 after a 38 yr career.
I was diagnosed with PTSD in 2019. The depression and anxiety came earlier.
I'm experience so much pain..
But I still work part time.
I'm just happy to know I'm not alone, a freak or mentally ill.
Thanks,
Grandma Skeeter
I'm so glad you reached out and shared your story, Grandma Skeeter. You are not alone, and there's a supportive community out here ready to listen and offer encouragement. You've got this!
You poor dear. I am so sorry that all of these things happened to you. I pray that God will give you a peace beyond all understanding.
Husband passed recently but don’t need to move at this time. Decided to go to a neighbor’s real estate open house. Wanted to see how the house looked being ready for sale. Came away with good insights which I hope to apply.
Sorry for your loss. And it was great that you went to the open house. When you are ready to sell yours you will know what it should look like.
I’m stuck, so it’s so great to be understood! Thank you! You’ve encouraged me today with your tips and advice.
Me too Jane!😊
You are so welcome! I'm so glad the vidoe was helpful. You got this!
I started watching you today. I first watched The tidy woman. The People's comments were so cold. This compassionionate overview of this underlying pain of gathering is so comforting. I'm very overwhelmed, first a permanent disability then a death in Family, followed by dealing with 2 adult children's addictions one entering the federal prison system. In the mix of all this I'm living in a home with 5 People's belongs 2 deceased, 1 going to prison, Grandaughter moved on but has let much of her things here in storage. I definitely never looked at this as paralysis. Makes sense. So much tragedy. Yes shame from the mess. I used to be immaculate & full of energy. This accident took my physical agility. Got to do this
Oh , so true about seniors....When my mom broke her leg in 2012 her roommate was 95 . Apparently, the roommate and her elderly sister lived in a house that caught fire and there was so much furniture that it was hard for them to get out of the house . she was mostly just there for observation (I think the sister was in worse shape ) ....after my mom died I gave away all her walkers -surprising how much room those take up
Oh wow, sorry that happened. Having too much clutter can definitely be a safety hazard. Thank you for sharing your comment and for watching the video, I appreciate it.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. This presented issues in a clear and empathetic manner that for the first tim i didn't feel useless, or evil. I was able tonight to make significant inroads in what ii was doing insteaad of churning in place. Tears flowed.
You're very welcome!❤
I love Angela Brown so much. She's so kind, compassionate, smart and awesome! You should be a therapist! Thank you for all you do.
Wow, thank you for your kind words!
I'm just doing a cleaning project every day that I'm putting off. I worked out if I did it every day I would have 14 tasks done in 2 weeks without really thinking about it. I started cleaning 1 thing in each area. I've done my shower, range hood, decluttered paperwork, decluttered lounge room, change sheets and vacuum mattress. Next will be garden, patio, laundry and study. I will also clean dishwashing and washing machines at the same time. Just 1 task each day or 2. The more you do the more you want to do and keep it tidy and clean.
🙌 Thanks so much. So happy it's working for you and for sharing it here! 😀
I am trying to remind myself what is most vital to keep, if our house was on fire/hurricane/tornado/flood, etc., keep ONLY what I need to survive. Most of our “stuff” can be replaced!
Great point! And a great reminder to oneself. We will only take what we really need. Thanks for sharing your input and for watching the video!
Thank you so much. You have no idea how much I needed this video. Can that be a light at the end of a tunnel that I’m seeing? I pray it is.
I am so happy to have you here. 🤗 Keep us posted on how your journey is going. 😊💞
Thank you for the non-cliche approach to getting down to getting rid of clutter. I don't find joy in practical things that you do have and need. I find joy in things I really don't need to keep. I will never be a minimalist, so, if you are, stop guilting me for wanting a well stocked craft room, etc. I just need to be able to function in my home.
You are not alone when it comes to this. And I'm not trying to make any one feel guilty. I've held on to things that I didn't really need either. So I understand.
I'm with you! One other person that has helped me is Dana K. White. Her videos on TH-cam channel "A Slob Comes Clean have walked me through some of the thinking for creative people like me, how to declutter from that mindset, and with humor.
An introduction:
My name is Lynn Millard, I am a professional organizer for 23 years in South Florida.
I love that you are facilitating these conversations, it is the most important element to making change!
Thank you for your kind words! wishing you much success!
Thank you for the inspiration to move on decluttering. I recently moved and my stuff is still in totes in my RV living room and dining area and it’s overwhelming to me at 74 and with a heart condition. I’m so hoping I can unpack this stuff, go through it and get rid of the items I don’t really need. I don’t even know what is in all these totes! Again I thank you for being out there to inspire us ❤
You're very welcome! I'm so glad that I could be a source of inspiration for you. I understand that decluttering can be overwhelming, especially when you're dealing with health challenges. Take it one step at a time and don't push yourself too hard. It's important to prioritize your health and well-being first. Start with one tote at a time and ask yourself if each item brings value and joy to your life. Remember that letting go of things can also bring a sense of freedom and peace. I wish you all the best on your decluttering journey! ❤
@dorothy allen - I can relate to your story! Some things that have helped me are: 1) GOING VERTICAL WITH STORAGE for unsorted bins and boxes so I have room to move and use my space. I actually have a ceiling-height metal shelving unit in my bedroom right now that's full of boxes from when I downsized my storage unit! Not exactly serene for the bedroom, but I'd rather prioritize keeping the area I spend the most time in peaceful and functionaI (my living room). And I don't have to see the boxes when I'm asleep! ; - D
2) THE ONION METHOD. Taking a first pass just to get rid of items that are EASIEST to let go of (things I obviously don't need or like, trash, recycling, expired items...), then consolidating the remaining stuff in fewer boxes to create more room.
3) TAKING PHOTOS of gifts and sentimental items I don't use so I can keep the memory while letting go of the actual object so it can help someone else. (It really is the thought that counts! : - )
5) Picking an activity I enjoy and do regularly (e.g. watching TV or reading a good book), and making myself sort for just FIVE MINUTES WITH A TIMER beforehand. Sometimes just starting makes things feel less overwhelming, and rewards are sweeter when I feel I've done something to earn them! : - )
4) Reminding myself that clutter has a tendency to taunt with silent to-dos and guilt-trips, and I don't need that kind of negative energy in my own home!
- Clothes that were never quite right, or are a size last wearable decades ago ; - )
- Gifts kept out of obligation that don't actually make me feel good
- Unfinished hobby projects I'm not excited to complete
- Toiletries, cleaning supplies, food items, kitchen gadgets (etc.) I ended up not liking or using
(We can't predict the future, and having some things not work out is just the normal cost of trying new things.)
- Expensive items that didn't work out or are no longer used
(Keeping the item doesn't bring the money back, and selling or donating it to someone who can use it gives you mental and physical space you can use for other things.)
6) Using a note or picture in my sightline while decluttering to REMIND MYSELF OF MY WHY. It could be something like having a friend or family member over, being able to do an activity I don't currently have room for, or my current favorite:
❤❤❤Because my peace of mind is more valuable than stuff, and I deserve to live in a home that makes me feel good!❤❤❤
I'm wishing you good luck, and much happiness in your new home! : - ) Godspeed! ❤
I had just taken a sip of coffee when we got to your "theoretical closet." I nearly sprayed the mouthful of coffee all over my desk laughing! I realize "it is what it is" to make a point and probably wasn't meant to be funny, but what a simpler world this would be if that, and only that, was our wardrobe! I am very much enjoying the video, by the way. Thank you!
Hahaha....so glad to know that you enjoyed the video and that you got a good laugh out of it! Thank you for watching and for your feedback, I appreciate it!
Reading the comments section proves you are helping so many people. Thank you for helping me see my paralysis with a helpful explanation and no shame. I’m restoring my house and don’t have the money to finish. A little at a time an we really can do it people. You really can. Don’t give up, just baby steps. Good luck!
Yes! A little can go a long way!!!
Only recently I have made the connection between the emotions I have experienced over the last 3-4 years and the increase of clutter in my 900 sq ft condo. It was never like this in all the 16 years I’ve lived here. I have spurts of clarity and focus and am able to donate or throw away the things I’m hanging on to and notice the days I am able to accomplish that, are days I feel emotionally good.
Recognizing the correlation between your emotions and the increase in clutter in your condo is an important insight. On the days you feel emotionally good, you're able to declutter and let go of things more easily. This suggests that decluttering has a positive impact on your overall well-being. Use these moments of clarity and focus to create a decluttering routine, dedicating specific times to tackle the clutter. Additionally, consider addressing the underlying emotions that contribute to the clutter and explore ways to manage them. By addressing both the emotional and physical aspects, you can create a more harmonious living environment that supports your well-being. Sending you positive thoughts, hugs and prayers. You got this! 😊🤗🙏
Years ago, a friend wanted me to attend a parenting seminar so she didn't have to go alone. Some of the best advice I ever received was when the presenter brought up confusing communication between parents & small children. As an example he used teaching how to tidy his/her rooom.
#1: clean the child's room WITH them & talk about the advantages of having a tidy space & disadvantages of cluttered space
#2: take a picture
#3: when the child cleans his/her room get the picture out and compare it with the state of the room
4. Each season (spring, summer, fall, winter) go through the room with the child again. Donate, store, or trash items that no longer have a place
Thank you for sharing! 😃
I was just watching you on TH-cam, awhile after your live video. I enjoyed it so much, that I got up after and cleaned my spare room, which I call my junk room. It looked more like a hoarders room. Thank you so much, you gave me the motivation/ the push I really needed. And after many years of procrastination, it didn't even take that long and goodwill will be getting a car load ❤❤❤
Yay! You are so welcome!
I really needed to hear this. My elderly parent is not doing so well, my other parent has been gone..it is only a matter of time before we have to break down our childhood home. The house has been lived in for almost 60 years. I need to get my head in the right frame of mind to not relocate their house to my way too small home. I watch hoarding shows and so often the bottom line is, this was my childhood home and I trashed it I created this because of grief. I don't want to trash my home. My sister will help but we are already butting heads because her husband is already trying to grab everything.
During this difficult time, it's important to approach the situation practically and consider what is realistic in terms of space and storage. Communicating openly with your sister and her husband about your concerns and coming up with a plan that works for everyone involved can also be helpful.
Let them have the stuff but you should request that you want 1 or 2 special things to you. You’ll have what matters & peace of mind…because you didnt own the stuff before anyway, right? I know it’s easier to say than to do.
Your post was rich with wisdom and guidance, giving real hope. What makes me love you like a sister is that through this entire hour, there was not the slightest tinge of judgement. For some of us that nonjudgmental instruction is so precious and rare. Thank you and God bless you.❤️
☺💞 Wow, I am humbled, thank you so much for your kind words!
Being a 66yr old Nana raising 3 teen grandkids for the last 14yrs.
My home is crumbling around me❗️
Coming from a Sr property manager and very organized I am so ashamed and with some physical and mental health issues❗️So it just builds up❗️Thank you Angela 🌺
Thank you so much!
I'm glad I came across this video and will be sharing it. I Live in a small apartment about 650 Sq feet and there is a patio, I live alone with my 2 small dog's. I have collected and it's bothering me now, like I can get around in my place but I'm not liking what I see.
I'm glad you found the video helpful and I want to thank you ahead of time for willing to share it. Living in a small apartment with clutter can be bothersome, but there are ways to address it. Start by tackling one area at a time and declutter ruthlessly, keeping only what you truly need or love. Maximize storage with space-saving solutions and create designated spaces for different items. Embrace a minimalist mindset and establish a regular cleaning routine to prevent clutter from building up. Remember, it's an ongoing process, so be patient and enjoy the satisfaction of creating a more organized and enjoyable living space for you and your dogs. You got this!
My note to a woman that felt shame due to cluttered home. So sorry that you're in this situation. I got there because of loneliness. Do you go to church? Perhaps someone there could help ? Or, would be willing to trade hours with you. I posted an ad in a local grocery store trading hours. I made it a point to do my hours first, so I could get to know the person a bit first. I gave 4 hours 3 times before asking a person to come to my home. It worked out so well, and I didn't feel judged. It also made me feel less lonely.
Thank you for your understanding and advice. I appreciate your suggestion of finding someone to trade hours with or seek help from. Your experience with trading hours and forming a connection before asking for assistance is inspiring. Your story reminds me that there's support available in difficult times, and I'm grateful for your kindness. Wishing you all the best on your journey, and may you continue to find comfort and companionship.
Your explanation of the psychological connections is “spot on”. I watched the effects of Covid protocols and how the isolation changed how people dress, eat, clean and maintain materials at home. Children were out of school and had online learning set up at home and created more clutter. Many of us are the generation that is dealing with parent’s possessions and have to deal with the emotional connections. Your video is so healing and filled with positive steps to help us reach our goals. Thank you for your compassion ❤
Thank you for watching and for your words of encouragement. I appreciate you. 🙏
My angels put you in my path tonight. Thank you for your guidance and encouragement, but mostly for letting me know I'm not the only one.
I'm glad that I could be of help to you. It's important to remember that you're not alone, and there are many people who struggle with similar challenges. Sending hugs. 🤗
This is excellent! I'll watch for tips!
Glad to be helpful! Thank you!
This is cool I was a professional house cleaner for 12 years and now I am the person suffering from clutter paralysis and now today I’ve happened onto your video here! And I am like “ oh my gosh do I need to listen to this lady”!! Lol thank you for posting this video!
Thank you for your comment! It's great to hear that you found the video helpful and relatable. Clutter paralysis can be challenging, but with the right guidance and tips, you can overcome it. Remember to take it one step at a time, decluttering and organizing in small increments. And don't hesitate to seek support from loved ones, friends or from resources like this video or other professionals in the field. Best of luck on your decluttering journey!
I started listening to this when I was in bed getting ready to sleep. I was inspired to get back up again and start tidying up immediately. 😂
Hahaha...that's great! But I hope that you got enough hours of sleep. Thanks for tuning in to the show, I appreciate it!
THANK YOU so much for this video. I have been having trouble letting go of my late fiancee's things....It absolutely triggers my PTSD. I am going to begin now. Thank you again.
You're welcome! Letting go of sentimental items tied to the loss of a loved one can be incredibly challenging, especially when it triggers PTSD. Take things at your own pace and surround yourself with supportive people who understand your journey. Remember that releasing physical items doesn't diminish the memories or love you shared. It's about finding a balance to honor your late fiancee's memory while creating space for healing and moving forward. You're taking a brave step, and I believe in your strength. If you need someone to talk to or seek guidance from, don't hesitate to reach out. You're not alone. Take care and best of luck as you move forward. Sending you positive vibes, strength, prayers and hugs. 🙏🤗
🤗We have a private group facebook.com/groups/hoardingworld where we are working through some of these clutter issues daily. Everyone at varying levels of clutter and disorganization is welcome. Come over and pick up some tips, make some friends, and let us work through this together. You are not alone in this crazy adventure. NOTE: The clutter shows from this channel have been moved over to youtube.com/@hoardingworld - come join us there where we can focus on finding a balance with our stuff.
Is there an alternative to Facebook alternative?
Angela , I am totally on board with you. I am a natural cleaner. I enjoy cleaning but
lack a system. Where can I learn from you. I also want to gain business sense! Please inform me. Eager and so so ready!!
Hi Angela. This is my favorite hobby. You are great. I've been at organizing for 40 years for myself and others. I believe it starts with a mindset "who am I at this stage? And do these things help or hinder me?" Thank you for what you do!
I met a new neighbor who had the same color scheme and theme as my deceased mother. I happily gave her all but one or two items-- and permission to do what she wanted with anything she didn't want anymore. I had enough memorabilia; I didn't need all of it.
It's great that you found a new neighbor who shares your late mother's color scheme and theme.
And nice of you to give her most of the memorabilia. Sharing these belongings allows others to appreciate and cherish them while honoring your mother's memory. Your generosity and ability to create new connections are truly admirable. Wishing you ongoing healing and the comfort of knowing your mother's legacy lives on.
My 'reward' for once again decluttering and deep cleaning a small but hellish kitchen of a social housing flat (the rest of the flat is still an absolute shambles that I don't have the energy or capacity to even look at to the point I'm still sat on my one little swivel chair in the kitchen and these seemingly basic tasks well it took me all day and I'm still not quite finished and I'm in a lot of pain with my chronic illnesses) is watching another motivational video from this Queen of Clean! I so wish I wasn't still stuck in this situation but I'm proud of my determination and I'm glad I am not the only one who struggles! I do still have the hope that one day I will be the type of woman who always lives in pristine tidiness, cleanliness and godliness but until then I am continuing to try my best to survive!
Keep pushing forward, and know that you're not alone in your journey towards a cleaner and more comfortable living space. You're doing your best, and that's something to be proud of!
I’ve only watched the first five minutes so far but I want to say a couple things … I’m SO VERY thankful that I found this channel and How it happened for me is things sat around that I did not know what to do with than daily living needed that space so one by one things got stacked on top of other things and they progressively became more dirty than just clutter and before I knew it my home was out of control.
Yeah. Same thing
I'm grateful that you found my channel and that it resonates with your own experiences. It's not uncommon for clutter to accumulate over time, especially when we're unsure of how to deal with certain items. The gradual stacking and accumulation can lead to not only clutter but also a sense of being overwhelmed and losing control of our living spaces.
Recognizing the situation is an important first step towards regaining control. By acknowledging the clutter and the impact it has on your home, you're already on the path to making positive changes. Remember, it's never too late to start decluttering and organizing. Take it one step at a time, focusing on small areas or categories, and gradually work towards reclaiming your space.
I'm here to support you throughout your journey, and I'm glad that my channel can provide guidance and motivation. Remember, you have the power to create a space that feels clean, organized, and peaceful. Keep going, and don't hesitate to reach out if you need any specific tips or advice along the way.
Angela, your videos have helped me so much !!. I am a cancer survivor 3 times. I started to watch your videos when I was really in a frozen state .. I was going through radiation . To take care of myself was all I could do because of brain fog and severe fatigue. I will cry alone or look hopeless at piles of laundry. Doing simple dishes was overwhelming..I remembered watching a video where you said to take care of yourself first !. It is a simple statement, but You made me feel understood and that it was okay to take care of my health first and not feel bad that just the simple task were very hard to do. I couldn't even think of making decisions when I had to decide on keeping something or throwing it away . I took care of trash and personal care and my bed to rest after therapies. To the world, I learned to mask my frustrations very well. No one comes to my home because I am still dealing with piles of medical records I have to sort out to make claims. However, I am working on this cleaning process slowly , but sure because now I have to work hard to pay those bills and to keep my apartment. I just want to say that anyone out there with a medical condition that is chronic and drains your energy please,
Take care of yourself first!! You are so valuable, and you truly matter. I got better, I am beating cancer, and I have learned that enjoying life is the most valuable and precious experience. please, try to find out when you have the best energy during the day or night and do little at the time. I can't think at 6 pm after work so I give permission to relax and go to bed earlier. I wake up fresh at 5 30 am and do stuff at that time until 8 am. that I start to work. Find your energy cycle .Now, I am feeling much stronger, and with a clear mind, I am a better declutter . You matter, and clutter does not define you as a human. It is the time you spend with love one's and enjoying with others and your passion that's makes who you are !! Angela,I can't thank you enough!! You have been my best therapist 😊❤!! Sending ❤ and greetings from Fort Lauderdale, FL😊
Thank you so much!❤
I was clearing my kitchen counter Again this morning when your video came up on my phone. Thank you. I have called to have another Diabetes pick up and was able to get more accomplished than I have for a long time. Clothes books, and kitchen items too.
That's wonderful to hear! I'm so glad that my video was able to provide some motivation and inspiration for you. Donating items to a Diabetes pick up is a great way to declutter and help a good cause at the same time. Keep up the great work!
I just want to say just by listening to you for the first time, I was able to get rid of so many things. Thanks. Just to let go without feeling guilt.
Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm truly glad to hear that just by listening to me, you were able to let go of so many things, without feeling guilt. This is awesome...keep it up!
I finally had a yard sale. I liked the little bit of money better than the stuff. What didn't sell was boxed and bagged, left on the porch to be picked up by the local thrift store. I didn't bring it back into the house and we took a tax write off for it. People were looking for things they needed and either didn't want to pay full price for or couldn't afford to pay full price for. The things I have stacked up in my house unused, are things other people may need and I was happy with my less cluttered space. It was encouraging to me to see less clutter. This video is a reminder that I need to do that again. We have a local 'free for all' page and I've been putting things on there. I leave things on the porch and the person that asked for it comes and gets it.
We also have a barter page to trade for things we need. I have this and I'm looking for this. Someone usually responds.
Woot, Woot!! Good for you!! Keep up the great work!
You are so incredibly empowering, compassionate and encouraging. I wish I had the words to tell you how thankful I am for your videos, and this one in particular. The pain and the paralysis and the constant soul-sucking struggle is so very real. Not only do I struggle with these things myself, but also have the added responsibility (i.e. panic, anxiety, constant worry and stress) of trying to teach my own children how to do all of the things I never learned how to do. I am completely resolved and committed to breaking the generational cycles of trauma that have contributed to these issues, but having this kind of non-judgmental, compassionate, gentle “how-to” guide is exactly what I have so desperately needed. Obviously I am not the only one who is in need of this guidance and encouragement; so THANK YOU for sharing your calling with the world and with all of us. From the bottom of my heart and from my family, kids, and (hopefully) future kids and grandkids- THANK YOU 🙏🏼 🫶
Thank you for your kind words, and I'm glad that my videos have been helpful for you. It takes a lot of courage to confront and break the cycles of trauma and struggle that can be passed down through generations, and I commend you for your commitment to doing so. Remember that it's a journey, and progress comes in small steps. Be kind to yourself and your children throughout the process, and don't hesitate to reach out for help when needed. I'm here to support you, and I wish you and your family all the best.
My sister passed unexpectedly (tragically at 40 years old) in December 2022 and I have all of her stuff. At first it was comforting now it feels overwhelming because to donate or even throw away a grocery list in her handwriting (and there are A LOT of these) feels like a betrayal or an abandonment of her. I am a sentimental keeper of stuff to begin with, as well as a lover of vintage so I already had lots of stuff that I “ have plans for”. Also stored in my home is another sister’s stuff from when she lived with us pre-pandemic because she is not in stable housing. I have 3 kids and a husband that don’t seems affected by clutter but it drives me crazy, however I recognize that I am the one being in and/or keeping the stuff that the clutter is made of. To top off I have adhd and trauma issues that make processing items feel emotionally insurmountable as well as logistically difficult. Thank you for making these video and shining a light on this, I guess I didn’t consider others might be dealing with this too ❤
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. 💙You are right, you are not alone. Thank you for joining the conversation. 😊
I know different things help different people. My fiancé and little brother both passed away unexpectedly. What I started to do was take pictures of things. I can still see their handwriting, etc but I don’t have all the extra stuff around. But I also didn’t rush myself…. hope this helps. So sorry for your loss.
I love your smile when you get excited 😊
Aww, thanks! You are too kind! 😊🤗
I was told, after my husband died, to not make big/emotional decisions for one year. That was very good advise.
It is, thank you for sharing it! Making decisions after a loss and dealing with emotions can sometimes lead to making a bad/wrong choice. Hope you are sell, sending hugs. 🤗
This is SO VERY GOOD!!!! About seven years ago I met someone who was taking care of my dying sister-in-law, and we connected on the reseller level. We became good friends, Next thing I knew we were thrifting often and bringing home large quantities of things to resell. It was/is more than I can sell before I die (I'm 72) unless I come up with a good plan to sell it in bulk!! I'm not ready to call the "got junk" people but sure need help!!
Thank you for your enthusiastic feedback! It's amazing how a connection with someone caring for your sister-in-law led to a shared love for reselling. With the large quantity of items you've accumulated, finding a plan to sell them all may seem overwhelming. Consider reaching out to reseller communities or online platforms specializing in bulk sales to connect with interested buyers. Local flea markets, consignment shops, or antique dealers might also be interested in purchasing your inventory in bulk. Hosting a yard sale or online auction can attract buyers seeking a variety of items. Don't hesitate to seek assistance from friends, family, or local reselling communities, or even a church group for guidance and support. Best of luck with your reselling journey, and never stop pursuing your passions!
I can sympathise with
folk in that " paralysed"
state ! I've had a lifetime
of hoping for the best , but
getting the worst ! 😢.
Huge amounts of heavy
manual work, too many
moves, no help ref' home
& garden maintenance :
result : chronic stress,
( recognised by 4
separate medics),
cancer, and crippling
arthritis , plus waning
strength due to age !
Everything takes SO
LONG to do , is exhausting,
so that tackling muddle
keeps getting put on
hold...😢..Hate it ! 😠.
A kind of relief to see
others are in a similar state...
Not " hoarding " , as we
see on t.v. programmes,
where the sufferer climbs
over piles of stuff !
Just loads of papers ,
presents, journals, books,
clothes ( make do and mend),
tools, craft / art projects...everything
has a story....trying hard, and
AM making tiny bits of progress ..
but it's all SO SLOW ! 😢
Age and disability make
it 10 times harder....😢
With no help ,
you " lose heart "...😢 .
Good luck to all who
feel like this ! xx🦉😊.
🇬🇧😢🦉🤔🌹😊🥀🇬🇧
I am sorry for what you have been going through and no, you are not alone. I love your positive attitude! 💞 Thank you so much for being here. 🙂