Not Just a Fad: 3 Legit Reasons to Declutter After 50!
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 ก.พ. 2023
- Minimalism is not for everyone...but if you are over 50, and even if you're not, here are 3 legit reasons to consider decluttering!
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Email: thelifetidy@gmail.com
I'm 58 years old and have been decluttering a little at a time over the past several years. I like to think of it as "picking up my toys" before I leave this earth 😊
Such a lovely way of looking at it ❤
Love that lori ❤
I had a friend , her daughter came over and cleared the house to MINIMUM! . The friend lived 2 months like this before she went home. ( heaven) . She had. A closet ; 2 dresses on hanger . Bedroom ; just the bed n it’s sheets blanket n spread. A heavy throw rug on the floor an antique chair . Bath ; was clean only necessity’s . Kitchen; only small appliances used daily . Refrigerator. Washer/ dryer. Dishes for 2 only. Center kitchen table. Living room; tv. Coffee table, 2- half sofas. Chair that the friend sat in daily. Everything was removed from the house. Manicured yard, flowers. Trees, n bushes, . She passed at home quietly. The family removed the furniture n emptied the house n sold it. (30 days prior to friend passing)
@@DannaK1207 😪
@@DannaK1207 it is sad when people handle it like that. 😢
I lived in a house for 30 years and 5 months ago I moved to a small apartment. It was THE opportunity to leave everything behind that I don't really need and it was a liberation. I'm 75 now and I've never been so free, had so much free time to myself and so little housework. Having a lot is not wealth, it is a burden. That's how I feel.
Frequent moves is a great way to force ourselves to declutter.
@@larryjones9773 We have a saying here: moving three times is one burn. I hope it is translated correctly. What is meant is that you throw away and lose things with every move.
At age 75, I can see a sense of need to begin the process of downsizing. But you wouldn't have done it at 60, though, because you still found joy in that.
R.H. - my new favorite quote is "the things you own end up owning you" from the movie FIght Club. I am 67 and in 2020 I moved 1000 miles to a wonderful place - 15 boxes by fed ex and 4 rolling suitcases on the plane. I decluttered a lot after the move and now everything fits in the back of an SUV. I feel so much lighter, so much more space and air. If you have not read or listened to "Goodbye Things" by Fumio Sasaki, it is my favorite book. I got it as my "free trial" item on audible.
@@ros8986 "the things you own end up owning you" describes exactly the feeling I had as I got older. What used to make me happy ended up paralyzing me. Now that I've gotten rid of everything I don't need, I feel free. My son won't have much work when I die.
My mom always had a full, full attic. When she died and we had to take inventory of the house we saved it for last. When we pulled down the steps, and it was empty! There was a 5 foot space for some sentimemtal items and a large stack.of nice of packing boxes! I hadn't shed tears yet for her passing but I did then. All I could think of is "My mother loves me"
I AM IN TEARS..YES THAT WAS AN ACT OF PURE LOVE..THANKS YOU FOR SHARING THE IDEA
What a beautiful gesture of her caring and respect, beyond loving. Thank you for sharing.
My mother is 97, and her house is packed with clutter. She refuses to get rid of anything except for an occasional bag of clothes for the thrift store. I dread having to clean out her place if she passes before me! Similar situation with my older sister. She's not as bad but she can't seem to part with any of her papers.
@@feliciasampson8032maybe think about getting a person who does estate sales after she passes. I have a neighbor who does them. It’s a win win. They make money, other people find good deals and you make s bit of money too and many of them will take what’s left and bring it to the thrift store for you.
Thank you for this video. It's very timely for my new situation. I've lived for many years with "keep things tidy" so I could find what I needed -. But 2 weeks ago, at 85, I began a project similar to the video and already I am feeling the benefit. My Instruction to Self is to throw away, set aside for others or put away "Something" every day. What I put away is going to be reduced in the next cycle and the ones after those. However long I wait to move to a smaller space there can only be less to take or choose from and I enjoy the satisfaction of even minute progress. I'm looking forward to your next video and more tips.
My mom was a minimalist before it was a thing. As she got older, she kept gleaning and donating. When she died at 88, the only things she really left we're some photographs, and a locked up tight trust. Miss you, Mom❤
💌
What a dream .. our parents were the opposite
Your mom loved you ❤❤❤
I am 68 and over the course of the last year and a half I decluttered my whole house. As you suggested, I started under the kitchen sink...and what an eye opener that was. I had half bottles of stuff under there that had not seen the light of day, let alone been used, for years. Over a year later and I can honestly say I have not felt a need to repurchase any of the items I ditched.
After that I tackled the rest of the kitchen, one cupboard at a time, building my (physical and mental) decluttering muscles as I went. The rest of the house followed. By the time I got to the sentimental stuff at the end, I realised that a lot of it was not actually sentimental to me any more. In fact, I no longer consider myself a sentiment person, when it comes to stuff. Even photo albums are now digitised, with SD card copies given to family members as Christmas presents, so I no longer feel obliged to curate those family memories.
I also discovered a benefit to my budget, because now I consider, long and hard, what I need to bring into my home. For the first time in my life I put money into a savings account every month, so that when I needed a new washing machine last summer I was able to purchase it outright.
The whole decluttering process was very energising, and even culminated in me decorating some rooms, because there was less furniture to move to get to the walls. Also, dusting etc. is a breeze. Sorry, this is a long comment, but I wanted to share how freeing it is to simplify life.
Yes yes yes yes yes!!! Your experience pretty much mirrors my own! So freeing. And fun, once you get used to it 😊
Excellent post, fianorian!
You are responsible for your stuff. Wow. 💡 Moment for me
So motivating..thanks❤
Thanks for your comment.
My parents were married 70 years. Lived in a large 4 bedroom home for 56 years. They didn’t collect or hoard they just had 56 years of life stuff. I was responsible for cleaning every single thing out. I lived one street away and my siblings were out of state. It was difficult for me to go through and get rid of things, but I had to. It was especially difficult with my mom’s china hutch things and my dad’s tools and golf clubs and golf things. I don’t have children and my sibling and their kids didn’t want much. It hurt my heart to take things to Goodwill. So I agree please clean out for your children. It was difficult enough disassembling my childhood home the home that I loved my whole life.
same here, very difficult thing to do. Probably less easy than them having to get rid of their things!
I agree..when it's your childhood home..its sooo hard. I basically did it myself too..
I know you’ve already done yours, but for people that haven’t, I would recommend hiring an Estate Sale Company to come in and do all the work if it’s a house full of belongings. It will take so much stress and work off of you. Yes, they take a percentage of the sales but sometimes it’s just worth it to get it done.
Lisa, you're a Champion 🏆 God bless you for taking it all on yourself. Getting rid of sentimental things is hard, most especially when they are your parents' things. I have shopped at Goodwill for it seems like forever - now my stuff is sitting among "that" stuff. It all meant something to me and I bought it cause I loved it. Hoity-toity expensive neighborhood estate sale stuff too. Gave some stuff to church rummage sales just this week, too ..... And I went to those sales - I DIDNT SEE ANY OF MY STUFF OUT AT THE SALE! Now, someone else has my good stuff that I still love. It's breaking my heart. I'm alone, no family at 65 years old, no one here to help me move crap and box it up, etc. I know I won't be here forever. Anyway, hope all's well with you. Thanks for letting me vent ❤
Lisa, I saw the same for my eldest son who had the duty of Executor of his father's estate and disposing of all his "things" especially with my other son and daughter overseas. They considered it all sellable assets they could benefit from. However they were not there to help or contribute. In my son's words he was "drowning under all Dad's stuff!"
That was enough of an experience for me to declutter now, I certainly don't want to put such a burden on him, he's a wise and gentle soul, we're very close, so we've talked about what I want and how he feels. I'm also helping him declutter his home too, and redecorate, together we're painting, and I'm teaching him all the tricks and how to paint, cutting in etc. It's a great journey to go on together.
Edit: in the end he got a charity team in to take everything away and dispose of, with proceeds to a well known charity.
On the other hand - my late mother was obsessed with having no ‘clutter’. Consequently, I have very little that belonged to my ancestors, or even my parents. Don’t be tempted to chuck everything. Please ask your relatives/kids if they want family things before you get rid of them. It might not matter to you, but it might matter to them.
Ah...good point! 1 that we may not have considered. So thank you!
Excellent point. When my mom died, my sister went thru her house and threw every single thing in her house in a dumpster. Furniture, photos, every childhood memory. She expected me to thank her because she "saved" me from dealing with it - because she learned what a bad thing that was through youtube.
I still cry almost every night.
I always ask my children if they want something before I pitch it. No matter how small, like a picture frame. I even did it when I had too many clothes hangers. They actually needed some because their family is growing as I'm now an empty nester and downsizing.
@@maryruthmonahan5180 I'm so sorry she did that. Sounds like she has no real sentimental side. In any case, she was wrong to do that without considering anyone else & discussing it 1st. And expects thanks? Huh. I have a sister like that; they'd probably get along. I don't speak to mine anymore.
@maryruthmonahan5180
Enjoyed your thoughts...
I helped my grandmother declutter when she was moving apartments. I showed her every single item so she could make her own decisions on what to keep. We packed the things she decided to keep. We layed out everything else on the floor for family to go though, to have the chance to pick out sentimental and useful items. The rest was given to goodwill. She best part for me was that I got to hear all of her storys about many of the items. I cherish that a lot. ❤
The stories ah that's a treasured gift
And yesssss it's best to let the elderly have a say in what goes. It truly helps and makes the transition or move much easier for them
I received peace just reading your message.
I can speak from experience. My parents left a house full of stuff. My mom, the neat one, passed away years before my dad. I moved to the state my dad was living in after he had an accident and needed looking after. He had cluttered all rooms in the house. His large, above garage, art studio was positively hoarded with just a path to a few areas. I quickly, 6 hours of moving fast, filled 8 lawn and garden bags with junk! That was the easy part. Then it was going through items if some value. We are still dealing with 15 years of my moms homemade quilts and the original art they purchased. I know this is first world problems. I just want to state that it is a real issue. My dad had well over 500 books alone. I look forward to your ideas on how to deal with sentimental items especially. At 59 I have my own lifetime of stuff and I feel trapped by it. Thank you and I look forward to your other videos!
You are telling my story! My dad had saved every box, every childhood school paper, the clothing of his mom and my mom's mother. Full three story house, basemant, plus attic in garage stuffed full. We had to force our way into some rooms. It took 18 dumpster load, several estate sales, and 8 months to clear it. My sisters and I made the decision to clear our own houses so our kids don't have to.
Donate so others can enjoy, that’s your freedom.
@@annesmith6582be extremely careful with estate sale businesses. I met one old lady who was hugely cheated by one. A friend had referred her to them.. Furious, she got an axe and chopped up an armoire or something. But too late.
😊
Not just a first world problem. If no money is available, they will hold onto papers, books, magazines, all the "i might need it someday" the last one being even worse when you don't have money to replace items easily. Thinking about my grandma, she managed to fill her house and is going to be hard when the time comes
Am about to turn 48 and have had this mindset and been doing this for the last 8 years. No matter what age you are, tomorrow is never a guarantee
This really resonated with me. I am 68 and have decluttered for years. However, I have seen others go into nursing homes and how difficult it was. A couple of weeks ago, my husband's uncle died in his flat. He owns the building so he had no limits. He was a hoarder. He rarely had anyone over, although my husband went over and helped him whenever he needed it. The flat, 3 floors, is full and absolutely filthy from him being a heavy smoker. Everything is brown. He made no arrangements for his funeral, and they are having to go thru innumerable boxes to find a will or something. I am washing his clothes, the ones that are donatable. They had to get a lawyer, pay for his funeral, and it is going to take them a year to clean this place up and sell his properties. What a HUGE burden he put on my husband and his 5 siblings. I always found him to be a very very nice man, but now my feelings are changing. It was irresponsible of him to not take help, which was offered, and clean up his place, even a little, in his later years. This has made me rethink MY belongings, and dive deeper into getting rid of a lot of my stuff. I think everything you said in this video is spot on, and I will NOT leave a mess for my children.
As someone that has a hard time decluttering sometimes it's hard to ask for help. Just a thought
Get a dumpster and toss it all in. Have you watched any hoarder videos? They show how it's done. No point in going through things with a fine-toothed comb. It's not worth the time and energy required, imho.
@@claudiabettina I love the show hoarders. I have suggested that they get a dumpster. The problem is they won't. They cannot find his will, or the deeds to his properties so they can sell them. They cannot get into his bank accounts to pay for his funeral, or dumpsters. His apparent heir, my mother-in-law, is in a nursing home and is mentally incapable of anything. They do not want their uncle's assets to all go to the nursing home. They don't know whom he left anything to. They don't know if he left his building to anyone. There is confusion about everything. He has a close friend and they want to know if he left everything to her, so she can have it. They are just a slow moving group. Some of them, my husband's siblings, haven't even shown up to help yet. My husband and his one sister have taken on most of the burden. I am not close with them so I am pretty much staying out of it. But is has greatly affected me as far as thinking about what I am leaving for my children to sort thru, and in getting MY affairs in order, pre-paying for my funeral, etc.
@@margiemurray2147 Yes, that is true. He was, however, close with my husband and did call and ask for help sometimes. For example, he had a problem with one of his windows. He could not GET to the window. My husband went right over and they fixed it. He was told every so often that they would help him, and he needed to get his affairs in order and they would help him clean up. He never would. Not sure why. I am so sad he died alone in that mess.
@@margiemurray2147I’m sure. I’m also sure it’s harder for the lived ones left behind to deal with the mess.
We bought a home that was being sold by 3 older adult sibilings, both parents deceased. The bickering and fighting about who got what was horrible. Neither parent designate which child or grandchild should inherit a specific thing, hence the arguments.
I'm in my mid 30s and still raising kids but I totally think about this and constantly decluttering. This stems from the fact my parents have SOOO MUCH CRAP! They are getting older and have a big house and multiple garages FULL of crap. The thought of having to go through their crap at some point is absolutely overwhelming, not only that but I just don't have time to deal with any of it. Thanks to all the older people who take their children into consideration and actively declutter!
Yes. I have been purging accumulated stuff for months. Some goes in the trash, some donated and some will be sold in a yard sale (hopefully). My adult kids don't need to dread dealing with my junk. They already will have to help their dad with his parents' hoard. I mean two houses full of stuff, crap and junk. It's going to be awful.
You can always use some of the proceeds from your inheritance to hire someone to just clear it all out.
@@lesw3803 umm...what inheritance?!?
I go through this process regularly and definitely every 3 years - preparing for a Memorial Day garage sale - even sent invites out to family and neighbors to bring things over to my home to help them declutter-
@@lesw3803 inheritance. Is that even a thing anymore? 🤣🤔
You're a very wise woman. My motto is: Keep the best and ditch the rest. I donate to a thrift store that supports cat charities. I don't have the patience or desire to deal with selling things to people, I'd rather give it away. Getting rid of stuff makes keeping my house clean and tidy so much easier. You've said it all, thank you for this video. Great job!
I'm with you on 'selling' stuff. My late husband and I had ONE garage sale and made $4,000, but it wasn't worth it to me. I did not enjoy one thing about the process. I'd much rather donate everything, because a lot of unfortunate people lose everything to fires, storms, natural disasters and have to start from scratch, so I'd rather help someone in that way.
I agree with you about not selling stuff to people. After having yard sales some years ago, sometimes people really don’t want to pay at all. It’s a hassle and who needs to deal with people who aren’t planning to spend money; they want you to give it to them!
I will donate most everything I have if my son or grandkids don’t want any of it. The only thing I will sell is my good jewelry that I don’t pass down. Actually, the house goes to my son so he could sell it furnished or rent it if he wanted to.
I have given away so much stuff but it's all good. Some people do well selling stuff but it's a pain. I just learned about a wonderful thrift shop here in southern NH that employees people with special needs. It's my new go to for donating and shopping.
I donate too no matter how much I paid for the item as selling is such a hassle having had issues with scams.
Amen! My husband & I had to move his parents (80's) into assisted living last year-we had to clear out a 4000 sq.ft. house + the attic, boxes of my father in law's notebooks from grade school, signature books from various funerals, 2 trailer loads hitched to a pick up truck were taken to the dump. Several trailer loads taken to a charitable organization. My husband's siblings came to get what they wanted. I sold much through an online estate sale with profit going to them. My in laws could not physically or mentally assist. I was so angry that they dumped all responsibility on my husband who also had to sell the house and a pontoon boat! We also live 2 hours away from their property. Then deal with many estate planning aspects that had been neglected. I will never do this to my children. I began decluttering during 2020 when I retired early. I make it a point to go through the declutter process annually (includes the attic!) with the mindset "if we were packing to move, would I want to take this?". Needless to say, my husband is 100% on board as well.
Good for you. You state that they were physically and mentally unable to assist. You took it upon yourself to clean out the whole house. But you're angry at THEM for being physically and mentally unable to assist? You're angry? For not making things easier for You. I was the executor for my stepfather's estate. He was a hoarder, the kind on Hoarders. I worked 2,000 miles away. I have high functioning autism. I'm a minimalist. The chais in his home made me physically literally sick, but I wasn't angry at him because he couldn't help it with his mental illness. I simply hired a liquidator to take care of it with the proceeds of the contents they sold. Being angry at people for being physically and mentally unable is pretty mean. If you want to take on that big job remember that you chose to do so, no one made you do it. You were dumped on? No. You chose to do it and could have hired others to do it or refuses being a guardian or executor, etc. But now you can tell everyone how wonderful you are to have done it with angry resentment. That was their lives in that home. It was a different time. I feel sorry for them having such an angry, resentful, perfect d-i-l. Gold star for you not leaving a lot for your kids to sort through or hire someone else to do it. Maybe just don't do things you feel angry about/resent doing...THAT'S decluttering.
@@ArtemisSilverBow I was angry because they dumped all this on my husband (not me),when they & their other children had YEARS to take care of this. I did the work to support my husband because he was doing it alone otherwise. He was under incredible physical and mental strain. I suggested hiring someone to liquidate but the siblings would not agree to do that and my husband wanted to keep the peace. The in laws are not mentally ill, they are mentally old and there were many hurtful things they said and did during this time, the least of which was call me a "spic". I have decluttered nasty people from my life.
I can relate, even though it was a 1200 sq ft condo and then an assisted living apartment. My mother never threw anything out. Some of their stuff I brought home and have to go through. Going through the pictures will be the most difficult.
So relatable decluttering for a mother with alzheimers who has apt stuffed and refuses to declutter .....I slowly throw out with a small bag so she doesn't notice otherwise she gets extremely rude
Artemis. My, but aren't you the judgey type.
I think the worst thing about having too much stuff is the maintenance. It seems part of the nightmare of cleaning out your parents stuff is worthlessness of their things due to not taking care of it. Things became dirty, contaminated, crushed, unbleached, moldy, etc.; not even recyclable or donatable. My goal is to keep what I decided to keep in good enough condition that it will be salable or donatable when the time comes.
Preach it, Sister! My siblings and I had to deal with our mother's three homes when she was gone. We too swore to one another, "I will never do that to my children." It took me a while to get around to it, but when Covid shut down all my other activities I knew it was time. Two years later I noticed how peaceful and easy-care my house had become. Almost three years later I had to severely downsize due to changes in my health, and the work I had done made the decision of what to take so incredibly easy! Do it. Do it for your kids, yes, but do it for you too!
I'm 46 and we do not have children. We want to adopt, but even so, I wouldn't want to be a burden or have my stuff be a burden. My husband and I had to declutter and sell my mother's house - and it broke her to see everything she had saved for me for 40 years, just go because I lived in another country and didn't need anything. This is such sensible advice. Thank you.
My mother has stickers on everything that has someone’s name. Friends, kids, grandchildren and nieces or nephews. She doesn’t keep a lot of knickknacks. Just art and window ledge things. She’s almost 90.
My nephew was cleaning his mother’s house recently and she had a closet FULL of toilet paper from a decade ago. She’s been gone for 5 years. His dad has cancer so he’s trying to care for him. He said if he had known about the toilet paper during 2020, he could have been RICH!
(lol).............that ref to the toilet paper made me laugh.............
Yes😂😂😂
I must add: selling our items now to use in today’s economy has been a very good idea. Younger people want cash, not antiques. This I have already experienced with a niece a few years ago. She didn’t want the antique quilts I owned. She asked me what they were worth. She wanted the money for vacation.
So: I did sell the quilts and made $3500. And WE went on vacation instead!!
Let the younger people earn their own way. We did. And now we are totally looking at this from a different perspective. We donate to our church, various causes we are interested in, and take trips.
DO NOT think your things will always be appreciated by family. Enjoy your life. You have earned it.
Pat in Colorado
also thinking of number 4. The risk of tripping over something and falling. This risk increases as we age due to vision and balance issues and often leads to broken bones and then death within a short time. If we keep our floors completely clear and always put things back in their predictable places we reduce the risk significantly.
That is an awesome point! Permission to included in future videos??
Glad you brought this up. It was literally my first thought. I’m only 65 but certainly don’t want to trip and fall….I don’t bounce back up anymore. My son and I have already talked about this and I’ve been fairly successfully, ruthlessly getting rid of stuff for a few yrs now.
It also helps when you have mental decline too.
I just discovered this video and am thrilled on "over 50" person is doing the minimal journey also. I just started it 6+ months ago. All of this is excellent advice. The first one is the reason I started this journey to begin with. I don't want our children to have to make tough decisions after I am gone. In fact, every once in a while my kids will say, "Mom, someday I would like to have that." I am at the point now where I just tell them to take it. I would rather them have what they want than make decisions when they are grieving. Looking forward to watching your other videos also!
I agree. In the sad event- there's someone first with the key that goes in and cherry picks everything. Things go 'missing' and arguments start. It's pathetically sad. So, the Best Idea is to pass it along directly when you're alive. Enjoy sharing the moment and the item together. I think there's ZERO regrets this way, you're Right.
Very interesting video 🇬🇧🇺🇸🌸🌸
Make sure to ask the others. Some people are too polite to act like you’re dead already. It doesn’t mean they wouldn’t like to have things, and I’m sure they think it will be there when the time comes. It would be sad for them to end up with nothing.
@@here4you2024 family stole everything
Nothing left
Give whilst alive or place in will clearly with photographs
At 57, I've concluded that the older I get, the less I want to have to take care of. It's challenging enough just surviving now. I don't need or want the additional stress of dragging stuff from place to another. De-cluttering is liberating. Less can be more.
In this consumerist culture we live in, people are so used to acquiring and holding on to things that the thought of giving those things up can be traumatizing. I think sometimes people hold on to stuff to avoid contemplating their mortality, or they just fear change.
I am 79 and clutter is part of my life because I’m a scatterbrain. I hate it. This is an ongoing struggle for years. You just confirmed what I believe and gave me renewed hope to keep at it. It will be worth it after all.
You can do it. And I’m going to try too.
@@lisas2538 ... me too. 👍
Me too. I believe I'm messy & scatter brained because of what is now thought to be ADD (attention deficit disorder).
I have been wondering the same thing
@@katiesfarmhouse Depression, anxiety, PTSD, and ADHD here, and autoimmune disease and other medical problems. But I wake up every morning and give thanks that I did.
I do a lot of lying around (fatigue is unrelenting), so my goal is to eventually be able to relax in tranquil settings in my home. 🙏🤞😊
Thank you for bringing up this topic of conversation. My mom was a hoarder and left a large home filled to the brim with all of her collections. Nothing was in order. We would find a tea pot at one corner of the house and the lid to it in the basement at the opposite end of the house. We had to go through every single item because we might find an antique coin or valuable jewelry at the bottom of each box. It was a nightmare. We begged her for decades to let us help her before she passed. She refused, which I understand because it was her stuff and not really our business to decide what she should keep or get rid of. However, it ended up being our business at the end, and we had to give up over a month of our time several states away from our own families and jobs in order to clean up her mess. It's almost four years and we are still dealing with the emotional aftermath. PLEASE don't do this to your families. Go through it now. Take pictures of the sentimental items and get rid of the real thing. LET IT GO.
It does take longer than we expect! I'm downsizing my own possessions for an upcoming move to an apartment. I'm not even a hoarder, but it's taking time because of my age (60s) and health. My parents are in their late 80s and needing to do the same, but get angry and refuse to do it when we gently bring up the conversation. Now they're too weak to help. As much effort its taking me to declutter my own stuff, I can't imagine the physical and emotional stress it will be for me to do theirs someday - and it will definitely take months for me to sort through it. They say, "When we're gone, just call in an estate sale business to do it all." I'd STILL have to sort through it all before calling in someone for help. Overwhelming!
Im 67 and my wife suggested decluttering after she decluttered the pantry. Well, that sure motivated me. I had tons of legal papers needing burning. My sons left years ago and their clothes, books and toys had to go. First thing I did was clean out and declutter the storage shed! With that clean, the rest of the home was easy and some things were easily thrown out and others given away or put into storage. Garage has cars and very little else. It is nice and neighbors notice and the wives are bugging their lazy husbands. Big smile!
This video resonates with me. At 60, I no longer want to maintain unnecessary stuff and things. I want to spend more time with friends and family. I'm taking one room at a time and clearing out what I don't need. I can't take it with me...I don't want to 😊! Thank you for this encouraging video 🙏👍
Yes...PEOPLE over THINGS!!
Exactly my thought earlier today. I thought about not having a certain item and said Well, I can't take it with me so I'll find it another home. ❤
I'm 54 years old and got a brain tumor when I was 48 that I still haven't recovered from and can only walk about 20 feet one way before my body just gives out. Since none of us know what will happen to us and when I would really second your recommendation to declutter starting immediately with at least some stuff.
It is so hard to drag my worn out body that just barely makes it to the couch after just cleaning off the table. That would have helped me immensely to have decluttered a long time ago instead of fighting for every step to declutter it all now.
I’m so sorry about your limited recovery. Here’s to your 21st step and beyond. If you have 211 in your state, they can find you assistance. Take it easy.
My heart goes out to you!
It's so true! I'm 68 years old and I take care of my 91 years old mother, with dementia and skin cancer. I don't have time to tidy stuff. I started to declutter 4 years ago! I love my almost empty closet,gabinets, drawers. I love your video and just now, I'm a new subscriber, from Brazil. ❤
When my parents died we donated most of the stuff to charities. Everyone felt like a load had literally been lifted. It's so hard because everything has memories attached, but when we let these possessions go, we still keep the memories. ❤
Let me ask you? Did Ziggy play guitar? Did he play in left hand? And just to let you know, David is not dead he just made his way to Mars!
They say take a picture and then let go. I suppose you could take a square of granny's quilt and frame it and chuck the rest of the quilt.
Such wise advice. My mother and father and law were responsible and caring in the way they managed their "stuff". My husband, his sister, and I cleaned out a home they lived in for 60+ years in one week. We even had time to host a farewell party, and put their home on the market during that week. We then moved them into an assisted living community in our city. My own parents were level 2 hoarders and after their deaths I had a different experience. It was, physically demanding, heartbreaking, wasteful, and expensive. I am committed to taking care of my own "stuff" and showing my children how much I love them by living responsibly and respecting their time.
Absolutely! I’m 64 and I have been intentionally getting rid of “stuff” for more than a year. I now realize they want very little of the things I have collected. Things from my travels mean nothing to them. I have been giving things to my grandchildren and giving other things to people in need. The more I get rid of the better I feel. ❤❤❤
my kids have zero interest in any of me n my hubs "things"....wedding rings, couple guitars, a few things from Japan and Africa, some photos...thats it. They do not want clothes, dishes, holiday stuff...getting rid of most of it this summer...we are 61
I was that completely overwhelmed child about 7 years ago - and have become a minimalist myself following that experience. You are SO right to tell people. Thank you.
Went thru this when my parents went to assisted living. Everything you said is true! My parents are in their 90s and collected so many antique things. Even though they were organized well in the basement mostly, it was unbearable pressure trying to get the value out of items my parents expected. This was intended legacy for us kids. We had to let a lot go due to time restraints which was heartbreaking. Some things were extremely hard to sell like a piano, an indoor beautiful shuffleboard, pool table and dining room set with China cabinet. People today don’t use them, they are expensive to move and take up a lot of space! Thanks for alerting ppl to this overlooked situation!
Thank you for alerting us to this also! Those are very lovely & expensive things that your folks expected could be sold for good money, but sounds like times have changed so much that not as many have as much extra money to spend on bigger items. That's sad, cuz' people work very hard & yet everything's expensive & to put away for college (10x more $$ than used to be & few/no Pell Grants helping to pay for it)...plus save/invest for retirement years, in IRAs, etc. (no more Workers Unions with retirement benefits, pensions are rare, except for those who don't even need them) & now, the GOP is hellbent on cutting Soc. Sec. to nothing & Medicare ~ now a tool used by Ins. Cos. to max. profits & minimize health care for elderly needing it. (+ Spend millions$$ on politicians & TV ads.)
At least if you could start selling the bigger/costly items now, have time to wait for right buyer with the extra cash. Maybe you can then put money from sales of those things into a bank acct in case parents need it someday & if they don't is part of Estate. It's a shame to have to sell for much less than value, due to lack of time &/or buyers that can afford those nicer pieces that parents invested in.
It's like how expensive jewellery is to buy, but try and sell 2nd hand jewllery, and a dealer/jeweller offers peanuts for it 😢
My problem with getting started (at age 67) was that I am the last of my family, and I had many historical family items. I donated them to the local history museum, and not only were they thrilled to get them and document the history behind them, but it was so much easier for me to let go of family heirlooms that way.
Not only do I have my stuff, I have inherited 3 households of family members belongings. I’ve had several garage sales & have donated quite a lot. Not anywhere near done yet. It’s a lot of work. I don’t want my children to be saddled with all of this. 😊
Thank you for your much-needed video!! 🦋
We're doing the same. My mil had two elderly aunts who were childless and she inherited their stuff. When my mil died 20 years ago, we ended up with not only her things, but also all the aunts' things. My husband couldn't bring himself to tossing it all. Well, now we're in the middle of purging all this so we can move to an apartment. Like you, we've been donating, selling, and dumping so much stuff but still have more to go.
Did this after Empty Nest in my 40’s! Gave my children their stuff and live minimal and love it!
Thank you for a great video. Speaking as an 80 year old, as you age and slow down your energy isn't what it used to be, you wind up NOT using things you would have otherwise put to use. For instance the nice linens you collected all these years so you can change them up and create a nice space. Now it's "get it handled with the least possible thought, effort and steps." The brain can't do all the fancy coordination and the body gives out before a project is done. Same way with the pots and pans and the decreased cooking activity. This situation snuck up on me. In the end, due to the mental and physical "slowness," I'll have to throw things out instead of finding a new home for them.
@Kathy M You are so right. Am in my early 70s and can feel this slowing down process beginning. Time to get to work.
🇬🇧
Thank you. I'm only 64, but with chronic health probs, my body is pushing 75-80! What you said...2 points really stopped me in my tracks! How it "snuck up on you" & how you can think of/want to & start doing things, but body gives out before project is finished. Boy, did that hit home!! That keeps happening to me too! Can't seem to finish anything "in 1 go" anymore. Suddenly am just 'wiped-out'! I lie down & it may be few days before am up & about again. Of course, what I'm faced with then is a bigger mess cuz' was in middle of doing stuff when energy/body gave out on me! Now am finding that with smaller tasks I try & tackle too. Nothing kills my "vibe" to get things done, more than waking up to a bigger mess than I can handle! Huh. Guess maybe it's health & age (a 1-2 punch) has caught up with me when I wasn't looking?!? Does that mean I will never be able to get these things done now? No friends or family to help do it. Keep thinking I will be able to do it, finish "soon", or "next time". I need to adjust I think, to what is now "me".
Sometimes I find myself wishing for fire/flood & that's not good attitude, or answer.
Kathy M Don't throw them out, DONATE. There are places that will pick up from ur home as well.
@@SnarkasticSunny
Exactly! This is why I have enjoyed following Dana K. White's method for decluttering and thought it may be helpful to you, as well ~ it is so simple for me to understand, while being encouraged through the very struggles which you described.
I've watched my mother struggle with this for some time. She has saved years and years worth of books and magazines that she wanted to retain because of the information in them. Then over time she's lost her ability to read and yet she still struggles to let this stuff go. Then on the other hand she's constantly saying that she wants to eliminate her china cabinets and contents that consist of family heirlooms that aren't in the way or causing the least bit of clutter. As she gets older she has less physical stamina to deal with decluttering. I can see where my own ability in dealing with such things is decreasing and why it's important to get a handle on the situation sooner than later. I've noticed over the years that I feel much better in an empty room than a cluttered room but it's difficult to completely eliminate everything, even from a practical perspective. I feel much more energy in a room where there are no curtains on the windows, no pictures on the walls, nothing anywhere. But I like curtains and don't really want people looking in my windows at night, and I like family photos and art and plants so it's a constant struggle as to where to draw the line. The biggest strike against me is that I have many interests and hobbies so I have large quantities of things necessary to do those hobbies. I sew, so I have containers of fabric, several sewing machines. I knit and crochet so I have containers of yarn. I spin wool into yarn. I paint, I use pastels, water colors, acrylics, and oils. The list goes on and it's difficult to decide that you're going to eliminate this one thing from your life that you're no longer going to do. It's not just about decluttering but also about giving up on dreams and things that gave you pleasure.
Easy to clean, sort toss when you have no hobbies😂
I’m dealing with my Mom’s stuff. We’ve moved her into Assisted Living. I’ve been at it for a year. A year of my life wasted. A year of my life away from my own home. My mother had so much “precious” stuff that underneath all that, her house was filthy and in serious disrepair. And truthfully, no one wanted her things. It’s been a nightmare and it’s going to take a lot of time and prayer for me to get over the fact that her things were more important to her than my life.
Get therapy so you can enjoy the rest of YOUR life.
Sent with love.❤
-Omonike
05.27.2023
You hear alot of that expressed from adult children on the Hoarders program.
My husband and I are married 55 years this year. We are in this home 20 years this summer. We had no children. I am age 74, he is age 79.
2 years ago I started ‘right-sizing’ our home. He is a cancer patient. So it is now time to deal with out past purchases to move them forward and out of this house.
We totally stopped shopping last year except for food, gas, maintenance of the home, medical care.
We did not buy ‘clutter’ at the time we purchased these items.
You are correct. If you go into a nursing home, etc, you don’t take your home with you.
So we are deciding daily what we clear out. I have a monthly pickup to donate to different Thrift stores and organizations. Having this scheduled in my day-timer, I know I must have boxes ready to donate by that date.
We don’t pay for storage, like we have had decades ago from moving from a 6000 sq ft home.to a 2000 sq foot home. We sold a lot of furniture at that time. We gave no backyard storage, no basement, and can no longer climb ladders to put things up in the attic.
Now we are selling more furniture and art work that is valuable. It is an emotional process to separate ourselves from the items we so lovingly chose for our home. We have given away many items also to friends.
Many theatre groups, homeless shelters, thrift stores, churches take clothing, dishes, pots/pans, tools that are needed to setup new homes.
‘Passing items’ forward has brought great joy!
And selling items has helped increase our savings for future use.
Being in our 70s now, we appreciate the things we are curating now to continue our lives.
We have no family to help us. And I agree, we get to choose where these items are currently being placed.
I am now tackling harder projects, like family photos from the 1800s and my genealogy files. I am sharing with extended members who have children. I write what research I have done about these older generations. This is now a weekly project and it is copied and shared to clear out my file cabinet. Otherwise, this information will be lost again. And if there is a future genealogy researcher in the family, they won’t have to reinvent the wheel to find this study again.
I am new to your channel today, May 8, 2023. Happy to find you!
Looking forward to watching your videos. Great content!!
Pat in Colorado, retired accountant, age 74
This subject is one of the major road blocks in my life! It has caused me much anxiety and sometimes, even depression. I'm in the process now of de-cluttering, (one of many in my life), and it's a step-by-step process. It's easy to start with, getting rid of the obvious things, but then after I've donated the first stuff, I'll go through my things again and donate more and maybe 2 more times until it's really whittled down. After losing my precious husband 4 years ago, it's been hard for me to make decisions.
I feel calm and peaceful when things are organized and neat...I guess that's why most of the clutter is in the closets where it can't be seen, but I know it's there. I just did my master bedroom closet and I'm enjoying it. Now, I have 2 more terrible closets to do. I have enough kitchen stuff for 10 families...things that I've held onto and I usually can't resist buying a fresh pot or pan just for a 'happy', so I can't wait to get the cabinets all cleaned out...once and for all. Another suggestion that I've heard is if you buy 3 new things, immediately get rid of 3 things. Thanks for the kick in the booty!😁You're such a sweet lady!
I just finished selling my uncle’s condo and my mom’s home will probably need to be sold in a year or two. They took such good care of the things they had that they are treasures. I even have labels telling me which of the items were antique and valuable. It was like going through a treasure chest to empty the home. Cleaning it was like doing something for my uncle. When we painted and repaired a long broken window it was healing. Just being so busy helped with the grief and loss I felt. I miss him every day, but the last chores were a blessing in disguise. I plan to stay organized but try to keep the items that can be sold or treasured. I am not going to downsize but enjoy what we worked hard to acquire. There are happy memories around me and I am going to enjoy them while I can. What a wonderful life, I hope my kids enjoy or sell and get things they’ll enjoy. I hope their kids find a few treasures from their childhood. The trick is to cull carefully so all the treasures are there and none of the trash!
You do have to remember that some of the things you treasure are not necessarily treasured by many of gen Z or millennials.. it takes a special millenial or genz to appreciate antiques in a world of fast fashion crappy cheap ikea / wayfair garbage you can have shipped to you in a week or less. And I speak this as a tail end genx and a elder millenial in my 30s. I love vintage and have a couple nice hats ,compacts ,pocket watch,a countertop hair dryer ,hair rollers and a suitcase. But they aren't hot ticket items.
You can always take pictures of the things you want to remember before selling or donating it.
I am 75 and hubby is 78. We have started decluttering. Our kids don’t want our stuff. I read about Swedish Death Cleaning and decided it was something we need to do. We have lived in our house for 29 years. Need I say more. I have taken a car load to be donated and have at least another load ready to go. Plus 5 trash bags which includes 2 that are shredded papers. The papers 🤦🏼♀️. Not quite finished shredding but close. Organizing as I go. I’m already feeling a sense of relief.
I’m not in my 50s at all. Just in my 30s.
I thought I was keeping my house pretty minimal but we are moving overseas and it’s been overwhelming going through all my stuff to move. I can only imagine how stressful it would be moving into a home after filling a home for decades
Amen Amy, don't let it happen to you.
You are still young enough that if you adopt a minimalist lifestyle now, you will never be saddled down with too much stuff. 🤗
I’m trying to do this too. Something’s I think I should keep I haven’t used in a long time. I have been getting rid a lot and say if I need it again , I’ll buy another. Haven’t done that yet and don’t really remember what I got rid of. Must not have needed it!
Great tips. I worked as an occupational therapist for many years in home health and long term care and saw the progression people went through moving from a home they raised a family in, to a small assisted living apartment, and then to a tiny nursing home room that they shared with another resident. Their stuff got pared down again and again. So difficult to go through while also losing function and independence. Down size now! Make it easier for yourself and the people you care about who will end up having to help you. Please talk about overbuying crafting supplies as another hot topic. I saw household rooms stacked with bins and piles of fabric that turned mildewed and rodent infested. Stop buying crafting materials that you don’t have an immediate need for. PS No one wants your five trash bags full of Red Heart yarn that you mean to someday crochet/knit afghans with. 😂
That is a great idea for a video topic! Thank you! LOL I don't know what it is about crafting.... But it is sure easy to get out of hand with the stuff. 🙃
I did some computation, how fast do I crochet, how much do I use, then looked at my supplies & realised I will never use it all. Started donating it, got rid of a lot. I feel good about this 🎉
@@TheLifeTidy yes. Compute actual time spent & product used, total average month's activities then estimated life span. Its a very good thing to do.
I have 1 Rubbermaid bin of yarn, but I do have a handful ofshopping bags pieced out for projects. I am willing to donate some. Maybe. lol
You are correct. Going through other people's "treasures" is tough. If you want things to be "treasures" to your children and grandchildren, they need to be displayed and used. Great grandma's quilts mean nothing if they are hiding in a closet.
Please take responsibility for your stuff. If things get dumped on spouses, it will be junk. I'm having that issue now. My in-laws had nice stuff, but it means nothing to me or my husband because it was stuffed in a closet. My husband and his family don't want to let it go because it was in the family, but I don't appreciate being imprisoned by other people's clutter.
That happened to me. Mil had two elderly aunts who were childless and she inherited their things. When mil died 20 years ago, we not only got her things but all the stuff of the two elderly aunts. My husband couldn't bring himself to get rid of any of it - until now. Our closets were packed with these old inheritances - so much, we could barely get our own things in them.
I just found this video and it sure resonated with me. Mom passed away suddenly in her home in 2020. A home she had lived in for 55 years with my step-father (who predeceased her). I was executor of the estate, and the home was bequeathed to someone outside the family (no worries, we already knew about that). My husband and I spent weeks clearing the house, the workshop, and the 3 storage units. Mom was a child of the Depression, had a Costco membership, and had lots of storage space. It looked tidy in the common spaces, but the closets and cabinets were stuffed. And your story of buying things you already have because you can't find it? ... Oil of Olay moisturizer. I must have found half a dozen stashes of it. Mom probably bought several of them every time it went on sale. I don't want my kids to go through that when I pass away. I just subscribed to your channel.
That's a bad combination...a child of the Depression and a Costco membership!
I never could understand why older single people and even couples would want to actually PAY for the privilege TO SHOP for larger than necessary quantities of things!🤔
@@charmingintrovert3240 I let them store things at the store.That’s why it’s called the store.
I just wonder, if somebody else was going to get the house, then why did you empty and clean the house? I would have left it to them to do that job?
@@biaberg3448 There were lots of files. When you are executor of an estate, you need to know what the assets and debts are. If I just left it all there, closing the estate would have been difficult. Also, the person it was going to, their former secretary, had just lost her partner of 40 years 2 weeks before Mom passed away. There is a sense of wanting to do what my Mom would have wanted me to do. Yes, I could have just taken the files and have been on my way. But I have more conscience than that.
@@dianeschenkelberg8270 I understand. I thought they had given the house to a charity organization. That’s common where I live.
Thank you for telling everyone your age about this. Im 33. Told my 60 yr old mom I only want her jewelry , the snowman plates and her art deco lamps she looked shocked and hurt( I wasn't trying to be rude about it) but I don't want to be left with the silver silverware when my sister would appreciate it more . I had to help her get 15 yr old expired food storage out of her basement. She thought it'd last forever 🙈. I got a good workout from those large cans on top of working a warehouse job.. . She's been getting rid of things since Granma passed we cleaned 6 trucks out of grandma's place. Grandma had a garage sale shopping hoarding she'd forgotten about and we had to rehome her 3 large draft ponies ,put down 2 cats and1 dog with health problems. I aggressively donate every quarter outgrown clothes toys that don't get played with etc. We only can afford a 2 bed 1 bath for the 4 of us with 900 sq ft. We just don't have room for a lifetime of someone else's stuff
The more stuff you own the more stuff owns you! That’s something I have said for years when it comes to shopping but I have yet to apply the principal to what is already in my home. I’ve decluttered at times through the years but not to the point of getting rid of the “guilt inducing” stuff. At age 60 it’s time to tackle the sentimental clutter that has come from parents and grandparents. Why do we hang onto those items that we don’t really want ourselves thinking our kids will want them!?!
I’m 71. And yes it’s sometimes junk. My 93 year old mother in law left us a house full of junk. Boy! I woke up! I’m not leaving my junk for my kids 😂 it’s a nightmare. I love my children too much! You are right on!
The absolute best reason to declutter, then my daughter will truly know what was special to me.
My old supervisor had a dad in FL who only had a condo but she had to clean it out after his death. She came home and said she never would do that to anyone (although childless) She started downsizing stuff in her 2 bedroom condo that year. It is overwhelming and so much is no used. Another wakeup moment was when a patient came in our office and was almost in tears of frustration cleaning out his parents home. He had games from when he was 5 and he was 50-60's. I said "that's not nice to see?" trying to be upbeat and he was like "No if we wanted those games we would have them". He was so overwhelmed.Nice things sometimes get thrown out because you reach an "everything is going in the dumpster" moment. Very wise advice.
Anyone can become sick or disabled at any time. Live simply so others may simply live.
This is more true than we would like to acknowledge sometimes. 🤍
i"m 67 and have decluttered a LOT-- but am getting ready to get rid of ANYTHINg I haven't used in the last month.. PERIOD. I want minimalism to the max here.. much easier to clean and care for-- and makes living MUCH simpler.
I've always been a minimalist, I don't like clutter, don't enjoy shopping and have moved enough times to know it's a real pain in the butt to move a bunch of stuff. Something that you didn't mention that may apply to some of your audience is safety. I went through a period where contaminated water was making everyone sick in my neighborhood. This was before the pandemic. We all kept thinking that something awful was going around and kept coming back. During that time because of how seriously ill I was becoming, I passed out twice. Both times ended up with a head injury. The second time needing 9 staples.
My point is that I had to take a good look around and consider how safe my environment was. Furniture placement, how to avoid being near windows. I was just an inch short of my head going through a window when I passed out the second time.
How safe is my furniture, how much furniture do I actually need? I did end up moving to a much safer designed place, no stairs, double paned quality windows and open floor plan that is wheelchair accessible. SAFE drinking water!
Thankfully I haven't had another faint dead away situation since I moved. But as you mentioned, getting older happens to the best of us and some day, if the Lord should tarry, we will all of us pass away. Thank you and God bless you for sharing your wisdom and insight.
Yes! I’m 59 & had a bunch of stuff - I couldn’t part with from relatives, traveling, still hanging onto things before my divorce- well, The 1st of this year- I went on a huge decluttering journey! I think it was Depression to some extent- I was fed up with not having space to move around- and feeling overwhelmed in my Coop Apartment- SO- I Woke up & went on a MISSION- I just THREW EVERYTHING out- gave it away ~ donated to charities etc- i went into every room, drawer, closet & cabinet- bags upon bags of STUFF! Gone- OUTTA HERE-I painted everything WHITE and kept the bare minimal things- changed the furniture- light fixtures- nothing looks the SAME- even threw out the towels, and all canned food- only fresh fruits & salads now- took me 4 months- now they are auctioning my things in a storage room I had piled stuff and never went inside that place for almost 2 years! I was just throwing money away to store things- I never even looked at- so, my daughter said, “Mom- if you haven’t went in that storage room in 2 years, you don’t need anything in there!” She is right- I feel such a weight lifted off me! Such clarity! Such success! Better focus! Peace of mind! Healthier- even my plants are much healthier- the ENERGY FLows & it’s liberating. I advise everyone to just get rid of it & free yourself! Life is short- let’s not complicate it more with STUFF OVERLOAD- now, I’m just buying GOLD- I can easily pass it on & it will have VALUE- thank you for your insight! I’m now working on all my MAIL, magazines, pictures- and emails. It’s one step at a time to freedom, clarity & peace, I gave myself a 6-month cutoff to FINISH THE JOB!! 🙏
We filled three skips of stuff from our parents house. One was half full of books. We couldn’t give anything away or sell anything as lockdown has just happened.
It actually was cathartic as it helped us deal with our grief in a practical way, we laughed and shed tears over some things we found and discovered the wonderful things our parents had done for others but had never told anyone about.
We kept some treasured items and gave some to family.
It was exhausting but it was something we counted as a privilege.
I’m 70 and for the last 2 yrs I’ve realized that I don’t have the attachments I once did to a lot of my things and could let them go. It’s happened in stages and as attachments diminish I once again go through things and rid myself of them. I only have one son and would hate for him to have to deal with all my things that my husband and I have collected over 53 yrs of marriage. We’ve settled in this house for 27 yrs and I hope to have the majority of this stuff dealt with before anything happens to us.
I’m am only child. For years I offered to help my beloved, widowed Mother clean out the massive clutter from her house. She always refused saying that I could deal with all the stuff after she died. So I did, I sold the house with everything in it. Sounds harsh, but by the time she passed away, I had a disabled husband, a full time job, and my own completely furnished home. I didn’t have time or energy to sort through all her cluttered possessions, or time to do yard sales. I wish that all parents were as considerate as you are. Hope everyone remembers to label each picture in those boxes of old photos and albums, otherwise they will end up in a landfill somewhere.
I’m almost 70 and I too do not have the emotional attachment I used to have to things. It’s freeing. I am still downsizing and will continue. Thank you for this video, encouraging. I will minimize.
@@lyndarina9839 My parents are pushing 90 and have refused to downsize any possessions. Now that they're probably headed to assisted living in the next few months, getting rid of all their stuff will be left up to their daughters who are senior citizens with health problems of their own and no energy for this.
I started decluttering at 50 and at 51 it has taken me 6 months and still going. Not as a fad, but what I do keep I actually use..I understood my kids don't want MY stuff.....
I am 56. I live alone and when my relationship broke up I moved from a 3 bedroom house to a one bedroom flat/apartment. I got rid of alot of stuff at that point, but not enough and I have accumulated stuff since. My lack of easy space means that I dont clean much as it is so hard to get at the areas that need cleaning...what you say is so true! I dont have kids, so when I become ill or die, my extended family will have to deal with all my C****. I become overwhelmed easily with life and my environment. Last week I approached a local cleaner who also helps with decluttering: she came to see me this week and we have made a plan to start with a 2 hour session in 2 weeks time. This has already helped me to begin thinking more calmly about how to do this, which room to start with. I think having someone neutral to help me appraise my stuff will help. I have found your channel at the right time for me. You seem to have a very logical approach to this topic, and I look forward to watching the other episodes. Thank you.
PLEASE...make a video that deals with all the ways to "responsibly" get rid of stuff! Too many people just take it to the dump or put it in garbage can or take it to thrift store that is already on overload. Please have someone from Terracycle or one of the clothing recycling places or the nonprofits that fix things, like Repair Cafe. We seniors need to realize that we are responsible for setting a good example for the younger generation in getting stuff out of our life without contributing to pollution of the oceans and landfills!
Personally, I think the amount of "stuff" that people over 50 need to get rid of would provide all that is needed for a brand new industry: Recycling Consulting and Distribution!
I am 69, I am remodeling my house …lived here 23 years. Your video really resonated with me, I have been donating carload and carloads of stuff. My goal is to be “my best self” when I turn 70! I want My house to be a calm haven, my health the best ever, physically strong, relationships flourishing…. Thank you for your frank comments! GREAT. Idea!
When my Mom passed away we ended up with 24 boxes of books after everyone took what they wanted. The library limited donations to 4 boxes a person… so we took all the siblings & grandkids down & everyone brought in several boxes.
Just found you 😊We are decluttering (aged 69) I was getting really stressed and overwhelmed as my hubby just wants to chuck everything and doesn't want me to look in the bags etc I can't get upstairs as I need 2 new hips I feel I've lost control of my life and have no say Your videos have inspired me to tackle it all I've been looking at why I want to hang on etc Thank you so much Now I'm looking forward to a new phase of our lives I pray for improved health stamina peace and blessings ❤
Wishing you well. My husband is the same way.
You can do it , one spot at a time, be kind to yourself, slow and steady wins the race 👏👏...❤
Chaz, could you get some "high school boys" to help you? Call the high school to move boxes, down steps, lifting, trips to goodwill, etc. Pay them "something" make it easy on your hips, etc. ❤
05.26.2023
@@oneitalia2312
Or possibly a local church has members, of all ages that would be willing to help.
I’m 46 this year and my youngest, age 10, is outgrowing her childhood toys, although she still plays with her dolls. I’m not ready to talk about decluttering my things in preparation for death just yet, LOL! I’m still working on children’s clutter!
Fortunately, during the COVID lockdowns, my elderly parents downsized from their home of 45 years, clearing out nearly all of their belongings. They kept only their most treasured things, and actually already gave us kids many of the heirloom type items that we wanted to keep. When they pass it won’t be overwhelming to go through their stuff. I’m so grateful.
So true I’m your age with a young child so my mind is not there 😂
I knew I was going to have to make a move overseas. I boxed everything up and put it into a storage unit in my backyard. My house was completely and totally empty with the exception of my bed. Over a six month period, I went to the storage unit when I found I needed something. At the end of that period, if it wasn’t in the house it didn’t get moved. Ten years later, I miss nothing that didn’t make it.
great idea!!!
At 76 I’m going for it and am on a roll! About 3 months ago I started to feel the urge to downsize. I’m not a collector or a hoarder but I just wanted to clear away whatever I was not using and because I don’t entertain the way I used to I saw all my ‘fancy’ dishes, glasses and linen etc. just sitting around gathering dust. It felt so good to clear it out that now I can’t stop assessing what I still have. How much am I enjoying this….? How often am I likely to use it? If it’s a sentimental attachment I will take the time to enjoy the sentiment take a picture and see if one of the kids wants it. I can always go and visit it when I visit them. The next option is to donate it to charity. It feels good. 😊
Katherine I completely understand and agree with you about not overwhelming our children when we’re gone. My husband and I only have one child and I can’t bare to think of him having to deal with all of our clutter. We have been in our current home for 22 years this May and we have accumulated a lot in this time. I don’t personally have difficulty getting rid of things as I find having peace of mind more important than the sentimentality of material possessions. Of course there are a few small items that I will keep but the majority could leave and it wouldn’t bother me. My husband is the one who has trouble letting things go. I’m slowly getting through to him and as we will be downsizing hopefully in the next few years I think he is finally seeing things my way. When we think of our children and how overwhelming it can be for them, we will find it easier letting things go.🥰
Thinking of my children was definitely my wake-up call. ❤️
My husband too, even having 3 large spoons, I'll say I'll give one to Goodwill or we don't need 5 pyrex bowls, and he seems agitated by it. His clothes he is slowly dealing with but I did clean out a lot of my things. I gave away about half of my vases (without him knowing) because we don't need 10. The "what if" moments keep our junk drawer full too. One day at a time.
Yes Debbie, same here! I would love for hubby to finally declutter too…
“Swedish Death Cleaning” books & videos on YT convinced me.
@@TheAAnne123 I will have to check those out. I have the same issue with my husband. I can only control what I can do, without causing WW3. Wish me luck.
I absolutely agree with your first point. I do not want to leave a 'mess' for them to clean up. I am giving it away now and telling them if they can't decide right now, they can maybe find it later at Goodwill.
Amen! I've been doing this for the last couple of years! Just this morning, before I even got out of bed, I decided that this is the day that I'll part with my deceased Mom's cookie sheets. She was a fabulous cookie maker, but I can't stand baking them. It'll never happen in my oven. Those cookie sheets will find a new home--- today!
When a hoarder drops you as his Power of Attorney and assigns the management and distribution of the hoard (after death) to someone else…..whooo hoo, skip to my Lou !!!! 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
I have been decluttering for a long time but I never tire of the topic itself. I think there are many personal/spiritual benefits to the process.Really enjoyed your video.
These are all great reasons I have thought up in my life, too, and I am just over 40. It took me a decade to go through my father's things, just on an emotional level, and I did not have a support system that young to help with approaching the task. I decided I didn't want anyone to go through what I had. I'm not a minimalist, but I do try to clear out things that don't have special meaning to me, or clearly identify what is and is not valuable or special. My grandfather had an exceptional habit of taping notes on the bottom of furniture or decorations saying when he got it, who from, and what occasion. When I uncovered these in the attic, I found it so helpful and even made it more like he was there to help me see what these items were to him and why they were kept. If I have any advice, label what you keep! Sharing stories is great, but when you're gone, your voice is best preserved in a note tucked into a suit pocket, hat box, or special chest.
That is a great suggestion!! I can see where it would be so so helpful! Thank you! 🤍
I'm moving cross country shortly and I simply am unable to get rid of all my stuff. I've divested myself of a lot of furniture, but it's the little stuff: papers, nick nacks, junk drawer stuff (stuff that's needed but not large in size). I'm making myself crazy!
I agree, but when I talk about this, my kids don’t want to hear it. But I’m 50% finished de cluttering. Shedding a lot of tears, ghost and dead weight! I’m healing myself as I declutter but it’s not an easy process. God gave me the strength to dispel the energy that is no longer needed for the journey forward 😅. Joy is emerging
This is quite an emotional topic for me right now. As a stay-at-home mom for over 20 years, I've been practicing minimalism for a while now but as I'm getting older and life is shifting, it gets trickier. I'm married to a (near) hoarder and my four kids are all growing up. My second one is leaving the nest this summer. So now I'm needing to try to look into the future and predict what I WANT to maintain versus wanting the kids to always have a safe place to return to if needed.
I am divorced now from a hoarder - living with that lifestyle of his was so stressful but I didn’t realize just how stressful until I left the marriage.
I was drowning in his crap-junk-collections-projects ~ it is now unbelievable to look back no remember what that life was like. I feel so free from it.
God bless 🙏🏻🙏🏻
They will always have a safe place to return to if they need to, because YOU will be there & that's the safety we want/need to know is there.
You may want to asked them if there's any of their things they'd like to come get & keep with them, as you're downsizing & simplifying your life. They will have certain things they want enuff to get & keep themselves.
My grandmother was married to a hoarder she had to sneak things out when he wasn't looking
Great advice as I am in my mid 50's and recently downsized into a 1bd, 1bath condo and didn't pay for any storage space. It's freeing to eliminate what just takes up space. My advice to young folks in their 20's and 30's is don't accumulate "stuff that you don't need," and live simply and within your means. ✌God Bless! 🙏
I gave almost my whole life away to leave my house of 27 years to move in with my parents to take care of them. Still decluttering their stuff, what stuff I did bring is still unpacked but have all new stuff plus I started a charity after Father passed away and Mom in a nursing home helping people in the community with basic needs through donations. Quickly became overwhelmed with the donations but now have a church that picks up every 2 weeks to give away to people in need at foodbank. Plan on downsizing from parents 3 bedroom house to a 2 bedroom so have to keep plowing through the piles, making headway but much work to do, to do, to do to get to TA DA🎉
We have been in our house since 1972. It's not even a big house, but after the kids left, their rooms slowly filled up. I don't have the physical ability to easily clear it out, now, and it's Hard!
This lady knows what she's talking about!!
When my Dad died, we had so much stuff, and they would declutter a lot, yet there was Stuff! and my niece and son had yard sales. It was hard. Very hard. My Son cried afterward. One lady yelled at us because there were photos in some of the frames (I had so many copies of those photos) yet she made me feel like I was killing someone. I feel like putting things into trash bags and tossing everything! 😭
yeah, tried garage sales and too much work for so little of a payoff...I donate nice items and p itch the rest!! Paid $2000 in dumpsters to empty out 4 storage sheds of my mothers...she paid on them for over 30 years. Nothing of work but a handful photos!! Heartbreaking the $$ that was wasted!!! Now we have the job of of clearing her home when she goes to Heaven (sheis 89 and healthy)...tons of margarine tubs, papers n clothes she has no worn in over 40 years...but she is not willing top art with any of it.
A great recap of the main reasons to declutter later in life. Your red sweater, the plant, the dark table, and window are visually beautiful as well. I think another good reason to go through all our stuff is to deal with the emotions that arise from certain possessions while we still have the chance. Especially if some things are connected to people in our lives who are still here. It can be freeing.
We can simultaneously declutter some negative emotions whilst we declutter physical possessions. LOL somebody should make a video about that!
@@TheLifeTidyGREAT POINT!
Very interesting. I've just turned 60, I suffer badly with hypothyroid (so I have very little energy) and I'm in the process of clearing out mum and dad's house of 65 years! I'm doing it on my own and I can't even park my car on the property as it's a house in a terrace with no drive or vehicle access and it's on a main city road with no parking!
They never threw anything away at all. It's terrible. I've been doing it for months. Getting towards the end in the house now but still have the currently inaccessible attic and the garage and the shed to do. Mum is still alive and lives with my husband and I now. She just washed her hands of it all. Happy to leave me to struggle through.
But I can tell you, the minute it's finished, I'm starting on my stuff. The time has come. I don't want the clutter anymore.
My next door neighbor couple in their 50's, recently had sold their house to a 'flipper' company instead of going with a real estate agent, so I got to watch that process. They were paid below market value and were given 20 days to leave with their wanted belongings, but as the couple wanted a quick getaway, the deal suited them. The upside was that the flipper assumed the cost of dumping lots of indoor and yard hoards, general housecleaning and making major improvements.
I'm in my early 70's and alone, so this seems a solution I might go to, perhaps 10 years down the road. As the elder daughter, I was executor for my Mom's estate in 2021 and had transported her loads of stuff from her large house which is far distant, to my small one. Her granddaughter took over her home.
I'd want to be in charge of selling the best of my artwork and furniture, etc., and will need to recruit help.
Oh my goodness! I finally found someone who looks like me (grey hair) to help motivate and guide me through this process. At 73, I think about these thing so often, yet do nothing. Your directness and honesty have helped me focus, and make positive changes. Thank you!!
I am/was in your position, Julie ❤ First I got boxes. Then looked at the boxes. And kept looking at them. Then I started praying. Really hard. I prayed for God "to show me the day to start decluttering" - and He did. Filling boxes, hauling them to the Goodwill and to church rummage sale donation days. Each time I would clear out an area, I would go back to that area and just stand there and look at it. As I was standing there, I did not even remember what I got rid of!!! What a great feeling it was. It was out of sight, out of mind. I'm not finished yet. I need more boxes. I am so determined. Looking at the cluttered areas I cleaned out and not remembering was was there is SO FREEING! Just try it, hun, get a box or two, fill it up with what you haven't looked at in a while . . . take it to Goodwill, or in your area churches do Spring Rummage Sales now . . . I do wish you well ♥️ Ask God to help you and HE WILL! ❤
This. The experience of moving my MIL into assisted living and then clearing out her home of probably 60 years was so much work and so stressful. No one minds doing such a thing for a loved one, but it is indeed very overwhelming. And there is an element of almost selfishness to leave so much detritus for others to figure out. I am working towards making that final transition easier for others and am enjoying the benefits of more tidiness today!
It is absolutely selfish, most Americans are very materialistic, to the point of burdening their own children
@@annesmith6582 I agree with you. But not everything one owns gives one comfort, only some of it. The rest is just stacks and stacks and stacks of stuff. The selfish comment was really directed at myself. I personally feel it is selfish of ME to leave this to my kid. Not referring so much to others.
Selfish
Great word. We need to think about the mess we will leave for or family to clean up.its heartbreaking work. Stressful and selfish not how I want my love ones to have to deal with along with the heartbreaking grief they are going thr.😢
Been going through this the last 2 weeks when my 95 year old mother in law died.Thank god she wasn't a hoarder. But still, a lot of junk. Ugh.
@@kathleenodonnell8035
At 78, my mother passed in January 2021 and I am finally able to acknowledge how selfish she was to refuse to go through ANY of her overwhelmingamount of things, prior to her being physically unable, even though me & my sisters offered to help.
Helped me make up my mind to start decluttering.lm 77 so it makes sense.
Upon my divorce I left with only my clothes, papers and quilts. Left a huge home of 30 years valuable country furniture. That was 8 years ago.. papers now sorted and professionally shredded. When i turned 70 sold 20 boxes of quilt scraps on ebay and made $500 from scraps- from scraps I tell you. Then sold clothes with tags still attached and everything that no longer fit. I've never been a saver so this feels great. Stopped shopping out of boredom and only replace what's worn out. Funny how I have the money to buy super quality coats now😂 I also made a list of names and addresses of who gets which quilt.
I have started but hubby is the problem he goes through everything and wants to keep so much and with the present economic situation this is becoming worse in case we need it is now the problem as so many things here are in short supply
Great video. I’m attempting Swedish Death Cleaning with my mom. I just spent 30 hours last week on just a few areas. At least she seems to be willing to part with about 90% of what I “suggested” to get rid of. I’m about to be 55 and she’s close to 80. 😅😅. So much. Stuff. Her husband is 90 and he’s even worse. 🙄 (step father). I actually love the bluntness and how straightforward this was. I also straight up told her I don’t want to deal with all that when she’s gone. Fortunately they’re both still lucid and physically in decent shape, so that’s why I’m there...to just help with the physical aspects of getting it gone and sorting/organizing what’s left.
66 retired here. This is such good advice! I've been decluttering for several years. I love it! We moved into a smaller home & it's so tidy. I still have some very sentimental things I'm not sure how to dispose of. I will be subscribing for more tipe. Thank you! My biggest reason is knowing when/if I get into my 70s I may not have the energy to haul stuff around & my partner is not very motivated either. lol
Being in my 50s, this is keeping it real. So real. I took a year and helped my mother minimize everything. Now, I'm working on myself decluttering. We can't take it with us when we're gone. Keep those things that truly make you happy and get rid of the rest if you're not using it now. I kept stuff thinking I would use it because I got it for a great price. Well, 20 years went by, and its still in storage. Now, its cost me hundreds of dollars in storage. Ridiculousness.
Very good. I am a Pastor’s wife in Norfolk, VA. We spoke to our Seniors on this topic of decluttering. The age in that class is 50 plus😊Enjoyed your post
I am not what one would call a religious person, as I don't go to church, although my beliefs would put me in that category. I just wanted to tell you how wonderful you are for 'preaching' such practical advice.
I live in an apt. Most of the tenants, myself incl., are seniors. All of us have accumulated a lot of stuff over time in our apts., on patios, plus a shed that comes w/ rental. I have seen many have to move & downsize or move to assisted living places. It's so sad to see ppl. haggle & compete to get stuff someone had to let go of. Or watch ppl. haul beloved items away.
Ppl can be like vultures just waiting to take advantage of a dead carcass. I know sometimes you think it's something I can use, but when you get to a certain age you probably have most things you need.
Since most of my family lives in other states & are seniors also & I have no children..I don't want to have my landlady or the owner have to hire a hazmat team to clean out my place. I want to make it as easy for them as possible.. i'e., dump foods or recycle. Donate everything or set it near the dumpster in bags for anyone interested. I have empty boxes in my shed I held to for moving. They can use them. I try to keep everything organized out in the open on shelves & cube storage so I can find it or
in case I need to move suddenly. Most of the things I value I hope someone might be able to use them or get rid of it w/o working too hard to do so if I should have to move elsewhere for health reasons or I'm passed away. I don't want to leave & be a burden to anyone. I want ppl. to feel the peace I enjoy living in an orderly home, not stress. & know I'll be asleep, waiting for Jesus' return.
❤
My hubby, a brother, and a sister or two seem to believe that if someone gives you something, you can't throw it away or donate it. I have no such qualms! If it doesn't have any further use for you, or if you just don't like it, it's ok to remove it.
I'm going to be a little cynical about this....we have lived in our home for over 30yrs...it's full of stuff, collectibles, antiques, stuff that still gives me pleasure....when the time comes for our son to sort it out....at least he'll be happy he's "inheriting" the house that all paid & bringing him some extra cash plus if he decides to sell our treasures too! Is a win-win situation the way I see it....😉
I mean.... if the stuff gives you pleasure then go for it. Keep it. Then it has sense. The troubles start when you don't even know any more that you have the stuff.
I am in the similar position like your son. My father died 6 month ago, my mom still lives in their house. Since then I try to bring the house in the more managaeble condition. It is hard and for me it is so not worth the inheritance. I invest months of my life to deal with junk. For example my father had 12 chainsaws. I mean..... he was not handy. So I have as first to test which of them are still functioning. And I am afraid of such tools. I hate it. Then I have to figure out what to do with broken and working. How to sell them, where to dispose them. It is pain in the butt. And the thing is that they were also no good for my father. He didn't even know where some of them were.
I would say the lithmus test is, if the stuff really gives you pleasure and not headaches.
@@1974lilli I appreciate your input...understanding where I coming from....
I’ve been doing this for a while also because I only have one child and cannot bear the thought of how hard this will be on her. Been decluttering for at least six years basically got it down to minimum and I’m actually happier have more room in my house things I do you have are meaningful and I’m careful on what I by and bring into my home.
When you decide to declutter,it starts to feel like a gift !You will beable to breath easier with less stuff.
As someone who use to clean the homes of the elderly, your friends and family will thank you.
I’m in my 50’s and I am feeling overwhelmed by stuff, but my situation is a bit different. My mom lives in our in-law and she is neat and tidy, but my 2 kids and my husband all have hoarding tendencies. Trying to keep their stuff confined to a specific area is such a challenge. I grew up decluttering twice a year and it’s so hard trying to sneak stuff out of the house.