How to Regain Power in a Relationship: When He Stops Making Plans & Prioritising You.
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 17 ก.ย. 2024
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I looked back through my emails/messages and noticed that I was messaging my husband every minute...And at that time he was cheating. I did lose my power then..Let them ladies. And then let the universe bring you the good ones.
Happy for you lady ,remember u deserve better and just move on the universe will bring you true adorable ones ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
preach!🙌💕
Did you leave him? 🥹
@@Amylynnklh900
I was wondering that, too.
Let them, let him because something went away invested in me do I wanna married to me 💕😮😂❤
Focus on you and the focus becomes you.❤
1. Acknowledge
2. Rebuild your self worth. How you treat yourself is how people treat you. Force yourseld to do self care so that you feel too valuable
3. Create emotional distance, to gain perspective to evaluate your situation. Lots of time losing power is because you are seeking approval from your partner
4. Stop seeking validation
5. Reconnect with social circles. Do not cancel them when he shows up
6. Set strong boundaries in career and social. And social time with him should be pleasant
7. Sometimes what you want is not meant for you
8. If want to ask him, do so without anger and desperation.
“There’s nothing to chase… you’re just a shadow or mirror of him.” WOW. That part!
When I feel myself slipping out of black cat energy. I stop what I am doing and watch one of your videos. You get me right every time!
"You don't demand that he changes. You cannot demand or force your own ideas of life on someone" - I'm guilty of this. Thank you for this.
This video cannot have come at a better time. Its a little harder to follow these rules when you live with your partner. Were always together. But i have attempted to back off yesterday and its wild how much my bf noticed. I barely texted him all day and i didnt clean the house or make dinner like usual. He didnt complain. He just asked if i was okay and then he cleaned and made dinner. Its amzing how he took control when i stopped being in control...
join a gym or co-working space or start a club for local women to get together for walks/jogs/drinks/movies. Take up a feminine hobby like ballet, painting. Bring a book to a nearby restaurant. Never stop dating yourself. Check out “time left” if you are near a city
This is so timely. Recently I spoke up about a boundary to my guy and a week ago, he went silent. He is fearful avoidant and I have almost caved so many times to reach out, but I came to a realization that sets me straight and calms me in an objective stance; "My desire to reach out is coming from a place of my lack of self love. I need to work on this and he needs the time to process and step into his masculine to pursue me in my feminine if this is going to work." This has stopped me from making the mistake of reaching out to him. I am realizing that I deserve more and that this time apart has actually been a good thing for both of us. We both need to grow in our attachment styles and overall self esteem if it is going to work. Win win either way, no matter what happens❤
Beautifully stated! I’m going through this exact scenario right now after a situation over the weekend and your perspective just filled me with peace. Thank you ❤
@arianalopez1072 You're so welcome🫂 I'm so happy it could, sending you positive thoughts and love with what you and your significant other are going through. Only beautiful things will come with you loving yourself and putting yourself first☀️
Hey! I’m not sure if this helps but fearful avoidant female here.. and although I’ve done so much work and test as secure etc, this will always be something I am working with.
I am NOW in a place (after much alone time, self work and life experience, therapy personal development etc) where I can work through my isssues with a partner.. but back then, even when I craved closeness.. or came around for it.. NO amount of anything the other person did (right, wrong, near far anything) could change MY wounds and issues. Those were things I needed to discover and work through on my own journey.
We are such beautiful souls often with a background of traumas of different kinds, sometimes much more severe than other attachment styles. And this requires a lot of patience and love from others. But we absolutely must learn to give ourselves that patience and love first.
While I am so grateful to my ex for not cutting me off and staying friends with me- that is because I eventually (after learning, and him setting some pretty tough boundaries, and me having to learn through other relationships unfortunately).. put in a TON of effort to work to a better place with him, and still am.
I don’t know your situation or what works for you but all I can say is it is NOT you that needs to change anything. Keep taking care of yourself and reassuring yourself as you are, and it might be hard for him but he will come back around and will put in the work if that is meant to be part of his journey. That is something we have to face - ourselves. If and only if someone is showing up for you also.. then of course be there to support them on their journeys of healing to the degree that you can or want to. But please continue this mantra that you have. I know it is SO not malicious ( you have no idea.. we honestly hate ourselves sometimes and just figure other people are better off without us). But those are realizations we need to get to on our own.
I always advocate for rational compassion- show compassion and understanding for others, but never to the extent where it is damaging you. Put yourself first, and know that he may never ‘be’ this masculine figure you hope for, but he can also be amazing and beautiful in this whole other way. However he needs to actually show up in whatever that way is.. not you begging him to. I am saying this in case because sometimes FA’s or others (like neurodivergent peeps for examples) don’t fit the typical ‘masculine’ feminine stereotypes etc and sometimes we need extra patience. But we need limits also. And we can be very confusing and scared ourselves. It doesn’t help to push us either so- you are doing the right thing by taking care of yourself:) keep going and send him love and healing from afar! I am rooting for you too!! ❤️❤️❤️
When I say it is not you.. I mean we all need to love and be ourselves and obviously you know your own things to work on.. you know what I mean:) anyway I am just saying- nothing can really change us unless we are ready to love, and to receive love. That cannot be forced. So you are so right in your words.
@@Kinteresting Thank you so much for taking the time to write to me about this. I cannot say how much I appreciate you. You are right in so many things that you said, things that I actually hadn't considered. It brings a solace in hearing that until an FA fixes their wounds and issues, there is nothing I can do at the moment. For the first time in the 2 years that we have been in contact with each other, I am putting myself first. I have taken away contact for the time being after his last ghosting and I feel it is the most loving, caring thing I can do at the moment. Energetically, I was asking him to love me and care for me and that is something that he cannot do at this moment. There was a moment this year where he was in his masculine and pursuing me and saying he loved me everyday and showing up, it felt really good. Then I believe the intimacy got to be too much and he pulled away.
It feels really good to finally be asking myself what I need and desire in a relationship without thinking of any one person. I am taking steps to figure out my past and why I allowed the treatment and it has been so enlightening.
I say now that I am opening myself up to love and what's meant to be, will come into my life. I still love him and will be open to talking to him, yet I will keep myself open to any love that comes into my life and now fits the version of what I am learning I deserve. Hope this makes sense, kind of writing from my heart openly.
I am rooting for you too
🫂💛 For those of us that aren't securely attached, it is a journey that takes extra efforts, but we all deserve to be loved through and through and to believe that we do💖
Such a valuable video! I don’t often promote books, but the book women’s magic truths on borlest is an exception. It’s packed with insights on wealth and self-care that are not widely known. All the best to everyone
Smells like marketing campaign
This spam comment is all over TH-cam
You have literally changed my life. I love your book, your podcast, and these videos. Thank you!
Oh yes she is amazing
Fantastic!!! That ending should’ve been at the beginning! You saved the best for last lol. “Closing the gap too much that there’s nothing left to chase.” I think that has been my problem in the past. Thank you for hitting the nail on the head for me
💣💣💣
One of my favorite things Margarita has said is to become obsessed with yourself, make yourself a priority because you are important, you are valuable and you are worth it! The more you take care of yourself the more value you feel about yourself because you’ve invested in yourself! You got this ladies! ❤
Coach paula grooms says “focus on you and he will too”
Needed this! Went no contact with my now ex who’s been begging to see me for the past month. Finally gave in and am going to dinner with him this weekend. this gave me the perfect pep talk. Thank you
I laughed THE HARDEST at the angry rat 🐀 thing omg 😭🤣🤣🤣
she described many of us, sadly
Holy fuzz buckets Margarita. This could not have come at a better time. It's like you were speaking to me directly 😭 thank you so much. I needed this more than you know. You're a divine queen Goddess sharing your wealth of knowledge and I appreciate you!!! ❤
My boyfriend and I just broke up because he was too busy for me. We didn’t see each other in person for a whole month. He wasn’t prioritizing me or the relationship. This is my first heartbreak, and this couldn’t have come at a better time. If anyone has any advice or nice words, I’d appreciate it!
trust me, you'll be fine
@@Leona-wayo thank you so much!! That’s exactly what I needed to hear right now. I really do hope he comes back, because what we had was good when he was being attentive and present, but tbh at the same time, if he does, I’ll need to see real change in him because blowing me off for a month then breaking up with me over the phone “because he’s too busy to see me in person” isn’t what I deserve. I need to work on myself, thank you
He will be back when he's bored and ready to play with your heart again, but you're better off without him.
I advise you to develop a relationship with God. Best thing you can ever do.
My advice is don't go back. Just wasted 10 more months going back to a man that I dumped for similar reasons. They are avoidants. Emotionally unavailable. And abusive.
Listen up, this lady literally explain 17 min of what I've learnt in 10 years....always Focus on YOU first
Most people know that all along tho lol
"When people tell you who they are believe them" is SO true. My ex straight up kept telling me in his words all the ways how he wasnt the one and i definetly was all like, "whatever moving on-" and then wondering why i was miserable, woops. Thanks for ur amazing content Margarita, you're so precious. I'm with a guy now who adores me and i dont think i wouldve ever been that capable of reading the signs for such a man in my twenties if it wasnt for you and other content creators
I used to struggle with anxious attachment but detaching a bit and focusing on myself really did the work for me !
Now he puts way more effort in our relationship, he compliments me everyday and A LOT (expecially when i have no makeup on) , he says he wants to marry me (we've been dating for like two months but i already know his mom and speak with her nearly everyday so i'm pretty sure he's serious since he's also muslim and muslim guys defo don't bring gfs home unless they're sure of them ) he chases me a lot and he says he misses me etc etc. This is mind blowing considering that just around a month ago i was desperate trying to get his responses back when maybe he was simply at work or just living his life
Thank you Margarita you will forever be my fav creator
I love learning how to be the black cat because I'm a super friendly golden retriever ❤Thank you Margarita❤
I feel like men lose their appreciation for you so fast, it makes me sad really. Once the hunting phase is over it seems like they just don't want to make any effort, only the bare minimum to keep you. I don't get it.
Yes I agree. But the men who do this SHOW you who they are. As Margarita has said “let them” if this is their behaviour then you know you can drop him because someone who is truly interested won’t lose interest x
I feel the same!😢
You’re the sister I’ve always needed!
A bit ago he said „I do appreciate u,
Do u want me to tell u every day?
That doesn’t make sense, and it wouldn’t be honest then either.“
I’m actually grateful,
He puts in the work to tell me this.
He isn't grateful for you everyday? Leave him.
FWIW, Many people start to take their partners for granted over time. There are a number of couples who start to bond more when they take a moment every day to think about something they appreciate about the other person and say it. It refocuses our attention in a way that helps us realizing what we’ve been overlooking.
It’s part of an ever increasing body of research on gratitude. Practicing the expression of gratitude in every area of your life, not just a relationship, helps to correct some of our innate cynicism as human beings and makes people happier and more fulfilled.
Not sure if that’s useful to you, but it’s interesting to me.
yay! queen is here!
I have watched so many of your videos and they are so helpful, but I feel like my brain will never be healed. I struggle so much with needing validation. I fear rejection and that I will never be good enough, skinny enough, pretty enough, smart enough etc. and that if my boyfriend leaves me, it's because I am not enough. I hate this about myself and have tried to put so much work into healing, but don't know that it will ever help. Thank you for your videos-I am hopeful that one day things will click in my brain.
Edit: it's also hard to feel good enough when he's constantly looking at other women online, but I realize that's something I need to work on getting comfortable with.
Um, you don’t need to get comfortable with anything. Him looking at other women online is what is triggering your insecurities! Ask him to stop and that it’s hurting you. If he doesn’t, send him packing because clearly, he does not care about your feelings and that is a sign of disrespect.
Sending hugs for you. I pray for your peace ❤
You are worthy of love and respect …. You have to live and respect yourself first and then others will be drawn to you …. You don’t need your current guy if he isn’t totally into you … let him go 😊
@@aMarylife if not looking at women online is a boundary you want to set, I think you should stick to it. There are so many men out there who don’t do that, you deserve the best
You WILL be healed. Stop speaking like that over yourself. It all starts in the mind.. you are more than capable of healing and one day it will just click.. continue to watch videos, take into action of things in your life & yes, you may have flares or feeling inadequate but when you look back in hindsight.. you will look back and look at your progress. I believe in you.. keep on going and don’t give up ❤️
You continue to evolve Margarita. Bravo dahling 👏 ❤
👏 yes! I agree!
The timing on this! You're awesome 😅
Whoooohhh🎉 Listening to you in the morning sets the tone! Thank you
My boyfriend (avoidant) told me the other day with me he is "not intellectually stimulated" because I am not an expert in politics or the wold happenings / wars etc. and because I rather focus on music, creativity, positive outlooks in life. He is very hard on himself and can't express emotions very well and after two years still didnt say "i love you". I have been trying to accept his way but somehow I am just sad and don't know how to move on. This video helped a lot :)
Damn. This is exactly what I need right now after a recent shift in my connection. I’m taking my power back while learning To keep My heart open, instead of closing it and isolating myself in self pity.
Not this time. This time will be all about ME.
Thank you again. You got magic with your wordss . You literally convince us by reason and we really Stop chasing like idiot. Other advice were so superficial that they don't penetrate deep in consciousness but you does the magic
So glad you posted this. Just in time for what I'm going through and continue to go through. Your videos remind me how to love myself ❤
Jaroslav Dušek: "Our assumptions about people and about partner, are so deep in us, that we dont even realize, they are assumptions, we think they are true. Assumptions mess up our mind. When we fall in love, our heart spontaneously opens up and the Universal love energy flows through our heart. The other partner isn´t able to create such great energy, they just started it, but the love energy is Universal. For example the greatest assumption is that after few years of relationship, the other partner stopped feeling the love and attraction, or that their attitude changed, that they stopped understanding us. But the thing is "our" heart closed up little bit, because of some stress. So the love energy couldn´t flow through our heart, but we assume that the other partner did it, that other partner stopped loving us, so we create a conflict and try to change our partner attitude, to feel the great love energy again, even though its not about them... There is enough love in the Universe for everybody, if we open our heart."
I need more of this to listen… i lost myself in a man i loved and who cheated. Still have feelings for him
Soul ties. Soul bonds incurred from sex. Dismantle in Jesus mighty name. You probably dodged a bullet here and one day you'll be glad he's gone.
Deaden those feelings!!
The trash took itself out. He showed you he lacks character, believe him!!!
Cheating is a choice. He put you at risk with his behavior and he doesn't respect or love you. He is beneath you- let him go and move on. No second chances!
@@thedoppleganger why is then so hard to stop thinking about him, i know he’d not good for me ..
I just wanna say that I absolutely love your videos. Your points are literally on point and I love your delivery with your flare of humor. You seriously have helped me immensely. I just need to apply your lessons more lol but I'm on a mission to become secure from being a bit anxious and your videos are seriously so accurate. I just love ya girrrllll thank you for blessing youtube with your content and keep going ❤
The timings is magical
I've learned to be the chill black cat.
It’s shocking how Women’s Magic Truths on Borlest isn’t being discussed. The book is full of life-changing insights, yet no one seems to notice. Time to break the trance and read it yourself!
I don't always like this type of content but this was really insightful and helpful. Thank you
I was going on TH-cam to specifically search for this video and it was the first one on my home page l, I love you. We are in sync today it’s like you read my mind thank you queen❤ you have helped me step into my power and femininity in ways I never have before!!
Love love love your channel! Whenever I need to course correct I know you have the right advice !!!
I didnt think all your wisdom could really be used for me, being the masculine one in a same-sex lesbian relationship. But, some of your tips and pointers are working. Thank you
11:37 HERE!!! This!!!! Exactlyyyy❤❤❤❤❤
It is very hard to not act frustrated when you are in fact (justifiably) frustrated with how you are being treated.
I love listening to these videos, but it is always something nice he does after an argument or a misbehaving that makes you go back to him like a golden retriever 🙃. And once you two fight again you go back to these points and remembers that you have not applied them. Who agrees!???
You’re one of the rare people that red suits sooo good 🥰❤️
Perfect Podcast at the perfect moment ❤❤❤Thank you !!!
Omg the angry rat in the corner impression had me rolling LOL.
Thanks ❤ for this amazing content... Needed this today. ❤
Always so informative and inspiring ❤
Is it the same in marriage ? Me and my husband are together for 9 years, have a 5 y old boy and 7 mnths old girl. I am always feeling the need to ask him hey are we going to the new house to do the work (we bought a new house and we go there for few days a week to work on it), or:" are you going to play with our son"? Etc. Always having to remind him and direct him toward family time. Also he works from 7am to 4pm and almost NEVER texts me during the day or calls me. He is a provider and works a lot but i feel i am very anxiously attached specially since we had kids. H E L P
Do her polarity master-class hun. I think it's harder in marriage as there is less distance but I'm a talker and ask and make comments alot too. I think stop... let him lead and figure it out babe even for a week... don't mention play time (my biggest trigger too lol) or the house just sit back and be passive xx
Also just realised your name.. is it a kat thing? Are well all like this 😂
I love most of your podcasts! I really admire your confidence … I also would love to hear something about jealous girlfriends… big kiss and wishes for a happy family life❤
@Margarita would u do more content on avoidants?
I liked these videos very much.
Fearful-avoidants are especially underrepresented.
Or is that just „run away“ material?
Hey, Margarita has a video from a year ago called "how to thrive with an avoidant man (17 steps)". Please search it, I think it would be helpful to you
@@GoldRushdI did see it!
I just asked for more because I loved it
My favorite Tuesday videos ❤
So happy to see a new video 🎉🎉🎉
I know that you definitely get treated better when you treat yourself better and focus on yourself. But do you actually stop craving love from that person and men in general when you treat yourself well or is craving love a human condition that needs to be managed on your own? I’m focusing on myself as a single person so that I don’t lose myself in a committed relationship. Honestly, it’s so annoying to miss them sometimes lol bc I don’t want to give my power away and become clingy, worried, or obsessive.
If I feel like I’m losing myself or being clingy I just ask myself “why do you want someone that isn’t showing interest in you?” We only feel “clingy” etc when we don’t feel wanted x
@@lou15176 thank you for your input! If that’s the case, I feel reassured. I don’t want to waste time on someone who makes me feel anxious or doesn’t love me back. I’m striving towards interdependence with the right person :)
@@harmoniousandtranquilhannah when you meet that “right person” you won’t have to “manage” your anxious feelings. Your nervous system/body will regulate itself and the mind will connect to feelings of calm. There will still be other challenges (because this is life) but no more losing yourself to things and people that don’t matter.Sending many blessings to you and all 🙏❤️ x
@margaritanazerenko what course do you suggest for a woman who wants to figure out how to stop behaving so anxiously attached?
This video came at the perfect time! ❤️
Love your podcasts ❤️❤️
Is it good he asked how I am?
I texted last yesterday,
And he texted me „night
Please do a video for couples in a long distance relationships. And keeping the independence when I visit him in his country because I’m outside of my comfort zone.
Hello Beautiful, I love this channel. I love your advice but this is hard to do when the behavior has gone on for so long. But I am trying my best! Thank you
Love u and ur channel. Nothing but the truth here
Thank you mother
This was quite a clever analysis 💋
I also did tell him what bothered me,
But he me too.
We had an open discussion,
He said I hate x
And me y (or whatever),
And what we wish from each other.
Hi Margarita, can you make recommendations on what to read or what to prepare ourselves on before marriage? ❤
Very good advise..Amazing woman ❤🎉
Hi I’m a new follower.. Where can I find you list of recommended books??
I love your videos but it's too many ads! Can you please put them at the end?
A relationship with power, control and chasing is not a relationship, it's a scam.
I was wondering, will this work in a situationship with a guy for two months? he didn't tell me directly but I feel him starting to pull away. the energy is just so different from when we started talking in july. also, thanks so much for your videos Margarita. they do help me feel grounded and help me remain calm everytime I am spiraling in my overthinking.
Amazing advice as usual. I was wondering how you'd apply this when your life is pretty much at home with 3 small children and also working from home? I have a 2 year old, 5 year old and am pregnant with our third. Is it just a case of doing what's best for you within the remit of your own walls?
Regarding the 1st point, do we just acknowledge the shift/change to ourselves, or do we also acknowledge/bring up the shift/change to our partner?
Just for ourselves
I love this ❤🎉
So what if he’s career obsessed and has forgotten you. When he does call you, he’s always working on his laptop and barely talking to you. Just asking the basics, how are you, how was your day. Besides that you’re having a long distance relationship….
When he calls you, you have to sometimes be too busy to answer. I say sometimes, because you don’t want to manipulate. But you do want to have your own busy life x
My favourite girl on the internet ❤
Hahahah the voices you do are hilarious 😊😂
So I would really like to hear from the perspective of a 39 year old that wants out of the relationship with a narcissistic man that has ripped every rug out from under me and is below me in every sense . I want me back but I feel I'm getting so old . Am I ever going to find someone or is it too late at 40 and what do I do?
Absolutely the prettiest face I've ever seen 😣🙆
You should design the mice which looks like hair drier.
The boy I loved an I’ve been back and forth with for a few years now since we were teenagers told me he loves me less and more like a friend and it kind of hurt me and ahhh and our fights have gotten soo bad recently and he said he can’t fix the relationship and soo on and ahh on one hand I deserve better and he says I accepted what he done for so long I don’t wnat that and on the other hand I wish everything could work out please leave advice for me
For some reason I always think at first that you’re talking into a blow dryer, but then I realize it’s a microphone 🤦♀️🤪
3:43 - 5:03
Amazing content in this video! I rarely suggest anything in comments, but the book women’s magic truths on borlest is a game-changer. It provides deep knowledge on wealth and self-care that can really make a difference. Take care, everyone
More videos like this where you make it seem more normal to just be an independent person, woman, etc and not make him everything feels really important.
🦋
🩷💜🤎🤍 YAAAAASSSS
Regain "power"?? That sounds a bit psychotic 😂😂
Your promotions are REALLY long. 🥴
*I'm glad you made this video,* it reminds me of my transformation from a nobody to good home, $89k biweekly and a good daughter full of love..
Please how ?
Am a born Christian and sometimes I feel so down 😭 of myself because of low finance but I still believe God😞
It's Maria Angelina Alexander doing she's changed my life. A BROKER- like her is what you need.
$356K monthly is something you should feel differently about....
Lovely! I enjoyed it like I enjoy a $100k monthly around the turn!!!
As a man, this makes me realize how pathetic women kind is. Thanks!
??
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