This was really fascinating. I'm part of a DID system and my motto that I share with every alter that I meet is, "If you are here, there is a reason." We have been working hard to understand each others' reasons for existing, what goals each of us are trying to meet, and how those goals might be reframed going forward.
Well said, thank you. I needed to hear that today, we never know when our comments, no matter how simple, will help another. I appreciate your taking the time to comment.
I'm pretty sure I have a dissociative disorder, that is not DID, my therapy is going well, and I have begun noticing the kind of moments you describe, where something will trigger a shift in how I behave so strongly, and I feel I have no active control over that shift. So progress is happening, I see the events now. Now for compassion and empathy and healing and stuff :D
The way you explained the ambiguity of time within dissociated parts finally made me realize why I always have this feeling that time is more like a place, and that I can go back to my lost pets, friends or other things that I lost. It's almost too meta to describe, but I always feel like nothing is truly gone and I'm just living in an alternate reality without them, if that makes sense. Of course, then real life hits me hard.
we are quantum, Diana. ..... real life is part of the whole .... we are able as we heal and understand ... the interconnectedness of all beings and all phenomena .... we are more intelligent than the herd of singlets .... very difficult .... challenge courage toward total victory .... keep the best .... understand the rest .... and of course, rest the most important for us to regenerate ... our brains use more energy ....
The theory of structural dissociation changed my life! Ps. I have osdd but have had times when the parts completely have taken over but usually just with emotional amnesia and sometimes recall issues
My old therapist (I stopped seeing her when what I originally went to her for was finished) suspected some structural dissociation, even left me with a model of triggers, trauma memories and the ANP/EPs, I can't go back to see her and have been having lots of trouble trying to get in to see another therapist so I can try to work out what's going on. Your videos are so immensely helpful, really helps me to understand things better. I'm so grateful about how much you discuss OSDD. My big thing is that while I feel highly influenced, there was only one time when I felt like the words coming out of my mouth weren't my own. I've always been confused by my own actions and not understood why I do what I do, why I self sabotage all my relationships, I have no idea who I am sometimes. I think there's a good possibility for OSDD. I'd appreciate a video that went into internal communication a bit more, so many videos are first hand experiences and those individual experiences vary so widely so they're not the most useful. But since you talk about things on a broader scale, I'd be interested to hear what you had to say about it. I don't hear voices I don't think. I also don't feel like I'm constantly actively thinking up the thoughts that come into my head? I know that alters can take away thoughts in addition to thought insertion, I'd be interested in hearing some more about all of that stuff and how it can differ between osdd/did systems. Can't stress how grateful I am for your content.
I hope that its ok for me to send you this link.. the pages aren't that complicated but there are specific quides to help anyone who can't get into T. Kind
Wow! This has been your most helpful video yet. We are trying very hard to understand each other. We can't get therapy, but we can educate ourselves. Thank you so much for this information! You have no idea the knowledge and comfort your videos bring our relatively, sort of newly discovered-ish system. Honestly! I really don't think you know. Anyway, have a great day. Thanks again.
Listen to this over and over, and get something each time. It's so hard to pay attention, we need to listen again. love the idea of the "whole personality" which is all of us , a chorus, an orchestra, harmonious, at once cacophonous, then delicate and airy tunes. Thank you.
Thank you! I am a DID system and have been attempting this process with my therapist for 2.5 years now and have been in a state of rapid change for nearly a year. My most ‘out there disruptive’ parts that I have gained communication with have fused with more stable parts that are more active, but each time this happens it’s like starting from scratch! I have 8 parts that handle most of my everyday actions, and 6 have changed - 3 in the last 3 months. It’s like my whole brain has been rewired and I feel like none of my responses are predictable anymore. This has helped me refocus, so thank you.
Thank you for sharing this, trying to find the words that can tell others what I/we experience can be extremely difficult - especially when survival brain steps or other pieces are more active. Not having words is itself a potential trigger at times 🥴 (still sorting that bit out) and also a barrier to effectively preserving insights I have into some of what happens. I was fairly certain there was some blending of parts happening as well as some new things in the deep thoughts and values sense. I wasn't sure if that was possible or if I was just that disconnected so I am also appreciative that you shared about personality evolutions. That was one spot I did find words for haha!
I love to work because I don't usually switch , and other parts (mostly) don't exert executive control in a co-conscious manner. It is very difficult (nearly impossible, really) to explain their comments and actions to other people without revealing my diagnosis and risking the stigma of a disorder that is so poorly understood. Understanding why they behave as they do has not helped me develop compassion for them as much as my therapist would like. They have created a lot of practical problems as they react to my adult life as if we were back in "trauma time".
It'll probably get better when you stop seeing yourself as the "real one". There was a lot of "me" and "my life" in your comment...which i can assure you, as a host of a polyfrag system who's mostly always co-con- the day you stop acting and living as though you're the only one in the body and the others are intruders- is the day things will drastically improve. You've gotta stop living for yourself and your wants and put them first. They'll react really quickly if they're anything like mine LOL. It also helps empathy too- to put yourself in their shoes. Think about what their abuse was actually like as a tiny child, get down on the floor and view the world and grown ups from a kids perspective- then throw in terror, pain and being ignored ontop of it... ;) It helped me really grasp the others and their shitty existence and helped me WANT to be better for them...the second i made that commitment, was the second they ceased all "negative" behaviours and our life got a whole lot happier, easier and more friendly
We LOVE this video! While our daughter is now grown, she was able to see our alters (we didn’t know it, and she didn’t know they were alters then) when she was younger. We were a very stable system before we “broke down” (for lack of a better term) after multiple, severe traumas in a three day time period about two years ago. After that, we became a destabilized system, but still “us”, if that makes sense. We’re starting to work together again, but it’s WORK. That said, many of our lifelong friends are afraid for their children, some are not (and we’re so happy we can still be around those families) and we’ve been terribly saddened by the ones we have lost. We know it is because of their lack of understanding and due to misrepresentation in the media/general public. So, thank you so much for making educational videos, such as this, that we can share. Hopefully many people will see these and learn that we, and many systems like us, are still safe around their families. ❤
At 14:16, you mention an issue we coincidentally just brought up yesterday with our psychiatrist. It's kind of funny how that happens. I'll note this video in our communication diary with our psychiatrist. The comms diary helps people who can't always contribute to write something about how they're feeling. So far, no luck yet, but it's a door I'm keeping open.
I really appreciate your insightful comments and compassionate attitude. It's so easy to condemn oneself for avoidant behaviors instead of understanding their function and importance for survival. I'd read that narcissism is frequently present in people with OSDD and DID as well, but your description of its defensive origins makes total sense in the context of trauma and abuse. Thanks for that!
12:49 WOW…at 7 years old I lost a cheap emerald dress ring the first day after I got it and can still feel the deep shame and guilt because it was the most amazing thing my mother had ever given me & I knew how poor we were so I treasured it with every single part of my being. I felt so strongly that I’d let her down & that I’d made her feel like anything she did was worthless because of what I’d done. I have tears now thinking about it because sadly, that’s exactly how her disordered mind took it, eventually that part took over completely and destroyed any chance she would have to experience joy or connection in any way shape or form. She was given a BPD ASPD diagnosis and then basically marked as a trouble maker by our health system & ignored.
God, it’s bittersweet listening to this because it’s impossible to dismiss its relevance. I’m so tired. I’m 38 and have battled on my own trying to fix myself for so long, after trying to help my mother. Wasted so much money and achieved absolutely nothing, for myself or my mother. I don’t feel I have it in me anymore to start over on this. And after my life fell apart completely just before COVID and the life’s savings vanished in 2 years of lockdowns, now no longer can even afford to start over. I rarely play victim because I’m generally reluctant and proud to admit I’m struggling but in this situation now I’ve got nothing left to lose. And I’m mad…so very mad…where were my so called “family” in any of this. It’s astounding how selfish people can be and can go for decades completely ignorant of what’s right in-front of them, especially when a child was involved. What sort of people turn a blind eye and sleep at night? I know for sure I couldn’t, even if I wanted to. Life isn’t fair blah blah…🙄 Which I guess is another reason not to speak up, there’s nobody there to listen. There’s NOTHING in life more stinging than the shame you feel opening up to deaf ears. A lesson learned almost at light-speed.
Thank you for posting this, because your story here is going to be felt by many. These things are wrong that happen, and they should be heard, by people being strong and brave enough to share. So, thank you.
After being a lone wolf for 2 decades i feel the need to open up and search an intimate relationship and learn to trust again. Feel safe enough to let my guard down. I worked on self love, trauma release, shadow work. Now that i started to trust someone i backed down and now i am feeling fragmented. It is like i need an emotional connection to get in touch with my hidden parts but at the same time i am terrified of what is hidden.
Back in 2009 I lost the psychiatrist and therapy team I was working with when the program lost funding. My progress pretty much halted and I just tried to continue working on communication with my system. I tried many times to find another team but was unsuccessful. I thought I had a fairly cooperative system, but have discovered in the last few years that I am no where near as cooperative as I thought. I still have time loss regularly and amnesia walls and the stress the last couple years has only made things worse. I finally have an appt in Oct to see a new psychologist and I really hope it goes well and is a good fit. I find your videos very helpful in learning more about my own condition, so thank you for them.
All of my alters have specific “jobs” if you will… we are very organized except for my fragmented alter..which I am grateful for, however the amnesia is so hard to deal with, that and insomnia , which I have suffered with my entire life and I am now 60 yrs old. This is a very informative video, thank you
the way you talk abt osdd alters never fronting makes me feel more valid, as someone who suspects they have osdd-1b due to alters never seeming to go beyond passive influence
Hi Dr Lloyd, another amazing video! I have been struggling to identify my own triggers and ways to connecting to my parts. The Action System that you describe is so helpful in our internal mapping and understanding our fragmented brain with DID symptoms. There must be so much time and resources in developing this key issue of DID treatment. So blessed to have you and your team doing hard work for us. Much gratitude, Araya and (The Little Miss Sunshine System) 🌻
I haven't had the courage to talk about did with my therapist in full honesty because I feel like I'm making it up in my head. She diagnosed me with dissociative/depersonalization disorder but I just finally told her about my voices arguing and making agreements and dreams during my loss of consciousness, and she starting telling me about parts and family systems. I haven't mentioned that some of these voices have names and one the loudest one I can vaguely see.
Thank you for this brilliant video. I have D.I.D. with somatization and C-PTSD. I am 58 and diagnosed about five years ago. Attachment is, as you stated so empathetically, a core issue for me. Adopted at 2 weeks by a narcissistic personify disordered mother. She sexually abused me until around 8 years old. I later pieced together her father's pedophilia along with my aunt and uncle. I have benefited from EMDR. I need to talk about my parts because they are how I survived (without knowing who they were). My husband is quite familiar with them and likes it when my little one, comes out to play. I wish you were available to me. Some counselors didn't let me talk about my parts early on. I feel stabalized today. Just learning how to navigate God bless you for your videos!!!! They help me so much.
Once again a fascinating and very helpful video, thank you. I am part of an OSDD1b system (formally diagnosed) and am currently working towards collaborating with the other members of the system. Some in the system still need some taking care of and I think learning more about these action systems would help. I remember the subject was touched upon in "The Haunted Self' but I'd like to understand it in more detail. Thank you for the book recommendation. Looking forward to the next video.
Thank you. It makes a lot of sense. My system is In need of help and I am hopeful to get this thing running more smoothly rather than constant negativity feedback loops and hurtful comments from me and those around me. We will be strong again. we must
For a long time, I’ve always felt that extreme indecisiveness and attributed it to “being just a Libra” - until I found out I was part of a system this year. We’re a new found system, but now that I know about the different parts wanting to influence decisions made to the one fronting, it’s made my life WAY easier and makes it WAY better to figure out ways to make daily decisions, such as what to eat and what to wear, to big decisions such as moving forward to a new educational degree or entering a romantic partnership. Also, as a multicultural system with a family history of Intergenerational trauma, do you think you can make a video regarding Intergenerational trauma and how it contributes to trauma based disorders, especially in OSDD and DID?
Really good video, thank you as always. I actually have a little trauma holder part called Sadness and so I really resonates with the sadness action system you described as she is often triggered to the front with me because of childhood reminders, a lot of the time I'm not even aware of exactly what it is that she feels grief and sadness about so it can be confusing texting to figure out what's happened. But I'm learning how to comfort her and how to work with her slowly. It's very reassuring and validating seeing videos like this, it helps on the days where I think I'm just crazy and making this all up, and that's incredibly important so your efforts are appreciated. Have a great day
What is the best way to deal with a loved one who has around 6-7 parts, and they all love you but one has anger toward you. That part blames you for the trauma and abuse they suffered through others. Plus, all the parts hear voices, sometimes blaming you for things you had nothing to do with.
This is an AWESOME video Dr Mike. I will use it in therapy and also signpost to it in some training I’m helping with soon. The points made about Action systems has ignited a desire to read more on this. We also identify with the bears example! Love the pace in your videos as we process info quickly so your style ikeeps us engaged. Love this “How are we supposed to understand an identity unless we understand a personality” that you say towards the end. Watched this at 4.30 am when couldn’t sleep!
Excellent discussion, thank you!! And other videos of yours are proving helpful indeed. I will look up the literature you mention. I have a question. It is said that all the ‘evil’ parts are all protector parts. Is it possible that an ‘Inner Saboteur’ is actually an introjection from an abuser?
Like the intro music! Also, I never considered music as a trigger before... There are songs that definitely activate sadness that lasts for hours just because of a song so that's interesting to explore /thing about! :)
Thank you again for another helpfull video. I really appreciate that you can put this information in a short video. In my opinion this is exactly the kind of information we need to understand did/osdd and it gives a possibility to inform others in the right way. And that’s worth so much! So thank you again for putting in your time en effort to bring this in to the world! Looking forward to your next video.
Thank you for content that can be footnoted. (Those who blow off foot-note-content will probably buy this bridge I could sell them. The difference in layman opinions and logically ordered facts of the matter. Facts that describe what one needs to know to be able to understand the next set of facts, that will lead to another set of facts.) A footnoted fact w logic puts guessing out to pasture and opens the welcome-in- door to freedom from trying to figure something out from scratch. Helped me, what your said. Eleven days ago the dots connected and I experienced "someone else is at the helm, Has been an enlightening exhausting week. I am trying to find a psych clinic. I've had reasons in my past to attend therapy. It was great. I like knowing my truth. Enter truth exit self confusions and self doubt. Fight or flight is in my reputation and I always admit it. I don't or didn't understand why I literallyu run away from where ever I am. My first running away episode was on x-mas day, a Sunday, so were were going to church, I don't remember the content of that made me run, but I do have the memory of when it struck me to run away, get out, you get hurt so much, this is enough of this. Four years old and I walked to my room and packed a bag and left, over and over, run fast away. I remember a big run away drama at 17. It's been interrupting me all my life, across all roles. Thank you again for a great content.
I suppose I do not like the disorder word. I think the behavior is just exaggerated by the depth of the trauma that causes it. When I speak with other people, they have the same behavior, just not as disruptive. That speaks to my guideline for getting therapy, if whatever is going on stops one from moving forward, it's time to ask for help. Most of what I have been through was before any diagnosis had been thought of, so I had to come up with my own ways of coping. It helps to see the blessings of it and know had I not dissociated at the time, I would likely not be here now. Some of us have every reason to opt out and others may not eveen have survived it. Whatever happens and how we cope is good, it's how we survived to now. So instead of ignoring it or pushing it back, use it to our advantage. It can be helpful, in some situations to dissociate, the key is to realize it and come back. We are fragile and need to be gentle with ourselves, just because we do not fit into what society says, doesn't mean we are bad or doing anything wrong. We are not broken, I am also ADHD with autistic tendencies, just means we had more events that stretched our ability to cope. They are not disorders, they are coping mechanisms that help in the moment but need to evolve so as to not hurt our progress. I am tired of being labeled as anything other than a human being who has been through some shite. I do not want symapthy or to get away with not functioning, just some compassion while I work it out. It can all have a solution for each individual as long as we stop putting people in boxes and accept it is all about the human experience. This comment may not be relevant to anyone but helped me sort my thoughts, so thanks for the opportunity.
5:30-5:53 Hi Dr.Lloyd, I appreciate your TH-cam channel and I am grateful for you. Your explanation on DID and OSDD systems has helped tremendously in understanding what Action Systems are and how parts are influenced by attachment trauma through approach or avoidant behavior. I would like to ask a question about age and dissociative parts. Do you believe that it is possible for parts to identify as teenagers or young adults in a DID system? My system has 3 child EP’s, caretaker, ANP with two sub-parts, persecutor, and two fragments. The two sub-parts will often co-front with AMP and have had the ability to age continuously with AMP, but I did not have these 3 parts as they are today as a young child. I remember what was characteristics of them as a child, but I didn’t understand what was happening when they would take over. I really began noticing my AMP and sub-parts at age 15. Could it be possible that a system who experienced childhood trauma-forms dissociative parts as young adults to help protect the system from the original trauma and/or trauma from post-childhood relationships?
Daisy D Yes, I see this often. Parts formed early in childhood ‘take on’ ages according to need, people identified with, idealised self-identities...all sorts of reasons. Sometimes the parts age, sometimes they don’t.
The CTAD Clinic Thank you Dr.Lloyd for taking time and interest in responding to my question from your video. This was helpful in understanding how child parts will sometimes “take on ages” based on other internal factors such as in your examples mentioned. I believe that this knowledge can strengthen towards-approach behavior between system age groups. Also, I want to share how since discovering your channel, I’ve appreciated the way you communicate information on DID & OSDD throughly with clarity and flow. It has been so helpful!
Thank you for this understanding as I'm seeing and understanding one very special unique friend I have and this video has just explained a lot about him.
@@wibblewobble489 frustrating isn't it? I asked my T to watch this video- I think that there is something usefu here,l but it just can't quite get it here.
Is it possible to get a functional life or get better from D I D. I feel heard understood and like a person said on here so much comfort from you and our channel thanks So much. Also do you think use of mind altering drugs that I seen help alters come forward speak easier open up and or hypnosis or does talking psychotherapy work best on its own thank you so much
Does this mean, as a "strategy', that a part that is fearful or angry or sad, is encouraged to be somewhat a little curious, seeing a capacity in oneself to be also help-or playful? Or did I misunderstand (or just not good to explain myself)?
No matter how much I watch this I don't understand what you're saying. It's like everything you already said only 100 times more complicated. This video is making feel anxious.
popiejopie I agree! It’s the balance of making a complex subject fitting into a short TH-cam video, it is an overview, realistically. Normally this would be the topic of an entire morning’s workshop!
In OSDD can the host/dominant alter be replaced by what until that point has only been a passively influencing part of limited agency? Can there be a case that due to change in the system or an external trigger, the part that this far existed with little to no agency all of a sudden takes over the executive system and body and takes the place of the host?
Thanks, I am finding your channel fascinating. But with regard to to topic of this video I'm not sure if I understood how this relates to alters. Are you saying that certain alters will be more associated with certain of these factors?
Thanks for the question! Think of alters as the behavioural component of an action system, each ‘created’ by the traumatised brain to enact a process that is required for safety/survival (in the most basic sense).
Hi, I was wondering if you could explain what you meant when you said: “if you’re a therapist within your client’s system”? Is it possible for someone with DID or OSDD to have an alter that is a therapist?
I feel like I have both types of parts in my system, can you have OSDD parts and DID parts? I have a lot of parts who were created through brainwashing etc and parts that I feel like my brain developed to cope with home life. I refer to them as programmed parts and core parts in my head. The core parts can come out and switch but the programmed ones don't come out. Except for 1, who joined with one of the core parts and can now come out. I haven't met anyone else like me to ask if this is 'normal' for my kind of trauma and it has been bothering me for some time. I feel like your video helped me put this into words. Action systems perfectly describe what the mind control aspect is of the brainwashing. But I also see it in the way my core parts learnt to deal with things. A lot of my action systems are based on a core belief, if I can be good enough today I won't get hurt. The reason they held onto that for so long is that if they had to admit this wasn't true they would loose their perceived control over whether or not they got hurt. It took me a really long time to convince them it was making life worse not better!
We have programed parts, too, and I'm not really sure if there's exactly a "normal" in that regard haha, but we very much relate with everything you're describing (though our programed parts can front, but it's... Different... Than how the parts of us that we made for home life etc switch). But yeah, we relate, and it makes sense to us. Ps. You have really good insights
@@proudlyplural9506 hey, thanks for replying to me. I've not met anyone else like me before and it felt really affirming to be understood. But I'm kind of conflicted saying that because if you understand, I know you have been through a lot. I appreciate your kindness.
Just learning about this have been in therapy about 5 months . I talk to them all the time to help integration. Been through much trama. Mine show up under very stressful situation . 4-5 yrs between times since about 17 yrs old . I’m praying we get integrated so I can have peace and feel myself again. When Integration happens can they be triggered again . Tk I for your info .
I've heard they can start to appear once you've finally felt like you're settled and you're at a mental state now where you are able to handle and confront your past. Because you are in a safe place now and have matured to a point where you can handle these things. They were set on the back burner until you were ready. And I've heard too that when your raising a kid, when they hit certain ages or life staged that can set off your triggers from that same age.
@@andydriver5009 probably you're talking about introjects or persecutors? I think CTAD has another video about unwanted alters and probably dissociaDID has some good videos as well. I've no experience myself. What I've learned through research is that these abusive parts are trying to protect you, they're mostly stuck in trauma time and have learned unhealthy coping mechanisms because they were never able to learn healthier ones. Mainly, they need to be treated with empathy, support, love, and acceptance. They are very wounded, very scared, and very hurt. Suicidal parts can see themselves as trying to protect the body from any further pain by ending their life, the Entropy System has a video of her experience with her persecutor who later went on to become a protector - dissociaDID mentioned that it's not uncommon that persecutors go on to become the best protectors. They might be lashing out at others or self sabotaging because they are afraid of the harm, the trauma, the loss that might come from those relationships. Or maybe they are hyper critical and perfectionistic, because they feel they need to be strong and worthy and perfect to escape any abuse, abandonment, or trauma they would experience otherwise. they are afraid of being unworthy or abandoned. I'm not familiar with any of my parts if they're there. Trying to get back into therapy and learning all that I can until then. I'd definitely suggest looking at some of dissociaDID or the Entropy systems videos on the subject for more personal accounts. MultiplicityandMe as well.
What happens in therapy if your therapist and treating team don’t get DID I Ben told font need understand and I don’t have to educate them it doesn’t make difference if people understand DID or not when treating me
I won't be able to express this very well but I need to try as it has been making us really unwell lately. Via twitter and Facebook groups that I am in for DID, there is a huge amount of people joining who do not have DID but are role play people. There is also a large amount who are saying that you can get DID without having trauma. They say it is even in the DSM, but when other people ask them to back it up or prove it, they won't. Could you PLEASE tell us if it is true that you can have this disorder without having the trauma? Is it in the DSM. I have no energy to do any research as I am at my wits end. Thank you, I would be grateful for any help with this.
Hi Jazmine. We hope you don't mind us answering, but the long and short answer is NO. DID is caused by intense, prolonged trauma and the DSM V absolutely does NOT say that DID can be caused without it. Anyone stating that has no understanding of how DID is formed. DID is formed BY TRAUMA. The trauma does NOT have to be sexual, or abusive, but can also be environmental (a war, natural disaster, deprivation of basic needs) in nature. DID CANNOT form after the age range of 9 to 10 years of age, despite later traumas- this is due to the way the brain forms the final personality from the ego states. Trauma interrupts this process. We cover this and also the Theory of Structural Dissociation in our video here: th-cam.com/video/pxnE8wlmECE/w-d-xo.html. We also have a variety of other videos covering DID and a series of episodes designed specially for System Littles where we have created a Safe Space for them to enjoy and listen to stories. Many systems have found it comforting. We understand how you feel, it's a very complex disorder. There's alot of confusion and misinformation out there. Hang in there, you're not alone. --- The Infinity System💕💪👥(Loved, Strong, Not Alone)
I suspect that I have a dissociative disorder (not DID) and your videos have been very helpful. My therapist even said we could look into it last time I saw her :)
But how can you tell if its a highly influential osdd part or a did part? when they both take your body, voice and words during triggers in therapy but you vaguely remember it.
How did you know the person who was triggered by your facial hair, was triggered? Was there a noticable response that you ended up following up on insidscussion with the incividual? What are these subtle changes you talk about, that tell you someone is dissociating?
This information is very helpful I have been unofficially diagnosed with the ID but my therapist and my psychiatrist are going on the assumption that I have it and I have a want to of my alters that affect the body which is made a host rogue she is a 10-year-old and she is a runaway from home and lives on the streets and she loves gummy bears so much that a lot of times I have to keep telling her that we don’t have any gummy bears in the house right now and when there are she gravitate right toward him and grabs him with me knowing what’s going on it was supposed to be grabs them and she will pick them up and go over to the couch controlling me my actions and sitting down and start eating the gummy bears and then rogue is very very unsure about people after work apparently it happened to her and I also have another one that came out night before last night her name is Lisa she came out completely but I could still hear and see and feel what was going on because I was cold conscious with her and she helped get my wife in the bed from her power wheelchair and handled everything as good if not better than what I do and yeah I did have a voice change pitch and I think some of my mannerisms during that episode had changed as well as when rogue was trying to come out and she was Cole conscious but controlling me I believe there are some mannerisms that changed with her as well and because I have pancreatitis I have to keep her under control so that I don’t overdo it on the sugar but thank you very much for this information I really greatly appreciate it I have a three rolled as well she likes staying in her room and playing with toys anyone that comes in she instantly goes into a scream of fear and she never comes out of that room I have a fairy also she’s over 125 years and she keeps me in a happy mood and she’s very inquisitive and curious of everything and I also have 11 and she is scared of everything and she also has fear of people and she knows and feels that she was experimented on in a government laboratory and I also have another one called seven of nine I have no idea what she looks like but she is one that makes me angry and affects me in many ways including wanting to destroy things and she also which I’ve been fighting she causes me to have self harm or even suicidal thoughts and or actions going back to Lesa she is a Carpenter has her own workshop and her own tools to build things and as host so do I so I sure a bit with her more as far as likes with carpentry and woodworking she is also got my visual problem as well and she still functions well with talking tape measure a talking level and many other things that a blind person could use and I am legally blind with only light and shadow and some shapes and colors are fading out on me I just figured I would give you an outline of how I am affected by all of my alters
Hi I am needing advice please I am in inpatient treatment and I have been working so hard but not all get D I D And in the mornings I am in a really young alter part and until I get my meds and cold water breakfast I start to come right and move out that part to be able to function they get my water and give me meds and prepare my breakfast and i need company to eat or I stay stuck company grounds me and just then talk to me say eat and show how use spoon I have no idea how to get out of this part first thing in morning to function the food and drink grounds me and company without company and food I go deeper deeper into trauma what do I do cause they say get on and do it yourself now but in morning I wake up terribly frightened baby part and there’s no snapping out of it by choice they reckon yes nor if I have company people are being I am bringing people to my trauma but I’m in another part and don’t know what to do if I dont get out of it I stay stuck in it please any advice because some nurses think a choice
Hi Michelle, We cannot offer specific advice, more only to say that for any work wth dissociation to be useful in inpatient settings, the staff there need to understand what dissociation is. They should be compassionate about it and to have solid approaches for managing parts and behaviours associated with dissociation.
I have 3 questions; So sorry this is so long. I'm having a hard time trying to be succinct lol 1) So for every action system eg defence, attachment, procreation etc- there are both Approach and Aversion behaviours? 2) Are these behaviours usually encapsulated within a singular alter? -- if not, is this why the average amount of alters for a DID system is so high? I wonder if its common in your experiecne Mike, for DID'ians to have an alter or group of alters for each of the categories you mentioned? For eg I'm the host of a poly frag'd system and if i've understood your content correctly, for us there are at least 1 alter for every single approach and avoidance category/behaviour for every action system you've listed. Eg, We have (groups of) people solely dedicated to curiocity, others solely dedicated to nurturing and others for play etc etc same with the aversions ones. Groups of those who hold fear, others who hold rage and anger and revenge fantasies etc.... I wonder if that fracturing is the result of the 7 or so main first (biggest and strongest alters these days) being pushed beyond their personal limits with regards to their own action systems? Or perhaps because each action system is so different and our brain REALLY likes organisation, that we split more and more because "thats' not my job"(something i hear a lot from the alters lol) Even though these first 7 or so are very very well rounded and do encompass multiple behaviours and purposes. I'm guessing there was just a coping requirement for more people and with every new situational difference, it created a new alter to handle it. Is that common in DID? To amke a new alter for every new situational change? Eg A Change in perpetrator (we had a group of them)= new alter for every single action system created as needed..The result is a massive system, 50% of which i'm co-con with and we rarely lose time. It's this first one who has main control most of the time and the 2nd one is comprised of all the essentially "duplicates" (sounds so inhumane, they're definitely not fragments lol). I've never really understood WHYYY there were so many of us, but after watching this video i think i understand much better now. Thank you Mike I feel like less of an anigma now lol :) 3) Is it rational and makes sense that the little ones holding the sadness over their lost toys would be calmed by the replacement of said toys in adulthood. We have sought out to replace some of the very key important toys we had in the 90's and ive noticed an immediate calming of the entire system and those little's who were so deeply saddened seem to have melted back deeper inside and are rarely heard of or seen again. Unless and until they front and play with said toy... I guess i struggle with how you could or would support an alter through the grief of their toy without replaceing it when it appears to be anyway- their entire sole purpose for existing...to be comforted by said toy.
Sorry I lack focus at the moment haha, I think my initial thought would be just to consider that alter might just be seeking comfort? So idk if you have the means to replace the toy, but maybe you could try to use inner world to give them the toy again, even if it's not in the physical world? And/or maybe consider if there's other ways to comfort them? Maybe they could choose a new toy, or might be comforted by getting to choose to have something fun like hot coco or cuddling in a soft blankie or building a fort or sitting on rocking chair or listening to a favorite song or a child's TV show or... Whatever might work for y'all? Just brainstorming... I know it's really hard when there's an alter that you don't know how to understand and how to help etc. Hope you have a great day! :)
@@proudlyplural9506 THanks for your thoughts. We already do all of those things for every one of our 200 alters LOLOL. they're VERY well taken care of inner world. But for us, we attached to physical tangible outside objects as kids (as research shows most traumatised kids tend to do when people are unsafe), so it really is about that sole physical item..thankfully, we are a chlid of the late 80's and our childhood was inthe 90's so i've been able to actually get the same toys or very close replicas of them for almost all the alters :D Winning! hahaha.
So many good questions - this is why being in therapy with someone experienced helps, all these should be discussed and figured out for you individually in that environment.
@@thectadclinic yeh, i would be if the nearest DID aware therapist wasn't $300 a half hr and 15hrs away from me LOL. I'm also yet to mee 1 who doesn't wanna delve into trauma asap and essentially study us.
@@wibblewobble489 YES! Haha... Very very much relate, we are in similar situation, and yeah... Straight up have some stuff that I have no idea how to process because they seem to be clear result of therapist digging in things and... Yeah. It's unethical for therapists to do that. It would never be done for any other trauma disorder in that way, and it seems like the assumption is that it's better to be a single person than multiple, vs just helping the client live their healthiest life. DID people have a right to safe and proven treatment just like anyone else with any other struggles. Anyways, sorry, haha, I get really angry since been looking into the research etc, it makes us angry that other DID people have been treated like some fascinating science experiment, too...we are people. Multiples are not less valuable in worth as human beings than singles, they are just different. Oh and yeah, glad to see that you're grew up similar time as us, we would have suggested eBay (we have a sibling with autism and have been SO THANKFUL to live in the time of ebay, haha, there's been some super random stuff that have been essential at different times for him, and golly idk how we would have been able to handle that in any time before the time we live in! ) we've had our "comfort items" as well, though unfortunately there's stuff that we can't recall the name of etc. Really interesting point about children with trauma attaching to objects, I'm not sure if I'd heard of that before, it certainly makes sense and lines up with our experience as well! Anyways, sorry to hear you're having similar struggles with therapy as we are. It's really rubbish for it to be so ridiculously hard... There's plenty of struggles that come directly from DID, but it really seems like such a large portion of struggle from DID is not so much *because of* DID, but just from the shame, and lack of accessibility, and just stuff that's logistical and really not necessary. We hope things will be large improvement in the future and things will not be so hard for DID, at least the things that don't have to be hard. Stigma has improved in the last few years so that's a promising direction at least :)
@@thectadclinic I m inpatient and don’t think they get DID my therapist now when go she won’t interact with whoever fronts with her who too young to communicate with her she demands another part to come through which doesn’t happen so nothing happens think pressure is coming from others in clinical team it was good till week ago and now she had taken this way and left us very bad place and I can’t force a switch to please her now she is reminding me of bad personal feels really controlling and I we are a mess I don’t know what to do I am helper part but we mostly very stuck baby young parts no words non verbal and they blaming michelle for being stuck can you please help I’m not in Australia or America just past Australia. And very very disabled from DID and your video here describes how they should be understanding us but they just forcing and doing to me us we don’t know how to play I switch a lot thank you hope said nothing scary triggering
So, I don't *disagree* with anything specific that you've said, and I think you share many great ideas and good approaches for systems and their allies... However, after learning more in depth about what the theory of structural dissociation means, it helps explain the intent behind many actions of therapists over the years which were harmful to us, however well intended, and I guess the thing is, regardless of *HOW* DID formed, and regardless of if being multiple is atypical (which granted, it is, but atypical in itself is not a mental illness, the assumption that a person "should be" only one person per body simply because that's how most people experience the world is unethical... The treatment of mental illness should seek to minimize distress /disorder and increase healthy behaviors... So while these suggestions *do* align with that goal, I just don't feel that the assumption that being a single person is by default the ideal goal, if possible... Yes, it could be argued that, most likely, if there had not been trauma in early childhood, the person would likely have become one individual person....but the trauma (it whatever other reason someone might develop that way) *did* happen, and even if, for example, one system were simply a person who exists in that life during the night and the other during the day... Those two alters are both separate and equally important and valid people. They've lived full lives, separate from knowing each other. They've have different experiences. They may have been made with the same clay, or the essence of who that person is... But they have lived different lives, and grown into different people than each other. I know all alters share the same body and life and such, so a system is different in some ways from an individual person, and I don't want to imply that I disagree with fusion - I just think it tends to happen naturally when the mind feels like it makes sense, at least in our system (and we've gained a LOT of shame and greater self hate and distress and just.... Things have been much harder for us to work together when we've had a therapist who believed the ideal outcome was full fusion, despite it being our "choice".... It always felt shameful to discuss any other possibilities, as if it was something like smoking that clearly is accepted to be unhealthy, so while the client would always be the one choosing to stop smoking, there's clearly a healthy or not healthy option.... So I just don't know that therapists all consider the pressure that societal norms combined with the authority of the therapist end up placing on a particular outcome. I got off topic, I'm sorry about that, I just... I disagree with the idea that alters are all part of the same unified personality. Even if they could have become a unified sense of self had trauma not occurred, I don't know why it's assumed that a unified sense of self is not achived within alters themselves. Not all are, but that doesn't mean they can't be. And I know that alters often do have a certain role in a system, or at least they likely came to existence for a certain role.. But that doesn't mean that's all that alter is. If someone loses their job, they don't stop existing, haha, so there seems to be the assumption of that occurring with alters, and that's not been true for us. And no, it's not because we are unwilling to work through trauma. Though the premise that trauma is what keeps alters separate seems to... Lead to therapists being very eager to dig through traumas, in a way that would not be ethical in any other diagnosis or context, and I'm not sure why it's accepted the way it is. Anyhow, I'm sure I'm not explaining this in the way I'd like, but I have limited neurological spoons and this is what I have. I do appreciate you providing this content, and I honestly don't really expect my points to be understood, but we've done a great deal of research and thinking on the topic and this is what we believe. DID is a mental illness, not because it's different than typical, but because of the parts that cause disorder/distress. Multiplicity, in itself, isn't a disorder, it's just neurodiversity. Sometimes distress also comes from society, or even from mental health professionals, even if they are well intentioned. It was not long ago that the LGBTQ+ community was seen as mentally ill because they were just not typical. Autistic individuals are often taught that their forms of expression are "wrong" just because they aren't typical, and I've disagreed with that premise my whole life, and it's good to see more voices from that community are starting to be heard... Not enough, from either community, and I know they are different, but just the concept of how we view "healthy" is the point... Typical just means typical. I think it's fascinating to ponder what might lead to someone becoming DID, but I think it's important to not get stuck on why, because the fact is, we don't really know exactly, and it is what it is regardless, and it just seems like there's this obsession on restoring someone to a hypothetical self that had not ever existed, and assuming that all alters are part of that hypothetical unified sense of self that theoretically would have formed when they were a child... It just seems unfounded, and frankly, unfair. I don't know why it's seen as wrong to just be who we are. We aren't broken. Nor are we all the same person. We have the same soul, and the same body, but we aren't each other. Nor should we be told that if one of us wants something that the others of us must also want it, too, deep down. No, haha... No. We've been through that, and that's just like some bizarre gaslighting exercise that makes us try to convince ourselves of things that aren't true and it's just maddening haha.
We 1000% concur with everything you said (co-con poly frag system over here) I as a host have a fundamental disagreement with a lot of the theory. I feel it is simply 'experts' trying to put DID into a nice neat little box so that they can "fix" the person sitting in the T's office. It IS helpful at times though... Through our own growth and healing processes the theory of Struc. Diss. has been helpful in the sense of identifying who does what within our system (like, they all already knew lololol but i didn't), how people work and why they do certain behaviours...And especially how they came to be... But yes- you're very right- the theory REALLLLLLLY prioritizes the one with the bodys birth name taking on all the trauma that was too much for the psyche previous to now (and somehow not getting ptsd even though trained therapists get it from hearing our trauma), and that the alters once they've "processed" (there's a magical unicorn term if ever i've heard one) the alter will peacefully blend with the host or someone else and cease to be (but we are supposed to believe they're still there, just without any control---sounds like death to us personally but whatever lol) and then everything will be ok cos congrats you're a "healthy and NORMAL" person now... like what?!??!!?!? Right after they just finish touting about how these structural nurological brain changes occur in childhood and are irrepairable. You can't just think your way to a new sized amydala as far as i know LOL These days its like they've realised the DID community who actually cares about their alters won't stand for this inhumane treatment of both 'parts' and hosts. And so as a result, they're now pushing cooperation among parts as the primary therapeutic goal. Which, in my mind, isn't a bad thing at all...But there does stil exist a push by therapists/psychologists and psychiatrists to get to the "real" person and for the "real" person (the birth cert named one) to take on ALLLLLL the knowledge of perhaps decades of abuse. and yes, like you said, to go wading through the systems trauma history to achieve such a task. All of course, under the disguise of 'processing'. I just take the whole thing with a grain of salt thse days. My first priority isn't knowing my trauma history and frankly, the parts i have known and been learning from the others over the past 8 yrs have given me significantly more PTSD and resulted in me the host being traumatized, as well as my highly trained trauma therapist! The fact remains, there are just some atrocities that will traumatise ANYONE who learns of them, see's them or hears of them. So why on earth would that or SHOULD that be the primary goal of any intervention? Nope, hard pass... ahahaha, i've learned to leave well enough alone and help the others as best i can with whatever i can at my disposal. Easing their suffering is the first goal and talking about it does fuck all, and only serves to traumatise those who hear/see it. lol
@@wibblewobble489 YES YES YES!!! haha, so freaking glad to see we're not the only ones coming to this conclusion! Thanks so much for sharing! :) We are also polyfragmented system, I'm pretty sure we had several co-con at the time, idk, I just read it back but we've got increasingly migraine making thinking just like... Not working hahaha. Kinda bummer, too, cause it seems like when neurological resources are limited, our brain/mind tends to just have one of us fronting, usually that's me, and I don't mind, but I just... I appreciate that a bunch of us can just regularly be Co con, or at least like, I'll be trying to type out something and when there's something that others have a point about, they will just kinda be co con at that moment, idk if that makes sense, it's pretty fascinating how many different ways things can work and yeah, haha, I seriously don't know why I don't just go to sleep, I'm being very silly, but I just... We feel very strongly about this stuff and we really appreciated your reply, thank you so much!
I think a major action system is missing from the paradigm. I don't know what to call it, but "Cyclic Harmonizing" describes it crudely. In effect, coming into harmony with the rhythms and cycles of life, with the natural world, and with respect to disciplined, routine behaviors. It may not fit for other primates and mammals who only forage and react in the moment, and that's probably the model that informed the idea of "Major" for them. But humans are unique in that we've integrated culture, routine and discipline into the very fabric of our social existence. It's easy for me to care for myself and others and be accountable reactively when there's an immediate pressing need or when I've agreed to commit to doing a particular action in the future. But I find it nearly impossible to initiate and sustain self-efficacious, routine behavior. And I don't think this is a higher level of action. I think it is absolutely fundamental to being human and should be considered a Major action system. A day does not go by when the sun doesn't rise and set. We don't live in a fully chaotic and reactive world.
Sub categories? Oh come on. Too much, I don't get it. I'm chronically numb, Fearful Angry and Sad. And I don't understand what is meant by personality. I need this dumbed down. You get to the point quickly without all these categories. And subcategories. I watched 3 times and I still don't get it.
I can see I've seen this video before - one more time can not hurt, with this content [i know triggers] but it's healing to know we're not alone 🤍 Thank you!
This was really fascinating. I'm part of a DID system and my motto that I share with every alter that I meet is, "If you are here, there is a reason." We have been working hard to understand each others' reasons for existing, what goals each of us are trying to meet, and how those goals might be reframed going forward.
That’s a lovely way of looking at it. To find that reason may well be the key, not easy though!
Well said, thank you. I needed to hear that today, we never know when our comments, no matter how simple, will help another. I appreciate your taking the time to comment.
that's awesome - my 'conversations' are much like that.
Thank you from a non-system, non-therapist, for sharing such complex yet incredibly interesting information
I'm pretty sure I have a dissociative disorder, that is not DID, my therapy is going well, and I have begun noticing the kind of moments you describe, where something will trigger a shift in how I behave so strongly, and I feel I have no active control over that shift. So progress is happening, I see the events now. Now for compassion and empathy and healing and stuff :D
I describe a similar feeling as being like a different “program” suddenly got loaded on my brain computer, and I’m just strapped in for the ride.
The way you explained the ambiguity of time within dissociated parts finally made me realize why I always have this feeling that time is more like a place, and that I can go back to my lost pets, friends or other things that I lost. It's almost too meta to describe, but I always feel like nothing is truly gone and I'm just living in an alternate reality without them, if that makes sense. Of course, then real life hits me hard.
Thank you for the comment, hopefully it works out ok for you.
we are quantum, Diana. ..... real life is part of the whole .... we are able as we heal and understand ... the interconnectedness of all beings and all phenomena .... we are more intelligent than the herd of singlets .... very difficult .... challenge courage toward total victory .... keep the best .... understand the rest ....
and of course, rest the most important for us to regenerate ... our brains use more energy ....
i have the same feeling !!
The theory of structural dissociation changed my life!
Ps. I have osdd but have had times when the parts completely have taken over but usually just with emotional amnesia and sometimes recall issues
My old therapist (I stopped seeing her when what I originally went to her for was finished) suspected some structural dissociation, even left me with a model of triggers, trauma memories and the ANP/EPs, I can't go back to see her and have been having lots of trouble trying to get in to see another therapist so I can try to work out what's going on. Your videos are so immensely helpful, really helps me to understand things better. I'm so grateful about how much you discuss OSDD. My big thing is that while I feel highly influenced, there was only one time when I felt like the words coming out of my mouth weren't my own. I've always been confused by my own actions and not understood why I do what I do, why I self sabotage all my relationships, I have no idea who I am sometimes. I think there's a good possibility for OSDD. I'd appreciate a video that went into internal communication a bit more, so many videos are first hand experiences and those individual experiences vary so widely so they're not the most useful. But since you talk about things on a broader scale, I'd be interested to hear what you had to say about it. I don't hear voices I don't think. I also don't feel like I'm constantly actively thinking up the thoughts that come into my head? I know that alters can take away thoughts in addition to thought insertion, I'd be interested in hearing some more about all of that stuff and how it can differ between osdd/did systems.
Can't stress how grateful I am for your content.
I second this !
I hope that its ok for me to send you this link.. the pages aren't that complicated but there are specific quides to help anyone who can't get into T.
Kind
Kindest.Org
@@Maremacbmf I don't think that link is working?
@@kane2906 I reposted it for you!!
Wow! This has been your most helpful video yet. We are trying very hard to understand each other. We can't get therapy, but we can educate ourselves. Thank you so much for this information! You have no idea the knowledge and comfort your videos bring our relatively, sort of newly discovered-ish system. Honestly! I really don't think you know. Anyway, have a great day. Thanks again.
DID Hatchery Thank you so much, it is hearing how important the channel can be that makes it so worthwhile to me. I really appreciate you saying this.
Listen to this over and over, and get something each time. It's so hard to pay attention, we need to listen again. love the idea of the "whole personality" which is all of us , a chorus, an orchestra, harmonious, at once cacophonous, then delicate and airy tunes. Thank you.
Thank you! I am a DID system and have been attempting this process with my therapist for 2.5 years now and have been in a state of rapid change for nearly a year. My most ‘out there disruptive’ parts that I have gained communication with have fused with more stable parts that are more active, but each time this happens it’s like starting from scratch! I have 8 parts that handle most of my everyday actions, and 6 have changed - 3 in the last 3 months. It’s like my whole brain has been rewired and I feel like none of my responses are predictable anymore. This has helped me refocus, so thank you.
Thank you for sharing this, trying to find the words that can tell others what I/we experience can be extremely difficult - especially when survival brain steps or other pieces are more active. Not having words is itself a potential trigger at times 🥴 (still sorting that bit out) and also a barrier to effectively preserving insights I have into some of what happens. I was fairly certain there was some blending of parts happening as well as some new things in the deep thoughts and values sense. I wasn't sure if that was possible or if I was just that disconnected so I am also appreciative that you shared about personality evolutions. That was one spot I did find words for haha!
I love to work because I don't usually switch , and other parts (mostly) don't exert executive control in a co-conscious manner. It is very difficult (nearly impossible, really) to explain their comments and actions to other people without revealing my diagnosis and risking the stigma of a disorder that is so poorly understood. Understanding why they behave as they do has not helped me develop compassion for them as much as my therapist would like. They have created a lot of practical problems as they react to my adult life as if we were back in "trauma time".
Cathy It is so difficult, but don’t give up on working towards that empathy!
It'll probably get better when you stop seeing yourself as the "real one". There was a lot of "me" and "my life" in your comment...which i can assure you, as a host of a polyfrag system who's mostly always co-con- the day you stop acting and living as though you're the only one in the body and the others are intruders- is the day things will drastically improve. You've gotta stop living for yourself and your wants and put them first. They'll react really quickly if they're anything like mine LOL. It also helps empathy too- to put yourself in their shoes. Think about what their abuse was actually like as a tiny child, get down on the floor and view the world and grown ups from a kids perspective- then throw in terror, pain and being ignored ontop of it... ;) It helped me really grasp the others and their shitty existence and helped me WANT to be better for them...the second i made that commitment, was the second they ceased all "negative" behaviours and our life got a whole lot happier, easier and more friendly
We LOVE this video! While our daughter is now grown, she was able to see our alters (we didn’t know it, and she didn’t know they were alters then) when she was younger. We were a very stable system before we “broke down” (for lack of a better term) after multiple, severe traumas in a three day time period about two years ago.
After that, we became a destabilized system, but still “us”, if that makes sense. We’re starting to work together again, but it’s WORK.
That said, many of our lifelong friends are afraid for their children, some are not (and we’re so happy we can still be around those families) and we’ve been terribly saddened by the ones we have lost.
We know it is because of their lack of understanding and due to misrepresentation in the media/general public. So, thank you so much for making educational videos, such as this, that we can share. Hopefully many people will see these and learn that we, and many systems like us, are still safe around their families. ❤
At 14:16, you mention an issue we coincidentally just brought up yesterday with our psychiatrist. It's kind of funny how that happens. I'll note this video in our communication diary with our psychiatrist. The comms diary helps people who can't always contribute to write something about how they're feeling. So far, no luck yet, but it's a door I'm keeping open.
I really appreciate your insightful comments and compassionate attitude. It's so easy to condemn oneself for avoidant behaviors instead of understanding their function and importance for survival. I'd read that narcissism is frequently present in people with OSDD and DID as well, but your description of its defensive origins makes total sense in the context of trauma and abuse. Thanks for that!
Thank you, Arista, your positivity is appreciated!
12:49 WOW…at 7 years old I lost a cheap emerald dress ring the first day after I got it and can still feel the deep shame and guilt because it was the most amazing thing my mother had ever given me & I knew how poor we were so I treasured it with every single part of my being. I felt so strongly that I’d let her down & that I’d made her feel like anything she did was worthless because of what I’d done. I have tears now thinking about it because sadly, that’s exactly how her disordered mind took it, eventually that part took over completely and destroyed any chance she would have to experience joy or connection in any way shape or form.
She was given a BPD ASPD diagnosis and then basically marked as a trouble maker by our health system & ignored.
God, it’s bittersweet listening to this because it’s impossible to dismiss its relevance.
I’m so tired. I’m 38 and have battled on my own trying to fix myself for so long, after trying to help my mother. Wasted so much money and achieved absolutely nothing, for myself or my mother.
I don’t feel I have it in me anymore to start over on this. And after my life fell apart completely just before COVID and the life’s savings vanished in 2 years of lockdowns, now no longer can even afford to start over.
I rarely play victim because I’m generally reluctant and proud to admit I’m struggling but in this situation now I’ve got nothing left to lose. And I’m mad…so very mad…where were my so called “family” in any of this. It’s astounding how selfish people can be and can go for decades completely ignorant of what’s right in-front of them, especially when a child was involved.
What sort of people turn a blind eye and sleep at night? I know for sure I couldn’t, even if I wanted to.
Life isn’t fair blah blah…🙄
Which I guess is another reason not to speak up, there’s nobody there to listen. There’s NOTHING in life more stinging than the shame you feel opening up to deaf ears. A lesson learned almost at light-speed.
Thank you for posting this, because your story here is going to be felt by many. These things are wrong that happen, and they should be heard, by people being strong and brave enough to share. So, thank you.
After being a lone wolf for 2 decades i feel the need to open up and search an intimate relationship and learn to trust again. Feel safe enough to let my guard down. I worked on self love, trauma release, shadow work. Now that i started to trust someone i backed down and now i am feeling fragmented.
It is like i need an emotional connection to get in touch with my hidden parts but at the same time i am terrified of what is hidden.
Back in 2009 I lost the psychiatrist and therapy team I was working with when the program lost funding. My progress pretty much halted and I just tried to continue working on communication with my system. I tried many times to find another team but was unsuccessful. I thought I had a fairly cooperative system, but have discovered in the last few years that I am no where near as cooperative as I thought. I still have time loss regularly and amnesia walls and the stress the last couple years has only made things worse. I finally have an appt in Oct to see a new psychologist and I really hope it goes well and is a good fit. I find your videos very helpful in learning more about my own condition, so thank you for them.
how are you doing, DarkenCoul? I am coming late to the conversation. :) David and Lani
All of my alters have specific “jobs” if you will… we are very organized except for my fragmented alter..which I am grateful for, however the amnesia is so hard to deal with, that and insomnia , which I have suffered with my entire life and I am now 60 yrs old. This is a very informative video, thank you
the way you talk abt osdd alters never fronting makes me feel more valid, as someone who suspects they have osdd-1b due to alters never seeming to go beyond passive influence
im dissociated almost all the time. i still live with my parents, who are a trigger. i imagine my constant dissociation will decrease upon moving out?
Hi Dr Lloyd, another amazing video! I have been struggling to identify my own triggers and ways to connecting to my parts. The Action System that you describe is so helpful in our internal mapping and understanding our fragmented brain with DID symptoms. There must be so much time and resources in developing this key issue of DID treatment. So blessed to have you and your team doing hard work for us.
Much gratitude,
Araya and (The Little Miss Sunshine System) 🌻
Araya Sununkingpet You are welcome, thank you!
Thank you, again, for sharing your professional expertise and giving actual reliable information about DID.
The Infinity System Thank you, very kind of you!
I haven't had the courage to talk about did with my therapist in full honesty because I feel like I'm making it up in my head. She diagnosed me with dissociative/depersonalization disorder but I just finally told her about my voices arguing and making agreements and dreams during my loss of consciousness, and she starting telling me about parts and family systems. I haven't mentioned that some of these voices have names and one the loudest one I can vaguely see.
Thank you for this brilliant video. I have D.I.D. with somatization and C-PTSD. I am 58 and diagnosed about five years ago. Attachment is, as you stated so empathetically, a core issue for me. Adopted at 2 weeks by a narcissistic personify disordered mother. She sexually abused me until around 8 years old. I later pieced together her father's pedophilia along with my aunt and uncle. I have benefited from EMDR. I need to talk about my parts because they are how I survived (without knowing who they were). My husband is quite familiar with them and likes it when my little one, comes out to play. I wish you were available to me. Some counselors didn't let me talk about my parts early on. I feel stabalized today. Just learning how to navigate
God bless you for your videos!!!! They help me so much.
Thank you!
Once again a fascinating and very helpful video, thank you. I am part of an OSDD1b system (formally diagnosed) and am currently working towards collaborating with the other members of the system. Some in the system still need some taking care of and I think learning more about these action systems would help. I remember the subject was touched upon in "The Haunted Self' but I'd like to understand it in more detail. Thank you for the book recommendation. Looking forward to the next video.
Thank you. It makes a lot of sense. My system is In need of help and I am hopeful to get this thing running more smoothly rather than constant negativity feedback loops and hurtful comments from me and those around me. We will be strong again. we must
It took me a couple of watches of this video because I found it quite complex, but now I understand it and it’s fascinating! Thanks for the info :)
Haha.. you are having it better than me.. I've listened so many times I can probably recite it.. still trying tho. Hate when my brain malfunctions
For a long time, I’ve always felt that extreme indecisiveness and attributed it to “being just a Libra” - until I found out I was part of a system this year.
We’re a new found system, but now that I know about the different parts wanting to influence decisions made to the one fronting, it’s made my life WAY easier and makes it WAY better to figure out ways to make daily decisions, such as what to eat and what to wear, to big decisions such as moving forward to a new educational degree or entering a romantic partnership.
Also, as a multicultural system with a family history of Intergenerational trauma, do you think you can make a video regarding Intergenerational trauma and how it contributes to trauma based disorders, especially in OSDD and DID?
Really good video, thank you as always. I actually have a little trauma holder part called Sadness and so I really resonates with the sadness action system you described as she is often triggered to the front with me because of childhood reminders, a lot of the time I'm not even aware of exactly what it is that she feels grief and sadness about so it can be confusing texting to figure out what's happened. But I'm learning how to comfort her and how to work with her slowly. It's very reassuring and validating seeing videos like this, it helps on the days where I think I'm just crazy and making this all up, and that's incredibly important so your efforts are appreciated. Have a great day
Wow, I friend told me to come here! I've never heard an explanation so cristal clear in my life. Thanks you doctor !
That is so kind, thank your friend for me!
What is the best way to deal with a loved one who has around 6-7 parts, and they all love you but one has anger toward you. That part blames you for the trauma and abuse they suffered through others. Plus, all the parts hear voices, sometimes blaming you for things you had nothing to do with.
This is an AWESOME video Dr Mike. I will use it in therapy and also signpost to it in some training I’m helping with soon. The points made about Action systems has ignited a desire to read more on this. We also identify with the bears example!
Love the pace in your videos as we process info quickly so your style ikeeps us engaged. Love this “How are we supposed to understand an identity unless we understand a personality” that you say towards the end.
Watched this at 4.30 am when couldn’t sleep!
Excellent discussion, thank you!! And other videos of yours are proving helpful indeed. I will look up the literature you mention.
I have a question. It is said that all the ‘evil’ parts are all protector parts. Is it possible that an ‘Inner Saboteur’ is actually an introjection from an abuser?
Like the intro music! Also, I never considered music as a trigger before... There are songs that definitely activate sadness that lasts for hours just because of a song so that's interesting to explore /thing about! :)
OMG, thank you so much. It gives us so much validation on how we've framed/forged our system over the years. 💜
Anna Molly Thank you as well, it means a lot to know it has been helpful.
Thank you again for another helpfull video. I really appreciate that you can put this information in a short video. In my opinion this is exactly the kind of information we need to understand did/osdd and it gives a possibility to inform others in the right way. And that’s worth so much! So thank you again for putting in your time en effort to bring this in to the world! Looking forward to your next video.
More! Therapists! Need! To! Know! This!
I have OSDD, and I found this soooo helpful. Thanks for explaining!
Thank you Mike for this information, I could relate to a lot of what you were saying and saw then in myself. Take care.
I love the use of visuals for key points and lists in this video!
Thank you for content that can be footnoted. (Those who blow off foot-note-content will probably buy this bridge I could sell them. The difference in layman opinions and logically ordered facts of the matter. Facts that describe what one needs to know to be able to understand the next set of facts, that will lead to another set of facts.) A footnoted fact w logic puts guessing out to pasture and opens the welcome-in- door to freedom from trying to figure something out from scratch. Helped me, what your said. Eleven days ago the dots connected and I experienced "someone else is at the helm, Has been an enlightening exhausting week. I am trying to find a psych clinic. I've had reasons in my past to attend therapy. It was great. I like knowing my truth. Enter truth exit self confusions and self doubt. Fight or flight is in my reputation and I always admit it. I don't or didn't understand why I literallyu run away from where ever I am. My first running away episode was on x-mas day, a Sunday, so were were going to church, I don't remember the content of that made me run, but I do have the memory of when it struck me to run away, get out, you get hurt so much, this is enough of this. Four years old and I walked to my room and packed a bag and left, over and over, run fast away. I remember a big run away drama at 17. It's been interrupting me all my life, across all roles. Thank you again for a great content.
I suppose I do not like the disorder word. I think the behavior is just exaggerated by the depth of the trauma that causes it. When I speak with other people, they have the same behavior, just not as disruptive. That speaks to my guideline for getting therapy, if whatever is going on stops one from moving forward, it's time to ask for help. Most of what I have been through was before any diagnosis had been thought of, so I had to come up with my own ways of coping. It helps to see the blessings of it and know had I not dissociated at the time, I would likely not be here now. Some of us have every reason to opt out and others may not eveen have survived it. Whatever happens and how we cope is good, it's how we survived to now. So instead of ignoring it or pushing it back, use it to our advantage. It can be helpful, in some situations to dissociate, the key is to realize it and come back. We are fragile and need to be gentle with ourselves, just because we do not fit into what society says, doesn't mean we are bad or doing anything wrong. We are not broken, I am also ADHD with autistic tendencies, just means we had more events that stretched our ability to cope. They are not disorders, they are coping mechanisms that help in the moment but need to evolve so as to not hurt our progress. I am tired of being labeled as anything other than a human being who has been through some shite. I do not want symapthy or to get away with not functioning, just some compassion while I work it out. It can all have a solution for each individual as long as we stop putting people in boxes and accept it is all about the human experience. This comment may not be relevant to anyone but helped me sort my thoughts, so thanks for the opportunity.
This is SO useful! Thank you- I am so grateful for your videos with such vital in depth information. They really really help us.
5:30-5:53 Hi Dr.Lloyd, I appreciate your TH-cam channel and I am grateful for you. Your explanation on DID and OSDD systems has helped tremendously in understanding what Action Systems are and how parts are influenced by attachment trauma through approach or avoidant behavior. I would like to ask a question about age and dissociative parts. Do you believe that it is possible for parts to identify as teenagers or young adults in a DID system?
My system has 3 child EP’s, caretaker, ANP with two sub-parts, persecutor, and two fragments.
The two sub-parts will often co-front with AMP and have had the ability to age continuously with AMP, but I did not have these 3 parts as they are today as a young child. I remember what was characteristics of them as a child, but I didn’t understand what was happening when they would take over. I really began noticing my AMP and sub-parts at age 15.
Could it be possible that a system who experienced childhood trauma-forms dissociative parts as young adults to help protect the system from the original trauma and/or trauma from post-childhood relationships?
Daisy D Yes, I see this often. Parts formed early in childhood ‘take on’ ages according to need, people identified with, idealised self-identities...all sorts of reasons. Sometimes the parts age, sometimes they don’t.
The CTAD Clinic Thank you Dr.Lloyd for taking time and interest in responding to my question from your video.
This was helpful in understanding how child parts will sometimes “take on ages” based on other internal factors such as in your examples mentioned. I believe that this knowledge can strengthen towards-approach behavior between system age groups. Also, I want to share how since discovering your channel, I’ve appreciated the way you communicate information on DID & OSDD throughly with clarity and flow. It has been so helpful!
Thank you for this understanding as I'm seeing and understanding one very special unique friend I have and this video has just explained a lot about him.
Need to watch this a few times..like someone ekse got it. But i am still clueless.. figures.
Same lolol
@@wibblewobble489 frustrating isn't it? I asked my T to watch this video- I think that there is something usefu here,l but it just can't quite get it here.
This is so helpful! Thank you for explaining this Dr. Mike 💜
Thank you. I'm going to have to do more research because I'm not sure I'm clear on this topic. I'll listen again.
Is it possible to get a functional life or get better from D I D. I feel heard understood and like a person said on here so much comfort from you and our channel thanks So much. Also do you think use of mind altering drugs that I seen help alters come forward speak easier open up and or hypnosis or does talking psychotherapy work best on its own thank you so much
Getting to know my self in all my ways of being. It is true for me that time is collapsed into irrelevance when my inner parts are upset.
Wow - you explain this so well. Thankyou!
Does this mean, as a "strategy', that a part that is fearful or angry or sad, is encouraged to be somewhat a little curious, seeing a capacity in oneself to be also help-or playful? Or did I misunderstand (or just not good to explain myself)?
Thank you for making this video
This video is so validating holy
No matter how much I watch this I don't understand what you're saying. It's like everything you already said only 100 times more complicated. This video is making feel anxious.
Thank you
Thank you for the information. A QUESTION: how to know of yourself which part of a oneself is following the therapie? "who" is visiting the therapist?
Thank you, helpful as always.
Thank you 🙏
I think this subject would be a lot easier to understand if you would give specific examples of parts and their personalities and behaviour
popiejopie I agree! It’s the balance of making a complex subject fitting into a short TH-cam video, it is an overview, realistically. Normally this would be the topic of an entire morning’s workshop!
Our system likes this upload thank you .
In OSDD can the host/dominant alter be replaced by what until that point has only been a passively influencing part of limited agency? Can there be a case that due to change in the system or an external trigger, the part that this far existed with little to no agency all of a sudden takes over the executive system and body and takes the place of the host?
Does being mindfull and practicing mindfulness help with osdd?
Would you mind talking about abusive part at some point and how to deal with them
Andy Driver Hi Andy, there is already a video on the channel covering this, have a look!
The CTAD Clinic what is the video called as I can not see it. Thanks
Andy Driver I think it’s this one th-cam.com/video/dSJCvfZZuT0/w-d-xo.html
Caroline Halford thank you
Thanks, I am finding your channel fascinating. But with regard to to topic of this video I'm not sure if I understood how this relates to alters. Are you saying that certain alters will be more associated with certain of these factors?
Thanks for the question! Think of alters as the behavioural component of an action system, each ‘created’ by the traumatised brain to enact a process that is required for safety/survival (in the most basic sense).
@@thectadclinic OK thank you 👍
Thank you so much!
Hi, I was wondering if you could explain what you meant when you said: “if you’re a therapist within your client’s system”?
Is it possible for someone with DID or OSDD to have an alter that is a therapist?
What time on the video is this said? I can have a look easily, thank you!
I feel like I have both types of parts in my system, can you have OSDD parts and DID parts? I have a lot of parts who were created through brainwashing etc and parts that I feel like my brain developed to cope with home life. I refer to them as programmed parts and core parts in my head. The core parts can come out and switch but the programmed ones don't come out. Except for 1, who joined with one of the core parts and can now come out. I haven't met anyone else like me to ask if this is 'normal' for my kind of trauma and it has been bothering me for some time. I feel like your video helped me put this into words. Action systems perfectly describe what the mind control aspect is of the brainwashing. But I also see it in the way my core parts learnt to deal with things. A lot of my action systems are based on a core belief, if I can be good enough today I won't get hurt. The reason they held onto that for so long is that if they had to admit this wasn't true they would loose their perceived control over whether or not they got hurt. It took me a really long time to convince them it was making life worse not better!
We have programed parts, too, and I'm not really sure if there's exactly a "normal" in that regard haha, but we very much relate with everything you're describing (though our programed parts can front, but it's... Different... Than how the parts of us that we made for home life etc switch).
But yeah, we relate, and it makes sense to us.
Ps. You have really good insights
@@proudlyplural9506 hey, thanks for replying to me. I've not met anyone else like me before and it felt really affirming to be understood. But I'm kind of conflicted saying that because if you understand, I know you have been through a lot. I appreciate your kindness.
Just learning about this have been in therapy about 5 months . I talk to them all the time to help integration. Been through much trama. Mine show up under very stressful situation . 4-5 yrs between times since about 17 yrs old . I’m praying we get integrated so I can have peace and feel myself again. When Integration happens can they be triggered again . Tk I for your info .
Thank you for this insight
Its very confusing as my parts started to appear after I got sober and my son was born????
I've heard they can start to appear once you've finally felt like you're settled and you're at a mental state now where you are able to handle and confront your past. Because you are in a safe place now and have matured to a point where you can handle these things. They were set on the back burner until you were ready. And I've heard too that when your raising a kid, when they hit certain ages or life staged that can set off your triggers from that same age.
Andy Driver Kane said exactly what I would have put, all this is seen clinically, hope it helps your understanding.
Kane thank you. How do you handle the abusive parts?
The CTAD Clinic thanks
@@andydriver5009 probably you're talking about introjects or persecutors? I think CTAD has another video about unwanted alters and probably dissociaDID has some good videos as well. I've no experience myself. What I've learned through research is that these abusive parts are trying to protect you, they're mostly stuck in trauma time and have learned unhealthy coping mechanisms because they were never able to learn healthier ones. Mainly, they need to be treated with empathy, support, love, and acceptance. They are very wounded, very scared, and very hurt. Suicidal parts can see themselves as trying to protect the body from any further pain by ending their life, the Entropy System has a video of her experience with her persecutor who later went on to become a protector - dissociaDID mentioned that it's not uncommon that persecutors go on to become the best protectors. They might be lashing out at others or self sabotaging because they are afraid of the harm, the trauma, the loss that might come from those relationships. Or maybe they are hyper critical and perfectionistic, because they feel they need to be strong and worthy and perfect to escape any abuse, abandonment, or trauma they would experience otherwise. they are afraid of being unworthy or abandoned.
I'm not familiar with any of my parts if they're there. Trying to get back into therapy and learning all that I can until then. I'd definitely suggest looking at some of dissociaDID or the Entropy systems videos on the subject for more personal accounts. MultiplicityandMe as well.
What happens in therapy if your therapist and treating team don’t get DID I Ben told font need understand and I don’t have to educate them it doesn’t make difference if people understand DID or not when treating me
Your videos are so helpful
I won't be able to express this very well but I need to try as it has been making us really unwell lately. Via twitter and Facebook groups that I am in for DID, there is a huge amount of people joining who do not have DID but are role play people. There is also a large amount who are saying that you can get DID without having trauma. They say it is even in the DSM, but when other people ask them to back it up or prove it, they won't. Could you PLEASE tell us if it is true that you can have this disorder without having the trauma? Is it in the DSM. I have no energy to do any research as I am at my wits end. Thank you, I would be grateful for any help with this.
Hi Jazmine. We hope you don't mind us answering, but the long and short answer is NO. DID is caused by intense, prolonged trauma and the DSM V absolutely does NOT say that DID can be caused without it. Anyone stating that has no understanding of how DID is formed. DID is formed BY TRAUMA. The trauma does NOT have to be sexual, or abusive, but can also be environmental (a war, natural disaster, deprivation of basic needs) in nature. DID CANNOT form after the age range of 9 to 10 years of age, despite later traumas- this is due to the way the brain forms the final personality from the ego states. Trauma interrupts this process. We cover this and also the Theory of Structural Dissociation in our video here: th-cam.com/video/pxnE8wlmECE/w-d-xo.html. We also have a variety of other videos covering DID and a series of episodes designed specially for System Littles where we have created a Safe Space for them to enjoy and listen to stories. Many systems have found it comforting. We understand how you feel, it's a very complex disorder. There's alot of confusion and misinformation out there. Hang in there, you're not alone. --- The Infinity System💕💪👥(Loved, Strong, Not Alone)
@@TheInfinitySystem Thank you.
@@jazminebellx11 Not at all. You're most welcome. 💕
The Infinity System Thank you for putting all this together, very helpful response.
@@thectadclinic Not at all. Glad to help!
I suspect that I have a dissociative disorder (not DID) and your videos have been very helpful. My therapist even said we could look into it last time I saw her :)
What are you thoughts on DID as a form of possession?
But how can you tell if its a highly influential osdd part or a did part? when they both take your body, voice and words during triggers in therapy but you vaguely remember it.
Hopefully that is where a skilled therapist would help!
How did you know the person who was triggered by your facial hair, was triggered? Was there a noticable response that you ended up following up on insidscussion with the incividual? What are these subtle changes you talk about, that tell you someone is dissociating?
Their reaction instantly, and they told me afterwards.
@@thectadclinic okay, thank you.
This information is very helpful I have been unofficially diagnosed with the ID but my therapist and my psychiatrist are going on the assumption that I have it and I have a want to of my alters that affect the body which is made a host rogue she is a 10-year-old and she is a runaway from home and lives on the streets and she loves gummy bears so much that a lot of times I have to keep telling her that we don’t have any gummy bears in the house right now and when there are she gravitate right toward him and grabs him with me knowing what’s going on it was supposed to be grabs them and she will pick them up and go over to the couch controlling me my actions and sitting down and start eating the gummy bears and then rogue is very very unsure about people after work apparently it happened to her and I also have another one that came out night before last night her name is Lisa she came out completely but I could still hear and see and feel what was going on because I was cold conscious with her and she helped get my wife in the bed from her power wheelchair and handled everything as good if not better than what I do and yeah I did have a voice change pitch and I think some of my mannerisms during that episode had changed as well as when rogue was trying to come out and she was Cole conscious but controlling me I believe there are some mannerisms that changed with her as well and because I have pancreatitis I have to keep her under control so that I don’t overdo it on the sugar but thank you very much for this information I really greatly appreciate it I have a three rolled as well she likes staying in her room and playing with toys anyone that comes in she instantly goes into a scream of fear and she never comes out of that room I have a fairy also she’s over 125 years and she keeps me in a happy mood and she’s very inquisitive and curious of everything and I also have 11 and she is scared of everything and she also has fear of people and she knows and feels that she was experimented on in a government laboratory and I also have another one called seven of nine I have no idea what she looks like but she is one that makes me angry and affects me in many ways including wanting to destroy things and she also which I’ve been fighting she causes me to have self harm or even suicidal thoughts and or actions going back to Lesa she is a Carpenter has her own workshop and her own tools to build things and as host so do I so I sure a bit with her more as far as likes with carpentry and woodworking she is also got my visual problem as well and she still functions well with talking tape measure a talking level and many other things that a blind person could use and I am legally blind with only light and shadow and some shapes and colors are fading out on me I just figured I would give you an outline of how I am affected by all of my alters
Hi I am needing advice please I am in inpatient treatment and I have been working so hard but not all get D I D And in the mornings I am in a really young alter part and until I get my meds and cold water breakfast I start to come right and move out that part to be able to function they get my water and give me meds and prepare my breakfast and i need company to eat or I stay stuck company grounds me and just then talk to me say eat and show how use spoon I have no idea how to get out of this part first thing in morning to function the food and drink grounds me and company without company and food I go deeper deeper into trauma what do I do cause they say get on and do it yourself now but in morning I wake up terribly frightened baby part and there’s no snapping out of it by choice they reckon yes nor if I have company people are being I am bringing people to my trauma but I’m in another part and don’t know what to do if I dont get out of it I stay stuck in it please any advice because some nurses think a choice
Hi Michelle, We cannot offer specific advice, more only to say that for any work wth dissociation to be useful in inpatient settings, the staff there need to understand what dissociation is. They should be compassionate about it and to have solid approaches for managing parts and behaviours associated with dissociation.
@@thectadclinic thank you I wish you were closer and here in nz I think that’s it we limited to choice and lack understanding think choice thanks you
I have 3 questions; So sorry this is so long. I'm having a hard time trying to be succinct lol
1) So for every action system eg defence, attachment, procreation etc- there are both Approach and Aversion behaviours?
2) Are these behaviours usually encapsulated within a singular alter? -- if not, is this why the average amount of alters for a DID system is so high?
I wonder if its common in your experiecne Mike, for DID'ians to have an alter or group of alters for each of the categories you mentioned?
For eg I'm the host of a poly frag'd system and if i've understood your content correctly, for us there are at least 1 alter for every single approach and avoidance category/behaviour for every action system you've listed. Eg, We have (groups of) people solely dedicated to curiocity, others solely dedicated to nurturing and others for play etc etc same with the aversions ones. Groups of those who hold fear, others who hold rage and anger and revenge fantasies etc....
I wonder if that fracturing is the result of the 7 or so main first (biggest and strongest alters these days) being pushed beyond their personal limits with regards to their own action systems? Or perhaps because each action system is so different and our brain REALLY likes organisation, that we split more and more because "thats' not my job"(something i hear a lot from the alters lol) Even though these first 7 or so are very very well rounded and do encompass multiple behaviours and purposes.
I'm guessing there was just a coping requirement for more people and with every new situational difference, it created a new alter to handle it. Is that common in DID? To amke a new alter for every new situational change?
Eg A Change in perpetrator (we had a group of them)= new alter for every single action system created as needed..The result is a massive system, 50% of which i'm co-con with and we rarely lose time. It's this first one who has main control most of the time and the 2nd one is comprised of all the essentially "duplicates" (sounds so inhumane, they're definitely not fragments lol). I've never really understood WHYYY there were so many of us, but after watching this video i think i understand much better now. Thank you Mike I feel like less of an anigma now lol :)
3) Is it rational and makes sense that the little ones holding the sadness over their lost toys would be calmed by the replacement of said toys in adulthood. We have sought out to replace some of the very key important toys we had in the 90's and ive noticed an immediate calming of the entire system and those little's who were so deeply saddened seem to have melted back deeper inside and are rarely heard of or seen again. Unless and until they front and play with said toy... I guess i struggle with how you could or would support an alter through the grief of their toy without replaceing it when it appears to be anyway- their entire sole purpose for existing...to be comforted by said toy.
Sorry I lack focus at the moment haha,
I think my initial thought would be just to consider that alter might just be seeking comfort?
So idk if you have the means to replace the toy, but maybe you could try to use inner world to give them the toy again, even if it's not in the physical world?
And/or maybe consider if there's other ways to comfort them? Maybe they could choose a new toy, or might be comforted by getting to choose to have something fun like hot coco or cuddling in a soft blankie or building a fort or sitting on rocking chair or listening to a favorite song or a child's TV show or... Whatever might work for y'all?
Just brainstorming... I know it's really hard when there's an alter that you don't know how to understand and how to help etc.
Hope you have a great day! :)
@@proudlyplural9506 THanks for your thoughts. We already do all of those things for every one of our 200 alters LOLOL. they're VERY well taken care of inner world. But for us, we attached to physical tangible outside objects as kids (as research shows most traumatised kids tend to do when people are unsafe), so it really is about that sole physical item..thankfully, we are a chlid of the late 80's and our childhood was inthe 90's so i've been able to actually get the same toys or very close replicas of them for almost all the alters :D Winning! hahaha.
So many good questions - this is why being in therapy with someone experienced helps, all these should be discussed and figured out for you individually in that environment.
@@thectadclinic yeh, i would be if the nearest DID aware therapist wasn't $300 a half hr and 15hrs away from me LOL. I'm also yet to mee 1 who doesn't wanna delve into trauma asap and essentially study us.
@@wibblewobble489 YES!
Haha... Very very much relate, we are in similar situation, and yeah... Straight up have some stuff that I have no idea how to process because they seem to be clear result of therapist digging in things and... Yeah.
It's unethical for therapists to do that. It would never be done for any other trauma disorder in that way, and it seems like the assumption is that it's better to be a single person than multiple, vs just helping the client live their healthiest life.
DID people have a right to safe and proven treatment just like anyone else with any other struggles.
Anyways, sorry, haha, I get really angry since been looking into the research etc, it makes us angry that other DID people have been treated like some fascinating science experiment, too...we are people.
Multiples are not less valuable in worth as human beings than singles, they are just different.
Oh and yeah, glad to see that you're grew up similar time as us, we would have suggested eBay (we have a sibling with autism and have been SO THANKFUL to live in the time of ebay, haha, there's been some super random stuff that have been essential at different times for him, and golly idk how we would have been able to handle that in any time before the time we live in! ) we've had our "comfort items" as well, though unfortunately there's stuff that we can't recall the name of etc. Really interesting point about children with trauma attaching to objects, I'm not sure if I'd heard of that before, it certainly makes sense and lines up with our experience as well!
Anyways, sorry to hear you're having similar struggles with therapy as we are. It's really rubbish for it to be so ridiculously hard... There's plenty of struggles that come directly from DID, but it really seems like such a large portion of struggle from DID is not so much *because of* DID, but just from the shame, and lack of accessibility, and just stuff that's logistical and really not necessary.
We hope things will be large improvement in the future and things will not be so hard for DID, at least the things that don't have to be hard.
Stigma has improved in the last few years so that's a promising direction at least :)
What places in world treat did. I’m in bad bad place and where I am I don’t think they know what doing it doesn’t feel safe keeps changing
Treatment for dissociation varies across different countries, but the US and Australian guidelines are generally viewed as standard.
@@thectadclinic I m inpatient and don’t think they get DID my therapist now when go she won’t interact with whoever fronts with her who too young to communicate with her she demands another part to come through which doesn’t happen so nothing happens think pressure is coming from others in clinical team it was good till week ago and now she had taken this way and left us very bad place and I can’t force a switch to please her now she is reminding me of bad personal feels really controlling and I we are a mess I don’t know what to do I am helper part but we mostly very stuck baby young parts no words non verbal and they blaming michelle for being stuck can you please help I’m not in Australia or America just past Australia. And very very disabled from DID and your video here describes how they should be understanding us but they just forcing and doing to me us we don’t know how to play I switch a lot thank you hope said nothing scary triggering
@@thectadclinic The mental health system here in NZ is shocking.
www.odt.co.nz/news/dunedin/health/mentally-unwell-woman-left-alone-motel
So, I don't *disagree* with anything specific that you've said, and I think you share many great ideas and good approaches for systems and their allies...
However, after learning more in depth about what the theory of structural dissociation means, it helps explain the intent behind many actions of therapists over the years which were harmful to us, however well intended, and I guess the thing is, regardless of *HOW* DID formed, and regardless of if being multiple is atypical (which granted, it is, but atypical in itself is not a mental illness, the assumption that a person "should be" only one person per body simply because that's how most people experience the world is unethical... The treatment of mental illness should seek to minimize distress /disorder and increase healthy behaviors... So while these suggestions *do* align with that goal, I just don't feel that the assumption that being a single person is by default the ideal goal, if possible...
Yes, it could be argued that, most likely, if there had not been trauma in early childhood, the person would likely have become one individual person....but the trauma (it whatever other reason someone might develop that way) *did* happen, and even if, for example, one system were simply a person who exists in that life during the night and the other during the day... Those two alters are both separate and equally important and valid people.
They've lived full lives, separate from knowing each other. They've have different experiences.
They may have been made with the same clay, or the essence of who that person is... But they have lived different lives, and grown into different people than each other.
I know all alters share the same body and life and such, so a system is different in some ways from an individual person, and I don't want to imply that I disagree with fusion - I just think it tends to happen naturally when the mind feels like it makes sense, at least in our system (and we've gained a LOT of shame and greater self hate and distress and just.... Things have been much harder for us to work together when we've had a therapist who believed the ideal outcome was full fusion, despite it being our "choice".... It always felt shameful to discuss any other possibilities, as if it was something like smoking that clearly is accepted to be unhealthy, so while the client would always be the one choosing to stop smoking, there's clearly a healthy or not healthy option....
So I just don't know that therapists all consider the pressure that societal norms combined with the authority of the therapist end up placing on a particular outcome.
I got off topic, I'm sorry about that, I just... I disagree with the idea that alters are all part of the same unified personality.
Even if they could have become a unified sense of self had trauma not occurred, I don't know why it's assumed that a unified sense of self is not achived within alters themselves. Not all are, but that doesn't mean they can't be.
And I know that alters often do have a certain role in a system, or at least they likely came to existence for a certain role..
But that doesn't mean that's all that alter is.
If someone loses their job, they don't stop existing, haha, so there seems to be the assumption of that occurring with alters, and that's not been true for us. And no, it's not because we are unwilling to work through trauma. Though the premise that trauma is what keeps alters separate seems to... Lead to therapists being very eager to dig through traumas, in a way that would not be ethical in any other diagnosis or context, and I'm not sure why it's accepted the way it is.
Anyhow, I'm sure I'm not explaining this in the way I'd like, but I have limited neurological spoons and this is what I have. I do appreciate you providing this content, and I honestly don't really expect my points to be understood, but we've done a great deal of research and thinking on the topic and this is what we believe.
DID is a mental illness, not because it's different than typical, but because of the parts that cause disorder/distress.
Multiplicity, in itself, isn't a disorder, it's just neurodiversity.
Sometimes distress also comes from society, or even from mental health professionals, even if they are well intentioned.
It was not long ago that the LGBTQ+ community was seen as mentally ill because they were just not typical. Autistic individuals are often taught that their forms of expression are "wrong" just because they aren't typical, and I've disagreed with that premise my whole life, and it's good to see more voices from that community are starting to be heard... Not enough, from either community, and I know they are different, but just the concept of how we view "healthy" is the point... Typical just means typical.
I think it's fascinating to ponder what might lead to someone becoming DID, but I think it's important to not get stuck on why, because the fact is, we don't really know exactly, and it is what it is regardless, and it just seems like there's this obsession on restoring someone to a hypothetical self that had not ever existed, and assuming that all alters are part of that hypothetical unified sense of self that theoretically would have formed when they were a child... It just seems unfounded, and frankly, unfair.
I don't know why it's seen as wrong to just be who we are.
We aren't broken. Nor are we all the same person.
We have the same soul, and the same body, but we aren't each other. Nor should we be told that if one of us wants something that the others of us must also want it, too, deep down.
No, haha... No.
We've been through that, and that's just like some bizarre gaslighting exercise that makes us try to convince ourselves of things that aren't true and it's just maddening haha.
I (we) can identify with much of what you say
We 1000% concur with everything you said (co-con poly frag system over here) I as a host have a fundamental disagreement with a lot of the theory. I feel it is simply 'experts' trying to put DID into a nice neat little box so that they can "fix" the person sitting in the T's office.
It IS helpful at times though...
Through our own growth and healing processes the theory of Struc. Diss. has been helpful in the sense of identifying who does what within our system (like, they all already knew lololol but i didn't), how people work and why they do certain behaviours...And especially how they came to be...
But yes- you're very right- the theory REALLLLLLLY prioritizes the one with the bodys birth name taking on all the trauma that was too much for the psyche previous to now (and somehow not getting ptsd even though trained therapists get it from hearing our trauma), and that the alters once they've "processed" (there's a magical unicorn term if ever i've heard one) the alter will peacefully blend with the host or someone else and cease to be (but we are supposed to believe they're still there, just without any control---sounds like death to us personally but whatever lol) and then everything will be ok cos congrats you're a "healthy and NORMAL" person now... like what?!??!!?!? Right after they just finish touting about how these structural nurological brain changes occur in childhood and are irrepairable. You can't just think your way to a new sized amydala as far as i know LOL
These days its like they've realised the DID community who actually cares about their alters won't stand for this inhumane treatment of both 'parts' and hosts. And so as a result, they're now pushing cooperation among parts as the primary therapeutic goal. Which, in my mind, isn't a bad thing at all...But there does stil exist a push by therapists/psychologists and psychiatrists to get to the "real" person and for the "real" person (the birth cert named one) to take on ALLLLLL the knowledge of perhaps decades of abuse. and yes, like you said, to go wading through the systems trauma history to achieve such a task. All of course, under the disguise of 'processing'.
I just take the whole thing with a grain of salt thse days. My first priority isn't knowing my trauma history and frankly, the parts i have known and been learning from the others over the past 8 yrs have given me significantly more PTSD and resulted in me the host being traumatized, as well as my highly trained trauma therapist! The fact remains, there are just some atrocities that will traumatise ANYONE who learns of them, see's them or hears of them. So why on earth would that or SHOULD that be the primary goal of any intervention? Nope, hard pass... ahahaha, i've learned to leave well enough alone and help the others as best i can with whatever i can at my disposal. Easing their suffering is the first goal and talking about it does fuck all, and only serves to traumatise those who hear/see it. lol
@@wibblewobble489 YES YES YES!!! haha, so freaking glad to see we're not the only ones coming to this conclusion! Thanks so much for sharing! :)
We are also polyfragmented system, I'm pretty sure we had several co-con at the time, idk, I just read it back but we've got increasingly migraine making thinking just like... Not working hahaha. Kinda bummer, too, cause it seems like when neurological resources are limited, our brain/mind tends to just have one of us fronting, usually that's me, and I don't mind, but I just... I appreciate that a bunch of us can just regularly be Co con, or at least like, I'll be trying to type out something and when there's something that others have a point about, they will just kinda be co con at that moment, idk if that makes sense, it's pretty fascinating how many different ways things can work and yeah, haha, I seriously don't know why I don't just go to sleep, I'm being very silly, but I just... We feel very strongly about this stuff and we really appreciated your reply, thank you so much!
I think a major action system is missing from the paradigm. I don't know what to call it, but "Cyclic Harmonizing" describes it crudely. In effect, coming into harmony with the rhythms and cycles of life, with the natural world, and with respect to disciplined, routine behaviors. It may not fit for other primates and mammals who only forage and react in the moment, and that's probably the model that informed the idea of "Major" for them. But humans are unique in that we've integrated culture, routine and discipline into the very fabric of our social existence. It's easy for me to care for myself and others and be accountable reactively when there's an immediate pressing need or when I've agreed to commit to doing a particular action in the future. But I find it nearly impossible to initiate and sustain self-efficacious, routine behavior. And I don't think this is a higher level of action. I think it is absolutely fundamental to being human and should be considered a Major action system. A day does not go by when the sun doesn't rise and set. We don't live in a fully chaotic and reactive world.
😢 you saying that because You don't know Jesus .
HE is still waiting for You
@@JustaBubu go troll elsewhere
Sub categories? Oh come on. Too much, I don't get it. I'm chronically numb, Fearful Angry and Sad. And I don't understand what is meant by personality. I need this dumbed down. You get to the point quickly without all these categories. And subcategories. I watched 3 times and I still don't get it.
Why is my system so threatened by this video
So basically my personality is a giant trauma scab.
I can see I've seen this video before - one more time can not hurt, with this content [i know triggers] but it's healing to know we're not alone 🤍
Thank you!