@@AskAngelaBrown Dear, for how many years and decades go for walks , not get treatment but abuse, and not have one's life? I hate your talk because true, and I can't do it anymore.And there are many others who need help, but didn't take my help on and now I am too exhausted+ depressed to. I am so tired I don't really care much what happens top my body if I die early soon, and even less to keep clean. I have more than enough to work re-summoning the daily motivation to live and summon energy to get up and cook my dustbin vegs for breakfast, eating alone with stress-broken teeth, dreary chewing alone, without anything hopeful meaningful waiting, except going on the endless resultless strain of writing to get my property back and get the personal assistence promised and needed. Struggling just to make food 3 x/day (often manage just 1), go outdoors in the sunlight (often manage just a short tooth-brushing walk before bed in the small hours), excercising (manage 1 a month), getting to bed early for health (manage half-early 1 a month). If anyone who knows my fate, biography and situation can give a valid reason I can resonate with to go on this time-wasting, resultless struggle against infinitely cruel authority mistreatment (killing me), you get my Nobel prize. I am sure there is a solution for every problem, and I am creative and positive. But my whole state/situation is too complex + long to solve without supporting dialogue with another. Which every successful person has anyway. but knowing myself, I shall do what I can anyway, and practise letting go of doing in my own power.
I’m crying. I haven’t cleaned my room and bathroom for a year. Update: a day later. I have managed to clean my room which took me 8 hours as I kept having breakdowns. I feel so proud of myself that I have a clear clean bedroom 🥺❤️ A YEAR LATER: I have now dedicated to have cleaning days every Thursdays and Sundays. I am in a much better place. If you’re struggling pls know it gets better, take it one step at a time I promise you the feeling is amazing A YEAR HALF LATER: I never expected so much love here 🥹❤️ I still have my moments as I suffer with depression and anxiety, PTSD. Cleaning no longer feels like a chore, I do take my time and do bit by bit, sometimes il leave it for the next day.. But reading back everyone’s comments gives me hope. We will ALL sometimes be in a dark place in life whether be loss or MENTAL health.. just know it does get better it takes time but believe in YOU. I hope you feel some ease when you read this, rooting for you all. Sending lots of hugs & prayers ❤️
YES! I am also very impressed with this video! I do not know what I was expecting by clicking this, but being deeply understood was not one of them. You totally nailed the reasons. Also I found that you gave the best advice how to remedy the situation which you could have given. It is simple enough to follow through and in depression you need simple solutions! Thank you so much! This video will help so many people!!!
Could not diagree more, and have worked in psychiatry. After my second stillbirth, I was flooded with advice to walk, walk, walk. I did, to the point that it helped drop (along with lack of appetite) my weight to anorexic levels). It did nothing else. When I said this, people just though I wasn't doing it enough, and it became a riciulous burden and a point for vicitme -blaming (still sad, must not be walking enough!). Walking MIGHT help SOME people but to present it as a revolutionary cure-all without these necessary qualifiers does true harm.
Vidalion I’m so sorry for your loss and the hurt you went through. Walking does help with all the reasons mentioned in the video. However, you’re right. Our bodies need physical rest during depressive states and grief. I’m sorry you felt pushed to do something that wasn’t helpful for you. Your story is valid. I sincerely hope that you are feeling better. I can’t imagine the pain you went/are going through. Thank you for sharing your story.
People underestimate how much energy depression steals from you. This also applies to the functionally depressed. You may have enough energy to go to work and for a walk, but you may not have enough energy to do anything else. Depression manifests as fatigue, memory loss and physical pain in many people!
Memory loss can be a symptom of deppression?This is the first I've heard of this and i identified fully with it...I've been having a lot of short term memory loss lately (long term over the years)...I never connected it to my depression though....
I know I’m not “lazy”, I enjoy being productive and a job well done. I actually don’t like being “lazy”. But it looks like I’m lazy to see my space...the feeling of fatigue has robbed me of my life.
Yes this is what I have and I have ptsd, anxiety and insomnia. It’s just the surface but I don’t look depressed, or sleep much and I have a good day here and there.
I am so ashamed. My house is disgusting. I am scared to leave my home. Something happened at some point and I just broke. And I am spiraling. I know, I KNOW, that having a clean home would make me feel better, make me proud. Thank you for this.
I've never heard that because people think that their centers that they're not good enough to have a clean house. That's a really strange interpretation of Christianity
You can do it girl. Hugs! I’ve been using hypnosis to help get me out of bed or to do the dishes. I’m also using hypnosis for the guilt and depression! It’s helping. It really is.
Teela Tequila th-cam.com/video/1zgWtYkv6iU/w-d-xo.html I use this one a lot when I need energy. It’s good to imagine yourself how you want to be and embody that. I’ll link more here
Teela Tequila th-cam.com/video/BkIBG8Esmbk/w-d-xo.html I found following along with this tapping helpful as well! Going to link some sleep meditations for depression as well. The first two I use to get me up and motivated.
Thank you for this...I just had an infestation of fruit flies because I never wanted to take my garbage out and some rotting food in there was attracting them. Today I took out the garbage and cleaned the inside of the can after I got home from grocery shopping. I’m exhausted. But I did something, and doing something is better than doing nothing.
Yes, that's more than I could do today! 😊 But tomorrow I will try the trash, because You could do it today, perhaps I can do it tomorrow too 😊😊😊 Life is full of little miracles!!! It also teaches me to enjoy the little victories in life...like bringing the trash out!!!
TheChemist - I have that same problem, as I am typing this, there is garbage with fruit flies that needs taking out. My little dog is jumping on me to get me to take her out (it’s 3:30am and I am still awake) so, I will put my kitchen garbage in a bag and take the dog (and the garbage) out for a walk to the apartment dumpster. You and this video have inspired me to start and do one task a day. Tomorrow will bee the dishes. My house is beyond messy - it is quite disgusting in a few ways. Anyway, one step at a time. I think maybe making the tape of me saying positive thoughts would be worth a try. Hang in there “Chemist”. You ARE worthy of living in a clean home . . . . . me, too. ❤️
True, but after a while you have to realize that if you're not going to do yourself in, you need to clean up. I always feel much better when my house is clean and tidy. Keeping it clean is much easier than letting it build for weeks and the cleaning is much harder.
@@tubester4567 exactly, I still have awful depressive states but a few years ago I told myself: you've been depressed for 20 years and haven't decided to end it all, you might as well try and do something good for yourself, go to a doctor, clean the house - you can still end it if feel like it, but maybe doing those things will make you want to stay alive.
@@Mia199603 I wish I knew how to convey this to depressed friends. Doing the same things haven't made them happy in the decade+ that I've known them, so why not try doing something new? At worst, you're back where you started, but it could also shake you out of the depression. It's worth giving it a few days or a few tries. I feel like I'd be a jerk though saying it.
You've got way more empathy that my doc did when I spoke to him about my depression. The house I'm in has been neglected since I was 12, I'm 22 and yesterday I fully cleaned my kitchen. Today, I'm working on the dining room. Thank you so much for this video, and I hope you're doing well ❤️
👏👏👏 I am so proud of you and your clean kitchen. Thank you for watching and for taking the time to reach out. I'm sending you a big virtual hug 🤗 and I'm doing a happy dance for your progress. 💃💃💃💃💃
@@malissakirby4193This reminds me of my doctor, except for me it is my weight struggles. I wanted a referral for a nutritionist or dietician. Instead he brushed me off and said indifferently 'Just cut back on 25% of what you eat'. Thanks Doc. 🙄🙄🙄 It's so frustrating, as well as disheartening, when even someone in the medical profession is indifferent to one's struggles!
Gonna chime in as another house cleaner. I sometimes hear customers apologising to me for how dirty or messy their homes are. Ironically, those are the homes I most enjoy cleaning, those are the homes I got this job for. The truly worst customers are the prestige customers, those that do not need a cleaning service but they get one anyway just so the neighbours will see one of our company cars on the driveway. The prestige customers doesn't actually need my help cleaning, I'm just spending time there looking for the dust bunnies they missed when they pre-cleaned. I'd much rather be cleaning for someone who genuinely needs my help, where I can see that my work made a difference.
Yes, I used to clean houses part time when I was going to college. I felt what you said to my core. I also understand the other side. I've been recovering from severe depression for over 30 yrs. Some days it's still difficult to clean my own home. Some of the most generous people (even if they gave me extra things like food or small furniture, or an extra $20 for holidays) were those who genuinely needed my help. The people who could afford the most haggled with me the most. I had to let it go because it was too much work for too little money.
My grandpa gets free cleaning service because he's a veteran and he's 91 years old but he doesn't want anyone to see his home dirty (even if it never actually is very dirty) so he always cleans it before the cleaner comes.... I bet the cleaners think his house is very boring to clean and they must feel like their work is not important or needed there
I finally hired someone to come in and help me with cleaning because I couldn’t do it all myself. It was a huge decision on many levels, especially because my husband was not happy having someone else in out personal space. She was amazing and it was so helpful, she was kind, did more than I asked, I felt better and it allowed me to start working on the bigger projects I never had time to tackle like purging the years of accumulated crap. My husband was thrilled with the progress and her help, until we realized she had stolen something really important from us and had to involve the sheriff. We were so disappointed, she never called to deny or apologize or offer to return the item and I know my husband will most likely never allow anyone to come in to help again. I was devastated, I had checked her references but not done a background check which was my fault and she had a history. It’s put the depressed into a tailspin. Our place is presentable but it’s not right and the stuff piles up because having to account for more than yourself isn’t so easy. If I ever do this again it will be a service, but they don’t always do what I need done (no high spots, not the detail I needed cause I can do the quick clean I need the picky stuff, no consistency) so for now I’m back to getting by. Thanks for understanding us. I’m working on getting out of the house to walk or do errands and figure out how to not sleep all day and be up all night. You are kind people.
How many of us found this video surprisingly refreshing because of a lifetime of "suck it up, buttercup" as the "cure" for depression? This is a welcome change. Thank you.
The “just get over it” mentality is from the 1950’s. Don’t want anyone’s mental heath issues dampening the “everything is prosperous and completely fine” societal mentality.
Yes! That "suck it up buttercup" mentality is one of the things that feeds the shame, which feeds the depression! Being much more gentle with yourself and actually taking care of yourself is the answer.
From a person who used to enjoy cleaning.... it’s not fun anymore. Nothing has been fun for a few years but this video really makes me feel peace and excellent advice. Simple tips and easy to maintain.... it helps when someone like this understands the emotions behind what she says. I like this video and like how I feel after I listen to it without shame then I can find a little motivation to want the best for myself. Some things really kicked my ass, emotionally in life. I can’t just be in survival mode..... something isn’t working but I do try to walk. I try to eat healthy- but I do make time to do a small task daily. It’s weird to want the best for myself and yet NOT having energy or motivation after wanting the best for everyone else for work... anyways... I’m really happy for this video with someone who isn’t saying” you’re not alone, you’re not the only one”- I know I am not the only one but I believe we are all unique and I believe there is a lot of love and support out here.
One of my fears with struggling with depression & having a messy house is dying & having someone else having to clean up my mess...I managed to scrub my toilet & sink the other day & take out my trash & washed a load of clothes...baby steps & one day at a time
I was actually thinking about doing a load of laundry today. Didn't have enough time to do it,but atleast I had the thought I wasn't even thinking about doing a load of laundry a few weeks ago.
I have that same fear. I’m so happy I’m not the only one that thinks that!! I use it as my motivation to clean the bathrooms etc during the week. I tell myself “ok you know you have to leave the house Friday and go to the bank then get groceries so if you get hurt or die then you know that mommie and the aunts will be coming in this house and you KNOW what they will say and the look of disgust on their face. That will be the last memory they have of you, how will your soul be at peace if they have THAT memory of you? You need to get this done so if anything does happen on Friday then nobody will know you are a dirty bird.” It does help me, I make a list of chores and do some each day so when I leave my house on Friday it is in decent condition. I’m proud you are taking baby steps and I wish you the best of luck. I’m sending positive vibes, love and happiness your way.
I have the exact same fear and I tend to get panic attacks at night where I feel like I'm dying (though I'm not) and instead of trying to calm myself down I start cleaning because I'm so so afraid of my family and friends seeing how I live and for some reason this makes me even more afraid than dying
@@keyanna2633 that's a step...i was suppose to wash a load of clothes today but all i did was lay in the bed until it was time to go to work...those clothes will be waiting for me when i go home because i literally have nothing to wear to work this week...guess i'll have to make that trip down into the basement after all...how symbolic...i hope you managed to wash those clothes by now
I came here to say just that! Thank you for making this video for us. Im from a religious background and was damn near traumatized around cleanliness as a kid. Ive been trying to make sense of all this...and you just did. 🙏🏾
@@christiane6818 it IS really hard. Every day I think I'm gonna attack my house and every day I'm lucky to get dishes or laundry done :( the mess makes the anxiety and depression SO MUCH WORSE.
Same... I've been trying to clean my space for the past two months and while sometimes I'd have sporatic energy and it's be easy to do, i haven't felt the same lately and it's almost daunting especially as thing pile up... Just the video i needed.....
I swear the camera's in my house have just been watching me attempt to clean, pick up 3 things then lay in bed and watch youtube.... Guess they figured i could do both... X)
It's on my radar every day, but it seems overwhelming. I live alone, so their is no one around to say hey let's clean this up, etc. I manage to do some of it, but then other things don't get done at all.
You just preached a whole sermon without even realizing. Thank you I needed this, not just for the cleaning. The motivation, the step by step approach can be applied to whatever depression is keeping you from achieving. I needed this SO BAD today. Thank you thank you thank you.
When I heard “don’t worry about cleaning the house while you’re depressed”, I thought the next “advice” would be to hire the cleaning service that she spoke about. I was quite happy to hear the actual advice, the actual steps that she laid out, including to get out of the house and take a brisk walk.
My mom always told me. "the way it looks at your home, the same way it looks in your head. So clean it up and you'll feel much better" Now at this point, everytime I feel depressed and bad I clean my rooms so that I feel better. And it actually works! Thanks for that mum❤️
MrsEvijustme: You're lucky that you can motivate yourself that way...I look at what needs doing and want to do it but an hour later it still isn't done. I'm like the tv commercial..."there you are with your depression and your laundry that you have No interest in doing!" I want chores done but I just look at them. 🙁
@@pamh.5705 I'm so often the same. My way does not work everytime. Of course it doesn't 😅 but I am willing to do the best I can and at some point I'm so frustrated of the way my apartment looks like, that I want to clean it so bad🙈
MrsEvijustme Fab advice from your mom. I’ve noticed that I keep the parts people see fine but spare room and particularly my bedroom becomes messy when I’m feeling down, it represents my emotions at that time. I hate sleeping in a messy bedroom it’s not restful yet I still mess it up sometimes.
@MrsEvijustme - Your mom was right. The state of my living space is one of the ways I measure how badly out of whack my brain is. If the things are piling up and there's real dirt and grime and stuff accumulating, it's a tell-tale sign depression is flaring up again.
Bruh this is so helpful. I love how she doesn't talk down about depressed people not being able to do basic tasks. She explains why it's hard and then tells you how to overcome it. Super helpful
That's why I almost started crying. My eldest siblings call me a lazy, spoilt brat but my medical records say otherwise. 😑 It's overwhelming that a complete stranger (whose cool, might I add) understands me more than my siblings, without even have met or seen me. This lovely lady, must've studied psychology for sure. Or.. "Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's mabeline!" 😹
You've got this! Just lean on Jesus to give you the strength you need. He will never leave you or forsake you even if you feel weak or depressed. ❤ Your life is so precious.
As a chronically depressed person going for a walk everyday does help. I use a cleaning service to help me keep my house clean and don’t feel any guilt about it. I deserve a nice clean home.
Kylie Smith It tbh is something of a blessing not to be able to afford it. Just start with one small thing. Listen to Jordan Peterson’s advice re: cleaning, that’s how I bounced back from just letting things collect. I’m not a neat freak, but I was able to turn around that habit thanks to him. He is a lot better than this lady, who seems to just be trying to sell the idea of hiring cleaners.
@@fatuusdottore Jordan Peterson hurts trans people and hates women. He sews hatred for immigrants and women. Fascists and xenophobes on the internet are obsessed with him. I know there are good people who got sucked into Peterson's rhetoric with his cloying and over repeated mildly Christian self help rhetoric, but to quote this man that has harmed so many people, and sheltered so many bigots and fascists, is misguided. So no, don't listen to him. Instead on TH-cam search: "Contrapoints Jordan Peterson"
@Kathryn P thanks for confirming it works for you and despite what other comments may say there is nothing wrong with using a "crutch" as long as it helps you walk again. Oooh how deep!😂 Love, Another Kathryn P
i thought i was just lazy. i’ve had depression and anxiety for years. thank you so much for changing my perspective on this. I feel it’ll help me to stop putting myself down
I love how respectful you are when talking about depression. Most would quickly judge and call someone lazy instead of understanding. Living day to day with depression is really difficult.
@Angela Brown Cleaning hello Angela, I love you and your videos. I have my own business and depression, when depression hits, I have to reschedule my clients and potentially new clients, it makes me look bad and I feel horrible doing this. I can't tell them what's really going on. I know you're not a therapist but as a professional cleaner how can I go about this in a better way? What really depresses me is how some potential clients treat me and talk to me, I've learned to say thank you, walk out and not take them on as my clients. How would you go about this? Honestly, I don't know where these people are coming from talking down to me, telling me that's too much, my old cleaner only charged me so much, I finally tell them, I'm not them, I'm licensed, Bonded and Insured and I pay taxes, I'm professional about it but when I go home, I start to cry, people can be so cruel and mean. I never treat anyone this way yet they disrespect me. Please HELP!😔🙏
@@bairesgurl Hi Annie. I used to have a small business before I became disabled. I speak from experience. As you said, you are licensed, bonded and paying taxes. Maybe try working for more affluent clients. Also, tell your satisfied clients you would be happy if they made recommendations to others for your services. You are right to walk away and cry in private. But know your worth and clients will come. Keep your chin up and know your worth. Disrespectful=ignorant! People with dignity and class do not speak down to others. Be the best at what you do and work with a smile for those who appreciate your help. Best wishes to you. 🕊🙏🌹 BTW, you could tell new clients that you have a sick relative that sometimes requires your help unexpectedly & you may need to reschedule from time to time. I consider the trio of me/myself/& I quite the trio that I need to take care of. They don't need to know that you are the sick relative. Remember, depression is an illness just like diabetes or heart disease. It is treatable but sometimes sidelines us by surprise.
One tip I can give for depressed people is recognizing that starting is the hardest part. I moved to a RV with a tiny sink, tiny water heater and no dish washer. There are 4 of us to cook and clean for. Just keeping up while depressed seemed impossible. One thing I did to break out of it is to promise myself I would wash one single dish in the morning. Sometimes I would choose the biggest pan, sometimes it would just be a bowl so that I could have it ready for my next bowl of cereal. But what I found is that many times I caught myself saying, “Ok, I’ll just do a couple more now that my hands are wet.” But setting a tiny miniature goal was what worked for me. Same thing with the laundry. I got overwhelmed with piles of laundry and a tiny washer/dryer. But even when I had a house and full size set, folding and putting away never seemed to happen, because depression will make you unwilling to do more than ‘just enough’ to get by. I promised myself that I would simply wash/dry/fold one set of clothes for the family ahead of time, so that it would be put away where they could get it for themselves when they needed it. I started just trying to make sure there was one clean towel ready for shower or dishes. I just wanted to know what it was like to have supplies ready to go instead of digging for matching socks in a hurry last minute. That habit of doing just one thing, knowing I would let myself off the hook after that if I really felt like it, really made a difference for me. It set me up for a gradual shift in perception of the magnitude of these chores. Hope this helps someone out there. 💜
Yees! I use the same trick for working out! I set 15 minutes time lap as a minimum. Like it’s just 15 min and then you can stop. When I really have no energy, I’d do just this and it’s better than nothing. But usually I’d continue and do much more. It’s hard to start for me but not that much to continue…
Went into this video thinking, “Yeah, right. Like this lady knows anything about depression and cleaning. This video is going to be a joke and worthless.” Then I watched it and found that she gets it. And said exactly what I’ve been feeling. Wow. This is a great video. Thank you.
Exactly me. I thought she might have some useful tips for me as I'm coming out of depression now. Didn't think it would be useful for full on depression but she knows what she's talking about!
This video and these comments made me cry. Knowing that others are going though what I'm going through doesn't make me feel better. It makes me feel sad that people are feeling this way also. But I'm happy to see that we are all trying to take steps to improve our quality of life by watching this video.
I am going through this hell too, people you are not alone ❤️. I can’t believe I am living in such a messy apartment, it’s just not me 😪. I wish I had a magic wand for us , I don’t know how to begin sorting my disgusting apartment. I can’t even take a shower because I am so depressed, I have tried so many meds and therapy and still no fix for me , this depressed laziness and avoidance runs in my family. So I am genetically cursed . I am trying so much to crawl out of it but I am getting no where 😪😪😪🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 I would not wish this illness on anyone. Xxxx
My husband died at 38. I was 37. I went through this. No one understood. You are amazing and kind with a level of understanding that others can't comprehend. You are helping so many people. I can't express the admiration and gratitude I feel for you. No one was there for me. I was accused of self pity, laziness horrible destructive things. I did exactly what you said. Walked. One thing at a time. 5 years later, I am back to functional. I wish I saw this then. Please write a book. Please. Being so low that you feel unable to move. Waking that way. People act as though you choose this. Please please please write a book. I cried even though it's been 8 years since he died. I didn't function for 3 and fought for 5. That's a long time. Consider reaching a wider audience. You're beautiful. Thank you.
My dear, it seems like you are the one who needs to write the book. Having been through loss myself,. I know that only those who've been through it can really put the perspective on the situation. I hope you have good days ahead.
The empathy and understanding expressed in this video (especially for those of us with depression) is just so lovely and wonderful. Thank you for the tips, advice and encouragement, Angela.
You're insights are amazing esp. about the Christianity, (I know all about Catholic guilt and unworthiness/modesty). People think cleaners are unskilled and unintelligent and clean because they have no other options but you're proving that's just not true! I'm also a cleaner and dumb myself down for my clients and don't often admit to all the education I've completed. I just like cleaning because it doesn't stress me out or consume my entire life. Also lucky to have lovely clients.
Except this video has NOTHING to do with depression, which is a clinically diagnosed mental condition. You're confusing general anxiety and lethargy with a serious mental issue, please stop.
@@karadiberlino My agenda?? I'm not the one earning ad revenue by pitching fixation-based behavior patterns as anti-depressants. What this woman is doing is unethical and criminal in the U.S.. She makes unsubstantiated medical claims throughout the video and is ignoring the actual definition of depression. General anxiety, lethargy, and emotional swings are NOT depression. Depression is a clinically diagnosed mental condition, that requires professional medical help. Telling someone to engage in fixative-behaviors is the last thing a professional would do, because it causes the patient to see their fixation or lack thereof as another symptom, which only exacerbates a depressive state. Your depressed, clean your house, you'll feel better. *doesn't clean house *now sees dirty house as a negative *mental health further damaged ^^This is why you can't introduce a rewards system into depression, you're literally feeding the underlying problem.
When I’m overwhelmed with the amount of cleaning I need to do, I like to start a load of laundry and start the dishwasher. Kind of makes me feel like I’m multitasking when really the machines are doing the hard work for me. Makes it feel like I was more productive.
I just did this today. Almost Xmas Eve feeling low. Knew had to do something.
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Oh for a washing machine and dish washer. I dont like doing dishes. My washer & dryer dont work. To have these things would help me tremendously. It would take care of a ton of the mess I struggle with.
Yep. At those times, doing some “easy,” machine-assisted housecleaning is helpful. Even using a lightweight vacuum cleaner on the door mats helps me. I had to dump the huge heavy exhausting vacuum cleaner in order to clean more often.
I have never heard anything more spot on. I got super emotional because no one has ever validated what I go through everyday. I am SO ashamed that I can’t tidy my house. I’m suffocating in it. I have started therapy and medication but it’s a slow process..like trudging through quicksand.
I'm in the same situation. There are days that I am able to do more but some days I don't even want to get up. Sigh. I'm just taking things one step a a time I guess. This was great advice though!
Glad it helped you, but having been flooded with walk, walk, walk advice after my second stillbirth I found it truly irresonsible. Waking MIGHT help SOME people, but all it did for me was an added burden to my schdule while fatibues and help drop my weight, along with lack of appetite, to anorecix levels. This myth is so entrenched that it becomres another club to beat people with depression with (She is still sad? Why doensat she just exercise more!) I truly hate this "got it all figured out - just walk" response to a tremendously difficult and multi-faceted problem.
My dog died this morning near my Christmas tree. She was my bestie and I am so depressed. My housework seemed futile till I found your video. I can do this now. Thank you so much 🙏
Beau Crawford oh...your poor doggie...and POOR YOU. Good luck in following her ideas! Take baby steps. I read a story about a girl who had an assignment where she had to write a theme paper about 100 different birds. She let it go and let it go. Finally the paper was due soon and she cried. Her father advised her to just start doing it. She said how can I ever hope to get it done. He said to her “One bird at a time.” This will be the same.
So sorry for your loss. My beloved dog passed in August. I know how you feel. I took a photo of her lying under the tree last Christmas so I've framed it and have it under the tree now. She will always be in my heart.
3 years after this was made, this has just made an enormous difference to me. I'm in overwhelm and my house is a disgrace and you are right, the guilt that comes with it is a big part of the depression spiral. This is fantastic, compassionate and realistic advice. Thank you so much xx
Maybe it was fate that brought you to this video. It's been a month. How are things going for you? I'm curious. You should post an update on your progress.☺
The guilt! It’s a torture- I don’t have words to explaining it. I don’t even know, how to come out of it. But in a way, it has helped me to be strong and stay strong. To stay positive and to fight on with confidence, I can do it. Thinking positive is as hard as washing the dishes, but it’s not impossible. I hope someday you will get the strength to do little by little to clean your house. Don’t give up-you can do it 💕
@@thebewitchinghour831 it was definitely fate. Just being understood makes you feel like you are not alone and that makes so much difference. I'm gradually working through things. Washing 5 dishes at a time or washing what I use plus one more,. Bought an air dryer that's in my bedroom and you put things in hangers so I literally take the clothes out of the drier and out straight into the wardrobe. It's about putting things in perspective and not feeling so guilty. It took 3 years for my house to become so horrendous so if it takes 3 months or 6 months or 3 years to get it back to normal then I am still winning. Depression is hard because it impacts on so much of life and has not only psychological but physical symptoms. It's OK to feel like crap, it's not great but it's your body' way of telling you that you need to take some time for you and trying to push through it will only deplete your already depleted resources. My daughter calls it 'spoons', the emotional, physical and mental energy we all have. Some people, for whatever reason, have less spoons per day or per week or per month. Don't go into spoon overdraft, use the amount of spoons ypu have and them be gentle with yourself.
I’m literally bawling my eyes out watching this. Thank you. Thank you for not judging us. And understand us. And helping us. A brisk walk isn’t possible for me with chronic illness and pain. That’ll wipe me out. But small tasks and using my energy wisely is invaluable. I can’t afford a house cleaner, But I certainly like a clean and tidy home. I’m super grateful for you.
I would suggest still getting outside. Maybe sitting in a garden or something. Looking at trees lifts peoples moods. Getting some sunlight, vitamin D also boosts mood. So I’d suggest having a tea or coffee outside in the mornings. It helps you wake up and feel good
Ruby Madeline , I have chronic pain (CRPS) and found a walk really hard, I started dealing with my depression by going out into my garden to sit down and just breathe. Slowly, over months, I managed to walk around the garden, eventually getting to even pulling some weeds. It took a few years, but now I take my dog for a daily brisk walk of around 1.5 to 2 kilometres. It has made a difference to my depression and to my capacity to deal with chronic pain. And I investigated home help through my local council, which is (significantly) subsidised in my locality for people with disabilities.
Angela responded to this almost immediately after I made the comment. My internet glitched and my reply did not end up sending. But it seems Angela’s comment has been deleted? It was a beautiful comment about going for a walk and just a lovely message showing empathy and consideration for those of us dealing with chronic illness. Just wanted to let you know Angela, that I DID see your comment, and my phone has been playing up. I didn’t ignore it. And it meant so much to me. Because cleaning is something that brings me joy and it depresses me that I can’t dive in and do what I want to do without extreme physical pain or the consequences of being bedridden after the fact. Eg. I do the dishes. Put a load of washing on. And have a shower. By the time I have a shower, and my Washing is reading to be hung out. I’m in so much pain from the shower. I have a 30 min rest and hang out the washing. And then look at the sink and there’s 9 dishes to hand wash and I want to cry. Because then I need to wash and dry the sink and kitchen surfaces. Chronic illness is tough. And it’s really reassuring to know that other people understand what I’m going through and don’t judge. Sometimes it’s a matter of leaving something for a few hours, while I rest my body. I am lucky I have a spouse who works full time, Comes home and sees that the dishes aren’t done sometimes and feels awful for me because he knows I’m in pain, so he does them and then cooks dinner. I’m sick of being sick. And I’m going to practice more self care. Even small walks in fresh air Even if it’s for 5 minutes to start off. I’ll add a bit extra on every few days until I’m able to go for a decent brisk walk. This video really did help me. Mentally and physically. Last week I went into my mums pool and did laps so it wasn’t so physically draining. Afterwards I was tired but I was also proud of myself for doing what i did. So thanks Angela. Your comment may have disappeared (dunno how😂) but I remember the gist of it and If you have anymore tips for cleaning whilst dealing with chronic pain, I’d be desperate to hear them. Xoxo
Also massive thank you to the three commenters who have left supportive and helpful comments. I’m going to take that board and implement what I physically can. I live in a depressing fifth floor apartment with no yard. But my New Years resolution is a doable one: get a new place with a yard So I can have a garden. And then I can get outdoors, get fresh air and vitamin D. I am so thankful for such wonderful and kind people like you all. Xx
You are so sweet. I've seen lots of people over the years rise from the abyss and getting to work in their homes has been enlighting as to what works for them and what they tried that doesn't work as well. In any event, depression is a struggle that requires everything you've got most of the time.
A stranger telling me I'm worthy of a clean house made me cry. A stranger UNDERSTANDING THAT I NEEDED TO HEAR THAT made me cry even harder. This is the best thing I've seen in awhile. Thank you, Cleaning Lady!!
Thank you so much for taking the time to write this comment and for your kind words. I'm so glad that the video was helpful to you. Hope you are well. Sending you positive thoughts, prayers and hugs. 😊🙏🤗
The part about taking a brisk walk made me cry because it's so true that that is the hardest part and your empathy for that just really got me right in my feelings
When you said to go for a brisk walk, I just broke down. Lying in my bed all day long surrounded by the mess makes me feel like a total failure, like I don’t deserve fresh air and dopamine. Thank you, this was helpful 🤍
Hey Katy, I'm sending you a big virtual hug. You do deserve fresh air and dopamine - and not to scare you but your heart is a pump that operates the blood flow to your vital organs. BUT, your lymphatic system doesn't have a pump it relies on exercise and movement (and plenty of water) to function. my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/21199-lymphatic-system Get out and go walking my friend as if your life depends on it - it does. ❤🙏😀
You are wrong Katy Bug. You deserve fresh air and so so so much more. Tell yourself that over and over. Sending big hugs and lots of love ❤️. WE CAN OVERCOME. I'm committing to walking everyday for the rest of June. Will you accept my challenge? WE CAN!! WE DESERVE THE BEST LIFE HAS TO OFFER!!
It's not God or church that makes me feel unworthy, it's my upbringing in a violent alcoholic home that does. A mom that always found something wrong even when we cleaned it spotless. Thank you for helping me identify the feeling of unworthiness and it's association to depression. Awareness is the 1st step.
Oh no, I'm so sad you experienced this and pray that as an adult you have a happier, safer environment. You deserve that, as well as a clean, beautiful place to live. I'm sending you a big virtual hug. 🤗
Same but it was my bully tyrant father. Still today as an adult. He's a miserable spiritually ill person... traumatized & damaged through the atrocities of war & its impovershing after-effects throwing people into eternal poverty & a broken infrastructure that propagates immigration to western capitalist countries where their education doesn't count & end up in menial industrial labour jobs living a life of proving one's worth & decision to emigrate by having a perfectly clean & organized home. Humanity learns NOTHING from its collective history. Hopefully, as individuals, we can repair the damage passed onto us & one by one make a better world that honours the value of EVERY person & life-form.
@@kathywilliams2685 God may help you but it is the _Humans_ who claim to know him and what he wants that are the ones that instill Guilt and try to destroy your self esteem. We really do not require Middlemen or Women to converse with Deity.
@@birgip.m.1236 As an immigrant from a poor (in the 70s) country to an anglo-saxon country, my mother as a housewife and abundant energy had her house spotless. I was trained "as a girl" to clean the house, bathrooms, bedrooms every Saturday while my brothers cut the grass every now and then (I had to make their beds and clean their bedrooms too). With depression I have that horrible, horrible guilt that my home is dirty and I keep hearing my mother´s critical voice and all the arguments we had over why I had to clean and my brothers didn´t. It all fell on deaf ears. So my home is a pig sty, part in rebellion, part out of tiredness and depression. The shame of not living up to her standards never leave you, even though I´ve had a career, etc. Thanks for putting this in perspective for me. So true.
Thank you for spreading kind loving advice instead of judgement. It was getting professional cleaners in for a starter clean a few years ago that kickstarted my road to recovery. I became so overwhelmed that I had three people work on it for a whole day. But after that I had a cleaner come for three hours a week and it helped give me a reason to tidy everything before she got there. I know cleaners are often looked down upon but you can actually save lives. I remember she'd come to my house first thing on a Wednesday so I'd run to the shop and get some croissants and we'd have breakfast together before she cleaned. I finished University because of that stability and structure and I will forever be grateful to that woman and the fantastic job she did.
I would be willing to bet this advice is either from experience or she knows someone close to her who has had this battle. Wonderful empathy and insight. I go from being ridiculously tidy to not being able to get up off the couch. Right now I am in the shame cloud because I have let the house go. I appreciate this advice so much. ❤️
Hey Jennifer, welcome to the show, and thanks for your kind words. At times in our lives, we all suffer from stress, depression, PTSD, loss, grief, overwhelm, or any other assortment of emotions that trigger survival mode without much else to show for it, but the mere survival itself. Please don't be ashamed if you are moving through one of these times. You're moving through it and that is worth celebrating. I'm sending you a big virtual hug and cheering you on. 🤗🙏👏
Try not to beat yourself up. It just creates shame. I like to say " I was already feeling bad. Why do I have to feel bad about feeling bad? But then, get up and go walk or exercise at home. Whichever is more uplifting!
What a beautiful soul you have. I lost both parents this year & I’m turning 50. All natural parts of life but still I wake up every morning already feeling defeated & useless. My house is going to hell & so is my body. I need to pull it together. I’m so grateful that this video popped up in my feed.
Hey Mitch I’m just reading this now..I am turning 50 this year as well and just lost my mom and my dad just had a heartattack. I would love to know how ur doing now...You sounded like you were going through exactly what I am right now 😥
Thank you for posting this. I am trying to crawl out of my depression and my house is a wreck. I feel like a failure as a single mom. Thank you for making me feel like I can try. Like it's ok. I cried during this video like a baby.
This really spoke to me, you can really feel that she actually understands depression and doesn't think you're just "lazy" like my sister used to think, I do keep up with my home now that I have a child but I totally get how depression works because my apartments before having my child and even as a child I was messy in my room BUT was forced to clean the rest of the house every single day I had a chore in a pretty big house (Monday had to clean both bathrooms top to bottom, Tuesday I had to clean the kitchen EVERYTHING, Wednesday I had to clean my uncle's room, Thursday had to vacuum the entire house, Fridays I had to dust and wipe everything down and weekends were whatever work had to be done outside like I had to mow and weed wack both front and back yards and then clean up the yards) I felt like Cinderella doing deep cleaning of the home EVERY week and my sister NEVER had to clean anything "cuz she was older and had basketball after school" do you know many extra curricular activities I would have loved to have done but couldn't cuz to go home from school every single day and clean! I had to clean the whole house even my uncle's room (he raised us) but as a child CONSTANTLY having to clean, once I left I wanted nothing to do with cleaning, but as I've gotten older and now have a child of my own I keep a clean home but I don't wanna push my daughter either and make her hate cleaning, she is 7 and cleans some things but I DON'T force her to clean the whole house like I had to do as a child, I put some music on and we both clean obviously she's young so she does what she can but I'm proud of her and myself she's my rock and what keeps pushing me to do the rights things❤️
I didn't take my initially slow slide into depression seriously and thought it was a brief "bump" That I would get over...then serious health issues among other things started building up and the clutter and mess in my apartment began ro reflect the chaos in my life. 7 years later I found this video and feel like I'm listening to someone who's had a camera into my life and I'm in tears. Thank you so much for this video.
I put on my shoes 👟 immediately and went, (actually forced), myself to go for a walk! It truly was amazing to me just how much better I felt❣️ I did 1 chore & rewarded myself with going to the beach, something I wouldn’t do because I knew that I should be cleaning rather than relaxing! I’m making new & additional recordings now throughout the day❣️ Thank you everything you said fit me to a tee! I look forward to learning to love myself again❣️🫶🏼🥰
That's fantastic. We should reward ourselves. We all spend so much time beating ourselves up. We are our worst enemies most of the time. I'm glad that you're staying positive. If you feel yourself falling just come back and listen to the video again.
As a depressed person, I always do something like this. One task every day, load the dishwasher, run one load of laundry, make the bed, etc. If I do this, my house stays clean and organized because I have good days when I can do more things. By doing this, along with meds and other therapy, it helps keep my depression in check. On bad days, and even after 15 years of working on my depression I still have bad days, I only do this one thing and sometimes go back to bed, but most of the time now this one things leads to more things. Thanks for this video!!!
I think you are doing great! Well done on balancing the good and bad days. You set a great example (to me anyway -> chronically depressed and losing the uphill battle regularly) Grinnn, welcome to super-hero-status ;) you've earned it.
Seeing this video and some of the heartwarming replies she has left on people's comments has made me feel so good. What an amazing person! She is definitely not your average cleaning lady!
Oh my goodness Angela!! I am hysterically crying right now. Everything you said in this video is me to a tee. I've suffered with major depression for over 30 years I've been on every type of medication I've been through years and years and years of therapy, psychologists, psychiatrists, you name it I've done it. Nothing has helped and nobody really understood it or understood me until you just did right now in this video!! You completely nailed it. You described my entire life my entire situation, what is going on with me, how I feel, and the overwhelming shame of all of it. How could you know so much about me and all these professionals I've been saying for all these years never got it. And prescribing me a little magic pill didn't make it all go away either. But you know what? I'm listening to this video over and over and over and over again. And first thing tomorrow morning, I'mm going to get up and I'm going to go for that brisk walk and I'm going to start again! I asked my doctor once how long should I walk for? How do I know what my target should be? how many miles? Or how many minutes to walk for? He replied "you walk until you're sweating and cussing then you turn around and you walk back!" I just want to thank you for this video. And God bless you, and you have really you have pretty much saved my life. You have given me hope.
Hi Joan, I'm so glad we connected, and you're not alone. We're all in this together. There is a tape th-cam.com/video/n13ZBvaCMjw/w-d-xo.html that was designed to listen to on the brisk walk (1.5 speed) or as you are going to bed at night (normal speed) that is one of those tapes mentioned in the video. I do recommend making your own tape so it will be specific to your needs, but you can listen to this one for ideas on what to include. This is the one I personally listen to when sleeping at night and it just plays all night quietly in the background. My husband benefits from listening to it as well. Please keep me posted on how you're doing. I'm here rooting for you and sending you a big virtual hug. 🤗🤗🤗
I got thru post partum depression by walking. If I did nothing else that day, I walked. It meant I had to get dressed enough to leave the house and some days that was as far as I could get but over time it made a big difference. 2 steps forward 1 back sometimes but forward overall. I hope you're doing well!
She is a genius. This lady understands how our mind works and how to trigger our minds to stay active. This video is so helpful and refreshing to our minds with valuable knowledge. I was just searching for motivation to clean my room faster and this video came up: I am glad I watched this video. ✌️❤️
I drag my carcass out of bed and force myself to do a 15 min workout with lots of deep breathing and stretching. After that I feel like I have enough energy to clean something. Yesterday I managed to clean the kitchen floor and some work surfaces ...I got into momentum and managed the bathroom floor and sink too. ....after that I felt my energy drop but I was happy I had managed something. The exercise does help even though its soooo hard to start.
This was the best video I've ever seen regarding cleaning and depression. You have truly described the effects of depression on a person and their home. Wow! Thank you for this!
Wow. Your channel being recommended to me is a sign from the universe. I have depression, anxiety and ADHD and I really struggle with cleaning - even more so since losing a loved one to cancer. I want to clean, feel overwhelmed by it and give up - which puts me in a cycle of guilt, anxiety and depression all over again. Tackling cleaning often feels like trying to climb a mountain without limbs - and not many people understand this. I'm very happy to have found your channel.
everything I was about to write, you wrote, from the loss of a loved one (my mom) to cancer to the guilt cycle. I'm crying right now watching this cause she gets it, you get it, and I'm not alone..
I am attempting to do a bit of cleaning today...having coffee and this was in my feed. I needed this today. Not sure about the walk tho, where I live is pretty dangerous... Update...I did go for a brisk walk 3 houses left, 3 houses to the right....it's a start....Btw it's warm and lightly snowing.....beautiful and peaceful. Still dark cause it's around 7 am....something I would have missed without your motivation. Thanks for making this video....one step at a time....
Somehow she understands depression more than my actual therapist. This video is amazing. Also, my mom is a clean freak and I grew up in the church. Very interesting.
\i am also very depressed - I stopped cleaning my house in October, and I havent taken a shower, or washed my hair since Xmas. And I dont know why this is happening...Delia
I think this has been the best of all videos. The compassion in her voice is like she truly understands and loves you no matter what. I’m going to save this for the dark days when I just can’t cope. Thank you xx
I am not depressed and I keep my house up within reason, so I clicked this just to see what she had to say. This is surprisingly well informed and I have a lump in my throat with the understanding and empathy put in this episode. I did not expect this. I really feel like this is information I can use. I have friends and family members that do suffer from depression and other mental illnesses. Well done.
Talking a walk is seriously good advice.. I have "high functioning" depression but have been putting off cleaning for the better part of the year. It sucks living in a sh*thole and feeling nasty for putting on the same tshirt, but it's exhausting to clean and I always put it off. I've been offered help but I'm too proud and think I can manage it. Example is I had made my bed, but a week or two later there's already junk and piles of clothes on the bed. So infuriating, because the behavior is automatic and you are constantly exhausted mentally. Walking improved my well-being without being as intensive as jogging, good for weight loss and insomnia which many people with depression struggle with. I'm thinking I'll follow the advice of responsible for one area only, until it feels managable, but further down the line I think I'm going to hire a cleaning person to "keep things in check". But before that I want to clean the entire space, so I don't feel this shame of the other person seing how I live , but then that becomes like a catch 22.
Hey Dan, The walk is good advice but if you keep falling into a rut you may need a mini-trampoline as well. Every hour on the hour that you're home, if you'll set an alarm and jump for 10 minutes (I know it sounds like a lot) and the alternative is to go out and walk around the block. In 6 hours you will be a new person. (Yes, you read that right, 6 mini sessions in a day) and more if you can fit it in. Do this for 4 days in a row and your "high functioning" behaviors will skyrocket. The lymph system doesn't have a pump like the heart and to get everything moving again you need "movement." Keep me posted. You deserve a life that is shame free and celebrates the best of you.
I'm tackling "one area" now and I think part of my problem is, in the back of my mind, I'm disturbed by how tightly packed and unorganized my closet is. If I can release the feelings about my closet not being perfect then hanging up my clothes becomes the easy task that it's supposed to be. I guess we'll see. lol
That’s exactly the way I feel. When I had a house full of little kids my house was spotless, but that probably meant that I was neglecting other things with the kids. Anyway, now I need to hire somebody to clean my small house but I have to clean it first. I’m wading through dustballs and dogs hair. I’m too old to get down on my hands and knees anymore.
This describes me so well! I get something going good (like the nice made bed) and before I know it there is a pile of stuff on it that I didn't even realize I was making. It's so frustrating. I have three young children that I homeschool and care for all day, so all of my energy goes into them and cleaning up after them. Leaves me no time to work on myself, but I know it will pay off when they are well rounded adults. Anyway, just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone in how you feel.
"A lot of clothes piling up on the floor" *looks at both dining chairs used as coat racks, office chair having 3 sweaters, and clothes that haven't been folded in 3 months* yeah I need this video
This is probably the best, most helpful talk on this soul crushing thing called depression in context of “piling up” So now I am getting up to get dressed and take a walk while doing the laundry. 👍♥️💙 Thanks! 😊
I can relate to the guilt over not cleaning as good as my mother did. Thanks for your insightful pep talk. I am 72 years old and just recently found a housekeeper!!! A clean shower and sink is a wonderful feeling..
She is so correct. Listen to her. As someone struggling with functional depression/anxiety due to PTSD combined with cardiomyopathy, it is exhausting for me just to keep up with life work and family, let alone clean. It is hard to feel worthy of life, but I should.
Wow!! I never would have expected such amazing advice on dealing with depression from a cleaning channel. Angela you are such a wonderful and compassionate person! So understanding and full of insight. I hope you realize how many thousands of lives you have touched and helped through this very special video, including myself! A thousand thanks!! God bless you and keep up the good work!!
I really needed to hear this. Thank you so much for this. Every time I watch a cleaning video, the women are almost super hyper, bubbly and smiling and that’s almost depressing in itself. It’s so nice to hear someone address this topic this way. We all owe you you a huge thanks and a virtual hug!
LOL. This reminds me of the time I was listening to a podcast - I forget the title but it was something about consuming or minimalism. And I was eating a candybar while listening. Something that was said triggered the thought that I didn't have to finish the candybar. Like there was no need to eat all the calories in one sitting. And it stopped me in my tracks. A candybar is so small - why wouldn't you finish it? Is it possible to walk away from half a candybar? And the answer is yes: it's possible. Sometimes things not connected to what we are hearing and seeing - are actually connected in an odd way that change our intentional outcomes. Thanks for sharing. ;-)
It's like she just looked into my soul. I lived with an extremely clean parent and I think that is what started it all. Over always struggled with keeping a clean space. I'm going to try these tips and see if I can get my life back
I have not cleaned my three story home for 5 years due to depression. I finally called my cleaning lady (I cleaned the house before she came) and I feel so much better now. Of course, the six dogs don't help! Also, my mother had "sacred" white carpet throughout our home. So as an adult, I got white carpet and just threw crap on it because I could! You are preaching to the choir here. I'm also a hoarder. Not bad but it's still there. Thank you for helping me!
Nancy I'm so glad the video was helpful! And kudos to you for cleaning up bedore the cleaning lady arrived. I hope that you are feeling better. Sening you hugs. 🤗😊
@@AskAngelaBrown Thank you so much! I have two more floors to go. Each floor is an apartment in itself. My house is too big. I can't keep up so I gave up. We'll get there.
Years ago, I was hospitalized for a couple of weeks. While I was gone, my husband had white carpet installed in the whole lower floor. We were a family of constant muddy boots (not me). I had always complained about having to wash the formerly tiled floor because of their boots. I never understood why he did that. When I got out of hospital I moved to the upstairs of the house, only coming down to get food. Finally we sold the house and separated. I never cleaned the rug, moved out before it needed a deep cleaning. It was a mean thing he did, all the while he stood there showing it to us, proud as a peacock.
I usually do the "I'll do it later" with my depression. It's still the same concept. This lady is awesome and it's the first lady I've watched from this channel.
Sitting here crying, looking thru depression videos, and this one has helped me more then all the others. Its nice to hear someone who understands how hard it is to even physically move, let alone clean. Thank u. This has given me more help and reassurance than i thought i could even find
As I lay in bed after some bad days of bad depression, I really needed this. I've always been the one helping others. I don't want others to see me like this. I pride myself in being that one who helps people during hard times and I don't want anybody to think differently of me. It's really hard though. I've been through so much in the past 6 years... Working through being molested and raped from 4/5-9 years old, (holding it in until I was 31, and finally saying something when I was 38 weeks pregnant with my only child, a baby girl), then leaving a man who abused me, even raping me one night, getting me pregnant (a beautiful daughter who I wouldn't trade for the world), but I guess after trying to be strong I've just kind of crashed. My Dad passed away when I was 20 to a sudden massive heart attack and eventhough it will be 18 years this year, I still struggle with what my life would be like if he were here. I miss him so much. Yes, I have a therapist who I see and an incredible support team, I've just kind of pretended like things are really good lately, when they aren't. Sorry for the long post. I guess I just needed to get it out in a way. Thanks for your video. You're helping a lot of people with posting it. ❤️
Thank you for posting this. I went for a walk, came home and did the dishes. Finally having a clean sink got me motivated to clean my countertops, then my bathroom and my place is starting to look like a home again
Coming from a sufferer of depression, the hardest thing to do is getting outside for a walk. But that walk energizes u. Your right on the money Angela, great talk.
I can't believe how well you pegged me! My mom would literally freak out on us (sometimes hit us) if we didn't clean. I am a revolter...and I'm depressed. It's not a good combination. Cleaning is my biggest issue. Thanks so much for understanding and your wonderful advice.
I’m 25 pregnant... been through a lot.. I grew up with extremely tidy parents they also were church goers yet also abused me. They called my depression laziness and an excuse. It was so hard to get up even to take a shower. Or change. And I’m feeling ashamed because I’m supposed to be a housewife my man works so hard... and I take what I’m dealing with as laziness. I broke down today and cried. Looked up cleaning routines on TH-cam and I see all these happy mothers and wives cleaning and loving it. I just felt like what is wrong with me. Why can’t I get motivated. I can’t wait to try this trick. My question is what if the first thing is super hard? It’s a domino effect. If u don’t do the first thing or put it off... then the rest of the day is the same. And nothing gets done. I just didn’t know I wasn’t alone til now. Thankyou so much.
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This lady understands depression. Thank you cleaning lady
Haha love the comment
@@AskAngelaBrown Dear, for how many years and decades go for walks , not get treatment but abuse, and not have one's life? I hate your talk because true, and I can't do it anymore.And there are many others who need help, but didn't take my help on and now I am too exhausted+ depressed to. I am so tired I don't really care much what happens top my body if I die early soon, and even less to keep clean. I have more than enough to work re-summoning the daily motivation to live and summon energy to get up and cook my dustbin vegs for breakfast, eating alone with stress-broken teeth, dreary chewing alone, without anything hopeful meaningful waiting, except going on the endless resultless strain of writing to get my property back and get the personal assistence promised and needed.
Struggling just to make food 3 x/day (often manage just 1), go outdoors in the sunlight (often manage just a short tooth-brushing walk before bed in the small hours), excercising (manage 1 a month), getting to bed early for health (manage half-early 1 a month).
If anyone who knows my fate, biography and situation can give a valid reason I can resonate with to go on this time-wasting, resultless struggle against infinitely cruel authority mistreatment (killing me), you get my Nobel prize.
I am sure there is a solution for every problem, and I am creative and positive. But my whole state/situation is too complex + long to solve without supporting dialogue with another. Which every successful person has anyway. but knowing myself, I shall do what I can anyway, and practise letting go of doing in my own power.
Claudia Bothner, you very clearly explained what depression feels like. I am so sorry that you are not getting the treatment you need.
@@Medietos I feel your pain. 💕 Just know that you're not alone.
@@tbaker4171 and Lisa Broe: Thank you for your warm support, Good Advent.
I’m crying. I haven’t cleaned my room and bathroom for a year.
Update: a day later. I have managed to clean my room which took me 8 hours as I kept having breakdowns. I feel so proud of myself that I have a clear clean bedroom 🥺❤️
A YEAR LATER: I have now dedicated to have cleaning days every Thursdays and Sundays. I am in a much better place. If you’re struggling pls know it gets better, take it one step at a time I promise you the feeling is amazing
A YEAR HALF LATER:
I never expected so much love here 🥹❤️
I still have my moments as I suffer with depression and anxiety, PTSD. Cleaning no longer feels like a chore, I do take my time and do bit by bit, sometimes il leave it for the next day.. But reading back everyone’s comments gives me hope. We will ALL sometimes be in a dark place in life whether be loss or MENTAL health.. just know it does get better it takes time but believe in YOU. I hope you feel some ease when you read this, rooting for you all. Sending lots of hugs & prayers ❤️
WOOT WOOT! I am so happy for you and so proud of you. That is EPIC! Hats off and high five for dedicating the time and energy. 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
That’s amazing! Keep it up
I know you made this comment a long time ago, but I'm proud of you and I hope you are doing well.
@@krystalas84 hey no that’s very sweet of you. I am doing much better 🥺❤️
@@AskAngelaBrown thank you so much ❤️
As a mental health therapist, I'm impressed.
YES! I am also very impressed with this video! I do not know what I was expecting by clicking this, but being deeply understood was not one of them. You totally nailed the reasons. Also I found that you gave the best advice how to remedy the situation which you could have given. It is simple enough to follow through and in depression you need simple solutions! Thank you so much! This video will help so many people!!!
Kimberly Cochran me too. I’m pleased with the real talk about depression and acknowledging the struggle that depression brings. ❤️
Altruistic Misanthrope Why would you say that?
Could not diagree more, and have worked in psychiatry. After my second stillbirth, I was flooded with advice to walk, walk, walk. I did, to the point that it helped drop (along with lack of appetite) my weight to anorexic levels). It did nothing else. When I said this, people just though I wasn't doing it enough, and it became a riciulous burden and a point for vicitme -blaming (still sad, must not be walking enough!). Walking MIGHT help SOME people but to present it as a revolutionary cure-all without these necessary qualifiers does true harm.
Vidalion I’m so sorry for your loss and the hurt you went through. Walking does help with all the reasons mentioned in the video. However, you’re right. Our bodies need physical rest during depressive states and grief.
I’m sorry you felt pushed to do something that wasn’t helpful for you.
Your story is valid. I sincerely hope that you are feeling better. I can’t imagine the pain you went/are going through. Thank you for sharing your story.
This is not a video about cleaning, this a video of compassion and empathy. Thank you.
Thanks for joining me and for taking the time to drop me a line. I appreciate you. 🤗
Came here for cleaning advice but got a therapy session instead... I am not dissapointed!
Amanda Morgan 😹
I am - I don't need or want anymore therapy. It was one of the reasons I became depressed - too much therapy when there was nothing wrong with me.
@@kiah1374 So dont listen to the advice. It's for other people too, not just you.
@@Tropicalpisces Touche - it is however somewhat misleading.
Madison agreed. I was hoping for like vinegar tactics. Haha
How does the TH-cam algorithm know I'm depressed and need to clean my house?! 😅
Playing the odds
It’s spooky
😂😂😂
Algorithm? Santa probably told them! Isn’t he always watching?
😂😂😂😂
People underestimate how much energy depression steals from you. This also applies to the functionally depressed. You may have enough energy to go to work and for a walk, but you may not have enough energy to do anything else. Depression manifests as fatigue, memory loss and physical pain in many people!
MY GOD! THIS!!
Memory loss can be a symptom of deppression?This is the first I've heard of this and i identified fully with it...I've been having a lot of short term memory loss lately (long term over the years)...I never connected it to my depression though....
This makes sense
I know I’m not “lazy”, I enjoy being productive and a job well done. I actually don’t like being “lazy”. But it looks like I’m lazy to see my space...the feeling of fatigue has robbed me of my life.
Yes this is what I have and I have ptsd, anxiety and insomnia. It’s just the surface but I don’t look depressed, or sleep much and I have a good day here and there.
She's not just a cleaning expert, she's a life pro, therapist, life coach, encourager etc wow. Thank you 😊
What a lovely thing to say. Thank you for your kind words and for taking time out of your day to join me. 🤗
I am so ashamed. My house is disgusting. I am scared to leave my home. Something happened at some point and I just broke. And I am spiraling. I know, I KNOW, that having a clean home would make me feel better, make me proud.
Thank you for this.
I've never heard that because people think that their centers that they're not good enough to have a clean house. That's a really strange interpretation of Christianity
You can do it girl. Hugs! I’ve been using hypnosis to help get me out of bed or to do the dishes. I’m also using hypnosis for the guilt and depression! It’s helping. It really is.
Teela Tequila th-cam.com/video/1zgWtYkv6iU/w-d-xo.html I use this one a lot when I need energy. It’s good to imagine yourself how you want to be and embody that. I’ll link more here
Teela Tequila th-cam.com/video/9dv_ETcGnKI/w-d-xo.html Michael has a TON OF HELPFUL HYPNOSIS. I use this one to focus on changing habits.
Teela Tequila th-cam.com/video/BkIBG8Esmbk/w-d-xo.html I found following along with this tapping helpful as well! Going to link some sleep meditations for depression as well. The first two I use to get me up and motivated.
Thank you for this...I just had an infestation of fruit flies because I never wanted to take my garbage out and some rotting food in there was attracting them. Today I took out the garbage and cleaned the inside of the can after I got home from grocery shopping. I’m exhausted. But I did something, and doing something is better than doing nothing.
Also you got dressed, you planed your shopping list, you made yourself food. Plenty you did
Yes, that's more than I could do today! 😊 But tomorrow I will try the trash, because You could do it today, perhaps I can do it tomorrow too 😊😊😊 Life is full of little miracles!!! It also teaches me to enjoy the little victories in life...like bringing the trash out!!!
@@SatumainenOlento did you do it?
TheChemist - I have that same problem, as I am typing this, there is garbage with fruit flies that needs taking out. My little dog is jumping on me to get me to take her out (it’s 3:30am and I am still awake) so, I will put my kitchen garbage in a bag and take the dog (and the garbage) out for a walk to the apartment dumpster. You and this video have inspired me to start and do one task a day. Tomorrow will bee the dishes. My house is beyond messy - it is quite disgusting in a few ways. Anyway, one step at a time. I think maybe making the tape of me saying positive thoughts would be worth a try. Hang in there “Chemist”. You ARE worthy of living in a clean home . . . . . me, too. ❤️
👏👏👏❤
Depression makes you question if you want to live or die. Cleaning seems a waste of your already low energy.
Such an understanding video.
I'm sending you a big virtual hug 🤗
I agree totally ❤️❤️🇬🇧
True, but after a while you have to realize that if you're not going to do yourself in, you need to clean up. I always feel much better when my house is clean and tidy. Keeping it clean is much easier than letting it build for weeks and the cleaning is much harder.
@@tubester4567 exactly, I still have awful depressive states but a few years ago I told myself: you've been depressed for 20 years and haven't decided to end it all, you might as well try and do something good for yourself, go to a doctor, clean the house - you can still end it if feel like it, but maybe doing those things will make you want to stay alive.
@@Mia199603 I wish I knew how to convey this to depressed friends. Doing the same things haven't made them happy in the decade+ that I've known them, so why not try doing something new? At worst, you're back where you started, but it could also shake you out of the depression. It's worth giving it a few days or a few tries. I feel like I'd be a jerk though saying it.
You've got way more empathy that my doc did when I spoke to him about my depression. The house I'm in has been neglected since I was 12, I'm 22 and yesterday I fully cleaned my kitchen. Today, I'm working on the dining room. Thank you so much for this video, and I hope you're doing well ❤️
👏👏👏 I am so proud of you and your clean kitchen. Thank you for watching and for taking the time to reach out. I'm sending you a big virtual hug 🤗 and I'm doing a happy dance for your progress. 💃💃💃💃💃
Wow! So inspiring!
You are Amazing , Great Job !!!😊
All my Dr. said was take Prozac for depression. I refused because it just masks the problem.
@@malissakirby4193This reminds me of my doctor, except for me it is my weight struggles. I wanted a referral for a nutritionist or dietician. Instead he brushed me off and said indifferently 'Just cut back on 25% of what you eat'. Thanks Doc. 🙄🙄🙄 It's so frustrating, as well as disheartening, when even someone in the medical profession is indifferent to one's struggles!
Gonna chime in as another house cleaner. I sometimes hear customers apologising to me for how dirty or messy their homes are. Ironically, those are the homes I most enjoy cleaning, those are the homes I got this job for. The truly worst customers are the prestige customers, those that do not need a cleaning service but they get one anyway just so the neighbours will see one of our company cars on the driveway.
The prestige customers doesn't actually need my help cleaning, I'm just spending time there looking for the dust bunnies they missed when they pre-cleaned. I'd much rather be cleaning for someone who genuinely needs my help, where I can see that my work made a difference.
Yes, I used to clean houses part time when I was going to college. I felt what you said to my core. I also understand the other side. I've been recovering from severe depression for over 30 yrs. Some days it's still difficult to clean my own home.
Some of the most generous people (even if they gave me extra things like food or small furniture, or an extra $20 for holidays) were those who genuinely needed my help. The people who could afford the most haggled with me the most. I had to let it go because it was too much work for too little money.
My grandpa gets free cleaning service because he's a veteran and he's 91 years old but he doesn't want anyone to see his home dirty (even if it never actually is very dirty) so he always cleans it before the cleaner comes.... I bet the cleaners think his house is very boring to clean and they must feel like their work is not important or needed there
I finally hired someone to come in and help me with cleaning because I couldn’t do it all myself. It was a huge decision on many levels, especially because my husband was not happy having someone else in out personal space. She was amazing and it was so helpful, she was kind, did more than I asked, I felt better and it allowed me to start working on the bigger projects I never had time to tackle like purging the years of accumulated crap. My husband was thrilled with the progress and her help, until we realized she had stolen something really important from us and had to involve the sheriff. We were so disappointed, she never called to deny or apologize or offer to return the item and I know my husband will most likely never allow anyone to come in to help again. I was devastated, I had checked her references but not done a background check which was my fault and she had a history. It’s put the depressed into a tailspin. Our place is presentable but it’s not right and the stuff piles up because having to account for more than yourself isn’t so easy. If I ever do this again it will be a service, but they don’t always do what I need done (no high spots, not the detail I needed cause I can do the quick clean I need the picky stuff, no consistency) so for now I’m back to getting by. Thanks for understanding us. I’m working on getting out of the house to walk or do errands and figure out how to not sleep all day and be up all night. You are kind people.
Helena Nilsson 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
Helena Nilsson thank you for sharing your perspective! 💗
How many of us found this video surprisingly refreshing because of a lifetime of "suck it up, buttercup" as the "cure" for depression?
This is a welcome change. Thank you.
Yes! My family's still saying that, even though several of them have depression, "just get over it."
This!!
Me!
The “just get over it” mentality is from the 1950’s. Don’t want anyone’s mental heath issues dampening the “everything is prosperous and completely fine” societal mentality.
Yes! That "suck it up buttercup" mentality is one of the things that feeds the shame, which feeds the depression! Being much more gentle with yourself and actually taking care of yourself is the answer.
I know I'm going to be watching this video more than once.
Same 😍
From a person who used to enjoy cleaning.... it’s not fun anymore.
Nothing has been fun for a few years but this video really makes me feel peace and excellent advice. Simple tips and easy to maintain.... it helps when someone like this understands the emotions behind what she says.
I like this video and like how I feel after I listen to it without shame then I can find a little motivation to want the best for myself.
Some things really kicked my ass, emotionally in life. I can’t just be in survival mode..... something isn’t working but I do try to walk. I try to eat healthy- but I do make time to do a small task daily.
It’s weird to want the best for myself and yet NOT having energy or motivation after wanting the best for everyone else for work... anyways... I’m really happy for this video with someone who isn’t saying” you’re not alone, you’re not the only one”- I know I am not the only one but I believe we are all unique and I believe there is a lot of love and support out here.
I come back to it a few times a year as I struggle with this way too often
@@ChristyQQ1 ❤❤❤
I'm here for like the 3rd, 4th time haha!
I've never heard someone speak from my heart without knowing me. It's been a vicious cycle in my life, I'm grateful for this woman making this video.
What a lovely thing to say. I'm so sorry you are going through a difficult time right now. I'm sending you a big virtual hug. 🤗
@@AskAngelaBrown thank you 💜 I love authentic people who can speak truth! Subscribed
This!
One of my fears with struggling with depression & having a messy house is dying & having someone else having to clean up my mess...I managed to scrub my toilet & sink the other day & take out my trash & washed a load of clothes...baby steps & one day at a time
I was actually thinking about doing a load of laundry today. Didn't have enough time to do it,but atleast I had the thought I wasn't even thinking about doing a load of laundry a few weeks ago.
I have that same fear. I’m so happy I’m not the only one that thinks that!! I use it as my motivation to clean the bathrooms etc during the week. I tell myself “ok you know you have to leave the house Friday and go to the bank then get groceries so if you get hurt or die then you know that mommie and the aunts will be coming in this house and you KNOW what they will say and the look of disgust on their face. That will be the last memory they have of you, how will your soul be at peace if they have THAT memory of you? You need to get this done so if anything does happen on Friday then nobody will know you are a dirty bird.” It does help me, I make a list of chores and do some each day so when I leave my house on Friday it is in decent condition. I’m proud you are taking baby steps and I wish you the best of luck. I’m sending positive vibes, love and happiness your way.
I have the exact same fear and I tend to get panic attacks at night where I feel like I'm dying (though I'm not) and instead of trying to calm myself down I start cleaning because I'm so so afraid of my family and friends seeing how I live and for some reason this makes me even more afraid than dying
@@caruusel sending you love prayers and good vibes...we're going to get it together in 2020 i'm claiming it
@@keyanna2633 that's a step...i was suppose to wash a load of clothes today but all i did was lay in the bed until it was time to go to work...those clothes will be waiting for me when i go home because i literally have nothing to wear to work this week...guess i'll have to make that trip down into the basement after all...how symbolic...i hope you managed to wash those clothes by now
You clearly understand depression. Even your voice tone is empathic. Thank you.
Angela, your videos just make me smile, every time. And then one on trying to clean while you're depressed? Love it!
Thank you for that video...
My mental health is even getting worse when my apartment is dirty and it's such a downward spiral..
I came here to say just that! Thank you for making this video for us. Im from a religious background and was damn near traumatized around cleanliness as a kid. Ive been trying to make sense of all this...and you just did. 🙏🏾
@@christiane6818 it IS really hard. Every day I think I'm gonna attack my house and every day I'm lucky to get dishes or laundry done :( the mess makes the anxiety and depression SO MUCH WORSE.
@@Tropicalpisces yes.. And I can't get rid of the guilt and shame...
Jesus Christ how did I get this in my recommendations? Is there a camera in my house???
@@AskAngelaBrown Lol. Thanks for the pep talk.
lol no but there is a microphone in your phone that works both ways. 🤓
LOL same here!!
Same... I've been trying to clean my space for the past two months and while sometimes I'd have sporatic energy and it's be easy to do, i haven't felt the same lately and it's almost daunting especially as thing pile up... Just the video i needed.....
I swear the camera's in my house have just been watching me attempt to clean, pick up 3 things then lay in bed and watch youtube.... Guess they figured i could do both... X)
I love how she talks with that voice, it's so soothing and i feel someone is here talking to me but never judges me
Thank you so much, I appreciate your kind compliment. 🤗
Because we are living in survival mode and cleaning is not on our radar.
@@KristiesLexicon Not true.
Very true survival mode 😩
Not even. Almost like anti-survival mode. 😢
It's on my radar every day, but it seems overwhelming. I live alone, so their is no one around to say hey let's clean this up, etc. I manage to do some of it, but then other things don't get done at all.
@@cmoriarty6854 hey !!!! lets clean together :[
Why does this cleaning lady understand me and havd better advice than any therapist I've ever been to?
You are very kind. Thank you for watching my video. 🤗
What a great video! The format & message in this video sets a great example for anyone who wants to offer support (in any situation).
Right?!! I'm sick of paying people who don't know what they're talking about. This sweet woman gets me😘
You just preached a whole sermon without even realizing. Thank you I needed this, not just for the cleaning. The motivation, the step by step approach can be applied to whatever depression is keeping you from achieving. I needed this SO BAD today. Thank you thank you thank you.
@@Napricorn_83 Right. I've been feeling really bummed lately and her talk just gave me a little motivation. Thank you.
When I heard “don’t worry about cleaning the house while you’re depressed”, I thought the next “advice” would be to hire the cleaning service that she spoke about.
I was quite happy to hear the actual advice, the actual steps that she laid out, including to get out of the house and take a brisk walk.
Glad you enjoyed the video! Thank for sharing your input, I appreciat it!😊
My mom always told me. "the way it looks at your home, the same way it looks in your head. So clean it up and you'll feel much better" Now at this point, everytime I feel depressed and bad I clean my rooms so that I feel better. And it actually works! Thanks for that mum❤️
Wow my head has some really disorganized stuff lol
MrsEvijustme: You're lucky that you can motivate yourself that way...I look at what needs doing and want to do it but an hour later it still isn't done.
I'm like the tv commercial..."there you are with your depression and your laundry that you have No interest in doing!"
I want chores done but I just look at them. 🙁
@@pamh.5705 I'm so often the same. My way does not work everytime. Of course it doesn't 😅 but I am willing to do the best I can and at some point I'm so frustrated of the way my apartment looks like, that I want to clean it so bad🙈
MrsEvijustme Fab advice from your mom. I’ve noticed that I keep the parts people see fine but spare room and particularly my bedroom becomes messy when I’m feeling down, it represents my emotions at that time. I hate sleeping in a messy bedroom it’s not restful yet I still mess it up sometimes.
@MrsEvijustme - Your mom was right. The state of my living space is one of the ways I measure how badly out of whack my brain is. If the things are piling up and there's real dirt and grime and stuff accumulating, it's a tell-tale sign depression is flaring up again.
Bruh this is so helpful. I love how she doesn't talk down about depressed people not being able to do basic tasks. She explains why it's hard and then tells you how to overcome it. Super helpful
Thank you for writing in with your comments, I appreciate it. ❤️
That's why I almost started crying. My eldest siblings call me a lazy, spoilt brat but my medical records say otherwise. 😑
It's overwhelming that a complete stranger (whose cool, might I add) understands me more than my siblings, without even have met or seen me.
This lovely lady, must've studied psychology for sure. Or..
"Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's mabeline!" 😹
😂my mom always shames me and I am depressed but my mom thinks its doesnt exist
Man, I’m 60 years old and have been depressed all of my life. This is the best advice I’ve ever heard. Go figure.
Thank you so much for your kind words. And thank you for taking the time to write this comment, I appreciate it! 🤗
I hope you are doing well 💗💐
You've got this! Just lean on Jesus to give you the strength you need. He will never leave you or forsake you even if you feel weak or depressed. ❤ Your life is so precious.
I feel you and know it. Sending you love my friend ❤️
I can totally relate with you Jill! 💕 I still haven't worked it out, how to overcome it & I turn 50 next week 🙁
Amen..why have I been paying $90 seeing a psychologist getting utterly nowhere when this amazing lady just nailed it! Thank you 🇦🇺👍🙏💫
Thank you Adam for your kind words and for taking the time to join the conversation. 🤗
As a chronically depressed person going for a walk everyday does help. I use a cleaning service to help me keep my house clean and don’t feel any guilt about it. I deserve a nice clean home.
Kathryn P hard when you can’t afford it
Kathryn P Just don’t use it as a crutch.
Kylie Smith It tbh is something of a blessing not to be able to afford it. Just start with one small thing. Listen to Jordan Peterson’s advice re: cleaning, that’s how I bounced back from just letting things collect. I’m not a neat freak, but I was able to turn around that habit thanks to him.
He is a lot better than this lady, who seems to just be trying to sell the idea of hiring cleaners.
@@fatuusdottore Jordan Peterson hurts trans people and hates women. He sews hatred for immigrants and women. Fascists and xenophobes on the internet are obsessed with him.
I know there are good people who got sucked into Peterson's rhetoric with his cloying and over repeated mildly Christian self help rhetoric, but to quote this man that has harmed so many people, and sheltered so many bigots and fascists, is misguided.
So no, don't listen to him. Instead on TH-cam search: "Contrapoints Jordan Peterson"
@Kathryn P thanks for confirming it works for you and despite what other comments may say there is nothing wrong with using a "crutch" as long as it helps you walk again. Oooh how deep!😂
Love,
Another Kathryn P
i thought i was just lazy. i’ve had depression and anxiety for years. thank you so much for changing my perspective on this. I feel it’ll help me to stop putting myself down
I appreciate you watching my video and writing me a comment. 🤗
I feel I am lazy as I try to tidy but I feel so tired I have to keep sitting down. Or needing to sleep.
Same! I promise you are not lazy and most definitely not alone 💗💗💗
Me too!
G'd bless you for being so honest. I can relate. Thank Q!!!
I love how respectful you are when talking about depression. Most would quickly judge and call someone lazy instead of understanding. Living day to day with depression is really difficult.
Thank you so much for your kind words. And thanks for watching. Sending hugs. 🤗
@Angela Brown Cleaning hello Angela, I love you and your videos. I have my own business and depression, when depression hits, I have to reschedule my clients and potentially new clients, it makes me look bad and I feel horrible doing this. I can't tell them what's really going on. I know you're not a therapist but as a professional cleaner how can I go about this in a better way? What really depresses me is how some potential clients treat me and talk to me, I've learned to say thank you, walk out and not take them on as my clients. How would you go about this? Honestly, I don't know where these people are coming from talking down to me, telling me that's too much, my old cleaner only charged me so much, I finally tell them, I'm not them, I'm licensed, Bonded and Insured and I pay taxes, I'm professional about it but when I go home, I start to cry, people can be so cruel and mean. I never treat anyone this way yet they disrespect me. Please HELP!😔🙏
@@bairesgurl Hi Annie. I used to have a small business before I became disabled. I speak from experience. As you said, you are licensed, bonded and paying taxes. Maybe try working for more affluent clients. Also, tell your satisfied clients you would be happy if they made recommendations to others for your services. You are right to walk away and cry in private. But know your worth and clients will come. Keep your chin up and know your worth. Disrespectful=ignorant! People with dignity and class do not speak down to others. Be the best at what you do and work with a smile for those who appreciate your help. Best wishes to you. 🕊🙏🌹
BTW, you could tell new clients that you have a sick relative that sometimes requires your help unexpectedly & you may need to reschedule from time to time. I consider the trio of me/myself/& I quite the trio that I need to take care of. They don't need to know that you are the sick relative. Remember, depression is an illness just like diabetes or heart disease. It is treatable but sometimes sidelines us by surprise.
One tip I can give for depressed people is recognizing that starting is the hardest part.
I moved to a RV with a tiny sink, tiny water heater and no dish washer. There are 4 of us to cook and clean for. Just keeping up while depressed seemed impossible.
One thing I did to break out of it is to promise myself I would wash one single dish in the morning.
Sometimes I would choose the biggest pan, sometimes it would just be a bowl so that I could have it ready for my next bowl of cereal.
But what I found is that many times I caught myself saying, “Ok, I’ll just do a couple more now that my hands are wet.”
But setting a tiny miniature goal was what worked for me.
Same thing with the laundry. I got overwhelmed with piles of laundry and a tiny washer/dryer. But even when I had a house and full size set, folding and putting away never seemed to happen, because depression will make you unwilling to do more than ‘just enough’ to get by.
I promised myself that I would simply wash/dry/fold one set of clothes for the family ahead of time, so that it would be put away where they could get it for themselves when they needed it.
I started just trying to make sure there was one clean towel ready for shower or dishes. I just wanted to know what it was like to have supplies ready to go instead of digging for matching socks in a hurry last minute.
That habit of doing just one thing, knowing I would let myself off the hook after that if I really felt like it, really made a difference for me. It set me up for a gradual shift in perception of the magnitude of these chores.
Hope this helps someone out there.
💜
Thank you.......
This is very good advice and I appreciate you sharing it. Keep up the good work 👍.
I'll try to think of this when I'm feeling too tired to do a whole lot of anything. Thanks for the idea.
Yees! I use the same trick for working out! I set 15 minutes time lap as a minimum. Like it’s just 15 min and then you can stop. When I really have no energy, I’d do just this and it’s better than nothing. But usually I’d continue and do much more. It’s hard to start for me but not that much to continue…
Thank you🌻💛I do this! Really helps me to know you are there! I hope to help someone else someday
Went into this video thinking, “Yeah, right. Like this lady knows anything about depression and cleaning. This video is going to be a joke and worthless.”
Then I watched it and found that she gets it. And said exactly what I’ve been feeling. Wow. This is a great video. Thank you.
Exactly me. I thought she might have some useful tips for me as I'm coming out of depression now. Didn't think it would be useful for full on depression but she knows what she's talking about!
This video and these comments made me cry. Knowing that others are going though what I'm going through doesn't make me feel better. It makes me feel sad that people are feeling this way also. But I'm happy to see that we are all trying to take steps to improve our quality of life by watching this video.
I am going through this hell too, people you are not alone ❤️. I can’t believe I am living in such a messy apartment, it’s just not me 😪. I wish I had a magic wand for us , I don’t know how to begin sorting my disgusting apartment. I can’t even take a shower because I am so depressed, I have tried so many meds and therapy and still no fix for me , this depressed laziness and avoidance runs in my family. So I am genetically cursed . I am trying so much to crawl out of it but I am getting no where 😪😪😪🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧 I would not wish this illness on anyone. Xxxx
❤️❤️❤️
bbyskittles91 right there with you. Had 3 deaths in 12 months.
SO many people are going through this. I have to be a REALLY good actor to hide it.
Girl like im boohoo cryin
My husband died at 38. I was 37. I went through this. No one understood. You are amazing and kind with a level of understanding that others can't comprehend. You are helping so many people. I can't express the admiration and gratitude I feel for you. No one was there for me. I was accused of self pity, laziness horrible destructive things. I did exactly what you said. Walked. One thing at a time. 5 years later, I am back to functional. I wish I saw this then. Please write a book. Please. Being so low that you feel unable to move. Waking that way. People act as though you choose this. Please please please write a book. I cried even though it's been 8 years since he died. I didn't function for 3 and fought for 5. That's a long time. Consider reaching a wider audience. You're beautiful. Thank you.
Lisa Oswald 💙
Sending much love and more healing to your way ❤❤❤ You reserve so much ❤❤❤
My dear, it seems like you are the one who needs to write the book. Having been through loss myself,. I know that only those who've been through it can really put the perspective on the situation. I hope you have good days ahead.
❤️
May God heal you and bless you. Best wishes for you dear
The empathy and understanding expressed in this video (especially for those of us with depression) is just so lovely and wonderful. Thank you for the tips, advice and encouragement, Angela.
Thank you for joining us and for your kind words. I'm glad you are here. :-)
You're insights are amazing esp. about the Christianity, (I know all about Catholic guilt and unworthiness/modesty).
People think cleaners are unskilled and unintelligent and clean because they have no other options but you're proving that's just not true!
I'm also a cleaner and dumb myself down for my clients and don't often admit to all the education I've completed.
I just like cleaning because it doesn't stress me out or consume my entire life. Also lucky to have lovely clients.
Except this video has NOTHING to do with depression, which is a clinically diagnosed mental condition.
You're confusing general anxiety and lethargy with a serious mental issue, please stop.
@@blankspace178 Whatever your agenda is - maybe you should come clean about it?
(Pun intended.)
@@karadiberlino My agenda?? I'm not the one earning ad revenue by pitching fixation-based behavior patterns as anti-depressants. What this woman is doing is unethical and criminal in the U.S.. She makes unsubstantiated medical claims throughout the video and is ignoring the actual definition of depression.
General anxiety, lethargy, and emotional swings are NOT depression.
Depression is a clinically diagnosed mental condition, that requires professional medical help. Telling someone to engage in fixative-behaviors is the last thing a professional would do, because it causes the patient to see their fixation or lack thereof as another symptom, which only exacerbates a depressive state.
Your depressed, clean your house, you'll feel better.
*doesn't clean house
*now sees dirty house as a negative
*mental health further damaged
^^This is why you can't introduce a rewards system into depression, you're literally feeding the underlying problem.
When I’m overwhelmed with the amount of cleaning I need to do, I like to start a load of laundry and start the dishwasher. Kind of makes me feel like I’m multitasking when really the machines are doing the hard work for me. Makes it feel like I was more productive.
I just did this today. Almost Xmas Eve feeling low. Knew had to do something.
Oh for a washing machine and dish washer. I dont like doing dishes. My washer & dryer dont work. To have these things would help me tremendously. It would take care of a ton of the mess I struggle with.
Yep...i feel you sis ! Me too
Yes!
Yep. At those times, doing some “easy,” machine-assisted housecleaning is helpful. Even using a lightweight vacuum cleaner on the door mats helps me. I had to dump the huge heavy exhausting vacuum cleaner in order to clean more often.
You know more about how it feels to be depressed than most doctors
Thank you for your video.
I have never heard anything more spot on. I got super emotional because no one has ever validated what I go through everyday. I am SO ashamed that I can’t tidy my house. I’m suffocating in it. I have started therapy and medication but it’s a slow process..like trudging through quicksand.
I hope you're doing better now
I'm in the same situation. There are days that I am able to do more but some days I don't even want to get up. Sigh. I'm just taking things one step a a time I guess. This was great advice though!
Keep your chin up :) you can do it!
OCFam hang in there, it takes time, and baby steps.
Glad it helped you, but having been flooded with walk, walk, walk advice after my second stillbirth I found it truly irresonsible. Waking MIGHT help SOME people, but all it did for me was an added burden to my schdule while fatibues and help drop my weight, along with lack of appetite, to anorecix levels. This myth is so entrenched that it becomres another club to beat people with depression with (She is still sad? Why doensat she just exercise more!) I truly hate this "got it all figured out - just walk" response to a tremendously difficult and multi-faceted problem.
This advice is excellent and also applies to someone grief-stricken as well as those who are depressed.
Thank you for your input, I appreciate it!
It's a vicious cycle...messy home makes you more depressed because it's all so overwhelming. Great advice!
I am glad you found the advice helpful and appreciate you leaving a comment. 👍
I’m crying, this makes me feel less alone
Sending you hugs Kaylin...remember you are not alone!
This video is important for so many of us having a hard time being happy and taking care of ourselves as we should. Kaylin, I hope you feel better.
You aren’t alone me and my daughter have the same issues
You are not alone.
My dog died this morning near my Christmas tree. She was my bestie and I am so depressed. My housework seemed futile till I found your video. I can do this now. Thank you so much 🙏
Beau Crawford oh...your poor doggie...and POOR YOU. Good luck in following her ideas! Take baby steps. I read a story about a girl who had an assignment where she had to write a theme paper about 100 different birds. She let it go and let it go. Finally the paper was due soon and she cried. Her father advised her to just start doing it. She said how can I ever hope to get it done. He said to her “One bird at a time.” This will be the same.
Beau Crawford I am so sorry for your loss! I know how horrible it is to lose a beloved animal!
So sorry for your loss. My beloved dog passed in August. I know how you feel. I took a photo of her lying under the tree last Christmas so I've framed it and have it under the tree now. She will always be in my heart.
Now instead of having an angel on top of the tree you have an angel under the tree
@@rebeccagreen7241 That's true ❤
3 years after this was made, this has just made an enormous difference to me. I'm in overwhelm and my house is a disgrace and you are right, the guilt that comes with it is a big part of the depression spiral. This is fantastic, compassionate and realistic advice. Thank you so much xx
Gill, Thanks so much for watching. I’m routing for you! 🤗
Hope you are doing better today
Maybe it was fate that brought you to this video. It's been a month. How are things going for you? I'm curious. You should post an update on your progress.☺
The guilt! It’s a torture- I don’t have words to explaining it. I don’t even know, how to come out of it.
But in a way, it has helped me to be strong and stay strong. To stay positive and to fight on with confidence, I can do it.
Thinking positive is as hard as washing the dishes, but it’s not impossible.
I hope someday you will get the strength to do little by little to clean your house. Don’t give up-you can do it 💕
@@thebewitchinghour831 it was definitely fate. Just being understood makes you feel like you are not alone and that makes so much difference.
I'm gradually working through things. Washing 5 dishes at a time or washing what I use plus one more,. Bought an air dryer that's in my bedroom and you put things in hangers so I literally take the clothes out of the drier and out straight into the wardrobe.
It's about putting things in perspective and not feeling so guilty. It took 3 years for my house to become so horrendous so if it takes 3 months or 6 months or 3 years to get it back to normal then I am still winning.
Depression is hard because it impacts on so much of life and has not only psychological but physical symptoms. It's OK to feel like crap, it's not great but it's your body' way of telling you that you need to take some time for you and trying to push through it will only deplete your already depleted resources. My daughter calls it 'spoons', the emotional, physical and mental energy we all have. Some people, for whatever reason, have less spoons per day or per week or per month. Don't go into spoon overdraft, use the amount of spoons ypu have and them be gentle with yourself.
I’m literally bawling my eyes out watching this.
Thank you. Thank you for not judging us. And understand us. And helping us.
A brisk walk isn’t possible for me with chronic illness and pain. That’ll wipe me out. But small tasks and using my energy wisely is invaluable.
I can’t afford a house cleaner,
But I certainly like a clean and tidy home.
I’m super grateful for you.
I would suggest still getting outside. Maybe sitting in a garden or something. Looking at trees lifts peoples moods. Getting some sunlight, vitamin D also boosts mood. So I’d suggest having a tea or coffee outside in the mornings. It helps you wake up and feel good
Ruby Madeline , I have chronic pain (CRPS) and found a walk really hard, I started dealing with my depression by going out into my garden to sit down and just breathe. Slowly, over months, I managed to walk around the garden, eventually getting to even pulling some weeds. It took a few years, but now I take my dog for a daily brisk walk of around 1.5 to 2 kilometres. It has made a difference to my depression and to my capacity to deal with chronic pain. And I investigated home help through my local council, which is (significantly) subsidised in my locality for people with disabilities.
Amen ! You're NOT alone ! Especially when dealing with physical limitations & pain on Top of depression.
Angela responded to this almost immediately after I made the comment. My internet glitched and my reply did not end up sending. But it seems Angela’s comment has been deleted? It was a beautiful comment about going for a walk and just a lovely message showing empathy and consideration for those of us dealing with chronic illness. Just wanted to let you know Angela, that I DID see your comment, and my phone has been playing up. I didn’t ignore it. And it meant so much to me. Because cleaning is something that brings me joy and it depresses me that I can’t dive in and do what I want to do without extreme physical pain or the consequences of being bedridden after the fact.
Eg. I do the dishes. Put a load of washing on. And have a shower. By the time I have a shower, and my
Washing is reading to be hung out. I’m in so much pain from the shower. I have a 30 min rest and hang out the washing. And then look at the sink and there’s 9 dishes to hand wash and I want to cry. Because then I need to wash and dry the sink and kitchen surfaces.
Chronic illness is tough. And it’s really reassuring to know that other people understand what I’m going through and don’t judge.
Sometimes it’s a matter of leaving something for a few hours, while I rest my body. I am lucky I have a spouse who works full time,
Comes home and sees that the dishes aren’t done sometimes and feels awful for me because he knows I’m in pain, so he does them and then cooks dinner.
I’m sick of being sick. And I’m going to practice more self care. Even small walks in fresh air
Even if it’s for 5 minutes to start off. I’ll add a bit extra on every few days until I’m able to go for a decent brisk walk.
This video really did help me. Mentally and physically. Last week I went into my mums pool and did laps so it wasn’t so physically draining. Afterwards I was tired but I was also proud of myself for doing what i did.
So thanks Angela. Your comment may have disappeared (dunno how😂) but I remember the gist of it and If you have anymore tips for cleaning whilst dealing with chronic pain, I’d be desperate to hear them. Xoxo
Also massive thank you to the three commenters who have left supportive and helpful comments. I’m going to take that board and implement what I physically can. I live in a depressing fifth floor apartment with no yard. But my New Years resolution is a doable one: get a new place with a yard
So I can have a garden. And then I can get outdoors, get fresh air and vitamin D. I am so thankful for such wonderful and kind people like you all. Xx
This lady is more informed on depression than doctors in my town :(
You are so sweet. I've seen lots of people over the years rise from the abyss and getting to work in their homes has been enlighting as to what works for them and what they tried that doesn't work as well. In any event, depression is a struggle that requires everything you've got most of the time.
Are you sure that your housecleaning business isn't a front for a covert therapy operation?
Being on TH-cam, it might be hard for me to do anything covert, lol! But thank you for taking the time to write in and suggest it : )
@@AskAngelaBrown yes you are an amazing lady we love you
Yes she really understands depression, worry, anxiety. Can you do more videos on this? We need it.
😅
A stranger telling me I'm worthy of a clean house made me cry. A stranger UNDERSTANDING THAT I NEEDED TO HEAR THAT made me cry even harder. This is the best thing I've seen in awhile. Thank you, Cleaning Lady!!
Thank you so much for taking the time to write this comment and for your kind words. I'm so glad that the video was helpful to you. Hope you are well. Sending you positive thoughts, prayers and hugs. 😊🙏🤗
Who listen to this video 2019 just before 2020 . Wow needed this . 😢😢
We can do this.
@@ShaniTheBurningTree Yes we can
@Esther D yes 👍🏽
One day at a time sister ???
@@shondamccoy3 One minute at a time for me.
The part about taking a brisk walk made me cry because it's so true that that is the hardest part and your empathy for that just really got me right in my feelings
I wish you lived close, we'd go walking together. :-)
I’m definitely right there especially since Covid
When you said to go for a brisk walk, I just broke down. Lying in my bed all day long surrounded by the mess makes me feel like a total failure, like I don’t deserve fresh air and dopamine. Thank you, this was helpful 🤍
Hey Katy, I'm sending you a big virtual hug. You do deserve fresh air and dopamine - and not to scare you but your heart is a pump that operates the blood flow to your vital organs. BUT, your lymphatic system doesn't have a pump it relies on exercise and movement (and plenty of water) to function. my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/21199-lymphatic-system Get out and go walking my friend as if your life depends on it - it does. ❤🙏😀
You totally deserve it Katy, hang in there 💖
You are wrong Katy Bug. You deserve fresh air and so so so much more. Tell yourself that over and over. Sending big hugs and lots of love ❤️. WE CAN OVERCOME. I'm committing to walking everyday for the rest of June. Will you accept my challenge? WE CAN!! WE DESERVE THE BEST LIFE HAS TO OFFER!!
@@psb12121 that’s so sweet of you 🥺 I do accept the challenge! And the weather is perfect for enjoying every moment of life 🥺💛
@@katyreadsbooks1531 yay!! Starting tomorrow?
It's not God or church that makes me feel unworthy, it's my upbringing in a violent alcoholic home that does.
A mom that always found something wrong even when we cleaned it spotless.
Thank you for helping me identify the feeling of unworthiness and it's association to depression. Awareness is the 1st step.
Oh no, I'm so sad you experienced this and pray that as an adult you have a happier, safer environment. You deserve that, as well as a clean, beautiful place to live. I'm sending you a big virtual hug. 🤗
Same but it was my bully tyrant father. Still today as an adult.
He's a miserable spiritually ill person... traumatized & damaged through the atrocities of war & its impovershing after-effects throwing people into eternal poverty & a broken infrastructure that propagates immigration to western capitalist countries where their education doesn't count & end up in menial industrial labour jobs living a life of proving one's worth & decision to emigrate by having a perfectly clean & organized home.
Humanity learns NOTHING from its collective history.
Hopefully, as individuals, we can repair the damage passed onto us & one by one make a better world that honours the value of EVERY person & life-form.
God helps me not discourages me.
@@kathywilliams2685 God may help you but it is the _Humans_ who claim to know him and what he wants that are the ones that instill Guilt and try to destroy your self esteem.
We really do not require Middlemen or Women to converse with Deity.
@@birgip.m.1236 As an immigrant from a poor (in the 70s) country to an anglo-saxon country, my mother as a housewife and abundant energy had her house spotless. I was trained "as a girl" to clean the house, bathrooms, bedrooms every Saturday while my brothers cut the grass every now and then (I had to make their beds and clean their bedrooms too). With depression I have that horrible, horrible guilt that my home is dirty and I keep hearing my mother´s critical voice and all the arguments we had over why I had to clean and my brothers didn´t. It all fell on deaf ears. So my home is a pig sty, part in rebellion, part out of tiredness and depression. The shame of not living up to her standards never leave you, even though I´ve had a career, etc. Thanks for putting this in perspective for me. So true.
Thank you for spreading kind loving advice instead of judgement. It was getting professional cleaners in for a starter clean a few years ago that kickstarted my road to recovery. I became so overwhelmed that I had three people work on it for a whole day. But after that I had a cleaner come for three hours a week and it helped give me a reason to tidy everything before she got there. I know cleaners are often looked down upon but you can actually save lives. I remember she'd come to my house first thing on a Wednesday so I'd run to the shop and get some croissants and we'd have breakfast together before she cleaned. I finished University because of that stability and structure and I will forever be grateful to that woman and the fantastic job she did.
This is such a wonderful story and I appreciate you sharing it. Thank you! 🤗
That is great, esp if you can afford it. I moved into a horrible apt.
I would be willing to bet this advice is either from experience or she knows someone close to her who has had this battle. Wonderful empathy and insight. I go from being ridiculously tidy to not being able to get up off the couch. Right now I am in the shame cloud because I have let the house go. I appreciate this advice so much. ❤️
Hey Jennifer, welcome to the show, and thanks for your kind words. At times in our lives, we all suffer from stress, depression, PTSD, loss, grief, overwhelm, or any other assortment of emotions that trigger survival mode without much else to show for it, but the mere survival itself. Please don't be ashamed if you are moving through one of these times. You're moving through it and that is worth celebrating. I'm sending you a big virtual hug and cheering you on. 🤗🙏👏
@@AskAngelaBrown Some times just constant pain is a “ Big Bear “
to fight, the accomplishment of ONE thing in a day IS a lot, also rewarding.
Try not to beat yourself up. It just creates shame. I like to say " I was already feeling bad. Why do I have to feel bad about feeling bad? But then, get up and go walk or exercise at home. Whichever is more uplifting!
You are definitely not alone!
What a beautiful soul you have. I lost both parents this year & I’m turning 50. All natural parts of life but still I wake up every morning already feeling defeated & useless. My house is going to hell & so is my body. I need to pull it together.
I’m so grateful that this video popped up in my feed.
I’m just reading this message that you wrote a year ago. Hope you are managing through the grieving process and are doing well.
You are beautiful Mitch. 😯
Do you have an Instagram?
Hey Mitch
I’m just reading this now..I am turning 50 this year as well and just lost my mom and my dad just had a heartattack. I would love to know how ur doing now...You sounded like you were going through exactly what I am right now 😥
Thank you for posting this. I am trying to crawl out of my depression and my house is a wreck. I feel like a failure as a single mom. Thank you for making me feel like I can try. Like it's ok. I cried during this video like a baby.
Me too.
Holding back tears right now cuz the guilt is unbearable
This really spoke to me, you can really feel that she actually understands depression and doesn't think you're just "lazy" like my sister used to think, I do keep up with my home now that I have a child but I totally get how depression works because my apartments before having my child and even as a child I was messy in my room BUT was forced to clean the rest of the house every single day I had a chore in a pretty big house (Monday had to clean both bathrooms top to bottom, Tuesday I had to clean the kitchen EVERYTHING, Wednesday I had to clean my uncle's room, Thursday had to vacuum the entire house, Fridays I had to dust and wipe everything down and weekends were whatever work had to be done outside like I had to mow and weed wack both front and back yards and then clean up the yards) I felt like Cinderella doing deep cleaning of the home EVERY week and my sister NEVER had to clean anything "cuz she was older and had basketball after school" do you know many extra curricular activities I would have loved to have done but couldn't cuz to go home from school every single day and clean! I had to clean the whole house even my uncle's room (he raised us) but as a child CONSTANTLY having to clean, once I left I wanted nothing to do with cleaning, but as I've gotten older and now have a child of my own I keep a clean home but I don't wanna push my daughter either and make her hate cleaning, she is 7 and cleans some things but I DON'T force her to clean the whole house like I had to do as a child, I put some music on and we both clean obviously she's young so she does what she can but I'm proud of her and myself she's my rock and what keeps pushing me to do the rights things❤️
I’m so glad you liked the video’s message. Thank you for sharing your story. Sending hugs to you and your little helper. 🤗
Holy crap, this gal gave more helpful advice in 13 minutes than my therapist did in about 8 months
Thank you for writing such a kind compliment and for watching my video. ❤️
I'm thinking the same thing. Two years of therapy discussing this same issue, and my therapist never gave me this much guidance.
I didn't take my initially slow slide into depression seriously and thought it was a brief "bump" That I would get over...then serious health issues among other things started building up and the clutter and mess in my apartment began ro reflect the chaos in my life. 7 years later I found this video and feel like I'm listening to someone who's had a camera into my life and I'm in tears. Thank you so much for this video.
I'm so sorry for all you are going through. Thank you for watching the show and for taking the time to write a comment : )
Hugs love! Me too. Now I'm almost an invalid and it hurts to clean. Compound the shame, it's a lot. She is very compassionate!
Same, I'm fighting back the tears
This lady says it exactly true
Best creepypasta ever
Thank you Rachel : )
I put on my shoes 👟 immediately and went, (actually forced), myself to go for a walk! It truly was amazing to me just how much better I felt❣️ I did 1 chore & rewarded myself with going to the beach, something I wouldn’t do because I knew that I should be cleaning rather than relaxing! I’m making new & additional recordings now throughout the day❣️ Thank you everything you said fit me to a tee! I look forward to learning to love myself again❣️🫶🏼🥰
This is wonderful, I am so happy for you. Keep me updated on your progress. 🤗
That's fantastic. We should reward ourselves. We all spend so much time beating ourselves up. We are our worst enemies most of the time. I'm glad that you're staying positive. If you feel yourself falling just come back and listen to the video again.
As a depressed person, I always do something like this. One task every day, load the dishwasher, run one load of laundry, make the bed, etc. If I do this, my house stays clean and organized because I have good days when I can do more things. By doing this, along with meds and other therapy, it helps keep my depression in check. On bad days, and even after 15 years of working on my depression I still have bad days, I only do this one thing and sometimes go back to bed, but most of the time now this one things leads to more things. Thanks for this video!!!
Hope you feel better.
I think you are doing great! Well done on balancing the good and bad days. You set a great example (to me anyway -> chronically depressed and losing the uphill battle regularly)
Grinnn, welcome to super-hero-status ;) you've earned it.
J. Seldin Scarfo
i hear you. you must have some serious trauma. i been struggling most of my life. i’m 48.
Seeing this video and some of the heartwarming replies she has left on people's comments has made me feel so good. What an amazing person! She is definitely not your average cleaning lady!
Oh my goodness Angela!! I am hysterically crying right now. Everything you said in this video is me to a tee. I've suffered with major depression for over 30 years I've been on every type of medication I've been through years and years and years of therapy, psychologists, psychiatrists, you name it I've done it. Nothing has helped and nobody really understood it or understood me until you just did right now in this video!! You completely nailed it. You described my entire life my entire situation, what is going on with me, how I feel, and the overwhelming shame of all of it. How could you know so much about me and all these professionals I've been saying for all these years never got it. And prescribing me a little magic pill didn't make it all go away either. But you know what? I'm listening to this video over and over and over and over again. And first thing tomorrow morning, I'mm going to get up and I'm going to go for that brisk walk and I'm going to start again! I asked my doctor once how long should I walk for? How do I know what my target should be? how many miles? Or how many minutes to walk for? He replied "you walk until you're sweating and cussing then you turn around and you walk back!" I just want to thank you for this video. And God bless you, and you have really you have pretty much saved my life. You have given me hope.
Hi Joan, I'm so glad we connected, and you're not alone. We're all in this together. There is a tape th-cam.com/video/n13ZBvaCMjw/w-d-xo.html that was designed to listen to on the brisk walk (1.5 speed) or as you are going to bed at night (normal speed) that is one of those tapes mentioned in the video. I do recommend making your own tape so it will be specific to your needs, but you can listen to this one for ideas on what to include. This is the one I personally listen to when sleeping at night and it just plays all night quietly in the background. My husband benefits from listening to it as well. Please keep me posted on how you're doing. I'm here rooting for you and sending you a big virtual hug. 🤗🤗🤗
Joan I hope you went for that walk, and maybe a few more after then too!
I got thru post partum depression by walking. If I did nothing else that day, I walked. It meant I had to get dressed enough to leave the house and some days that was as far as I could get but over time it made a big difference. 2 steps forward 1 back sometimes but forward overall. I hope you're doing well!
I understand ....
I’m just imagining one day you set out to walk and don’t find yourself sweating and cussing and just never turn around 😂
She is a genius. This lady understands how our mind works and how to trigger our minds to stay active. This video is so helpful and refreshing to our minds with valuable knowledge. I was just searching for motivation to clean my room faster and this video came up: I am glad I watched this video. ✌️❤️
Glad it was helpful! And thank you for taking the time to comment, I appreciate it! Sending hugs.🤗
I drag my carcass out of bed and force myself to do a 15 min workout with lots of deep breathing and stretching. After that I feel like I have enough energy to clean something. Yesterday I managed to clean the kitchen floor and some work surfaces ...I got into momentum and managed the bathroom floor and sink too. ....after that I felt my energy drop but I was happy I had managed something. The exercise does help even though its soooo hard to start.
Yay! You are awesome for your accomplishments. Wishing you continued good health and happiness. 🤗
This was the best video I've ever seen regarding cleaning and depression. You have truly described the effects of depression on a person and their home. Wow! Thank you for this!
You are so welcome. I appreciate you taking the time to write me a comment.
Really needed this during Covid times. Been beating myself up about having a messy house when I’m pretty much home 24/7
The entire world is experiencing this now. You're not alone. Thanks for watching. I'm sending you a big virtual hug. :-)
Yes.....stuck in and slept.
Wow. Your channel being recommended to me is a sign from the universe. I have depression, anxiety and ADHD and I really struggle with cleaning - even more so since losing a loved one to cancer. I want to clean, feel overwhelmed by it and give up - which puts me in a cycle of guilt, anxiety and depression all over again. Tackling cleaning often feels like trying to climb a mountain without limbs - and not many people understand this. I'm very happy to have found your channel.
+Sunrise5 I love your handle Sunrise5. 🥰 Thanks for finding me here and spending a few minutes of your day with me. 💛🙏💛
everything I was about to write, you wrote, from the loss of a loved one (my mom) to cancer to the guilt cycle. I'm crying right now watching this cause she gets it, you get it, and I'm not alone..
@@marjallahhaze1893 stay blessed beautiful soul…wishing everyone reading this enormous strength and all the best in life❤️
I am in the same place. Appreciate your honesty. Sending good vibes.
I am attempting to do a bit of cleaning today...having coffee and this was in my feed. I needed this today. Not sure about the walk tho, where I live is pretty dangerous...
Update...I did go for a brisk walk 3 houses left, 3 houses to the right....it's a start....Btw it's warm and lightly snowing.....beautiful and peaceful. Still dark cause it's around 7 am....something I would have missed without your motivation.
Thanks for making this video....one step at a time....
Happee Daze you can do this ❤️😘
That's awesome! 💛
Happy for you. Yes, it is a start, ❤️😊
You got this, I’m routing for you!
Somehow she understands depression more than my actual therapist. This video is amazing.
Also, my mom is a clean freak and I grew up in the church. Very interesting.
Wow!! Double whammy
Girl, you didn’t have a chance! Lol
Im with you on this moms a clean freak and grew up goimg to churches !😩
Same here y'all! Clean freak mother and grew up going to church ..
I’ve been super depressed. Showering is a struggle. My house definitely needs cleaning.
\i am also very depressed - I stopped cleaning my house in October, and I havent taken a shower, or washed my hair since Xmas. And I dont know why this is happening...Delia
Bibbles1956. I’m sorry you’re going through this. I hope you feel better soon. Sending you positive vibes.
@@bibbles1956 do you have pain anywhere? Please see a doctor.
I think this has been the best of all videos.
The compassion in her voice is like she truly understands and loves you no matter what.
I’m going to save this for the dark days when I just can’t cope.
Thank you xx
Thank you so much for your kind words!! Save the video and replay anytime you need it. Sending hugs.🤗
I am not depressed and I keep my house up within reason, so I clicked this just to see what she had to say. This is surprisingly well informed and I have a lump in my throat with the understanding and empathy put in this episode. I did not expect this. I really feel like this is information I can use. I have friends and family members that do suffer from depression and other mental illnesses. Well done.
Thank you for your kind compliment and for sharing your comment with me. 🤗
@@AskAngelaBrown Renee hit the nail on the head
Talking a walk is seriously good advice.. I have "high functioning" depression but have been putting off cleaning for the better part of the year. It sucks living in a sh*thole and feeling nasty for putting on the same tshirt, but it's exhausting to clean and I always put it off. I've been offered help but I'm too proud and think I can manage it. Example is I had made my bed, but a week or two later there's already junk and piles of clothes on the bed. So infuriating, because the behavior is automatic and you are constantly exhausted mentally. Walking improved my well-being without being as intensive as jogging, good for weight loss and insomnia which many people with depression struggle with. I'm thinking I'll follow the advice of responsible for one area only, until it feels managable, but further down the line I think I'm going to hire a cleaning person to "keep things in check". But before that I want to clean the entire space, so I don't feel this shame of the other person seing how I live , but then that becomes like a catch 22.
Hey Dan, The walk is good advice but if you keep falling into a rut you may need a mini-trampoline as well. Every hour on the hour that you're home, if you'll set an alarm and jump for 10 minutes (I know it sounds like a lot) and the alternative is to go out and walk around the block. In 6 hours you will be a new person. (Yes, you read that right, 6 mini sessions in a day) and more if you can fit it in.
Do this for 4 days in a row and your "high functioning" behaviors will skyrocket. The lymph system doesn't have a pump like the heart and to get everything moving again you need "movement." Keep me posted. You deserve a life that is shame free and celebrates the best of you.
I'm tackling "one area" now and I think part of my problem is, in the back of my mind, I'm disturbed by how tightly packed and unorganized my closet is. If I can release the feelings about my closet not being perfect then hanging up my clothes becomes the easy task that it's supposed to be. I guess we'll see. lol
That’s exactly the way I feel. When I had a house full of little kids my house was spotless, but that probably meant that I was neglecting other things with the kids. Anyway, now I need to hire somebody to clean my small house but I have to clean it first. I’m wading through dustballs and dogs hair. I’m too old to get down on my hands and knees anymore.
This describes me so well! I get something going good (like the nice made bed) and before I know it there is a pile of stuff on it that I didn't even realize I was making. It's so frustrating. I have three young children that I homeschool and care for all day, so all of my energy goes into them and cleaning up after them. Leaves me no time to work on myself, but I know it will pay off when they are well rounded adults. Anyway, just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone in how you feel.
Very good advice...but walk early! temps are in the 90s in the NE today!
"A lot of clothes piling up on the floor" *looks at both dining chairs used as coat racks, office chair having 3 sweaters, and clothes that haven't been folded in 3 months* yeah I need this video
Thank you for writing in and I am glad my video could help out. 🤗
This is probably the best, most helpful talk on this soul crushing thing called depression in context of “piling up”
So now I am getting up to get dressed and take a walk while doing the laundry.
👍♥️💙 Thanks! 😊
Thank you for your kind words! And woohoo to you for going on that walk! I hope you enjoyed it!! Keep it up, I'm rooting for you!
Can’t do anything. Husband is great. He does it all until I can. Love him so much
That’s so wonderful! Best wishes. 😊
I can relate to the guilt over not cleaning as good as my mother did. Thanks for your insightful pep talk. I am 72 years old and just recently found a housekeeper!!! A clean shower and sink is a wonderful feeling..
That is wonderful! So glad that you found a housekeeper to help you.
came for cleaning tips, left with life affirmations
I am glad the video helped. Thanks so much for watching.
2 minutes in and you’ve described my depression and lack of willingness to clean better than I ever could lol
You are not the first to mention this. But I hope the video was helpful and that you are doing well. Sending you positive vibes and hugs. 🤗😊
This is the most compassionate 'How To' I've ever watched. Thank You ❤
Glad you think so, thank you so much for your feedback and kind words!
@@AskAngelaBrown you're very welcome, keep up the great work! 👍🏾
Yes it was
She is so correct. Listen to her. As someone struggling with functional depression/anxiety due to PTSD combined with cardiomyopathy, it is exhausting for me just to keep up with life work and family, let alone clean. It is hard to feel worthy of life, but I should.
You should always feel worthy of life. Hope you are well. Sending love and hugs!😊🤗💕
Wow!! I never would have expected such amazing advice on dealing with depression from a cleaning channel. Angela you are such a wonderful and compassionate person! So understanding and full of insight. I hope you realize how many thousands of lives you have touched and helped through this very special video, including myself! A thousand thanks!! God bless you and keep up the good work!!
Thank you so much for your kind words and for taking the time to write this comment, I appreciate it! Sending blessings and hugs your way. 🙏🤗
Amen. , God Bless you Angela !!!
Not either me, until today! Thank you very much, Angela Brown Cleaning💖
My feelings exactly. Just couldnt get the words t express! Thank you 💛
I really needed to hear this. Thank you so much for this. Every time I watch a cleaning video, the women are almost super hyper, bubbly and smiling and that’s almost depressing in itself. It’s so nice to hear someone address this topic this way. We all owe you you a huge thanks and a virtual hug!
You're so welcome! I'm so glad that you enjoyed your video. Thank you for sharing your feedback, I apprecaite it!
So true
Wow, so much compassion and understanding. We need more people to have this attitude.
I watched this whole thing while lying on my floor next to a candy wrapper
LOL. This reminds me of the time I was listening to a podcast - I forget the title but it was something about consuming or minimalism. And I was eating a candybar while listening. Something that was said triggered the thought that I didn't have to finish the candybar. Like there was no need to eat all the calories in one sitting. And it stopped me in my tracks. A candybar is so small - why wouldn't you finish it? Is it possible to walk away from half a candybar? And the answer is yes: it's possible.
Sometimes things not connected to what we are hearing and seeing - are actually connected in an odd way that change our intentional outcomes. Thanks for sharing. ;-)
Lol same predicament
That's so me
Greatest comment EVER 😸😸
It's like she just looked into my soul. I lived with an extremely clean parent and I think that is what started it all. Over always struggled with keeping a clean space. I'm going to try these tips and see if I can get my life back
I have not cleaned my three story home for 5 years due to depression. I finally called my cleaning lady (I cleaned the house before she came) and I feel so much better now. Of course, the six dogs don't help! Also, my mother had "sacred" white carpet throughout our home. So as an adult, I got white carpet and just threw crap on it because I could! You are preaching to the choir here. I'm also a hoarder. Not bad but it's still there. Thank you for helping me!
Nancy I'm so glad the video was helpful! And kudos to you for cleaning up bedore the cleaning lady arrived. I hope that you are feeling better. Sening you hugs. 🤗😊
@@AskAngelaBrown Thank you so much! I have two more floors to go. Each floor is an apartment in itself. My house is too big. I can't keep up so I gave up. We'll get there.
Years ago, I was hospitalized for a couple of weeks. While I was gone, my husband had white carpet installed in the whole lower floor. We were a family of constant muddy boots (not me). I had always complained about having to wash the formerly tiled floor because of their boots. I never understood why he did that. When I got out of hospital I moved to the upstairs of the house, only coming down to get food. Finally we sold the house and separated. I never cleaned the rug, moved out before it needed a deep cleaning. It was a mean thing he did, all the while he stood there showing it to us, proud as a peacock.
I usually do the "I'll do it later" with my depression. It's still the same concept. This lady is awesome and it's the first lady I've watched from this channel.
Wow, thank you so much for your kind compliments. I appreciate you taking the time to drop me a line : )
Sitting here crying, looking thru depression videos, and this one has helped me more then all the others. Its nice to hear someone who understands how hard it is to even physically move, let alone clean. Thank u. This has given me more help and reassurance than i thought i could even find
Sending hugs and prayers your way! 🤗 🙏
As I lay in bed after some bad days of bad depression, I really needed this.
I've always been the one helping others. I don't want others to see me like this. I pride myself in being that one who helps people during hard times and I don't want anybody to think differently of me. It's really hard though. I've been through so much in the past 6 years... Working through being molested and raped from 4/5-9 years old, (holding it in until I was 31, and finally saying something when I was 38 weeks pregnant with my only child, a baby girl), then leaving a man who abused me, even raping me one night, getting me pregnant (a beautiful daughter who I wouldn't trade for the world), but I guess after trying to be strong I've just kind of crashed. My Dad passed away when I was 20 to a sudden massive heart attack and eventhough it will be 18 years this year, I still struggle with what my life would be like if he were here. I miss him so much.
Yes, I have a therapist who I see and an incredible support team, I've just kind of pretended like things are really good lately, when they aren't. Sorry for the long post. I guess I just needed to get it out in a way.
Thanks for your video. You're helping a lot of people with posting it.
❤️
Thank you for posting this. I went for a walk, came home and did the dishes. Finally having a clean sink got me motivated to clean my countertops, then my bathroom and my place is starting to look like a home again
Ramon, Congratulations on the walk and the progress in cleaning! 👏 👏
Keep up the good work and let me know how are doing down the road. 🤗
Coming from a sufferer of depression, the hardest thing to do is getting outside for a walk. But that walk energizes u. Your right on the money Angela, great talk.
Thanks so much Mari!
When I clean the first thing I hear is my mom's voice telling me (in her passive aggressive superior tone) that it's about time.
🤗
You just cleaned my soul. Thank you.
Yes, exactly!!! I was forgiven for having a dirty house! This video gives so much healing!!!
I can't believe how well you pegged me! My mom would literally freak out on us (sometimes hit us) if we didn't clean. I am a revolter...and I'm depressed. It's not a good combination. Cleaning is my biggest issue. Thanks so much for understanding and your wonderful advice.
I'm so sorry that you went thru that. But I hope the suggestions are helpful to you. Give them a try...you got this!
Thanks so much...I really appreciate your help and reply!
Saying that I do deserve it made me cry so much, thank you
You're welcome and thank you for watching. Sending hugs.🤗
I’m 25 pregnant... been through a lot.. I grew up with extremely tidy parents they also were church goers yet also abused me. They called my depression laziness and an excuse. It was so hard to get up even to take a shower. Or change. And I’m feeling ashamed because I’m supposed to be a housewife my man works so hard... and I take what I’m dealing with as laziness. I broke down today and cried. Looked up cleaning routines on TH-cam and I see all these happy mothers and wives cleaning and loving it. I just felt like what is wrong with me. Why can’t I get motivated. I can’t wait to try this trick. My question is what if the first thing is super hard? It’s a domino effect. If u don’t do the first thing or put it off... then the rest of the day is the same. And nothing gets done. I just didn’t know I wasn’t alone til now. Thankyou so much.
Mallory Leeman bless you honey❤️
@@sm.r3751 mallory...please get tested for Thyroid deficiency... if you are chronically tired...you may have a Thyroid deficiency
I did not even know this video existed. This woman knows exactly how I feel and answers my questions about myself.
Aww, I hope you found the video helpful. Sending you positive thoughts, prayers and hugs. 😊🙏🤗
This is the most beautiful video I’ve seen in a long time. I teared up. And it’s actually helpful. You’ve helped 20,000 people.